♪♪
>> HEY GUYS, WELCOME BACK TO THE PODCAST.
I AM JOINED HERE TODAY WITH MY HUSBAND JONATHAN,
AND WE HAVE WITH US AUTHOR AND ACTOR, CODY BOBAY.
>> YEAH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> AND THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE AS WELL.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> THIS, WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT CODY BEING HERE,
I WAS LIKE, IT WOULD BE A CRIME NOT TO HAVE
MY HUSBAND HERE.
AND I FEEL LIKE THE CONVERSATION,
CONVERSATION IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH BETTER
HAVING YOU HERE.
>> LET'S HOPE SO.
>> YEAH.
>> HEY, DON'T MESS IT UP.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY.
>> YOU WON'T. HE WON'T.
SO LET'S JUST JUMP RIGHT INTO YOUR TESTIMONY.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU DID NOT GROW UP AROUND CHURCH AT ALL,
IT SOUNDED LIKE.
>> YEAH, NOT AT ALL.
YEAH.
SO YEAH.
THANK YOU GUYS FOR HAVING ME ON YOUR PODCAST.
I LOOK FORWARD, I'M GLAD TO GET TO KNOW YOU.
AND I LOOK FORWARD TO GET TO KNOW YOU MORE.
AND YOU AS WELL, REBECCA.
SO, YEAH, MY STORY IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN,
THAN MOST.
BUT I WAS RAISED WITH MY DAD AND MY BROTHER,
AND I'M 40 YEARS OLD.
SO WHEN I WAS RAISED WITH MY DAD AND MY BROTHER,
IN THAT TIME, IT WAS NOT AS COMMON AS IT IS TODAY,
UNFORTUNATELY, TO HAVE A DIVORCED HOME.
SO WHEN YOU'RE A KID TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE
IN THIS LIFE AND YOU'RE EXPLAINING TO PEOPLE,
AND YOU GET INVITED OVER TO BIRTHDAY PARTIES
AND DIFFERENT EVENTS AND THEY'RE LIKE,
OH, SO TELL US ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.
YOU KNOW, LIKE, WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS DO FOR WORK?
AND, YOU KNOW, MY DAD DID THIS, AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM?
AND THEN THEY FIND OUT THEY WERE DIVORCED
AND I LIVED WITH MY DAD.
EVERYBODY STARTED TO HAVE RED FLAGS OF LIKE,
OH, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS KID.
AND, YOU KNOW, AS PARENTS DO, LIKE, I'M INTENTIONAL
WITH MY KIDS NOW OF LIKE, WHAT DO THEIR PARENTS BELIEVE?
WHAT'S THEIR INFRASTRUCTURE IN THEIR HOUSE?
FOR ME, WITH MY, I HAVE TWO TEENAGERS NOW, OF LIKE
WHAT DO THEIR PARENTS ALLOW AND WHAT DON'T THEY ALLOW?
WELL, LIKE MY HOUSEHOLD WAS, ANYTHING WAS ALLOWED.
SO IT WAS, REALLY, I BECAME AN OUTCAST EVEN THOUGH I WAS,
LIKE REALLY POPULAR IN SCHOOL.
I WAS AN OUTCAST WITH THE PEOPLE I WANTED TO BE ACCEPTED BY,
WHICH IS LIKE THEIR FAMILY VACATION,
LIKE FRIEND VACATIONS.
AND I SAW THIS LIFE BEING LIVED, AND IT DROVE ME
WHEN I WAS 13 TO, YOU KNOW, I STARTED DRINKING
AND I REALIZED THAT ALCOHOL WAS A GREAT TOOL
TO NUMB MY BRAIN FROM SOME OF THAT PAIN.
AND THEN I STARTED TO PARTY REALLY HARD.
AND PARTYING WAS LIKE ALWAYS FOR ME,
IT WAS ABOUT BROTHERHOOD BECAUSE I LOVED
HANGING OUT WITH THE GUYS.
I LOVED GETTING DRUNK AND GOING AND GETTING IN A
FIGHT AND THEN TALKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS,
LIKE IT WAS JUST REALLY A THRILL.
ANYBODY THAT SAYS IT'S NOT FUN OR A GOOD TIME,
THEY'VE NEVER DONE IT AND THEY'RE LYING.
LIKE, IF THEY HAVE DONE IT, THEY'RE TRYING TO BE LIKE,
OH, I'M GONNA BE A GOOD CHRISTIAN,
SAY THAT THAT'S NOT FUN.
NO, IT'S A GOOD TIME.
AND YOU GET TO KNOW WHO YOUR BROTHERS --
THERE'S AN ELEMENT OF MASCULINITY THAT'S, LIKE,
REALLY DIFFERENT AND COOL WITH THAT.
SO I WAS SEARCHING FOR THAT.
I WANTED THAT COOL.
AND I FELL TOO FAR INTO IT.
AND IT WAS THEN I REMEMBER LIKE I WAS HAVING SEX
THINKING ABOUT LIKE THE BROTHERHOOD, WHICH WAS STRANGE,
OF LIKE MY, MY, MY GUYS ARE GOING TO THINK
I'M COOLER FOR THIS MOMENT.
AND THEN I WOULD DO THINGS AFTERWARDS TO LIKE
FEMALES' REPUTATIONS THAT I WAS SUPER SAD ABOUT.
AND MY GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY AND MY,
YOU KNOW, BROTHERHOOD.
AND I STARTED TO REALLY HATE WHO I WAS BECOMING.
>> SO YOU WERE REALLY,
IT SOUNDS LIKE SEARCHING FOR ALMOST A FAMILY
WITHIN YOUR FRIENDS.
>> YEAH.
>> A COMMUNITY.
>> YEAH.
>> A DEEP LONGING FOR THAT.
>> YEAH.
I REALLY THINK EVERY MAN IS LONGING,
EVERY WOMAN.
BUT I KNOW, LIKE, THE AREA THAT GOD HAS CALLED ME TO
IS LIKE CREATING CONTENT FOR THE MASCULINE SOUL.
I KNOW MEN ARE LONGING FOR ACCEPTANCE.
AND, HEY, I'M GOING TO HAVE YOUR BACK, YOU HAVE MY BACK,
AND LET'S GO TAKE ON WHATEVER MISSION
WE'RE GOING TO DO.
AND THAT'S -- IT'S FUN.
LIKE WHEN YOU KNOW, LIKE, I CAN TRUST YOU,
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
WE'RE GOING TO GO HAVE SOME FUN AND ACCOMPLISH
WHAT WE SET OUT FOR,
AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO RUN WHEN THE FIGHT STARTS.
THERE'S THAT FREEDOM THERE THAT CHRIST MADE IN THE
MASCULINE SOUL.
BUT IF CHRIST ISN'T KING OF THAT, AND HE WASN'T
KING OF ANYTHING OF MY SOUL IN HIGH SCHOOL,
JUNIOR HIGH, HIGH SCHOOL, YOU CAN END UP LIKE ME,
TO WHERE YOU'RE CELEBRATED EXTERNALLY BY PEOPLE AND
YOU ARE POPULAR AND YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THESE THINGS,
BUT YOU'RE MISERABLY -- YOU'RE GOING THROUGH
A MISERABLE LIFE INTERNALLY.
AND I JUST REMEMBER, LIKE, I'D GO TO PARTIES AND
LIKE, WE'D HAVE A GREAT TIME AND WE'D GO HOME AND
I'D STILL BE THE GUY THAT COULDN'T SLEEP REALLY WELL,
AND I'D BE DRUNK AND HIGH, AND I'D LOOK AT
MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND BE LIKE,
I HATE WHO YOU'VE BECOME.
>> AND YOU SAID GROWING UP THERE WAS KIND OF THIS
SENSE IN YOU THAT YOU WANTED TO BE A GOOD
PERSON, BUT YOU JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW.
>> YEAH.
LIKE, I THINK THIS IS WHY, LIKE, SO I'M AN ACTOR NOW.
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO PLAY A BAD GUY, WHICH I
TRY TO PLAY THE ACTION HERO IN ALL MY ROLES, BUT
THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF BAD GUYS IN AUDITIONS I COULD
CONNECT WITH, BECAUSE EVERY BAD GUY THAT I'VE
BEEN AROUND AND SEEN, THEY THINK THEY'RE DOING GOOD WORK.
AND NOW, NOT EVERYONE, BUT A LOT OF THEM, LIKE THE
INTERESTING SIDE OF A GOOD BAD GUY ON FILM, IS THAT
THEY THINK THEY'RE ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING
EFFECTIVE FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY.
AND I, YOU KNOW, I WENT DOWN A TOUGH ROAD, AND I
THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN RELATE WITH THE PARTYING
LIFESTYLE, THINKING LIKE, OH, I'M GOING TO, FOR MEN,
I THINK I'M GOING TO FIND MASCULINITY.
BUT IF CHRIST ISN'T THE KING OF THAT, YOU'RE GOING
TO END UP WITH NOTHING AND YOU END UP LIKE ME,
STARING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR SAYING,
I HATE WHO I'VE BECOME.
BUT I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO GET OUT OF IT.
SO I THOUGHT THE MILITARY WAS HOW I WAS GOING TO
BECOME A GOOD PERSON.
SO I SAW, I WAS LOOKING AT ALL MY OPTIONS FOR COLLEGE,
AND THE MILITARY HAD THIS SIGN CALLED
THE UNITED STATES NAVY, BE SOMEONE SPECIAL.
AND I WAS LIKE, MAN, I WANT TO BE SOMEONE SPECIAL.
LIKE, I WANT TO ACTUALLY BE SIGNIFICANT RATHER THAN
SOMEBODY WHO, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, IS MORE OF A WOMANIZER WITH --
AND THAT'S NOT WHO I WANTED TO BE, EVER.
BUT I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T STAY FAITHFUL
IN RELATIONSHIPS AT ALL.
AND I WOULD CHEAT.
AND THE PARTYING LIFESTYLE WAS CONDUCIVE
TO UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT.
I DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT GUYS ALL THE TIME AND DO
THAT UNNECESSARILY.
AND I'M STILL A FAN OF ELIMINATING EVIL,
BUT UNNECESSARILY IS A WASTE OF TIME.
SO I JOINED THE MILITARY THINKING THAT I COULD BE
A GOOD PERSON BY JOINING THE U.S. NAVY.
>> WHAT WAS IT LIKE WHEN YOU FIRST JOINED?
WAS IT WHAT YOU EXPECTED IT TO BE?
DID YOU FEEL LIKE PRETTY QUICKLY YOU'RE LIKE,
THIS ISN'T FULFILLING THIS --
WHAT WHAT WAS IT LIKE FOR YOU?
>> YEAH, IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING
BECAUSE ONCE YOU JOIN THE MILITARY,
ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE STRIPPED, LIKE,
NAKED, METAPHORICALLY AND PHYSICALLY.
LIKE YOUR HAIRCUT CHANGES, YOU GET A BUZZ CUT,
YOU'RE SHOWERING WITH 80 GUYS ALL THE TIME.
THERE'S A SPIGOT IN THE MIDDLE, AND 12 GUYS
SHOWER AROUND.
I THINK 12 GUYS ARE ON ONE THING, BUT IT'S FOR THE
LIKE, LET'S GET NAKED AND VULNERABLE AND LIKE,
LET'S SUFFER TOGETHER.
SO THE CONCEPT IS REALLY COOL.
BUT AS A MAN THAT DOESN'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE,
I FOUND MYSELF MEASURING MY MASCULINITY WITH EVERYBODY
AND PHYSICALLY, METAPHORICALLY,
EVERYTHING.
>> KIND OF LIKE COMPARING YOURSELF?
>> YEAH.
LIKE, YOU KNOW, I WANT TO DO MORE PUSH-UPS THAN THIS GUY,
AND I WANT TO GET BETTER GRADES IN THE CLASSROOM
THAN THIS GUY.
IT LED ME DOWN THE PATH OF TRYING TO BE GOOD WITHOUT
KNOWING THE SOURCE OF GOOD, AND I FELL RIGHT
BACK INTO IT, ACTUALLY HEAVIER THAN BEFORE.
SO, WE FINISHED BOOT CAMP, AND I ENDED UP
HELPING LEAD THE GROUP OF GUYS IN BOOT CAMP.
>> SO YOU WERE A LEADER THERE?
>> YEAH.
I ALMOST GOT IN A FIGHT WITH OUR DRILL SERGEANT IN
BOOT CAMP BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW, BUT, LIKE, HE CAME
UP TO ME, HE WOKE ME UP AT, LIKE,
WE GOT TO BED AT 2:00.
AT 4:00, HE WAS KICKING THE TRASH CAN, AND IT HIT MY
RACK, AND HE WAS A SHORTER MAN.
AND I STOOD UP, AND I STILL -- I HAVE A FIGHT.
THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT.
I'M JUST LIKE A FIGHT.
AND ESPECIALLY I HAVE TWO HOURS OF SLEEP AND YOU
KICK MY THING.
I DON'T KNOW THESE RULES OF BOOT CAMP YET.
AND HE SAW IT IN ME AND HE'S LIKE, OH, I'LL MAKE
YOU THE LEADER.
AND HE THOUGHT I WAS GONNA FAIL.
BUT WE DID REALLY SUCCESSFUL.
I WAS THE LEADER OF THEM THE WHOLE TIME, WHICH WAS COOL.
BUT I SAW WHAT GUYS WERE LOOKING FOR IN A LEADER.
AND AGAIN, MASCULINITY IS INTERESTING.
WHEN CHRIST IS NOT THE KING OF MASCULINITY,
IT'S CONSTANTLY EVOLVING.
AND YOU SEE IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA WITH THESE LIKE
PEOPLE THAT ARE JUST INTO, HEY,
I JUST RAN A MARATHON.
WELL, NEXT I'M GOING TO RUN A HUNDRED MILE RACE.
NEXT I'M GONNA RUN 240.
I JUST DID A HUNDRED PUSH-UPS.
I'M GOING TO DO A THOUSAND PUSH-UPS, AND I'M GOING
TO DO A THOUSAND PULL-UPS IN A DAY.
IT'S THIS THING YOU'RE CHASING AFTER AND NEVER
SATIATED WITH.
AND I SAW THAT IN THE MILITARY.
>> WHAT WOULD YOU SAY MEN ARE LOOKING FOR
IN A LEADER?
>> YEAH, WELL, MY FAVORITE SCENE OF ANY MOVIE IS IN
BRAVEHEART, WHERE WILLIAM WALLACE COMES UP AND HE'S
LIKE, IF YOU WOULD JUST SHOW THEM COURAGE,
THEY WOULD FOLLOW YOU.
LIKE, IF YOU WOULD HAVE THAT, THESE GUYS WOULD
FOLLOW YOU.
AND I THINK MEN JUST WANT TO SEE COURAGE IN ANOTHER MAN.
>> THE OTHER SCENE THAT RIVALS THAT ONE,
COINCIDENTALLY, ALSO MEL GIBSON IS IN THE PATRIOT.
>> OH MY GOD.
>> WHEN THE FIRSTBORN SON IS TAKEN PRISONER,
I HOPE I DON'T CRY RIGHT NOW.
>> DO IT.
IT'S SO GOOD.
>> BUT WHEN HE HE TELLS CALEB, GO GET THE GUNS AND
THROWS ONE TO BOTH BOYS,
AND THAT SCENE RIGHT THERE GETS ME EVERY TIME.
>> EVERY TIME.
>> BECAUSE THOSE TWO BOYS BECOME MEN RIGHT IN THAT MOMENT
AS HE TAKES THEM.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT SCENE I'M TALKING ABOUT?
>> YEAH, WE JUST WATCHED IT.
>> OH, MAN, IT'S SO POWERFUL.
>> IT IS POWERFUL.
>> AND THAT IS WHERE, LIKE, WHEN MASCULINITY IS
HANDED DOWN OR WHEN THE THE PRESSURES COMING ONTO
A FAMILY THROUGH WAR,
WHATEVER THAT IS, THAT PRESSURE'S COMING,
MEN WILL FOLLOW THE GUY
THAT SHOWS COURAGE AND COURAGE
ISN'T IGNORANCE OF FEAR.
IT'S HIGH-LEVEL AWARENESS, BUT SHOWING BRAVERY
IN THE FACE OF IT.
>> I DON'T WANT TO STAY --
I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT OF THE STORY YET.
>> NO, GO.
THIS IS INTERESTING.
>> SO YOU'RE IN THE BOOT CAMP AND YOU'RE
THE LEADER OF IT, BUT YOU'RE STILL STRUGGLING
WITH, I DON'T KNOW.
INSIDE YOU'RE WRESTLING.
>> IDENTITY.
>> YEAH, AND PURPOSE AND FULFILLMENT.
TELL US WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
SO IT WAS REALLY HARD BECAUSE I, YOU KNOW, MADE
SOME AMAZING RELATIONSHIPS WITH GUYS AND JUST
WONDERING LIKE, WHO AM I?
AND I HAD NO IDEA WHO I WAS.
I KNEW WHO I DIDN'T WANT TO BE.
AND I KEPT DOING THOSE THINGS.
LIKE AFTER THE MILITARY,
I'M LIKE, I'M NOT GOING TO USE GOD'S
NAME IN VAIN BECAUSE I WAS IRRITATED WITH HOW MUCH I WAS,
AND I'LL NEVER FORGET --
AND I DIDN'T KNOW GOD AT ALL.
I WAS LIKE, WHY AM I SAYING, WHY AM I CUSSING
HIS NAME SO MUCH?
>> THAT'S INTERESTING THAT YOU HAD LIKE THIS INTERNAL
REVERENCE WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THAT PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP YET.
>> YEAH, IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING.
LIKE, BECAUSE WHEN I WENT IN THE MILITARY, THEY
ASKED YOU LIKE, WHAT RELIGION DO YOU WANT
ON YOUR DOG TAGS?
AND I SAID, CHRISTIAN, BECAUSE I JUST REMEMBER
THINKING, I MEAN, I HAD A SPORTBIKE, A CROTCH ROCKET,
AND I HAD AN ITHACUS FISH ON THE BACK OF IT.
AND I LITERALLY BOUGHT IT IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE I'M
LIKE, MAN, IF I CRASH ON THIS THING, I NEED THAT.
LIKE, IF GOD'S REAL, I'M GONNA ASK HIM TO SAVE ME.
>> YEAH, I GOT THE FISH.
>> I GOT THIS FISH.
YEAH.
LIKE I NEED TO RUB THIS FISH AND BLOW,
AND THEN I'M SAVED.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING, BUT THEY ASKED,
LIKE, WHAT DO YOU WANT ON YOUR DOG TAG?
AND I SAID, CHRISTIAN.
AND I THINK SO MANY MEN THAT I'VE BEEN
IN CONVERSATION WITH, THEY ALL KNOW WHEN THE GOING
GETS REALLY, REALLY ROUGH, WHO GOD REALLY IS.
I WAS LIKE, I'M NOT GOING TO USE GOD'S NAME IN VAIN.
AND IT WAS SO MIND-BLOWING TO ME.
ABOUT THREE WEEKS LATER, I WAS USING HIS NAME IN VAIN,
MORE THAN I EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
AND I'M LIKE, WHAT IS HAPPENING?
AND I COULDN'T STOP IT.
SO YEAH, I WENT FROM THAT TO THROUGH MY TRAINING AND
MY SCHOOLING, AND IT WAS, YOU KNOW, TO BE A
NAVAL AIR CREWMAN.
THERE WAS AN INTERESTING PIPELINE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH.
AND THERE'S A LOT OF LIKE -- LIKE, NOW I'M MARRIED
WITH TWO KIDS.
I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME.
THEN YOU'RE 18 WITH NOTHING, LIKE NO RESPONSIBILITIES.
SO YOU HAVE A TON OF FREE TIME.
BUT THAT'S WHERE I FOUND MYSELF, JUST GOING INTO
THAT PARTYING LIFESTYLE AGAIN, BECAUSE THE GUY IS
LIKE, IF YOU'RE GONNA LEAD GUYS AND BE WITH LEADERS
AND YOU'RE GONNA, YOU'RE IN THE MILITARY, LIKE,
LET'S GO OUT AND PARTY.
>> AFTER, RIGHT.
>> YEAH, LET'S WORK HARD AND PLAY HARD.
>> EXACTLY.
>> AND THAT KIND OF BUILDS A CAMARADERIE.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW.
>> AND THAT'S WHAT WE DID.
SO SPRING BREAK 2004 CAME AND WE WERE,
ALL OF MY BUDDIES AND LIKE GUYS
THAT WERE GOING TO BE SPECIAL FORCES,
TO NAVAL AIR CREWMEN, TO RESCUE SWIMMERS,
WE ALL WENT DOWN TO PANAMA CITY FOR SPRING BREAK
AND PARTIED OUR GUTS OUT.
AND IT WAS THE ECHELON OF LIKE, WHAT YOU CAN DO AS A,
AS A MAN, REALLY IN OUR WORLD AT THAT TIME
AND NOW IN PARTYING, AND I HIT ROCK BOTTOM.
ONE OF MY BUDDIES, ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS,
GOT IN A FIGHT.
HE GOT JUMPED BY SIX GUYS, AND I WASN'T THERE WITH HIM.
I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT IT, BUT I WAS --
I WAS SO DRUNK IN OUR HOTEL ROOM,
I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING
IF I KNEW THAT WAS HAPPENING.
AND LIKE, THAT'S THE CORE OF WHAT I WANTED TO BE,
IS THAT PERSON THAT WOULD HELP PEOPLE IN TIME OF NEED.
AND I MEAN, HE GOT HE ALMOST GOT BEAT TO DEATH.
SO IT WAS REALLY A VIOLENT, YOU KNOW,
SIX GUYS AGAINST ONE.
THOSE ARE PRETTY ROUGH ODDS.
>> YEAH.
>> SO YOU DON'T TYPICALLY WIN THOSE UNLESS YOU'RE
IN AN ACTION MOVIE.
BUT IN REAL LIFE YOU DON'T WIN THOSE.
SO GOING AFTER THE HIGHS, I HIT ROCK BOTTOM.
AND I'LL NEVER FORGET THE MOMENT OF SEEKING,
IT WAS TUESDAY AFTERWARDS.
SO WE GOT BACK, WENT TO TRAINING ON MONDAY.
ON TUESDAY AFTERNOON I HAD A LITTLE WINDOW OF TIME
AND I WAS JUST THERE, LIKE, BROKEN.
AND I WENT INTO MY BARRACKS ROOM AND I OPENED
THIS BIBLE AND I GOT ON MY KNEES AND I HAD NO IDEA
THAT YOU GET ON YOUR KNEES.
IT WAS JUST LIKE, I'M FALLING IN SUBMISSION
IF YOU'RE --
>> AGAIN, THAT REVERENCE PIECE WAS JUST KIND OF
INSIDE OF YOU.
>> YEAH, LIKE NOBODY TOLD ME THIS IS WHAT YOU DO.
IT WAS THE REVERENCE.
AND I JUST, IT WAS THE MOST GENUINE CONVERSATION
I'VE EVER HAD OF, GOD,
IF YOU'RE REAL, I'LL LIVE FOR YOU AND I --
THIS IS MY CONVERSATION.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD AT PICKING FIGHTS,
NOT REALLY GREAT AT FINISHING THEM.
AND I'M HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH
THE KING OF KINGS.
SO THERE WAS NO, LIKE, ROMANS ROAD PRAYER HERE.
BUT IF YOU'RE REAL, I WILL TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT YOU
THAT I CAN.
AND WHEN I FINISH THAT PRAYER AND I, I TELL
PEOPLE LIKE IT WAS THE BEST HIGH I'VE EVER HAD
THROUGH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.
>> WOW.
>> I EXPERIENCED WHAT HEAVEN'S GOING TO BE LIKE SOMEDAY.
LIKE THAT MOMENT OF, OH, THERE'S NO NEED OF
ANYTHING ELSE.
YOU FEEL AMAZING.
SO I WAS JUST LIKE, I MET GOD.
I KNEW EVERYTHING HAD CHANGED, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
2 CORINTHIANS 5:17.
I KNEW EVERYTHING CHANGED IN
MY LIFE AND I RAN OVER,
IT'S CALLED, YOUR BATHROOM'S CALLED YOUR HEAD
IN THE NAVY, AND IT'S CALLED YOUR HEAD MATE.
I RAN OVER TO HIM AND I WAS LIKE, DUDE,
I JUST MET GOD.
AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE, YOU'RE CRAZY.
HIS RESPONSE WAS, YOU'RE PROBABLY STILL DRUNK.
AND I WAS LIKE, NO MAN.
LIKE, GOD JUST CHANGED EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE.
LIKE, I MET HIM.
LIKE, I HAVE NO IDEA.
>> AND HOW OLD ARE YOU AT THIS POINT?
>> 18.
>> SO YOU'RE STILL 18?
SO FRESH INTO THE MILITARY?
>> YEAH.
SO FRESH IN THE MILITARY.
AND IT WAS, IT WAS REALLY, REALLY COOL, MAN.
LIKE GOD CHANGED A LOT IN MY HEART AND LIKE ONE
MOMENT MADE ME NEW BUT DID NOT GIVE ME,
AND MY JOURNEY
AND WHAT WE'LL DIVE INTO MORE IS LIKE
THE WORK OF SANCTIFICATION.
SALVATION CHANGED ME.
>> RIGHT.
>> BUT I STILL HAD THE SAME HIPPOCAMPUS IN MY BRAIN,
OF ALL THOSE IMAGES AND ALL THOSE MEMORIES.
AND I STILL HAD MY PREFRONTAL CORTEX AND MY
FRONTAL LOBE AND I STILL HAD THE SAME BRAIN
FROM WHEN I LIVED IN SIN, SAME HEART,
SAME MUSCULOSKELETAL SYSTEM.
AND I HAD A LOT OF QUESTIONS AND A LOT OF
QUESTIONS OF, I WANT TO OBEY WHAT THIS WORD, THIS,
THIS BIBLE SAYS.
AND I HAD NO IDEA.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT HAD 66 BOOKS.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT OLD TESTAMENT AND NEW TESTAMENT WERE,
BUT I KNEW I WANTED TO LIVE OUT WHAT WAS IN THERE.
AND I HAD THIS BRAIN FIGHTING AGAINST IT CONSTANTLY,
BECAUSE I HAD, AT THAT POINT, I DIDN'T
KNOW BEFORE IT WAS A PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION, BUT
I WAS LIVING A LIFE OF JUST PURSUING LUST.
AND LIKE, I'M A ALPHA HETEROSEXUAL MALE THAT
LIKE, I'M THANKFUL GOD CREATED SEX.
BUT I HAD NO CONTAINMENT OF THAT AND NO
UNDERSTANDING OF HOW GOD CREATED IT, ACTUALLY.
AND AGAIN, TO EVERY LISTENER ON THE PLANET
THAT WILL EVER HEAR ANYTHING THAT I SAY,
GOD'S WAYS ARE TO BE CELEBRATED.
THEY ARE THE BEST, SEX INSIDE OF A RELATIONSHIP.
THAT IS A COVENANT BEFORE GOD THAT WORSHIPS HIM
WITH THAT SEX IS THE BEST SEX ON THE PLANET.
LIKE IT IS TO BE LIKE FOUGHT FOR, FIGHT FOR PURITY,
WIN THAT, AND THEN CONSTANTLY FIGHT FOR PURITY IN THAT
BECAUSE IT IS THE BEST SEX ON THE PLANET.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT AT THE TIME.
I JUST KNEW I WANTED TO FOLLOW GOD.
AND NOW I HAVE TO TRAIN MY BRAIN HOW TO THINK ABOUT SEX.
BUT I HAD TO DEAL WITH A PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION.
>> I REMEMBER WHEN I, I HAD A SIMILAR MOMENT WHEN
I CAME BACK TO THE LORD BECAUSE I HAD A HIATUS TOO,
BUT I HAD PREVIOUSLY GROWN UP INTO IT,
GROWN UP WITH THE LORD.
AND I REMEMBER I CRIED OUT, I WAS IN A BED, BUT I FELT
THE LORD'S PRESENCE COME INTO THE ROOM AND THAT
CHANGED AND MARKED MY LIFE FOREVER.
KIND OF LIKE YOU SAID, YOU'RE ALMOST FEELING LIKE
WHAT HEAVEN'S GOING TO BE LIKE FOR A SPLIT MOMENT.
AND I REMEMBER THINKING, AFTER COMING OUT OF THAT
EXPERIENCE, WOW, THIS IS GOING TO BE LIKE A DAILY THING.
THIS IS THE COOLEST THING EVER.
LIKE, I'M GOING TO FEEL GOD'S LOVE LIKE THIS TANGIBLY.
>> YEAH.
>> BUT I WENT UP TO A CHURCH TWO DAYS LATER AND GAVE MY
HEART TO THE LORD, LIKE, WALKED TO THE ALTAR.
AND THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT, MY IMMEDIATE NEXT THOUGHT
WAS, GOD, THERE'S A LOT OF PRETTY WOMEN IN HERE.
WHICH ONE'S FOR ME?
>> FOR SURE.
>> SO I WENT FROM SURRENDERING TO JESUS TO
STARTING TO FIGURE OUT, OKAY, YOU KNOW, WHAT'S
THE GAME?
>> HE'S GONNA HUNT.
>> YEAH, YEAH, IT'S A GREAT BATTLE.
>> I TOTALLY RELATE.
YEAH, YEAH.
AND IT TAKES TIME.
LIKE IT TOOK TIME TO, AFTER THAT, TO COME OUT OF
THE MINDSET AND, YOU KNOW, LIVING IN THE WAY OF
THE WORLD JUST DAILY.
>> YEP.
>> IT TAKES TIME OF RENEWING YOURSELF THROUGH
SCRIPTURE, THROUGH PRAYER, THROUGH FELLOWSHIP,
BEFORE YOU CAN KIND OF -- IT'S LIKE BUILDING A MUSCLE,
YOU KNOW, IT TAKES TIME TO GET STRONGER.
>> YEAH.
AND IT'S AN INTERESTING JOURNEY.
AND I GET, YOU KNOW, I GO THROUGH THAT, I GET SAVED,
I GO TO CHURCH AND I ASK GUYS ABOUT SOME OF THOSE
QUESTIONS OF, HEY, LIKE, I'M SAVED.
I WANT JESUS AND I WANT TO KNOW HIM.
BUT I'M ALSO, LIKE MASSIVELY INTERESTED IN WOMEN.
AND I ALSO HAVE A PROBLEM, LIKE, I DIDN'T KNOW TO PUT
LIKE A SUIT OF SHAME ON.
I WASN'T ASHAMED OF ANYTHING LIKE, GOLLY,
LIKE, WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO ABOUT THIS?
LIKE, ARE YOU HORNY ALL THE TIME?
AND THEY'D BE LIKE, OH, OH, THIS GUY, I'M LIKE,
I'M LIKE --
>> DO WE HAVE A PAMPHLET FOR THIS?
>> DO WE?
AND I JUST SAY ALL THE TIME, LIKE, I JUST HAD
THESE, THESE RATED R, RATED-X STRUGGLES AND ISSUES AND
GUYS WERE TALKING TO ME IN RATED-G LANGUAGE AND LIKE
EXPECTING ME TO LIVE A RATED G LIFE.
AND I WAS REALLY TAKEN BACK BY IT.
AND I JUST SAW THERE WAS A NEED FOR LIKE TRUE,
JUST LIKE THE PEOPLE THAT I HAD SEEN IN THAT SMALL
AREA OF FLORIDA, I WAS LIKE, OH, THERE'S A NEED
FOR LIKE UNDERSTANDING OF MASCULINITY BECAUSE IT
STARTED WITH ME.
I HAD NO IDEA.
SO I JUST TOOK THE BIBLE AND I READ IT COVER TO COVER
AND SAW WILD STORIES, LIKE ILLUSTRATIONS
EZEKIEL USED OF, LIKE --
>> THE BIBLE'S X-RATED.
>> WHOA! I'M LIKE, WOW, YOU USED THAT
AS A SERMON ILLUSTRATION, GOD?
LIKE I WAS SO PERPLEXED OF LIKE,
YOU ARE NOT AFRAID.
AND WHEN I REALIZED THAT GOD WAS GOING TO SIT WITH ME
IN MY X-RATED STRUGGLE AND MY X-RATED TEMPTATION
AND LOVE ME AS A TOTALLY PURE, THE GOD THAT CREATED
EVERYTHING, AND HE WAS GOING TO LEAD ME INTO
RIGHTEOUSNESS, WHICH I THINK FOR MEN IS IS A
RATED-R LIFE.
AND WE SEE THINGS, TALKING ABOUT GOING INTO WARS AND
BATTLE SCENES, AND DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO BE THOSE
RATED-R PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO
SEE CONSTANT RATED-R THINGS AS A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST
AND GOD'S LIKE, I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU THERE,
AND I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO BE PURE
IN THE FACE OF IT.
AND, MAN, IT CHANGED MY LIFE.
>> AND THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS THAT, YOU KNOW,
JUST GETTING TO KNOW YOU OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF HOURS,
IS HE WIRED YOU THAT WAY FOR A REASON?
>> YEAH.
>> BECAUSE HE INSTILLED IN YOU ALL OF THAT STRENGTH
AND THAT COURAGE WHICH IS ACTUALLY TATTOOED ON YOUR ARM.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
LET'S GO.
>> BECAUSE YOU WERE GONNA LEAD MEN OUT OF BONDAGE
BECAUSE IT'S REALLY BONDAGE WHEN YOU BREAK IT DOWN,
WHAT THOSE THINGS ARE, PORN, LUST.
IT'S THE ENEMY TRYING TO TAKE THE MAN OUT OF
HIS CALLING BY DISTRACTING HIM.
THE ENEMY WALKS THE EARTH LIKE A LION
SEEKING WHOM HE MAY DEVOUR.
>> YEAH.
>> IT'S NOT FLUFFY, YOU KNOW, CUDDLY STUFF HERE.
SO IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO BE TACTICAL
WITH HOW YOU TALK TO MEN,
AND YOU HAVE THAT GIFTING.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW, WALKING THE LIFE THAT YOU HAVE.
SO YOU'RE IN THE, YOU'RE IN THE MILITARY AND YOU HAVE --
>> I HAVE A QUESTION.
>> OH, YES, LOVE.
>> OKAY.
JUST HOPPING ON TO WHAT Y'ALL ARE SAYING,
SO TWO THINGS.
ONE, BECAUSE SIN HAS SO MUCH POWER WHEN IT'S IN
THE DARK AND THERE'S SHAME, BUT WHEN YOU SHINE
THE LIGHT ON IT, IT LOSES A LOT OF ITS STRONGHOLD.
HOW DID YOU NAVIGATE COMING FROM THIS LIFESTYLE
OF PARTYING TO PURITY?
>> YEAH.
>> HOW DID YOU GET FREEDOM?
>> WITH BOLDNESS.
LIKE I JUST SAID TO ANY GUY OUT THERE, LIKE ASKING
THAT QUESTION, IT'S BEING BOLD, LIKE I WAS BOLD AS A
SINNER, AND I'M BOLD AS A MAN OF GOD TO SAY, HEY,
LIKE, WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THIS?
AND I'D ASK THEM LIKE, GUYS, HELP ME, LIKE,
DON'T LEAVE A MAN BEHIND HERE.
LIKE, I'M STRUGGLING WITH THIS.
THIS CAN'T BE THE NORMALCY IN THE LIFE
OF A BELIEVER, CORRECT?
AND I JUST THINK YOU HAVE TO BE SO BOLD FOR WHAT YOU
BELIEVE TO SAY YOU DON'T WANT TO TOLERATE HEBREWS 12,
RIGHT,
LIKE WE'RE GOING TO HEBREWS 11.
WE'RE GOING TO THINK OF ALL OF THESE AMAZING
PEOPLE THAT HAVE GONE BEFORE US.
AND IN THAT CONTEXT, WE'RE GOING TO THINK OF THE ONES
THAT SUCCEEDED AND THE ONES THAT SAW, THAT WILL
SUCCEED SUCCESS LATER AND GOT TORTURED.
BUT HEBREWS 12 TALKS ABOUT WE NEED TO STRIP OFF EVERY
SINGLE WEIGHT THAT WE HAVE AND EVERY SIN.
SO I THINK THERE'S JUST THAT FREEDOM AND THAT
BOLDNESS TO SAY, HEY, I'M TRAINING FOR A 100-MILE RACE
AND I HAVE A 40-POUND BACKPACK ON.
DO YOU RUN WITH A 40-POUND BACKPACK, TOO?
BECAUSE THIS REALLY IS HURTING MY JOINTS.
AND YOU'RE LIKE, NO, BRO, YOU CAN TAKE THAT OFF.
OH, THAT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO RUN WITHOUT THIS
BACKPACK ON.
RUNNING IS STILL HARD, BUT IT'S NOW MORE DOABLE.
AND THE WAR FOR PURITY WHEN MEN ARE BOLD WITH
EACH OTHER,
BECAUSE THIS IS HOW IT GOES.
EVERY SINGLE TIME I'VE BEEN WITH A GUY THAT IS
CONFESSING TO ME A PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION,
LIKE THEY START TO WHISPER, HEY, MAN,
SO I'VE BEEN --
>> IT'S SHAME.
AND IT'S LIKE, HEY, I WANT TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS
THAT GOD CREATED YOU TO DELIGHT IN SEX,
LIKE GOD -- LIKE,
HERE'S THE MAGNIFICENT THING.
I UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSE OF MICROSOFT EXCEL,
BUT I'M GLAD GOD DIDN'T SAY
I'M GOING TO CREATE HUMANS, TO THEN
CREATE HUMANS WITH A MICROSOFT EXCEL DOCUMENT.
GOD LITERALLY SAID, I'M GOING TO MAKE THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL PART OF HUMANITY
START WITH AN ORGASM.
THAT WAS GOD'S INTENTION.
>> THAT'S PRETTY DOPE.
>> IT'S REALLY DOPE.
LIKE, WOW, GOD, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR DOING THAT.
AND IT'S NOT THE PERFECT EXCEL SHEET WITH THE
PERFECT FORMULA THAT EVERY MARRIED COUPLE HAS TO
FIGURE OUT.
IT IS -- IT STARTS WITH AN ORGASM AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL
AND IT'S MAGNIFICENT, AND THE ENEMY WANTS TO DESTROY THAT
AND MAKE GUYS NOT UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSE OF IT.
AND THEN HE WANTS TO CLOTHE THEM WITH SHAME
INSTEAD OF THE ARMOR WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WALK IN.
>> BECAUSE ONE THING THAT, ONE OF THOSE TACTICS THAT
IT CAN DO IS IT CAN GET GUYS AWAY FROM EVEN
WANTING TO BE MARRIED.
>> YEAH.
>> AND PURSUE LIKE, OH, I CAN
JUST GET ALL OF THIS OVER HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> WHY DO I NEED THE COVENANT OF MARRIAGE?
AND IT'S A PROBLEM BECAUSE THEN YOU'RE -- THE ENEMY
WANTS TO ULTIMATELY DESTROY FAMILIES.
>> YEP.
>> YEAH.
>> AND SO IT'S AN ATTACK ON MAN, BUT IT'S AN ATTACK ON
FAMILIES AND CREATION OF FAMILIES, WHICH IS WHY
IT'S SO IMPORTANT.
LIKE, I LIKE THAT POINT ABOUT FAMILIES STARTING
WITH AN ORGASM.
IT'S LIKE, THIS IS GOD'S DESIGN.
AND HE DESIGNED IT FOR THIS WAY, FOR A PURPOSE.
>> FOR A PURPOSE.
AND IT'S WONDERFUL.
LIKE, TASTE AND SEE THAT GOD IS GOOD.
LET'S START WITH EVERY MAN DEALING WITH A PORNOGRAPHY
ADDICTION, AND EVERY WOMAN,
LIKE I DEAL WITH A TON OF LIKE,
HEY, I STRUGGLE WITH THIS TOO.
IT'S A HUMAN BRAIN CONDITION AND SATAN LOVES
TO DESTROY HUMANS WITH SEXUAL DESTRUCTION AND
DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHTS TO SAY, NO, THIS IS ACTUALLY
GOD'S CREATION.
SO WHEN GUYS ARE LIKE, YEAH, I HAVE A PORN ADDICTION,
IT'S LIKE, BRO, YOU.
AND LIKE, LET'S READ THE RESEARCH.
LIKE 97% OF CHURCH-ATTENDING MEN ARE DEALING WITH
SOMETHING ON THIS LEVEL.
OH, COOL.
LIKE WELCOME TO BROTHERHOOD.
I'M GOING TO TEXT YOU, LIKE I'M GOING TO LOOK AT
YOUR PHONE AND YOUR HISTORY.
THERE'S FREEDOM HERE.
AND CHRIST GIVES YOU THE STRENGTH.
WE'RE GOING TO PRAY TOGETHER.
YOU'RE GOING TO EXPERIENCE THAT HEALING.
WE'RE GOING TO WALK THROUGH THIS.
BUT TAKE THAT 40-POUND BACKPACK OFF, MAN.
LIKE, LET'S RUN WITHOUT THAT.
IT'S REALLY GREAT.
YOU'RE STILL GOING TO HAVE TO RUN, BUT YOU'RE GOING
TO DO IT WITH A LOT LESS WEIGHT.
AND WITHOUT THE BONDAGE, WITHOUT SATAN, JUST LIKE
COMPLETELY WARRING TO DESTROY YOUR SOUL.
>> AND ONE OF THE SHAMELESS PLUGS
I'M GOING TO GIVE,
BEFORE THIS ONE IS A BOOK THAT CODY WROTE
CALLED21 DAYS TO FREEDOM FROM PORN,
THE DRAGON HUNT.
>> LOVE THAT NAME.
>> SO TELL US ABOUT THIS AND WHERE PEOPLE CAN GO
PURCHASE THEM, I'M SURE AT AMAZON.
>> THIS IS ON, THIS IS ON AMAZON.
AND THIS IS, THERE'S A WARNING ON THIS ONE.
THERE'S A WARNING LABEL ON ALL OF MY BOOKS.
BUT THIS ONE IS FOR MARRIED MEN ONLY.
IT IS --
IT CAME FROM MY FRUSTRATION WITH SEEING
THE ENEMY DESTROY MEN WITH PORNOGRAPHY.
BECAUSE I TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME, IF YOU'RE
DEALING WITH AN ADDICTION, IT'S A SPIRITUAL PROBLEM
AND IT'S A SPIRITUAL STRONGHOLD.
IT'S NOT A NEUROLOGICAL, LIKE THERE'S NO
NEUROLOGICAL SOLUTION FOR SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS.
AND WE HAVE A LOT OF THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH THAT'S
DEALING AND TRYING TO DEAL WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL OR
NEUROLOGICAL TO SOLVE SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS.
WE'RE BELIEVERS, LIKE, WE ARE SPIRIT BEINGS,
LIKE, THE ANSWER IS JESUS, AND HE WINS AND HE KNOCKS
THOSE STRONGHOLDS OFF.
BUT THAT BOOK, I HAD TO GO TO A DARKER PLACE
TO WRITE IT.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE THIS PRESENT DARKNESS
AND C.S. LEWIS'STHE SCREWTAPE LETTERS AND THE OATH,
WRITTEN TOGETHER IN 21 DAYS.
SO THIS DEMON, THE DRAGON, IS TRAINING THESE OTHER
DEMONS HOW TO DESTROY A MAN.
AND THEY'RE ACTUALLY IN ACTIVE PURSUIT OF
DESTROYING A MARRIED MAN WITH PORNOGRAPHY.
>> WOW.
>> AND THERE'S ANGELS TRYING TO HELP THIS MAN AND STOP HIM.
BUT IT GETS REALLY, REALLY REAL.
AND YOU NEED TO WALK THROUGH IT WITH OTHER GUYS.
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE, OH, YEAH, I'M A DUDE.
LIKE IN THE STORY,
THE GUY'S LIKE, HE'S HORNY, LAYS OVER TO HIS WIFE
AND TRIES TO LIKE, SHOOT HIS SHOT.
AND SHE'S LIKE, I'M JUST, I'M TIRED.
AND I MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THIS IS NOT A FEMALE/MALE.
THIS IS A SPIRITUAL ATTACK.
AND I HIGHLIGHT THE WOMAN IN IT BECAUSE I'M MARRIED
AND I LOVE MY WIFE SO MUCH,
AND THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS WE HAVE TO LEARN,
BUT I JUST ILLUMINATE HOW THE DEMON
OF DIVISION WILL ATTACK IN THAT PROCESS.
SO IT'S THIS REALLY DARK ATTACK.
AND THEN MY FAVORITE DAY IS DAY 21, BECAUSE THEN
THE KING STEPS IN AND WINS THE WAR.
BUT IT'S 21 DAYS.
IF GUYS GO THROUGH IT, THEY WILL EXPERIENCE
THE FREEDOM CHRIST HAS AND THEY'LL WALK THROUGH IT
WITH OTHER MEN.
BUT I JUST GOT FRUSTRATED TO SEE LIKE GUYS TRYING TO
BE NEUROLOGICAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL WITH
A SPIRITUAL ATTACK.
AND SATAN'S JUST STANDING OVER THEM LIKE
STRANGLEHOLD ON THEM, AND THEY'RE TRYING TO FIX IT
WITH THE NEXT BRENE BROWN BOOK OUT THERE.
IT'S LIKE, GUYS, THAT'S GREAT READING.
I LOVE BRENE BROWN, LIKE AWESOME.
BUT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT SATAN AND HIS DEMONS
ARE TRYING TO CHOKE YOUR LIFE OUT OF ANYTHING THAT
EMANATES CHRIST IN IT,
SO YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP AND THAT BOOK WAKES MEN UP.
>> THAT'S GOOD.
>> YEAH.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS I REMEMBER HEARING YOU TALK ABOUT
IS THERE'S USUALLY A DEEPER ROOT
TO PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY THAT IS?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND,
I HAVE A GRADUATE DEGREE.
I DON'T HAVE A PHD.
I NEVER WANT ONE.
WHAT I FOUND IN THE THE COMBAT OF THE MASCULINE SOUL --
SO I DO MOVIES, I LOVE MOVIES, I THINK IN TERMS
OF MOVIES A LOT.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES ACTUALLY, ISWONDER WOMAN.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES OF ANY MOVIE I'VE EVER
SEEN SPIRITUALLY IS HAVE YOU GUYS SEENWONDER WOMAN?
>> YEAH I HAVE.
>> SHE LOVES THAT MOVIE.
>> SO GOOD, SO GOOD.
OKAY, SO THERE'S A SCENE WHERE --
>> GAL GADOT, RIGHT?
>> YEAH. GAL GADOT, YEAH.
>> YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.
>> SO IT'S WORLD WAR I AND ALL THESE GUYS ARE IN
THE TRENCH AND THEY'RE EXPLAINING TO WONDER WOMAN,
WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR 13 MONTHS AND WE'VE ONLY,
WE'VE ONLY ADVANCED AN INCH.
AND I MEAN, LIKE, HOW DEMORALIZING WOULD THAT BE
AS A GROUP OF MEN?
AND SHE LISTENS TO THEM, KIND OF,
AND SHE PUTS HER ARMOR ON AND SHE'S JUST LISTENING
TO THEM AND LOOKING AT THEM, AND SHE GETS UP OUT
OF THAT RAVINE AND JUST SPRINTS AT THE ENEMY.
AND JUST LIKE ALL THE GUYS SEE HER COURAGE AND WHAT
SHE'S DOING AND JUST, LIKE, SPRINT AFTER HIM.
AND WHAT HAS TAKEN THEM AN INCH, 13 MONTHS TO GET AN INCH,
SHE JUST SPRINTS AND THEY TAKE THE ENEMY STRONGHOLD.
AND IT'S SO GREAT IN THE PICTURE OF WHAT THIS IS
AND PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTIONS AND STRONGHOLDS.
SAY, MAN, THE MOMENT YOU PUT ON THE ARMOR OF CHRIST
AND START RUNNING FORWARD, THAT LIKE YOU'LL,
YOU'LL TAKE THE HILL, THAT STRONGHOLD WILL BE NO MORE.
AND SATAN HATES THE REALITY OF THAT.
HE WANTS GUYS TO LAY IN THAT PIT THINKING IT'S,
YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE A LIFE OF INCHES OF
ADVANCEMENT, WHEN YOU COULD SUIT UP IN GOD'S STRENGTH
AND GO TAKE THE HILL.
AND WE JUST HAVE TO GET THERE FOR MEN, FOR WOMEN,
TO SAY, HEY, LET'S BE HONEST WITH THIS.
LIKE IT'S HARD.
LIKE AS A GUY, THERE'S A LOT OF TEMPTATION,
AND I'M NEVER IGNORANT TO IT BECAUSE WE READ ABOUT DAVID.
I'M 40.
DAVID SCREWED UP HIS ENTIRE LIFE AT 50.
SO IT'S BEING AWARE THAT, LIKE, YEAH.
>> BE SOBER AND VIGILANT LIKE PETER SAYS.
AND JUST STAY HUMBLE, LIKE YOU NEED GOD.
>> STAY HUMBLE.
YEAH.
LIKE THERE'S AN EXAMPLE IN THE BIBLE WHERE AN ANGEL KILLS
BY HIMSELF 185,000 PEOPLE.
>> YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
>> AND IT'S WHEN I BELIEVE IT'S WHEN HEZEKIAH IS
WAITING FOR GOD TO DELIVER THEM.
BUT WE HAVE DUDES THINKING THEY CAN JUST TAKE ON DEMONS
WITHOUT BEING CLOTHED IN CHRIST.
LIKE YOU WILL --
LIKE THE BOOK OF ACTS, YOU'LL GET BEAT NAKED
AND SENT OUT OF THE HOUSE, RUNNING WITHOUT
YOUR DIGNITY.
WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
AND THAT'S WHERE THAT BOOK COMES FROM,
THE DEMON HUNT.
THE DRAGON HUNT IS GETTING MEN TO UNDERSTAND
VICTORY IS POSSIBLE.
BUT WITH ANYTHING THAT WE GO THROUGH IN THIS LIFE,
VICTORY IS IMPOSSIBLE
IF YOU'RE NOT WALKING IN CHRIST.
AND WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE ACTUAL, LIKE BROTHERS OR SISTERS
IN CHRIST WITH YOU.
>> YEAH.
>> SO YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO LIKE, IF WE'RE, YOU KNOW,
GIRLFRIENDS WE'RE TALKING TO, YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT,
WHERE SATAN CAN DESTROY MY LIFE.
AND I GOT SICK OF IT WITH, LIKE, GOING TO MEN'S
MINISTRY EVENTS AND GOING TO, YOU KNOW, I'LL NEVER
FORGET A CONVERSATION I HAD WITH A GUY.
LIKE, I JUST ASKED HIM LIKE, DUDE, I WAS ON THE
SPEAKING CIRCUIT AT THE TIME.
SO MEN'S CONFERENCES, EVENTS, FOR THREE AND A HALF YEARS,
THAT'S WHAT I DID.
AND I WAS ASKING THIS DUDE, WE'RE IN THE GREEN ROOM.
AND LIKE, I WAS LIKE, SO LIKE, DO YOU STRUGGLE
WITH PORN WHEN YOU'RE TRAVELING?
NO, DUDE, I STRUGGLE MORE WITH LOOKING AT ESPN
THAN I DO PORN.
I REMEMBER THINKING, LIKE, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
LIKE, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.
LIKE, LET'S -- THAT'S NOT REAL.
AND THAT GUY ENDED UP HAVING A REALLY SERIOUS
PROBLEM WITH IT LATER.
AND I JUST THINK THERE HAS TO BE A CULTURE OF LIKE,
MAN, LET'S BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER.
>> AND VULNERABILITY.
>> TRANSPARENCY. YEAH.
BECAUSE THERE'S STRENGTH IN THAT.
>> YEAH.
>> LIKE IT'S HARD TO DO IT, BUT THERE'S
STRENGTH IN IT.
>> YEAH.
AND THE OLDER I GET LIKE, IF THERE'S A BAD GUY
COMING IN THIS ROOM, I'M LIKE, LET'S GO
FIGHT HIM TOGETHER.
LIKE I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW OFF TO ANYBODY.
YOU'RE STRONGER WITH MORE NUMBERS.
SO LIKE, DON'T FIGHT THE WORK OF THE ENEMY BY YOURSELF.
>> I LOVE THAT WE'RE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IN TODAY'S SOCIETY, I THINK
THERE IS, BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH DEMUSCULATION GOING ON,
>> YES.
>> OF MEN, THERE HAS BEEN A RISING UP OF MEN WANTING
MASCULINITY AND MASCULINE ROLE MODELS.
BUT THEN YOU HAVE THIS OFFSHOOT.
YOU'RE KIND OF HITTING THIS TOPIC WHERE IT'S LIKE
THERE COULD BE MASCULINITY WITHOUT CHRIST,
AND THAT'S GOING TO BE HARMFUL AS WELL.
AND SO YOU THINK ABOUT LIKE THE RED PILL MOVEMENT
AND THESE PEOPLE, I'LL JUST SAY NAMES LIKE
ANDREW TATE AND THEY'RE NOT GODLY AT ALL.
AND THEY'RE SAYING, SLEEP WITH AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU WANT.
AND, YOU KNOW, I THINK HE ACTUALLY PRODUCES PORN.
I THINK HE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THAT.
I DON'T FOLLOW HIM VERY CLOSELY, OBVIOUSLY.
BUT, YOU KNOW --
>> HE WAS SOMETHING LIKE HE WAS HAVING --
>> HUMAN TRAFFICKING.
>> YEAH.
AND HE WAS HAVING -- BUT GUYS WERE TEXT MESSAGING AS GIRLS.
>> YEAH.
>> ANYWAYS, SKETCHY GUY.
BUT, I MEAN, ALL THESE MEN WERE LOOKING UP TO HIM
BECAUSE HE WAS BEING VERY OUTSPOKEN.
AND YOU KNOW, HE WAS TALKING ABOUT MASCULINITY.
AND SO I THINK THERE IS A HUNGER IN MEN FOR THAT.
AND SO CONTRAST WORLDLY MASCULINITY
TO BIBLICAL MASCULINITY.
>> YEAH.
>> THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.
IT'S REALLY SIMPLE.
LIKE ONE LOOKS LIKE JESUS AND ONE DOESN'T.
AND JESUS IS THE PERFECT PICTURE OF MASCULINITY.
SO IF WE HAD A WHOLE BUNCH OF MEN THAT COULD WORK TO
WALK IN CHRIST'S STRENGTH TO LOOK LIKE JESUS,
WHO HAD RIGHTEOUS ANGER, I'M SURE HAD AN INCREDIBLE
SENSE OF HUMOR.
>> HE WAS FUNNY.
>> RIGHT.
I MEAN, LIKE --
>> AND HE WAS A BEAST.
I MEAN, HE WAS A CARPENTER.
SO THAT'S LIKE STRONG.
THOSE ARE STRONG HUMANS.
LIKE, HE JUST FASTED FOR 40 DAYS.
>> YEAH, THAT'S NUTS.
I STRUGGLE WITH THREE.
>> YEAH.
>> 72 HOURS IS BRUTAL.
>> 72 HOURS IS LONG, DUDE.
>> IT'S LONG.
AND HE JUST, YOU KNOW, HE JUST GOES 40 AND THEN
COMBATS WITH SATAN AT THE END OF IT.
AND, YOU KNOW, I MEAN JUST --
>> POWERFUL.
>> YEAH.
SO THAT IS THE PICTURE OF, LIKE YOU HEAR GUYS LIKE
JOCKO WILLINK, WHO I LOVE, I LOVE HIS PODCAST
AND TALK ABOUT WHAT MASCULINITY IS.
BUT IF YOU LEAVE JESUS OUT OF THAT, YOU ALWAYS ARE
FALLING INTO A CATEGORY OF TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF.
AND JESUS, WHEN YOU WALK WITH JESUS AS A MAN,
IT'S NOT HAVING TO PROVE YOURSELF.
IT'S BEING ABLE TO SIT METAPHORICALLY, JUST NAKED
WITH HIM AND HIM SAYING, YOU'RE MY SON.
LIKE YOU ARE ACCEPTED AND LOVED JUST AS YOU ARE.
SO YOU WORK FROM A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE WHERE
THE WORLD MASCULINITY, IT SAYS
YOU NEED TO DO THIS TO BE MASCULINE.
AND GOOD GRIEF, THAT'S BRUTAL.
BECAUSE THE MOMENT YOU OPEN UP SOCIAL MEDIA, IT'S
LIKE YOU HAVE ANDREW TATE TELLING YOU YOU HAVE TO
SLEEP WITH A THOUSAND WOMEN TO BE LIKE A TRUE MAN.
OR LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN OPEN IT UP REALLY FAST.
I'M A U.S. -- I WAS AN AIR CREWMAN, NAVY VETERAN,
BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN
YOU OPEN IT UP AND IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE ALL
THESE FORMER NAVY SEALS GOING THROUGH THESE PROGRAMS.
AND IF YOU WANT TO BE A MAN, YOU GOT TO GO THROUGH
THIS 50-HOUR CRUCIBLE, AND ALL THOSE ARE GOOD.
LIKE, I HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS THAT ARE THAT,
THAT PUT THOSE ON.
BUT IF YOU HAVE TO WORK TO PROVE YOURSELF AND IF
YOU'RE A MAN LISTENING, LIKE IF YOU'RE WORKING TO
PROVE YOURSELF, THAT'S NOT FROM GOD'S KINGDOM.
>> YEAH.
>> HIS KINGDOM IS SO FREEING OF I AM,
THEREFORE I DO.
IT'S NOT WHAT I DO IS THEREFORE WHO I AM.
AND, MAN, IT'S SO FREEING WHEN IT'S LIKE MY DAD
LOVES ME AND HE CREATED ME AND HE'S PROUD OF ME.
OKAY, COOL.
LET'S GO TAKE THAT HILL.
LIKE, LET'S LET'S GO DO WHAT JESUS
IN 1 JOHN 3:8, JESUS CAME TO DESTROY
THE WORK OF THE ENEMY.
THAT'S COOL.
LET'S DO THAT.
BUT LET'S NOT DO IT LIKE,
I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO IMPRESS YOU IN THE PROCESS.
I'M GOING TO DO IT FROM BROTHERHOOD AND FROM MY
ACCEPTANCE WITH CHRIST.
I'M GOING TO FAIL.
I'M GOING TO SAY THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE, AND I'M
GOING TO HAVE TO APOLOGIZE AND LIKE, I'M GONNA, I'M
GONNA GET SHORT AND I'M GONNA, YOU KNOW, LIKE --
BUT IF WE ARE WORKING IN CHRIST TOGETHER, YOU'RE
GOING TO KNOW THAT ALREADY.
HEY, BRO, I'M SORRY, I SCREWED UP.
THAT'S FINE.
DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
LIKE, DON'T BE STUPID, BUT THAT'S FINE.
LET'S KEEP GOING.
>> YEAH.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING IS THIS,
IF MEN COULD EMBRACE THAT IDENTITY OF SONSHIP AND
ACCEPTANCE IN JESUS, THEN THEY WOULD BE SO MUCH
HEALTHIER EMOTIONALLY AND THEY COULD GO OUT IN THAT
MASCULINITY, BUT HAVE THAT BALANCE OF BEING GROUNDED
IN HIM AND EVEN TALKING ABOUT IDENTITY,
WHEN JESUS WAS TEMPTED IN THE WILDERNESS,
IT WAS OVER HIS IDENTITY.
IT'S LIKE IF YOU REALLY ARE -- THE DEVIL IS TRYING
TO GET HIM TO PROVE HIMSELF.
AND HE WAS LIKE, I'M NOT FALLING INTO
THIS TRAP, YOU KNOW.
HE KNEW WHO HE WAS.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING, CODY, IS
LIKE, EVEN LISTENING TO YOUR TESTIMONY, LIKE, THE
THING THAT I'VE PICKED UP IS THAT THERE WAS A REAL
SENSE OF WANTING IDENTITY AND PURPOSE, AND YOU
FINDING THAT FINALLY, AFTER KIND OF TRAVELING,
AND FULFILLMENT, GOING DOWN ALL THESE DIFFERENT
ROADS, YOU FOUND AND YOU KEEP SPEAKING ABOUT
IDENTITY IN HIM AND ACCEPTANCE IN HIM.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE A
CHILD OF GOD AND HAVE THAT RELATIONSHIP WHERE YOU CAN
NOT ONLY BE VULNERABLE WITH THE LORD, BUT HAVE
THAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?
>> YEAH, I THINK IT'S EVERYTHING AND I'VE SEEN IT.
SO I WAS ON THE PROFESSIONAL SPEAKING
CIRCUIT, AND I CAN TELL YOU NAMES THAT
YOU CAN GOOGLE, THAT PEOPLE THAT ARE IN JAIL
THE REST OF THEIR LIVES,
ARE FALLING TO SEX AND MEETING UP WITH YOUNG KIDS.
AND I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE IN PROFESSIONAL MINISTRY.
YOU SEE SATAN DESTROY THESE LIVES.
GUYS I KNEW PERSONALLY WOULD SPEAK ON THE CIRCUIT WITH,
HAVING AFFAIRS WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN IN MULTIPLE CITIES
WHILE WE'RE SHARING THE SAME HOTEL ROOM AND
LIKE GOING DOWN TO THE LOBBY AND HOOKING UP.
AND YOU SEE IF THIS -- THIS IS THE HARDEST
THING IN THE WORLD TO SEE WHERE CHRISTIANITY,
BEING A GOOD CHRISTIAN, BECOMES YOUR STANDARD OF
ACCEPTANCE AND NOT WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST,
THEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE CONSTANTLY,
RATHER THAN TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF,
YOU'RE GOING TO BE HIDING THINGS
BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO THINK THAT THIS STANDARD
OF CHRISTIANITY IS WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO BE.
AND MAN, IF YOU EXPECT PERFECTION OUT OF ME,
I'M GOING TO LET YOU DOWN.
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.
IT'S GOING TO CAUSE SHAME IN ME,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO THINK LIKE, OH.
AND I THINK ONE OF THE WORST THINGS LIKE THAT
GUYS CAN DO IS FIND IDENTITY IN BEING LIKE
WITHOUT SIN, RIGHT?
>> THAT'S SO TRUE.
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S JUST SO GOOD TO HEAR.
>> I'VE SEEN THAT.
AND THAT IS A BIG OPENING TO TROUBLE.
>> IT'S A BIG OPENING TO TROUBLE.
SO WHEN YOU HEAR THAT AND YOU SEE THAT
YOU'RE LIKE, OH, THAT'S SO SCARY BECAUSE MY IDENTITY
IS A SON OF GOD, WHO LIKE, WHEN THAT IS --
I WROTE A DEVOTIONAL AND IT'S I ACTUALLY NEVER WROTE IT TO
BE A DEVOTIONAL, WHICH WAS REALLY FASCINATING.
YEAH,SOULCON 365.
IT'S LIKEJESUS CALLING, BUT FOR WARRIORS.
>> YEAH. FOR YOU.
>> BUT IT'S SO COOL
BECAUSE I NEVER WROTE IT TO BE A BOOK.
AND IF YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME, LIKE, HEY, WRITE A 300 --
IT'S ACTUALLY 366 DAYS IN IT, BUT IT'S NOT
AS MARKETABLE WITH 366 DAYS.
>> YEAH.
>> BUT I WOULD NEVER WANT TO DO IT.
BUT I WROTE IT TO HELP ME THROUGH A SEASON OF DEPRESSION
THAT I WENT THROUGH.
IT WAS ABOUT SEVEN AND A HALF MONTHS OF LIKE,
SUPER STRONG DEPRESSION.
>> WHEN WAS THAT IN YOUR LIFE?
>> OH, A YEAR AGO.
>> WOW.
>> SO LIKE FOLLOWING THE LORD AND ALL OF A SUDDEN --
>> DID IT JUST COME OUT OF NOWHERE?
>> NOWHERE.
AND IT WAS WILD.
IT WAS THIS NEW THORN IN MY FLESH THAT I HAD.
>> HOW DID YOU NAVIGATE THAT?
>> WHOA.
IT WAS REALLY TOUGH.
AND IT WAS REALLY TOUGH, WHERE ALL OF A SUDDEN I
WAS A GUY THAT WAS DEALING WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES.
>> DID YOU FEEL HOPELESS, LIKE THAT KIND OF DEPRESSION?
>> YEAH.
WELL, IT FELT LIKE I WAS ON A TREADMILL GOING
TEN MILES AN HOUR, AND THERE WAS NO HOPE
OF GETTING OFF OF IT.
AND NOBODY WAS LIKE, PAYING ATTENTION TO ME IN IT.
>> OH, NO.
>> AND IT WAS LIKE I WAS COMMUNICATING WITH PEOPLE.
BUT EVEN THOUGH, LIKE --
AND IT'S SO TRUE, IT BREAKS YOUR HEART WHEN YOU
TALK TO ANOTHER GUY AND BE LIKE, HEY, I'M ACTUALLY
REALLY STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
MOST GUYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.
THEY'RE LIKE, OH, ALL RIGHT, MAN, I'LL SEE YOU
AT SMALL GROUP THIS WEEKEND.
>> YEAH.
>> IT'S LIKE, PICKLEBALL LATER?
>> YEAH.
>> IT'S LIKE, OH.
OR THEY DO WHAT JOB'S FRIENDS DID AND THEY'RE
LIKE, YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.
LIKE YOU MUST --
OH, CODY FELL BACK INTO PORNOGRAPHY.
IT'S GOT HIM.
AND PEOPLE LOVE TO GOSSIP ABOUT PEOPLE THAT ARE
HONEST AND BOLD.
>> THEN THAT DISCOURAGES YOU FROM BEING HONEST AND BOLD?
>> IT DOES.
AND THANKFULLY, I'M JUST SO STUPID
I DON'T CARE ENOUGH.
SO IT'S REALLY A WEIRD THING OF LIKE,
SO I WOULD LITERALLY JUST SIT WITH THE PAIN
AND ASK DAD TO HEAL IT.
>> OH, THAT'S GOOD, THOUGH.
THAT'S A -- THAT'S HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT.
>> YEAH.
AND IT WAS REALLY -- SO THIS BOOK COMES FROM THAT.
I ACTUALLY HAD TO LEARN HOW TO HEAR FROM GOD WHEN
HE WASN'T SPEAKING TO ME.
I COULD FEEL HIS PRESENCE, BUT I DIDN'T HEAR HIM.
>> THAT'S POWERFUL.
>> AND SO WHAT THE LORD TOLD ME, AND THIS
IS REALLY AN INTERESTING THING FOR ME, IS THAT I
SAW THE HUMOR IN IT.
I LOVE THE LORD'S CONVERSATION.
HE HAD A CONVERSATION WITH ME ABOUT PAUL, AND HOW MUCH
PAUL LIKED TO SPEAK, AND SO MUCH SO,
A KID FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW AND DIED, AND HE
BROUGHT HIM BACK TO LIFE,
AND PAUL KEPT TEACHING.
AND THE LORD ASKED ME, DO YOU THINK WE'D HAVE THE
NEW TESTAMENT IF PAUL WASN'T IN PRISON?
I WAS LIKE, THAT'S A REALLY INTERESTING QUESTION.
LIKE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THIS THEOLOGICALLY?
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS, RIGHT.
BUT LIKE, I FELT LIKE IT WAS THE LORD ASKING THAT
TO SAY, PROBABLY NOT LIKE ABOUT TWO-THIRDS OF IT.
>> YEAH.
>> WHAT WOULD PAUL HAVE DONE?
HE WOULD HAVE SPOKE.
>> HE WAS TEACHING AND TRAVELING.
>> AND POURING INTO LIKE, THE PEOPLE.
>> AND THE LORD TAUGHT ME IN THAT TIME HOW TO DEAL
WITH SEASONS OF IMPRISONMENT OF YOUR SOUL,
WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN IT JUST LIKE, OH, IT CHANGED.
IT CHANGED MY LIFE TO SAY ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU GO
FROM LIKE, ROCKING AND ROLLING AND IT STILL LOOKS
LIKE YOU'RE ROCKING AND ROLLING ON THE OUTSIDE,
BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN THE IMPRISONMENT OF YOUR SOUL
HAPPENS WITH A NEW THORN IN YOUR FLESH.
SO I HAD TO WRITE AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT DOES A MAN
NEED TO KNOW IN THIS?
LIKE, WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW IN THIS?
>> RIGHT.
YOU'RE DOING IT FOR YOURSELF.
>> YEAH.
AND I HAVE 700, OVER 700 DEVOTIONALS.
I WAS WRITING THEM ON MY PHONE TO MYSELF.
>> I JUST READ TODAY'S AND IT ALREADY SPOKE TO ME,
SO THAT WAS SO COOL.
>> OSWALD CHAMBERS. HE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
>> I'D SAY, HOW'D YOU KNOW, BUT YOU WROTE IT.
>> YEAH.
SO, BUT IT'S SO COOL BECAUSE I'M LIKE,
I LOVE QUOTES, BUT IT STARTS WITH GOD
TALKING TO HIS SON.
SO I WAS PROPHETICALLY WRITING TO MYSELF AND I'D
ACTUALLY SAY IT OUT LOUD.
AND SO I'D WRITE THROUGH SOME OF THESE DEVOTIONALS
AS GOD TALKING TO ME, HIS SON.
AND THEN FROM THAT, THERE'S A SCRIPTURE
AND THERE'S A CHALLENGE, AND THEN A
WARRIOR PRAYER.
I'D HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF, HEY, YOU'RE A WARRIOR.
YOU DO WHAT'S RIGHT NO MATTER HOW YOU FEEL.
SO GET OUT AND GO DO IT.
>> KIND OF LIKE TELLING YOURSELF TO KIND OF KEEP
MOVING FORWARD REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL.
>> BUT YOU'RE NOT A WARRIOR IN GOD'S PRESENCE.
THIS IS THE THING THAT I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF
ALL THE TIME.
WHEN YOU CAN GO INTO GOD'S PRESENCE ON THIS EARTH --
THE STUDY OF GOD'S ARMOR IS FASCINATING.
IN GOD'S PRESENCE, WE DON'T NEED ARMOR,
AND I THINK A LOT OF MEN FORGET THAT.
WE CAN SIT WITH HIM NAKED AS POSSIBLE,
BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO LIKE FEAR WITH HIM.
WE HAVE THE HOLY REVERENCE OF FEAR OF GOD.
BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO BE SCARED OF WITH DAD.
WE CAN SIT WITH HIM AS VULNERABLE AS POSSIBLE.
WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE ALL OF THIS ARMOR TO GO FIGHT SATAN.
WE CAN SIT WITH HIM.
AND THAT'S WHAT CHANGED MY LIFE, IS WHEN I COULD SIT
WITH DAD AS SON, AND THEN MY PURPOSE ON THIS,
ON THIS EARTH IS TO BE A WARRIOR FOR HIS KINGDOM,
BUT NOT IN HIS PRESENCE.
BE A WARRIOR IN HIS KINGDOM.
SO I COULD SIT THERE AND I COULD CRY LIKE UGLY CRY OF
LIKE THIS HURT, MAN.
LIKE THIS HURT MY FEELINGS.
AND I'M ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M LIKE A DUDE
THAT DOESN'T CRY,
THAT IS NOW GOING THROUGH THIS.
I CRY ALL THE TIME.
LIKE, WHAT HAPPENED?
BUT I CAN SIT WITH DAD AND HE'S NOT GOING TO JUDGE ME.
AND THEN THERE'S A MOMENT WHERE TIME WITH DAD IS OVER.
NOW YOU STILL HAVE TO BE A MAN AND GO TAKE CARE OF
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
>> WAS THERE A MOMENT IN TIME WHERE YOU FELT LIKE
THE DEPRESSION BROKE OFF OR LIFTED,
OR WAS IT JUST OVER TIME?
>> GRADUAL?
>> YEAH.
THROUGH THE PROCESS OF REFINEMENT THE LORD WAS
DOING WITH YOU, IT JUST FADED.
>> YEAH.
IT'S LIKE ALL OF A SUDDEN IT KIND OF WENT AWAY, BUT
IT WILL COME BACK.
BUT I'M TELLING YOU, AS AN ACTOR, IT MAKES ME LIKE
TEN TIMES MORE POWERFUL AS AN ACTOR
BECAUSE I CAN CONNECT.
>> YOU CAN CONNECT TO IT.
>> YEAH.
AND, MAN, LIKE, I DIDN'T USED TO BE ABLE TO CONNECT
WITH PEOPLE EMPATHETICALLY THROUGH EMOTION, LIKE
MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN WITH THAT.
AND NOW I CAN SIT AND AN AUDITION AND, LIKE,
CONNECT WITH THAT CHARACTER AND JUST CRY
ABOUT WHAT HE'S FACING WITH.
AND IT'S LIKE, TOTAL ACTION.
>> THAT'S POWERFUL.
>> YEAH, IT'S POWERFUL.
LIKE, SO A REALLY COOL
PART OF BEING AN ACTOR.
I WROTE MY FIRST SCRIPT, WHICH GOD HAS PUT ON MY HEART.
I'M GOING TO SHOOT THIS THIS NEXT YEAR, WHICH IS
LIKE CRAZY ACTION MOVIE.
IT'S REALLY COOL.
BUT I WROTE THIS SCRIPT AS A FIRST.
I'VE WRITTEN EIGHT BOOKS, I'VE NEVER WRITTEN A SCRIPT,
AND THE LORD HELPED ME UNDERSTAND
THROUGH AN ENTIRE SCRIPT, WHICH IS REALLY FUN,
EVERYTHING IN THAT SCRIPT HAS A PURPOSE.
EVERY COFFEE CUP HAS A PURPOSE.
EVERYTHING IN EVERY SCENE HAS A PURPOSE TO TELL THE
STORY THAT THE WRITER WANTS
THE PERSON WATCHING THE MOVIE TO EMOTIONALLY EXPERIENCE.
LIKE300 CHANGED MY LIFE.
I WAS ACTIVE DUTY IN THE MILITARY.
WE WATCHED THAT THING ON A DEPLOYMENT.
>> WHAT MOVIE -- THAT CHANGED HIS LIFE.
EVERYONE'S LIKE, I WANT TO BE THAT.
>> MY GOSH, IT WAS SO CRAZY.
SO LIKE, WE WERE DEPLOYED.
WE WENT AND SAW THAT AND WE ENDED UP
IN THE GYM AT 10:30 P.M. AFTER WATCHING IT.
>> YEAH.
>> AND WORKING OUT.
AND IT'S LIKE, THAT WAS LIKE THE PICTURE OF LIKE,
I MEAN IT WAS REALLY COOL.
BUT I WOULD SAY, LIKE STORYTELLING IS ABOUT
EMOTIONALLY IMPACTING THE PERSON WATCHING IT.
THAT'S WHAT MOVIES ARE LIKE.
I WANT TO IMPACT YOU EMOTIONALLY TO MAKE A
PHYSICAL CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE.
SO THE LORD TOLD ME, ALLOWED ME TO SEE THAT
WITH MAKING MOVIES AND STORIES, AND TO MAKE ANY
GREAT STORY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE MOMENTS OF LIKE
REALLY HARD AND REALLY HARD PRESSING, WHERE IT
SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE, REALLY HIGH CONFLICT.
IT FEELS LIKE THE WHEELS ARE GOING TO FALL OFF.
BUT TO EMOTIONALLY CONNECT WITH HUMANS,
AND THIS IS WHAT GOD HAS ALLOWED ME TO SEE,
TO EMOTIONALLY CONNECT WITH PEOPLE, YOU HAVE TO WALK
THROUGH PAIN WITH THEM, AND A CHARACTER HAS TO
SHOW THAT PAIN ON FILM.
BUT WRITING A SCRIPT CHANGED MY LIFE
WITH THAT TOO, OF UNDERSTANDING, LIKE
SCENE 34 ISN'T THE END OF A MOVIE.
TYPICALLY IT'S LIKE SCENE, YOU KNOW, LIKE GET TO PAGE 100
AND THE MOVIE'S OVER.
BUT LIKE, JUST CONTINUE WATCHING THE MOVIE.
MOST MOVIES WOULD SUCK, ESPECIALLY ACTING,
ACTING, ACTION MOVIES,
IF YOU STOP LIKE 15 MINUTES INTO IT.
IT'S LIKE, OH, LIKE THE ROCKY SERIES IS REALLY LAME
IF YOU QUIT THERE.
>> YEAH, YOU HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY THROUGH,
WHICH I STILL HAVEN'T SHOWN YOU FOUR AND FIVE.
>> YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN ME ANY OF THEM.
>> YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OF THEM?
>> NO.
>> IT'S SO GOOD.
IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE THERE'S --
>> SUCH AN EDUCATION.
>> THEY'RE SO SACRED TO ME.
>> THEY'RE SO SACRED.
MY KIDS HAVEN'T SEEN THEM YET EITHER.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY.
IT'S LIKE YOU JUST --
>> IT'S GOTTA BE THE RIGHT MOMENT, RIGHT TIME.
>> YEAH.
WE'VE HAD KIDS --
>> IF YOU'RE LIKE, I DON'T LIKE IT,
YOU RUINED OUR SOUL.
>> YEAH, YEAH, I WOULD BE BROKEN FOREVER IF YOU
DIDN'T LIKE IT, BUT I HONESTLY THINK YOU WOULD.
YOU HAVE GOOD TASTE.
>> THANKS.
>> I WANTED TO ASK YOU --
>> IT'S LIKE A HUMBLEBRAG.
>> IT IS HUMBLEBRAG.
YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE.
>> THE BEST I'VE EVER SEEN.
>> WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THAT ACTING WAS SOMETHING
THAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN?
LIKE WHAT POINT IN YOUR CAREER,
YOU'RE IN THE MILITARY,
I'M ASSUMING, WHEN YOU MAKE THAT DECISION?
>> NO. SO I GOT OUT OF THE MILITARY AND I THOUGHT
I KNEW WHAT MY CALLING WAS, AND IT WAS REALLY INTERESTING.
I TRY TO TELL EVERYBODY AND I PLEAD WITH EVERYBODY
THAT WHO YOU ARE IS LIKE -- COMPLETELY WON'T CHANGE
IN YOUR LIFE.
LIKE WHO CHRIST HAS MADE ME IS A SON
THAT'S ACCEPTED AND ADOPTED INTO HIS FAMILY,
HE'S NEVER GOING TO TAKE MY ADOPTION AWAY FROM ME.
LIKE I HAVE FRIENDS THAT HAVE ADOPTED KIDS AND LIKE
THEY DON'T, GO TO YOUR ROOM OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO
LOSE YOUR ADOPTION IN THIS FAMILY.
LIKE GOD DOESN'T DO THAT TO US.
AND IT SET ME FREE TO SAY, OH, I CAN BE A SON,
AND IT MAKES ME --
WHEN I SCREW UP, I SPRINT TO DAD TO SIT WITH HIM
AND SAY, DAD, I NEED YOUR HELP.
I'M SORRY, LIKE I -- BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE AN
EXPECTATION ON ME TO BE PERFECT, YOU KNOW, LIKE,
HE'S LIKE, HEY, BE HOLY, RIGHT?
LIKE I'M HOLY, BUT I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE
TOOLS TO DO THAT.
AND I'M ALSO, YOU HAVE JESUS, THE EMPATHETIC
HIGH PRIEST, TO WALK THROUGH YOU WITH THAT.
I THINK THE MASCULINE SOUL JUST COMES TO LIFE
WHEN WE KNOW WE DON'T HAVE TO BE JESUS TO ANYBODY.
I MEAN, LIKE, WE CAN BE LIKE HIM AND SHOW THE LOVE
OF HIM TO PEOPLE.
BUT I'M STILL LIKE, AS A CHRISTIAN, I'VE BEEN A
CHRISTIAN SINCE I WAS 18, ON FIRE FOR THE LORD.
I'M STILL LEARNING TO LIKE PEOPLE.
I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE EVERYBODY.
>> YEAH, SAME HERE. I'M WITH YOU, BROTHER.
>> I APPRECIATE THAT VULNERABILITY, THOUGH.
AND IT GOES BACK TO JUST BEING VULNERABLE INSTEAD
OF TRYING TO PUT ON SOME KIND OF IMAGE THAT'S GOING
TO END UP CAUSING DAMAGE IN THE LONG RUN.
ANOTHER THING I WANTED TO HIT ON THAT I THINK IS
REALLY IMPORTANT, AND THIS IS WHAT COMES TO MIND
FOR LIKE BIBLICAL MASCULINITY IS MEEKNESS.
I THINK ABOUT LIKE MOSES, I THINK ABOUT JESUS,
AND IT'S HAVING STRENGTH, BUT IT'S STRENGTH THAT'S UNDER
SUBMISSION TO GOD AND CLOTHED IN HUMILITY.
AND, YOU KNOW, STRENGTH ISN'T JUST POPPING OFF OR,
YOU KNOW, GETTING INTO A FIGHT, BUT IT'S SAYING,
LIKE, EVEN WHEN SOMEONE WRONGS YOU, LIKE THINKING ABOUT
HOW JESUS WAS WRONGED, AND YET HE
HUMBLED HIMSELF TO THE POINT OF DEATH ON THE CROSS.
>> YEAH.
>> AND I THINK THAT REAL BIBLICAL MASCULINITY
IS NOT EMBRACING THAT STRENGTH, BUT SUBMITTING
THAT STRENGTH TO GOD.
>> YEAH.
WHICH IS SO COOL.
AND I ANSWER BOTH QUESTIONS AT THE SAME TIME.
SO WHERE DID I, MY CALL TO ACTING COME FROM?
AND THAT MEEKNESS, IT'S UNDERSTANDING LIKE THE
WORD PICTURE OF MEEKNESS IS THAT BRIDLED WAR HORSE,
TO SAY LIKE, JESUS HAS THE CONTROL OF US, A WAR HORSE,
LIKE, BUT HE ALWAYS CAN TURN IT ANYTIME HE WANTS TO.
AND WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST IS DAUGHTER AND SON, AND
THAT SHOULD MEAN EVERYTHING TO US ALWAYS.
BUT WHAT HE CALLS US TO DO IS GOING TO CHANGE, AND
THERE'S GOING TO BE DIFFERENT TIMES WHERE IT'S
LIKE, SPEAKER, YOU'RE GOING TO GO INTO
THE CORPORATE WORLD.
LIKE, FOR ME, I WAS, YOU KNOW, TOP SECRET
IN THE MILITARY.
THEN I DID WORK IN THE CORPORATE WORLD, AND I
WAS, YOU KNOW, CORPORATE WORLD AND FULL-TIME STUDENT
AND FINISHED THROUGH MY GRADUATE DEGREE
AND WRITING A BOOK AND TWO LITTLE KIDS.
SO HE MET ME, AND I KIND OF DEFIED THE ODDS
OF IMPOSSIBLE.
ALL MY BOOKS ARE SELF-PUBLISHED, AND I HAD A BIG OFFER
FROM ONE OF THE SECOND BIGGEST CHRISTIAN
PUBLISHER IN THE WORLD, AND HE READSOULCON,
ACTUALLY WROTE ABOUT IT IN HIS MAGAZINE.
THATSOULCON CHALLENGE CHANGED HIS LIFE
AND CAME TO ME.
SO THAT WAS -- AND CAME TO ME AND SAID, HEY, I WANT TO
PUBLISH IT, BUT I NEED YOU TO MAKE IT FOR MEN AND WOMEN.
AND HE WAS A GREAT DUDE.
HE'S JUST, HE'S LIKE, BUT BOOKS TO MEN DON'T SELL.
>> I LOVE THAT IT WAS, WARNING FOR MEN ONLY.
>> I KNOW.
>> THAT'S THE BEST PART.
>> WHICH IS SO COOL.
>> MEN NEED SOMETHING FOR THEM.
>> THEY DO.
AND I WAS WRESTLING WITH HIM WITH THIS OF LIKE,
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
>> IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME.
>> IT'S NOT GONNA BE THE SAME.
AND HE SAID, I WON'T, I WON'T DO IT BECAUSE JUST
THE DATA HAS TO GO.
BUT HE SAID, YOUR BOOK CHANGED MY LIFE.
AND HE WROTE ABOUT IT IN HIS MAGAZINE.
AND I, YOU KNOW, I JUST HAD TO, FOR ME, I HAD TO
REALLY GO DOWN A JOURNEY OF, AS A SPEAKER,
WHEN I STEPPED INTO THAT, GOD CALLED ME TO WRITE A BOOK
TO MEN AND THEN SPEAK TO MEN, WHICH WAS
A DYING INDUSTRY, LIKE MEN'S MINISTRY
AND MEN'S SPEAKERS.
IT'S USUALLY A PASTOR THAT DOES IT ON THE SIDE,
WHICH IS AMAZING.
BUT GOD WAS CALLING ME INTO FULL-TIME
MEN'S MINISTRY WORK AND WRITE A BOOK TO MEN.
AND I LITERALLY, MY FIRST DAY OF THAT FAMILY, FRIENDS,
ALL OF MY MARKETING CAMPAIGNS,
I SOLD 17 COPIES AND I THINK 15 AT LEAST
WERE FAMILY MEMBERS.
I WAS DEVASTATED.
IT TOOK ME FIVE AND A HALF YEARS TO WRITE IT,
>> I WAS, I WAS DEVASTATED AND I WENT,
I LITERALLY CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP.
AND I WOKE UP AND I SAID, DAD, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
HE SAID, JUST KEEP GOING.
>> YEP.
>> AND I MEAN, LIKE I STARTED MY SPEAKING CAREER,
I'D DRIVE FIVE HOURS AND THERE'D BE THREE GUYS
WAITING TO HEAR ME SPEAK, AND I'D SPEAK TO THOSE
THREE GUYS AS FAITHFULLY AS I COULD,
AND I'D START TO SEE IT.
AND SIX MONTHS LATER, I SPOKE AT A CONFERENCE WITH
3,500 PEOPLE, AND I HAD A VIDEO GO VIRAL,
AND THAT BOOK TOOK OFF.
>> WOW.
>> AND THE WHOLE SERIES JUST LIKE TOOK OFF IN
IMPACTING AND CHANGING HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS
OF LIVES AND FAMILIES.
BUT I THINK WHEN GOD CALLS US TO SOMETHING, HE
CALLS US TO BE AND THEN TO DO
IN THE AREA THAT WE'RE IN.
AND IT WAS MEN'S MINISTRY AND I STARTED TO SEE IT
REALLY SUCCEED.
AND THEN I WAS ON VACATION WITH MY FAMILY, AND I WAS
WALKING, AND I FELT A GUST OF WIND HIT MY CHEST AND
THERE WAS NO WIND.
AND I'M LIKE, THAT WAS REALLY WEIRD.
AND I WAS LIKE, LORD, ARE YOU TRYING TO TALK TO ME?
LIKE THERE WAS NO AIR CONDITIONING GUST HERE.
IT WAS REALLY EARLY IN THE MORNING.
I WAS GOING TO LIFT BEFORE THE DAY AT THE BEACH
AND HE CALLS ME OUT.
HE SAYS, HEY, WILL YOU FOLLOW ME INTO THE DEPTH
OF THE OCEAN?
I WAS LIKE, THAT'S A TERRIFYING ASK.
LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU --
YOU ALREADY CALLED ME TO MEN'S MINISTRY.
LIKE, WE BUILT IT AND ESTABLISHED IT.
I'M DOING IT FULL TIME.
LIKE, WHAT'S MORE DEPTH OF THE OCEAN --
IT TOOK ME 20 MINUTES.
I SAT DOWN AND I HAVE A PICTURE EXACTLY WHERE I WAS AT.
TOOK ME 20 MINUTES, AND HE CALLED ME FROM THAT POINT
TO BE A FILMMAKER AND AN ACTOR.
>> AND SO THAT'S WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
>> HOW OLD WERE YOU THERE OR WHEN WAS THAT?
>> SO THAT WAS, OOOH, A GOOD QUESTION.
2017.
>> OKAY.
>> SO THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN EIGHT YEARS AGO.
>> YEAH.
>> 2018 MAYBE.
SO WE ANSWERED THAT CALL AND I WRESTLED WITH
THE LORD ON IT.
LIKE I THOUGHT ACTORS WERE SISSIES.
IT'S LIKE THEY DON'T REAL FIGHT.
LIKE I'M I'M NOT -- LIKE I'M NOT A SISSY, GOD.
LIKE, YEAH, COME ON.
>> YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY.
>> LIKE PEOPLE WHO GET INTO ACTING, THEY WANT TO
DO ACTING.
AND YOU WEREN'T SEEKING FOR THAT.
>> NO.
>> SO, LIKE, THERE WAS A WRESTLING THERE.
>> THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO ASK THE QUESTION.
>> I'M GLAD YOU DID
BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING YOU DID.
>> I WAS TERRIFIED TO TELL MY WIFE, LIKE,
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
YOU'VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT ACTING ONCE.
>> AND ALL OF A SUDDEN.
>> WHAT DID YOUR WIFE SAY?
>> YOU ALREADY HAVE KIDS AT THAT AGE.
SO YOU'RE LIKE, HEY, I'M GOING TO BECOME AN ACTOR.
>> YEAH. AND SHE'S LIKE, LET'S DO IT.
>> OH, THAT'S A GOOD SPOUSE.
>> I WAS LIKE, YOU'RE CRAZY.
THIS IS WHERE LIKE YOU FIGHT ME AND YOU SAY NO.
>> YEAH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO
SO I GO BACK TO GOD AND NEGOTIATE.
>> BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, WHY AN ACTOR,
IF I'M CALLED TO COMMUNICATE?
AND THE LORD JUST ALLOWED ME TO SEE THAT HOW MOVIES
COMMUNICATE TO THE MASCULINE SOUL.
>> OH, TOTALLY.
>> TOTALLY.
>> THE BEST CONTENT FOR ME, I THINK.
I SHOW HER THAT ALL THE TIME.
>> GOD'S SPOKEN TO ME SO DEEPLY THROUGH MOVIES.
>> SO MUCH.
>> YOU'RE THE RIGHT ONES THERE.
AND THERE'S, YOU KNOW, THERE'S --
>> THERE'S SO MANY GOOD ONES, BUT IT'S SUCH AN
IMPACTFUL WAY TO CHANGE AND IMPACT EMOTIONS, RIGHT?
LIKE AS A SPEAKER, THE BEST THING THAT I CAN DO
TECHNICALLY ON A STAGE IS TO GET YOU TO EMOTIONALLY
THINK ABOUT SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE.
THE BEST MOVIE MAKES YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF
IN THAT SCENE.
>> TOTALLY.
>> SO IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU GET LOST IN IT, RIGHT?
LIKE, MY ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS MADE THE MOVIE
WITH KURT WARNER, SO ANDY ERWIN DIRECTED IT.
I LOVE ANDY, AMERICAN UNDERDOG, OH, SO GOOD.
IF YOU GUYS HAVEN'T SEEN IT, IT'S SO GOOD.
SO HE'S THE DIRECTOR.
HE OWNS KINGDOM STORY.
HE'S THE DIRECTOR OF I CAN ONLY IMAGINE .
I CAN ONLY IMAGINE TWO THAT'S COMING OUT.
UNBELIEVABLE.
BUT YOU WATCH THAT STORY OF KURT WARNER, YOU GUYS GOTTA
WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT.
I JUST LIKE, I'M JUST CRYING WATCHING IT.
HE HAS THIS DREAM AND NOW HE'S WORKING
IN A GROCERY STORE AND LIKE OVERLOOKED.
AND HE'S CAN'T PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY.
AND THEN LIKE HE WINS THE SUPER BOWL AND HE'S IN
THE NFL HALL OF FAME.
IT'S A COOL STORY TO SAY LIKE, HEY, WHEN GOD CALLS
YOU AND LEADS YOU.
YOU GUYS GOTTA WATCH IT.
>> I JUST CLOCKED IN MY MIND.
SO YOU'RE SAYING AS GOD LEADS YOU?
>> YEAH.
LIKE YOU'RE GONNA, YOU'RE GONNA, THE BEST --
IF YOUR LIFE DOESN'T HAVE MOMENTS LIKE THAT AND YOU
DON'T HAVE THOSE STRETCHES OF GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?
I'D BE REALLY NERVOUS BECAUSE GOD PREPARES
THOSE HEARTS THROUGH --
LIKE, IF YOU HAVE A DESTINY THAT'S GOING TO
IMPACT PEOPLE IN A CALLING,
YOU'RE GOING TO GO THROUGH THOSE TIMES WHERE ALL OF A
SUDDEN YOUR SOUL FEELS IMPRISONED BY
LIKE, I WANT TO QUIT.
LIKE, I THINK THAT CONVERSATION WITH JESUS
AND PETER AND ALL THE APOSTLES WAS MORE LIKE,
WHERE ELSE WOULD WE GO?
LIKE, HE'S LIKE, YOU GUYS WANT TO LEAVE, TOO?
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT WAS LIKE, LIKE STARRY-EYED,
JESUS, WHERE ELSE WOULD WE GO?
YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S JUST LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING
ME, MAN?
WE'VE BURNED EVERYTHING ELSE.
I DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE ELSE TO GO.
OF COURSE I'M GONNA FOLLOW YOU.
>> YEAH.
>> I'VE BEEN THERE MULTIPLE TIMES IN
FOLLOWING JESUS.
IF, LIKE, IF I COULD QUIT, I WOULD.
BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD.
AND THIS IS SO HARD.
SO THAT'S WHAT I REALIZED WITH ACTING, OF HIM
CALLING ME INTO THAT,
AND THAT'S HOW IT STARTED.
>> ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SONGS RIGHT NOW TALKS ABOUT
OUR BACKUP PLAN IS TO GET BACK UP AGAIN.
>> THAT'S THE ONLY BACKUP PLAN YOU NEED.
>> THAT'S SO COOL.
>> YEAH, IT IS.
>> SO IT'S LIKE OUR FAMILY ANTHEM RIGHT NOW.
EVEN MY BOYS LOVE IT, TOO.
>> THEY DO.
>> THAT'S SO COOL.
>> IT'S IMPORTANT AS BELIEVERS THAT, YEAH,
YOU HAVE TO GET BACK UP BECAUSE THE LORD IS
REFINING US.
AND THOSE HARDSHIPS, LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE, THE
DEPRESSION, IF WE JUST TAKE THAT EXAMPLE, THAT WAS
ALLOWED TO TAKE PLACE WITH YOU BECAUSE HE WAS
REFINING YOU AND BIRTHING SOMETHING NEW THAT WOULD
TOUCH MANY LIVES.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I ENCOURAGE REBECCA ALL
THE TIME AND MYSELF, IS THAT HE ALLOWS THESE
THINGS TO TAKE PLACE OR TO HAPPEN,
THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, NOT BECAUSE HE'S OUT TO GET US
OR HE'S TAKING HIS EYE OFF THE BALL,
HE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION.
IT'S BECAUSE HE'S REFINING US AND PREPARING US FOR
MINISTRY OR WHATEVER IT IS, LIFE.
AND YOU HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THAT.
>> AND YOU HAVE TO TRUST HIM IN THE MIDST OF IT
AND NOT GIVE UP HOPE.
>> AND THE OLDER I GET, THE MORE I RELATE WITH
JACOB THAN DAVID.
LIKE I USED TO THINK LIKE ROCK KAZAKH, SEND ME INTO
THE BATTLEFIELD, LIKE I'M STRONG AND COURAGEOUS
AND LIKE I FEEL MORE LIKE JACOB, LIKE EXACTLY
WHAT YOU GUYS ARE SAYING IS SO HARD OF WHEN GOD'S
LIKE, HEY, YOU FAILED, GET BACK UP.
IT'S LIKE, NO, I FAILED.
I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT EVER AGAIN.
THAT HURT REALLY BAD.
AND GOD'S LIKE, YEAH, GET BACK UP.
>> I STILL HAVE A PURPOSE FOR YOU.
AND SOMETIMES HE'LL CALL YOU TO THE SAME THING, BUT
HE'S GOING TO CALL YOU TO LIKE, HEY, THAT WAS
LEARNING FOR YOU.
AND THAT WAS INTENDED.
OR MAYBE IT WAS JUST TOTALLY STUPID, BUT HE'S A
GOOD, GOOD FATHER TO US.
LIKE HE'S GOING TO TAKE YOU IN AND HE'S LIKE,
I'M GONNA --
SO I STILL HAVE THAT DESTINY FOR YOU.
LET'S GO DO IT.
THIS TIME, DO IT FULLY WITH ME AND NOT BY YOURSELF.
AND THAT --
OH, THAT IS BRUTAL.
LIKE WHEN YOUR BACKUP PLAN IS GETTING BACK UP AGAIN,
>> RIGHT.
>> BUT ONE OF MY LIFE VERSES, AND IT'S ENGRAVED
ON MY IPAD, THAT'S LIKE FROM 2014 OR SOMETHING,
SO I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THAT IPAD STILL EXISTS,
BUT GOD WORKS ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR
THOSE WHO ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSES.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW, AND JUST REMINDING MYSELF.
>> YEAH, IT'S GOOD.
IT'S A GOOD REMINDER.
>> WE'RE CALLED.
I'M CALLED.
I KNOW THAT MY IDENTITY IS IN HIM AND HE'S GOING TO
WORK EVERYTHING TOGETHER FOR GOOD, NOT BY MY MIGHT,
NOR BY POWER, BUT BY HIS.
>> YEAH.
>> SO WE'RE GOING TO LINK ALL OF THESE BOOKS BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO HAVE TO LIKE
SCROLL BACK AND FORTH, BUT WE'LL LINK THEM
ALL IN THE DESCRIPTION.
BUT THIS ONE IS A BREAKDOWN,
SOULCON WARRIOR ELITE.
SO IS THIS --
>> IT'S A SEQUEL TO SOULCON CHALLENGE.
SO IT'S THE NEXT SIX WEEKS.
>> SO IT'S A SIX WEEKS CHALLENGE.
AND THEN THIS IS ANOTHER SIX WEEKS.
>> YEAH.
AND IT'S COOL BECAUSE BEFORE EVEN ACTING I WROTE IT
MORE LIKE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH LIKE A MOVIE.
SO YOU SHOW UP TO THIS FICTIONAL TRAINING CAMP
WITH ALL THESE GUYS, AND YOU GET TO KNOW THEM
THROUGH THE PROCESS.
THERE'S DAILY CHALLENGES.
THAT SEQUEL, THEY COME BACK OUT
AND YOU GET TO KNOW THEM MORE.
SO GUYS THAT WERE STRUGGLING HAVE HAD SUCCESS.
SOME GUYS FAILED AND YOU GET TO SEE
AUTHENTIC BROTHERHOOD.
SO IT'S TAKING YOU ON A JOURNEY WHILE
GIVING YOU THINGS LIKE MAX PUSH-UPS DAY,
48-HOUR FAST DAY IN THAT ONE,
WHICH IS LIKE MOST GUYS READ IT AND
THEY'RE LIKE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME, 48 HOURS?
>> THAT'S MY SWEET SPOT RIGHT THERE.
>> YEAH.
IT'S LIKE ONCE YOU CROSS OVER INTO THE 72,
YOU'RE HURTING REALLY BAD.
BUT 42 IS NOT NOT SUPER BAD.
>> WHAT I FIND ABOUT FASTING, BUT I HEAR THE
LORD LIKE ON THE -- AFTER THE 24TH HOUR.
>> YEAH. IT'S COOL.
>> IT'S COOL.
>> IT'S REALLY COOL.
>> LIKE WHEN YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY AND
YOU'RE JUST SIPPING ON WATER OR ELECTROLYTES,
YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF NOISE THAT GOES,
AND YOUR COMMUNION WITH GOD IS JUST SHARPER.
>> YEAH.
>> AND YOU KNOW, HE SPEAKS QUICKLY.
>> YEAH.
AND IT'S REALLY, REALLY GOOD FOR GUYS
TO REMIND LIKE, HEY, MASCULINITY,
CHRISTIANITY COMES DOWN TO LIKE
LISTENING AND OBEYING.
SO IF YOU'RE NOT SPENDING TIME SEEKING GOD TO LISTEN
TO HIS VOICE, THEN YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE LIKE,
FOR ME, IT'S HIM CALLING ME TO BE AN ACTOR,
MY PHONE WAS OFF THAT WHOLE VACATION, NOT EVEN
TURNED ON, LIKE I WAS COMPLETELY DISCONNECTED
FROM EVERYTHING DIGITALLY.
>> GOOD FOR YOU.
>> AND I COULD HEAR HIM REALLY CLEARLY.
>> RIGHT.
>> AND THAT'S SUPER IMPORTANT IN OUR LIVES TO SAY, MAN,
YES, LISTEN TO GOD'S WORD, SPEAK HIS WORD OUT LOUD.
BUT HE'S GOING TO GIVE YOU SPECIFIC ASSIGNMENTS THAT
ARE CUSTOM TO YOUR DNA AND YOUR FAMILY'S DNA THAT YOU
CANNOT ACCOMPLISH AND OBEY UNLESS YOU HEAR HIS VOICE.
SO THAT'S WHAT ALL THOSE BOOKS ARE, IS THEY GET TO
THE BOTTOM OF THAT.
>> LOVE IT.
WE GO ON QUARTERLY MARRIAGE RETREATS, REBECCA AND I,
>> THAT'S COOL.
>> WE PUT OUR PHONE AWAY.
JUST TO HAVE THESE CONVERSATIONS
WITHOUT ANY, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE WITH THREE KIDS
AND WORK AND ALL THE THINGS.
>> ESPECIALLY LITTLE KIDS.
>> IT'S HARD TO SIT DOWN AND GET THE AMOUNT OF TIME
YOU NEED TO GO DEEP ON SUBJECTS AND MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING IS ALIGNED.
>> YEAH, IT'S REALLY GOOD.
>> WELL, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING WITH US TODAY.
>> YEAH, THANKS FOR HAVING ME, GUYS.
>> REALLY A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU.
AND GREAT TO GET TO KNOW YOU MORE.
>> YEAH. LOOK FORWARD TO IT.
>> WE'LL LINK ALL THOSE BOOKS.
I'M EXCITED TO GO THROUGH THEM MYSELF.
>> YEAH, I'M EXCITED FOR YOU, TOO.
AND YEAH, I JUST WANT TO ECHO WHAT HE'S SAYING.
THANK YOU SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
AND I'M EXCITED TO CHECK THESE FILMS OUT AS WELL.
>> AND WE'LL DO A QUICK PUSH-UP CHALLENGE OFF CAMERA
WHEN WE STOP ROLLING.
>> YEAH. I'M IN.
>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
♪♪