Is your marriage on the rocks?
Do you find you and your spouse constantly arguing
and bickering?
Do even the smallest issues seem to blow up
into major disputes?
Many silently suffer in a marriage fraught with
conflict and pain.
You might be one of them.
You might feel it's hopeless, there's nothing that
can be done.
Well, before you give up, keep listening.
What if you have a decent marriage?
What if you and your spouse get along,
but you sense you could be closer.
If you'd like a breakthrough, then this program is
for you, too.
What if you describe your marriage as close
and fulfilling?
Could it be better?
I think we'd all agree even great marriages,
between flawed people, can always improve.
What if you're not married, will never marry, or have
zero interest in marriage?
Well, if that's the case, don't turn off this program yet.
Because believe it or not, what we're going to cover
still applies to you.
The issue of marriage is something that
concerns all of us.
No matter what time of life we're in, regardless of our
age or the state of our marriage, or even if we're
not married at all.
Why is that?
We'll discover that on today's Tomorrow's World.
But before we do, be sure to get a pen and paper,
because later in the program I'll give you an opportunity
to order your free copy of the study guide
God's Plan for Happy Marriage.
So, join me today on Tomorrow's World.
As we learn, "How to Build a Better Marriage."
I'll be right back.
♪
Welcome to Tomorrow's World, where we help you make sense
of your world, through the pages of the Bible.
Marriage is in crisis.
Never it seems has it been so misunderstood, misapplied,
and even ridiculed.
The institution itself is going through a dramatic
transformation before our eyes, in the modern world.
Consider what the website "ourworldindata.org"
has to say:
"Within the last decades the institution of marriage has
changed more than in the thousands of years before...
The proportion of people who are getting married is going
down in many countries across the world."
And truly, when we look at the drop in marriage rates
all over the world, it is a shocking and disturbing trend.
And extremely worrisome, because marriage is one
of the basic building blocks of society.
But where did marriage come from?
Some see marriage as a man-made construct--
something that our ancestors millions of years ago
figured would be a good idea.
You know, the picture of marriage beginning when a
caveman dragged his chosen female mate back to his
cave to be his wife.
And the rest is history.
But is that how marriage began?
No, the truth is, marriage was invented by God Himself.
We find that in Genesis 2:20...
"So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of
the air, and to every beast of the field.
But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam,
and he slept; and He took one of his ribs,
and closed up the flesh in its place.
Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man
He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man."
These were the first humans, not some imaginary
Neanderthals dragging their mates around by the hair.
And marriage was designed to create a bond of trust and
loyalty between a man and a woman who've committed
their lives to each other.
It thrives in a state of godly character, honesty,
and transparency.
And it was intended to become the launching pad for children
who grow up learning respect and decency from their parents.
Imagine a society where thousands and even millions
of family units are built on this type of stable
and solid foundation.
Think about the far-reaching positive benefits for
society at large.
Mature, well-adjusted, and honest adults who function
dependably in the workplace and in the community.
And where did they learn these traits?
In a godly Christian home, from parents who had built
a strong marriage together.
You see, everything starts in the home.
And the home environment is built on marriage.
And marriage was established by God.
So, if you want to build a better marriage yourself,
you've got to start at the beginning.
And that beginning is our first key today:
1. Acknowledge that marriage comes from God.
This might seem like a simple point.
But it actually has far-reaching consequences.
If we acknowledge that God is the author of marriage,
that means He can define what it is.
No, it's not any arrangement of two people who love each other,
however love is defined.
It's not a man in a union with another man, or a
woman with another woman.
No, God defines marriage as a special covenant,
for life, between a man and a woman.
Acknowledging that marriage comes from God also defines
what constitutes appropriate behavior in that relationship.
Just as God created marriage, God created sex.
And God designed sex to be exclusively limited to a
man and wife within the marriage relationship.
Notice what Jesus said in Matthew 5:31-32...
"It has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife,
let him give her a certificate of divorce.'
But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife
for any reason except sexual immorality causes
her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a
woman who is divorced commits adultery."
The phrase "sexual immorality" comes from the Greek
root word, "pornea."
"Pornea" would include repeated adultery,
a lifestyle of being unfaithful.
And "pornea"--from which we get the word "pornography"--
could also certainly include an addiction to pornography if one
is resistant to giving it up.
You see, acknowledging that God created marriage
changes everything.
It means that we look to Him to know how to conduct
our lives, even in our closest relationship.
It means we even seek His perspective on divorce.
As Malachi 2:16 notes...
"'For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce,
for it covers one's garment with violence.'
Says the LORD of hosts.
'Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do
not deal treacherously.'"
God hates divorce because He knows how much damage
it does to the family.
And He wants to help us avoid that.
So, if you want to build a better marriage,
you've got to know where to start.
Whether you're in a troubled marriage or whether your
marriage is generally happy but could be better,
we have a map for making improvements.
And it all starts with acknowledging God
as the Creator.
He designed it.
He knows how to make it work best.
Before going on, let me offer you our free study guide,
God's Plan for Happy Marriage.
In it, the late Roderick Meredith writes, in the
chapter "Build a God- Centered Marriage,"
"As you come to know that very real God, you will
increasingly understand that He really does know
what is best for you and for every area of your life,
certainly including your marriage."
This practical yet profound booklet will open your eyes
to the steps you can take to build or even rebuild
your marriage.
You need this booklet.
It's free of charge, we want to send it to you.
So just write, call, or click today.
Order now.
♪
For today's free offer call...
Or go to...
This clear and straight- forward resource will
help you understand this vital truth--
straight from the pages of the Bible.
If you're calling for the first time,
you will also receive a free annual subscription to
Tomorrow's World magazine.
Six inspiring issues discussing news, science,
and modern culture will help you make sense of
your world from a biblical perspective.
Call today and join millions around the world
who are turning to Tomorrow's World for
truth, prophecy, and hope in these confusing times.
Call now!
Or go to...
♪
Welcome back.
In the previous portion of this program, we saw that
acknowledging God is the first key towards building
a better marriage.
What's the next key?
2. Commit to Your Spouse.
There was a time, even in the recent past,
when marriage, was assumed to be for life.
Where did that idea come from?
Well, from the Bible.
Romans 7:2 says...
"For the woman who has a husband is bound by
the law to her husband as long as he lives.
But if the husband dies, she is released from the
law of her husband."
You see, this wasn't a man-made idea.
God defined marriage as a life-long commitment.
A sacred covenant.
When Jesus was on this earth, the Jews asked Him about
marriage--specifically about divorce.
Notice His response in Mark 10:6-9...
"From the beginning of the creation, God 'made them
male and female.'
'For this reason a man shall leave his father
and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh,'...
Therefore what God has joined together,
let not man separate."
But today, we see very different expectations.
The mentality, all too often, is "I'll love you as long
as you love me."
Or, "I'll stay with you as long as my needs are met."
Some seek to be free of a marriage if they feel
they no longer love the person they married.
But can you see the flaws in each of these mindsets?
They're setting a limit on the commitment they're
willing to make.
Now, before going on any further, let me explain:
Christ did say that there are times when a marriage
relationship had been broken beyond repair.
The damage is done and is very difficult to be undone.
As noted already, one of those times is when a partner
has fallen into a lifestyle of sexual immorality
and is unrepentant.
That's a valid reason for divorce.
Another example is found in the writings
of the apostle Paul.
He's talking to Christians who are married to unbelievers,
and he says, in 1 Corinthians 7:15...
"But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart;
a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.
But God has called us to peace."
In other words, there are times when the other
person has made it clear that he or she no longer
intends to fulfill the marriage contract.
Even with time, and counseling, and perseverance of the
committed partner, the other person's done.
Maybe they abandon their mate.
Or, perhaps they are terribly abusive.
At times such as this, as Paul explains,
it is appropriate to dissolve the marriage.
But truthfully, in our day, too many marriages are wrecked
simply because two people just can't get along.
In many cases it could be salvaged--and even improved--
with a little more patience and perseverance.
There was a fascinating study conducted in the
United Kingdom that was referred to by the
Marriage Foundation, in February 2017.
The Marriage Foundation is an organization in Britain that
advocates for policies that support marriage and the family.
Here is what they found:
"It is widely presumed that 'staying together in an
unhappy marriage' condemns couples to a life of misery."
This is the common assumption, but the study found that
in most cases, that's simply not true.
The study followed a group of 10,000 parents with
newborn children, focusing on a small subset of that
group who described their marriages as "unhappy."
What was the result of the study?
"Of this small minority, 30% split up within ten years.
Of those who stayed together, two thirds reported that
they were now happy and only 7% still unhappy."
Did you catch that?
In other words, even if you're struggling in your marriage,
even if you feel unhappy, don't give up.
Sometimes you'll go through a time of high stress
and difficulty.
The solution is generally not to bail out, but to
work on it together, learn what you can learn,
and try to figure out what you may be doing wrong, personally.
And to persevere.
In most cases, it will get better.
Which brings us back to the point of this section:
Commit to Your Spouse.
If we go into marriage with a Plan B, so to speak--
if divorce is an option if things get too hard--then
it's more likely that some day we'll take that option.
On the other hand, if we go into marriage with the mindset,
"I am committed to this marriage until death.
I will do everything I possibly can to make it work.
Even if times get rough, I'm not going to see divorce
as an escape hatch."
That will change our perspective dramatically.
When we hit the storms of life, we're going to pull out
all the stops to make it work.
We're going to redouble our efforts.
We're going to seek counseling.
We're going to humble ourselves and try to
figure it out, together.
My wife and I were blessed to have parents with intact
marriages, who were faithful to each other for decades.
They gave us good examples.
But we also have many friends who were not
blessed in the same way.
Yet I know, some of our friends, in their own marriages,
have made it a specific and determined goal to not follow
the same path as their parents.
They don't want divorce to even be an option.
Again, please understand.
God is not condoning you staying in a relationship
that is physically abusive or where your partner has
no intention of fulfilling his or her responsibilities.
But in our experience, many people split up
when they could have made it work.
With a little more persistence.
A little more patience.
And a little more commitment.
I know what I'm saying is not easy.
Even a good marriage will be tested.
We're all human.
We all make mistakes.
We say and do things we ought not.
But we've got to understand, we're living in a generation
that undermines the importance of commitment.
It's a sign of our times.
Commitment is so important in our relationships.
Not just marriage, but all of our relationships.
And lack of commitment to treat one another with integrity
and respect is one thing that is tearing society apart.
Notice what the Apostle Paul prophesied in 2 Timothy 3:1-4...
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,
boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents,
unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers,
without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
traitors, headstrong, haughty lovers of pleasure
rather than lovers of God...."
What Paul is describing is a world where people's greatest
commitment is to themselves; satisfying the self.
And that describes our world today, all too often.
So, we have to work that much harder to learn to
be committed to our mate.
Again, there's much more to say on this topic,
but I want to pause to give you an opportunity to order
our free study guide God's Plan for Happy Marriage.
In it, Dr. Roderick Meredith explains,
"One of the traditional marriage ceremonies includes
the expression, 'till death to us part.'
Although many young people today disdain this notion,
it is absolutely vital that every marriage be built
on this understanding."
There's much more in this enlightening and
encouraging resource.
If you want help in building your marriage, don't delay.
Order it today.
Call, write or order online.
We'll send it to you free of charge.
Order now.
♪
This clear and straight- forward resource
will help you understand this vital truth--
straight from the pages of the Bible.
Call now!
Or go to...
♪
Welcome back.
In the last segment of the program we talked
about the importance of commitment.
And this brings us to the next key:
3. Give 100%.
In a traditional Western culture wedding, the father
gives the bride away.
And it's a touching moment when he walks the young woman
he's raised down the aisle, as she enters a new phase of
her life with her husband to be.
The bond between a father and a daughter is very special.
And it's a pivotal moment when he "gives her away."
But too many people don't understand that after the
wedding, they now need to "give themselves away."
As a husband or wife, they need to go into marriage
not with a selfish mindset, but rather with an attitude
of giving 100% to their mate.
Notice Paul's statement, quoting Jesus, in Acts 20:35...
"And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said,
'It is more blessed to give than to receive'."
When we understand this, and apply it, it creates a powerful
dynamic that can revitalize even a troubled marriage.
Even a marriage that has hit a rough patch.
This is an antidote:
Marriage is about giving 100%-- not demanding our own needs.
Some have described marriage as a 50/50 proposition.
If you give 50%, and your mate gives 50%, you'll meet
in the middle.
But in actual practice, this doesn't work.
What happens in a 50/50 relationship?
Well, we both give up to a certain point, and then we stop.
And we expect the other person to meet us.
That's the problem with a 50/50 marriage.
It's like two people standing on two ends of an unfinished
bridge spanning a river.
The two people are standing on the edges,
looking into the gulf between them, wondering
why the other person isn't doing more.
And all the while, the chasm between them seems
to loom larger and larger.
Does this ever describe your experience?
Let me present a better model.
That is, each person giving 100%.
That means, I'm giving 100% no matter what my mate does.
I'm going to give even when I don't feel like it,
and even if for the moment I feel the other person
doesn't deserve it.
The apostle Paul explained this in Ephesians 5:33...
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love
his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that
she respects her husband."
Paul doesn't say:
"Husbands, love your wife if she loves you back."
And yet, all too often, that's how we husbands act.
If we don't feel loved, why should we sacrifice more?
If she is being cutting or critical, why should I try
to be patient and loving?
But that's wrong thinking.
Rather, we are to do what Paul said.
We are to love our wife, period.
Especially when she isn't especially loveable.
That's the time when our love is tested.
And frankly, that's when our wife needs our patience
and love the most.
And if you're willing to do that, if you're
willing to cherish and treasure her, and make
sure she knows you think she's important.
Not mocking or belittling or talking down to her
because of her emotions.
If you're willing to do that, you may be surprised at how
your relationship can be revitalized and even deepen.
What about you wives?
Have you noticed the same thing?
Paul doesn't say,
"Wives, respect your husband if he is fulfilling your needs
at that exact moment."
And yet, all too often, that's how wives can react as well.
If you don't feel loved, you may think, why should
I respect him?
He's not being very kind to me, why should I try
to be supportive of him?
But that's wrong thinking as well.
Rather, you are to also do what Paul said.
Respect your husband, period.
Especially when he is out of sorts.
That's the time when your patience is tested.
And that's when he needs your respect and your
support the most.
Men want to be respected, not made to feel stupid
or incompetent.
And if you'll do your best to show your husband respect,
and persevere in that, you also may be surprised to see
how his care and love for you will grow and flourish.
This dynamic is explained by the author and marriage
counselor Emerson Eggerichs.
As he explains it:
"Often, we focus on our own needs and simply overlook the
needs of the other person.
The wife needs love; she is not trying to be disrespectful.
The husband needs respect; he is not trying to be unloving.
Once you grasp this basic principle--that the 'issue'
is not the real issue at all-- you are on your way to cracking
the communication code."
It's straight from the Scripture--right out of
the book of Ephesians.
So try it.
Test it.
You might be surprised at the results.
Again, let me pause to offer you this powerful study guide
that can help you make your marriage better.
It's entitled, God's Plan for Happy Marriage.
In it, Dr. Roderick Meredith explains the importance
of "heartfelt communication," "marriage means giving,"
and notes how important it is to "learn to forgive."
Your marriage is the most important relationship
in your life.
Isn't it worth the time to think about and study how
to make it work better?
You need this resource.
Just call, click or write today, for
God's Plan for Happy Marriage.
Order now.
♪
For today's free offer call...
Or go to...
This clear and straight- forward resource will
help you understand this vital truth--
straight from the pages of the Bible.
If you're calling for the first time,
you will also receive a free annual subscription to
Tomorrow's World magazine.
Six inspiring issues discussing news, science,
and modern culture will help you make sense of
your world from a biblical perspective.
Call today and join millions around the world
who are turning to Tomorrow's World for
truth, prophecy, and hope in these confusing times.
Call now!
Or go to...
♪
We've covered three vital keys to building
a better marriage.
Of course, these most apply to someone married.
But as I said at the beginning, today's program is for the
unmarried as well.
So, what do I mean?
In the final segment of our program, I'll answer
that question.
And that brings us to our final key, that is:
4. The Church Will Marry Christ.
Let's go back to Ephesians to see this.
As Paul was giving instructions to husbands and wives,
he explained the overall purpose of marriage.
Notice Ephesians 5:32...
"This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning
Christ and the church."
You see, marriage was not only designed to create stable and
solid relationships in the home.
It actually serves as a model for us to understand our
relationship with Christ.
It's God's purpose that we, as faithful servants of God,
can become part of the Bride of Christ,
to marry Him at His return.
This is explained in Revelation 19:7...
"'Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife
has made herself ready.'
And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen,
clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts
of the saints."
Marriage is not just about having good families in
the here and now.
It serves as a roadmap for us to fulfill our destiny
to be in God's Kingdom and to marry Christ.
God created marriage.
And not just as a physical institution but as a reflection
of our relationship with our Savior.
We must make a commitment to Him as our living, loving God.
And we must give our lives completely to God and Christ
in humble obedience.
But not only that, if we're faithful Christians in this age,
we will have the chance to help rule the nations under Christ,
in the Millennium.
At that time, countless millions of men and women
will need to be taught how to live godly, fulfilling lives.
The survivors of the Tribulation and the Day of the LORD,
who live on into that glorious time as human beings, will
learn, many for the first time, to really love one another.
And to love their spouse.
Better, stronger marriages will be the hallmark of the
Millennial reign of Christ.
And you and I can be there to assist Christ
in making it happen.
Thank you for watching.
And don't forget to order your free copy of our study guide,
God's Plan for Happy Marriage.
And be sure to join us next time, as Gerald Weston,
Wallace Smith, and I explain the Good news of
Tomorrow's World, and the truth, comfort and hope
it can bring to you and your family.
See you next time.
♪
For today's free offer call...
Or go to...
Call today and join millions around the world who are
turning to Tomorrow's World for truth, prophecy, and hope
in these confusing times.
The preceding program is produced by the
Living Church of God.
♪