WEBVTT

00:00.000 --> 00:02.635
Is your marriage on the rocks?

00:02.702 --> 00:05.772
Do you find you and your
spouse constantly arguing

00:05.839 --> 00:07.207
and bickering?

00:07.273 --> 00:09.609
Do even the smallest
issues seem to blow up

00:09.676 --> 00:12.011
into major disputes?

00:12.078 --> 00:15.048
Many silently suffer in
a marriage fraught with

00:15.115 --> 00:16.416
conflict and pain.

00:16.483 --> 00:18.051
You might be one of them.

00:18.118 --> 00:20.487
You might feel it's hopeless, there's nothing that

00:20.553 --> 00:21.888
can be done.

00:21.955 --> 00:24.657
Well, before you give
up, keep listening.

00:24.724 --> 00:26.459
What if you have
a decent marriage?

00:26.526 --> 00:28.428
What if you and your
spouse get along,

00:28.495 --> 00:31.231
but you sense you
could be closer.

00:31.297 --> 00:34.601
If you'd like a breakthrough, then this program is

00:34.667 --> 00:36.069
for you, too.

00:36.136 --> 00:38.905
What if you describe
your marriage as close

00:38.972 --> 00:40.540
and fulfilling?

00:40.607 --> 00:42.142
Could it be better?

00:42.208 --> 00:44.577
I think we'd all agree
even great marriages,

00:44.644 --> 00:48.848
between flawed people,
can always improve.

00:48.915 --> 00:52.085
What if you're not married,
will never marry, or have

00:52.152 --> 00:54.487
zero interest in marriage?

00:54.554 --> 00:57.690
Well, if that's the case, don't turn off this program yet.

00:57.757 --> 01:00.660
Because believe it or not,
what we're going to cover

01:00.727 --> 01:02.962
still applies to you.

01:03.029 --> 01:05.198
The issue of marriage
is something that

01:05.265 --> 01:06.833
concerns all of us.

01:06.900 --> 01:09.803
No matter what time of life we're in, regardless of our

01:09.869 --> 01:12.405
age or the state of our marriage, or even if we're

01:12.472 --> 01:14.207
not married at all.

01:14.274 --> 01:16.042
Why is that?

01:16.109 --> 01:18.912
We'll discover that on
today's <i>Tomorrow's World</i>.

01:18.978 --> 01:21.614
But before we do, be sure
to get a pen and paper,

01:21.681 --> 01:24.751
because later in the program I'll give you an opportunity

01:24.818 --> 01:27.253
to order your free copy
of the study guide

01:27.320 --> 01:29.989
<i>God's Plan for Happy Marriage</i>.

01:30.056 --> 01:32.692
So, join me today on
<i>Tomorrow's World</i>.

01:32.759 --> 01:36.696
As we learn, "How to Build
a Better Marriage."

01:36.763 --> 01:38.298
I'll be right back.

01:38.364 --> 01:44.671
♪

01:44.737 --> 01:47.841
Welcome to <i>Tomorrow's World</i>, where we help you make sense

01:47.907 --> 01:51.077
of your world, through
the pages of the Bible.

01:51.144 --> 01:53.613
Marriage is in crisis.

01:53.680 --> 01:57.650
Never it seems has it been
so misunderstood, misapplied,

01:57.717 --> 01:59.319
and even ridiculed.

01:59.385 --> 02:02.522
The institution itself is
going through a dramatic

02:02.589 --> 02:06.493
transformation before our
eyes, in the modern world.

02:06.559 --> 02:10.096
Consider what the website "<i>ourworldindata.org</i>"

02:10.163 --> 02:11.364
has to say:

02:11.431 --> 02:14.567
"Within the last decades the institution of marriage has

02:14.634 --> 02:18.204
changed more than in the thousands of years before...

02:18.271 --> 02:21.641
The proportion of people who
are getting married is going

02:21.708 --> 02:24.677
down in many countries
across the world."

02:24.744 --> 02:27.981
And truly, when we look at
the drop in marriage rates

02:28.047 --> 02:31.951
all over the world, it is a shocking and disturbing trend.

02:32.018 --> 02:35.655
And extremely worrisome,
because marriage is one

02:35.722 --> 02:38.691
of the basic building
blocks of society.

02:38.758 --> 02:41.327
But where did
marriage come from?

02:41.394 --> 02:44.430
Some see marriage as
a man-made construct--

02:44.497 --> 02:47.133
something that our ancestors millions of years ago

02:47.200 --> 02:49.168
figured would be a good idea.

02:49.235 --> 02:51.671
You know, the picture of
marriage beginning when a

02:51.738 --> 02:55.074
caveman dragged his chosen
female mate back to his

02:55.141 --> 02:56.643
cave to be his wife.

02:56.709 --> 02:58.411
And the rest is history.

02:58.478 --> 03:01.147
But is that how marriage began?

03:01.214 --> 03:06.319
No, the truth is, marriage
was invented by God Himself.

03:06.386 --> 03:09.722
We find that in
Genesis 2:20...

03:09.789 --> 03:12.792
"So Adam gave names to all
cattle, to the birds of

03:12.859 --> 03:15.695
the air, and to every
beast of the field.

03:15.762 --> 03:19.832
But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

03:19.899 --> 03:23.970
And the LORD God caused a
deep sleep to fall on Adam,

03:24.037 --> 03:26.372
and he slept; and He
took one of his ribs,

03:26.439 --> 03:29.208
and closed up the
flesh in its place.

03:29.275 --> 03:32.178
Then the rib which the LORD
God had taken from man

03:32.245 --> 03:36.015
He made into a woman, and
He brought her to the man."

03:36.082 --> 03:38.985
These were the first humans,
not some imaginary

03:39.052 --> 03:42.689
Neanderthals dragging their mates around by the hair.

03:42.755 --> 03:46.626
And marriage was designed to create a bond of trust and

03:46.693 --> 03:49.762
loyalty between a man and
a woman who've committed

03:49.829 --> 03:51.564
their lives to each other.

03:51.631 --> 03:55.034
It thrives in a state of
godly character, honesty,

03:55.101 --> 03:56.836
and transparency.

03:56.903 --> 03:59.572
And it was intended to become the launching pad for children

03:59.639 --> 04:04.243
who grow up learning respect and decency from their parents.

04:04.310 --> 04:08.581
Imagine a society where
thousands and even millions

04:08.648 --> 04:11.884
of family units are built
on this type of stable

04:11.951 --> 04:13.786
and solid foundation.

04:13.853 --> 04:17.223
Think about the far-reaching positive benefits for

04:17.290 --> 04:18.891
society at large.

04:18.958 --> 04:22.495
Mature, well-adjusted, and
honest adults who function

04:22.562 --> 04:26.165
dependably in the workplace
and in the community.

04:26.232 --> 04:28.334
And where did they
learn these traits?

04:28.401 --> 04:32.038
In a godly Christian home,
from parents who had built

04:32.105 --> 04:34.140
a strong marriage together.

04:34.207 --> 04:36.876
You see, everything
starts in the home.

04:36.943 --> 04:39.612
And the home environment
is built on marriage.

04:39.679 --> 04:42.849
And marriage was
established by God.

04:42.915 --> 04:45.585
So, if you want to build a
better marriage yourself,

04:45.652 --> 04:47.654
you've got to start
at the beginning.

04:47.720 --> 04:50.423
And that beginning is
our first key today:

04:50.490 --> 04:55.395
1. Acknowledge that
marriage comes from God.

04:55.461 --> 04:57.630
This might seem like
a simple point.

04:57.697 --> 05:00.700
But it actually has
far-reaching consequences.

05:00.767 --> 05:03.469
If we acknowledge that God
is the author of marriage,

05:03.536 --> 05:06.305
that means He can
define what it is.

05:06.372 --> 05:10.309
No, it's not any arrangement of two people who love each other,

05:10.376 --> 05:12.612
however love is defined.

05:12.679 --> 05:16.382
It's not a man in a union
with another man, or a

05:16.449 --> 05:18.317
woman with another woman.

05:18.384 --> 05:22.355
No, God defines marriage
as a special covenant,

05:22.422 --> 05:25.058
for life, between a
man and a woman.

05:25.124 --> 05:28.628
Acknowledging that marriage comes from God also defines

05:28.695 --> 05:33.266
what constitutes appropriate behavior in that relationship.

05:33.332 --> 05:37.804
Just as God created marriage, God created sex.

05:37.870 --> 05:41.708
And God designed sex to be
exclusively limited to a

05:41.774 --> 05:45.411
man and wife within the
marriage relationship.

05:45.478 --> 05:50.650
Notice what Jesus said
in Matthew 5:31-32...

05:50.717 --> 05:53.720
"It has been said,
'Whoever divorces his wife,

05:53.786 --> 05:56.723
let him give her a
certificate of divorce.'

05:56.789 --> 06:00.159
But I say to you that
whoever divorces his wife

06:00.226 --> 06:04.330
for any reason except
sexual immorality causes

06:04.397 --> 06:07.767
her to commit adultery;
and whoever marries a

06:07.834 --> 06:11.204
woman who is divorced
commits adultery."

06:11.270 --> 06:14.006
The phrase "sexual immorality" comes from the Greek

06:14.073 --> 06:15.908
root word, "pornea."

06:15.975 --> 06:18.311
"Pornea" would include
repeated adultery,

06:18.377 --> 06:21.214
a lifestyle of
being unfaithful.

06:21.280 --> 06:24.550
And "pornea"--from which we
get the word "pornography"--

06:24.617 --> 06:29.422
could also certainly include an addiction to pornography if one

06:29.489 --> 06:31.858
is resistant to giving it up.

06:31.924 --> 06:34.060
You see, acknowledging
that God created marriage

06:34.127 --> 06:35.928
changes everything.

06:35.995 --> 06:38.765
It means that we look to
Him to know how to conduct

06:38.831 --> 06:42.702
our lives, even in our
closest relationship.

06:42.769 --> 06:46.639
It means we even seek His
perspective on divorce.

06:46.706 --> 06:49.242
As Malachi 2:16 notes...

06:49.308 --> 06:53.179
"'For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce,

06:53.246 --> 06:56.315
for it covers one's
garment with violence.'

06:56.382 --> 06:57.784
Says the LORD of hosts.

06:57.850 --> 07:00.787
'Therefore take heed to
your spirit, that you do

07:00.853 --> 07:02.922
not deal treacherously.'"

07:02.989 --> 07:06.425
God hates divorce because
He knows how much damage

07:06.492 --> 07:08.194
it does to the family.

07:08.261 --> 07:10.696
And He wants to help
us avoid that.

07:10.763 --> 07:13.099
So, if you want to build
a better marriage,

07:13.166 --> 07:14.801
you've got to know
where to start.

07:14.867 --> 07:17.670
Whether you're in a troubled marriage or whether your

07:17.737 --> 07:20.373
marriage is generally
happy but could be better,

07:20.439 --> 07:23.476
we have a map for
making improvements.

07:23.543 --> 07:25.444
And it all starts with acknowledging God

07:25.511 --> 07:26.345
as the Creator.

07:26.412 --> 07:27.580
He designed it.

07:27.647 --> 07:31.317
He knows how to
make it work best.

07:31.384 --> 07:34.120
Before going on, let me offer you our free study guide,

07:34.187 --> 07:36.589
<i>God's Plan for Happy Marriage</i>.

07:36.656 --> 07:39.358
In it, the late Roderick Meredith writes, in the

07:39.425 --> 07:42.128
chapter "Build a God-
Centered Marriage,"

07:42.195 --> 07:45.698
"As you come to know that
very real God, you will

07:45.765 --> 07:48.935
increasingly understand
that He really does know

07:49.001 --> 07:52.538
what is best for you and for every area of your life,

07:52.605 --> 07:55.007
certainly including
your marriage."

07:55.074 --> 07:58.778
This practical yet profound booklet will open your eyes

07:58.845 --> 08:02.448
to the steps you can take
to build or even rebuild

08:02.515 --> 08:03.449
your marriage.

08:03.516 --> 08:05.017
You need this booklet.

08:05.084 --> 08:08.154
It's free of charge, we
want to send it to you.

08:08.221 --> 08:10.323
So just write, call,
or click today.

08:10.389 --> 08:11.424
Order now.

08:11.490 --> 08:12.291
♪

08:12.358 --> 08:19.031
<i>For today's free</i>
<i>offer call...</i>

08:19.098 --> 08:24.537
<i>Or go to...</i>

08:24.604 --> 08:27.506
<i>This clear and straight-</i>
<i>forward resource will</i>

08:27.573 --> 08:29.842
<i>help you understand</i>
<i>this vital truth--</i>

08:29.909 --> 08:32.945
<i>straight from the</i>
<i>pages of the Bible.</i>

08:33.012 --> 08:35.047
<i>If you're calling</i>
<i>for the first time,</i>

08:35.114 --> 08:38.084
<i>you will also receive a</i>
<i>free annual subscription to</i>

08:38.150 --> 08:39.919
<i>Tomorrow's World magazine.</i>

08:39.986 --> 08:43.522
<i>Six inspiring issues</i>
<i>discussing news, science,</i>

08:43.589 --> 08:46.359
<i>and modern culture will</i>
<i>help you make sense of</i>

08:46.425 --> 08:50.129
<i>your world from a</i>
<i>biblical perspective.</i>

08:50.196 --> 08:52.965
<i>Call today and join</i>
<i>millions around the world</i>

08:53.032 --> 08:55.635
<i>who are turning to</i>
<i>Tomorrow's World for</i>

08:55.701 --> 09:01.274
<i>truth, prophecy, and hope</i>
<i>in these confusing times.</i>

09:01.340 --> 09:02.975
<i>Call now!</i>

09:03.042 --> 09:06.479
<i>Or go to...</i>

09:06.545 --> 09:11.817
♪

09:11.884 --> 09:13.219
Welcome back.

09:13.286 --> 09:15.788
In the previous portion of
this program, we saw that

09:15.855 --> 09:18.791
acknowledging God is the
first key towards building

09:18.858 --> 09:20.593
a better marriage.

09:20.660 --> 09:21.928
What's the next key?

09:21.994 --> 09:25.564
2. Commit to Your Spouse.

09:25.631 --> 09:28.067
There was a time, even
in the recent past,

09:28.134 --> 09:31.037
when marriage, was
assumed to be for life.

09:31.103 --> 09:32.939
Where did that
idea come from?

09:33.005 --> 09:34.407
Well, from the Bible.

09:34.473 --> 09:39.011
Romans 7:2 says...

09:39.078 --> 09:41.981
"For the woman who has
a husband is bound by

09:42.048 --> 09:45.017
the law to her husband
as long as he lives.

09:45.084 --> 09:48.187
But if the husband dies,
she is released from the

09:48.254 --> 09:49.255
law of her husband."

09:49.322 --> 09:52.525
You see, this wasn't
a man-made idea.

09:52.591 --> 09:56.896
God defined marriage as
a life-long commitment.

09:56.963 --> 09:58.631
A sacred covenant.

09:58.698 --> 10:01.968
When Jesus was on this earth, the Jews asked Him about

10:02.034 --> 10:04.503
marriage--specifically
about divorce.

10:04.570 --> 10:08.474
Notice His response
in Mark 10:6-9...

10:08.541 --> 10:11.444
"From the beginning of the
creation, God 'made them

10:11.510 --> 10:13.179
male and female.'

10:13.245 --> 10:15.614
'For this reason a man
shall leave his father

10:15.681 --> 10:17.583
and mother and be
joined to his wife,

10:17.650 --> 10:20.353
and the two shall
become one flesh,'...

10:20.419 --> 10:22.989
Therefore what God
has joined together,

10:23.055 --> 10:25.424
let not man separate."

10:25.491 --> 10:28.761
But today, we see very
different expectations.

10:28.828 --> 10:32.131
The mentality, all too often,
is "I'll love you as long

10:32.198 --> 10:33.532
as you love me."

10:33.599 --> 10:37.003
Or, "I'll stay with you as
long as my needs are met."

10:37.069 --> 10:39.739
Some seek to be free of a
marriage if they feel

10:39.805 --> 10:42.641
they no longer love the
person they married.

10:42.708 --> 10:46.145
But can you see the flaws
in each of these mindsets?

10:46.212 --> 10:49.015
They're setting a limit
on the commitment they're

10:49.081 --> 10:50.282
willing to make.

10:50.349 --> 10:53.319
Now, before going on any
further, let me explain:

10:53.386 --> 10:56.322
Christ did say that there
are times when a marriage

10:56.389 --> 11:00.226
relationship had been
broken beyond repair.

11:00.292 --> 11:04.463
The damage is done and is
very difficult to be undone.

11:04.530 --> 11:07.266
As noted already, one of those times is when a partner

11:07.333 --> 11:11.070
has fallen into a lifestyle
of sexual immorality

11:11.137 --> 11:13.072
and is unrepentant.

11:13.139 --> 11:15.708
That's a valid
reason for divorce.

11:15.775 --> 11:17.743
Another example is
found in the writings

11:17.810 --> 11:19.278
of the apostle Paul.

11:19.345 --> 11:22.448
He's talking to Christians
who are married to unbelievers,

11:22.515 --> 11:26.886
and he says, in
1 Corinthians 7:15...

11:26.952 --> 11:30.322
"But if the unbeliever
departs, let him depart;

11:30.389 --> 11:35.027
a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.

11:35.094 --> 11:37.830
But God has called
us to peace."

11:37.897 --> 11:39.999
In other words, there
are times when the other

11:40.066 --> 11:43.335
person has made it clear
that he or she no longer

11:43.402 --> 11:46.472
intends to fulfill the
marriage contract.

11:46.539 --> 11:50.443
Even with time, and counseling, and perseverance of the

11:50.509 --> 11:53.212
committed partner, the
other person's done.

11:53.279 --> 11:55.514
Maybe they abandon their mate.

11:55.581 --> 11:58.417
Or, perhaps they are
terribly abusive.

11:58.484 --> 12:01.487
At times such as this,
as Paul explains,

12:01.554 --> 12:04.323
it is appropriate to
dissolve the marriage.

12:04.390 --> 12:07.793
But truthfully, in our day,
too many marriages are wrecked

12:07.860 --> 12:11.497
simply because two people
just can't get along.

12:11.564 --> 12:15.534
In many cases it could be salvaged--and even improved--

12:15.601 --> 12:19.238
with a little more
patience and perseverance.

12:19.305 --> 12:22.041
There was a fascinating
study conducted in the

12:22.108 --> 12:24.510
United Kingdom that was
referred to by the

12:24.577 --> 12:28.013
Marriage Foundation,
in February 2017.

12:28.080 --> 12:31.217
The Marriage Foundation is an organization in Britain that

12:31.283 --> 12:35.554
advocates for policies that support marriage and the family.

12:35.621 --> 12:37.156
Here is what they found:

12:37.223 --> 12:41.160
"It is widely presumed that 'staying together in an

12:41.227 --> 12:44.864
unhappy marriage' condemns couples to a life of misery."

12:44.930 --> 12:48.267
This is the common assumption, but the study found that

12:48.334 --> 12:50.803
in most cases, that's
simply not true.

12:50.870 --> 12:54.206
The study followed a group
of 10,000 parents with

12:54.273 --> 12:57.710
newborn children, focusing
on a small subset of that

12:57.776 --> 13:02.081
group who described their marriages as "unhappy."

13:02.148 --> 13:03.816
What was the result
of the study?

13:03.883 --> 13:09.622
"Of this small minority,
30% split up within ten years.

13:09.688 --> 13:13.692
Of those who stayed together, two thirds reported that

13:13.759 --> 13:18.597
they were now happy and
only 7% still unhappy."

13:18.664 --> 13:20.266
Did you catch that?

13:20.332 --> 13:23.269
In other words, even if you're struggling in your marriage,

13:23.335 --> 13:26.272
even if you feel unhappy,
don't give up.

13:26.338 --> 13:29.375
Sometimes you'll go through
a time of high stress

13:29.441 --> 13:30.676
and difficulty.

13:30.743 --> 13:33.212
The solution is generally
not to bail out, but to

13:33.279 --> 13:36.916
work on it together,
learn what you can learn,

13:36.982 --> 13:40.286
and try to figure out what you may be doing wrong, personally.

13:40.352 --> 13:42.421
And to persevere.

13:42.488 --> 13:45.291
In most cases, it
will get better.

13:45.357 --> 13:48.027
Which brings us back to
the point of this section:

13:48.093 --> 13:50.095
Commit to Your Spouse.

13:50.162 --> 13:53.232
If we go into marriage with
a Plan B, so to speak--

13:53.299 --> 13:57.336
if divorce is an option if things get too hard--then

13:57.403 --> 14:00.673
it's more likely that some
day we'll take that option.

14:00.739 --> 14:03.842
On the other hand, if we go
into marriage with the mindset,

14:03.909 --> 14:07.580
"I am committed to this
marriage until death.

14:07.646 --> 14:11.050
I will do everything I possibly can to make it work.

14:11.116 --> 14:14.720
Even if times get rough,
I'm not going to see divorce

14:14.787 --> 14:16.789
as an escape hatch."

14:16.855 --> 14:20.559
That will change our
perspective dramatically.

14:20.626 --> 14:23.929
When we hit the storms of life, we're going to pull out

14:23.996 --> 14:26.298
all the stops to make it work.

14:26.365 --> 14:28.467
We're going to redouble
our efforts.

14:28.534 --> 14:30.035
We're going to
seek counseling.

14:30.102 --> 14:31.937
We're going to humble
ourselves and try to

14:32.004 --> 14:33.872
figure it out, together.

14:33.939 --> 14:37.443
My wife and I were blessed
to have parents with intact

14:37.509 --> 14:41.447
marriages, who were faithful
to each other for decades.

14:41.513 --> 14:43.449
They gave us good examples.

14:43.515 --> 14:45.317
But we also have many
friends who were not

14:45.384 --> 14:47.086
blessed in the same way.

14:47.152 --> 14:49.722
Yet I know, some of our friends, in their own marriages,

14:49.788 --> 14:54.026
have made it a specific and determined goal to not follow

14:54.093 --> 14:56.395
the same path as their parents.

14:56.462 --> 14:59.732
They don't want divorce
to even be an option.

14:59.798 --> 15:01.600
Again, please understand.

15:01.667 --> 15:04.803
God is not condoning you
staying in a relationship

15:04.870 --> 15:08.574
that is physically abusive
or where your partner has

15:08.641 --> 15:12.778
no intention of fulfilling
his or her responsibilities.

15:12.845 --> 15:16.081
But in our experience,
many people split up

15:16.148 --> 15:18.484
when they could have
made it work.

15:18.550 --> 15:20.319
With a little more persistence.

15:20.386 --> 15:22.087
A little more patience.

15:22.154 --> 15:23.956
And a little more commitment.

15:24.023 --> 15:26.458
I know what I'm
saying is not easy.

15:26.525 --> 15:29.161
Even a good marriage
will be tested.

15:29.228 --> 15:30.195
We're all human.

15:30.262 --> 15:32.064
We all make mistakes.

15:32.131 --> 15:34.633
We say and do things
we ought not.

15:34.700 --> 15:37.770
But we've got to understand,
we're living in a generation

15:37.836 --> 15:41.440
that undermines the
importance of commitment.

15:41.507 --> 15:43.609
It's a sign of our times.

15:43.676 --> 15:46.912
Commitment is so important
in our relationships.

15:46.979 --> 15:50.516
Not just marriage, but
all of our relationships.

15:50.582 --> 15:54.186
And lack of commitment to treat
one another with integrity

15:54.253 --> 15:59.291
and respect is one thing that
is tearing society apart.

15:59.358 --> 16:06.432
Notice what the Apostle Paul prophesied in 2 Timothy 3:1-4...

16:06.498 --> 16:10.569
"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:

16:10.636 --> 16:14.473
For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money,

16:14.540 --> 16:18.644
boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents,

16:18.711 --> 16:23.782
unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers,

16:23.849 --> 16:27.653
without self-control,
brutal, despisers of good,

16:27.720 --> 16:31.056
traitors, headstrong,
haughty lovers of pleasure

16:31.123 --> 16:33.158
rather than lovers of God...."

16:33.225 --> 16:36.462
What Paul is describing is a world where people's greatest

16:36.528 --> 16:40.599
commitment is to themselves; satisfying the self.

16:40.666 --> 16:43.702
And that describes our
world today, all too often.

16:43.769 --> 16:47.206
So, we have to work that
much harder to learn to

16:47.272 --> 16:49.375
be committed to our mate.

16:49.441 --> 16:52.244
Again, there's much more
to say on this topic,

16:52.311 --> 16:55.347
but I want to pause to give
you an opportunity to order

16:55.414 --> 16:59.051
our free study guide
<i>God's Plan for Happy Marriage</i>.

16:59.118 --> 17:01.987
In it, Dr. Roderick
Meredith explains,

17:02.054 --> 17:04.623
"One of the traditional
marriage ceremonies includes

17:04.690 --> 17:07.993
the expression, 'till
death to us part.'

17:08.060 --> 17:11.363
Although many young people
today disdain this notion,

17:11.430 --> 17:15.167
it is absolutely vital that every marriage be built

17:15.234 --> 17:16.802
on this understanding."

17:16.869 --> 17:19.471
There's much more in
this enlightening and

17:19.538 --> 17:21.206
encouraging resource.

17:21.273 --> 17:25.844
If you want help in building your marriage, don't delay.

17:25.911 --> 17:26.945
Order it today.

17:27.012 --> 17:28.981
Call, write or
order online.

17:29.048 --> 17:31.283
We'll send it to
you free of charge.

17:31.350 --> 17:32.217
Order now.

17:32.284 --> 17:33.218
♪

17:33.285 --> 17:35.354
<i>This clear and straight-</i>
<i>forward resource</i>

17:35.421 --> 17:37.890
<i>will help you understand</i>
<i>this vital truth--</i>

17:37.956 --> 17:40.692
<i>straight from the pages</i>
<i>of the Bible.</i>

17:40.759 --> 17:41.927
<i>Call now!</i>

17:41.994 --> 17:46.031
<i>Or go to...</i>

17:46.098 --> 17:48.000
♪

17:48.066 --> 17:49.334
Welcome back.

17:49.401 --> 17:51.103
In the last segment of
the program we talked

17:51.170 --> 17:53.439
about the importance
of commitment.

17:53.505 --> 17:55.808
And this brings us to
the next key:

17:55.874 --> 17:59.778
3. Give 100%.

17:59.845 --> 18:03.048
In a traditional Western
culture wedding, the father

18:03.115 --> 18:04.750
gives the bride away.

18:04.817 --> 18:07.519
And it's a touching moment
when he walks the young woman

18:07.586 --> 18:11.557
he's raised down the aisle,
as she enters a new phase of

18:11.623 --> 18:14.092
her life with her husband to be.

18:14.159 --> 18:18.197
The bond between a father and
a daughter is very special.

18:18.263 --> 18:21.467
And it's a pivotal moment
when he "gives her away."

18:21.533 --> 18:24.102
But too many people don't
understand that after the

18:24.169 --> 18:28.106
wedding, they now need to
"give themselves away."

18:28.173 --> 18:31.210
As a husband or wife, they
need to go into marriage

18:31.276 --> 18:35.047
not with a selfish mindset,
but rather with an attitude

18:35.113 --> 18:38.450
of giving 100% to their mate.

18:38.517 --> 18:43.555
Notice Paul's statement,
quoting Jesus, in Acts 20:35...

18:43.622 --> 18:47.726
"And remember the words of
the Lord Jesus, that He said,

18:47.793 --> 18:51.497
'It is more blessed to
give than to receive'."

18:51.563 --> 18:55.067
When we understand this, and apply it, it creates a powerful

18:55.133 --> 18:59.071
dynamic that can revitalize
even a troubled marriage.

18:59.137 --> 19:01.707
Even a marriage that
has hit a rough patch.

19:01.773 --> 19:04.042
This is an antidote:

19:04.109 --> 19:09.515
Marriage is about giving 100%--
not demanding our own needs.

19:09.581 --> 19:13.852
Some have described marriage
as a 50/50 proposition.

19:13.919 --> 19:18.123
If you give 50%, and your
mate gives 50%, you'll meet

19:18.190 --> 19:19.191
in the middle.

19:19.258 --> 19:22.227
But in actual practice,
this doesn't work.

19:22.294 --> 19:25.330
What happens in a
50/50 relationship?

19:25.397 --> 19:29.268
Well, we both give up to a
certain point, and then we stop.

19:29.334 --> 19:31.870
And we expect the other
person to meet us.

19:31.937 --> 19:34.706
That's the problem
with a 50/50 marriage.

19:34.773 --> 19:38.110
It's like two people standing
on two ends of an unfinished

19:38.176 --> 19:40.145
bridge spanning a river.

19:40.212 --> 19:42.281
The two people are
standing on the edges,

19:42.347 --> 19:45.417
looking into the gulf
between them, wondering

19:45.484 --> 19:48.353
why the other person
isn't doing more.

19:48.420 --> 19:51.089
And all the while, the
chasm between them seems

19:51.156 --> 19:54.092
to loom larger and larger.

19:54.159 --> 19:56.562
Does this ever describe
your experience?

19:56.628 --> 19:59.631
Let me present a better model.

19:59.698 --> 20:04.403
That is, each person
giving 100%.

20:04.469 --> 20:09.374
That means, I'm giving 100%
no matter what my mate does.

20:09.441 --> 20:12.878
I'm going to give even
when I don't feel like it,

20:12.945 --> 20:15.881
and even if for the moment
I feel the other person

20:15.948 --> 20:17.449
doesn't deserve it.

20:17.516 --> 20:23.188
The apostle Paul explained
this in Ephesians 5:33...

20:23.255 --> 20:26.692
"Nevertheless let each one
of you in particular so love

20:26.758 --> 20:30.696
his own wife as himself,
and let the wife see that

20:30.762 --> 20:33.098
she respects her husband."

20:33.165 --> 20:34.232
Paul doesn't say:

20:34.299 --> 20:37.536
"Husbands, love your wife
if she loves you back."

20:37.603 --> 20:42.040
And yet, all too often,
that's how we husbands act.

20:42.107 --> 20:45.711
If we don't feel loved,
why should we sacrifice more?

20:45.777 --> 20:48.780
If she is being cutting or
critical, why should I try

20:48.847 --> 20:50.515
to be patient and loving?

20:50.582 --> 20:52.351
But that's wrong thinking.

20:52.417 --> 20:54.820
Rather, we are to
do what Paul said.

20:54.886 --> 20:57.656
We are to love our wife, period.

20:57.723 --> 21:01.159
Especially when she isn't
especially loveable.

21:01.226 --> 21:03.662
That's the time when
our love is tested.

21:03.729 --> 21:07.265
And frankly, that's when
our wife needs our patience

21:07.332 --> 21:09.334
and love the most.

21:09.401 --> 21:11.937
And if you're willing
to do that, if you're

21:12.004 --> 21:14.306
willing to cherish and
treasure her, and make

21:14.373 --> 21:17.242
sure she knows you
think she's important.

21:17.309 --> 21:21.013
Not mocking or belittling
or talking down to her

21:21.079 --> 21:22.614
because of her emotions.

21:22.681 --> 21:26.718
If you're willing to do that, you may be surprised at how

21:26.785 --> 21:30.622
your relationship can be revitalized and even deepen.

21:30.689 --> 21:32.591
What about you wives?

21:32.658 --> 21:34.593
Have you noticed
the same thing?

21:34.660 --> 21:35.894
Paul doesn't say,

21:35.961 --> 21:40.098
"Wives, respect your husband
if he is fulfilling your needs

21:40.165 --> 21:41.733
at that exact moment."

21:41.800 --> 21:46.805
And yet, all too often, that's how wives can react as well.

21:46.872 --> 21:49.875
If you don't feel loved,
you may think, why should

21:49.941 --> 21:51.309
I respect him?

21:51.376 --> 21:53.612
He's not being very kind
to me, why should I try

21:53.679 --> 21:55.480
to be supportive of him?

21:55.547 --> 21:58.216
But that's wrong
thinking as well.

21:58.283 --> 22:01.987
Rather, you are to
also do what Paul said.

22:02.054 --> 22:05.424
Respect your husband, period.

22:05.490 --> 22:07.359
Especially when he
is out of sorts.

22:07.426 --> 22:10.295
That's the time when
your patience is tested.

22:10.362 --> 22:13.598
And that's when he needs
your respect and your

22:13.665 --> 22:15.333
support the most.

22:15.400 --> 22:19.271
Men want to be respected,
not made to feel stupid

22:19.337 --> 22:20.572
or incompetent.

22:20.639 --> 22:24.242
And if you'll do your best to show your husband respect,

22:24.309 --> 22:28.947
and persevere in that, you
also may be surprised to see

22:29.014 --> 22:33.318
how his care and love for
you will grow and flourish.

22:33.385 --> 22:37.055
This dynamic is explained
by the author and marriage

22:37.122 --> 22:40.258
counselor Emerson Eggerichs.

22:40.325 --> 22:41.860
As he explains it:

22:41.927 --> 22:46.565
"Often, we focus on our own needs and simply overlook the

22:46.631 --> 22:48.467
needs of the other person.

22:48.533 --> 22:52.604
The wife needs love; she is not trying to be disrespectful.

22:52.671 --> 22:56.575
The husband needs respect; he
is not trying to be unloving.

22:56.641 --> 23:00.645
Once you grasp this basic
principle--that the 'issue'

23:00.712 --> 23:04.983
is not the real issue at all--
you are on your way to cracking

23:05.050 --> 23:07.018
the communication code."

23:07.085 --> 23:09.588
It's straight from the Scripture--right out of

23:09.654 --> 23:10.756
the book of Ephesians.

23:10.822 --> 23:11.623
So try it.

23:11.690 --> 23:12.591
Test it.

23:12.657 --> 23:14.693
You might be surprised
at the results.

23:14.760 --> 23:18.430
Again, let me pause to offer
you this powerful study guide

23:18.497 --> 23:21.433
that can help you make
your marriage better.

23:21.500 --> 23:24.870
It's entitled, <i>God's</i>
<i>Plan for Happy Marriage</i>.

23:24.936 --> 23:28.240
In it, Dr. Roderick Meredith explains the importance

23:28.306 --> 23:32.410
of "heartfelt communication," "marriage means giving,"

23:32.477 --> 23:36.047
and notes how important it
is to "learn to forgive."

23:36.114 --> 23:39.284
Your marriage is the most important relationship

23:39.351 --> 23:40.452
in your life.

23:40.519 --> 23:43.488
Isn't it worth the time to
think about and study how

23:43.555 --> 23:45.123
to make it work better?

23:45.190 --> 23:46.491
You need this resource.

23:46.558 --> 23:48.894
Just call, click or
write today, for

23:48.960 --> 23:51.196
<i>God's Plan for Happy Marriage</i>.

23:51.263 --> 23:52.097
Order now.

23:52.164 --> 23:53.031
♪

23:53.098 --> 23:59.671
<i>For today's free</i>
<i>offer call...</i>

23:59.738 --> 24:05.210
<i>Or go to...</i>

24:05.277 --> 24:08.446
<i>This clear and straight-</i>
<i>forward resource will</i>

24:08.513 --> 24:10.782
<i>help you understand</i>
<i>this vital truth--</i>

24:10.849 --> 24:13.919
<i>straight from the</i>
<i>pages of the Bible.</i>

24:13.985 --> 24:16.087
<i>If you're calling</i>
<i>for the first time,</i>

24:16.154 --> 24:19.024
<i>you will also receive a</i>
<i>free annual subscription to</i>

24:19.090 --> 24:20.926
<i>Tomorrow's World magazine.</i>

24:20.992 --> 24:24.596
<i>Six inspiring issues</i>
<i>discussing news, science,</i>

24:24.663 --> 24:27.432
<i>and modern culture will</i>
<i>help you make sense of</i>

24:27.499 --> 24:30.869
<i>your world from a</i>
<i>biblical perspective.</i>

24:30.936 --> 24:33.939
<i>Call today and join</i>
<i>millions around the world</i>

24:34.005 --> 24:36.541
<i>who are turning to</i>
<i>Tomorrow's World for</i>

24:36.608 --> 24:42.113
<i>truth, prophecy, and hope in these confusing times.</i>

24:42.180 --> 24:43.515
<i>Call now!</i>

24:43.582 --> 24:47.686
<i>Or go to...</i>

24:47.752 --> 24:52.691
♪

24:52.757 --> 24:55.660
We've covered three
vital keys to building

24:55.727 --> 24:57.362
a better marriage.

24:57.429 --> 25:00.365
Of course, these most
apply to someone married.

25:00.432 --> 25:03.468
But as I said at the beginning, today's program is for the

25:03.535 --> 25:05.237
unmarried as well.

25:05.303 --> 25:06.538
So, what do I mean?

25:06.605 --> 25:09.441
In the final segment of
our program, I'll answer

25:09.507 --> 25:10.542
that question.

25:10.609 --> 25:13.445
And that brings us to
our final key, that is:

25:13.511 --> 25:17.716
4. The Church Will
Marry Christ.

25:17.782 --> 25:20.151
Let's go back to
Ephesians to see this.

25:20.218 --> 25:23.188
As Paul was giving instructions to husbands and wives,

25:23.255 --> 25:25.690
he explained the overall
purpose of marriage.

25:25.757 --> 25:28.360
Notice Ephesians 5:32...

25:28.426 --> 25:31.696
"This is a great mystery,
but I speak concerning

25:31.763 --> 25:33.798
Christ and the church."

25:33.865 --> 25:37.035
You see, marriage was not only designed to create stable and

25:37.102 --> 25:39.271
solid relationships in the home.

25:39.337 --> 25:42.741
It actually serves as a model for us to understand our

25:42.807 --> 25:44.643
relationship with Christ.

25:44.709 --> 25:48.747
It's God's purpose that we,
as faithful servants of God,

25:48.813 --> 25:51.616
can become part of
the Bride of Christ,

25:51.683 --> 25:53.952
to marry Him at His return.

25:54.019 --> 25:57.756
This is explained in
Revelation 19:7...

25:57.822 --> 26:01.426
"'Let us be glad and rejoice
and give Him glory,

26:01.493 --> 26:04.763
for the marriage of the
Lamb has come, and His wife

26:04.829 --> 26:06.498
has made herself ready.'

26:06.564 --> 26:09.534
And to her it was granted
to be arrayed in fine linen,

26:09.601 --> 26:13.471
clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts

26:13.538 --> 26:14.839
of the saints."

26:14.906 --> 26:17.909
Marriage is not just about
having good families in

26:17.976 --> 26:19.077
the here and now.

26:19.144 --> 26:22.781
It serves as a roadmap for
us to fulfill our destiny

26:22.847 --> 26:26.251
to be in God's Kingdom
and to marry Christ.

26:26.318 --> 26:28.453
God created marriage.

26:28.520 --> 26:32.357
And not just as a physical
institution but as a reflection

26:32.424 --> 26:34.659
of our relationship
with our Savior.

26:34.726 --> 26:39.698
We must make a commitment to
Him as our living, loving God.

26:39.764 --> 26:43.435
And we must give our lives
completely to God and Christ

26:43.501 --> 26:45.904
in humble obedience.

26:45.971 --> 26:49.641
But not only that, if we're faithful Christians in this age,

26:49.708 --> 26:53.411
we will have the chance to help rule the nations under Christ,

26:53.478 --> 26:54.546
in the Millennium.

26:54.612 --> 26:58.049
At that time, countless
millions of men and women

26:58.116 --> 27:02.287
will need to be taught how to live godly, fulfilling lives.

27:02.354 --> 27:06.057
The survivors of the Tribulation and the Day of the LORD,

27:06.124 --> 27:10.695
who live on into that glorious time as human beings, will

27:10.762 --> 27:14.766
learn, many for the first time, to really love one another.

27:14.833 --> 27:17.035
And to love their spouse.

27:17.102 --> 27:20.805
Better, stronger marriages
will be the hallmark of the

27:20.872 --> 27:22.507
Millennial reign of Christ.

27:22.574 --> 27:25.543
And you and I can be
there to assist Christ

27:25.610 --> 27:27.979
in making it happen.

27:28.046 --> 27:29.781
Thank you for watching.

27:29.848 --> 27:32.751
And don't forget to order your free copy of our study guide,

27:32.817 --> 27:35.020
<i>God's Plan for Happy Marriage</i>.

27:35.086 --> 27:38.089
And be sure to join us next
time, as Gerald Weston,

27:38.156 --> 27:40.992
Wallace Smith, and I
explain the Good news of

27:41.059 --> 27:44.562
<i>Tomorrow's World</i>, and the
truth, comfort and hope

27:44.629 --> 27:46.531
it can bring to you
and your family.

27:46.598 --> 27:47.766
See you next time.

27:47.832 --> 27:48.633
♪

27:48.700 --> 27:54.873
<i>For today's free</i>
<i>offer call...</i>

27:54.939 --> 27:59.778
<i>Or go to...</i>

27:59.844 --> 28:03.314
<i>Call today and join millions around the world who are</i>

28:03.381 --> 28:07.852
<i>turning to Tomorrow's World</i>
<i>for truth, prophecy, and hope</i>

28:07.919 --> 28:10.822
<i>in these confusing times.</i>

28:10.889 --> 28:13.091
<i>The preceding program</i>
<i>is produced by the</i>

28:13.158 --> 28:14.259
<i>Living Church of God.</i>

28:14.325 --> 28:24.769
♪
