WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.099 OR NOT I DO WHAT GOD ASKED ME TO DO, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A IT'S 00:00:08.199 --> 00:00:11.166 A VERY SMALL LIFE, HONESTLY. >> HEY GUYS. WELCOME BACK TO 00:00:11.266 --> 00:00:15.066 THE PODCAST. I AM JOINED WITH CHARLES METCALF THE THIRD. 00:00:15.166 --> 00:00:18.033 >> YES, ABSOLUTELY. SO GLAD TO BE HERE. SO HAPPY. 00:00:18.133 --> 00:00:20.200 >> THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. >> OF COURSE. ABSOLUTELY, 00:00:20.300 --> 00:00:24.033 ABSOLUTELY. >> AND YOU ARE CAMPUS PASTOR AT 00:00:24.133 --> 00:00:26.166 TRANSFORMATION CHURCH IN. >> TULSA, OKLAHOMA. TULSA, 00:00:26.266 --> 00:00:29.266 OKLAHOMA. >> I LIVED THERE FOR A YEAR. I 00:00:29.366 --> 00:00:31.267 KNOW TULSA, I DID. I WENT TO ORU FOR A HOT SECOND. 00:00:31.367 --> 00:00:33.166 >> THERE YOU GO. >> I LOVE TULSA. 00:00:33.266 --> 00:00:36.100 >> YEAH. >> IT'S BEAUTIFUL. SO MANY 00:00:36.200 --> 00:00:38.999 AMAZING PEOPLE. AND I KNOW YOUR CHURCH IS DOING SO MUCH 00:00:39.099 --> 00:00:42.100 INCREDIBLE STUFF TO REACH PEOPLE AND BE A LIGHT. AND SO 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:45.267 JUST THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO. >> OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 00:00:46.100 --> 00:00:48.100 >> THANK YOU. SO WE'RE GOING TO GET INTO YOUR BOOK. GOD CHOSE 00:00:48.200 --> 00:00:51.066 ME UNTOUCHABLE CONFIDENCE FOR THE UNSTOPPABLE CHRISTIAN. WHEN 00:00:51.166 --> 00:00:53.033 I READ THAT, I WAS LIKE, I REALLY LIKE THIS TITLE. I 00:00:53.133 --> 00:00:55.333 REALLY LIKE THAT SUBTITLE. YEAH. IT'S POWERFUL. 00:00:55.433 --> 00:00:58.066 >> THANK YOU. YEAH. >> BUT I THINK IT WAS BIRTHED 00:00:58.166 --> 00:01:00.300 OUT OF SOME REALLY HARD AND PAINFUL MOMENTS. 00:01:00.400 --> 00:01:04.300 >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. >> WE'RE BASICALLY BORN AND 00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:08.133 RAISED IN MINISTRY WHERE YOU SAY FROM A YOUNG AGE, HOW DID 00:01:08.233 --> 00:01:11.366 YOU GET INTO MINISTRY? >> YEAH, YEAH, I GREW UP IN 00:01:11.466 --> 00:01:16.167 CHURCH. AMAZING. MOM AND DAD. THEY PASTORED A CHURCH GROWING 00:01:16.267 --> 00:01:19.333 UP, AND YEAH, ALWAYS IN CHURCH. I THINK THEY WOULD TELL YOU 00:01:19.433 --> 00:01:22.400 THERE'S A MOMENT WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID WHERE I SAID, HEY, I 00:01:22.500 --> 00:01:26.167 WANT TO ACCEPT JESUS. AND I THINK THAT HAS BEEN MY JOURNEY. 00:01:26.267 --> 00:01:29.233 I THINK AS I GOT OLDER AND INTO HIGH SCHOOL AND STUFF, SOME OF 00:01:29.333 --> 00:01:32.100 THOSE MOMENTS STUCK OUT OF LIKE, DANG, I REALLY WANT TO FOLLOW 00:01:32.200 --> 00:01:34.366 COMMIT TO THIS. AND YEAH, I CHRIST AND REALLY WANT TO 00:01:34.466 --> 00:01:38.167 ALWAYS LOVED CHURCH. BEING IN CHURCH WAS JUST WHAT OUR FAMILY 00:01:38.267 --> 00:01:41.199 DID. IT WAS WHO WE WERE. AND SO YEAH, IT WAS ALWAYS IN THAT. 00:01:41.299 --> 00:01:44.199 BUT I THINK AS I GOT OLDER, I DIDN'T ALWAYS WANT TO BE A 00:01:44.299 --> 00:01:47.233 PASTOR. THERE WERE JUST OTHER THINGS I WANTED TO DO, NOT 00:01:47.333 --> 00:01:50.233 BECAUSE I THINK SOME PASTOR'S KIDS ARE LIKE, OH, I HATED THE 00:01:50.333 --> 00:01:53.266 CHURCH AND I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY. I FEEL LIKE 00:01:53.366 --> 00:01:56.433 CHURCH IS AWESOME. I JUST HAVE OTHER STUFF I LIKE. YEAH. AND 00:01:56.533 --> 00:02:00.200 SO IT WAS ALWAYS IN THAT. BUT YEAH, I WAS I STARTED SERVING 00:02:00.300 --> 00:02:03.366 IN A YOUTH MINISTRY, AND I WAS LEADING A SMALL GROUP OF SIXTH 00:02:03.466 --> 00:02:05.533 GRADE BOYS, AND IT GREW AND A LOT. AND SOMEBODY KIND OF 00:02:05.633 --> 00:02:09.299 POINTED THAT OUT AND WE'RE LIKE, HEY, HAVE YOU NOTICED, LIKE 00:02:09.399 --> 00:02:12.167 YOUR SMALL GROUP, THERE'S A TON OF PEOPLE IN IT. AND I WAS LIKE, 00:02:12.267 --> 00:02:15.300 OH, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I'M JUST SHARING, YOU 00:02:15.400 --> 00:02:18.166 KNOW, JESUS AND HAVING FUN. AND AND IT KIND OF WAS THE EARLY 00:02:18.266 --> 00:02:21.266 MOMENTS OF ME SEEING LIKE, OH MAN, MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN 00:02:21.366 --> 00:02:24.200 THIS. AND SO YEAH, THAT STARTED OFF EARLY ON. IT BECAME A YOUTH 00:02:24.300 --> 00:02:27.299 PASTOR. AND THAT WAS LIKE KIND OF MY JOURNEY INTO MINISTRY. 00:02:27.399 --> 00:02:30.166 AND SO BUT YEAH, I GREW UP MOM AND DAD IN KENTUCKY, GOT A 00:02:30.266 --> 00:02:33.167 LITTLE BROTHER WHO WAS EIGHT YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. HE'S 00:02:33.267 --> 00:02:36.300 LIKE MY TWIN. YEAH, YEAH, WE, WE LOOK VERY, VERY SIMILAR. SO 00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:39.266 MUCH SO IF HE COMES TO CHURCH ON A SUNDAY, HE LIVES OUT OF 00:02:39.366 --> 00:02:42.333 STATE. BUT IF HE COMES IN TOWN, PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY WALK UP TO 00:02:42.433 --> 00:02:45.133 HIM AND JUST START TALKING AND THAT'S. YEAH. YEAH. AND HE'S 00:02:45.233 --> 00:02:47.299 LIKE, HE'LL JUST LISTEN BECAUSE HE'S SO KIND. HE'S LIKE, I 00:02:47.399 --> 00:02:50.267 DON'T WANT TO SHATTER THIS MOMENT FOR YOU. BUT I'M 00:02:50.367 --> 00:02:53.367 DEFINITELY NOT WHO YOU THINK. >> OH MY GOSH, THAT'S CRAZY. 00:02:53.467 --> 00:02:55.433 BUT YEAH YEAH, YEAH. SO YEAH. >> THAT'S A LITTLE BIT OF MY 00:02:55.533 --> 00:02:58.500 CHILDHOOD. >> SO YOU KIND OF HAD A MOMENT 00:02:58.600 --> 00:03:01.300 WHERE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE KIND OF SAW THE ANOINTING GOD 00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:02.299 HAD FOR YOU FOR MINISTRY. BUT MINISTRY IS HARD. 00:03:02.399 --> 00:03:05.333 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> YEAH. 00:03:05.433 --> 00:03:07.533 >> THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN, BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE GET 00:03:07.633 --> 00:03:10.433 INTO MINISTRY AND THEY'RE NOT CALLED. AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT 00:03:10.533 --> 00:03:13.500 TO HATE ON ANYONE OR RILE ANYONE BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE GOOD 00:03:13.600 --> 00:03:16.466 INTENTIONS. BUT I THINK IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A CLEAR CALL FROM 00:03:16.566 --> 00:03:18.467 GOD, YEAH, YOU WON'T. YOU WON'T MAKE IT BECAUSE IT'S HARD. 00:03:18.567 --> 00:03:21.467 >> YEAH. >> SO WHEN DID YOU KNOW LIKE 00:03:21.567 --> 00:03:24.533 THAT? YOU KNEW THAT. YOU KNEW THAT YOU KNEW LIKE, THIS IS 00:03:24.633 --> 00:03:26.599 WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AND I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP. 00:03:27.299 --> 00:03:30.333 >> YEAH. >> EVEN IF IT'S DIFFICULT. 00:03:30.433 --> 00:03:33.233 >> MAN, I WISH I HAD A BETTER ANSWER. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAD, 00:03:33.333 --> 00:03:36.400 LIKE, A SINGULAR MOMENT WHERE THAT HAPPENED. I THINK FOR ME 00:03:36.500 --> 00:03:39.367 IT WAS A JOURNEY OF FIGURING THAT OUT. I THINK I MY LIFE HAS 00:03:39.467 --> 00:03:41.266 REALLY BEEN MARKED BY SAYING YES BEFORE I REALLY KNEW WHAT I 00:03:41.366 --> 00:03:43.500 WAS SAYING YES TO. >> YEAH. 00:03:43.600 --> 00:03:44.766 >> AND THE TRUTH IS, I THINK A LOT OF OUR LIFE IS THAT THE 00:03:44.866 --> 00:03:46.033 TRUTH IS YOU CAN COMMIT TO SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE BECOMING. 00:03:46.133 --> 00:03:47.367 THAT'S ACTUALLY EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET MARRIED. 00:03:47.467 --> 00:03:49.566 YOU SAY YES TO BEING A WIFE, TO BEING A HUSBAND. BEFORE YOU 00:03:49.666 --> 00:03:53.366 KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. YOU SAY, DO YOU COMMIT TO THESE THINGS? 00:03:53.466 --> 00:03:56.400 AND THE TRUTH IS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO ANY OF THEM. BUT 00:03:56.500 --> 00:04:00.333 THE MOMENT YOU SAY THOSE. I BECAME A HUSBAND BEFORE I KNEW 00:04:00.433 --> 00:04:03.333 EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANT TO BE A HUSBAND. AND IN THE SAME WAY, I 00:04:03.433 --> 00:04:06.433 THINK YOU CAN COMMIT TO WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO BEFORE 00:04:06.533 --> 00:04:07.433 YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU. >> KNOW AND YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT 00:04:07.533 --> 00:04:09.633 IT IS. >> YEAH. 00:04:09.733 --> 00:04:11.767 >> EVEN IF YOU GET A PROPHETIC WORD, YOU WON'T. 00:04:11.867 --> 00:04:15.366 >> KNOW WHAT IT IS. YEAH, BECAUSE I'VE. 00:04:15.466 --> 00:04:17.666 >> HAD MOMENTS IN MY LIFE I'M LIKE, THIS WAS NOT WHAT I 00:04:18.399 --> 00:04:19.533 THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE. AND YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE ON. 00:04:19.633 --> 00:04:21.366 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> BUT YOU HAD A CLEAR 00:04:21.466 --> 00:04:23.699 CONVICTION. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 00:04:23.799 --> 00:04:26.533 >> YEAH, I THINK I MY CONVICTION WAS AROUND PEOPLE 00:04:26.633 --> 00:04:29.433 THAT I KNEW THAT DIDN'T KNOW GOD AND THAT KIND OF CHURCH HAD 00:04:29.533 --> 00:04:32.466 KIND OF OSTRACIZED. AND THEY DIDN'T BELONG IN CHURCH OR MADE 00:04:32.566 --> 00:04:36.300 TOO MANY MISTAKES TO BE IN CHURCH OR DIDN'T LOOK A CERTAIN 00:04:36.400 --> 00:04:39.300 WAY TO BE IN CHURCH. AND I JUST FELT LIKE, WELL, MAN, IF WE'RE 00:04:39.400 --> 00:04:42.400 NOT GETTING THOSE PEOPLE WHO WILL. AND I KIND OF FELT THAT 00:04:42.500 --> 00:04:45.299 CALL OF LIKE, WELL, I'VE GOT TO DO THAT. SOMEBODY'S GOT TO TELL 00:04:45.399 --> 00:04:47.500 THESE PEOPLE THAT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE AND WHAT YOU'VE BEEN 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:50.300 THROUGH DOES NOT DEFINE WHAT CHURCH IS. THAT'S JUST CHURCH 00:04:50.400 --> 00:04:53.433 PEOPLE SOMETIMES. AND SO, YEAH, THAT WAS ALWAYS A CLEAR 00:04:53.533 --> 00:04:57.366 CONVICTION TO ME. I THINK THAT DROVE ME MORE SO THAN I WANT TO 00:04:57.466 --> 00:05:00.399 DO MINISTRY OR I WANT TO PREACH. IT WAS MAN. I WANT THE PEOPLE 00:05:00.499 --> 00:05:03.666 THAT I LOVE TO NOT HAVE TO CARRY THIS WEIGHT BY THEMSELVES 00:05:03.766 --> 00:05:04.700 AND FOR THEM TO KNOW THE PEACE THAT I'VE FOUND. SO THAT'S 00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:08.400 ALWAYS BEEN THE DRIVING FORCE. >> YEAH. 00:05:08.500 --> 00:05:10.600 >> SO IT'S A BURDEN FOR PEOPLE AND FOR THE OSTRACIZED AND THE 00:05:10.700 --> 00:05:12.666 OUTCAST. YEAH. YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. WELCOME IN THE CHURCH. YEAH. 00:05:12.766 --> 00:05:13.799 WHICH IS A HEART. A HEART OF A PASTOR. 00:05:13.899 --> 00:05:16.666 >> YEAH. >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. 00:05:16.766 --> 00:05:19.399 >> I THINK WELL, I THINK IT'S, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I THINK 00:05:19.499 --> 00:05:22.800 CHURCH SOMETIMES SENDS TWO DIFFERENT MESSAGES. IT IS COME 00:05:22.900 --> 00:05:25.466 JUST AS YOU ARE, BUT AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SMELL LIKE ANYTHING, 00:05:25.566 --> 00:05:27.667 YOU WEAR THE RIGHT CLOTHES AND YOU LIFT YOUR HANDS AT THE 00:05:27.767 --> 00:05:30.633 RIGHT TIMES. AND THAT'S TWO VERY CONFLICTING IDEAS. BECAUSE 00:05:30.733 --> 00:05:34.366 THE TRUTH IS, IF I CAME LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO, I DON'T KNOW 00:05:34.466 --> 00:05:36.700 THE SONG AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO AND WHAT 00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:40.366 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WEAR AND ALL THOSE DIFFERENT THINGS. AND SO 00:05:40.466 --> 00:05:42.533 I THINK I'VE SEEN THAT IN MY LIFE AND ALWAYS WANTED TO BE 00:05:42.633 --> 00:05:45.400 SOMEONE THAT WOULD HELP. LIKE, HEY, THOSE THINGS ARE JUST 00:05:45.500 --> 00:05:48.467 TRADITIONS OF THE PEOPLE IN HERE WHO'VE BEEN COMING FOR A 00:05:48.567 --> 00:05:51.500 LONG TIME, BUT GOD JUST WANTS TO KNOW, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU 00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:54.500 KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? WHAT'S GOING ON? AND I THINK, YOU KNOW, 00:05:54.600 --> 00:05:57.533 THAT'S THE FIRST QUESTION EVER ASKED TO A HUMAN EVER IS, WHERE 00:05:57.633 --> 00:06:00.633 ARE YOU? IN THE GARDEN. YEAH. AND I THINK, GOD, THAT'S WHAT 00:06:00.733 --> 00:06:03.499 HAPPENS ON A SUNDAY FOR MANY PEOPLE IS THEY COME TO CHURCH 00:06:03.599 --> 00:06:05.733 AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE 00:06:05.833 --> 00:06:09.466 THEIR SPIRIT IS, WHERE THE HEART IS. AND THAT'S WHAT GOD 00:06:09.566 --> 00:06:11.633 IS ASKING. HEY, WHERE ARE YOU? BECAUSE I JUST I WANT TO KNOW 00:06:11.733 --> 00:06:12.966 AND I WANT TO HELP YOU. SO. YEAH. 00:06:13.066 --> 00:06:14.200 >> THAT'S SO GOOD. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRADITIONS 00:06:14.300 --> 00:06:15.500 AND THINGS THAT MEN HAVE CONSTRUCTED IN THEIR MINDS, AND 00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:16.833 IT'S REALLY OUT OF THEIR OWN COMFORT. YEAH, KIND OF A WHEN 00:06:16.933 --> 00:06:17.766 THEY SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENT, I THINK IT ALMOST CREATES FEAR 00:06:17.866 --> 00:06:19.766 BECAUSE IT CHALLENGES THIS MAN MADE. 00:06:19.866 --> 00:06:23.500 >> 100% CREATED. YEAH. >> YEAH, YEAH. LIKE, OH, YOU'RE 00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:26.500 NOT SAVED BY THIS. YOU'RE SAVED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS. YEAH. 00:06:26.600 --> 00:06:28.633 BUT YOU KNOW, I THINK WHERE PEOPLE GET THAT, THEY TOTALLY. 00:06:28.733 --> 00:06:31.466 YOU'RE SO RIGHT. THEY GET IT CONFUSED BECAUSE THERE'S A 00:06:31.566 --> 00:06:32.666 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAN MADE TRADITION AND THEN FOLLOWING 00:06:32.766 --> 00:06:36.566 THE WORD OF GOD. >> YEAH. 00:06:36.666 --> 00:06:39.467 >> AND YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, WHICH THE KEY FOR EVERY 00:06:39.567 --> 00:06:42.599 BELIEVER IS THEY HAVE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS. AND I 00:06:42.699 --> 00:06:45.700 THINK FOR ME, LIKE THE ONLY WAY I'VE BEEN ABLE TO NAVIGATE 00:06:45.800 --> 00:06:48.800 CHURCH HURT AND JUDGMENT. YEAH. AND ALSO LIKE SEEING IS THIS 00:06:48.900 --> 00:06:51.566 RIGHT OR IS THIS WRONG IS HIS WORD AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH 00:06:51.666 --> 00:06:54.633 THE HOLY SPIRIT. I'M LIKE, THANK GOD, BECAUSE IF I ALL I 00:06:54.733 --> 00:06:57.533 HAD WAS LISTENING TO PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH THAT COULD HAVE 00:06:57.633 --> 00:07:00.766 REALLY THROWN ME OFF SOMETIMES. >> ABSOLUTELY. WELL, I THINK, 00:07:00.866 --> 00:07:04.567 YOU KNOW, IT'S EASY TO IF, IF, IF BEFORE YOU MET ME, SOMEONE 00:07:04.667 --> 00:07:07.666 WALKED IN AND SAID, THIS GUY IS SUPER RUDE. HE DOESN'T LIKE 00:07:07.766 --> 00:07:10.799 CANDLES AND HE HATES THE COLOR YELLOW. YOU YOU WOULD HAVE AN 00:07:10.899 --> 00:07:13.800 OPINION OF ME BEFORE YOU EVER MET ME, AND THEN YOU WOULD 00:07:13.900 --> 00:07:16.699 START MAKING DECISIONS BASED OFF OF THAT. YOU WOULD BE LIKE, 00:07:16.799 --> 00:07:18.833 OH WELL, I CAN'T DO THIS, SHOULDN'T DO THAT. AND I 00:07:18.933 --> 00:07:20.799 THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, THAT'S THEIR EXPERIENCE 00:07:20.899 --> 00:07:23.666 WITH CHRIST. THEY HEARD, HEY, HE'S SUPER ANGRY. HE 00:07:23.766 --> 00:07:26.700 FEELS WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG, HE TURNS HIS BACK ON 00:07:26.800 --> 00:07:28.833 YOU AND HE REALLY WANTS YOU TO JUST ALWAYS BE PERFECT. 00:07:28.933 --> 00:07:31.699 SO THEY COME TO CHURCH FEELING A CERTAIN WAY. WHEN 00:07:31.799 --> 00:07:34.700 THEY READ THEIR BIBLE, THEY FEEL A CERTAIN WAY. THE 00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:37.700 TONE OF THE WORDS IN THAT BOOK FEEL A CERTAIN WAY WHEN YOU 00:07:37.800 --> 00:07:41.500 THINK THE GUY'S UP THERE MAD AND WAITING FOR YOU TO MAKE A 00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:43.767 MISTAKE. AND SO I THINK THAT'S EVEN A PART OF THE MISSION OF 00:07:43.867 --> 00:07:46.533 TRANSFORMATION CHURCH ARE WE SAY WE'RE HERE TO REPRESENT GOD. 00:07:46.633 --> 00:07:48.800 AND I THINK THAT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GIVEN A 00:07:48.900 --> 00:07:51.567 PRESENTATION THAT JUST MAYBE WASN'T COMPLETELY ACCURATE OR 00:07:51.667 --> 00:07:55.067 JUST THE WHOLE PICTURE. AND SO THAT'S MY HOPE WITH MY LIFE, IS 00:07:55.167 --> 00:07:58.567 TO SAY, HEY, LIKE, I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE 00:07:58.667 --> 00:08:01.667 PICTURE. AND THE TRUTH IS HE IS GRACE AND TRUTH. SO HE'S GRACE 00:08:01.767 --> 00:08:04.933 ENOUGH TO MEET YOU WHERE YOU ARE, AND HE'S TRUTH ENOUGH TO 00:08:05.033 --> 00:08:07.799 SAY, HEY, YOU GOT TO GROW. AND SO HE IS BOTH OF THOSE THINGS. 00:08:07.899 --> 00:08:10.700 BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW THAT. 00:08:10.800 --> 00:08:13.633 >> IT'S SO TRUE. AND THAT'S WHY EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW HIM FOR 00:08:13.733 --> 00:08:16.667 THEMSELVES. BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO IT. 00:08:16.767 --> 00:08:19.633 BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, PEOPLE HAVE TO LOOK AT THE LENS OF GOD. 00:08:19.733 --> 00:08:22.833 THEY NEED TO SEE HIM THROUGH THE LENS OF A LOVING FATHER. 00:08:22.933 --> 00:08:24.733 YEAH, YEAH. ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS IT SAYS IN COLOSSIANS 00:08:24.833 --> 00:08:27.833 THAT COLOSSIANS IS THAT JESUS IS THE VISIBLE IMAGE OF THE 00:08:27.933 --> 00:08:31.766 INVISIBLE GOD. YEAH. AND SO IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO LIKE WHAT 00:08:31.866 --> 00:08:33.633 THE FATHER IS LIKE, YOU LOOK AT WHAT? WHO IS JESUS? YEAH. 00:08:33.733 --> 00:08:35.866 BECAUSE HE'S A DIRECT REFLECTION. AND SO, YES, IT'S 00:08:35.966 --> 00:08:39.600 SO BEAUTIFUL. IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW, 00:08:39.700 --> 00:08:41.766 WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOUR BOOK AND YOUR SERMON WITH GOD CHOSE ME 00:08:41.866 --> 00:08:44.100 IS IT REALLY TACKLES THE SUBJECT OF IDENTITY, WHICH IS 00:08:44.200 --> 00:08:48.566 SO IMPORTANT? >> YEAH, 100%. 00:08:48.666 --> 00:08:49.833 >> SO LET'S GET INTO IT. HOW DOES SOMEONE FIGURE OUT WHO 00:08:49.933 --> 00:08:52.900 THEY ARE? >> YEAH, WELL, I THINK THERE'S 00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:56.566 A NATURAL JOURNEY IN LIFE THAT YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE, WHICH IS 00:08:56.666 --> 00:09:00.633 THAT'S TRUE. WE GAIN IDENTITY AND SIGNIFICANCE FROM AN EARLY 00:09:00.733 --> 00:09:03.733 AGE FROM A KEY COUPLE AREAS. WE GET IT FROM OUR FAMILY. WE GET 00:09:03.833 --> 00:09:06.767 IT FROM THE WORDS THAT ARE SPOKEN TO US. WE GET IT FROM 00:09:06.867 --> 00:09:09.667 OUR NATURAL GIFTS AND TALENTS. AND THEN A PART OF THAT IS LIKE 00:09:09.767 --> 00:09:12.633 OUR CONNECTIONS, LIKE WHO WE KNOW, MAYBE OUR FRIEND CIRCLES. 00:09:12.733 --> 00:09:14.933 AND THE THING IS, NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE WRONG. THEY'RE GREAT 00:09:15.033 --> 00:09:17.800 PLACES AND THEY SERVE US WELL. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THOSE 00:09:17.900 --> 00:09:20.733 THINGS SERVE YOU UNTIL THEY DON'T. AND I'VE FOUND THAT ALL 00:09:20.833 --> 00:09:23.766 THOSE SOURCES FOR CONFIDENCE REALLY HAVE A TIMER ON THEM. SO 00:09:23.866 --> 00:09:26.599 IF YOU GET YOUR CONFIDENCE FROM YOUR FRIEND CIRCLE IN SCHOOL, 00:09:26.699 --> 00:09:28.966 IT'S GREAT. UNTIL YOU EITHER GRADUATE SCHOOL OR THOSE 00:09:29.066 --> 00:09:33.667 FRIENDS DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, OR IF YOU GET YOUR CONFIDENCE 00:09:33.767 --> 00:09:36.833 FROM A TALENT OR AN ABILITY, WELL, THAT EITHER GOES AWAY OR 00:09:36.933 --> 00:09:39.600 SOMEONE CAN DO IT BETTER. OR IF YOU GET IT FROM MAKING MONEY, 00:09:39.700 --> 00:09:42.600 THERE ARE THINGS OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL. THE ECONOMY CAN 00:09:42.700 --> 00:09:45.767 CRASH AND YOU CAN'T MAKE MONEY ANYMORE. AND NOW YOU DON'T KNOW 00:09:45.867 --> 00:09:48.800 WHO YOU ARE. AND SO I THINK WE JUST FIRST HAVE TO START BY 00:09:48.900 --> 00:09:50.733 BEING HONEST. AND THE HONEST TRUTH IS WE GAIN SIGNIFICANCE 00:09:50.833 --> 00:09:54.667 FROM USUALLY OUR PERFORMANCE, THE PEOPLE WE KNOW AND OUR 00:09:54.767 --> 00:09:57.833 POSITION. SO THAT'S HOW I AMALGAMATE THIS IDEA OF I AM 00:09:57.933 --> 00:10:01.633 GOOD BECAUSE I CAN MAKE MONEY, I CAN DO THIS, I'M SMART, I'M 00:10:01.733 --> 00:10:04.733 WHATEVER, AND THAT'S FINE. BUT YOU HAVE TO REALIZE AT SOME 00:10:04.833 --> 00:10:07.800 POINT THOSE THINGS ARE GOING TO FADE. AND WHEN THEY FADE, WHERE 00:10:07.900 --> 00:10:10.833 WILL YOU BE? WHAT WILL BE YOUR SOURCE? WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO 00:10:10.933 --> 00:10:14.066 GET SECURITY? WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET IDENTITY WHEN YOU 00:10:14.166 --> 00:10:16.767 CAN'T DO THOSE THINGS ANYMORE? WHEN PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHO YOU 00:10:16.867 --> 00:10:19.800 ARE, WHEN EVERYBODY'S NOT ON YOUR SIDE. AND I THINK THAT'S 00:10:19.900 --> 00:10:23.800 THE QUESTION THAT WE ALL HAVE TO FACE DOWN AT SOME POINT IN 00:10:23.900 --> 00:10:26.799 YOUR LIFE. AND FOR ME, AS I FACE THAT QUESTION, I REALIZED 00:10:26.899 --> 00:10:30.700 THAT I HAD TO HAVE A GREATER SOURCE OF CONFIDENCE, AND IT 00:10:30.800 --> 00:10:33.766 COULDN'T BE JUST MY TALENT OR WHAT I COULD DO, OR WHO I KNEW. 00:10:33.866 --> 00:10:36.866 IT HAD TO BE GENUINELY FROM GOD. AND IT STEMS. THERE'S A PORTION 00:10:36.966 --> 00:10:40.667 OF SCRIPTURE, GALATIANS CHAPTER ONE, WHERE PAUL IS KIND OF LIKE 00:10:40.767 --> 00:10:43.700 HE'S KIND OF LIKE RANTING BACK TO THESE PEOPLE BECAUSE, YOU 00:10:43.800 --> 00:10:45.800 KNOW, HE'S SAUL, HE'S KILLING CHRISTIANS, HE GETS SAVED, AND 00:10:45.900 --> 00:10:48.666 EVERYBODY DOESN'T BELIEVE HIM. THEY'RE LIKE, NO, YOU DIDN'T 00:10:48.766 --> 00:10:51.666 REALLY GET SAVED. LIKE, THERE'S NO WAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M 00:10:51.766 --> 00:10:55.600 SAYING? AND SO HE WRITES THIS LETTER AND HE'S LIKE, HEY, MY 00:10:55.700 --> 00:10:57.900 NAME IS PAUL AND I'M A SLAVE OF CHRIST. AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, I 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:01.733 DIDN'T GET THIS REVELATION FROM ANY HUMAN. NOBODY HUMAN GAVE IT 00:11:01.833 --> 00:11:04.900 TO ME. JESUS TAUGHT ME HIMSELF. AND THEN HE SAYS, BEFORE I WAS 00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:08.000 BORN, GOD CHOSE ME. HE GOES ON TO SAY LATER IN THE LETTER INTO 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:11.000 CHAPTER TWO, HE WAS LIKE, WHEN I GOT WHEN I GOT THIS MESSAGE, 00:11:11.100 --> 00:11:13.800 I DIDN'T WAIT AROUND TO GET IT APPROVED BY ANYBODY ELSE, HE 00:11:13.900 --> 00:11:16.933 SAID. I IMMEDIATELY STARTED PREACHING IT. AND THEN HE SAYS, 00:11:17.033 --> 00:11:19.833 14 YEARS LATER, I WENT TO MEET THIS PERSON AND THAT PERSON. 00:11:19.933 --> 00:11:22.800 AND THERE'S A LITTLE CAVEAT, HE SAYS, ALTHOUGH IT DIDN'T MATTER 00:11:22.900 --> 00:11:25.766 TO ME WHO THEY WERE BECAUSE GOD APPOINTS PEOPLE. SO HE'S JUST 00:11:25.866 --> 00:11:28.866 SPEAKING WITH THIS CONFIDENCE. THAT IS, AFTER GOD CHOSE ME, I 00:11:28.966 --> 00:11:31.733 IMMEDIATELY STARTED DOING WHAT HE CREATED ME TO DO. AND I 00:11:31.833 --> 00:11:34.733 DIDN'T WAIT AROUND FOR THE APPROVAL. APPROVAL OF PEOPLE. 00:11:34.833 --> 00:11:37.733 YEAH, AND I THINK JUST THE HONEST TRUTH IS, MANY OF US, 00:11:37.833 --> 00:11:40.700 IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHO WE ARE BECAUSE WE'VE GAINED ALL OUR 00:11:40.800 --> 00:11:43.833 SIGNIFICANCE FROM OTHER PEOPLE. AND SO IF THEY SAY WE'RE GREAT, 00:11:43.933 --> 00:11:46.866 WE'RE GREAT. BUT IF THEY SAY WE'RE BAD, WE'RE BAD, AND IT'S 00:11:46.966 --> 00:11:50.833 JUST A TERRIBLE ROLLERCOASTER OF LIFE TO RIDE. AND SO I JUST 00:11:50.933 --> 00:11:54.733 CHOSE TO GET OFF THE RIDE. >> YEAH. AND I THINK ALL OF US 00:11:54.833 --> 00:11:57.733 AT SOME POINT CAN MAKE THAT CHOICE TO GET OFF THE RIDE. AND 00:11:57.833 --> 00:11:59.966 IT'S IMPERATIVE BECAUSE REALLY, IS IT TRUE? 00:12:00.066 --> 00:12:03.000 >> 100%. >> AND THE BIBLE SAID THAT ONE 00:12:03.100 --> 00:12:07.000 OF THE THINGS GOD TAUGHT ME WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY MY 00:12:07.100 --> 00:12:09.933 THIRD KID IS HE SAID HE LED ME TO THAT VERSE IN JEREMIAH THAT 00:12:10.033 --> 00:12:13.000 SAYS, BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN GOD, BUT CURSED IS 00:12:13.100 --> 00:12:15.999 THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN MAN, AND THAT EVEN MEANS YOURSELF. AND 00:12:16.099 --> 00:12:17.366 SO WE'RE IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, NO PERSON OR OURSELVES 00:12:17.433 --> 00:12:19.133 ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SOURCE. YEAH, YEAH. AND IT REALLY IS A 00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:22.100 TRAP. AND IT REALLY IS SHIFTING SAND. BECAUSE AT ANY POINT CAN 00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:25.100 PEOPLE'S OPINIONS OF YOU CHANGE. AND A LOT OF TIMES IF YOU'RE 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:26.400 WALKING IN THE CALL OF GOD, YOU'RE GOING TO BE PEOPLE WHO 00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:29.366 STRAIGHT UP OPPOSE YOU. >> YEAH, YEAH. 00:12:29.466 --> 00:12:32.200 >> WE DON'T REALIZE THAT AS MUCH IN THE WESTERN CHURCH 00:12:32.300 --> 00:12:35.233 BECAUSE IT IS MORE ACCEPTED HERE, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN 100%. 00:12:35.333 --> 00:12:38.200 AND SO IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO GET OFF THAT RIDE. AND GOD IS 00:12:38.300 --> 00:12:41.333 LOVING ENOUGH A LOT OF TIMES TO TAKE US THROUGH TRIALS. 00:12:41.433 --> 00:12:45.333 >> YEAH, YEAH. >> TO BASICALLY HIGHLIGHT LIKE, 00:12:45.433 --> 00:12:49.266 OKAY, YEAH, I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH AS MY CHILD TO KEEP YOU HERE. 00:12:49.366 --> 00:12:53.233 YEAH. SO WAS THERE A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU WERE LIKE, 00:12:53.333 --> 00:12:56.400 I GOTTA JUMP OFF THIS RIDE? >> YEAH, YEAH, I THINK IN 2020 00:12:56.500 --> 00:13:01.199 WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY HAD A TOUGH YEAR THAT YEAR. AND 00:13:01.299 --> 00:13:05.267 I THINK FOR ME IT MANIFESTED IN JUST A DEEP DEPRESSION AND 00:13:05.367 --> 00:13:10.300 ANXIETY AND FEELING OVERWHELMED. AND IT ALL KIND OF HINGED TO 00:13:10.400 --> 00:13:13.300 THIS IDEA AND FEAR THAT I JUST DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TO DO WHAT 00:13:13.400 --> 00:13:15.167 YOU'VE ASKED ME TO DO. YOU KNOW, LIKE. 00:13:15.267 --> 00:13:18.267 >> WITHIN YOURSELF. >> YES, ABSOLUTELY. LIKE I 00:13:18.367 --> 00:13:20.433 THERE'S A STORY I WRITE ABOUT IN THE BOOK. BUT WHEN I WAS 00:13:20.533 --> 00:13:24.199 REALLY YOUNG, I GREW UP PLAYING SPORTS, CAPTAIN OF THE 00:13:24.299 --> 00:13:27.367 BASKETBALL TEAM. COACH DRAWS UP THE PLAY, I GET THE BALL, DRIVE, 00:13:27.467 --> 00:13:31.267 GET FOULED. IF I MAKE ONE FREE THROW TO TIE THE GAME, IF I 00:13:31.367 --> 00:13:34.200 MAKE THEM BOTH, WE WIN THE GAME AND I MISSED BOTH OF THEM. AND 00:13:34.300 --> 00:13:37.167 I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT MOMENT. SIXTH GRADE KID, AND WHAT I 00:13:37.267 --> 00:13:40.366 FELT WAS I'M GOOD ENOUGH TO BE THE CAPTAIN, GOOD ENOUGH FOR 00:13:40.466 --> 00:13:44.267 THE COACH TO DRAW UP THE PLAY FOR ME. BUT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH 00:13:44.367 --> 00:13:46.300 TO SEE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. AND THAT WAS THE IDEA THAT IT'S 00:13:46.400 --> 00:13:48.433 LIKE, NO, YOU'VE GOT IT'S CLEARLY SOMETHING'S ON YOUR 00:13:48.533 --> 00:13:52.233 LIFE, YOU'RE CLEARLY SPECIAL, YOU CLEARLY BLAH BLAH, BLAH. 00:13:52.333 --> 00:13:55.400 BUT LIKE AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH. AND THAT 00:13:55.500 --> 00:13:58.400 LIE STUCK WITH ME MY WHOLE LIFE. I FELT THAT WAY IN MARRIAGE 00:13:58.500 --> 00:14:01.533 LIKE, NO, I'M GONNA GET MARRIED. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. BUT LIKE, 00:14:01.633 --> 00:14:04.267 I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL HAVE ENOUGH TO HAVE A LONG, FAITHFUL, 00:14:04.367 --> 00:14:07.433 FRUITFUL MARRIAGE. LIKE, I JUST DON'T KNOW OR MINISTRY. I'LL 00:14:07.533 --> 00:14:09.500 PROBABLY START OFF STRONG, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL. AND JUST 00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:12.700 ALL THOSE QUESTIONS, AND I THINK WE ALL HAVE INTERNAL 00:14:12.800 --> 00:14:15.266 STORIES AND LIES THAT WE BELIEVE THAT ARE BASED OFF OF A 00:14:15.366 --> 00:14:18.300 REAL EXPERIENCE WE HAD. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, SHOOTING A 00:14:18.400 --> 00:14:20.600 FREE THROW IN SIXTH GRADE IS NOT THE SAME AS GETTING MARRIED, 00:14:20.700 --> 00:14:25.233 OR LEADING A CHURCH OR BECOMING AN ADULT, BUT TRAUMA DOESN'T 00:14:25.333 --> 00:14:29.300 KNOW THAT YOUR TRAUMA IS STORED AT THE SAME PART OF YOUR BRAIN 00:14:29.400 --> 00:14:31.500 THAT YOUR INSTINCTS ARE, AND IT CAN IS REAL OR NOT REAL. SO THE 00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:35.266 WAY YOUR BODY PROCESSES TRAUMA IS YOU CAN BE IN A DIFFERENT 00:14:35.366 --> 00:14:38.366 SITUATION, BUT IF IT FEELS SIMILAR, YOUR BRAIN'S LIKE, 00:14:38.466 --> 00:14:42.399 THIS IS THE EXACT SAME THING, AND YOU COULD BE A GROWN PERSON 00:14:42.499 --> 00:14:44.233 AND FEEL LIKE, OH, I HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK AND SOMETHING 00:14:44.333 --> 00:14:47.233 HAPPENED WITH YOUR HOUSE AND YOU REVERT BACK TO FEELING LIKE 00:14:47.333 --> 00:14:50.366 I'M A LITTLE KID, I'M OUT OF CONTROL. I DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE 00:14:50.466 --> 00:14:54.367 TO LIVE. AND SO ALL OF US, WE HAVE THESE STORIES THAT WE'VE 00:14:54.467 --> 00:14:56.400 CARRIED FROM SOME POINT IN OUR LIFE. AND AGAIN, YOU GET MET 00:14:57.333 --> 00:14:59.400 WITH A MOMENT IN LIFE WHERE IT'S LIKE, MAN, I CAN'T, I 00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:01.466 CAN'T DO THIS. AND FOR ME, THAT WAS 2020. IT WAS DEEP 00:15:01.566 --> 00:15:05.333 DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND JUST FEELING LIKE, 00:15:05.433 --> 00:15:09.333 I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS PRESSURE. I CAN'T HANDLE IT. AND YEAH, 00:15:09.433 --> 00:15:13.333 THAT WAS REALLY THE MOMENT FOR ME OF LIKE, I'VE GOT TO FIGURE 00:15:13.433 --> 00:15:15.766 SOMETHING OUT. LIKE, I'M I DON'T HAVE ANY DESIRE TO LIVE. 00:15:15.866 --> 00:15:18.400 I DON'T HAVE ANY PEACE. LIKE I'M HAVING PANIC ATTACKS ALL 00:15:18.500 --> 00:15:20.500 THE TIME. I HAD ONE WHILE I WAS PREACHING. 00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:23.466 >> REALLY? >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. LIKE AND. 00:15:23.566 --> 00:15:26.467 >> ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE PANIC ATTACKS, I'VE HAD THEM BEFORE. 00:15:26.567 --> 00:15:27.600 THEY ARE. SO THEY'RE ONE OF THE SCARIEST THINGS YOU CAN 00:15:28.400 --> 00:15:29.500 EXPERIENCE. >> ABSOLUTELY. I WAS. 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:32.433 >> HAVING YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE. 00:15:32.533 --> 00:15:34.300 >> OH, ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. >> YOUR WHOLE. 00:15:34.400 --> 00:15:35.433 >> YOUR WHOLE BODY IS SHAKING. YOUR HEART'S POUNDING LIKE WAS 00:15:35.533 --> 00:15:38.633 HAVING. >> IT'S HARD TO GET. 00:15:38.733 --> 00:15:41.300 >> OUT EVERY SINGLE DAY. LIKE EVERY DAY FOR MONTHS, JUST LIKE. 00:15:41.400 --> 00:15:45.366 >> REALLY? >> YEAH. AND SO IT WAS JUST AT 00:15:45.466 --> 00:15:47.466 A POINT WHERE IT'S LIKE, I CAN'T, I CAN'T DO THIS. LIKE, I 00:15:47.566 --> 00:15:50.433 DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. AND SO. >> YEAH, YOU REALIZE SOMETHING 00:15:50.533 --> 00:15:54.367 HAS TO CHANGE. YEAH. DID YOU OPEN UP TO ANYONE RIGHT AWAY OR 00:15:54.467 --> 00:15:57.533 DID YOU KIND OF TRY TO JUST TRY. >> TO FIGURE OUT DIDN'T KNOW 00:15:57.633 --> 00:15:58.699 WHAT WAS HAPPENING. YEAH, I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WAS 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:01.666 HAPPENING. BUT SLOWLY BUT SURELY, YEAH. SOME FRIENDS 00:16:01.766 --> 00:16:04.633 AROUND ME THAT WERE JUST LIKE, MAN, I DON'T I DON'T KNOW WHAT 00:16:04.733 --> 00:16:07.400 THIS IS, BUT THIS IS WHAT I'M FEELING. ONE SPECIFICALLY 00:16:07.500 --> 00:16:10.467 HAPPENED WHILE I WAS PREACHING AND I FINISHED PREACHING, AND I 00:16:10.567 --> 00:16:12.867 IMMEDIATELY JUST WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM, WENT IN THE. 00:16:12.967 --> 00:16:15.400 >> GREEN PREACH WITH THE PANIC ATTACK. HOW DID YOU DO THAT? 00:16:15.500 --> 00:16:18.500 >> OH, MAN. >> JUST HELD ON FOR MY DEAR 00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:21.467 LIFE. THAT'S HOW I DID IT. SO YEAH, BUT LIKE SO SOME OF MY 00:16:21.567 --> 00:16:24.400 FRIENDS HAD SEEN, THEY SAW LIKE SOMETHING'S LIKE. YEAH. AND SO 00:16:24.500 --> 00:16:26.666 YEAH, JUST STARTED TALKING AND IT SLOWLY BEGAN THIS PROCESS OF 00:16:26.766 --> 00:16:29.533 JUST A LOT OF DIFFERENT PRACTICES IN MY LIFE OF TRYING 00:16:29.633 --> 00:16:32.400 TO CULTIVATE AND FIGHT FOR PEACE. AND THAT'S THE THING I 00:16:32.500 --> 00:16:34.767 THINK IS IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO KNOW. THE SCRIPTURE SAYS, 00:16:34.867 --> 00:16:37.533 BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS. AND I THINK WE POSITION PEACE A 00:16:37.633 --> 00:16:39.666 LOT OF TIMES AS SOMETHING YOU FIND VERSUS SOMETHING YOU MAKE. 00:16:39.766 --> 00:16:43.400 AND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE TWO. SO SOMETIMES 00:16:43.500 --> 00:16:45.666 IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO MAKE PEACE, MEANING YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR 00:16:45.766 --> 00:16:49.399 ENVIRONMENT. SO YEAH, OUR HOME, IT WAS LIKE WE PLAYED WORSHIP 00:16:49.499 --> 00:16:52.366 MUSIC IN OUR HOUSE 24 OVER SEVEN ALL THE TIME. IT WAS LIKE, 00:16:52.466 --> 00:16:54.566 THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT PLAYS IN OUR HOUSE. NO TV, NO 00:16:54.666 --> 00:16:56.633 MOVIES, NO NOTHING. JUST WORSHIP MUSIC. GOT OFF SOCIAL 00:16:56.733 --> 00:16:58.667 MEDIA FOR TEN MONTHS, LIKE ELIMINATED. JUST STUFF THAT 00:16:58.767 --> 00:17:02.533 IT'S LIKE. >> HOW'D YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO? 00:17:02.633 --> 00:17:05.533 >> YEAH, I THINK I ASKED PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, I JUST, I ADMITTED, 00:17:05.633 --> 00:17:07.766 YO, WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? I STARTED GOING TO THERAPY. I 00:17:07.866 --> 00:17:10.700 STARTED TALKING TO MY FRIENDS WHO HAD DEALT WITH STUFF, 00:17:10.800 --> 00:17:13.666 STARTED REACHING OUT TO OTHER PEOPLE I KNEW WHO HAD STRUGGLED 00:17:13.766 --> 00:17:16.666 WITH STUFF. AND I THINK YOU JUST GOT TO ASK FOR HELP. I 00:17:16.766 --> 00:17:19.533 THINK, YOU KNOW, THERE'S THIS, YOU KNOW, WE RAISE OUR KIDS TO 00:17:19.633 --> 00:17:23.467 BE INDEPENDENT, WHICH IS NECESSARY. AND THERE'S A LOT OF 00:17:23.567 --> 00:17:25.600 THINGS IN LIFE THAT YOU CAN'T NAVIGATE BY YOURSELF. AND SO 00:17:25.700 --> 00:17:28.800 YOU HAVE TO LEARN OF LIKE, OH MAN, I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP TO 00:17:28.900 --> 00:17:31.633 FIGURE OUT HOW TO REGULATE, HOW TO HAVE TWO REALLY GOOD FRIENDS 00:17:31.733 --> 00:17:34.600 THAT DO A LOT OF PRACTICE OF SILENCE AND SOLITUDE AND JUST 00:17:34.700 --> 00:17:38.466 BEING QUIET AND LISTENING TO GOD. AND I THINK A LOT OF 00:17:38.566 --> 00:17:41.566 PEOPLE'S TIME WITH GOD IS VERY PERFORMANCE BASED. SO IT'S LIKE, 00:17:41.666 --> 00:17:44.599 HOW MUCH OF THE BIBLE CAN I READ? HOW MUCH LIKE, YOU GOT 00:17:44.699 --> 00:17:47.566 YOUR STREAK ON YOUVERSION? >> YEAH. YEAH, EXACTLY. 00:17:47.666 --> 00:17:50.466 >> AND IT'S LIKE YOU LEAVE FEELING LIKE I DID IT. YEAH. 00:17:50.566 --> 00:17:53.700 VERSUS LIKE I RECEIVED SOMETHING. AND SO FOR ME, I 00:17:53.800 --> 00:17:56.700 STARTED DOING I STILL DO IT TO THIS DAY OF SEVEN MINUTES OF 00:17:56.800 --> 00:18:00.666 JUST SITTING THERE QUIET, JUST NOT SAYING NOTHING, NOT READING 00:18:00.766 --> 00:18:02.633 THE SCRIPTURE, NOT ASKING GOD TO DO NOTHING FOR ME, JUST 00:18:02.733 --> 00:18:05.566 SITTING THERE. >> AND DISCIPLINE SOMETIMES. 00:18:05.666 --> 00:18:06.667 >> YEAH, IT TOOK TIME. IT STARTED OFF AS ONE MINUTE. IT 00:18:06.767 --> 00:18:09.733 STARTED. >> OFF AS LIKE. 00:18:09.833 --> 00:18:11.833 >> I'M JUST LIKE, THIS IS WEIRD. I AIN'T GOT NOTHING I'M GONNA 00:18:11.933 --> 00:18:15.766 BE LIKE. >> BUT IT GREW JUST TO, LIKE, 00:18:15.866 --> 00:18:17.833 I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE AND SEE. AND I THINK THOSE ARE, YOU KNOW, 00:18:17.933 --> 00:18:20.667 SCRIPTURE SAYS HE LEADS ME BESIDE STILL WATERS. YEAH. AND 00:18:20.767 --> 00:18:23.633 I THINK THAT'S THE, THE BEAUTIFUL THING THAT I FOUND. 00:18:23.733 --> 00:18:25.833 BUT IT WAS IT WAS PRACTICE. IT WAS PEOPLE. IT WAS GOD'S 00:18:25.933 --> 00:18:28.699 PRESENCE. AND IT WAS THOSE PRACTICES THAT REALLY HELPED ME 00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:31.766 START TO MOVE FORWARD. >> THAT'S THE THING WITH TRIALS 00:18:31.866 --> 00:18:34.666 AND DIFFICULTIES IS FOR ME, I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO SHIFT PAST 00:18:34.766 --> 00:18:37.533 BECAUSE I USED TO JUST GET CAUGHT UP ON WHY IS THIS 00:18:37.633 --> 00:18:40.633 HAPPENING, AND KIND OF BEING FRUSTRATED WITH THE LORD AND 00:18:40.733 --> 00:18:43.700 THEN LEANING INTO GOD IS GOOD. YEAH. AND HE CAN USE EVEN THESE 00:18:43.800 --> 00:18:47.800 THINGS DON'T EVEN COME FROM HIM, BUT HE CAN USE THESE THINGS TO 00:18:47.900 --> 00:18:49.733 DO SOMETHING GOOD IN YOU AND TO CHANGE THE RHYTHM OF YOUR LIFE. 00:18:49.833 --> 00:18:53.667 AND IT'S ACTUALLY NECESSARY FOR WHAT IS COMING DOWN THE ROAD 00:18:53.767 --> 00:18:54.867 100%. AND SO IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU KIND OF EVEN GOT A CHANGE OF 00:18:54.967 --> 00:18:57.566 PACE. OH YEAH. >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:18:57.666 --> 00:18:59.566 >> YEAH, YEAH. WHICH IS IMPORTANT FOR THE FUTURE AS 00:18:59.666 --> 00:19:02.633 WELL. >> WELL, I THINK IT'S JUST 00:19:02.733 --> 00:19:05.767 IMPORTANT TO JUST EMBRACE WHATEVER SEASON YOU'RE IN AND 00:19:05.867 --> 00:19:09.567 WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD OR NOT. I THINK, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A 00:19:09.667 --> 00:19:12.666 STORY IN THE BIBLE, THE BOOK OF JOB THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T 00:19:12.766 --> 00:19:15.667 EVER TALK ABOUT. BUT IT IS A PART OF THE BIBLE. AND JOB'S 00:19:15.767 --> 00:19:18.733 WIFE, A BUNCH OF TERRIBLE STUFF HAPPENED TO HIM, AND HE'S KIND 00:19:18.833 --> 00:19:21.700 OF MAD, LIKE, YOU KNOW, GOD, WHAT'S GOING ON? AND HIS WIFE 00:19:21.800 --> 00:19:24.700 KIND OF SAYS SOMETHING AND JOB SAYS, SHOULD WE ONLY ACCEPT 00:19:24.800 --> 00:19:29.533 GOOD GIFTS FROM GOD? AND WHAT HE'S SAYING IS LIKE, HEY, HE 00:19:29.633 --> 00:19:32.667 LIKE GAVE ME THE BREATH OF MY LUNGS. AND FOR ME TO SAY IT 00:19:32.767 --> 00:19:36.533 ALWAYS HAS TO BE PERFECT FOR YOU TO BE MY GOD. IT'S KIND OF 00:19:36.633 --> 00:19:39.633 JUST NOT A REAL THING. LIKE, YOU KNOW, STUFF HAPPENS IN LIFE 00:19:39.733 --> 00:19:42.700 AND SOME OF IT IS JUST THE FALLEN WORLD, AND SOME OF IT IS 00:19:42.800 --> 00:19:45.867 THINGS THAT WE CAN'T EXPLAIN AND WE WILL NEVER KNOW UNTIL WE 00:19:45.967 --> 00:19:48.833 GET TO HEAVEN. AND BUT I THINK THE BEAUTY OF LIFE IS ACCEPTING 00:19:48.933 --> 00:19:51.766 THE GOOD AND THE BAD. THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF ANY RELATIONSHIP 00:19:51.866 --> 00:19:54.767 THAT YOU'RE A PART OF, IS I DON'T LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE 00:19:54.867 --> 00:19:57.833 SHE'S PERFECT. I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE I CHOSE TO LOVE HER, 00:19:57.933 --> 00:20:00.567 AND SHE'S WHO I COMMITTED MY LIFE TO, NOT BECAUSE I 00:20:00.667 --> 00:20:02.833 UNDERSTAND HER DECISIONS ALL THE TIME OR IT MAKES SENSE. AND 00:20:02.933 --> 00:20:05.799 I THINK, YOU KNOW, EVERY ILLUSTRATION OF GOD FALLS SHORT 00:20:05.899 --> 00:20:09.700 AT SOME POINT, BUT TO SOME EXTENT, IT'S LIKE I DIDN'T SIGN 00:20:09.800 --> 00:20:11.733 UP TO LOVE GOD BECAUSE HE WOULD GET ME OUT OF HELL AND GIVE ME 00:20:11.833 --> 00:20:13.833 A NEW CAR. LIKE, THAT'S NOT A THING. 00:20:13.933 --> 00:20:16.799 >> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? THERE'S NO. 00:20:16.899 --> 00:20:19.866 >> IT'S JUST I CHOSE TO LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY 00:20:19.966 --> 00:20:22.899 PERSON WHO COULD SAVE ME. AND HE'S THE ONLY PERSON THAT COULD 00:20:23.633 --> 00:20:26.533 CARRY THIS BURDEN THAT I CANNOT CARRY. AND SO THAT MEANS I'M 00:20:26.633 --> 00:20:29.533 GOING TO GO THROUGH HARD THINGS. AND THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH 00:20:29.633 --> 00:20:31.533 THE FACT OF, DO I LOVE GOD? THIS JUST MEANS I'M HAVING 00:20:31.633 --> 00:20:33.900 EXPERIENCING LIFE. AND I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING I'VE 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:37.566 EXPERIENCED TOO, IS SOME PEOPLE IT IN A SENSE, EVERYTHING IS 00:20:37.666 --> 00:20:39.633 LIKE, WELL, GOD IS DOING THIS, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. AND SOME OF 00:20:39.733 --> 00:20:41.866 IT'S LIKE SOME OF IT YOU'RE JUST EXPERIENCING LIFE LIKE, 00:20:41.966 --> 00:20:44.666 YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES. 00:20:44.766 --> 00:20:47.699 AND IT'S NOT THIS TERRIBLE THING. IT'S JUST, MAN, THIS IS 00:20:47.799 --> 00:20:50.967 JUST LIFE. AND AND WE CAN STILL MOVE FORWARD. AND SO YEAH. 00:20:51.067 --> 00:20:52.967 >> YEAH, WE LIVE IN A FALLEN WORLD. AND SOMETIMES IT'S OTHER 00:20:53.067 --> 00:20:56.767 PEOPLE'S DECISIONS THAT WILL AFFECT US BECAUSE EVERYTHING WE 00:20:56.867 --> 00:20:59.699 DO CAN AFFECT AFFECTS OTHER PEOPLE. AND I THINK IN AMERICA 00:20:59.799 --> 00:21:01.833 WE HAVE SUCH AN INDIVIDUAL MINDSET. WE DON'T EVEN REALIZE 00:21:01.933 --> 00:21:05.633 THAT SOMETIMES. YEAH, BUT THAT'S WISDOM TOO. I LOVE WHAT 00:21:05.733 --> 00:21:07.799 YOU SAID ABOUT MARRIAGE, AND I THINK YOU HAVE TO HAVE THAT 00:21:07.899 --> 00:21:10.800 MINDSET WITH EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS GOING TO BE THINGS 00:21:10.900 --> 00:21:13.833 THAT IT'S NOT GOING TO ALWAYS BE PERFECT, AND YOU CAN'T GET 00:21:13.933 --> 00:21:16.900 HUNG UP ON THE THINGS THAT ARE JUST BOTHERING YOU. YEAH. YOU 00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:19.799 KNOW, IT'S GOING TO BE A SNARE IN YOUR MIND. IT'S GOING TO 00:21:19.899 --> 00:21:22.833 AFFECT YOUR MARRIAGE. AND ALSO, YOU KNOW WHAT THE LORD HAS 00:21:22.933 --> 00:21:26.833 SHOWN ME THROUGH STUDYING HIS WORD IS THAT THE BIBLE TALKS 00:21:26.933 --> 00:21:29.866 ABOUT SUFFERING. PAUL TALKS ABOUT SUFFERING, JESUS TALKS 00:21:29.966 --> 00:21:33.600 ABOUT SUFFERING. AND WE, BECAUSE WE LIVE IN AMERICA, OUR 00:21:33.700 --> 00:21:36.599 SUFFERING ISN'T ALWAYS THE SAME AS OTHER PLACES. AND I THINK 00:21:36.699 --> 00:21:38.599 SOMETIMES WE FORGET BUT SUFFER. THERE IS ALSO A PURPOSEFUL 00:21:38.699 --> 00:21:40.666 SUFFERING FOR THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM. 00:21:40.766 --> 00:21:43.633 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> YEAH. AND YOU KNOW, PAUL HAD 00:21:43.733 --> 00:21:46.733 AND WE EXPERIENCED THAT AS TOO, AS AMERICAN CHRISTIANS. BUT 00:21:46.833 --> 00:21:50.600 PAUL, YOU KNOW, BEATEN, IMPRISONED, JESUS DIES ON THE 00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:53.733 CROSS. HE'S THE IT WAS THE ONLY WAY. AND SO SOMETIMES SUFFERING 00:21:53.833 --> 00:21:55.966 IS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR THE KINGDOM. YEAH. YOU KNOW, THE 00:21:56.066 --> 00:21:59.666 BIBLE SAYS THE KINGDOM SUFFERS VIOLENCE AND THE VIOLENT TAKE 00:21:59.766 --> 00:22:02.900 IT BY FORCE. AND SO THERE IS THIS CONCEPT THAT THERE THAT 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:05.800 THERE CAN BE ALSO PURPOSE IN SUFFERING. IF WE CAN JUST LEARN 00:22:05.900 --> 00:22:08.899 TO EMBRACE GOD IN THE MIDST OF IT, KNOWING THAT IT'S FOR A 00:22:08.999 --> 00:22:12.800 GOOD AND UNDERSTANDING THAT PAUL SAYS THAT OUR SUFFERING 00:22:12.900 --> 00:22:15.799 THAT WE ENDURE NOW IS LIGHT AND MOMENTARY COMPARED TO THE GLORY 00:22:15.899 --> 00:22:17.167 THAT'S IN STORE. AND SO HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO HAVE THAT 00:22:17.267 --> 00:22:20.699 ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE? >> ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY. 00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:22.867 >> GOING THROUGH THE HARD. >> YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW, JESUS 00:22:22.967 --> 00:22:25.967 SAYS IN THE SCRIPTURES, HE'S LIKE, IF ANYONE WANTS TO FOLLOW 00:22:26.067 --> 00:22:29.699 ME, YOU GOT TO PICK UP YOUR CROSS DAILY AND FOLLOW ME. AND 00:22:29.799 --> 00:22:32.000 WE HEAR THAT AND WE THINK OF THE CROSS TATTOO. WE'VE SEEN 00:22:32.100 --> 00:22:35.100 THE GOLD NECKLACE WE GOT AT THE BOOKSTORE OR WHATEVER. THEY 00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.866 WOULD HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF JESUS. THE CROSS IS NOT ASSOCIATED 00:22:37.966 --> 00:22:41.733 WITH JESUS AT THIS POINT. IT'S ASSOCIATED WITH THE ROMAN 00:22:41.833 --> 00:22:44.833 GOVERNMENT AND THAT IS HOW THEY TORTURE BAD PEOPLE IN THE CROSS. 00:22:44.933 --> 00:22:47.900 SO THE IMAGERY THEY WOULD HAVE HAD IS NOT THIS LIKE, OH JESUS 00:22:48.733 --> 00:22:49.700 ON THE CROSS, HE'S SAVING US. THEY WOULD HAVE. THOUGHT 00:22:49.800 --> 00:22:52.867 THEY'LL HAVE NO ASSOCIATION WITH JESUS. 00:22:52.967 --> 00:22:54.033 >> IT'S NOT THIS POSITIVE IMAGE. >> NO, IT'S NOT A IT'S A 00:22:54.133 --> 00:22:56.933 TERRIBLE. >> IT'S THE PEOPLE. 00:22:57.033 --> 00:22:59.999 >> YES. IT'S LIKE THAT IS TERRIFYING. WHY IS HE BRINGING 00:23:00.099 --> 00:23:04.000 UP A CROSS LIKE THAT IS WHERE BAD THINGS GO TO DIE. AND 00:23:04.100 --> 00:23:08.867 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. AND SO I THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT A 00:23:08.967 --> 00:23:11.833 OUR FAITH IS MARKED BY A 33 YEAR OLD MAN WHO WAS KILLED FOR 00:23:11.933 --> 00:23:14.167 WHAT? HE SAID. ALL HIS FRIENDS WERE THEN KILLED FOR BELIEVING. 00:23:14.267 --> 00:23:17.766 HE SAID WHAT HE SAID. AND THEN ALL THEIR FOLLOWERS WERE 00:23:17.866 --> 00:23:20.033 PERSECUTED FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED, HE SAID. AND NOW IT'S 00:23:20.133 --> 00:23:23.766 LIKE WHEN THINGS START GOING BAD, IT'S LIKE, WELL, WE MUST 00:23:23.866 --> 00:23:26.867 BE OUT OF GOD'S WILL, IT MUST BE WRONG. AND IT'S LIKE, THAT 00:23:26.967 --> 00:23:29.833 WAS KIND OF THE WHOLE MARKER OF THE THING EARLY ON WAS LIKE, 00:23:29.933 --> 00:23:32.766 PEOPLE WERE GETTING PERSECUTED AND DIED FOR IT. SO NOT TO SAY 00:23:32.866 --> 00:23:35.833 IN THIS GRUESOME THING, BUT IT'S LIKE SUFFERING IS VERY 00:23:35.933 --> 00:23:38.933 MUCH A PART OF IT. AND SOME OF THAT, AGAIN, TO YOUR POINT, IS 00:23:39.033 --> 00:23:41.900 LIKE JUST BECAUSE THE WORLD WE LIVE IN, BUT THEN SOME OF IT IS 00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:45.766 THERE'S ONLY CERTAIN WAYS TO GET CERTAIN THINGS OUT OF YOU. 00:23:45.866 --> 00:23:48.733 MEANING WHEN YOU WORK OUT, THERE'S YOU CAN GO TO THE GYM 00:23:48.833 --> 00:23:50.967 AND JUST LIFT THE 5 POUND DUMBBELLS YOUR WHOLE LIFE, BUT 00:23:51.067 --> 00:23:54.067 THERE ARE CERTAIN PAIN THAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU GET 00:23:54.167 --> 00:23:57.800 MORE WEIGHT. THAT'S JUST THE ONLY WAY TO GET GROWTH IN YOUR 00:23:57.900 --> 00:24:00.966 MUSCLES IS YOU HAVE TO FEEL THAT PAIN, AND TO SAY THAT YOU 00:24:01.066 --> 00:24:03.166 WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT PAIN AND YOU WANT TO FOLLOW 00:24:03.266 --> 00:24:06.000 JESUS IS A LITTLE BIT OF A CONTRADICTORY STATEMENT BECAUSE 00:24:06.100 --> 00:24:08.933 IT'S LIKE, OH YEAH, THAT'S NOT WHAT HE NEVER PROMISED THAT WE 00:24:09.033 --> 00:24:11.933 WOULD NOT HAVE PAIN AND THAT THINGS WOULDN'T BE GOOD. HE 00:24:12.033 --> 00:24:15.033 SAID THE EXACT OPPOSITE. HE'S LIKE, OH YEAH, IN THIS LIFE YOU 00:24:15.133 --> 00:24:17.933 WILL HAVE TROUBLES LIKE THEY HATED ME. THEY'RE GONNA HATE 00:24:18.033 --> 00:24:21.033 YOU. LIKE HE GAVE US ALL THOSE WARNINGS. AND SO I THINK TO ME, 00:24:21.133 --> 00:24:24.833 THAT'S EVEN A PART OF HOW WE PREACH THE BIBLE AND THE GOSPEL, 00:24:24.933 --> 00:24:27.933 EVEN AS A PREACHER IS LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO. I HEARD SOMEBODY 00:24:28.033 --> 00:24:31.067 SAY ONE TIME, HOW YOU CATCH THEM IS HOW YOU GOT TO KEEP 00:24:31.167 --> 00:24:33.866 THEM. AND SO WE LIKE TO CATCH PEOPLE WITH THE SAVIOR THAT 00:24:33.966 --> 00:24:36.899 MAKES YOUR LIFE PERFECT. WELL, THEN WE GOTTA KEEP THEM WITH A 00:24:36.999 --> 00:24:40.000 LIFE THAT IS PERFECT VERSUS LIKE, HEY, LET ME BE. IF YOU 00:24:40.100 --> 00:24:42.933 HEAR ME DO SALVATION CALL, I'LL BE LIKE, HEY, LET ME BE CLEAR 00:24:43.033 --> 00:24:45.933 WITH YOU. THIS ISN'T GOING TO FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, YOUR 00:24:46.033 --> 00:24:49.000 LIFE. YOU CAN WAKE UP TOMORROW AND STILL HAVE BILLS AND STILL 00:24:49.100 --> 00:24:51.967 BE MAD AT YOUR HUSBAND. LIKE SO. DON'T DON'T LIKE, DON'T LET ME 00:24:52.067 --> 00:24:55.933 SELL YOU ON. JESUS IS GOING TO TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY. WHAT I 00:24:56.033 --> 00:24:59.000 WILL SAY YOU ON IT SELL YOU ON IS. HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN 00:24:59.100 --> 00:25:02.033 HELP YOU CARRY THIS WEIGHT. HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHOW 00:25:02.133 --> 00:25:04.200 YOU WHO YOU REALLY ARE. HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT'LL BE THERE 00:25:04.300 --> 00:25:07.100 FOR YOU WHEN THIS HAPPENS AGAIN. >> NO MATTER WHAT. 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:10.067 >> NO MATTER WHAT. AND I. >> THE ONLY ONE. 00:25:10.167 --> 00:25:12.367 >> YEAH, THE ONLY ONE. AND I THINK WE'VE SEEN A LOT OF 00:25:12.467 --> 00:25:15.100 PEOPLE WALK AWAY FROM THEIR FAITH, DECONSTRUCT THEIR FAITH, 00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:17.967 BECAUSE SOME OF THE PREMISES THEY WERE SOLD WEREN'T COMPLETE. 00:25:18.067 --> 00:25:21.033 YOU KNOW, LIKE EXPECTATIONS. YES. YOU HAVE KIDS. LIKE I TELL 00:25:21.133 --> 00:25:24.000 MY SON RIGHT NOW, HIS RULE IS DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE, I DON'T 00:25:24.100 --> 00:25:27.167 CARE. DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE. WELL, IF HE TAKES IF THAT'S THE 00:25:27.267 --> 00:25:29.333 ONLY UNDERSTANDING I EVER GIVE HIM, HE WILL BE 40 YEARS OLD 00:25:29.433 --> 00:25:32.900 AND NEVER HAVE COOKED A MEAL. BECAUSE THE ONLY UNDERSTANDING 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:36.000 I GAVE HIM WAS NEVER TOUCH A STOVE VERSUS HEY, THE REASON I 00:25:36.100 --> 00:25:39.000 TELL YOU NOT TO TOUCH A STOVE NOW IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE 00:25:39.100 --> 00:25:42.967 THE MATURITY TO KNOW, OH, MOM OR DAD MIGHT HAVE JUST BEEN 00:25:43.067 --> 00:25:45.966 USING IT, OR IT'S ON OR IT'S OFF. AND SO AT THIS LEVEL, WHAT 00:25:46.066 --> 00:25:48.933 YOU NEED TO KNOW IS DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE. BUT THE TRUTH IS, AT 00:25:49.033 --> 00:25:50.233 SOME POINT I NEED TO TEACH YOU HOW TO DO THIS. AND SIMILARLY, 00:25:50.333 --> 00:25:51.499 IF YOU TELL PEOPLE A GOSPEL THAT'S LIKE, HEY, GOD'S GOING 00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:52.800 TO SAVE YOU AND EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE GOOD, IT'S LIKE, 00:25:52.900 --> 00:25:55.133 WELL, IMMEDIATELY, YES, IT'S GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE ETERNITY 00:25:55.233 --> 00:26:00.233 IS SECURE. AND, YOU KNOW, I'M SAYING BUT LIKE ALSO IT MIGHT 00:26:00.333 --> 00:26:01.033 BE BAD. SO YEAH, IT'S JUST. >> IT MIGHT GET HARDER A LITTLE 00:26:01.133 --> 00:26:04.066 BIT. >> YEAH. YEAH, 100%. 00:26:04.166 --> 00:26:07.033 >> SPEAKING OF AND THERE'S SPIRITUAL WARFARE AS WELL. AND 00:26:07.133 --> 00:26:10.000 I MEAN, YOU WENT THROUGH IT WRITING THIS BOOK. 00:26:10.100 --> 00:26:12.333 >> YEAH. >> YEAH. I MEAN SOME SERIOUS 00:26:12.433 --> 00:26:15.500 STUFF. TELL TELL US WHAT HAPPENED. 00:26:15.600 --> 00:26:17.233 >> WHICH PART ARE YOU REFERRING TO? THERE'S A LOT OF THERE'S A 00:26:17.333 --> 00:26:19.400 LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS, I THINK. YEAH. 00:26:19.500 --> 00:26:22.166 >> YEAH, YEAH. I WAS THINKING OF THE ACCIDENT. 00:26:22.266 --> 00:26:24.400 >> OH, YEAH? YEAH, YEAH. >> WELL, I THINK. 00:26:24.500 --> 00:26:27.166 >> BUT IF YOU WANT TO INCLUDE ANYTHING ELSE. 00:26:27.266 --> 00:26:30.300 >> NO NO NO NO NO. WELL, I JUST THINK I. 00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:32.200 >> THINK ANYTHING YOU GO TO DO, ANYTIME YOU GO TO DO SOMETHING, 00:26:32.300 --> 00:26:36.133 THEY'RE JUST ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES FOR THERE'S 00:26:36.233 --> 00:26:39.099 ALWAYS AN EXIT TO QUIT IS THE WAY I WOULD PUT IT. ANYTIME 00:26:39.199 --> 00:26:42.200 YOU'RE ON THE HIGHWAY OF TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE, THERE'S 00:26:42.300 --> 00:26:47.966 ALWAYS AN OPTION TO GET OFF. AND I THINK ONE THING THAT 00:26:48.066 --> 00:26:53.166 HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS SEASON WAS I'M AN AVID CYCLIST 00:26:53.266 --> 00:26:56.199 OR I 150, 200 MILES A WEEK RACE BIKES HAVE A RACE COMING UP A 00:26:56.299 --> 00:26:59.233 COUPLE OF WEEKS, SO IT'S JUST SOMETHING I LOVE TO DO. I 00:26:59.333 --> 00:27:02.133 STARTED DOING THAT. THAT WAS ONE OF THE THINGS I STARTED 00:27:02.233 --> 00:27:05.233 DOING OUT OF DEPRESSION. EXERCISE IS SUPER GOOD FOR YOU. 00:27:05.333 --> 00:27:09.099 AND SO I STARTED DOING THAT AND JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH IT AND 00:27:09.199 --> 00:27:12.200 GOT OBSESSED WITH IT. AND SO BUT I WAS ON A RIDE AND LONG 00:27:12.300 --> 00:27:15.233 STORY SHORT, GOT HIT BY A CAR GOING 40 MILES AN HOUR. WHAT? 00:27:15.333 --> 00:27:18.367 AND. YEAH YEAH YEAH. AND GOT. >> WAIT HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD 00:27:18.467 --> 00:27:21.199 ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY 00:27:21.299 --> 00:27:24.167 KNOW THE STORY LIKE LITERALLY A MILLION TIMES, BUT I NEED 00:27:24.267 --> 00:27:25.300 DETAILS. DID YOU. SO, LIKE, YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE 00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:29.200 CAR. >> YEAH. YEAH. SO I. 00:27:29.300 --> 00:27:32.233 >> WAS I WAS GOING DOWN THE ROAD. I DO A RIDE EVERY SINGLE 00:27:32.333 --> 00:27:35.166 MORNING WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS. AND SO THERE'S A SPOT WHERE WE 00:27:35.266 --> 00:27:38.300 SPLIT UP THAT'S LIKE, EVERYBODY GOES TO THEIR HOUSE. AND SO I 00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:41.333 WAS JUST A COUPLE MINUTES AWAY FROM MY HOME, AND I WAS RIDING 00:27:41.433 --> 00:27:44.167 DOWN THIS ROAD. I SIGNALED, HEY, I'M ABOUT TO TURN LEFT. LOOK 00:27:44.267 --> 00:27:47.266 BEHIND ME. NOBODY'S BACK THERE. SIGNALED AGAIN, LOOK BACK. THE 00:27:47.366 --> 00:27:51.100 CAR IS BACK, BUT STILL PRETTY FAR BACK. AND SO I SIGNAL AGAIN, 00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:54.366 AND WHEN I GO TO TURN, THE CAR IS RIGHT THERE AND JUST HIT ME 00:27:54.466 --> 00:27:58.200 AND I FALL OVER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, PASS OUT. MY FRIEND 00:27:58.300 --> 00:28:01.533 IS DRIVING BY AND SEES ME LAID IN THE DITCH LIKE IT'S A ROAD, 00:28:01.633 --> 00:28:03.833 BUT LIKE LAID ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. HE GETS OUT OF THE 00:28:03.933 --> 00:28:05.066 CAR. THE PERSON WHO HIT ME GETS OUT OF THE CAR AND THEY GO TO 00:28:05.166 --> 00:28:06.367 PICK ME UP AND I'M JUST OUT. AND SO THEY PUT ME IN MY 00:28:06.467 --> 00:28:07.600 FRIEND'S CAR. HE DRIVES ME TO THE ER. I KIND OF COME TO IN 00:28:07.700 --> 00:28:10.199 THE CAR RIDE AND YEAH, I HAD A I DON'T KNOW, IT'S LIKE A 00:28:10.299 --> 00:28:12.366 LEVELS OF CONCUSSION BUT I REALLY, REALLY BAD CONCUSSION. 00:28:12.466 --> 00:28:15.300 >> REALLY. >> NO BROKEN BONES, ANYTHING 00:28:15.400 --> 00:28:18.199 HAD TERRIBLE SCAR. LIKE I HAVE SCARS ON THE BACK OF MY LEGS 00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:21.133 AND STUFF FROM FALLING AND STUFF MY ELBOWS. BUT YEAH, SO 00:28:21.233 --> 00:28:25.133 THAT HAPPENED. AND DURING THIS TIME I'M WRITING THE BOOK. THE 00:28:25.233 --> 00:28:28.200 BOOK WAS DUE AT THAT POINT IN EIGHT WEEKS, AND I HAD ABOUT 00:28:28.300 --> 00:28:31.500 FOUR CHAPTERS DONE. IT WAS ALREADY A CRUNCH TO GET THE 00:28:31.600 --> 00:28:35.266 BOOK DONE, BUT I WAS AT THAT TIME TOOK ME OUT FOR FIVE WEEKS 00:28:35.366 --> 00:28:38.233 BECAUSE FOR TWO WEEKS I, LIKE LOST MY MEMORY AND WAS TRYING 00:28:38.333 --> 00:28:41.267 TO REMEMBER WHERE I WAS. SO ANYWAYS, JUST A TERRIBLE HAD TO 00:28:41.367 --> 00:28:44.333 DO A BUNCH OF THERAPY AND STUFF LIKE THAT. SO ANYWAYS, YEAH, 00:28:44.433 --> 00:28:46.333 THAT THAT HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND I THINK WHICH 00:28:46.433 --> 00:28:49.366 I MAYBE SHARE A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE ON THIS, BUT I 00:28:49.466 --> 00:28:53.133 THINK SOME THINGS ARE A MATTER OF HOW YOU, SOME THINGS, I 00:28:53.233 --> 00:28:56.100 THINK ALL THINGS ARE A MATTER OF HOW YOU VIEW THEM. AND SO I 00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:59.267 THINK THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT THERE'S, THERE IS A WORLD 00:28:59.367 --> 00:29:02.366 WHERE I WOULD VIEW THAT AS LIKE, OH MAN, THAT WAS A SPIRITUAL 00:29:02.466 --> 00:29:06.166 ATTACK AND TRYING TO GET ME OFF. AND THERE'S ALSO A WORLD WHERE 00:29:06.266 --> 00:29:09.399 I VIEW IT AS THAT'S JUST, I RIDE BIKES AND I RIDE IN THE 00:29:09.499 --> 00:29:12.366 MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. AND SO THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO 00:29:12.466 --> 00:29:15.333 HAVE GOT HIT BY BIKES. AND I SAY THAT TO SAY I THERE IS 00:29:15.433 --> 00:29:18.333 SOMETIMES I THINK, A PRESSURE THAT CAN COME WITH LIKE, OH 00:29:18.433 --> 00:29:20.566 GOSH, THIS WAS LIKE THE DEVIL ATTACKING ME AND WHAT WAS GOING 00:29:20.666 --> 00:29:23.200 TO HAPPEN. AND ABSOLUTELY 1,000% THERE, SPIRITUAL WARFARE. 00:29:23.300 --> 00:29:26.200 AND THERE'S THINGS THAT I'VE EXPERIENCED THAT IT'S LIKE, OH 00:29:26.300 --> 00:29:28.333 MY GOSH. AND THERE ARE SOME TIMES WHERE I'M LIKE, THIS IS 00:29:28.433 --> 00:29:33.266 JUST A REALLY DIFFICULT SITUATION. AND THIS IS A. 00:29:33.366 --> 00:29:36.299 >> BAD THING AT THE WRONG TIME. >> AND I'M ALSO I CAN ALSO THEN 00:29:36.399 --> 00:29:40.133 TAKE FROM IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. SO LIKE IN THAT I 00:29:40.233 --> 00:29:42.567 LEARNED IT WAS VERY COOL THING. BUT LIKE I'M STRUGGLING WITH MY 00:29:42.667 --> 00:29:46.133 MENTAL CLARITY AND I HAVE TO FINISH THE BOOK AND THE 00:29:46.233 --> 00:29:49.133 PUBLISHERS ARE LIKE, HEY, YOU KNOW, GOT HIT BY A CAR, SO CAN 00:29:49.233 --> 00:29:52.133 WE ADJUST THE DATE? AND THEY'RE LIKE, WE CAN. WE'LL JUST HAVE 00:29:52.233 --> 00:29:55.266 TO DELAY THE RELEASE OF YOUR BOOK. AND I REALLY NEEDED TO 00:29:55.366 --> 00:29:58.167 COME AT A CERTAIN TIME. AND SO BUT I FOUND THROUGH THAT WHAT 00:29:58.267 --> 00:30:01.233 I'M SAYING IS THERE ARE SITUATIONS IN YOUR LIFE, IF YOU 00:30:01.333 --> 00:30:04.300 WILL LET THEM, YOU CAN FIND VALUE FROM THEM. AND ONE OF THE 00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:07.167 THINGS I FOUND IS I FOUND THIS QUOTE ONE DAY AND IT WAS 00:30:07.267 --> 00:30:09.300 TALKING ABOUT WRITING AND IT SAID AMATEURS WRITE WHEN THEY 00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:12.333 FEEL LIKE IT. PROFESSIONALS WRITE WHETHER THEY FEEL LIKE IT 00:30:12.433 --> 00:30:15.500 OR NOT. AND FROM ON MY SCREENSAVER FOR FOUR WEEKS WAS 00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:18.167 IT JUST WAS A BLACK SCREEN, WHITE WORDS. IT SAYS AMATEURS 00:30:18.267 --> 00:30:21.400 WRITE WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT. PROFESSIONALS WRITE WHETHER 00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:25.367 THEY FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT. I AM A PROFESSIONAL AND WHAT I FOUND 00:30:25.467 --> 00:30:28.366 WAS THAT WAS THE ABILITY AND DISCIPLINE TO JUST DECIDE SOME 00:30:28.466 --> 00:30:32.200 STUFF. AND I THINK THERE ARE MANY THINGS IN LIFE THAT WE 00:30:32.300 --> 00:30:36.167 WAIT TO FEEL, TO THEN DO, RATHER THAN JUST TO DECIDE. SO 00:30:36.267 --> 00:30:40.200 IT'S LIKE, I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING A PATIENT FATHER, BUT I 00:30:40.300 --> 00:30:43.266 HAVE DECIDED I AM A PATIENT FATHER SO I CAN MAKE A DECISION, 00:30:43.366 --> 00:30:46.200 EVEN THOUGH I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD DO. AND I 00:30:46.300 --> 00:30:49.233 THINK MANY PEOPLE ARE. DECISIONS ARE DRIVEN BY OUR 00:30:49.333 --> 00:30:53.133 FEELINGS. WELL, I DON'T FEEL LIKE READ MY BIBLE. I WAS LIKE, 00:30:53.233 --> 00:30:55.300 OKAY, COOL. LIKE YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID AND SHOULD NOT BE A 00:30:55.400 --> 00:30:58.199 PART OF THE EQUATION. WHEN YOU'RE DECIDING THE MOST 00:30:58.299 --> 00:31:01.333 VALUABLE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE, YOU WON'T ALWAYS FEEL LIKE 00:31:01.433 --> 00:31:04.400 BEING KIND TO YOUR SPOUSE OR DOING WHAT GOD ASKED YOU TO DO. 00:31:04.500 --> 00:31:08.300 BUT ALL THAT TO SAY THAT SEASON, THAT'S THE LESSON I DREW FROM 00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:12.233 IT. SO WHEN I LOOK BACK ON THAT, IT WAS LIKE, MAN, I RIDE MY 00:31:12.333 --> 00:31:14.400 BIKE, I GET HIT BY A CAR. IT'S A CRAZY STORY TO TELL, BUT I 00:31:14.500 --> 00:31:17.233 LEARNED I CAN MAKE SOME DISCIPLINED DECISIONS THAT ARE 00:31:17.333 --> 00:31:19.233 GREATER THAN HOW I FEEL. AND THAT'S A VERY EMPOWERING THING 00:31:19.333 --> 00:31:21.533 TO LEARN. >> AND YOU ALSO, DIDN'T YOU 00:31:21.633 --> 00:31:23.267 LEARN THAT IT'S LIKE YOU WANT TO LIVE BOLDLY FROM THAT 00:31:23.367 --> 00:31:26.400 EXPERIENCE. >> AS WELL? ABSOLUTELY. 00:31:26.500 --> 00:31:29.366 >> WELL, I JUST THINK FROM THAT IT IS PRACTICALLY IT WAS JUST A 00:31:29.466 --> 00:31:32.433 OH, MAN, THIS WAS A SUPER TRAUMATIC THING. AND SO I LOVE 00:31:32.533 --> 00:31:36.333 RIDING MY BIKE AND IT'S ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS. BUT 00:31:36.433 --> 00:31:39.300 NOW THERE'S A LEVEL OF FEAR OF LIKE, OH GEEZ, IF I GO BACK OUT 00:31:39.400 --> 00:31:42.466 THERE, AM I GONNA HIT AGAIN? AND THAT WAS JUST TERRIBLE. AND 00:31:42.566 --> 00:31:45.333 I THINK WE ALL HAVE MOMENTS IN LIFE WHERE WE CAN DECIDE THAT, 00:31:45.433 --> 00:31:48.433 LIKE, IS ONE EXPERIENCE GOING TO DECIDE HOW YOU LIVE? AND I 00:31:48.533 --> 00:31:50.533 THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, THEY MAYBE HAVE EXPERIENCES THAT 00:31:50.633 --> 00:31:54.400 WERE DIFFICULT. THEY HAD A PAIN, A BETRAYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. 00:31:54.500 --> 00:31:57.300 AND SO THE WAY WE COPE WITH IT IS, OH, THAT FRIEND HURT ME, SO 00:31:57.400 --> 00:32:00.367 I JUST WON'T HAVE FRIENDS ANYMORE. OR I WENT THROUGH A 00:32:00.467 --> 00:32:03.400 DIVORCE SO I JUST WON'T LOVE AGAIN. OR I GOT DISAPPOINTED, 00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:05.667 SO I WON'T HOPE AGAIN. AND IT JUST WHAT IT IS, IS A 00:32:05.767 --> 00:32:08.633 TEMPTATION TO MAKE YOUR WORLD SMALLER AND YOU JUST SLOWLY 00:32:08.733 --> 00:32:13.400 SHRINK TO THIS LITTLE VERSION OF LIFE THAT IS NOT REALLY FULL 00:32:13.500 --> 00:32:17.533 OF RISK, NOT FULL OF JOY. AND FOR ME, IT WAS JUST LIKE, MAN, 00:32:17.633 --> 00:32:20.466 I DON'T WANT TO LET THIS, YOU KNOW, PRACTICALLY IT WAS RIDING 00:32:20.566 --> 00:32:24.299 MY BIKE, BUT MENTALLY IT WAS JUST TAKING RISKS AND DOING 00:32:24.399 --> 00:32:29.300 STUFF YOU LOVE. AND I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, ONE THING I 00:32:29.400 --> 00:32:32.299 WOULD SAY I PREACHED A SERMON A COUPLE WEEKS AGO TALKING ABOUT 00:32:32.399 --> 00:32:35.300 LIKE NOT BEING AFRAID TO DIE. AND THERE'S A SCRIPTURE IN 00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:38.466 HEBREWS THAT SAID, PRETTY MUCH GOD DIED SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO 00:32:38.566 --> 00:32:42.466 LIVE AS SLAVES TO THE FEAR OF DEATH. AND, YOU KNOW, THE 00:32:42.566 --> 00:32:46.266 ULTIMATE CARD THAT GOD GIVES US IS THAT WHATEVER WHAT THE 00:32:46.366 --> 00:32:49.333 GREATEST FEAR IN HUMAN HISTORY IS, IS WE DON'T HAVE TO BE 00:32:49.433 --> 00:32:53.266 AFRAID OF. WE DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO DIE. BECAUSE WHEN YOU 00:32:53.366 --> 00:32:55.333 DIE, YOU GET TO SEE ME. AND I THINK MANY PEOPLE I SAID IN MY 00:32:55.433 --> 00:32:58.433 SERMON THAT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING ALIVE 00:32:58.533 --> 00:33:01.400 AND CHOOSING TO LIVE. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE SETTLE FOR JUST BEING 00:33:01.500 --> 00:33:04.467 ALIVE. IT'S JUST. I'M JUST GONNA MAKE IT. I JUST GOTTA 00:33:04.567 --> 00:33:07.567 SURVIVE. IF I CAN JUST PAY THE BILLS AND JUST, YOU KNOW, I 00:33:07.667 --> 00:33:10.566 JUST DON'T WANT TO GET HURT. I DON'T WANT TO FALL. I DON'T 00:33:10.666 --> 00:33:14.600 WANT TO, AND I JUST. IT'S. YOU'RE GOING TO MISS OUT ON A 00:33:14.700 --> 00:33:17.467 LOT OF LIFE DOING IT THAT WAY. YOU GOT TO CHOOSE TO LIVE AND 00:33:17.567 --> 00:33:20.566 LIVE BOLDLY AND OUTRAGEOUSLY AND LOVE. AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST 00:33:20.666 --> 00:33:23.533 THINK YOU HAVE TO ELIMINATE A LOT OF LIFE TO STAY SAFE IS THE 00:33:23.633 --> 00:33:25.567 TRUTH. YOU'RE SAYING, LIKE, IF YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO FALL, 00:33:25.667 --> 00:33:29.466 DON'T EVER RIDE A BIKE. >> DON'T EVER. 00:33:29.566 --> 00:33:31.566 >> DO LIKE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET HURT, DON'T EVER LOVE 00:33:31.666 --> 00:33:34.567 ANYBODY. AND IF YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE PAIN, DON'T 00:33:34.667 --> 00:33:37.433 EVER TRY ANYTHING. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE LIVE THAT WAY BECAUSE 00:33:37.533 --> 00:33:40.433 THEY JUST DON'T LIKE. BUT THE TRUTH IS, YOU'RE GOING TO 00:33:40.533 --> 00:33:42.566 EXPERIENCE PAIN. BUT THAT'S LIKE THE BEAUTY OF LIFE IS IS 00:33:42.666 --> 00:33:45.533 BOTH OF THEM. >> SO WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO 00:33:45.633 --> 00:33:47.533 SOMEONE IF THEY WERE ALLOWING FEAR TO HOLD THEM BACK FROM 00:33:47.633 --> 00:33:52.333 WALKING WHAT GOD HAS FOR THEM? >> YEAH. 00:33:52.433 --> 00:33:56.533 >> I WOULD SAY LOOK AT THE FRUIT OF YOUR FEAR AND ASK 00:33:56.633 --> 00:34:02.467 YOURSELF, DO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW? DO I LOVE 00:34:02.567 --> 00:34:05.600 THIS? DO I LOVE HOW FEAR MAKES ME FEEL? DO I LOVE FEELING LIKE 00:34:05.700 --> 00:34:08.666 I CAN'T WAKE UP TOMORROW AND SOMETHING'S GOING TO GO? LIKE, 00:34:08.766 --> 00:34:11.633 WE GOT TO BE HONEST ABOUT THOSE THINGS, BECAUSE I THINK SOME OF 00:34:11.733 --> 00:34:15.667 US, WE HAVE MECHANISMS THAT WE THINK KEEP US SAFE, BUT THEY 00:34:15.767 --> 00:34:18.700 REALLY KEEP US IN BONDAGE. LIKE FEAR FEELS LIKE SOME PEOPLE 00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:22.600 FEEL LIKE. AND I KNOW THIS FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE, FROM PEOPLE 00:34:22.700 --> 00:34:25.633 I KNOW AND LOVE, THAT IT'S LIKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE, OH, FEAR AND 00:34:25.733 --> 00:34:28.699 ANXIETY IS LIKE A PROTECTION THING BECAUSE I'M THINKING OF 00:34:28.799 --> 00:34:31.666 ALL THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOMES. AND THE TRUTH IS, IT'S LIKE, OH 00:34:31.766 --> 00:34:34.433 NO, IT'S TRYING TO KEEP YOU BOUND LIKE YOU THINK YOU'RE 00:34:34.533 --> 00:34:36.600 THINKING THROUGH ALL THE WORST CASE SCENARIOS. BUT WHAT YOU'RE 00:34:36.700 --> 00:34:38.467 DOING IS NEVER BEING PRESENT BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THINKING 00:34:38.567 --> 00:34:41.433 ABOUT TOMORROW, WHAT'S GOING TO GO WRONG. 00:34:41.533 --> 00:34:44.600 >> IT'S THE WORST. >> AND SO I JUST THINK YOU HAVE 00:34:44.700 --> 00:34:47.767 TO BE ASK YOURSELF, LIKE, DO I LOVE THIS? DO I LOVE HOW FEAR 00:34:47.867 --> 00:34:51.433 MAKES ME FEEL? AND DO I LOVE THE WAY I MAKE DECISIONS WHEN 00:34:51.533 --> 00:34:53.766 I'M AFRAID? IF THE ANSWER IS NO, THEN THE BEAUTIFUL THING IS YOU 00:34:53.866 --> 00:34:56.633 HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A DECISION. YOU CAN DECIDE, HEY, 00:34:56.733 --> 00:35:00.633 FEAR DOESN'T RUN MY LIFE ANYMORE. AND THAT IS, I THINK, 00:35:00.733 --> 00:35:02.900 THE BOLD WAY I WOULD SAY IT IS. IT IS A DECISION. IT IS. IT'S 00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:06.533 REALLY THAT SIMPLE. IT'S AN EMPOWERED DECISION BY THE HOLY 00:35:06.633 --> 00:35:09.700 SPIRIT. BUT IT IS A DECISION. IT IS I DO NOT. SOMETHING WE 00:35:09.800 --> 00:35:13.533 SAY TO OUR KIDS ALL THE TIME IS DON'T GIVE YOUR DAY AWAY. AND 00:35:13.633 --> 00:35:14.633 WHAT THAT MEANS IS, IS IF I WALK IN A ROOM AND YOU SAY 00:35:14.900 --> 00:35:17.733 SOMETHING AND I THEN BREAK DOWN CRYING, OR I GET FRUSTRATED AND 00:35:17.833 --> 00:35:20.899 I'M FRUSTRATED THE REST OF THE DAY, I GAVE MY DAY TO YOU AND 00:35:20.999 --> 00:35:23.700 YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF HOW MY DAY GOES, BECAUSE YOU ARE 00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:27.600 ALLOWED TO SAY SOMETHING THAT CHANGES MY ATTITUDE AND RUINS 00:35:27.700 --> 00:35:30.633 THE REST OF MY DAY. I JUST GAVE YOU MY DAY AND I DON'T WANT 00:35:30.733 --> 00:35:33.733 NOBODY ELSE HAVING POWER OVER MY DAY. I WANT TO DECIDE HOW MY 00:35:33.833 --> 00:35:37.566 DAY GOES SO WE DON'T GIVE OUR DAY AWAY. LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT 00:35:37.666 --> 00:35:39.800 I'M SAYING? I DON'T GIVE MY DAY AWAY TO FEAR. I CAN HAVE A 00:35:39.900 --> 00:35:43.566 MOMENT OF BEING AFRAID. THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S HUMAN. BUT LIKE, 00:35:43.666 --> 00:35:45.600 I'M NOT GOING TO WALK IN FEAR OR ANXIETY OR I DON'T, I DON'T 00:35:45.700 --> 00:35:48.766 I DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY DAY AWAY. 00:35:48.866 --> 00:35:51.633 >> SO DID YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO GET BACK AND KEEP WRITING? I 00:35:51.733 --> 00:35:54.833 THINK YOU SAID YOU HAVE, YES. >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. I 00:35:54.933 --> 00:35:57.867 STILL I TOOK TIME OFF JUST SO NOW IT'S THINGS BUT MY HIP POPS 00:35:57.967 --> 00:36:00.967 EVERY TIME I PEDAL. SO THAT'S JUST A LEFTOVER FROM GETTING 00:36:01.067 --> 00:36:03.800 HIT BY A CAR. BUT SO I. >> BUT YOU'RE STILL DOING IT. 00:36:03.900 --> 00:36:07.700 >> YEAH. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. >> THAT'S AWESOME. ONE OF THE 00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:09.900 THINGS I FEEL AND IF I'M OFF BECAUSE I JUST THIS IS WHAT I'M 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:12.233 FEELING FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT. AND IF YOU'RE LIKE, I DON'T 00:36:12.333 --> 00:36:13.633 WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS, WE CAN NOT TALK ABOUT IT. BUT I DO 00:36:13.733 --> 00:36:14.566 FEEL LIKE YOU FACE SPIRITUAL WARFARE WRITING THIS BOOK. 00:36:14.666 --> 00:36:15.867 >> YEAH. >> WHAT WHAT WAS THAT? BECAUSE 00:36:15.967 --> 00:36:16.900 I FEEL LIKE IT WAS, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE, SIGNIFICANT FOR YOU. 00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:20.000 AND IF THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT FROM THAT. 00:36:20.100 --> 00:36:24.700 I THINK THIS WAS A LABOR OF >> NO. YEAH. I THINK NO. FOR ME, 00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:27.733 LOVE. LIKE I THINK IT WAS A BATTLE TO GET OUT AND JUST 00:36:27.833 --> 00:36:31.833 UNDERSTANDING, YOU KNOW, THE VALUE OF THAT. I THINK THE BIG 00:36:31.933 --> 00:36:34.766 THING IS IN WRITING A BOOK IS ASKING AND NOT JUST WRITING A 00:36:34.866 --> 00:36:37.833 BOOK, BUT DOING ANYTHING IS ASKING, WHAT AM I DOING THIS 00:36:37.933 --> 00:36:40.767 FOR? AND WHAT DO I EXPECT FROM THIS? AND I THINK THAT'S A 00:36:40.867 --> 00:36:43.700 LEVEL OF OF MAYBE SPIRITUAL WARFARE YOU CAN FACE OF LIKE IN 00:36:43.800 --> 00:36:46.633 YOUR MIND OF JUST, YOU KNOW, QUESTIONS AND IDEAS AND 00:36:46.733 --> 00:36:48.800 WONDERING WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN AND IS IT GOING TO BE 00:36:48.900 --> 00:36:50.900 GOOD. >> AND SO IT WAS LIKE A MENTAL 00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:52.900 BATTLE. YEAH, YEAH. IS IT YOUR FIRST BOOK? 00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:55.833 >> YES. >> YEAH. OKAY. SO IT'S THAT 00:36:55.933 --> 00:36:58.000 FIRST. SO THE ENEMY IS PROBABLY TRYING TO STOP YOU THAT IN 00:36:58.100 --> 00:37:00.033 THERE BECAUSE THEY'LL PROBABLY BE OTHER BOOKS AS WELL. 00:37:00.133 --> 00:37:03.000 >> YEAH. YEAH YEAH I THINK IT IS. 00:37:03.100 --> 00:37:05.900 >> A WERE YOU AFRAID HOW IT WAS GOING TO PERFORM. 00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:08.866 >> I THINK A LITTLE I THINK YEAH, THAT'S JUST A HUMAN 00:37:08.966 --> 00:37:11.933 EXPERIENCE. I THINK IN THAT WAY. YEAH. I DEFINITELY FELT LIKE, 00:37:12.033 --> 00:37:15.733 MAN, HOW'S IT GONNA GO? IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD AND STUFF. BUT 00:37:15.833 --> 00:37:18.867 I THINK FOR ME, AGAIN, I'M BIG ON A FRIEND THAT I HAVE IS 00:37:18.967 --> 00:37:22.733 REALLY LIKE A BEST FRIEND AND A COACH AND IN MY LIFE AND WE 00:37:22.833 --> 00:37:25.733 JUST TALK A LOT ABOUT WHAT MAYBE WOULD BE CONSIDERED 00:37:25.833 --> 00:37:28.933 UNREASONABLE RESPONSIBILITY, WHICH WOULD BE NOT UNREASONABLE 00:37:29.033 --> 00:37:30.833 IN A NEGATIVE WAY. BUT I'LL REFRAME IT. IT WOULD BE RADICAL 00:37:30.933 --> 00:37:32.933 RESPONSIBILITY, WHICH. >> IS I LOVE. 00:37:33.033 --> 00:37:37.733 >> THAT I AM EXPERIENCING LIFE EXACTLY HOW I CHOOSE TO 00:37:37.833 --> 00:37:39.933 EXPERIENCE IT. MEANING, IF I CHOOSE TO FEEL LIKE THIS IS A 00:37:40.033 --> 00:37:43.700 BAD DAY, IT'S GOING TO GO TERRIBLE. THAT WAS MY CHOICE 00:37:43.800 --> 00:37:46.900 AND I DECIDED THAT. BUT IF I ALSO CHOOSE TO SAY IT'S GONNA 00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:50.799 BE A GREAT DAY AND THINGS MIGHT NOT GO HOW I WANT TO, BUT I'M 00:37:50.899 --> 00:37:52.933 GONNA STILL BRING MY BEST ATTITUDE, AND I AM IN CONTROL 00:37:53.033 --> 00:37:56.033 OF HOW I EXPERIENCE MY DAY. AND I THINK CULTURALLY, MAYBE I 00:37:56.133 --> 00:37:59.066 WOULD SUBMIT THAT THERE'S BEEN A BEEN TO OUTWARD PROJECTION OF, 00:37:59.166 --> 00:38:03.867 WELL, THEY DID THIS TO ME AND THEY DID THAT, AND THEY'RE 00:38:03.967 --> 00:38:06.900 DOING THIS. AND SO NOW I CAN'T HAVE A GOOD DAY. AND IT'S LIKE, 00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:09.900 MAN, THAT'S A, THAT'S A VERY. SO YOU JUST WAKE UP EVERY DAY 00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:12.967 DEPENDING ON OTHER PEOPLE IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY 00:38:13.067 --> 00:38:15.067 OR NOT. THAT SEEMS TERRIBLE. LIKE I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO 00:38:15.167 --> 00:38:18.067 DO THAT BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE INCONSISTENT AND MY WIFE'S 00:38:18.167 --> 00:38:20.999 GONNA FRUSTRATE ME, BUT KIDS ARE GONNA GET ON MY NERVES AND 00:38:21.099 --> 00:38:24.900 MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA MAKE A DECISION I DON'T AGREE WITH. 00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:28.833 AND SO IF IT'S ON THEM FOR ME TO HAVE A GOOD DAY, I DON'T 00:38:28.933 --> 00:38:31.066 THINK I WANT TO DO THAT. AND SO ALL THAT TO SAY, I THINK THE 00:38:31.166 --> 00:38:34.033 WORK OF EVEN A BELIEVER IS TAKING ALL OUR VALIDATION 00:38:34.133 --> 00:38:37.067 METERS FROM THE OUTSIDE TO THE INSIDE. AND SO FOR ME, I THINK 00:38:37.167 --> 00:38:40.033 IT'S EASY EVEN WRITING A BOOK, IT'S MY FIRST BOOK, AND IT'S 00:38:40.133 --> 00:38:42.966 THE TEMPTATION WOULD BE TO TAKE SOMETHING THAT'S A BLESSING AND 00:38:43.066 --> 00:38:45.767 TURN IT INTO A BURDEN, WHICH WOULD BE LIKE YOU PRAY AND 00:38:45.867 --> 00:38:47.933 DREAM YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN. THEN IT 00:38:48.033 --> 00:38:50.966 HAPPENS, AND THEN YOU'RE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT IT THAT NOW 00:38:51.066 --> 00:38:54.067 YOU'RE TORMENTED BY THE THING YOU PRAYED FOR. AND WE COULD DO 00:38:54.167 --> 00:38:56.933 THIS WITH ANYTHING. WE PRAY FOR A JOB. THEN YOU GET THE JOB. 00:38:57.033 --> 00:38:59.933 THEN YOU'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT LOSING THE JOB THAT YOU DON'T 00:39:00.033 --> 00:39:03.000 ENJOY THE JOB, AND YOU'RE JUST STRESSED THE WHOLE TIME YOU 00:39:03.100 --> 00:39:06.866 HAVE THE JOB, AND THEN YOU QUIT AND YOU'RE LIKE, MAN, THAT WAS 00:39:06.966 --> 00:39:10.033 A STRESSFUL DREAM GOD EVER GAVE ME. AND SO I JUST THINK FOR ME, 00:39:10.133 --> 00:39:12.866 I FOUGHT TO SAY, LIKE, I WROTE A BOOK AND THIS IS A JOY. AND 00:39:12.966 --> 00:39:15.066 YES, I'M FRUSTRATED ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS. AND YES, THIS 00:39:15.166 --> 00:39:17.966 DIDN'T GO HOW I THOUGHT IT WOULD. AND YES, I WAS 00:39:18.066 --> 00:39:20.999 DISAPPOINTED BY SOME THINGS, AND THE FACT THAT I WROTE A 00:39:21.099 --> 00:39:24.800 BOOK IS CRAZY, AND THE FACT THAT MY KIDS CAN WALK INTO A 00:39:24.900 --> 00:39:28.133 BARNES AND NOBLE AND SAY, LOOK, DAD, THERE WE ARE. ON THE BACK 00:39:28.233 --> 00:39:30.799 OF THAT THING IS A WILD THING. SO IF NOBODY EVER BOUGHT THAT 00:39:30.899 --> 00:39:34.033 BOOK, IT WOULD BE VERY THE HONEST WORD WOULD BE PRIDEFUL 00:39:34.133 --> 00:39:37.100 OF ME TO BE FRUSTRATED THAT GOD GAVE ME ONE OF THE GREATEST 00:39:37.200 --> 00:39:40.800 OPPORTUNITIES, WHICH IS TO WRITE A MESSAGE TO ENCOURAGE 00:39:40.900 --> 00:39:43.967 PEOPLE THROUGH THE REALITY OF MY LIFE. AND SO, YEAH, I THINK 00:39:44.067 --> 00:39:46.899 THAT MENTAL BATTLE WAS ONE FOR SURE, OF JUST GETTING OVER THAT 00:39:46.999 --> 00:39:51.000 AND DECIDING, LIKE, MAN, THIS BOOK IS GOING TO BE GREAT 00:39:51.100 --> 00:39:53.933 BECAUSE I POURED MY HEART INTO IT AND I KNOW IT HELPED MY WIFE, 00:39:54.033 --> 00:39:57.000 AND I THINK IT'LL BE AMAZING ONE DAY THAT THEIR KIDS CAN 00:39:57.100 --> 00:40:00.066 READ ABOUT WHERE THEIR DAD WAS WHEN HE WAS 30 YEARS OLD, AND 00:40:00.166 --> 00:40:04.833 THAT'LL BE A BLESSING. AND AFTER THAT, LET ME TELL YOU THE 00:40:04.933 --> 00:40:07.100 TRUTH, I DO NOT CARE. >> LIKE IF YOU LIKE THE BOOK, I 00:40:07.200 --> 00:40:11.367 HOPE YOU LOVE. >> IT BECAUSE I KNOW IT'LL HELP 00:40:11.467 --> 00:40:14.099 YOU. AND IF I AM WAITING ON YOU TO LIKE MY BOOK FOR ME TO FEEL 00:40:14.199 --> 00:40:17.000 GOOD ABOUT MY BOOK, THAT'S GONNA BE A TERRIBLE WAY TO LIVE. 00:40:17.100 --> 00:40:20.833 BECAUSE I CAN'T CONTROL YOU. I CAN'T CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL. 00:40:20.933 --> 00:40:22.967 >> YOU CAN'T. I CAN'T CONTROL IF YOU LIKE IT. YOU MAY BE LIKE 00:40:23.067 --> 00:40:26.066 BLACK AND. >> YELLOW IS SUCH A WEIRD COLOR. 00:40:26.166 --> 00:40:27.866 YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE? BLACK AND YELLOW. AND MY CAR IS BLACK AND 00:40:27.966 --> 00:40:30.099 YELLOW RIGHT. >> NOW, SO. 00:40:30.199 --> 00:40:33.066 >> I LOVE IT. AND THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. 00:40:33.166 --> 00:40:35.800 >> SO YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? I THINK THAT IS SO SUBSTANTIAL. 00:40:35.900 --> 00:40:38.800 AND I DON'T THINK THAT SHOULD BE SOMETHING THAT'S EVEN 00:40:38.900 --> 00:40:40.900 GLOSSED OVER THE FACT THAT YOU ALLOWED YOURSELF TO GET TO THAT 00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:43.800 PLACE MENTALLY BEFORE RELEASING YOUR FIRST BOOK, BECAUSE THERE 00:40:43.900 --> 00:40:46.800 ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT ARE PUSHING OUT TONS OF CONTENT AND 00:40:46.900 --> 00:40:49.800 THEY'RE STILL LIVING IN BONDAGE TO FEAR OF PEOPLE. YEAH. AND IT 00:40:49.900 --> 00:40:52.133 WILL GET YOU DOWN THE ROAD. YEAH. AND I THINK IT'S REALLY 00:40:52.233 --> 00:40:54.933 EASY TO SAY, YEAH, IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT GOD THINKS. IT 00:40:55.033 --> 00:40:57.266 DOESN'T MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK. IT'S WAY HARDER TO PUT 00:40:57.366 --> 00:41:01.033 THAT INTO PRACTICE. AND THAT'S A MENTAL DISCIPLINE RIGHT THERE. 00:41:01.133 --> 00:41:04.033 YEAH, I LOVE THAT. YOU SAID ONE OF THE THINGS YOU SAID, I THINK 00:41:04.133 --> 00:41:06.167 IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS THAT THE BODY OF CHRIST 00:41:06.267 --> 00:41:08.399 NEEDS TO HEAR, WHICH IS RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY. YEAH. AND STOP 00:41:08.499 --> 00:41:11.033 BLAMING PEOPLE AND TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. IF 00:41:11.133 --> 00:41:13.033 EVERYONE IN THE BODY OF CHRIST WOULD DO THAT, WE'D BE WAY 00:41:13.133 --> 00:41:15.999 BETTER PLACE. >> YEAH, IT'S DIFFICULT TO DO. 00:41:16.099 --> 00:41:18.900 >> AND IT IS. >> IT'S A THING WHERE IT'S LIKE 00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:22.100 IT'S EASIER TO STAY IN A SPOT WHERE EVERYTHING'S HAPPENING AT 00:41:22.200 --> 00:41:25.100 YOU, AND RATHER THAN MAYBE FOR YOU. AND SO BUT I THINK IT'S, 00:41:25.200 --> 00:41:26.966 IT'S A DAILY DECISION TO SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, LIKE I AM IN 00:41:27.066 --> 00:41:28.933 CONTROL OF THIS. >> YOU ARE. 00:41:29.033 --> 00:41:31.133 >> YEAH. >> BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN MIND. 00:41:31.233 --> 00:41:34.966 >> YEAH. YEAH. GOD HAS EMPOWERED ME TO DO SO. LIKE 00:41:35.066 --> 00:41:37.866 IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT. I'M IN CONTROL OF MY OWN, MY OWN POWER. 00:41:37.966 --> 00:41:40.866 BUT GOD HAS EMPOWERED ME AND GIVEN ME HIS SPIRIT AND THE 00:41:40.966 --> 00:41:44.033 FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT. ALL THESE DIFFERENT THINGS TO TO OPERATE 00:41:44.133 --> 00:41:46.967 IN A BETTER WAY. SO SHOULD I. SO CHOOSE. AND I CAN MAKE THAT 00:41:48.167 --> 00:41:51.066 CHOICE EMPOWERED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT TO WHETHER THAT'S HAVE A 00:41:51.166 --> 00:41:55.367 GOOD DAY OR FOR ME. ONE THING WE DID FOR THE BOOK IS THE DAY 00:41:55.467 --> 00:41:59.233 BEFORE MY BOOK WENT ON PREORDER. THAT NIGHT, WE HAD A DINNER 00:41:59.333 --> 00:42:01.266 WITH ALL MY CLOSEST FRIENDS, AND MY WIFE HAD ALL OF THEM GO 00:42:01.366 --> 00:42:04.300 AROUND AND STAND UP, AND THEY ALL JUST ENCOURAGED ME FOR LIKE 00:42:04.400 --> 00:42:07.233 A LONG TIME. EACH ONE OF THEM TALKED FOR A LONG TIME, AND 00:42:07.333 --> 00:42:11.000 WHAT THAT DID FOR ME WAS LIKE, BEFORE ANYBODY BUYS OR DOESN'T 00:42:11.100 --> 00:42:14.167 BUY THIS BOOK, I'M ALREADY GOOD. LIKE I'M ALREADY I'M NOT 00:42:14.267 --> 00:42:17.967 WAITING TILL TOMORROW TO SEE, LIKE, OKAY, LET ME DECIDE IF 00:42:18.067 --> 00:42:21.067 THIS IS GOOD OR NOT. LIKE I DECIDED SITTING IN THAT ROOM AT 00:42:21.167 --> 00:42:24.133 THAT DINNER, THAT THIS IS A GREAT BOOK AND IT'S HELPED MY 00:42:24.233 --> 00:42:27.967 FRIENDS AND THEY'RE PROUD OF ME. AND I PUSHED THROUGH AND I DID 00:42:28.067 --> 00:42:31.166 SOMETHING THAT'S HARD WORK, AND I'M VERY PROUD OF THAT. AND 00:42:31.266 --> 00:42:32.133 AFTER THAT, I'M GOING TO ENJOY IT. AND SO WHEREVER THAT TAKES 00:42:32.233 --> 00:42:35.133 ME. >> IS. 00:42:35.233 --> 00:42:38.200 >> I'M GOING TO ENJOY. >> IT AND YOU'RE GOING TO ENJOY 00:42:38.300 --> 00:42:41.966 IT. I LIKE THAT YOU SAID THAT BECAUSE YOU SAID, I'M GOING TO 00:42:42.066 --> 00:42:45.500 CHOOSE TO HAVE JOY, BECAUSE I THINK SO MANY OF US ARE MIGHT 00:42:45.600 --> 00:42:48.066 BE IN DIFFICULT SEASONS, BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL 00:42:48.166 --> 00:42:51.933 FOR AND TO FIND JOY IN. AND I ALSO THINK WHAT I LOVE IS THAT 00:42:52.033 --> 00:42:54.100 YOU SAID THAT YOU LET ME LET ME GATHER MY BRAIN. YOU SAID THAT 00:42:54.200 --> 00:42:57.300 YOU WERE GOING TO YOU TOOK RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY. YOU 00:42:57.400 --> 00:43:00.066 WERE GOING TO FIND JOY. OH, BUT THIS IS THE OTHER THING. YOU 00:43:00.166 --> 00:43:03.400 WERE BEING OBEDIENT AND STEWARDING WHAT GOD HAD CALLED 00:43:03.500 --> 00:43:07.067 YOU TO DO. AND EVEN DOING THIS PODCAST, LIKE WHAT I'VE LEARNED 00:43:07.167 --> 00:43:09.733 IS BECAUSE I USED TO, I REMEMBER ONE, I USED TO BE SO 00:43:09.833 --> 00:43:12.199 CONCERNED ABOUT NUMBERS. I REMEMBER ONE DAY HE SPOKE TO ME 00:43:12.299 --> 00:43:14.333 AND HE SAYS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT NUMBERS. AND IT'S NOT THAT 00:43:14.433 --> 00:43:17.367 NUMBERS DON'T MATTER AT ALL. IT'S NOT SAYING THERE'S NO 00:43:17.467 --> 00:43:20.167 VALUE, BUT IT'S SAYING THAT I LEARNED THAT IF HE'S PLEASED 00:43:20.267 --> 00:43:23.100 WITH SOMETHING, THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS AND I CAN JUST KIND OF 00:43:23.200 --> 00:43:26.200 REST. IT'S LIKE, ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER WILL PERFORM. YEAH, HE 00:43:26.300 --> 00:43:29.133 WILL MAKE THAT HAPPEN. YEAH. AND I CAN JUST REST IN HIM. AND 00:43:29.233 --> 00:43:32.200 THE SAME WITH EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE DOING. IT'S LIKE, BUT AS 00:43:32.300 --> 00:43:36.033 LONG AS HE'S PLEASED WITH IT, YOU KNOW, IT JUST IT TAKES THE 00:43:36.133 --> 00:43:39.166 PRESSURE OFF OF YOU AND THEN IT GIVES ALL THE GLORY TO GOD. AND 00:43:39.266 --> 00:43:42.133 IT'S LIKE I WAS FAITHFUL WITH WHAT HE GAVE ME, AND I STEWARD 00:43:42.233 --> 00:43:45.200 IT, AND I'M GOING TO CONTINUE TO STEWARD, AND I'M NOT GOING 00:43:45.300 --> 00:43:48.200 TO BE, BECAUSE LIKE YOU SAID, IF YOU ARE BOUND BY WHAT PEOPLE 00:43:48.300 --> 00:43:50.233 THINK, THE VERY THING THAT COULD BE SUCH A JOY AND LIFE 00:43:50.333 --> 00:43:53.233 GIVING THING, DOING MINISTRY BECOMES A PRISON CELL. 00:43:53.333 --> 00:43:56.133 >> ABSOLUTELY IT IS. WELL, I THINK I PREACHED A MESSAGE 00:43:56.233 --> 00:43:59.133 CALLED I WON'T FOLD A WHILE BACK IN. THE THESIS OF THE 00:43:59.233 --> 00:44:02.233 WHOLE SERMON IS MANY PEOPLE WILL NEVER DO WHAT THEY CAN DO, 00:44:02.333 --> 00:44:05.366 COULD DO, OR SHOULD DO BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF LOOKING DUMB. 00:44:05.466 --> 00:44:09.267 >> YEAH, THEY FOLD. >> THE FEAR OF LOOKING DUMB. 00:44:09.367 --> 00:44:12.700 AND THAT IS THE TRUTH IS, MANY OF US, WE JUST WE'RE WORRIED 00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:15.233 ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK. YEAH, WHAT IF I DID THIS? ARE 00:44:15.333 --> 00:44:18.199 THEY GOING TO THINK I'M WEIRD? ARE THEY GOING TO THINK IT'S 00:44:18.299 --> 00:44:21.333 BAD? ARE THEY GOING TO THINK IT'S THIS? ARE THEY. AND THE 00:44:21.433 --> 00:44:24.333 TRUTH IS, THAT IS VERY REAL. I FEEL THAT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE, 00:44:24.433 --> 00:44:27.433 DO THEY THINK THAT IS GOOD? IS THAT WEIRD? AND THAT DOES NOT 00:44:27.533 --> 00:44:31.200 GET TO MAKE THE FINAL DECISIONS IN MY LIFE. WHAT OTHER PEOPLE 00:44:31.300 --> 00:44:34.533 THINK ABOUT ME DOES NOT GET TO DRIVE. WHETHER OR NOT I DO WHAT 00:44:35.167 --> 00:44:37.766 GOD ASKED ME TO DO, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A IT'S A VERY SMALL 00:44:37.866 --> 00:44:40.433 LIFE, HONESTLY WORRIED ABOUT. AND I THINK SOCIAL MEDIA HAS, 00:44:40.533 --> 00:44:43.366 HAS ADDED TO THAT IN A WAY WHERE WE FEEL LIKE. TOTALLY 00:44:43.466 --> 00:44:46.100 WHAT'S GOING TO FIT AND IT'S GOT TO LOOK AND IT'S GOT 00:44:46.200 --> 00:44:49.133 WHATEVER, AND. >> IT'S GOT TO GO VIRAL. IT'S 00:44:49.233 --> 00:44:51.400 GOT TO BE PERFECTLY EDITED. >> AND IT'S LIKE VIRAL IS A 00:44:51.500 --> 00:44:54.433 MADE UP THING. INSTAGRAM DIDN'T EXIST 20 YEARS AGO, LIKE PEOPLE 00:44:54.533 --> 00:44:57.233 LIVED FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS WITHOUT INSTAGRAM. AND 00:44:57.333 --> 00:44:59.499 NOW IT'S LIKE, OH, I WORKED REALLY HARD. IT DIDN'T WORK. 00:44:59.599 --> 00:45:03.266 IT'S LIKE PEOPLE WORKED IN FACTORIES FOR 40 YEARS AND THEN 00:45:03.366 --> 00:45:06.333 WENT HOME AND WENT TO BE JESUS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE, 00:45:06.433 --> 00:45:10.267 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST SO TO ME, WHAT THEY GUYS SAY ALL THE 00:45:10.367 --> 00:45:13.233 TIME IS LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO LET MY REAL LIFE ARE LIKE ON 00:45:13.333 --> 00:45:16.333 SOCIAL MEDIA TO AFFECT MY REAL LIFE R.E.A.L. AND THE TRUTH IS, 00:45:16.433 --> 00:45:19.200 SOCIAL MEDIA AS AMAZING AS IT IS, AND AS MUCH AS I LOVE IT 00:45:19.300 --> 00:45:22.267 AND STAY CONNECTED WITH FRIENDS AND PREACH THE GOSPEL THROUGH 00:45:22.367 --> 00:45:24.299 IT, IT'S ALSO NOT A REAL THING. IT IS PEOPLE'S BEST VERSION OF 00:45:24.399 --> 00:45:27.500 THEIR LIFE. >> IT REALLY IS NOT REAL. 00:45:27.600 --> 00:45:30.566 >> NO IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT A REAL THING AT ALL. IT'S LIKE WE'VE 00:45:31.233 --> 00:45:32.466 GOT TO A POINT WHERE IT'S LIKE, OH, YOU'RE NOT DATING SOMEBODY 00:45:32.566 --> 00:45:35.733 UNTIL YOU'VE POSTED ON INSTAGRAM. IT'S LIKE, OKAY, 00:45:35.833 --> 00:45:38.266 WELL, THAT'S YOU. POSTING ON INSTAGRAM HAS NO INDICATION OF 00:45:38.366 --> 00:45:41.166 WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE IS GOOD OR NOT, BUT YOU CAN KEEP DOING 00:45:41.266 --> 00:45:44.200 THAT IF THAT MAKES EVERYBODY FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW. SO IT'S 00:45:44.300 --> 00:45:46.266 JUST THERE ARE THINGS THAT LIKE ARE KIND OF CULTURAL RULES THAT 00:45:46.366 --> 00:45:49.233 WE'VE MADE UP THAT IT'S. >> LIKE SO TRUE. 00:45:49.333 --> 00:45:52.467 >> YOU CAN LITERALLY MAKE UP ANYTHING ON THAT. AND SO AS 00:45:52.567 --> 00:45:55.467 LONG AS YOU HOLD IT AND KNOW THAT, USE IT. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M 00:45:55.567 --> 00:45:58.366 SAYING? LIKE B B I LOVE INSTAGRAM AND I POST TONS OF 00:45:58.466 --> 00:46:01.599 SILLY STUFF, AND MY PROFILE PICTURE IS ME WITH MY EARS 00:46:01.699 --> 00:46:04.467 STICKING OUT AND A HOODIE ON MY. HEAD BECAUSE I WANTED TO REMIND 00:46:04.567 --> 00:46:07.400 MYSELF, YES, YOU'RE A USA TODAY BEST SELLER. AND ALSO, THIS 00:46:07.500 --> 00:46:08.566 ISN'T REAL. LIKE DON'T. >> TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY. 00:46:08.666 --> 00:46:10.467 DON'T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY. RIDICULOUS. LIKE 00:46:10.567 --> 00:46:12.466 THIS IS. >> SO ANYWAYS, LIKE YOU HAVE 00:46:12.566 --> 00:46:15.299 FOUR KIDS. YOU'RE A DAD AND A HUSBAND. 00:46:15.399 --> 00:46:17.400 >> YEAH, AND. >> AFTER THAT, ALL OF THIS IS 00:46:17.500 --> 00:46:19.700 JUST EXTRA. >> AND YOU TOOK TEN MONTHS OFF 00:46:19.800 --> 00:46:22.266 OF SOCIAL MEDIA. BUT IT WASN'T SOMETHING THAT WAS FOREVER. 00:46:22.366 --> 00:46:25.266 BECAUSE PART OF YOUR CALLING DOES OPERATE THROUGH SOCIAL 00:46:25.366 --> 00:46:28.066 MEDIA, AND THERE'S SOME PEOPLE THAT WILL NEVER BE ON IT. AND 00:46:28.166 --> 00:46:30.800 I'M LIKE, I'M NOT IN THIS POSITION BECAUSE WHAT I'M DOING 00:46:30.900 --> 00:46:34.233 IS THROUGH SOCIAL. YEAH. HOW DID YOU WHEN YOU CAME BACK, HOW 00:46:34.333 --> 00:46:36.299 DID YOU FIND THAT BALANCE? I THINK YOU SAID PART OF IT THERE 00:46:36.399 --> 00:46:37.600 BASICALLY MADE A CONNECTION. THIS IS NOT REAL. 00:46:37.600 --> 00:46:39.500 >> YEAH. >> I THINK MAN, I DO. I HAVE A 00:46:39.600 --> 00:46:42.666 A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOCIAL. 00:46:42.766 --> 00:46:45.966 >> MEDIA IN THE SENSE. >> THAT AS LONG AS LIKE I WISH, 00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:48.666 I DON'T KNOW, I JUST DON'T TAKE IT AS, AS SERIOUSLY AS THERE'S 00:46:48.766 --> 00:46:51.600 A REAL THING. LET ME TALK ABOUT THAT. FIRST, THE RESPONSIBILITY 00:46:51.700 --> 00:46:54.667 OF THE PEOPLE THAT ARE ABLE TO SEE GOD THROUGH THAT AS YOU 00:46:54.767 --> 00:46:57.433 SHOW THAT THING. AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE IMPACTED ME 00:46:57.533 --> 00:47:00.733 THROUGH SEEING THINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. SO THERE'S A SIGNIFICANT 00:47:00.833 --> 00:47:04.600 VALUE IN IT. AND I THINK IT'S JUST IT'S A VERY SLIPPERY SLOPE. 00:47:04.700 --> 00:47:07.733 SO LIKE FOR ME, A PART OF MY RHYTHM IS LIKE BEING OFF SOCIAL 00:47:07.833 --> 00:47:09.633 MEDIA. SO LIKE ONCE A WEEK I'M OFF FOR A WHOLE DAY, TWO DAYS, 00:47:09.733 --> 00:47:12.633 THREE DAYS. >> LIKE IT'S JUST NICE. 00:47:12.733 --> 00:47:15.733 >> I JUST DON'T NEED, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE, JUST 00:47:15.833 --> 00:47:19.467 FAMILY FRIDAYS IS THE DAY WE DO. AND IT'S LIKE, YEAH, WE'RE JUST 00:47:19.567 --> 00:47:22.167 OFF. WHAT DO WE. WE DON'T NEED TO TAKE PICTURES, POST THEM THE 00:47:22.267 --> 00:47:23.499 NEXT DAY LIKE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. 00:47:23.599 --> 00:47:25.433 >> SO I. >> NEED TO DO THAT. 00:47:25.533 --> 00:47:28.500 >> YEAH. >> JUST DECIDING A DAY WHERE 00:47:28.600 --> 00:47:29.833 IT'S LIKE I GO 24 HOURS WHERE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN 00:47:29.933 --> 00:47:30.767 THE WORLD. >> WHAT ELSE IS ON FAMILY 00:47:30.867 --> 00:47:32.133 FRIDAYS? >> OH, FAMILY FRIDAYS IS YOU 00:47:32.233 --> 00:47:33.467 WAKE UP, YOU PHONES GO UP. ME AND MY WIFE ACTUALLY HAVE THESE 00:47:33.567 --> 00:47:34.767 LITTLE. IT'S CALLED A LIGHT PHONE. IT'S LIKE A LITTLE. IT'S 00:47:34.867 --> 00:47:35.800 JUST. IT'S A PHONE. ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T HAVE INTERNET. IT 00:47:35.900 --> 00:47:36.867 JUST CALLS. >> AND TEXTS. OH, SO YOU HAVE 00:47:36.967 --> 00:47:39.400 ONE OF THOSE? YEAH. >> I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 00:47:39.500 --> 00:47:41.633 >> YEAH. >> SO WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE. WE 00:47:41.733 --> 00:47:44.899 USE THAT ON FRIDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY. AND WE REALLY START 00:47:44.999 --> 00:47:45.766 THURSDAY THURSDAYS DATE NIGHT. SO WE DO THURSDAY, FRIDAY. 00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:48.699 >> AND SATURDAY. OH, THIS IS SO SWEET. 00:47:48.799 --> 00:47:52.567 >> AND SO BUT YEAH. AND THEN IT'S JUST WHATEVER THE KIDS 00:47:52.667 --> 00:47:55.667 WANT TO DO. SO WE USUALLY WE GO GET COFFEE IN THE MORNING, GET 00:47:55.767 --> 00:47:58.466 LIKE TO A BAKERY, LITTLE CAFE WE LOVE. AND THEN WE'RE JUST 00:47:58.566 --> 00:48:00.800 HANGING OUT AROUND THE HOUSE. WE'LL GO GET SNOW CONES. WE'LL 00:48:00.900 --> 00:48:03.800 DO AN ACTIVITY TOGETHER. BUT IT'S JUST ALL FAMILY DAY. AND 00:48:03.900 --> 00:48:06.933 WE'RE PRETTY ROUTINE LIKE THAT. THAT'S ONE THING I LEARNED OUT 00:48:07.033 --> 00:48:08.733 OF THAT SEASON OF MY LIFE THAT WAS REALLY TOUGH IS LIKE, 00:48:08.833 --> 00:48:12.567 CONSISTENT DISCIPLINES ARE REALLY HELPFUL FOR ME. AND SO 00:48:12.667 --> 00:48:14.733 YEAH, LIKE WE DO DATE NIGHT. IT WAS ON TUESDAYS, NOW IT'S ON 00:48:14.833 --> 00:48:16.633 THURSDAYS. BUT LIKE WE'VE BEEN DOING DATE NIGHT FOR THE LAST 00:48:16.733 --> 00:48:19.666 SIX YEARS. HAVEN'T MISSED THE NIGHT. 00:48:19.766 --> 00:48:22.633 >> WE HAVE A ROUTINE. YEAH. >> LIKE WE DO THAT WE HAVE A 00:48:22.733 --> 00:48:24.733 FAMILY DAY. SO CERTAIN THINGS LIKE THAT THAT ARE REALLY 00:48:24.833 --> 00:48:26.800 HEALTHY. SO YEAH BUT THAT'S FAMILY. FRIDAY IS A GREAT, 00:48:26.900 --> 00:48:29.733 GREAT DAY. >> WHAT ARE SOME OTHER THINGS 00:48:29.833 --> 00:48:31.767 THAT HELPED YOU FIND A BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE AND HELP YOU 00:48:31.867 --> 00:48:35.500 MAINTAIN A POSTURE OF PEACE? >> YEAH. 00:48:35.600 --> 00:48:37.733 >> SO I THINK MY COUNSELOR TOLD ME IN 2020, HE SAID, YOU NEED 00:48:38.933 --> 00:48:40.533 TO HAVE SOMETHING EVERY DAY, EVERY WEEK, EVERY MONTH, 00:48:40.633 --> 00:48:43.600 EVERY YEAR THAT YOU LOOK FORWARD TO THAT IS JUST FOR 00:48:43.700 --> 00:48:47.600 YOU AND DOES NOT PRODUCE AN OUTCOME FOR SOMEONE ELSE. 00:48:47.700 --> 00:48:50.466 MEANING LIKE, I REALLY LOVE WRITING SERMONS, BUT 00:48:50.566 --> 00:48:53.566 SERMONS ARE ULTIMATELY FOR OTHER PEOPLE. SO I THAT 00:48:53.666 --> 00:48:56.533 CAN'T BE MY THING. I, YOU KNOW, I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH 00:48:56.633 --> 00:48:59.500 MY WIFE, BUT ULTIMATELY THAT IS ALSO IT SERVES HER. AND SO 00:48:59.600 --> 00:49:02.533 THAT'S FOR HER. SO YOU NEED SOMETHING THAT'S JUST FOR YOU 00:49:02.633 --> 00:49:05.567 TO FILL YOUR CUP UP. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF 00:49:05.667 --> 00:49:08.633 IS WHAT THE SCRIPTURE SAYS. SO THERE'S A PICTURE THERE THAT IS 00:49:08.733 --> 00:49:10.867 LIKE, OH, SOME OF YOUR CAPACITY TO LOVE PEOPLE IS OUT OF YOUR 00:49:11.600 --> 00:49:14.599 OWN ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE OF YOU. 00:49:14.699 --> 00:49:17.633 SO FOR ME, EVERY DAY IT IS I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND WE 00:49:17.733 --> 00:49:20.700 HAVE A LITTLE ESPRESSO MACHINE IN OUR HOUSE. I WAKE UP, MAKE 00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:23.866 MYSELF AN OAT MILK CAPPUCCINO, AND I SIT DOWN AND I JUST SIT 00:49:23.966 --> 00:49:26.566 THERE AND I'M QUIET AND I DON'T DO NOTHING. I DON'T SAY NOTHING. 00:49:26.666 --> 00:49:28.700 AND IT'S JUST MY LITTLE COUPLE OF MINUTES JUST TO. 00:49:28.800 --> 00:49:31.700 >> IS THIS BEFORE ALL YOUR KIDS ARE AWAKE? 00:49:31.800 --> 00:49:33.733 >> BEFORE THEY'RE AWAKE, OR IF THEY ARE AWAKE, I'M LIKE, HEY, 00:49:33.833 --> 00:49:36.800 DAD'S GONNA STAND OUTSIDE, Y'ALL STAY INSIDE. OR IF 00:49:37.567 --> 00:49:39.800 THEY'RE OUTSIDE, I'M GOING. BUT IT'S JUST LIKE, I GET A MINUTE 00:49:39.900 --> 00:49:41.833 TO MYSELF AND I'M JUST SITTING THERE. I'M NOT. AND SOMETIMES 00:49:41.933 --> 00:49:44.933 IT'S PRAYERFUL AND SOMETIMES I'M JUST SITTING THERE LIKE, 00:49:45.033 --> 00:49:47.666 MAN, THIS IS A GREAT COFFEE. I NAILED THIS THING TODAY, YOU 00:49:47.766 --> 00:49:49.666 KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? IT'S JUST. BUT IT'S JUST A MOMENT. 00:49:49.766 --> 00:49:51.833 >> THAT'S JUST LIKE THAT MOMENT. YEAH. 00:49:51.933 --> 00:49:53.766 >> BEING MINDFUL OF. >> JUST LIKE MAN. GRATEFUL. 00:49:53.866 --> 00:49:56.733 YEAH. >> ONE THING THAT I DO IS IT'S 00:49:56.833 --> 00:49:59.800 CALLED I'VE CHANGED IT OVER THE YEARS. IT STARTED AS GPS. NOW 00:49:59.900 --> 00:50:03.533 IT'S GAPS. BUT EVERY SINGLE DAY MOSTLY NOW I WON'T SAY EVERY 00:50:03.633 --> 00:50:05.633 SINGLE DAY BECAUSE I WANT TO BE TRUTHFUL. I DID DO IT EVERY 00:50:05.733 --> 00:50:08.733 SINGLE DAY FOR 460 DAYS. >> IN A ROW. 00:50:08.833 --> 00:50:11.867 >> BUT NOW I'M PROBABLY FOUR TIMES A WEEK. I'LL SAY IT WOULD 00:50:11.967 --> 00:50:14.633 BE FAIR TO SAY, BUT I DO GAPS. SO GRATITUDE, ATTITUDE, PRAYER, 00:50:14.733 --> 00:50:16.833 SCRIPTURE. IT'S A LITTLE JOURNAL I HAVE AND I JUST WRITE 00:50:16.933 --> 00:50:19.733 GRATITUDE. WHAT IS A UNIQUE GRATITUDE? SO UNIQUE GRATITUDE 00:50:19.833 --> 00:50:22.867 MEANS LIKE, I CAN'T SAY I'M GRATEFUL FOR MY WIFE. I HAVE TO 00:50:22.967 --> 00:50:25.733 SAY I'M GRATEFUL FOR A WIFE WHO MAKES ME LAUGH BECAUSE SHE'S 00:50:25.833 --> 00:50:28.000 KIND OF QUIRKY. LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE IT'S 00:50:28.100 --> 00:50:30.566 UNIQUE GRATITUDE. SO GRATITUDE THEN ATTITUDE IS SOMETHING. 00:50:30.666 --> 00:50:34.500 IT'S ME DECIDING MY MINDSET. SO MINE EVERY SINGLE DAY. A 00:50:34.600 --> 00:50:38.499 CONFESSION THAT I SAY IS I AM HAPPY, CLEAR, CAPABLE, GENIUS. 00:50:38.599 --> 00:50:42.599 THAT'S WHO I AM. LIKE GOD, MAYBE I'M HAPPY. MY SPIRIT IS A 00:50:42.699 --> 00:50:45.600 HAPPY SPIRIT. I AM CLEAR MINDED, I DO NOT. I'M NOT CONTROLLED BY 00:50:45.700 --> 00:50:48.499 MY THOUGHTS. LIKE GOD IS GIVING ME THE MIND OF CHRIST. I AM 00:50:48.599 --> 00:50:50.800 CALCULATED, MEANING I'M NOT DRIVEN BY MY EMOTIONS. I CAN 00:50:50.900 --> 00:50:53.833 MAKE A CALCULATED DECISION THAT IS INSPIRED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT. 00:50:53.933 --> 00:50:57.633 AND THEN I'M A GENIUS. GOD'S INSPIRATION LIVES ON THE INSIDE 00:50:57.733 --> 00:51:00.666 OF ME, AND CREATIVELY, WHEN I SUBMIT MYSELF TO HIM, I CAN 00:51:00.766 --> 00:51:04.599 HELP PEOPLE IN SIGNIFICANT WAYS. LET HIM SEE HIM THROUGH ART AND 00:51:04.699 --> 00:51:07.600 BEAUTY AND WRITING AND WHATEVER. SO THAT'S MY ATTITUDE DAILY. SO 00:51:07.700 --> 00:51:09.799 I WRITE THAT DOWN. JUST THOSE WORDS HAPPY, CLEAR, CALCULATED, 00:51:09.899 --> 00:51:12.799 GENIUS. AND SOMETIMES IT'LL CHANGE. IT'S SOMETIMES IT'S 00:51:12.899 --> 00:51:15.166 CALM, SOMETIMES. >> IT'S HOW DID YOU COME UP 00:51:15.266 --> 00:51:18.733 WITH THOSE. >> MY FRIEND. YEAH. SO MY 00:51:18.833 --> 00:51:21.833 FRIEND, HE ONE DAY IT'S KIND OF ONE OF THE THINGS HE DOES IS 00:51:21.933 --> 00:51:24.600 HELP YOU JUST FIND THOSE THINGS. AND SO HE WAS TALKING ABOUT 00:51:24.700 --> 00:51:27.766 HE'S LIKE, WHAT'S YOUR WHAT'S YOUR WHAT THOUGHTS GO THROUGH 00:51:27.866 --> 00:51:30.766 YOUR HEAD A LOT YOUR DAY. AND I WAS LIKE I DON'T KNOW. AND 00:51:30.866 --> 00:51:33.566 PRETTY MUCH WE DUG TO OH THERE'S A LOT OF NEGATIVE 00:51:33.666 --> 00:51:35.767 THOUGHTS THAT GO THROUGH MY HEAD. HE'S LIKE, SO YOU NEED 00:51:35.867 --> 00:51:38.733 SOME POSITIVE ONES. SO WHAT WOULD THE QUESTION HE ASKED ME 00:51:38.833 --> 00:51:41.733 IS WHAT WOULD THE WE STARTED THROWING OUT SOME OF THESE 00:51:41.833 --> 00:51:44.667 WORDS. SO AN EXAMPLE WOULD BE IS WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU 00:51:44.767 --> 00:51:47.567 FELT LIKE YOU WERE CLEAR AND CALCULATED? WHAT DECISION WOULD 00:51:47.667 --> 00:51:49.899 YOU MAKE WHEN YOU'RE RAISING YOUR KIDS? WHAT WOULD THE CLEAR 00:51:49.999 --> 00:51:52.833 AND CALCULATED CHARLES DO TO A SON WHO IS SUPER EMOTIONAL 00:51:52.933 --> 00:51:55.633 ABOUT SOMETHING HIS SISTER TOOK? WELL, A CLEAR, CALCULATED 00:51:55.733 --> 00:51:57.899 CHARLES WOULD PROBABLY SLOW DOWN. I'D PROBABLY PULL HIM 00:51:57.999 --> 00:52:00.933 AWAY FROM HIS SISTERS. I'D PROBABLY ASK HIM WHAT'S REALLY 00:52:01.033 --> 00:52:03.767 GOING ON. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE AN UNCLEAR, NOT 00:52:03.867 --> 00:52:06.666 CALCULATED CHARLES WOULD JUST YELL REALLY LOUD AND SAY, BE 00:52:06.766 --> 00:52:09.733 QUIET. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MAKES SENSE 00:52:09.833 --> 00:52:12.833 IN THE MOMENT. AND SOMETIMES I STILL DO THAT. BUT IT'S A WAY 00:52:12.933 --> 00:52:15.767 TO GET YOURSELF INTO A CERTAIN MINDSET OF LIKE, OH, OKAY, WELL, 00:52:15.867 --> 00:52:17.967 IF YOU BELIEVED WHEN YOU AND THIS IS SOME PEOPLE EVEN I'VE 00:52:18.067 --> 00:52:20.933 TALKED ABOUT, PEOPLE ARE LIKE, THAT'S CRAZY. YOU CAN'T SAY 00:52:21.033 --> 00:52:23.900 THAT. BUT WHICH IS FUNNY, BUT IT'S LIKE, HOW WOULD YOU WRITE 00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:27.700 THAT BOOK IF YOU BELIEVED THE HOLY SPIRIT HAS PUT GENIUS ON 00:52:27.800 --> 00:52:28.900 THE INSIDE OF ME? HOW HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? WHAT MAKES 00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:30.933 ME FEEL LIKE. >> THAT'S TRUE. 00:52:31.033 --> 00:52:32.867 >> THOUGH I COULD PROBABLY WRITE REALLY WELL. 00:52:32.967 --> 00:52:36.066 >> THAT'S NOT CRAZY. >> YEAH, IT'S LIKE. 00:52:36.166 --> 00:52:36.899 >> THAT'S BIBLICAL. >> I KNOW, RIGHT? BUT IT'S LIKE. 00:52:36.999 --> 00:52:39.633 BUT PEOPLE. >> THE TRUE LIMITED. 00:52:39.733 --> 00:52:40.933 >> ARE SO LIMITED. AND WE HAVE MASQUERADED INSECURITY AS 00:52:41.033 --> 00:52:44.700 HUMILITY IN THE CHURCH. >> YES. 00:52:44.800 --> 00:52:48.866 >> AND SO TO EVEN DARE TO SAY GOD CHOSE ME, MY CONFIDENCE IS 00:52:48.966 --> 00:52:50.766 UNTOUCHABLE AND HIS SPIRIT ON THE INSIDE OF ME IS UNSTOPPABLE. 00:52:50.866 --> 00:52:54.700 PEOPLE ARE LIKE, WHOA, OKAY, YOU KNOW? BUT IT'S LIKE, I 00:52:54.800 --> 00:52:56.900 DON'T KNOW WHY WE DO THAT, BUT OKAY, BUT I THINK SO. THAT'S MY 00:52:57.000 --> 00:53:01.900 THING. SO AGAIN, GRATITUDE ATTITUDE, THOSE DAILY 00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:06.766 CONFESSIONS PRAYER. AND IT'S LIKE 2 OR 3 WORDS GOD HELP ME 00:53:06.866 --> 00:53:09.933 TODAY, GOD OF PEACE, I NEED YOU, GOOD SHEPHERD. THANK YOU. 00:53:10.033 --> 00:53:13.000 THAT'S ALL IT IS. IT'S JUST. AND THE SCRIPTURE AND IT'S NINE 00:53:13.100 --> 00:53:16.767 TIMES OUT OF TEN PSALM, IT'S JUST A SHORT LITTLE. AND SO BUT 00:53:16.867 --> 00:53:19.767 I DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY, JUST LIKE A SO THE SILENCE, THE 00:53:19.867 --> 00:53:21.966 SCRIPTURES AND THEN RIDING MY BIKE IS A BIG PART OF THAT. 00:53:22.066 --> 00:53:23.833 THAT'S PART OF THAT IS PHYSICAL EXERCISE. BUT AGAIN THAT'S 00:53:23.933 --> 00:53:26.733 ANOTHER THING LIKE ME. >> SO GOOD. 00:53:26.833 --> 00:53:29.767 >> IT JUST OUT THERE, YOU'VE NEVER LIVED UNTIL YOU'VE WOKEN 00:53:29.867 --> 00:53:32.800 UP, RIDDEN YOUR BIKE INTO A SUNSET WHEN IT'S KIND OF COLD. 00:53:32.900 --> 00:53:35.867 SO IT'S JUST IT'S SOMETHING I LOVE. I CAN WORK REALLY HARD AT 00:53:35.967 --> 00:53:38.866 IT AND IT DOESN'T. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? IT IT DOESN'T 00:53:38.966 --> 00:53:41.800 IMPACT. IT'S NOT I THINK A LOT OF IN MINISTRY, IT CAN BE 00:53:41.900 --> 00:53:44.933 TEMPTING TO FIND EVERYTHING YOU DO SERVES SOMEBODY ELSE. SO AT 00:53:45.033 --> 00:53:47.733 SOME POINT YOU'RE GIVING OUT AN EMPTY CUP. AND SO FOR ME, THOSE 00:53:47.833 --> 00:53:50.100 LITERALLY JUST THOSE THREE THINGS REALLY FILL MY CUP. AND 00:53:50.766 --> 00:53:52.133 I COULD DO THOSE EVERY SINGLE DAY AND THEY'RE WITHIN MY 00:53:52.233 --> 00:53:55.833 CONTROL. YOU KNOW, THAT'S ANOTHER THING PEOPLE CREATE. 00:53:55.933 --> 00:53:58.800 LIKE, MAN, I WOULD I WOULD BE HEALTHY IF I COULD JUST TAKE AN 00:53:58.900 --> 00:54:00.966 EIGHT WEEK VACATION. IT'S LIKE, WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. LIKE, 00:54:01.066 --> 00:54:03.966 YEAH, LIKE, YEAH. >> IT'D BE AWESOME IF I COULD 00:54:04.066 --> 00:54:06.100 JUST GO SIT ON A COUNTRYSIDE IN EUROPE SOMEWHERE, BUT LIKE, I 00:54:06.200 --> 00:54:08.000 CAN'T MAKE A CAPPUCCINO EVERY DAY AND SIT QUIET. 00:54:08.100 --> 00:54:10.133 >> FOR. >> SEVEN MINUTES. LIKE I'M 00:54:10.233 --> 00:54:11.999 SAYING, I CAN. >> WRITE DOWN WHAT I'M GRATEFUL 00:54:12.099 --> 00:54:14.966 FOR. AND IF. >> I CAN FIND. 00:54:15.066 --> 00:54:17.933 >> THINGS THAT ARE PRACTICAL TO BRING ME PEACE, THAT'S WHAT'S 00:54:18.033 --> 00:54:21.133 GOING TO SERVE YOU WAY BETTER THAN SOME DREAM OF LIKE, MAN, 00:54:21.233 --> 00:54:24.033 IF I COULD GO SIT ON AN ISLAND, I'D TELL YOU I'D BE PEACEFUL. 00:54:24.133 --> 00:54:25.833 IT'S LIKE, YEAH, WE ALL WOULD. BUT YEAH, WE GOTTA FIND 00:54:25.933 --> 00:54:28.133 PRACTICAL STUFF THAT WE COULD DO. 00:54:28.233 --> 00:54:31.033 >> ESPECIALLY IN THE SEASON OF LIFE YOU'RE IN WITH, LIKE, 00:54:31.133 --> 00:54:33.433 LITTLE KIDS AND STUFF. LIKE, I'M IN THE SAME SEASON, BUT I 00:54:33.533 --> 00:54:35.833 LOVE THAT. AND THAT BUILDS UP OVER TIME. 00:54:35.933 --> 00:54:38.066 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> AND WHAT I LOVE, THOUGH, IN 00:54:38.166 --> 00:54:41.800 THOSE IDENTIFIERS THAT YOU WERE SAYING IS THEY WERE ALL BASED 00:54:41.900 --> 00:54:44.866 IN THE WORD AND WHO GOD IS, AND IT'S SAYING THAT GOD IS 00:54:44.966 --> 00:54:47.100 POWERFUL IN YOU AND IT DOESN'T GLORIFY GOD TO BEAT YOURSELF UP. 00:54:47.200 --> 00:54:49.933 >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. >> YOU'RE JUST THAT'S NOT THE 00:54:50.033 --> 00:54:52.133 WAY HE SEES YOU. >> WELL, EVEN IT'S BEEN SO 00:54:52.233 --> 00:54:54.133 FUNNY TALKING ABOUT THIS BOOK AND SHARING WITH PEOPLE, 00:54:54.233 --> 00:54:57.000 BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON, THERE'S TIMES WHERE IT FEELS 00:54:57.100 --> 00:54:59.866 LIKE, WELL, YOU KNOW, AND THIS HAPPENS ACROSS MULTIPLE TOPICS 00:54:59.966 --> 00:55:02.966 IN CHRISTIANITY, BUT IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T TELL PEOPLE 00:55:03.066 --> 00:55:05.233 GOD LOVES THEM TOO MUCH BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL JUST. AND I ALWAYS 00:55:05.333 --> 00:55:08.900 WANT TO BE LIKE, THEN THEY'LL WHAT? LIKE I'M SAYING, LIKE, 00:55:09.000 --> 00:55:11.067 KNOW THAT THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE LOVES THEM OR WE DON'T 00:55:11.167 --> 00:55:14.100 WANT PEOPLE TO CONFIDENT. IT'S LIKE, WHY WOULD WE NOT WANT 00:55:14.200 --> 00:55:18.033 PEOPLE? WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR KIDS? I DON'T WANT 00:55:18.133 --> 00:55:20.900 MY KIDS TO GET TOO CONFIDENT NOW. WELL, IT'S LIKE I DON'T 00:55:21.000 --> 00:55:23.900 WANT TO BE PRIDEFUL, BUT LIKE, DO I WANT THEM TO KNOW WHO THEY 00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:27.033 ARE AND KNOW THAT THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE CREATED THEM AND 00:55:27.133 --> 00:55:29.966 SEES THEM AND DIED FOR THEM? YES, AND I DO. I WANT THEM TO, 00:55:30.066 --> 00:55:33.933 BECAUSE IF THEY DON'T KNOW THAT, THEY THEN SPEND THEIR LIFE 00:55:34.033 --> 00:55:36.066 TRYING TO FIND IT IN WHO THEY KNOW, HOW MUCH MONEY THEY MAKE, 00:55:36.166 --> 00:55:39.133 WHO THEY CAN SLEEP WITH. AND, YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO 00:55:39.233 --> 00:55:42.066 TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE SOME WAY. SO I WOULD RATHER 00:55:42.166 --> 00:55:45.867 TELL YOU AND GIVE YOU A REAL FOUNDATION. AND SO I THINK 00:55:45.967 --> 00:55:48.867 THAT'S MY THING IS LIKE, I WANT TO BE SOMEONE RAISE A FAMILY 00:55:48.967 --> 00:55:51.133 THAT IS CONFIDENT IN LIKE, NO. AND THE TRUTH IS, THIS WHOLE 00:55:51.233 --> 00:55:53.166 MESSAGE IS ANCHORED IN THE BIBLICAL STORY OF PAUL'S LIFE. 00:55:53.266 --> 00:55:56.100 HE LITERALLY GETS SAVED. EVERYBODY DON'T BELIEVE HIM. 00:55:56.200 --> 00:55:59.966 AND HE'S LIKE, YEAH, MAN, I DON'T, I DON'T CARE. LIKE I'M 00:56:00.066 --> 00:56:01.999 I'M DOING WHAT GOD TOLD ME TO DO. AND HE WROTE TWO THIRDS OF 00:56:02.099 --> 00:56:03.366 THE BIBLE, THAT SAME GUY. SO HE'S LIKE. 00:56:03.466 --> 00:56:07.000 >> HE HAD SUCH A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING. 00:56:07.100 --> 00:56:10.100 >> AND IF HE HAD ANY REASON TO BE, THAT'S ANOTHER THING PEOPLE 00:56:10.200 --> 00:56:13.000 GET SIT IN SHAME OF LIKE, WELL, I'VE DONE TOO MANY BAD THINGS. 00:56:13.100 --> 00:56:16.033 IT'S LIKE, WELL, HE WAS KILLING PEOPLE AND BELIEVED THAT GRACE 00:56:16.133 --> 00:56:19.033 WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO TURN HIS LIFE AROUND AND FOR HIM TO NOW 00:56:19.133 --> 00:56:23.033 PREACH THE MESSAGE THAT HE TRIED TO TEAR DOWN. AND IN THE 00:56:23.133 --> 00:56:25.966 SAME WAY, I THINK A LOT OF US WE TRY TO TALK GOD OUT OF HIS 00:56:26.066 --> 00:56:28.233 CHOICE BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE WE'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR WE 00:56:28.366 --> 00:56:30.300 HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH. AND IT'S JUST LIKE, MAN, WHY WOULD YOU 00:56:30.400 --> 00:56:34.099 FIGHT WHAT HE'S ALREADY DECIDED? >> EXACTLY. 00:56:34.199 --> 00:56:37.033 >> BECAUSE WHAT YOU GONNA DO IS, IS YOU GO GET TO WHERE HE WANTS 00:56:37.133 --> 00:56:40.033 YOU TO BE, AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO PUNISH YOURSELF 00:56:40.133 --> 00:56:42.066 BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD BE THERE. AND IT'S LIKE, 00:56:42.166 --> 00:56:45.233 WELL, THAT'S JUST WASTE OF EVERYBODY'S TIME, YOU KNOW? 00:56:45.333 --> 00:56:49.000 IT'S LIKE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE THERE IF HE GOT YOU THERE. JUST 00:56:49.100 --> 00:56:51.133 ENJOY IT. AND IF YOU GET IT WRONG, GUESS WHAT? WHO CARES? 00:56:51.233 --> 00:56:54.033 LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, I DON'T KNOW. SO YEAH. 00:56:54.133 --> 00:56:54.633 >> WELL, PRIDE ISN'T ROOTED. PRIDE ISN'T ROOTED IN BEING 00:56:54.733 --> 00:56:57.333 CONFIDENT. >> YEAH. 00:56:57.433 --> 00:57:00.233 >> PRIDE IS BEING ROOTED. PRIDE IS ROOTED IN SELF-SUFFICIENCY. 00:57:00.333 --> 00:57:02.267 SO IF YOUR CONFIDENCE IS IN OH ME, YES, THAT'S PRIDE. BUT IF 00:57:02.367 --> 00:57:04.333 YOUR CONFIDENCE IS IN GOD, THAT'S ACCURATE. 00:57:04.433 --> 00:57:06.400 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> AND YOU NEED TO BE CONFIDENT. 00:57:06.500 --> 00:57:10.067 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> TO DO THIS. I MEAN, PROBABLY 00:57:10.167 --> 00:57:12.200 TO PREACH AND DO ALL THE THINGS YOU'RE DOING. YOU HAVE TO BE 00:57:12.300 --> 00:57:14.267 CONFIDENT. IT'S JUST YOUR CONFIDENCE IS IN HIM AND WHO 00:57:14.367 --> 00:57:17.167 HE'S MADE YOU TO BE. >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:57:17.267 --> 00:57:21.267 >> AND I INTERVIEWED HE'S A PROPHET. HIS NAME IS DALE MOSS. 00:57:21.367 --> 00:57:24.066 HE WRITES BOOKS AS WELL. AND WE HAD A WHOLE AND HE HELPED KIND 00:57:24.166 --> 00:57:26.333 OF BREAK SOME OF THIS DOWN BECAUSE I WAS I WAS RAISED IN 00:57:26.433 --> 00:57:29.333 SOME OF THAT MENTALITY AND IT'S WELL INTENDED, BUT IT'S VERY 00:57:29.433 --> 00:57:33.133 DAMAGING. YES. AND HE WAS LIKE, YOU'RE A GIFT. AND I'M LIKE, 00:57:33.233 --> 00:57:36.133 WELL, IS THAT WRONG FOR ME TO SEE THAT I'M A GIFT THAT GOD 00:57:36.233 --> 00:57:39.133 HAS GIVEN? HE GOES, NO, BECAUSE GIFTS ARE GIVEN TO PEOPLE AND 00:57:39.233 --> 00:57:42.167 THEY HELP PEOPLE. AND HE'S LIKE, YOU ARE A GIFT, AND YOU 00:57:42.267 --> 00:57:44.300 OPERATING YOUR GIFT AS A GIFT, AND IT JUST BREAKS YOU FREE. 00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:46.333 >> ABSOLUTELY. >> BUT YOU HAVE THIS CONFIDENCE 00:57:46.433 --> 00:57:48.466 IN THE SECURITY AND THIS BOLDNESS THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING 00:57:48.566 --> 00:57:51.433 TO EVER CONJURE UP OUT OF YOURSELF. 00:57:51.533 --> 00:57:53.600 >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. WELL, IT'S LIKE ALL THE STUFF WE READ 00:57:53.700 --> 00:57:54.366 ABOUT IN THE SCRIPTURE DOES NOT HAPPEN WITHOUT A SUPERNATURAL 00:57:54.466 --> 00:57:57.400 CONFIDENCE. >> TOTALLY. 00:57:57.500 --> 00:58:00.400 >> LIKE YOU DON'T STAND UP IN FRONT OF 3000 PEOPLE AND PREACH 00:58:00.500 --> 00:58:03.166 LIKE, HEY, YOU KNOW, CHRIST IS REAL. THE JEWISH LEADERS WERE 00:58:03.266 --> 00:58:05.466 WRONG. HE'S ALIVE. UNLESS YOU'RE CONFIDENT, LIKE YOU 00:58:05.566 --> 00:58:09.166 DON'T, YOU'RE NOT IN A JAIL CELL SINGING SONGS, AND THEN 00:58:09.266 --> 00:58:11.433 GOD BREAKS YOU FREE, AND THEN YOU STOP TO TALK TO THE JAILER 00:58:11.533 --> 00:58:16.233 WHO, LIKE, COULD KILL YOU UNLESS YOU'RE CONFIDENT, YOU 00:58:16.333 --> 00:58:19.367 KNOW, LIKE, SO THERE'S THERE IS A. NOW, I DO THINK THERE'S 00:58:19.467 --> 00:58:23.400 SOMETHING TO BE SAID OF AGAIN, TO YOUR POINT, UNDERSTANDING 00:58:23.500 --> 00:58:26.167 THAT IN THAT CONFIDENCE IS A THE THE BALANCE I TALK ABOUT IN 00:58:26.267 --> 00:58:31.133 THE BOOK IS CONFIDENCE AND CONTENTMENT. SO CONFIDENCE 00:58:31.233 --> 00:58:33.333 UNTAMED CAN LEAD TO A LACK OF CONTENTMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE SO 00:58:33.433 --> 00:58:37.166 CONFIDENT THAT YOU, LIKE, WANT TO DO EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE 00:58:37.266 --> 00:58:40.166 LIKE, WELL, I'M GONNA DO THIS AND DO THAT, AND I CAN DO THAT, 00:58:40.266 --> 00:58:42.333 AND YOU DON'T REALLY ENJOY WHERE YOU ARE. THE BEAUTY IS IN, 00:58:42.433 --> 00:58:45.333 I AM EXTREMELY CONFIDENT AND I'M SUPER CONTENT. SO I'M SO 00:58:45.433 --> 00:58:48.300 CONFIDENT THAT, LIKE, MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT. MY BOOK'S 00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:51.200 GONNA DO WELL, AND I HOPE PEOPLE LIKE IT. AND I'M ALSO 00:58:51.300 --> 00:58:54.266 VERY CONTENT THAT, LIKE, IF NOBODY BUYS IT AND IT JUST 00:58:54.366 --> 00:58:57.166 HELPS MY FRIENDS AND MY WIFE, I'M COOL. LIKE, AND THAT 00:58:57.266 --> 00:59:00.533 BALANCE IS VERY DANGEROUS BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPER SECURE AND 00:59:00.633 --> 00:59:03.433 ABLE TO DO WHAT GOD'S ASKED YOU TO DO. BUT YOU'RE ALSO SECURE 00:59:03.533 --> 00:59:06.233 OUT, IT'S LIKE, OKAY, I'M OKAY. ENOUGH THAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK 00:59:06.333 --> 00:59:08.333 >> AND YEAH. >> THIS WAS ALL A BLESSING. 00:59:08.433 --> 00:59:10.400 >> YOU'RE SECURE AND YOU'RE SUBMITTED. YES. BECAUSE YOU'RE, 00:59:10.500 --> 00:59:14.200 YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WITH THAT CONFIDENCE YOU COULD DO 00:59:14.300 --> 00:59:16.533 ANYTHING, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT HE TELLS YOU TO DO, NO 00:59:16.633 --> 00:59:19.300 MORE, NO LESS. AND THAT FAMOUS VERSE THAT EVERYONE QUOTES IN 00:59:19.400 --> 00:59:21.199 PHILIPPIANS 413, I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST. PAUL'S 00:59:21.299 --> 00:59:24.166 TALKING ABOUT CONTENTMENT. >> YES, ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. 00:59:24.266 --> 00:59:27.366 >> AND SO IT'S LIKE WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST 00:59:27.466 --> 00:59:29.400 BECAUSE WE ARE CONTENT IN HIM. PAUL'S LIKE, WHETHER I'M FREE 00:59:29.500 --> 00:59:33.267 OR I'M IN PRISON, ABSOLUTELY. I'M DOING GREAT OR I'M BEATING 00:59:33.367 --> 00:59:37.133 UP, YOU KNOW, BUT HE WAS TOTALLY SOMEONE WHO HAD SUCH A 00:59:37.233 --> 00:59:39.300 CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WHO GOD IS AND WHO HE IS, AND HE WAS 00:59:39.400 --> 00:59:42.367 ABLE TO DO WHAT HE DID UNASHAMEDLY. AND THERE ARE 00:59:42.467 --> 00:59:45.367 TIMES I DON'T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE DO THIS BECAUSE I LOVE PAUL AND 00:59:45.467 --> 00:59:48.266 I STUDIED HIM IN BIBLE SCHOOL. OKAY. YEAH. SO A WHOLE CLASS 00:59:48.366 --> 00:59:52.133 ABOUT HIM. AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE LIKE, OH, PAUL'S KIND OF, YOU 00:59:52.233 --> 00:59:54.366 KNOW, COCKY AND ALL THAT. AND I WAS LIKE, NO, PAUL JUST HAD A 00:59:54.466 --> 00:59:57.466 VERY STRONG CONVICTION BECAUSE ACTUALLY WHAT HE WAS DOING WAS 00:59:57.566 --> 01:00:00.333 WILD BECAUSE OF HIS BACKGROUND IN JUDAISM. FOR HIM TO BE 01:00:00.433 --> 01:00:03.333 PREACHING TO THE GENTILES IS WILD. HE HAD TO HAVE A CLEAR 01:00:03.433 --> 01:00:07.300 CONVICTION OF WHO HE IS AND WHAT GOD HAD CALLED HIM TO DO. 01:00:07.400 --> 01:00:11.200 YOUR LEVEL OF CONFIDENCE TO ME, >> ABSOLUTELY. WELL, I THINK 01:00:11.300 --> 01:00:13.433 AND MAYBE THIS I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER SAID IT THIS WAY, BUT 01:00:13.533 --> 01:00:16.200 I DO THINK THERE'S A LEVEL OF CONNECTION BETWEEN YOUR 01:00:16.300 --> 01:00:19.233 CONFIDENCE AND YOUR CALLING. MEANING LIKE I FOR WHAT I 01:00:19.333 --> 01:00:22.300 BELIEVE GOD ASKED ME TO DO. AND I BELIEVE THIS ABOUT EVERYBODY. 01:00:22.400 --> 01:00:25.433 IT'S JUST YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT, NOT ME. BUT IT'S TRUE. IT'S 01:00:25.533 --> 01:00:29.133 LIKE I BELIEVE WHAT HE ASKED ME TO DO. AND WHAT YOU JUST SAID 01:00:29.233 --> 01:00:32.367 IS I HAVE TO BE CONFIDENT. LIKE I HAVE TO BE CONFIDENT BECAUSE 01:00:32.467 --> 01:00:36.133 I AM RAISING KIDS THAT NEED TO SEE WHAT IT IS TO BE CONTENT IN 01:00:36.233 --> 01:00:39.266 WHO GOD CALLED YOU TO BE. AND SO I HAVE TO FIGHT THESE 01:00:39.366 --> 01:00:42.433 BATTLES, AND I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, BECAUSE I NEED TO 01:00:42.533 --> 01:00:45.433 RAISE KIDS WHO KNOW WHO THEY ARE. AND IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE 01:00:45.533 --> 01:00:48.267 YOU'RE THAT IMPORTANT, THEN YOU DON'T NEED TO BE CONFIDENT. IF 01:00:48.367 --> 01:00:52.133 YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE THAT SPECIAL, WHY WOULD GOD DIE FOR 01:00:52.233 --> 01:00:54.366 YOU? IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW, LIKE IF YOU HAVE SUCH A POOR 01:00:54.466 --> 01:00:57.600 VIEW OF YOURSELF, THEN YOU DON'T REALIZE, LIKE THE VALUE 01:00:57.700 --> 01:01:00.533 INTO YOUR POINT, LIKE THE GIFT THAT YOU ARE. AND I THINK 100% 01:01:01.300 --> 01:01:03.299 WE RECOGNIZE, LIKE THE WHAT IN SOME CIRCLES THEY WOULD CALL 01:01:03.399 --> 01:01:06.800 HUMAN DEPRAVITY OF LIKE HOW JUST BROKEN AND IMPERFECT WE 01:01:06.900 --> 01:01:10.433 ARE. AND THE BIBLE SAYS, LIKE GOD IS PUTTING THIS TREASURE IN 01:01:10.533 --> 01:01:15.233 EARTHEN VESSELS. AND THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF THE GOSPEL IS 01:01:15.333 --> 01:01:18.533 LIKE, YES, THIS LIGHT HE HAS PUT INSIDE THE CRACKED POTTERY 01:01:18.633 --> 01:01:21.366 SO THAT WHEN IT SHINES, IT SHINES THE BRIGHTEST THROUGH 01:01:21.466 --> 01:01:24.367 THE PEOPLE WHO ARE THE MOST BROKEN. HE USED THE FOOLISH 01:01:24.467 --> 01:01:28.267 THINGS TO CONFOUND THE WISE. SO IT'S LIKE THIS IS THE WHOLE 01:01:28.367 --> 01:01:32.266 MESSAGE IS YES, I'M BROKEN, YES, I'M WHATEVER. AND I THINK I 01:01:32.366 --> 01:01:35.233 PREACH A LITTLE BIT AGO ABOUT IMPOSTER SYNDROME. AND IMPOSTER 01:01:35.333 --> 01:01:38.200 SYNDROME IS. >> WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME? 01:01:38.300 --> 01:01:40.200 BECAUSE I HEAR THAT TERM ALL THE TIME. I'M LIKE, WHAT DOES 01:01:40.300 --> 01:01:42.367 THAT MEAN? >> IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS I DON'T 01:01:42.467 --> 01:01:45.699 BELONG HERE. I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M 01:01:45.799 --> 01:01:48.367 SAYING? IT'S JUST I FEEL LIKE AN IMPOSTER. I FEEL LIKE I 01:01:48.467 --> 01:01:51.433 SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS ROOM. YEAH, I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AND THE 01:01:51.533 --> 01:01:54.433 FUNNY THING I SAID IS IT WAS MY OPENING STATEMENT TO MY SERMON. 01:01:54.533 --> 01:01:57.300 I WAS LIKE, IF YOU EVER STRUGGLE WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME, 01:01:57.400 --> 01:02:00.366 LET ME TELL YOU WHAT, IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS TRUE. YOU SHOULDN'T 01:02:00.466 --> 01:02:03.333 BE HERE AND YOU DON'T DESERVE IT. AND YOU'RE RIGHT. AND THE 01:02:03.433 --> 01:02:06.767 GRACE OF GOD SAYS, I KNOW YOU DON'T DESERVE IT, AND WE'LL 01:02:06.867 --> 01:02:09.033 GIVE IT TO YOU ANYWAYS. AND I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT 01:02:09.133 --> 01:02:12.367 TAKES. AND I'LL BE YOUR STRENGTH WHEN YOU'RE WEAK. AND 01:02:12.467 --> 01:02:15.400 SO THERE'S A PART OF THAT. THAT IS THE ONLY REASON THAT HAS SO 01:02:15.500 --> 01:02:18.466 MUCH POWER IS BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGHT AND SAY, NO, I 01:02:18.566 --> 01:02:21.500 DO DESERVE IT, AND I AM BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. AND THE TRUTH IS, 01:02:21.600 --> 01:02:24.466 I'M FULLY AWARE, LIKE, OH NO, I DON'T DESERVE TO BE SITTING 01:02:24.566 --> 01:02:27.367 HERE AND WRITTEN A BOOK. AND I'M SO I HAVE SO MUCH 01:02:27.467 --> 01:02:30.466 CONVICTION ABOUT THE GRACE OF GOD THAT I UNDERSTAND HOW HE 01:02:30.566 --> 01:02:33.567 WORKS. AND HE DEFINITELY CHOSE ME IN A POINT IN MY STEPS AND 01:02:33.667 --> 01:02:37.367 BROUGHT ME HERE. AND SO, NO, I DON'T DESERVE IT. BUT GOD CHOSE 01:02:37.467 --> 01:02:40.333 ME. AND NO, I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. BUT GOD CHOSE ME. AND NO, I 01:02:40.433 --> 01:02:43.499 HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE AND JUST BEEN HERE TODAY DOING A 01:02:44.333 --> 01:02:45.433 BUNCH OF SHOWS, NEVER DONE ANY OF THAT BEFORE. AND GOD BROUGHT 01:02:45.533 --> 01:02:48.433 ME HERE AND I DID IT. >> SO YEAH. 01:02:48.533 --> 01:02:51.433 >> LIKE, AT WHAT POINT ARE WE JUST GONNA EMBRACE IF GOD 01:02:51.533 --> 01:02:55.000 BROUGHT YOU HERE? EMBRACE IT. OR YOU CAN SIT THERE THE WHOLE 01:02:55.100 --> 01:02:57.366 TIME AND BE LIKE, I CAN'T, WHAT DO THEY THINK? AND BLAH, BLAH, 01:02:57.466 --> 01:03:00.400 BLAH, BLAH. AND SO, YEAH, LITERALLY TODAY THERE WAS A 01:03:00.500 --> 01:03:02.666 FUNNY STORY. WE'RE JUST BEING HONEST. THERE WAS A MOMENT I 01:03:02.766 --> 01:03:05.733 WAS PREACHING AND I REALIZED, I'M NOT LOOKING AT THE CAMERA. 01:03:06.467 --> 01:03:08.600 I LOOKED AT THE LITTLE HOLE. THAT'S NOT THE CAMERA. THAT'S 01:03:08.700 --> 01:03:10.399 THAT'S A DIFFERENT THING. AND I. >> WAS LIKE, IT'S HAPPENED TO 01:03:10.499 --> 01:03:11.700 ME SO MANY TIMES. >> JESUS, MAN, THAT'S GONNA. 01:03:11.800 --> 01:03:13.000 >> LOOK BAD ON THE THING AND WE'RE LIVE. BUT THEN I WAS LIKE, 01:03:13.100 --> 01:03:14.366 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ON TV RIGHT NOW, SO YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S 01:03:14.466 --> 01:03:15.667 FOCUS ON THE BIG PICTURE. SO. >> SO MANY THINGS. THAT'S WHY I 01:03:15.767 --> 01:03:16.600 DON'T LIKE LIVE TV. IT'S LIKE, IT'S HONESTLY KIND OF NERVE 01:03:16.700 --> 01:03:17.766 WRACKING. BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE, LIKE. 01:03:17.866 --> 01:03:21.600 >> ALL THESE DADGUM TELEPROMPTERS. WHERE'S THE. I 01:03:21.700 --> 01:03:25.566 SEE THE EYE OF A CAMERA. I KNOW. >> SO ANYWAY, IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH. 01:03:25.666 --> 01:03:28.667 >> YEAH, BUT I SAY THAT TO SAY IT'S JUST IT'S. THE TRUTH. 01:03:28.767 --> 01:03:32.367 >> IS I SPENT SO MUCH OF MY LIFE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHER 01:03:32.467 --> 01:03:36.400 PEOPLE WOULD THINK, WORRIED ABOUT HOW IT WOULD GO, THAT I 01:03:36.500 --> 01:03:39.567 JUST DIDN'T LIVE WHERE I WAS AND ENJOY WHO I WAS AND WHO I 01:03:39.667 --> 01:03:43.433 WAS WITH. AND THAT'S REALLY THE HOPE OF THIS BOOK, IS THAT YOU 01:03:43.533 --> 01:03:46.633 WOULD TAKE ALL THIS ATTENTION THAT WE SPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE, 01:03:46.733 --> 01:03:50.533 WHAT THEY'RE DOING, HOW THEY'RE DOING. AND YOU WOULD TURN THAT 01:03:50.633 --> 01:03:54.500 INTO, WHAT IS GOD GIVEN ME? WHAT IS HE SHOWN ME? WHAT IS 01:03:54.600 --> 01:03:58.700 THE FAMILY HE'S GIVEN ME, AND HOW CAN I USE THAT TO SHARE HIS 01:03:58.700 --> 01:04:01.833 LOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE? >> THAT'S SO GOOD. WELL, I 01:04:01.933 --> 01:04:05.433 THINK THAT YOU JUST SUMMED UP AND WRAPPED IT UP PERFECTLY 01:04:05.533 --> 01:04:08.066 RIGHT THERE. WELL, I WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH, CHARLES, FOR 01:04:08.166 --> 01:04:10.600 BEING HERE AND FOR WRITING. FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR 01:04:10.700 --> 01:04:12.566 THIS AMAZING CONVERSATION AND FOR THIS AMAZING BOOK. HOW CAN 01:04:12.666 --> 01:04:14.600 PEOPLE GET IT? >> ABSOLUTELY. YOU CAN GET IT 01:04:14.700 --> 01:04:17.467 ANYWHERE. BOOKS ARE SOLD. >> SO AMAZON. 01:04:17.567 --> 01:04:19.800 >> YEAH AMAZON EASY GET YOU THERE PRIME. BUT CHARLES 01:04:19.900 --> 01:04:24.433 METCALFE COMM HAS EVERYTHING ON THERE. AND YEAH SUPER GRATEFUL. 01:04:24.433 --> 01:04:26.433 THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME TODAY. >> AWESOME. WELL THANK YOU 01:04:26.533 --> 01:04:29.666 CHARLES. AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO THE REBECCA WEISS 01:04:29.666 --> 01:04:34.967 PODCAST. [MUSIC]