OR NOT I DO WHAT GOD ASKED ME TO DO, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A IT'S
A VERY SMALL LIFE, HONESTLY. >> HEY GUYS. WELCOME BACK TO
THE PODCAST. I AM JOINED WITH CHARLES METCALF THE THIRD.
>> YES, ABSOLUTELY. SO GLAD TO BE HERE. SO HAPPY.
>> THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. >> OF COURSE. ABSOLUTELY,
ABSOLUTELY. >> AND YOU ARE CAMPUS PASTOR AT
TRANSFORMATION CHURCH IN. >> TULSA, OKLAHOMA. TULSA,
OKLAHOMA. >> I LIVED THERE FOR A YEAR. I
KNOW TULSA, I DID. I WENT TO ORU FOR A HOT SECOND.
>> THERE YOU GO. >> I LOVE TULSA.
>> YEAH. >> IT'S BEAUTIFUL. SO MANY
AMAZING PEOPLE. AND I KNOW YOUR CHURCH IS DOING SO MUCH
INCREDIBLE STUFF TO REACH PEOPLE AND BE A LIGHT. AND SO
JUST THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO. >> OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> THANK YOU. SO WE'RE GOING TO GET INTO YOUR BOOK. GOD CHOSE
ME UNTOUCHABLE CONFIDENCE FOR THE UNSTOPPABLE CHRISTIAN. WHEN
I READ THAT, I WAS LIKE, I REALLY LIKE THIS TITLE. I
REALLY LIKE THAT SUBTITLE. YEAH. IT'S POWERFUL.
>> THANK YOU. YEAH. >> BUT I THINK IT WAS BIRTHED
OUT OF SOME REALLY HARD AND PAINFUL MOMENTS.
>> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. >> WE'RE BASICALLY BORN AND
RAISED IN MINISTRY WHERE YOU SAY FROM A YOUNG AGE, HOW DID
YOU GET INTO MINISTRY? >> YEAH, YEAH, I GREW UP IN
CHURCH. AMAZING. MOM AND DAD. THEY PASTORED A CHURCH GROWING
UP, AND YEAH, ALWAYS IN CHURCH. I THINK THEY WOULD TELL YOU
THERE'S A MOMENT WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID WHERE I SAID, HEY, I
WANT TO ACCEPT JESUS. AND I THINK THAT HAS BEEN MY JOURNEY.
I THINK AS I GOT OLDER AND INTO HIGH SCHOOL AND STUFF, SOME OF
THOSE MOMENTS STUCK OUT OF LIKE, DANG, I REALLY WANT TO FOLLOW
COMMIT TO THIS. AND YEAH, I CHRIST AND REALLY WANT TO
ALWAYS LOVED CHURCH. BEING IN CHURCH WAS JUST WHAT OUR FAMILY
DID. IT WAS WHO WE WERE. AND SO YEAH, IT WAS ALWAYS IN THAT.
BUT I THINK AS I GOT OLDER, I DIDN'T ALWAYS WANT TO BE A
PASTOR. THERE WERE JUST OTHER THINGS I WANTED TO DO, NOT
BECAUSE I THINK SOME PASTOR'S KIDS ARE LIKE, OH, I HATED THE
CHURCH AND I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY. I FEEL LIKE
CHURCH IS AWESOME. I JUST HAVE OTHER STUFF I LIKE. YEAH. AND
SO IT WAS ALWAYS IN THAT. BUT YEAH, I WAS I STARTED SERVING
IN A YOUTH MINISTRY, AND I WAS LEADING A SMALL GROUP OF SIXTH
GRADE BOYS, AND IT GREW AND A LOT. AND SOMEBODY KIND OF
POINTED THAT OUT AND WE'RE LIKE, HEY, HAVE YOU NOTICED, LIKE
YOUR SMALL GROUP, THERE'S A TON OF PEOPLE IN IT. AND I WAS LIKE,
OH, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I'M JUST SHARING, YOU
KNOW, JESUS AND HAVING FUN. AND AND IT KIND OF WAS THE EARLY
MOMENTS OF ME SEEING LIKE, OH MAN, MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN
THIS. AND SO YEAH, THAT STARTED OFF EARLY ON. IT BECAME A YOUTH
PASTOR. AND THAT WAS LIKE KIND OF MY JOURNEY INTO MINISTRY.
AND SO BUT YEAH, I GREW UP MOM AND DAD IN KENTUCKY, GOT A
LITTLE BROTHER WHO WAS EIGHT YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. HE'S
LIKE MY TWIN. YEAH, YEAH, WE, WE LOOK VERY, VERY SIMILAR. SO
MUCH SO IF HE COMES TO CHURCH ON A SUNDAY, HE LIVES OUT OF
STATE. BUT IF HE COMES IN TOWN, PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY WALK UP TO
HIM AND JUST START TALKING AND THAT'S. YEAH. YEAH. AND HE'S
LIKE, HE'LL JUST LISTEN BECAUSE HE'S SO KIND. HE'S LIKE, I
DON'T WANT TO SHATTER THIS MOMENT FOR YOU. BUT I'M
DEFINITELY NOT WHO YOU THINK. >> OH MY GOSH, THAT'S CRAZY.
BUT YEAH YEAH, YEAH. SO YEAH. >> THAT'S A LITTLE BIT OF MY
CHILDHOOD. >> SO YOU KIND OF HAD A MOMENT
WHERE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE KIND OF SAW THE ANOINTING GOD
HAD FOR YOU FOR MINISTRY. BUT MINISTRY IS HARD.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> YEAH.
>> THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN, BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE GET
INTO MINISTRY AND THEY'RE NOT CALLED. AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT
TO HATE ON ANYONE OR RILE ANYONE BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE GOOD
INTENTIONS. BUT I THINK IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A CLEAR CALL FROM
GOD, YEAH, YOU WON'T. YOU WON'T MAKE IT BECAUSE IT'S HARD.
>> YEAH. >> SO WHEN DID YOU KNOW LIKE
THAT? YOU KNEW THAT. YOU KNEW THAT YOU KNEW LIKE, THIS IS
WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AND I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP.
>> YEAH. >> EVEN IF IT'S DIFFICULT.
>> MAN, I WISH I HAD A BETTER ANSWER. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAD,
LIKE, A SINGULAR MOMENT WHERE THAT HAPPENED. I THINK FOR ME
IT WAS A JOURNEY OF FIGURING THAT OUT. I THINK I MY LIFE HAS
REALLY BEEN MARKED BY SAYING YES BEFORE I REALLY KNEW WHAT I
WAS SAYING YES TO. >> YEAH.
>> AND THE TRUTH IS, I THINK A LOT OF OUR LIFE IS THAT THE
TRUTH IS YOU CAN COMMIT TO SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE BECOMING.
THAT'S ACTUALLY EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET MARRIED.
YOU SAY YES TO BEING A WIFE, TO BEING A HUSBAND. BEFORE YOU
KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. YOU SAY, DO YOU COMMIT TO THESE THINGS?
AND THE TRUTH IS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO ANY OF THEM. BUT
THE MOMENT YOU SAY THOSE. I BECAME A HUSBAND BEFORE I KNEW
EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANT TO BE A HUSBAND. AND IN THE SAME WAY, I
THINK YOU CAN COMMIT TO WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO BEFORE
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU. >> KNOW AND YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT
IT IS. >> YEAH.
>> EVEN IF YOU GET A PROPHETIC WORD, YOU WON'T.
>> KNOW WHAT IT IS. YEAH, BECAUSE I'VE.
>> HAD MOMENTS IN MY LIFE I'M LIKE, THIS WAS NOT WHAT I
THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE. AND YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE ON.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> BUT YOU HAD A CLEAR
CONVICTION. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> YEAH, I THINK I MY CONVICTION WAS AROUND PEOPLE
THAT I KNEW THAT DIDN'T KNOW GOD AND THAT KIND OF CHURCH HAD
KIND OF OSTRACIZED. AND THEY DIDN'T BELONG IN CHURCH OR MADE
TOO MANY MISTAKES TO BE IN CHURCH OR DIDN'T LOOK A CERTAIN
WAY TO BE IN CHURCH. AND I JUST FELT LIKE, WELL, MAN, IF WE'RE
NOT GETTING THOSE PEOPLE WHO WILL. AND I KIND OF FELT THAT
CALL OF LIKE, WELL, I'VE GOT TO DO THAT. SOMEBODY'S GOT TO TELL
THESE PEOPLE THAT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE AND WHAT YOU'VE BEEN
THROUGH DOES NOT DEFINE WHAT CHURCH IS. THAT'S JUST CHURCH
PEOPLE SOMETIMES. AND SO, YEAH, THAT WAS ALWAYS A CLEAR
CONVICTION TO ME. I THINK THAT DROVE ME MORE SO THAN I WANT TO
DO MINISTRY OR I WANT TO PREACH. IT WAS MAN. I WANT THE PEOPLE
THAT I LOVE TO NOT HAVE TO CARRY THIS WEIGHT BY THEMSELVES
AND FOR THEM TO KNOW THE PEACE THAT I'VE FOUND. SO THAT'S
ALWAYS BEEN THE DRIVING FORCE. >> YEAH.
>> SO IT'S A BURDEN FOR PEOPLE AND FOR THE OSTRACIZED AND THE
OUTCAST. YEAH. YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. WELCOME IN THE CHURCH. YEAH.
WHICH IS A HEART. A HEART OF A PASTOR.
>> YEAH. >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
>> I THINK WELL, I THINK IT'S, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I THINK
CHURCH SOMETIMES SENDS TWO DIFFERENT MESSAGES. IT IS COME
JUST AS YOU ARE, BUT AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SMELL LIKE ANYTHING,
YOU WEAR THE RIGHT CLOTHES AND YOU LIFT YOUR HANDS AT THE
RIGHT TIMES. AND THAT'S TWO VERY CONFLICTING IDEAS. BECAUSE
THE TRUTH IS, IF I CAME LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO, I DON'T KNOW
THE SONG AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO AND WHAT
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WEAR AND ALL THOSE DIFFERENT THINGS. AND SO
I THINK I'VE SEEN THAT IN MY LIFE AND ALWAYS WANTED TO BE
SOMEONE THAT WOULD HELP. LIKE, HEY, THOSE THINGS ARE JUST
TRADITIONS OF THE PEOPLE IN HERE WHO'VE BEEN COMING FOR A
LONG TIME, BUT GOD JUST WANTS TO KNOW, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? WHAT'S GOING ON? AND I THINK, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S THE FIRST QUESTION EVER ASKED TO A HUMAN EVER IS, WHERE
ARE YOU? IN THE GARDEN. YEAH. AND I THINK, GOD, THAT'S WHAT
HAPPENS ON A SUNDAY FOR MANY PEOPLE IS THEY COME TO CHURCH
AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE
THEIR SPIRIT IS, WHERE THE HEART IS. AND THAT'S WHAT GOD
IS ASKING. HEY, WHERE ARE YOU? BECAUSE I JUST I WANT TO KNOW
AND I WANT TO HELP YOU. SO. YEAH.
>> THAT'S SO GOOD. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRADITIONS
AND THINGS THAT MEN HAVE CONSTRUCTED IN THEIR MINDS, AND
IT'S REALLY OUT OF THEIR OWN COMFORT. YEAH, KIND OF A WHEN
THEY SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENT, I THINK IT ALMOST CREATES FEAR
BECAUSE IT CHALLENGES THIS MAN MADE.
>> 100% CREATED. YEAH. >> YEAH, YEAH. LIKE, OH, YOU'RE
NOT SAVED BY THIS. YOU'RE SAVED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS. YEAH.
BUT YOU KNOW, I THINK WHERE PEOPLE GET THAT, THEY TOTALLY.
YOU'RE SO RIGHT. THEY GET IT CONFUSED BECAUSE THERE'S A
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAN MADE TRADITION AND THEN FOLLOWING
THE WORD OF GOD. >> YEAH.
>> AND YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, WHICH THE KEY FOR EVERY
BELIEVER IS THEY HAVE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS. AND I
THINK FOR ME, LIKE THE ONLY WAY I'VE BEEN ABLE TO NAVIGATE
CHURCH HURT AND JUDGMENT. YEAH. AND ALSO LIKE SEEING IS THIS
RIGHT OR IS THIS WRONG IS HIS WORD AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH
THE HOLY SPIRIT. I'M LIKE, THANK GOD, BECAUSE IF I ALL I
HAD WAS LISTENING TO PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH THAT COULD HAVE
REALLY THROWN ME OFF SOMETIMES. >> ABSOLUTELY. WELL, I THINK,
YOU KNOW, IT'S EASY TO IF, IF, IF BEFORE YOU MET ME, SOMEONE
WALKED IN AND SAID, THIS GUY IS SUPER RUDE. HE DOESN'T LIKE
CANDLES AND HE HATES THE COLOR YELLOW. YOU YOU WOULD HAVE AN
OPINION OF ME BEFORE YOU EVER MET ME, AND THEN YOU WOULD
START MAKING DECISIONS BASED OFF OF THAT. YOU WOULD BE LIKE,
OH WELL, I CAN'T DO THIS, SHOULDN'T DO THAT. AND I
THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, THAT'S THEIR EXPERIENCE
WITH CHRIST. THEY HEARD, HEY, HE'S SUPER ANGRY. HE
FEELS WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG, HE TURNS HIS BACK ON
YOU AND HE REALLY WANTS YOU TO JUST ALWAYS BE PERFECT.
SO THEY COME TO CHURCH FEELING A CERTAIN WAY. WHEN
THEY READ THEIR BIBLE, THEY FEEL A CERTAIN WAY. THE
TONE OF THE WORDS IN THAT BOOK FEEL A CERTAIN WAY WHEN YOU
THINK THE GUY'S UP THERE MAD AND WAITING FOR YOU TO MAKE A
MISTAKE. AND SO I THINK THAT'S EVEN A PART OF THE MISSION OF
TRANSFORMATION CHURCH ARE WE SAY WE'RE HERE TO REPRESENT GOD.
AND I THINK THAT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GIVEN A
PRESENTATION THAT JUST MAYBE WASN'T COMPLETELY ACCURATE OR
JUST THE WHOLE PICTURE. AND SO THAT'S MY HOPE WITH MY LIFE, IS
TO SAY, HEY, LIKE, I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE
PICTURE. AND THE TRUTH IS HE IS GRACE AND TRUTH. SO HE'S GRACE
ENOUGH TO MEET YOU WHERE YOU ARE, AND HE'S TRUTH ENOUGH TO
SAY, HEY, YOU GOT TO GROW. AND SO HE IS BOTH OF THOSE THINGS.
BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW THAT.
>> IT'S SO TRUE. AND THAT'S WHY EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW HIM FOR
THEMSELVES. BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO IT.
BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, PEOPLE HAVE TO LOOK AT THE LENS OF GOD.
THEY NEED TO SEE HIM THROUGH THE LENS OF A LOVING FATHER.
YEAH, YEAH. ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS IT SAYS IN COLOSSIANS
THAT COLOSSIANS IS THAT JESUS IS THE VISIBLE IMAGE OF THE
INVISIBLE GOD. YEAH. AND SO IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO LIKE WHAT
THE FATHER IS LIKE, YOU LOOK AT WHAT? WHO IS JESUS? YEAH.
BECAUSE HE'S A DIRECT REFLECTION. AND SO, YES, IT'S
SO BEAUTIFUL. IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW,
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOUR BOOK AND YOUR SERMON WITH GOD CHOSE ME
IS IT REALLY TACKLES THE SUBJECT OF IDENTITY, WHICH IS
SO IMPORTANT? >> YEAH, 100%.
>> SO LET'S GET INTO IT. HOW DOES SOMEONE FIGURE OUT WHO
THEY ARE? >> YEAH, WELL, I THINK THERE'S
A NATURAL JOURNEY IN LIFE THAT YOU HAVE TO RECOGNIZE, WHICH IS
THAT'S TRUE. WE GAIN IDENTITY AND SIGNIFICANCE FROM AN EARLY
AGE FROM A KEY COUPLE AREAS. WE GET IT FROM OUR FAMILY. WE GET
IT FROM THE WORDS THAT ARE SPOKEN TO US. WE GET IT FROM
OUR NATURAL GIFTS AND TALENTS. AND THEN A PART OF THAT IS LIKE
OUR CONNECTIONS, LIKE WHO WE KNOW, MAYBE OUR FRIEND CIRCLES.
AND THE THING IS, NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE WRONG. THEY'RE GREAT
PLACES AND THEY SERVE US WELL. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THOSE
THINGS SERVE YOU UNTIL THEY DON'T. AND I'VE FOUND THAT ALL
THOSE SOURCES FOR CONFIDENCE REALLY HAVE A TIMER ON THEM. SO
IF YOU GET YOUR CONFIDENCE FROM YOUR FRIEND CIRCLE IN SCHOOL,
IT'S GREAT. UNTIL YOU EITHER GRADUATE SCHOOL OR THOSE
FRIENDS DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, OR IF YOU GET YOUR CONFIDENCE
FROM A TALENT OR AN ABILITY, WELL, THAT EITHER GOES AWAY OR
SOMEONE CAN DO IT BETTER. OR IF YOU GET IT FROM MAKING MONEY,
THERE ARE THINGS OUTSIDE OF YOUR CONTROL. THE ECONOMY CAN
CRASH AND YOU CAN'T MAKE MONEY ANYMORE. AND NOW YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU ARE. AND SO I THINK WE JUST FIRST HAVE TO START BY
BEING HONEST. AND THE HONEST TRUTH IS WE GAIN SIGNIFICANCE
FROM USUALLY OUR PERFORMANCE, THE PEOPLE WE KNOW AND OUR
POSITION. SO THAT'S HOW I AMALGAMATE THIS IDEA OF I AM
GOOD BECAUSE I CAN MAKE MONEY, I CAN DO THIS, I'M SMART, I'M
WHATEVER, AND THAT'S FINE. BUT YOU HAVE TO REALIZE AT SOME
POINT THOSE THINGS ARE GOING TO FADE. AND WHEN THEY FADE, WHERE
WILL YOU BE? WHAT WILL BE YOUR SOURCE? WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO
GET SECURITY? WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET IDENTITY WHEN YOU
CAN'T DO THOSE THINGS ANYMORE? WHEN PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHO YOU
ARE, WHEN EVERYBODY'S NOT ON YOUR SIDE. AND I THINK THAT'S
THE QUESTION THAT WE ALL HAVE TO FACE DOWN AT SOME POINT IN
YOUR LIFE. AND FOR ME, AS I FACE THAT QUESTION, I REALIZED
THAT I HAD TO HAVE A GREATER SOURCE OF CONFIDENCE, AND IT
COULDN'T BE JUST MY TALENT OR WHAT I COULD DO, OR WHO I KNEW.
IT HAD TO BE GENUINELY FROM GOD. AND IT STEMS. THERE'S A PORTION
OF SCRIPTURE, GALATIANS CHAPTER ONE, WHERE PAUL IS KIND OF LIKE
HE'S KIND OF LIKE RANTING BACK TO THESE PEOPLE BECAUSE, YOU
KNOW, HE'S SAUL, HE'S KILLING CHRISTIANS, HE GETS SAVED, AND
EVERYBODY DOESN'T BELIEVE HIM. THEY'RE LIKE, NO, YOU DIDN'T
REALLY GET SAVED. LIKE, THERE'S NO WAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING? AND SO HE WRITES THIS LETTER AND HE'S LIKE, HEY, MY
NAME IS PAUL AND I'M A SLAVE OF CHRIST. AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, I
DIDN'T GET THIS REVELATION FROM ANY HUMAN. NOBODY HUMAN GAVE IT
TO ME. JESUS TAUGHT ME HIMSELF. AND THEN HE SAYS, BEFORE I WAS
BORN, GOD CHOSE ME. HE GOES ON TO SAY LATER IN THE LETTER INTO
CHAPTER TWO, HE WAS LIKE, WHEN I GOT WHEN I GOT THIS MESSAGE,
I DIDN'T WAIT AROUND TO GET IT APPROVED BY ANYBODY ELSE, HE
SAID. I IMMEDIATELY STARTED PREACHING IT. AND THEN HE SAYS,
14 YEARS LATER, I WENT TO MEET THIS PERSON AND THAT PERSON.
AND THERE'S A LITTLE CAVEAT, HE SAYS, ALTHOUGH IT DIDN'T MATTER
TO ME WHO THEY WERE BECAUSE GOD APPOINTS PEOPLE. SO HE'S JUST
SPEAKING WITH THIS CONFIDENCE. THAT IS, AFTER GOD CHOSE ME, I
IMMEDIATELY STARTED DOING WHAT HE CREATED ME TO DO. AND I
DIDN'T WAIT AROUND FOR THE APPROVAL. APPROVAL OF PEOPLE.
YEAH, AND I THINK JUST THE HONEST TRUTH IS, MANY OF US,
IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHO WE ARE BECAUSE WE'VE GAINED ALL OUR
SIGNIFICANCE FROM OTHER PEOPLE. AND SO IF THEY SAY WE'RE GREAT,
WE'RE GREAT. BUT IF THEY SAY WE'RE BAD, WE'RE BAD, AND IT'S
JUST A TERRIBLE ROLLERCOASTER OF LIFE TO RIDE. AND SO I JUST
CHOSE TO GET OFF THE RIDE. >> YEAH. AND I THINK ALL OF US
AT SOME POINT CAN MAKE THAT CHOICE TO GET OFF THE RIDE. AND
IT'S IMPERATIVE BECAUSE REALLY, IS IT TRUE?
>> 100%. >> AND THE BIBLE SAID THAT ONE
OF THE THINGS GOD TAUGHT ME WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY MY
THIRD KID IS HE SAID HE LED ME TO THAT VERSE IN JEREMIAH THAT
SAYS, BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN GOD, BUT CURSED IS
THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN MAN, AND THAT EVEN MEANS YOURSELF. AND
SO WE'RE IN NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, NO PERSON OR OURSELVES
ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SOURCE. YEAH, YEAH. AND IT REALLY IS A
TRAP. AND IT REALLY IS SHIFTING SAND. BECAUSE AT ANY POINT CAN
PEOPLE'S OPINIONS OF YOU CHANGE. AND A LOT OF TIMES IF YOU'RE
WALKING IN THE CALL OF GOD, YOU'RE GOING TO BE PEOPLE WHO
STRAIGHT UP OPPOSE YOU. >> YEAH, YEAH.
>> WE DON'T REALIZE THAT AS MUCH IN THE WESTERN CHURCH
BECAUSE IT IS MORE ACCEPTED HERE, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN 100%.
AND SO IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO GET OFF THAT RIDE. AND GOD IS
LOVING ENOUGH A LOT OF TIMES TO TAKE US THROUGH TRIALS.
>> YEAH, YEAH. >> TO BASICALLY HIGHLIGHT LIKE,
OKAY, YEAH, I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH AS MY CHILD TO KEEP YOU HERE.
YEAH. SO WAS THERE A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU WERE LIKE,
I GOTTA JUMP OFF THIS RIDE? >> YEAH, YEAH, I THINK IN 2020
WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY HAD A TOUGH YEAR THAT YEAR. AND
I THINK FOR ME IT MANIFESTED IN JUST A DEEP DEPRESSION AND
ANXIETY AND FEELING OVERWHELMED. AND IT ALL KIND OF HINGED TO
THIS IDEA AND FEAR THAT I JUST DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TO DO WHAT
YOU'VE ASKED ME TO DO. YOU KNOW, LIKE.
>> WITHIN YOURSELF. >> YES, ABSOLUTELY. LIKE I
THERE'S A STORY I WRITE ABOUT IN THE BOOK. BUT WHEN I WAS
REALLY YOUNG, I GREW UP PLAYING SPORTS, CAPTAIN OF THE
BASKETBALL TEAM. COACH DRAWS UP THE PLAY, I GET THE BALL, DRIVE,
GET FOULED. IF I MAKE ONE FREE THROW TO TIE THE GAME, IF I
MAKE THEM BOTH, WE WIN THE GAME AND I MISSED BOTH OF THEM. AND
I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT MOMENT. SIXTH GRADE KID, AND WHAT I
FELT WAS I'M GOOD ENOUGH TO BE THE CAPTAIN, GOOD ENOUGH FOR
THE COACH TO DRAW UP THE PLAY FOR ME. BUT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH
TO SEE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. AND THAT WAS THE IDEA THAT IT'S
LIKE, NO, YOU'VE GOT IT'S CLEARLY SOMETHING'S ON YOUR
LIFE, YOU'RE CLEARLY SPECIAL, YOU CLEARLY BLAH BLAH, BLAH.
BUT LIKE AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH. AND THAT
LIE STUCK WITH ME MY WHOLE LIFE. I FELT THAT WAY IN MARRIAGE
LIKE, NO, I'M GONNA GET MARRIED. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. BUT LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL HAVE ENOUGH TO HAVE A LONG, FAITHFUL,
FRUITFUL MARRIAGE. LIKE, I JUST DON'T KNOW OR MINISTRY. I'LL
PROBABLY START OFF STRONG, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL. AND JUST
ALL THOSE QUESTIONS, AND I THINK WE ALL HAVE INTERNAL
STORIES AND LIES THAT WE BELIEVE THAT ARE BASED OFF OF A
REAL EXPERIENCE WE HAD. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, SHOOTING A
FREE THROW IN SIXTH GRADE IS NOT THE SAME AS GETTING MARRIED,
OR LEADING A CHURCH OR BECOMING AN ADULT, BUT TRAUMA DOESN'T
KNOW THAT YOUR TRAUMA IS STORED AT THE SAME PART OF YOUR BRAIN
THAT YOUR INSTINCTS ARE, AND IT CAN IS REAL OR NOT REAL. SO THE
WAY YOUR BODY PROCESSES TRAUMA IS YOU CAN BE IN A DIFFERENT
SITUATION, BUT IF IT FEELS SIMILAR, YOUR BRAIN'S LIKE,
THIS IS THE EXACT SAME THING, AND YOU COULD BE A GROWN PERSON
AND FEEL LIKE, OH, I HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK AND SOMETHING
HAPPENED WITH YOUR HOUSE AND YOU REVERT BACK TO FEELING LIKE
I'M A LITTLE KID, I'M OUT OF CONTROL. I DON'T HAVE ANYWHERE
TO LIVE. AND SO ALL OF US, WE HAVE THESE STORIES THAT WE'VE
CARRIED FROM SOME POINT IN OUR LIFE. AND AGAIN, YOU GET MET
WITH A MOMENT IN LIFE WHERE IT'S LIKE, MAN, I CAN'T, I
CAN'T DO THIS. AND FOR ME, THAT WAS 2020. IT WAS DEEP
DEPRESSION, SUICIDE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND JUST FEELING LIKE,
I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS PRESSURE. I CAN'T HANDLE IT. AND YEAH,
THAT WAS REALLY THE MOMENT FOR ME OF LIKE, I'VE GOT TO FIGURE
SOMETHING OUT. LIKE, I'M I DON'T HAVE ANY DESIRE TO LIVE.
I DON'T HAVE ANY PEACE. LIKE I'M HAVING PANIC ATTACKS ALL
THE TIME. I HAD ONE WHILE I WAS PREACHING.
>> REALLY? >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. LIKE AND.
>> ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE PANIC ATTACKS, I'VE HAD THEM BEFORE.
THEY ARE. SO THEY'RE ONE OF THE SCARIEST THINGS YOU CAN
EXPERIENCE. >> ABSOLUTELY. I WAS.
>> HAVING YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE.
>> OH, ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. >> YOUR WHOLE.
>> YOUR WHOLE BODY IS SHAKING. YOUR HEART'S POUNDING LIKE WAS
HAVING. >> IT'S HARD TO GET.
>> OUT EVERY SINGLE DAY. LIKE EVERY DAY FOR MONTHS, JUST LIKE.
>> REALLY? >> YEAH. AND SO IT WAS JUST AT
A POINT WHERE IT'S LIKE, I CAN'T, I CAN'T DO THIS. LIKE, I
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. AND SO. >> YEAH, YOU REALIZE SOMETHING
HAS TO CHANGE. YEAH. DID YOU OPEN UP TO ANYONE RIGHT AWAY OR
DID YOU KIND OF TRY TO JUST TRY. >> TO FIGURE OUT DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT WAS HAPPENING. YEAH, I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT WAS
HAPPENING. BUT SLOWLY BUT SURELY, YEAH. SOME FRIENDS
AROUND ME THAT WERE JUST LIKE, MAN, I DON'T I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THIS IS, BUT THIS IS WHAT I'M FEELING. ONE SPECIFICALLY
HAPPENED WHILE I WAS PREACHING AND I FINISHED PREACHING, AND I
IMMEDIATELY JUST WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM, WENT IN THE.
>> GREEN PREACH WITH THE PANIC ATTACK. HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
>> OH, MAN. >> JUST HELD ON FOR MY DEAR
LIFE. THAT'S HOW I DID IT. SO YEAH, BUT LIKE SO SOME OF MY
FRIENDS HAD SEEN, THEY SAW LIKE SOMETHING'S LIKE. YEAH. AND SO
YEAH, JUST STARTED TALKING AND IT SLOWLY BEGAN THIS PROCESS OF
JUST A LOT OF DIFFERENT PRACTICES IN MY LIFE OF TRYING
TO CULTIVATE AND FIGHT FOR PEACE. AND THAT'S THE THING I
THINK IS IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO KNOW. THE SCRIPTURE SAYS,
BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS. AND I THINK WE POSITION PEACE A
LOT OF TIMES AS SOMETHING YOU FIND VERSUS SOMETHING YOU MAKE.
AND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE TWO. SO SOMETIMES
IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO MAKE PEACE, MEANING YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR
ENVIRONMENT. SO YEAH, OUR HOME, IT WAS LIKE WE PLAYED WORSHIP
MUSIC IN OUR HOUSE 24 OVER SEVEN ALL THE TIME. IT WAS LIKE,
THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT PLAYS IN OUR HOUSE. NO TV, NO
MOVIES, NO NOTHING. JUST WORSHIP MUSIC. GOT OFF SOCIAL
MEDIA FOR TEN MONTHS, LIKE ELIMINATED. JUST STUFF THAT
IT'S LIKE. >> HOW'D YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
>> YEAH, I THINK I ASKED PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, I JUST, I ADMITTED,
YO, WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? I STARTED GOING TO THERAPY. I
STARTED TALKING TO MY FRIENDS WHO HAD DEALT WITH STUFF,
STARTED REACHING OUT TO OTHER PEOPLE I KNEW WHO HAD STRUGGLED
WITH STUFF. AND I THINK YOU JUST GOT TO ASK FOR HELP. I
THINK, YOU KNOW, THERE'S THIS, YOU KNOW, WE RAISE OUR KIDS TO
BE INDEPENDENT, WHICH IS NECESSARY. AND THERE'S A LOT OF
THINGS IN LIFE THAT YOU CAN'T NAVIGATE BY YOURSELF. AND SO
YOU HAVE TO LEARN OF LIKE, OH MAN, I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP TO
FIGURE OUT HOW TO REGULATE, HOW TO HAVE TWO REALLY GOOD FRIENDS
THAT DO A LOT OF PRACTICE OF SILENCE AND SOLITUDE AND JUST
BEING QUIET AND LISTENING TO GOD. AND I THINK A LOT OF
PEOPLE'S TIME WITH GOD IS VERY PERFORMANCE BASED. SO IT'S LIKE,
HOW MUCH OF THE BIBLE CAN I READ? HOW MUCH LIKE, YOU GOT
YOUR STREAK ON YOUVERSION? >> YEAH. YEAH, EXACTLY.
>> AND IT'S LIKE YOU LEAVE FEELING LIKE I DID IT. YEAH.
VERSUS LIKE I RECEIVED SOMETHING. AND SO FOR ME, I
STARTED DOING I STILL DO IT TO THIS DAY OF SEVEN MINUTES OF
JUST SITTING THERE QUIET, JUST NOT SAYING NOTHING, NOT READING
THE SCRIPTURE, NOT ASKING GOD TO DO NOTHING FOR ME, JUST
SITTING THERE. >> AND DISCIPLINE SOMETIMES.
>> YEAH, IT TOOK TIME. IT STARTED OFF AS ONE MINUTE. IT
STARTED. >> OFF AS LIKE.
>> I'M JUST LIKE, THIS IS WEIRD. I AIN'T GOT NOTHING I'M GONNA
BE LIKE. >> BUT IT GREW JUST TO, LIKE,
I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE AND SEE. AND I THINK THOSE ARE, YOU KNOW,
SCRIPTURE SAYS HE LEADS ME BESIDE STILL WATERS. YEAH. AND
I THINK THAT'S THE, THE BEAUTIFUL THING THAT I FOUND.
BUT IT WAS IT WAS PRACTICE. IT WAS PEOPLE. IT WAS GOD'S
PRESENCE. AND IT WAS THOSE PRACTICES THAT REALLY HELPED ME
START TO MOVE FORWARD. >> THAT'S THE THING WITH TRIALS
AND DIFFICULTIES IS FOR ME, I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO SHIFT PAST
BECAUSE I USED TO JUST GET CAUGHT UP ON WHY IS THIS
HAPPENING, AND KIND OF BEING FRUSTRATED WITH THE LORD AND
THEN LEANING INTO GOD IS GOOD. YEAH. AND HE CAN USE EVEN THESE
THINGS DON'T EVEN COME FROM HIM, BUT HE CAN USE THESE THINGS TO
DO SOMETHING GOOD IN YOU AND TO CHANGE THE RHYTHM OF YOUR LIFE.
AND IT'S ACTUALLY NECESSARY FOR WHAT IS COMING DOWN THE ROAD
100%. AND SO IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU KIND OF EVEN GOT A CHANGE OF
PACE. OH YEAH. >> ABSOLUTELY.
>> YEAH, YEAH. WHICH IS IMPORTANT FOR THE FUTURE AS
WELL. >> WELL, I THINK IT'S JUST
IMPORTANT TO JUST EMBRACE WHATEVER SEASON YOU'RE IN AND
WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD OR NOT. I THINK, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A
STORY IN THE BIBLE, THE BOOK OF JOB THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T
EVER TALK ABOUT. BUT IT IS A PART OF THE BIBLE. AND JOB'S
WIFE, A BUNCH OF TERRIBLE STUFF HAPPENED TO HIM, AND HE'S KIND
OF MAD, LIKE, YOU KNOW, GOD, WHAT'S GOING ON? AND HIS WIFE
KIND OF SAYS SOMETHING AND JOB SAYS, SHOULD WE ONLY ACCEPT
GOOD GIFTS FROM GOD? AND WHAT HE'S SAYING IS LIKE, HEY, HE
LIKE GAVE ME THE BREATH OF MY LUNGS. AND FOR ME TO SAY IT
ALWAYS HAS TO BE PERFECT FOR YOU TO BE MY GOD. IT'S KIND OF
JUST NOT A REAL THING. LIKE, YOU KNOW, STUFF HAPPENS IN LIFE
AND SOME OF IT IS JUST THE FALLEN WORLD, AND SOME OF IT IS
THINGS THAT WE CAN'T EXPLAIN AND WE WILL NEVER KNOW UNTIL WE
GET TO HEAVEN. AND BUT I THINK THE BEAUTY OF LIFE IS ACCEPTING
THE GOOD AND THE BAD. THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF ANY RELATIONSHIP
THAT YOU'RE A PART OF, IS I DON'T LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE
SHE'S PERFECT. I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE I CHOSE TO LOVE HER,
AND SHE'S WHO I COMMITTED MY LIFE TO, NOT BECAUSE I
UNDERSTAND HER DECISIONS ALL THE TIME OR IT MAKES SENSE. AND
I THINK, YOU KNOW, EVERY ILLUSTRATION OF GOD FALLS SHORT
AT SOME POINT, BUT TO SOME EXTENT, IT'S LIKE I DIDN'T SIGN
UP TO LOVE GOD BECAUSE HE WOULD GET ME OUT OF HELL AND GIVE ME
A NEW CAR. LIKE, THAT'S NOT A THING.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? THERE'S NO.
>> IT'S JUST I CHOSE TO LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY
PERSON WHO COULD SAVE ME. AND HE'S THE ONLY PERSON THAT COULD
CARRY THIS BURDEN THAT I CANNOT CARRY. AND SO THAT MEANS I'M
GOING TO GO THROUGH HARD THINGS. AND THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
THE FACT OF, DO I LOVE GOD? THIS JUST MEANS I'M HAVING
EXPERIENCING LIFE. AND I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING I'VE
EXPERIENCED TOO, IS SOME PEOPLE IT IN A SENSE, EVERYTHING IS
LIKE, WELL, GOD IS DOING THIS, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. AND SOME OF
IT'S LIKE SOME OF IT YOU'RE JUST EXPERIENCING LIFE LIKE,
YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES.
AND IT'S NOT THIS TERRIBLE THING. IT'S JUST, MAN, THIS IS
JUST LIFE. AND AND WE CAN STILL MOVE FORWARD. AND SO YEAH.
>> YEAH, WE LIVE IN A FALLEN WORLD. AND SOMETIMES IT'S OTHER
PEOPLE'S DECISIONS THAT WILL AFFECT US BECAUSE EVERYTHING WE
DO CAN AFFECT AFFECTS OTHER PEOPLE. AND I THINK IN AMERICA
WE HAVE SUCH AN INDIVIDUAL MINDSET. WE DON'T EVEN REALIZE
THAT SOMETIMES. YEAH, BUT THAT'S WISDOM TOO. I LOVE WHAT
YOU SAID ABOUT MARRIAGE, AND I THINK YOU HAVE TO HAVE THAT
MINDSET WITH EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS GOING TO BE THINGS
THAT IT'S NOT GOING TO ALWAYS BE PERFECT, AND YOU CAN'T GET
HUNG UP ON THE THINGS THAT ARE JUST BOTHERING YOU. YEAH. YOU
KNOW, IT'S GOING TO BE A SNARE IN YOUR MIND. IT'S GOING TO
AFFECT YOUR MARRIAGE. AND ALSO, YOU KNOW WHAT THE LORD HAS
SHOWN ME THROUGH STUDYING HIS WORD IS THAT THE BIBLE TALKS
ABOUT SUFFERING. PAUL TALKS ABOUT SUFFERING, JESUS TALKS
ABOUT SUFFERING. AND WE, BECAUSE WE LIVE IN AMERICA, OUR
SUFFERING ISN'T ALWAYS THE SAME AS OTHER PLACES. AND I THINK
SOMETIMES WE FORGET BUT SUFFER. THERE IS ALSO A PURPOSEFUL
SUFFERING FOR THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> YEAH. AND YOU KNOW, PAUL HAD
AND WE EXPERIENCED THAT AS TOO, AS AMERICAN CHRISTIANS. BUT
PAUL, YOU KNOW, BEATEN, IMPRISONED, JESUS DIES ON THE
CROSS. HE'S THE IT WAS THE ONLY WAY. AND SO SOMETIMES SUFFERING
IS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR THE KINGDOM. YEAH. YOU KNOW, THE
BIBLE SAYS THE KINGDOM SUFFERS VIOLENCE AND THE VIOLENT TAKE
IT BY FORCE. AND SO THERE IS THIS CONCEPT THAT THERE THAT
THERE CAN BE ALSO PURPOSE IN SUFFERING. IF WE CAN JUST LEARN
TO EMBRACE GOD IN THE MIDST OF IT, KNOWING THAT IT'S FOR A
GOOD AND UNDERSTANDING THAT PAUL SAYS THAT OUR SUFFERING
THAT WE ENDURE NOW IS LIGHT AND MOMENTARY COMPARED TO THE GLORY
THAT'S IN STORE. AND SO HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO HAVE THAT
ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE? >> ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY.
>> GOING THROUGH THE HARD. >> YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW, JESUS
SAYS IN THE SCRIPTURES, HE'S LIKE, IF ANYONE WANTS TO FOLLOW
ME, YOU GOT TO PICK UP YOUR CROSS DAILY AND FOLLOW ME. AND
WE HEAR THAT AND WE THINK OF THE CROSS TATTOO. WE'VE SEEN
THE GOLD NECKLACE WE GOT AT THE BOOKSTORE OR WHATEVER. THEY
WOULD HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF JESUS. THE CROSS IS NOT ASSOCIATED
WITH JESUS AT THIS POINT. IT'S ASSOCIATED WITH THE ROMAN
GOVERNMENT AND THAT IS HOW THEY TORTURE BAD PEOPLE IN THE CROSS.
SO THE IMAGERY THEY WOULD HAVE HAD IS NOT THIS LIKE, OH JESUS
ON THE CROSS, HE'S SAVING US. THEY WOULD HAVE. THOUGHT
THEY'LL HAVE NO ASSOCIATION WITH JESUS.
>> IT'S NOT THIS POSITIVE IMAGE. >> NO, IT'S NOT A IT'S A
TERRIBLE. >> IT'S THE PEOPLE.
>> YES. IT'S LIKE THAT IS TERRIFYING. WHY IS HE BRINGING
UP A CROSS LIKE THAT IS WHERE BAD THINGS GO TO DIE. AND
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. AND SO I THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT A
OUR FAITH IS MARKED BY A 33 YEAR OLD MAN WHO WAS KILLED FOR
WHAT? HE SAID. ALL HIS FRIENDS WERE THEN KILLED FOR BELIEVING.
HE SAID WHAT HE SAID. AND THEN ALL THEIR FOLLOWERS WERE
PERSECUTED FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED, HE SAID. AND NOW IT'S
LIKE WHEN THINGS START GOING BAD, IT'S LIKE, WELL, WE MUST
BE OUT OF GOD'S WILL, IT MUST BE WRONG. AND IT'S LIKE, THAT
WAS KIND OF THE WHOLE MARKER OF THE THING EARLY ON WAS LIKE,
PEOPLE WERE GETTING PERSECUTED AND DIED FOR IT. SO NOT TO SAY
IN THIS GRUESOME THING, BUT IT'S LIKE SUFFERING IS VERY
MUCH A PART OF IT. AND SOME OF THAT, AGAIN, TO YOUR POINT, IS
LIKE JUST BECAUSE THE WORLD WE LIVE IN, BUT THEN SOME OF IT IS
THERE'S ONLY CERTAIN WAYS TO GET CERTAIN THINGS OUT OF YOU.
MEANING WHEN YOU WORK OUT, THERE'S YOU CAN GO TO THE GYM
AND JUST LIFT THE 5 POUND DUMBBELLS YOUR WHOLE LIFE, BUT
THERE ARE CERTAIN PAIN THAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU GET
MORE WEIGHT. THAT'S JUST THE ONLY WAY TO GET GROWTH IN YOUR
MUSCLES IS YOU HAVE TO FEEL THAT PAIN, AND TO SAY THAT YOU
WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT PAIN AND YOU WANT TO FOLLOW
JESUS IS A LITTLE BIT OF A CONTRADICTORY STATEMENT BECAUSE
IT'S LIKE, OH YEAH, THAT'S NOT WHAT HE NEVER PROMISED THAT WE
WOULD NOT HAVE PAIN AND THAT THINGS WOULDN'T BE GOOD. HE
SAID THE EXACT OPPOSITE. HE'S LIKE, OH YEAH, IN THIS LIFE YOU
WILL HAVE TROUBLES LIKE THEY HATED ME. THEY'RE GONNA HATE
YOU. LIKE HE GAVE US ALL THOSE WARNINGS. AND SO I THINK TO ME,
THAT'S EVEN A PART OF HOW WE PREACH THE BIBLE AND THE GOSPEL,
EVEN AS A PREACHER IS LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO. I HEARD SOMEBODY
SAY ONE TIME, HOW YOU CATCH THEM IS HOW YOU GOT TO KEEP
THEM. AND SO WE LIKE TO CATCH PEOPLE WITH THE SAVIOR THAT
MAKES YOUR LIFE PERFECT. WELL, THEN WE GOTTA KEEP THEM WITH A
LIFE THAT IS PERFECT VERSUS LIKE, HEY, LET ME BE. IF YOU
HEAR ME DO SALVATION CALL, I'LL BE LIKE, HEY, LET ME BE CLEAR
WITH YOU. THIS ISN'T GOING TO FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, YOUR
LIFE. YOU CAN WAKE UP TOMORROW AND STILL HAVE BILLS AND STILL
BE MAD AT YOUR HUSBAND. LIKE SO. DON'T DON'T LIKE, DON'T LET ME
SELL YOU ON. JESUS IS GOING TO TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY. WHAT I
WILL SAY YOU ON IT SELL YOU ON IS. HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN
HELP YOU CARRY THIS WEIGHT. HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHOW
YOU WHO YOU REALLY ARE. HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT'LL BE THERE
FOR YOU WHEN THIS HAPPENS AGAIN. >> NO MATTER WHAT.
>> NO MATTER WHAT. AND I. >> THE ONLY ONE.
>> YEAH, THE ONLY ONE. AND I THINK WE'VE SEEN A LOT OF
PEOPLE WALK AWAY FROM THEIR FAITH, DECONSTRUCT THEIR FAITH,
BECAUSE SOME OF THE PREMISES THEY WERE SOLD WEREN'T COMPLETE.
YOU KNOW, LIKE EXPECTATIONS. YES. YOU HAVE KIDS. LIKE I TELL
MY SON RIGHT NOW, HIS RULE IS DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE, I DON'T
CARE. DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE. WELL, IF HE TAKES IF THAT'S THE
ONLY UNDERSTANDING I EVER GIVE HIM, HE WILL BE 40 YEARS OLD
AND NEVER HAVE COOKED A MEAL. BECAUSE THE ONLY UNDERSTANDING
I GAVE HIM WAS NEVER TOUCH A STOVE VERSUS HEY, THE REASON I
TELL YOU NOT TO TOUCH A STOVE NOW IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE
THE MATURITY TO KNOW, OH, MOM OR DAD MIGHT HAVE JUST BEEN
USING IT, OR IT'S ON OR IT'S OFF. AND SO AT THIS LEVEL, WHAT
YOU NEED TO KNOW IS DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE. BUT THE TRUTH IS, AT
SOME POINT I NEED TO TEACH YOU HOW TO DO THIS. AND SIMILARLY,
IF YOU TELL PEOPLE A GOSPEL THAT'S LIKE, HEY, GOD'S GOING
TO SAVE YOU AND EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE GOOD, IT'S LIKE,
WELL, IMMEDIATELY, YES, IT'S GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE ETERNITY
IS SECURE. AND, YOU KNOW, I'M SAYING BUT LIKE ALSO IT MIGHT
BE BAD. SO YEAH, IT'S JUST. >> IT MIGHT GET HARDER A LITTLE
BIT. >> YEAH. YEAH, 100%.
>> SPEAKING OF AND THERE'S SPIRITUAL WARFARE AS WELL. AND
I MEAN, YOU WENT THROUGH IT WRITING THIS BOOK.
>> YEAH. >> YEAH. I MEAN SOME SERIOUS
STUFF. TELL TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.
>> WHICH PART ARE YOU REFERRING TO? THERE'S A LOT OF THERE'S A
LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS, I THINK. YEAH.
>> YEAH, YEAH. I WAS THINKING OF THE ACCIDENT.
>> OH, YEAH? YEAH, YEAH. >> WELL, I THINK.
>> BUT IF YOU WANT TO INCLUDE ANYTHING ELSE.
>> NO NO NO NO NO. WELL, I JUST THINK I.
>> THINK ANYTHING YOU GO TO DO, ANYTIME YOU GO TO DO SOMETHING,
THEY'RE JUST ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES FOR THERE'S
ALWAYS AN EXIT TO QUIT IS THE WAY I WOULD PUT IT. ANYTIME
YOU'RE ON THE HIGHWAY OF TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE, THERE'S
ALWAYS AN OPTION TO GET OFF. AND I THINK ONE THING THAT
HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS SEASON WAS I'M AN AVID CYCLIST
OR I 150, 200 MILES A WEEK RACE BIKES HAVE A RACE COMING UP A
COUPLE OF WEEKS, SO IT'S JUST SOMETHING I LOVE TO DO. I
STARTED DOING THAT. THAT WAS ONE OF THE THINGS I STARTED
DOING OUT OF DEPRESSION. EXERCISE IS SUPER GOOD FOR YOU.
AND SO I STARTED DOING THAT AND JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH IT AND
GOT OBSESSED WITH IT. AND SO BUT I WAS ON A RIDE AND LONG
STORY SHORT, GOT HIT BY A CAR GOING 40 MILES AN HOUR. WHAT?
AND. YEAH YEAH YEAH. AND GOT. >> WAIT HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD
ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY
KNOW THE STORY LIKE LITERALLY A MILLION TIMES, BUT I NEED
DETAILS. DID YOU. SO, LIKE, YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE
CAR. >> YEAH. YEAH. SO I.
>> WAS I WAS GOING DOWN THE ROAD. I DO A RIDE EVERY SINGLE
MORNING WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS. AND SO THERE'S A SPOT WHERE WE
SPLIT UP THAT'S LIKE, EVERYBODY GOES TO THEIR HOUSE. AND SO I
WAS JUST A COUPLE MINUTES AWAY FROM MY HOME, AND I WAS RIDING
DOWN THIS ROAD. I SIGNALED, HEY, I'M ABOUT TO TURN LEFT. LOOK
BEHIND ME. NOBODY'S BACK THERE. SIGNALED AGAIN, LOOK BACK. THE
CAR IS BACK, BUT STILL PRETTY FAR BACK. AND SO I SIGNAL AGAIN,
AND WHEN I GO TO TURN, THE CAR IS RIGHT THERE AND JUST HIT ME
AND I FALL OVER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, PASS OUT. MY FRIEND
IS DRIVING BY AND SEES ME LAID IN THE DITCH LIKE IT'S A ROAD,
BUT LIKE LAID ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. HE GETS OUT OF THE
CAR. THE PERSON WHO HIT ME GETS OUT OF THE CAR AND THEY GO TO
PICK ME UP AND I'M JUST OUT. AND SO THEY PUT ME IN MY
FRIEND'S CAR. HE DRIVES ME TO THE ER. I KIND OF COME TO IN
THE CAR RIDE AND YEAH, I HAD A I DON'T KNOW, IT'S LIKE A
LEVELS OF CONCUSSION BUT I REALLY, REALLY BAD CONCUSSION.
>> REALLY. >> NO BROKEN BONES, ANYTHING
HAD TERRIBLE SCAR. LIKE I HAVE SCARS ON THE BACK OF MY LEGS
AND STUFF FROM FALLING AND STUFF MY ELBOWS. BUT YEAH, SO
THAT HAPPENED. AND DURING THIS TIME I'M WRITING THE BOOK. THE
BOOK WAS DUE AT THAT POINT IN EIGHT WEEKS, AND I HAD ABOUT
FOUR CHAPTERS DONE. IT WAS ALREADY A CRUNCH TO GET THE
BOOK DONE, BUT I WAS AT THAT TIME TOOK ME OUT FOR FIVE WEEKS
BECAUSE FOR TWO WEEKS I, LIKE LOST MY MEMORY AND WAS TRYING
TO REMEMBER WHERE I WAS. SO ANYWAYS, JUST A TERRIBLE HAD TO
DO A BUNCH OF THERAPY AND STUFF LIKE THAT. SO ANYWAYS, YEAH,
THAT THAT HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND I THINK WHICH
I MAYBE SHARE A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE ON THIS, BUT I
THINK SOME THINGS ARE A MATTER OF HOW YOU, SOME THINGS, I
THINK ALL THINGS ARE A MATTER OF HOW YOU VIEW THEM. AND SO I
THINK THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT THERE'S, THERE IS A WORLD
WHERE I WOULD VIEW THAT AS LIKE, OH MAN, THAT WAS A SPIRITUAL
ATTACK AND TRYING TO GET ME OFF. AND THERE'S ALSO A WORLD WHERE
I VIEW IT AS THAT'S JUST, I RIDE BIKES AND I RIDE IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. AND SO THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO
HAVE GOT HIT BY BIKES. AND I SAY THAT TO SAY I THERE IS
SOMETIMES I THINK, A PRESSURE THAT CAN COME WITH LIKE, OH
GOSH, THIS WAS LIKE THE DEVIL ATTACKING ME AND WHAT WAS GOING
TO HAPPEN. AND ABSOLUTELY 1,000% THERE, SPIRITUAL WARFARE.
AND THERE'S THINGS THAT I'VE EXPERIENCED THAT IT'S LIKE, OH
MY GOSH. AND THERE ARE SOME TIMES WHERE I'M LIKE, THIS IS
JUST A REALLY DIFFICULT SITUATION. AND THIS IS A.
>> BAD THING AT THE WRONG TIME. >> AND I'M ALSO I CAN ALSO THEN
TAKE FROM IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. SO LIKE IN THAT I
LEARNED IT WAS VERY COOL THING. BUT LIKE I'M STRUGGLING WITH MY
MENTAL CLARITY AND I HAVE TO FINISH THE BOOK AND THE
PUBLISHERS ARE LIKE, HEY, YOU KNOW, GOT HIT BY A CAR, SO CAN
WE ADJUST THE DATE? AND THEY'RE LIKE, WE CAN. WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO DELAY THE RELEASE OF YOUR BOOK. AND I REALLY NEEDED TO
COME AT A CERTAIN TIME. AND SO BUT I FOUND THROUGH THAT WHAT
I'M SAYING IS THERE ARE SITUATIONS IN YOUR LIFE, IF YOU
WILL LET THEM, YOU CAN FIND VALUE FROM THEM. AND ONE OF THE
THINGS I FOUND IS I FOUND THIS QUOTE ONE DAY AND IT WAS
TALKING ABOUT WRITING AND IT SAID AMATEURS WRITE WHEN THEY
FEEL LIKE IT. PROFESSIONALS WRITE WHETHER THEY FEEL LIKE IT
OR NOT. AND FROM ON MY SCREENSAVER FOR FOUR WEEKS WAS
IT JUST WAS A BLACK SCREEN, WHITE WORDS. IT SAYS AMATEURS
WRITE WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT. PROFESSIONALS WRITE WHETHER
THEY FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT. I AM A PROFESSIONAL AND WHAT I FOUND
WAS THAT WAS THE ABILITY AND DISCIPLINE TO JUST DECIDE SOME
STUFF. AND I THINK THERE ARE MANY THINGS IN LIFE THAT WE
WAIT TO FEEL, TO THEN DO, RATHER THAN JUST TO DECIDE. SO
IT'S LIKE, I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING A PATIENT FATHER, BUT I
HAVE DECIDED I AM A PATIENT FATHER SO I CAN MAKE A DECISION,
EVEN THOUGH I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD DO. AND I
THINK MANY PEOPLE ARE. DECISIONS ARE DRIVEN BY OUR
FEELINGS. WELL, I DON'T FEEL LIKE READ MY BIBLE. I WAS LIKE,
OKAY, COOL. LIKE YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID AND SHOULD NOT BE A
PART OF THE EQUATION. WHEN YOU'RE DECIDING THE MOST
VALUABLE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE, YOU WON'T ALWAYS FEEL LIKE
BEING KIND TO YOUR SPOUSE OR DOING WHAT GOD ASKED YOU TO DO.
BUT ALL THAT TO SAY THAT SEASON, THAT'S THE LESSON I DREW FROM
IT. SO WHEN I LOOK BACK ON THAT, IT WAS LIKE, MAN, I RIDE MY
BIKE, I GET HIT BY A CAR. IT'S A CRAZY STORY TO TELL, BUT I
LEARNED I CAN MAKE SOME DISCIPLINED DECISIONS THAT ARE
GREATER THAN HOW I FEEL. AND THAT'S A VERY EMPOWERING THING
TO LEARN. >> AND YOU ALSO, DIDN'T YOU
LEARN THAT IT'S LIKE YOU WANT TO LIVE BOLDLY FROM THAT
EXPERIENCE. >> AS WELL? ABSOLUTELY.
>> WELL, I JUST THINK FROM THAT IT IS PRACTICALLY IT WAS JUST A
OH, MAN, THIS WAS A SUPER TRAUMATIC THING. AND SO I LOVE
RIDING MY BIKE AND IT'S ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS. BUT
NOW THERE'S A LEVEL OF FEAR OF LIKE, OH GEEZ, IF I GO BACK OUT
THERE, AM I GONNA HIT AGAIN? AND THAT WAS JUST TERRIBLE. AND
I THINK WE ALL HAVE MOMENTS IN LIFE WHERE WE CAN DECIDE THAT,
LIKE, IS ONE EXPERIENCE GOING TO DECIDE HOW YOU LIVE? AND I
THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, THEY MAYBE HAVE EXPERIENCES THAT
WERE DIFFICULT. THEY HAD A PAIN, A BETRAYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP.
AND SO THE WAY WE COPE WITH IT IS, OH, THAT FRIEND HURT ME, SO
I JUST WON'T HAVE FRIENDS ANYMORE. OR I WENT THROUGH A
DIVORCE SO I JUST WON'T LOVE AGAIN. OR I GOT DISAPPOINTED,
SO I WON'T HOPE AGAIN. AND IT JUST WHAT IT IS, IS A
TEMPTATION TO MAKE YOUR WORLD SMALLER AND YOU JUST SLOWLY
SHRINK TO THIS LITTLE VERSION OF LIFE THAT IS NOT REALLY FULL
OF RISK, NOT FULL OF JOY. AND FOR ME, IT WAS JUST LIKE, MAN,
I DON'T WANT TO LET THIS, YOU KNOW, PRACTICALLY IT WAS RIDING
MY BIKE, BUT MENTALLY IT WAS JUST TAKING RISKS AND DOING
STUFF YOU LOVE. AND I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, ONE THING I
WOULD SAY I PREACHED A SERMON A COUPLE WEEKS AGO TALKING ABOUT
LIKE NOT BEING AFRAID TO DIE. AND THERE'S A SCRIPTURE IN
HEBREWS THAT SAID, PRETTY MUCH GOD DIED SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO
LIVE AS SLAVES TO THE FEAR OF DEATH. AND, YOU KNOW, THE
ULTIMATE CARD THAT GOD GIVES US IS THAT WHATEVER WHAT THE
GREATEST FEAR IN HUMAN HISTORY IS, IS WE DON'T HAVE TO BE
AFRAID OF. WE DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO DIE. BECAUSE WHEN YOU
DIE, YOU GET TO SEE ME. AND I THINK MANY PEOPLE I SAID IN MY
SERMON THAT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING ALIVE
AND CHOOSING TO LIVE. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE SETTLE FOR JUST BEING
ALIVE. IT'S JUST. I'M JUST GONNA MAKE IT. I JUST GOTTA
SURVIVE. IF I CAN JUST PAY THE BILLS AND JUST, YOU KNOW, I
JUST DON'T WANT TO GET HURT. I DON'T WANT TO FALL. I DON'T
WANT TO, AND I JUST. IT'S. YOU'RE GOING TO MISS OUT ON A
LOT OF LIFE DOING IT THAT WAY. YOU GOT TO CHOOSE TO LIVE AND
LIVE BOLDLY AND OUTRAGEOUSLY AND LOVE. AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST
THINK YOU HAVE TO ELIMINATE A LOT OF LIFE TO STAY SAFE IS THE
TRUTH. YOU'RE SAYING, LIKE, IF YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO FALL,
DON'T EVER RIDE A BIKE. >> DON'T EVER.
>> DO LIKE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET HURT, DON'T EVER LOVE
ANYBODY. AND IF YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE PAIN, DON'T
EVER TRY ANYTHING. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE LIVE THAT WAY BECAUSE
THEY JUST DON'T LIKE. BUT THE TRUTH IS, YOU'RE GOING TO
EXPERIENCE PAIN. BUT THAT'S LIKE THE BEAUTY OF LIFE IS IS
BOTH OF THEM. >> SO WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO
SOMEONE IF THEY WERE ALLOWING FEAR TO HOLD THEM BACK FROM
WALKING WHAT GOD HAS FOR THEM? >> YEAH.
>> I WOULD SAY LOOK AT THE FRUIT OF YOUR FEAR AND ASK
YOURSELF, DO I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW? DO I LOVE
THIS? DO I LOVE HOW FEAR MAKES ME FEEL? DO I LOVE FEELING LIKE
I CAN'T WAKE UP TOMORROW AND SOMETHING'S GOING TO GO? LIKE,
WE GOT TO BE HONEST ABOUT THOSE THINGS, BECAUSE I THINK SOME OF
US, WE HAVE MECHANISMS THAT WE THINK KEEP US SAFE, BUT THEY
REALLY KEEP US IN BONDAGE. LIKE FEAR FEELS LIKE SOME PEOPLE
FEEL LIKE. AND I KNOW THIS FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE, FROM PEOPLE
I KNOW AND LOVE, THAT IT'S LIKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE, OH, FEAR AND
ANXIETY IS LIKE A PROTECTION THING BECAUSE I'M THINKING OF
ALL THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOMES. AND THE TRUTH IS, IT'S LIKE, OH
NO, IT'S TRYING TO KEEP YOU BOUND LIKE YOU THINK YOU'RE
THINKING THROUGH ALL THE WORST CASE SCENARIOS. BUT WHAT YOU'RE
DOING IS NEVER BEING PRESENT BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THINKING
ABOUT TOMORROW, WHAT'S GOING TO GO WRONG.
>> IT'S THE WORST. >> AND SO I JUST THINK YOU HAVE
TO BE ASK YOURSELF, LIKE, DO I LOVE THIS? DO I LOVE HOW FEAR
MAKES ME FEEL? AND DO I LOVE THE WAY I MAKE DECISIONS WHEN
I'M AFRAID? IF THE ANSWER IS NO, THEN THE BEAUTIFUL THING IS YOU
HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A DECISION. YOU CAN DECIDE, HEY,
FEAR DOESN'T RUN MY LIFE ANYMORE. AND THAT IS, I THINK,
THE BOLD WAY I WOULD SAY IT IS. IT IS A DECISION. IT IS. IT'S
REALLY THAT SIMPLE. IT'S AN EMPOWERED DECISION BY THE HOLY
SPIRIT. BUT IT IS A DECISION. IT IS I DO NOT. SOMETHING WE
SAY TO OUR KIDS ALL THE TIME IS DON'T GIVE YOUR DAY AWAY. AND
WHAT THAT MEANS IS, IS IF I WALK IN A ROOM AND YOU SAY
SOMETHING AND I THEN BREAK DOWN CRYING, OR I GET FRUSTRATED AND
I'M FRUSTRATED THE REST OF THE DAY, I GAVE MY DAY TO YOU AND
YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF HOW MY DAY GOES, BECAUSE YOU ARE
ALLOWED TO SAY SOMETHING THAT CHANGES MY ATTITUDE AND RUINS
THE REST OF MY DAY. I JUST GAVE YOU MY DAY AND I DON'T WANT
NOBODY ELSE HAVING POWER OVER MY DAY. I WANT TO DECIDE HOW MY
DAY GOES SO WE DON'T GIVE OUR DAY AWAY. LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING? I DON'T GIVE MY DAY AWAY TO FEAR. I CAN HAVE A
MOMENT OF BEING AFRAID. THAT'S OKAY. THAT'S HUMAN. BUT LIKE,
I'M NOT GOING TO WALK IN FEAR OR ANXIETY OR I DON'T, I DON'T
I DON'T WANT TO GIVE MY DAY AWAY.
>> SO DID YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO GET BACK AND KEEP WRITING? I
THINK YOU SAID YOU HAVE, YES. >> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. I
STILL I TOOK TIME OFF JUST SO NOW IT'S THINGS BUT MY HIP POPS
EVERY TIME I PEDAL. SO THAT'S JUST A LEFTOVER FROM GETTING
HIT BY A CAR. BUT SO I. >> BUT YOU'RE STILL DOING IT.
>> YEAH. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. >> THAT'S AWESOME. ONE OF THE
THINGS I FEEL AND IF I'M OFF BECAUSE I JUST THIS IS WHAT I'M
FEELING FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT. AND IF YOU'RE LIKE, I DON'T
WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS, WE CAN NOT TALK ABOUT IT. BUT I DO
FEEL LIKE YOU FACE SPIRITUAL WARFARE WRITING THIS BOOK.
>> YEAH. >> WHAT WHAT WAS THAT? BECAUSE
I FEEL LIKE IT WAS, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE, SIGNIFICANT FOR YOU.
AND IF THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT FROM THAT.
I THINK THIS WAS A LABOR OF >> NO. YEAH. I THINK NO. FOR ME,
LOVE. LIKE I THINK IT WAS A BATTLE TO GET OUT AND JUST
UNDERSTANDING, YOU KNOW, THE VALUE OF THAT. I THINK THE BIG
THING IS IN WRITING A BOOK IS ASKING AND NOT JUST WRITING A
BOOK, BUT DOING ANYTHING IS ASKING, WHAT AM I DOING THIS
FOR? AND WHAT DO I EXPECT FROM THIS? AND I THINK THAT'S A
LEVEL OF OF MAYBE SPIRITUAL WARFARE YOU CAN FACE OF LIKE IN
YOUR MIND OF JUST, YOU KNOW, QUESTIONS AND IDEAS AND
WONDERING WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN AND IS IT GOING TO BE
GOOD. >> AND SO IT WAS LIKE A MENTAL
BATTLE. YEAH, YEAH. IS IT YOUR FIRST BOOK?
>> YES. >> YEAH. OKAY. SO IT'S THAT
FIRST. SO THE ENEMY IS PROBABLY TRYING TO STOP YOU THAT IN
THERE BECAUSE THEY'LL PROBABLY BE OTHER BOOKS AS WELL.
>> YEAH. YEAH YEAH I THINK IT IS.
>> A WERE YOU AFRAID HOW IT WAS GOING TO PERFORM.
>> I THINK A LITTLE I THINK YEAH, THAT'S JUST A HUMAN
EXPERIENCE. I THINK IN THAT WAY. YEAH. I DEFINITELY FELT LIKE,
MAN, HOW'S IT GONNA GO? IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD AND STUFF. BUT
I THINK FOR ME, AGAIN, I'M BIG ON A FRIEND THAT I HAVE IS
REALLY LIKE A BEST FRIEND AND A COACH AND IN MY LIFE AND WE
JUST TALK A LOT ABOUT WHAT MAYBE WOULD BE CONSIDERED
UNREASONABLE RESPONSIBILITY, WHICH WOULD BE NOT UNREASONABLE
IN A NEGATIVE WAY. BUT I'LL REFRAME IT. IT WOULD BE RADICAL
RESPONSIBILITY, WHICH. >> IS I LOVE.
>> THAT I AM EXPERIENCING LIFE EXACTLY HOW I CHOOSE TO
EXPERIENCE IT. MEANING, IF I CHOOSE TO FEEL LIKE THIS IS A
BAD DAY, IT'S GOING TO GO TERRIBLE. THAT WAS MY CHOICE
AND I DECIDED THAT. BUT IF I ALSO CHOOSE TO SAY IT'S GONNA
BE A GREAT DAY AND THINGS MIGHT NOT GO HOW I WANT TO, BUT I'M
GONNA STILL BRING MY BEST ATTITUDE, AND I AM IN CONTROL
OF HOW I EXPERIENCE MY DAY. AND I THINK CULTURALLY, MAYBE I
WOULD SUBMIT THAT THERE'S BEEN A BEEN TO OUTWARD PROJECTION OF,
WELL, THEY DID THIS TO ME AND THEY DID THAT, AND THEY'RE
DOING THIS. AND SO NOW I CAN'T HAVE A GOOD DAY. AND IT'S LIKE,
MAN, THAT'S A, THAT'S A VERY. SO YOU JUST WAKE UP EVERY DAY
DEPENDING ON OTHER PEOPLE IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY
OR NOT. THAT SEEMS TERRIBLE. LIKE I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO
DO THAT BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE INCONSISTENT AND MY WIFE'S
GONNA FRUSTRATE ME, BUT KIDS ARE GONNA GET ON MY NERVES AND
MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA MAKE A DECISION I DON'T AGREE WITH.
AND SO IF IT'S ON THEM FOR ME TO HAVE A GOOD DAY, I DON'T
THINK I WANT TO DO THAT. AND SO ALL THAT TO SAY, I THINK THE
WORK OF EVEN A BELIEVER IS TAKING ALL OUR VALIDATION
METERS FROM THE OUTSIDE TO THE INSIDE. AND SO FOR ME, I THINK
IT'S EASY EVEN WRITING A BOOK, IT'S MY FIRST BOOK, AND IT'S
THE TEMPTATION WOULD BE TO TAKE SOMETHING THAT'S A BLESSING AND
TURN IT INTO A BURDEN, WHICH WOULD BE LIKE YOU PRAY AND
DREAM YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN. THEN IT
HAPPENS, AND THEN YOU'RE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT IT THAT NOW
YOU'RE TORMENTED BY THE THING YOU PRAYED FOR. AND WE COULD DO
THIS WITH ANYTHING. WE PRAY FOR A JOB. THEN YOU GET THE JOB.
THEN YOU'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT LOSING THE JOB THAT YOU DON'T
ENJOY THE JOB, AND YOU'RE JUST STRESSED THE WHOLE TIME YOU
HAVE THE JOB, AND THEN YOU QUIT AND YOU'RE LIKE, MAN, THAT WAS
A STRESSFUL DREAM GOD EVER GAVE ME. AND SO I JUST THINK FOR ME,
I FOUGHT TO SAY, LIKE, I WROTE A BOOK AND THIS IS A JOY. AND
YES, I'M FRUSTRATED ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS. AND YES, THIS
DIDN'T GO HOW I THOUGHT IT WOULD. AND YES, I WAS
DISAPPOINTED BY SOME THINGS, AND THE FACT THAT I WROTE A
BOOK IS CRAZY, AND THE FACT THAT MY KIDS CAN WALK INTO A
BARNES AND NOBLE AND SAY, LOOK, DAD, THERE WE ARE. ON THE BACK
OF THAT THING IS A WILD THING. SO IF NOBODY EVER BOUGHT THAT
BOOK, IT WOULD BE VERY THE HONEST WORD WOULD BE PRIDEFUL
OF ME TO BE FRUSTRATED THAT GOD GAVE ME ONE OF THE GREATEST
OPPORTUNITIES, WHICH IS TO WRITE A MESSAGE TO ENCOURAGE
PEOPLE THROUGH THE REALITY OF MY LIFE. AND SO, YEAH, I THINK
THAT MENTAL BATTLE WAS ONE FOR SURE, OF JUST GETTING OVER THAT
AND DECIDING, LIKE, MAN, THIS BOOK IS GOING TO BE GREAT
BECAUSE I POURED MY HEART INTO IT AND I KNOW IT HELPED MY WIFE,
AND I THINK IT'LL BE AMAZING ONE DAY THAT THEIR KIDS CAN
READ ABOUT WHERE THEIR DAD WAS WHEN HE WAS 30 YEARS OLD, AND
THAT'LL BE A BLESSING. AND AFTER THAT, LET ME TELL YOU THE
TRUTH, I DO NOT CARE. >> LIKE IF YOU LIKE THE BOOK, I
HOPE YOU LOVE. >> IT BECAUSE I KNOW IT'LL HELP
YOU. AND IF I AM WAITING ON YOU TO LIKE MY BOOK FOR ME TO FEEL
GOOD ABOUT MY BOOK, THAT'S GONNA BE A TERRIBLE WAY TO LIVE.
BECAUSE I CAN'T CONTROL YOU. I CAN'T CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL.
>> YOU CAN'T. I CAN'T CONTROL IF YOU LIKE IT. YOU MAY BE LIKE
BLACK AND. >> YELLOW IS SUCH A WEIRD COLOR.
YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE? BLACK AND YELLOW. AND MY CAR IS BLACK AND
YELLOW RIGHT. >> NOW, SO.
>> I LOVE IT. AND THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.
>> SO YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? I THINK THAT IS SO SUBSTANTIAL.
AND I DON'T THINK THAT SHOULD BE SOMETHING THAT'S EVEN
GLOSSED OVER THE FACT THAT YOU ALLOWED YOURSELF TO GET TO THAT
PLACE MENTALLY BEFORE RELEASING YOUR FIRST BOOK, BECAUSE THERE
ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT ARE PUSHING OUT TONS OF CONTENT AND
THEY'RE STILL LIVING IN BONDAGE TO FEAR OF PEOPLE. YEAH. AND IT
WILL GET YOU DOWN THE ROAD. YEAH. AND I THINK IT'S REALLY
EASY TO SAY, YEAH, IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT GOD THINKS. IT
DOESN'T MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK. IT'S WAY HARDER TO PUT
THAT INTO PRACTICE. AND THAT'S A MENTAL DISCIPLINE RIGHT THERE.
YEAH, I LOVE THAT. YOU SAID ONE OF THE THINGS YOU SAID, I THINK
IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS THAT THE BODY OF CHRIST
NEEDS TO HEAR, WHICH IS RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY. YEAH. AND STOP
BLAMING PEOPLE AND TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. IF
EVERYONE IN THE BODY OF CHRIST WOULD DO THAT, WE'D BE WAY
BETTER PLACE. >> YEAH, IT'S DIFFICULT TO DO.
>> AND IT IS. >> IT'S A THING WHERE IT'S LIKE
IT'S EASIER TO STAY IN A SPOT WHERE EVERYTHING'S HAPPENING AT
YOU, AND RATHER THAN MAYBE FOR YOU. AND SO BUT I THINK IT'S,
IT'S A DAILY DECISION TO SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, LIKE I AM IN
CONTROL OF THIS. >> YOU ARE.
>> YEAH. >> BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN MIND.
>> YEAH. YEAH. GOD HAS EMPOWERED ME TO DO SO. LIKE
IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT. I'M IN CONTROL OF MY OWN, MY OWN POWER.
BUT GOD HAS EMPOWERED ME AND GIVEN ME HIS SPIRIT AND THE
FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT. ALL THESE DIFFERENT THINGS TO TO OPERATE
IN A BETTER WAY. SO SHOULD I. SO CHOOSE. AND I CAN MAKE THAT
CHOICE EMPOWERED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT TO WHETHER THAT'S HAVE A
GOOD DAY OR FOR ME. ONE THING WE DID FOR THE BOOK IS THE DAY
BEFORE MY BOOK WENT ON PREORDER. THAT NIGHT, WE HAD A DINNER
WITH ALL MY CLOSEST FRIENDS, AND MY WIFE HAD ALL OF THEM GO
AROUND AND STAND UP, AND THEY ALL JUST ENCOURAGED ME FOR LIKE
A LONG TIME. EACH ONE OF THEM TALKED FOR A LONG TIME, AND
WHAT THAT DID FOR ME WAS LIKE, BEFORE ANYBODY BUYS OR DOESN'T
BUY THIS BOOK, I'M ALREADY GOOD. LIKE I'M ALREADY I'M NOT
WAITING TILL TOMORROW TO SEE, LIKE, OKAY, LET ME DECIDE IF
THIS IS GOOD OR NOT. LIKE I DECIDED SITTING IN THAT ROOM AT
THAT DINNER, THAT THIS IS A GREAT BOOK AND IT'S HELPED MY
FRIENDS AND THEY'RE PROUD OF ME. AND I PUSHED THROUGH AND I DID
SOMETHING THAT'S HARD WORK, AND I'M VERY PROUD OF THAT. AND
AFTER THAT, I'M GOING TO ENJOY IT. AND SO WHEREVER THAT TAKES
ME. >> IS.
>> I'M GOING TO ENJOY. >> IT AND YOU'RE GOING TO ENJOY
IT. I LIKE THAT YOU SAID THAT BECAUSE YOU SAID, I'M GOING TO
CHOOSE TO HAVE JOY, BECAUSE I THINK SO MANY OF US ARE MIGHT
BE IN DIFFICULT SEASONS, BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL
FOR AND TO FIND JOY IN. AND I ALSO THINK WHAT I LOVE IS THAT
YOU SAID THAT YOU LET ME LET ME GATHER MY BRAIN. YOU SAID THAT
YOU WERE GOING TO YOU TOOK RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY. YOU
WERE GOING TO FIND JOY. OH, BUT THIS IS THE OTHER THING. YOU
WERE BEING OBEDIENT AND STEWARDING WHAT GOD HAD CALLED
YOU TO DO. AND EVEN DOING THIS PODCAST, LIKE WHAT I'VE LEARNED
IS BECAUSE I USED TO, I REMEMBER ONE, I USED TO BE SO
CONCERNED ABOUT NUMBERS. I REMEMBER ONE DAY HE SPOKE TO ME
AND HE SAYS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT NUMBERS. AND IT'S NOT THAT
NUMBERS DON'T MATTER AT ALL. IT'S NOT SAYING THERE'S NO
VALUE, BUT IT'S SAYING THAT I LEARNED THAT IF HE'S PLEASED
WITH SOMETHING, THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS AND I CAN JUST KIND OF
REST. IT'S LIKE, ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER WILL PERFORM. YEAH, HE
WILL MAKE THAT HAPPEN. YEAH. AND I CAN JUST REST IN HIM. AND
THE SAME WITH EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE DOING. IT'S LIKE, BUT AS
LONG AS HE'S PLEASED WITH IT, YOU KNOW, IT JUST IT TAKES THE
PRESSURE OFF OF YOU AND THEN IT GIVES ALL THE GLORY TO GOD. AND
IT'S LIKE I WAS FAITHFUL WITH WHAT HE GAVE ME, AND I STEWARD
IT, AND I'M GOING TO CONTINUE TO STEWARD, AND I'M NOT GOING
TO BE, BECAUSE LIKE YOU SAID, IF YOU ARE BOUND BY WHAT PEOPLE
THINK, THE VERY THING THAT COULD BE SUCH A JOY AND LIFE
GIVING THING, DOING MINISTRY BECOMES A PRISON CELL.
>> ABSOLUTELY IT IS. WELL, I THINK I PREACHED A MESSAGE
CALLED I WON'T FOLD A WHILE BACK IN. THE THESIS OF THE
WHOLE SERMON IS MANY PEOPLE WILL NEVER DO WHAT THEY CAN DO,
COULD DO, OR SHOULD DO BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF LOOKING DUMB.
>> YEAH, THEY FOLD. >> THE FEAR OF LOOKING DUMB.
AND THAT IS THE TRUTH IS, MANY OF US, WE JUST WE'RE WORRIED
ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE WILL THINK. YEAH, WHAT IF I DID THIS? ARE
THEY GOING TO THINK I'M WEIRD? ARE THEY GOING TO THINK IT'S
BAD? ARE THEY GOING TO THINK IT'S THIS? ARE THEY. AND THE
TRUTH IS, THAT IS VERY REAL. I FEEL THAT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE,
DO THEY THINK THAT IS GOOD? IS THAT WEIRD? AND THAT DOES NOT
GET TO MAKE THE FINAL DECISIONS IN MY LIFE. WHAT OTHER PEOPLE
THINK ABOUT ME DOES NOT GET TO DRIVE. WHETHER OR NOT I DO WHAT
GOD ASKED ME TO DO, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A IT'S A VERY SMALL
LIFE, HONESTLY WORRIED ABOUT. AND I THINK SOCIAL MEDIA HAS,
HAS ADDED TO THAT IN A WAY WHERE WE FEEL LIKE. TOTALLY
WHAT'S GOING TO FIT AND IT'S GOT TO LOOK AND IT'S GOT
WHATEVER, AND. >> IT'S GOT TO GO VIRAL. IT'S
GOT TO BE PERFECTLY EDITED. >> AND IT'S LIKE VIRAL IS A
MADE UP THING. INSTAGRAM DIDN'T EXIST 20 YEARS AGO, LIKE PEOPLE
LIVED FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS WITHOUT INSTAGRAM. AND
NOW IT'S LIKE, OH, I WORKED REALLY HARD. IT DIDN'T WORK.
IT'S LIKE PEOPLE WORKED IN FACTORIES FOR 40 YEARS AND THEN
WENT HOME AND WENT TO BE JESUS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST SO TO ME, WHAT THEY GUYS SAY ALL THE
TIME IS LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO LET MY REAL LIFE ARE LIKE ON
SOCIAL MEDIA TO AFFECT MY REAL LIFE R.E.A.L. AND THE TRUTH IS,
SOCIAL MEDIA AS AMAZING AS IT IS, AND AS MUCH AS I LOVE IT
AND STAY CONNECTED WITH FRIENDS AND PREACH THE GOSPEL THROUGH
IT, IT'S ALSO NOT A REAL THING. IT IS PEOPLE'S BEST VERSION OF
THEIR LIFE. >> IT REALLY IS NOT REAL.
>> NO IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT A REAL THING AT ALL. IT'S LIKE WE'VE
GOT TO A POINT WHERE IT'S LIKE, OH, YOU'RE NOT DATING SOMEBODY
UNTIL YOU'VE POSTED ON INSTAGRAM. IT'S LIKE, OKAY,
WELL, THAT'S YOU. POSTING ON INSTAGRAM HAS NO INDICATION OF
WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE IS GOOD OR NOT, BUT YOU CAN KEEP DOING
THAT IF THAT MAKES EVERYBODY FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW. SO IT'S
JUST THERE ARE THINGS THAT LIKE ARE KIND OF CULTURAL RULES THAT
WE'VE MADE UP THAT IT'S. >> LIKE SO TRUE.
>> YOU CAN LITERALLY MAKE UP ANYTHING ON THAT. AND SO AS
LONG AS YOU HOLD IT AND KNOW THAT, USE IT. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING? LIKE B B I LOVE INSTAGRAM AND I POST TONS OF
SILLY STUFF, AND MY PROFILE PICTURE IS ME WITH MY EARS
STICKING OUT AND A HOODIE ON MY. HEAD BECAUSE I WANTED TO REMIND
MYSELF, YES, YOU'RE A USA TODAY BEST SELLER. AND ALSO, THIS
ISN'T REAL. LIKE DON'T. >> TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY.
DON'T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY. RIDICULOUS. LIKE
THIS IS. >> SO ANYWAYS, LIKE YOU HAVE
FOUR KIDS. YOU'RE A DAD AND A HUSBAND.
>> YEAH, AND. >> AFTER THAT, ALL OF THIS IS
JUST EXTRA. >> AND YOU TOOK TEN MONTHS OFF
OF SOCIAL MEDIA. BUT IT WASN'T SOMETHING THAT WAS FOREVER.
BECAUSE PART OF YOUR CALLING DOES OPERATE THROUGH SOCIAL
MEDIA, AND THERE'S SOME PEOPLE THAT WILL NEVER BE ON IT. AND
I'M LIKE, I'M NOT IN THIS POSITION BECAUSE WHAT I'M DOING
IS THROUGH SOCIAL. YEAH. HOW DID YOU WHEN YOU CAME BACK, HOW
DID YOU FIND THAT BALANCE? I THINK YOU SAID PART OF IT THERE
BASICALLY MADE A CONNECTION. THIS IS NOT REAL.
>> YEAH. >> I THINK MAN, I DO. I HAVE A
A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOCIAL.
>> MEDIA IN THE SENSE. >> THAT AS LONG AS LIKE I WISH,
I DON'T KNOW, I JUST DON'T TAKE IT AS, AS SERIOUSLY AS THERE'S
A REAL THING. LET ME TALK ABOUT THAT. FIRST, THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF THE PEOPLE THAT ARE ABLE TO SEE GOD THROUGH THAT AS YOU
SHOW THAT THING. AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE IMPACTED ME
THROUGH SEEING THINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. SO THERE'S A SIGNIFICANT
VALUE IN IT. AND I THINK IT'S JUST IT'S A VERY SLIPPERY SLOPE.
SO LIKE FOR ME, A PART OF MY RHYTHM IS LIKE BEING OFF SOCIAL
MEDIA. SO LIKE ONCE A WEEK I'M OFF FOR A WHOLE DAY, TWO DAYS,
THREE DAYS. >> LIKE IT'S JUST NICE.
>> I JUST DON'T NEED, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE, JUST
FAMILY FRIDAYS IS THE DAY WE DO. AND IT'S LIKE, YEAH, WE'RE JUST
OFF. WHAT DO WE. WE DON'T NEED TO TAKE PICTURES, POST THEM THE
NEXT DAY LIKE IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
>> SO I. >> NEED TO DO THAT.
>> YEAH. >> JUST DECIDING A DAY WHERE
IT'S LIKE I GO 24 HOURS WHERE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN
THE WORLD. >> WHAT ELSE IS ON FAMILY
FRIDAYS? >> OH, FAMILY FRIDAYS IS YOU
WAKE UP, YOU PHONES GO UP. ME AND MY WIFE ACTUALLY HAVE THESE
LITTLE. IT'S CALLED A LIGHT PHONE. IT'S LIKE A LITTLE. IT'S
JUST. IT'S A PHONE. ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T HAVE INTERNET. IT
JUST CALLS. >> AND TEXTS. OH, SO YOU HAVE
ONE OF THOSE? YEAH. >> I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
>> YEAH. >> SO WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE. WE
USE THAT ON FRIDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY. AND WE REALLY START
THURSDAY THURSDAYS DATE NIGHT. SO WE DO THURSDAY, FRIDAY.
>> AND SATURDAY. OH, THIS IS SO SWEET.
>> AND SO BUT YEAH. AND THEN IT'S JUST WHATEVER THE KIDS
WANT TO DO. SO WE USUALLY WE GO GET COFFEE IN THE MORNING, GET
LIKE TO A BAKERY, LITTLE CAFE WE LOVE. AND THEN WE'RE JUST
HANGING OUT AROUND THE HOUSE. WE'LL GO GET SNOW CONES. WE'LL
DO AN ACTIVITY TOGETHER. BUT IT'S JUST ALL FAMILY DAY. AND
WE'RE PRETTY ROUTINE LIKE THAT. THAT'S ONE THING I LEARNED OUT
OF THAT SEASON OF MY LIFE THAT WAS REALLY TOUGH IS LIKE,
CONSISTENT DISCIPLINES ARE REALLY HELPFUL FOR ME. AND SO
YEAH, LIKE WE DO DATE NIGHT. IT WAS ON TUESDAYS, NOW IT'S ON
THURSDAYS. BUT LIKE WE'VE BEEN DOING DATE NIGHT FOR THE LAST
SIX YEARS. HAVEN'T MISSED THE NIGHT.
>> WE HAVE A ROUTINE. YEAH. >> LIKE WE DO THAT WE HAVE A
FAMILY DAY. SO CERTAIN THINGS LIKE THAT THAT ARE REALLY
HEALTHY. SO YEAH BUT THAT'S FAMILY. FRIDAY IS A GREAT,
GREAT DAY. >> WHAT ARE SOME OTHER THINGS
THAT HELPED YOU FIND A BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE AND HELP YOU
MAINTAIN A POSTURE OF PEACE? >> YEAH.
>> SO I THINK MY COUNSELOR TOLD ME IN 2020, HE SAID, YOU NEED
TO HAVE SOMETHING EVERY DAY, EVERY WEEK, EVERY MONTH,
EVERY YEAR THAT YOU LOOK FORWARD TO THAT IS JUST FOR
YOU AND DOES NOT PRODUCE AN OUTCOME FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
MEANING LIKE, I REALLY LOVE WRITING SERMONS, BUT
SERMONS ARE ULTIMATELY FOR OTHER PEOPLE. SO I THAT
CAN'T BE MY THING. I, YOU KNOW, I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH
MY WIFE, BUT ULTIMATELY THAT IS ALSO IT SERVES HER. AND SO
THAT'S FOR HER. SO YOU NEED SOMETHING THAT'S JUST FOR YOU
TO FILL YOUR CUP UP. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF
IS WHAT THE SCRIPTURE SAYS. SO THERE'S A PICTURE THERE THAT IS
LIKE, OH, SOME OF YOUR CAPACITY TO LOVE PEOPLE IS OUT OF YOUR
OWN ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE OF YOU.
SO FOR ME, EVERY DAY IT IS I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND WE
HAVE A LITTLE ESPRESSO MACHINE IN OUR HOUSE. I WAKE UP, MAKE
MYSELF AN OAT MILK CAPPUCCINO, AND I SIT DOWN AND I JUST SIT
THERE AND I'M QUIET AND I DON'T DO NOTHING. I DON'T SAY NOTHING.
AND IT'S JUST MY LITTLE COUPLE OF MINUTES JUST TO.
>> IS THIS BEFORE ALL YOUR KIDS ARE AWAKE?
>> BEFORE THEY'RE AWAKE, OR IF THEY ARE AWAKE, I'M LIKE, HEY,
DAD'S GONNA STAND OUTSIDE, Y'ALL STAY INSIDE. OR IF
THEY'RE OUTSIDE, I'M GOING. BUT IT'S JUST LIKE, I GET A MINUTE
TO MYSELF AND I'M JUST SITTING THERE. I'M NOT. AND SOMETIMES
IT'S PRAYERFUL AND SOMETIMES I'M JUST SITTING THERE LIKE,
MAN, THIS IS A GREAT COFFEE. I NAILED THIS THING TODAY, YOU
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? IT'S JUST. BUT IT'S JUST A MOMENT.
>> THAT'S JUST LIKE THAT MOMENT. YEAH.
>> BEING MINDFUL OF. >> JUST LIKE MAN. GRATEFUL.
YEAH. >> ONE THING THAT I DO IS IT'S
CALLED I'VE CHANGED IT OVER THE YEARS. IT STARTED AS GPS. NOW
IT'S GAPS. BUT EVERY SINGLE DAY MOSTLY NOW I WON'T SAY EVERY
SINGLE DAY BECAUSE I WANT TO BE TRUTHFUL. I DID DO IT EVERY
SINGLE DAY FOR 460 DAYS. >> IN A ROW.
>> BUT NOW I'M PROBABLY FOUR TIMES A WEEK. I'LL SAY IT WOULD
BE FAIR TO SAY, BUT I DO GAPS. SO GRATITUDE, ATTITUDE, PRAYER,
SCRIPTURE. IT'S A LITTLE JOURNAL I HAVE AND I JUST WRITE
GRATITUDE. WHAT IS A UNIQUE GRATITUDE? SO UNIQUE GRATITUDE
MEANS LIKE, I CAN'T SAY I'M GRATEFUL FOR MY WIFE. I HAVE TO
SAY I'M GRATEFUL FOR A WIFE WHO MAKES ME LAUGH BECAUSE SHE'S
KIND OF QUIRKY. LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE IT'S
UNIQUE GRATITUDE. SO GRATITUDE THEN ATTITUDE IS SOMETHING.
IT'S ME DECIDING MY MINDSET. SO MINE EVERY SINGLE DAY. A
CONFESSION THAT I SAY IS I AM HAPPY, CLEAR, CAPABLE, GENIUS.
THAT'S WHO I AM. LIKE GOD, MAYBE I'M HAPPY. MY SPIRIT IS A
HAPPY SPIRIT. I AM CLEAR MINDED, I DO NOT. I'M NOT CONTROLLED BY
MY THOUGHTS. LIKE GOD IS GIVING ME THE MIND OF CHRIST. I AM
CALCULATED, MEANING I'M NOT DRIVEN BY MY EMOTIONS. I CAN
MAKE A CALCULATED DECISION THAT IS INSPIRED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT.
AND THEN I'M A GENIUS. GOD'S INSPIRATION LIVES ON THE INSIDE
OF ME, AND CREATIVELY, WHEN I SUBMIT MYSELF TO HIM, I CAN
HELP PEOPLE IN SIGNIFICANT WAYS. LET HIM SEE HIM THROUGH ART AND
BEAUTY AND WRITING AND WHATEVER. SO THAT'S MY ATTITUDE DAILY. SO
I WRITE THAT DOWN. JUST THOSE WORDS HAPPY, CLEAR, CALCULATED,
GENIUS. AND SOMETIMES IT'LL CHANGE. IT'S SOMETIMES IT'S
CALM, SOMETIMES. >> IT'S HOW DID YOU COME UP
WITH THOSE. >> MY FRIEND. YEAH. SO MY
FRIEND, HE ONE DAY IT'S KIND OF ONE OF THE THINGS HE DOES IS
HELP YOU JUST FIND THOSE THINGS. AND SO HE WAS TALKING ABOUT
HE'S LIKE, WHAT'S YOUR WHAT'S YOUR WHAT THOUGHTS GO THROUGH
YOUR HEAD A LOT YOUR DAY. AND I WAS LIKE I DON'T KNOW. AND
PRETTY MUCH WE DUG TO OH THERE'S A LOT OF NEGATIVE
THOUGHTS THAT GO THROUGH MY HEAD. HE'S LIKE, SO YOU NEED
SOME POSITIVE ONES. SO WHAT WOULD THE QUESTION HE ASKED ME
IS WHAT WOULD THE WE STARTED THROWING OUT SOME OF THESE
WORDS. SO AN EXAMPLE WOULD BE IS WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU
FELT LIKE YOU WERE CLEAR AND CALCULATED? WHAT DECISION WOULD
YOU MAKE WHEN YOU'RE RAISING YOUR KIDS? WHAT WOULD THE CLEAR
AND CALCULATED CHARLES DO TO A SON WHO IS SUPER EMOTIONAL
ABOUT SOMETHING HIS SISTER TOOK? WELL, A CLEAR, CALCULATED
CHARLES WOULD PROBABLY SLOW DOWN. I'D PROBABLY PULL HIM
AWAY FROM HIS SISTERS. I'D PROBABLY ASK HIM WHAT'S REALLY
GOING ON. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE AN UNCLEAR, NOT
CALCULATED CHARLES WOULD JUST YELL REALLY LOUD AND SAY, BE
QUIET. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MAKES SENSE
IN THE MOMENT. AND SOMETIMES I STILL DO THAT. BUT IT'S A WAY
TO GET YOURSELF INTO A CERTAIN MINDSET OF LIKE, OH, OKAY, WELL,
IF YOU BELIEVED WHEN YOU AND THIS IS SOME PEOPLE EVEN I'VE
TALKED ABOUT, PEOPLE ARE LIKE, THAT'S CRAZY. YOU CAN'T SAY
THAT. BUT WHICH IS FUNNY, BUT IT'S LIKE, HOW WOULD YOU WRITE
THAT BOOK IF YOU BELIEVED THE HOLY SPIRIT HAS PUT GENIUS ON
THE INSIDE OF ME? HOW HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? WHAT MAKES
ME FEEL LIKE. >> THAT'S TRUE.
>> THOUGH I COULD PROBABLY WRITE REALLY WELL.
>> THAT'S NOT CRAZY. >> YEAH, IT'S LIKE.
>> THAT'S BIBLICAL. >> I KNOW, RIGHT? BUT IT'S LIKE.
BUT PEOPLE. >> THE TRUE LIMITED.
>> ARE SO LIMITED. AND WE HAVE MASQUERADED INSECURITY AS
HUMILITY IN THE CHURCH. >> YES.
>> AND SO TO EVEN DARE TO SAY GOD CHOSE ME, MY CONFIDENCE IS
UNTOUCHABLE AND HIS SPIRIT ON THE INSIDE OF ME IS UNSTOPPABLE.
PEOPLE ARE LIKE, WHOA, OKAY, YOU KNOW? BUT IT'S LIKE, I
DON'T KNOW WHY WE DO THAT, BUT OKAY, BUT I THINK SO. THAT'S MY
THING. SO AGAIN, GRATITUDE ATTITUDE, THOSE DAILY
CONFESSIONS PRAYER. AND IT'S LIKE 2 OR 3 WORDS GOD HELP ME
TODAY, GOD OF PEACE, I NEED YOU, GOOD SHEPHERD. THANK YOU.
THAT'S ALL IT IS. IT'S JUST. AND THE SCRIPTURE AND IT'S NINE
TIMES OUT OF TEN PSALM, IT'S JUST A SHORT LITTLE. AND SO BUT
I DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY, JUST LIKE A SO THE SILENCE, THE
SCRIPTURES AND THEN RIDING MY BIKE IS A BIG PART OF THAT.
THAT'S PART OF THAT IS PHYSICAL EXERCISE. BUT AGAIN THAT'S
ANOTHER THING LIKE ME. >> SO GOOD.
>> IT JUST OUT THERE, YOU'VE NEVER LIVED UNTIL YOU'VE WOKEN
UP, RIDDEN YOUR BIKE INTO A SUNSET WHEN IT'S KIND OF COLD.
SO IT'S JUST IT'S SOMETHING I LOVE. I CAN WORK REALLY HARD AT
IT AND IT DOESN'T. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? IT IT DOESN'T
IMPACT. IT'S NOT I THINK A LOT OF IN MINISTRY, IT CAN BE
TEMPTING TO FIND EVERYTHING YOU DO SERVES SOMEBODY ELSE. SO AT
SOME POINT YOU'RE GIVING OUT AN EMPTY CUP. AND SO FOR ME, THOSE
LITERALLY JUST THOSE THREE THINGS REALLY FILL MY CUP. AND
I COULD DO THOSE EVERY SINGLE DAY AND THEY'RE WITHIN MY
CONTROL. YOU KNOW, THAT'S ANOTHER THING PEOPLE CREATE.
LIKE, MAN, I WOULD I WOULD BE HEALTHY IF I COULD JUST TAKE AN
EIGHT WEEK VACATION. IT'S LIKE, WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. LIKE,
YEAH, LIKE, YEAH. >> IT'D BE AWESOME IF I COULD
JUST GO SIT ON A COUNTRYSIDE IN EUROPE SOMEWHERE, BUT LIKE, I
CAN'T MAKE A CAPPUCCINO EVERY DAY AND SIT QUIET.
>> FOR. >> SEVEN MINUTES. LIKE I'M
SAYING, I CAN. >> WRITE DOWN WHAT I'M GRATEFUL
FOR. AND IF. >> I CAN FIND.
>> THINGS THAT ARE PRACTICAL TO BRING ME PEACE, THAT'S WHAT'S
GOING TO SERVE YOU WAY BETTER THAN SOME DREAM OF LIKE, MAN,
IF I COULD GO SIT ON AN ISLAND, I'D TELL YOU I'D BE PEACEFUL.
IT'S LIKE, YEAH, WE ALL WOULD. BUT YEAH, WE GOTTA FIND
PRACTICAL STUFF THAT WE COULD DO.
>> ESPECIALLY IN THE SEASON OF LIFE YOU'RE IN WITH, LIKE,
LITTLE KIDS AND STUFF. LIKE, I'M IN THE SAME SEASON, BUT I
LOVE THAT. AND THAT BUILDS UP OVER TIME.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> AND WHAT I LOVE, THOUGH, IN
THOSE IDENTIFIERS THAT YOU WERE SAYING IS THEY WERE ALL BASED
IN THE WORD AND WHO GOD IS, AND IT'S SAYING THAT GOD IS
POWERFUL IN YOU AND IT DOESN'T GLORIFY GOD TO BEAT YOURSELF UP.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. >> YOU'RE JUST THAT'S NOT THE
WAY HE SEES YOU. >> WELL, EVEN IT'S BEEN SO
FUNNY TALKING ABOUT THIS BOOK AND SHARING WITH PEOPLE,
BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON, THERE'S TIMES WHERE IT FEELS
LIKE, WELL, YOU KNOW, AND THIS HAPPENS ACROSS MULTIPLE TOPICS
IN CHRISTIANITY, BUT IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T TELL PEOPLE
GOD LOVES THEM TOO MUCH BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL JUST. AND I ALWAYS
WANT TO BE LIKE, THEN THEY'LL WHAT? LIKE I'M SAYING, LIKE,
KNOW THAT THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE LOVES THEM OR WE DON'T
WANT PEOPLE TO CONFIDENT. IT'S LIKE, WHY WOULD WE NOT WANT
PEOPLE? WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR KIDS? I DON'T WANT
MY KIDS TO GET TOO CONFIDENT NOW. WELL, IT'S LIKE I DON'T
WANT TO BE PRIDEFUL, BUT LIKE, DO I WANT THEM TO KNOW WHO THEY
ARE AND KNOW THAT THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE CREATED THEM AND
SEES THEM AND DIED FOR THEM? YES, AND I DO. I WANT THEM TO,
BECAUSE IF THEY DON'T KNOW THAT, THEY THEN SPEND THEIR LIFE
TRYING TO FIND IT IN WHO THEY KNOW, HOW MUCH MONEY THEY MAKE,
WHO THEY CAN SLEEP WITH. AND, YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO
TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE SOME WAY. SO I WOULD RATHER
TELL YOU AND GIVE YOU A REAL FOUNDATION. AND SO I THINK
THAT'S MY THING IS LIKE, I WANT TO BE SOMEONE RAISE A FAMILY
THAT IS CONFIDENT IN LIKE, NO. AND THE TRUTH IS, THIS WHOLE
MESSAGE IS ANCHORED IN THE BIBLICAL STORY OF PAUL'S LIFE.
HE LITERALLY GETS SAVED. EVERYBODY DON'T BELIEVE HIM.
AND HE'S LIKE, YEAH, MAN, I DON'T, I DON'T CARE. LIKE I'M
I'M DOING WHAT GOD TOLD ME TO DO. AND HE WROTE TWO THIRDS OF
THE BIBLE, THAT SAME GUY. SO HE'S LIKE.
>> HE HAD SUCH A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING.
>> AND IF HE HAD ANY REASON TO BE, THAT'S ANOTHER THING PEOPLE
GET SIT IN SHAME OF LIKE, WELL, I'VE DONE TOO MANY BAD THINGS.
IT'S LIKE, WELL, HE WAS KILLING PEOPLE AND BELIEVED THAT GRACE
WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO TURN HIS LIFE AROUND AND FOR HIM TO NOW
PREACH THE MESSAGE THAT HE TRIED TO TEAR DOWN. AND IN THE
SAME WAY, I THINK A LOT OF US WE TRY TO TALK GOD OUT OF HIS
CHOICE BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE WE'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR WE
HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH. AND IT'S JUST LIKE, MAN, WHY WOULD YOU
FIGHT WHAT HE'S ALREADY DECIDED? >> EXACTLY.
>> BECAUSE WHAT YOU GONNA DO IS, IS YOU GO GET TO WHERE HE WANTS
YOU TO BE, AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO PUNISH YOURSELF
BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD BE THERE. AND IT'S LIKE,
WELL, THAT'S JUST WASTE OF EVERYBODY'S TIME, YOU KNOW?
IT'S LIKE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE THERE IF HE GOT YOU THERE. JUST
ENJOY IT. AND IF YOU GET IT WRONG, GUESS WHAT? WHO CARES?
LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, I DON'T KNOW. SO YEAH.
>> WELL, PRIDE ISN'T ROOTED. PRIDE ISN'T ROOTED IN BEING
CONFIDENT. >> YEAH.
>> PRIDE IS BEING ROOTED. PRIDE IS ROOTED IN SELF-SUFFICIENCY.
SO IF YOUR CONFIDENCE IS IN OH ME, YES, THAT'S PRIDE. BUT IF
YOUR CONFIDENCE IS IN GOD, THAT'S ACCURATE.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> AND YOU NEED TO BE CONFIDENT.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> TO DO THIS. I MEAN, PROBABLY
TO PREACH AND DO ALL THE THINGS YOU'RE DOING. YOU HAVE TO BE
CONFIDENT. IT'S JUST YOUR CONFIDENCE IS IN HIM AND WHO
HE'S MADE YOU TO BE. >> ABSOLUTELY.
>> AND I INTERVIEWED HE'S A PROPHET. HIS NAME IS DALE MOSS.
HE WRITES BOOKS AS WELL. AND WE HAD A WHOLE AND HE HELPED KIND
OF BREAK SOME OF THIS DOWN BECAUSE I WAS I WAS RAISED IN
SOME OF THAT MENTALITY AND IT'S WELL INTENDED, BUT IT'S VERY
DAMAGING. YES. AND HE WAS LIKE, YOU'RE A GIFT. AND I'M LIKE,
WELL, IS THAT WRONG FOR ME TO SEE THAT I'M A GIFT THAT GOD
HAS GIVEN? HE GOES, NO, BECAUSE GIFTS ARE GIVEN TO PEOPLE AND
THEY HELP PEOPLE. AND HE'S LIKE, YOU ARE A GIFT, AND YOU
OPERATING YOUR GIFT AS A GIFT, AND IT JUST BREAKS YOU FREE.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> BUT YOU HAVE THIS CONFIDENCE
IN THE SECURITY AND THIS BOLDNESS THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO EVER CONJURE UP OUT OF YOURSELF.
>> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. WELL, IT'S LIKE ALL THE STUFF WE READ
ABOUT IN THE SCRIPTURE DOES NOT HAPPEN WITHOUT A SUPERNATURAL
CONFIDENCE. >> TOTALLY.
>> LIKE YOU DON'T STAND UP IN FRONT OF 3000 PEOPLE AND PREACH
LIKE, HEY, YOU KNOW, CHRIST IS REAL. THE JEWISH LEADERS WERE
WRONG. HE'S ALIVE. UNLESS YOU'RE CONFIDENT, LIKE YOU
DON'T, YOU'RE NOT IN A JAIL CELL SINGING SONGS, AND THEN
GOD BREAKS YOU FREE, AND THEN YOU STOP TO TALK TO THE JAILER
WHO, LIKE, COULD KILL YOU UNLESS YOU'RE CONFIDENT, YOU
KNOW, LIKE, SO THERE'S THERE IS A. NOW, I DO THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING TO BE SAID OF AGAIN, TO YOUR POINT, UNDERSTANDING
THAT IN THAT CONFIDENCE IS A THE THE BALANCE I TALK ABOUT IN
THE BOOK IS CONFIDENCE AND CONTENTMENT. SO CONFIDENCE
UNTAMED CAN LEAD TO A LACK OF CONTENTMENT BECAUSE YOU'RE SO
CONFIDENT THAT YOU, LIKE, WANT TO DO EVERYTHING THAT YOU'RE
LIKE, WELL, I'M GONNA DO THIS AND DO THAT, AND I CAN DO THAT,
AND YOU DON'T REALLY ENJOY WHERE YOU ARE. THE BEAUTY IS IN,
I AM EXTREMELY CONFIDENT AND I'M SUPER CONTENT. SO I'M SO
CONFIDENT THAT, LIKE, MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT. MY BOOK'S
GONNA DO WELL, AND I HOPE PEOPLE LIKE IT. AND I'M ALSO
VERY CONTENT THAT, LIKE, IF NOBODY BUYS IT AND IT JUST
HELPS MY FRIENDS AND MY WIFE, I'M COOL. LIKE, AND THAT
BALANCE IS VERY DANGEROUS BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPER SECURE AND
ABLE TO DO WHAT GOD'S ASKED YOU TO DO. BUT YOU'RE ALSO SECURE
OUT, IT'S LIKE, OKAY, I'M OKAY. ENOUGH THAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK
>> AND YEAH. >> THIS WAS ALL A BLESSING.
>> YOU'RE SECURE AND YOU'RE SUBMITTED. YES. BECAUSE YOU'RE,
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WITH THAT CONFIDENCE YOU COULD DO
ANYTHING, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT HE TELLS YOU TO DO, NO
MORE, NO LESS. AND THAT FAMOUS VERSE THAT EVERYONE QUOTES IN
PHILIPPIANS 413, I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST. PAUL'S
TALKING ABOUT CONTENTMENT. >> YES, ABSOLUTELY. YEAH.
>> AND SO IT'S LIKE WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST
BECAUSE WE ARE CONTENT IN HIM. PAUL'S LIKE, WHETHER I'M FREE
OR I'M IN PRISON, ABSOLUTELY. I'M DOING GREAT OR I'M BEATING
UP, YOU KNOW, BUT HE WAS TOTALLY SOMEONE WHO HAD SUCH A
CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WHO GOD IS AND WHO HE IS, AND HE WAS
ABLE TO DO WHAT HE DID UNASHAMEDLY. AND THERE ARE
TIMES I DON'T LIKE WHEN PEOPLE DO THIS BECAUSE I LOVE PAUL AND
I STUDIED HIM IN BIBLE SCHOOL. OKAY. YEAH. SO A WHOLE CLASS
ABOUT HIM. AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE LIKE, OH, PAUL'S KIND OF, YOU
KNOW, COCKY AND ALL THAT. AND I WAS LIKE, NO, PAUL JUST HAD A
VERY STRONG CONVICTION BECAUSE ACTUALLY WHAT HE WAS DOING WAS
WILD BECAUSE OF HIS BACKGROUND IN JUDAISM. FOR HIM TO BE
PREACHING TO THE GENTILES IS WILD. HE HAD TO HAVE A CLEAR
CONVICTION OF WHO HE IS AND WHAT GOD HAD CALLED HIM TO DO.
YOUR LEVEL OF CONFIDENCE TO ME, >> ABSOLUTELY. WELL, I THINK
AND MAYBE THIS I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER SAID IT THIS WAY, BUT
I DO THINK THERE'S A LEVEL OF CONNECTION BETWEEN YOUR
CONFIDENCE AND YOUR CALLING. MEANING LIKE I FOR WHAT I
BELIEVE GOD ASKED ME TO DO. AND I BELIEVE THIS ABOUT EVERYBODY.
IT'S JUST YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT, NOT ME. BUT IT'S TRUE. IT'S
LIKE I BELIEVE WHAT HE ASKED ME TO DO. AND WHAT YOU JUST SAID
IS I HAVE TO BE CONFIDENT. LIKE I HAVE TO BE CONFIDENT BECAUSE
I AM RAISING KIDS THAT NEED TO SEE WHAT IT IS TO BE CONTENT IN
WHO GOD CALLED YOU TO BE. AND SO I HAVE TO FIGHT THESE
BATTLES, AND I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, BECAUSE I NEED TO
RAISE KIDS WHO KNOW WHO THEY ARE. AND IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE
YOU'RE THAT IMPORTANT, THEN YOU DON'T NEED TO BE CONFIDENT. IF
YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE THAT SPECIAL, WHY WOULD GOD DIE FOR
YOU? IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW, LIKE IF YOU HAVE SUCH A POOR
VIEW OF YOURSELF, THEN YOU DON'T REALIZE, LIKE THE VALUE
INTO YOUR POINT, LIKE THE GIFT THAT YOU ARE. AND I THINK 100%
WE RECOGNIZE, LIKE THE WHAT IN SOME CIRCLES THEY WOULD CALL
HUMAN DEPRAVITY OF LIKE HOW JUST BROKEN AND IMPERFECT WE
ARE. AND THE BIBLE SAYS, LIKE GOD IS PUTTING THIS TREASURE IN
EARTHEN VESSELS. AND THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF THE GOSPEL IS
LIKE, YES, THIS LIGHT HE HAS PUT INSIDE THE CRACKED POTTERY
SO THAT WHEN IT SHINES, IT SHINES THE BRIGHTEST THROUGH
THE PEOPLE WHO ARE THE MOST BROKEN. HE USED THE FOOLISH
THINGS TO CONFOUND THE WISE. SO IT'S LIKE THIS IS THE WHOLE
MESSAGE IS YES, I'M BROKEN, YES, I'M WHATEVER. AND I THINK I
PREACH A LITTLE BIT AGO ABOUT IMPOSTER SYNDROME. AND IMPOSTER
SYNDROME IS. >> WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME?
BECAUSE I HEAR THAT TERM ALL THE TIME. I'M LIKE, WHAT DOES
THAT MEAN? >> IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS I DON'T
BELONG HERE. I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING? IT'S JUST I FEEL LIKE AN IMPOSTER. I FEEL LIKE I
SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS ROOM. YEAH, I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AND THE
FUNNY THING I SAID IS IT WAS MY OPENING STATEMENT TO MY SERMON.
I WAS LIKE, IF YOU EVER STRUGGLE WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME,
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT, IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS TRUE. YOU SHOULDN'T
BE HERE AND YOU DON'T DESERVE IT. AND YOU'RE RIGHT. AND THE
GRACE OF GOD SAYS, I KNOW YOU DON'T DESERVE IT, AND WE'LL
GIVE IT TO YOU ANYWAYS. AND I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT
TAKES. AND I'LL BE YOUR STRENGTH WHEN YOU'RE WEAK. AND
SO THERE'S A PART OF THAT. THAT IS THE ONLY REASON THAT HAS SO
MUCH POWER IS BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGHT AND SAY, NO, I
DO DESERVE IT, AND I AM BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. AND THE TRUTH IS,
I'M FULLY AWARE, LIKE, OH NO, I DON'T DESERVE TO BE SITTING
HERE AND WRITTEN A BOOK. AND I'M SO I HAVE SO MUCH
CONVICTION ABOUT THE GRACE OF GOD THAT I UNDERSTAND HOW HE
WORKS. AND HE DEFINITELY CHOSE ME IN A POINT IN MY STEPS AND
BROUGHT ME HERE. AND SO, NO, I DON'T DESERVE IT. BUT GOD CHOSE
ME. AND NO, I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. BUT GOD CHOSE ME. AND NO, I
HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE AND JUST BEEN HERE TODAY DOING A
BUNCH OF SHOWS, NEVER DONE ANY OF THAT BEFORE. AND GOD BROUGHT
ME HERE AND I DID IT. >> SO YEAH.
>> LIKE, AT WHAT POINT ARE WE JUST GONNA EMBRACE IF GOD
BROUGHT YOU HERE? EMBRACE IT. OR YOU CAN SIT THERE THE WHOLE
TIME AND BE LIKE, I CAN'T, WHAT DO THEY THINK? AND BLAH, BLAH,
BLAH, BLAH. AND SO, YEAH, LITERALLY TODAY THERE WAS A
FUNNY STORY. WE'RE JUST BEING HONEST. THERE WAS A MOMENT I
WAS PREACHING AND I REALIZED, I'M NOT LOOKING AT THE CAMERA.
I LOOKED AT THE LITTLE HOLE. THAT'S NOT THE CAMERA. THAT'S
THAT'S A DIFFERENT THING. AND I. >> WAS LIKE, IT'S HAPPENED TO
ME SO MANY TIMES. >> JESUS, MAN, THAT'S GONNA.
>> LOOK BAD ON THE THING AND WE'RE LIVE. BUT THEN I WAS LIKE,
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ON TV RIGHT NOW, SO YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S
FOCUS ON THE BIG PICTURE. SO. >> SO MANY THINGS. THAT'S WHY I
DON'T LIKE LIVE TV. IT'S LIKE, IT'S HONESTLY KIND OF NERVE
WRACKING. BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE, LIKE.
>> ALL THESE DADGUM TELEPROMPTERS. WHERE'S THE. I
SEE THE EYE OF A CAMERA. I KNOW. >> SO ANYWAY, IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.
>> YEAH, BUT I SAY THAT TO SAY IT'S JUST IT'S. THE TRUTH.
>> IS I SPENT SO MUCH OF MY LIFE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT OTHER
PEOPLE WOULD THINK, WORRIED ABOUT HOW IT WOULD GO, THAT I
JUST DIDN'T LIVE WHERE I WAS AND ENJOY WHO I WAS AND WHO I
WAS WITH. AND THAT'S REALLY THE HOPE OF THIS BOOK, IS THAT YOU
WOULD TAKE ALL THIS ATTENTION THAT WE SPEND ON OTHER PEOPLE,
WHAT THEY'RE DOING, HOW THEY'RE DOING. AND YOU WOULD TURN THAT
INTO, WHAT IS GOD GIVEN ME? WHAT IS HE SHOWN ME? WHAT IS
THE FAMILY HE'S GIVEN ME, AND HOW CAN I USE THAT TO SHARE HIS
LOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE? >> THAT'S SO GOOD. WELL, I
THINK THAT YOU JUST SUMMED UP AND WRAPPED IT UP PERFECTLY
RIGHT THERE. WELL, I WANT TO THANK YOU SO MUCH, CHARLES, FOR
BEING HERE AND FOR WRITING. FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR
THIS AMAZING CONVERSATION AND FOR THIS AMAZING BOOK. HOW CAN
PEOPLE GET IT? >> ABSOLUTELY. YOU CAN GET IT
ANYWHERE. BOOKS ARE SOLD. >> SO AMAZON.
>> YEAH AMAZON EASY GET YOU THERE PRIME. BUT CHARLES
METCALFE COMM HAS EVERYTHING ON THERE. AND YEAH SUPER GRATEFUL.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME TODAY. >> AWESOME. WELL THANK YOU
CHARLES. AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO THE REBECCA WEISS
PODCAST. [MUSIC]