WEBVTT

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<v ->This program is made
possible by the giving</v>

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of the God called partners
of Renner Ministries.

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<v ->Hello, friend. My name is Denise Renner</v>

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and I have the privilege
of doing this program

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with my husband in his studio.

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We are doing these programs

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and they're called - How
to Have a Happy Marriage.

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Now in a few days, we're going

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to be married 44 years,

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and there's a lot to learn from

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I believe, the wisdom that God has given us

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through our marriage, in the
mistakes that we've made,

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in the way we've sought
God in our marriage

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and the things that He's taught us.

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And today we're gonna talk about - How

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to Keep Strife Out of your Marriage.

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Oh, that is so important

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because a lot of people in their marriage

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because they don't know how
to shut the door to the devil

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and keep the strife out.

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Listen to this verse in James 3,

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and it's verse 16, and it says - Where envy

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and self-seeking exists, confusion

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and every evil thing are there.

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If all we're seeking is for our ourself,

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say wife, you're just saying,
oh, well you are there

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to make me happy.

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And the husband says, oh,
you're there to make me happy.

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Well, if that's our attitude,

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that's self-seeking and it has envy in it,

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and it's going to bring strife

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and it's gonna bring confusion,

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and it's going to bring every evil work.

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And in this program today,
there's so much teaching on

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how we can keep strife out

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and keep our heart tender
towards one another.

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God has called us

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to have blessing in our marriage.

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I'm so glad that you're with me today,

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and I know that God is gonna
touch your heart in some

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special way,

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and I'm believing that
God's really gonna minister

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to some marriages that
are even in trouble.

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And you're gonna listen to this

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and you're gonna say, I need
to reconsider my decision.

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Oh, friend, your marriage
is very important

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and very precious.

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So stay with me and I'm coming right back

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and I'm gonna be with
my husband in his studio

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and we're gonna talk about how

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to keep strife outta your marriage.

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<v ->It's time for big miracles
and changes in your life.</v>

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Join Denise Renner

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and dive into the study of God's word which has great power

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to strengthen faith, inspire change, heal physically

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and spiritually,

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and most importantly, help you learn about the power

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of Christ Jesus living in you.

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It's time with Denise Renner.

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<v ->Welcome to today's program.</v>

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My name is Rick Renner

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and I've been sitting here just waiting for this moment

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so me

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and Denise can both share

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with you something very important we've learned

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about marriage.

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<v ->And I'm so glad to be here</v>

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and talk about how you
can have a happy marriage.

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<v ->Denise, you look so pretty.</v>
<v ->Thanks Rick.</v>

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<v ->Thank you for being with me.</v>
<v ->Thank you.</v>

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<v ->This week Denise and I are
celebrating our 44th wedding</v>

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anniversary on Friday. 44 years.

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<v ->44 years.</v>
<v ->Denise.</v>

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<v ->Yes, Rick.</v>

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<v ->Hey, we're gonna live a long time.</v>

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We're gonna, we're gonna
make it to a very golden age.

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<v ->Golden</v>
<v ->Amen.</v>

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But we want you to order the whole series,

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which is called How to
Have a Happy Marriage.

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And you have to have a
happy marriage to be able

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to talk about this.

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And by the way, along the the
road of life, there's lots

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of bumps, but you can get past the bumps

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and you can walk in
peace, walk in the spirit,

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and you can have a happy marriage.

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And we have one. So we're
sharing this week some

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things that we've learned.

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And we want you to get this series

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that comes with the study guide.

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And we want you to get Denise's book,

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which is called, Who Stole Cinderella, the Art

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of Happily Ever After.

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It is just a wonderful, wonderful book.

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I've read it from cover to cover,

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and we want you to order the RIV

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of 1st and 2nd Peter.

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And today we're gonna
be sharing just a little

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bit from this.

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But you can order all these
things by going online

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or just give us a call.

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And by the way, we wanna pray for you.

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So when you reach out
to us, let us know how

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to pray for you.

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Call the number on the screen

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and please write that number down.

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Keep it nearby so

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that if you ever find
yourself in a position

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where you wish somebody
was available to pray

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with you, you know who to call.

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Call us because we want to pray with you.

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And we will pray and
pray and pray with you.

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And we will believe for God

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to do something wonderful in your life.

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And we really believe that he will.

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But today we're gonna talk about - are you ready -

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Shutting the Door to Strife?

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<v ->Yes. - And I'm gonna tell
you about a little story.</v>

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When Denise and I were first married,

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very soon we found our
ourself traveling across the

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United States in a tiny car.

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Denise, was it tiny,

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<v ->Tiny little Isuzu. - It</v>

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was a little Isuzu

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I Mark. - I Mark. - It was tiny, tiny.

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And we were starting our
traveling teaching ministry.

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And we were traveling hours
and hours and hours and hours

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and hours across the United States.

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The Lord had given me a
vision when we started

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and told me to go on a
'Ring of Fire Crusade'.

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<v ->Yeah. - I saw a ring of fire
burning around the perimeter</v>

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of the United States.

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And the Lord said to me, follow the fire.

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So that's what we did.

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So we drove up north to the central part

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of the United States to Minnesota.

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Then we turned West and we
began to drive across Montana

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and Idaho and Washington State, and Oregon and California.

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And then we came down into
Arizona and New Mexico.

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We began making a circle
around the United States.

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That's how our ministry began.

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And then we began coming inward

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to the center part of the States.

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But we were traveling with me

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and Denise Paul was in the backseat.

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<v ->He's two,</v>
<v ->He was two years old.</v>

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And Philip had just been born.

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<v ->Yes.</v>
<v ->He was on Denise's lap.</v>

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<v ->Six weeks old.</v>

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<v ->That's back in the days
when it was not a law</v>

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to have all your kids in a car seat.

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So Denise had Philip on her
lap. Paul was in the backseat.

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And I'm just gonna tell you,
sometimes it got a little

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tense in our car.

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And Paul never wanted
to stay in the car seat.

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Denise, am I telling the truth?

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<v ->Oh, that's the truth.</v>

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We had to keep putting him back in

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that car seat over and over and over

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<v ->Again.</v>

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I mean, it was so bad that
I would pull the car over,

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get out, put Paul back in the car seat.

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By the time I was back
in the driver's seat,

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Paul was already out of the car seat.

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He just refused to stay in the car seat.

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So here we're driving down the road.

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Phillip is on Denise's lap. He is crying.

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Paul is in the back backseat, refusing

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to be in the car seat.

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And we are so close to each other.

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The Denise and I are
nearly joined at the hip.

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<v ->Oh yeah. And those little tiny cars.</v>

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And and we had, I mean the floorboard

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where my feet were was
just covered with things.

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And, and our luggage was,

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was packed on top of the car.

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<v ->It was strapped on.</v>

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We looked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

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I mean the luggage was leaning here.

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We're driving down the road. Yep.

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We carried a tape duplicator in the trunk.

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I carried a typewriter in the trunk,

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plus all of our luggage.

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It, it was pretty tight.

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<v ->And, and Rick, you
were, I gotta say this,</v>

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you were such a hero

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because every time we
stopped at the hotels,

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'cause we lived in hotels there

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for two months, it with straight

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<v ->This time.</v>

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Yeah, these trips, these trips were

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typically two months long.

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<v ->And Rick, every time we'd
take down the luggage from the</v>

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roof of the car, unstrap it, of course,

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and then put it right back
up there. Oh, you were hero

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<v ->Day after day after day after day, hero.</v>

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And the ministry was just
starting. We were young.

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We didn't have much money.
So I'm believing God for,

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I'm believing God for the gas,
for every mile we traveled

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and to pay for all the hotels,
to do all the ministry.

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It was just all so huge.

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And it got a little tense in the car

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because Paul was not in the car seat.

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Philip was crying, and it was just tense.

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And every once in a while, Denise

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and I, who really loved each
other, it would get tense.

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And in the middle of that situation,

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sometimes it was like a spirit

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of strife would come between us.

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Well, Denise and I are not strifeful people.

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That's just not who we are.
We are peace-loving people.

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We are not strifeful people.

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But when we would get into

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strife, Denise, what would happen?

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<v ->The kids would get sick.</v>

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<v ->The kids would get sick.</v>

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And finally we woke up one day

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and we realized - You know what?

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Every time we get into strife,
one of the kids gets sick.

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And we begin to understand

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that strife was a door for the enemy.

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Now I'm gonna give you a verse in Ephesians

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4:27.

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It says, neither give place to the devil.

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And that word place in Greek is the word topos.

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It describes a real geographical location, just as real

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as any door or any window or any crack.

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And here we understood that when Denise

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and I would get in strife with each other,

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somehow it opened a door;
it gave place to the devil

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and the devil would begin to get in

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and our kids would get sick.

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Our kids would get sick.

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And one day we had a
really bad event take place

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where Philip reached over

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and put his hand into a cup

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of piping hot coffee
in a moment of strife,

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and it melted all the
skin off of his hand.

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And we ended up having to go

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to the hospital every single day

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everywhere we went. If we went to a new town,

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the first thing we had to do was find out

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where was the emergency room.

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Because every day they
had to cut off dead skin.

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They had to treat his hand
day after day after day

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after day after day.

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And every time we went
to have his hand treated,

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I was reminded that it took place during a moment of strife.

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And Denise and I just
realized strife opens the door

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to the devil.

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And I wanna read a verse to
you. Are you ready for this?

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In James 3:16,

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it says, For where envying and strife is there is confusion

253
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and every evil work, and the word evil,

254
00:10:55.170 --> 00:10:58.650
here is the Greek word phaulos. It describes foul things.

255
00:10:59.940 --> 00:11:03.600
And so Denise and I made a decision.

256
00:11:03.600 --> 00:11:06.900
And here's what it was,
that we were gonna have a

257
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"No Strife Policy."

258
00:11:11.820 --> 00:11:13.980
You said, well, have you
really lived by that?

259
00:11:13.980 --> 00:11:18.330
Actually, we have. There have
been very few moments in our

260
00:11:18.330 --> 00:11:22.410
44 years of ministry
that we've had strife.

261
00:11:22.410 --> 00:11:24.750
You say, well, how do you
keep strife from entering your

262
00:11:24.750 --> 00:11:26.490
marriage or entering your home?

263
00:11:26.490 --> 00:11:29.910
It is a decision. Strife is an emotion.

264
00:11:30.900 --> 00:11:32.010
You know, I'm gonna make a statement.

265
00:11:32.010 --> 00:11:33.810
I don't want you to
remember this statement.

266
00:11:33.810 --> 00:11:36.210
Emotions are expensive

267
00:11:37.320 --> 00:11:39.900
and you have to decide how
you're going to spend them.

268
00:11:40.980 --> 00:11:45.030
And if you spend your emotions on strife,

269
00:11:45.030 --> 00:11:47.280
it's gonna open the door
for some bad things.

270
00:11:47.280 --> 00:11:49.680
You can choose to reserve those emotions

271
00:11:49.680 --> 00:11:50.970
for something positive.

272
00:11:51.870 --> 00:11:55.420
Emotions are in your control.

273
00:11:55.420 --> 00:11:57.910
And the devil works through emotions

274
00:11:57.910 --> 00:11:59.740
that are not under control.

275
00:11:59.740 --> 00:12:01.780
That's how strife gets in.

276
00:12:01.780 --> 00:12:04.660
Now, you can control yourself
and you can control strife.

277
00:12:04.660 --> 00:12:07.270
I know you can, because when you

278
00:12:07.270 --> 00:12:09.520
and your spouse are in a big fit

279
00:12:09.520 --> 00:12:11.020
and you're fighting with each other,

280
00:12:11.020 --> 00:12:12.640
and suddenly the phone rings,

281
00:12:13.630 --> 00:12:15.880
you change your behavior immediately.

282
00:12:15.880 --> 00:12:18.520
Hello. Well, hey, I'm doing great. How are you?

283
00:12:18.520 --> 00:12:20.200
You know, you're not doing great at all,

284
00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.150
but you're able to pull it under control

285
00:12:22.150 --> 00:12:24.400
because you choose to.

286
00:12:24.400 --> 00:12:27.190
You choose to. And Denise

287
00:12:27.190 --> 00:12:28.870
and I made a decision

288
00:12:30.070 --> 00:12:31.930
that we're gonna have a no strife policy.

289
00:12:31.930 --> 00:12:35.050
And so when our kids were growing up,

290
00:12:36.130 --> 00:12:38.200
they didn't see strife in our home

291
00:12:38.200 --> 00:12:40.990
because we had a no strife policy.

292
00:12:40.990 --> 00:12:42.370
Now that does not mean

293
00:12:42.370 --> 00:12:44.770
that we didn't have the
opportunity for strife.

294
00:12:44.770 --> 00:12:47.350
Of course, strife is a spirit by the way.

295
00:12:47.350 --> 00:12:49.810
You can feel it when strife comes;

296
00:12:49.810 --> 00:12:52.510
it tempts you, it lures you.

297
00:12:52.510 --> 00:12:53.620
You have to say no to it.

298
00:12:54.850 --> 00:12:57.310
And my friends, if you
make no room for it,

299
00:12:57.310 --> 00:12:58.930
then you won't get into strife.

300
00:12:58.930 --> 00:12:59.950
And so if Denise

301
00:12:59.950 --> 00:13:01.600
and I were tempted to get into strife,

302
00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:03.550
sometimes we would just say, Hey,

303
00:13:03.550 --> 00:13:05.200
I need a few minutes by myself.

304
00:13:06.100 --> 00:13:09.280
You know what? I just need to
be quiet for a few moments.

305
00:13:09.280 --> 00:13:11.680
We'd get alone by ourself or take a walk

306
00:13:11.680 --> 00:13:14.830
or do something to get
away, to calm ourself down

307
00:13:14.830 --> 00:13:16.570
and pull ourself into control.

308
00:13:16.570 --> 00:13:20.410
Because we learned that
when you get into strife,

309
00:13:20.410 --> 00:13:24.340
you open the door for
bad things to take place.

310
00:13:24.340 --> 00:13:28.480
Or like James 3:16 says, for every evil work,

311
00:13:29.440 --> 00:13:32.350
and this was so powerful in our life,

312
00:13:32.350 --> 00:13:34.450
that we carried the
policy into our ministry.

313
00:13:35.530 --> 00:13:38.020
Now, when you have a
ministry that is large

314
00:13:38.020 --> 00:13:41.050
and you have a lot of
employees, there's opportunity

315
00:13:41.050 --> 00:13:42.520
for people to have disagreements.

316
00:13:42.520 --> 00:13:44.980
There's nothing wrong with disagreements,

317
00:13:44.980 --> 00:13:47.800
but the way you deal with disagreements is very important.

318
00:13:47.800 --> 00:13:49.750
And strife is never helpful.

319
00:13:49.750 --> 00:13:52.930
Strife always opens
the door for the devil.

320
00:13:52.930 --> 00:13:54.430
So even in our ministry

321
00:13:54.430 --> 00:13:58.300
and in our churches, we
have a no strife policy.

322
00:13:58.300 --> 00:14:01.060
And guess what, Denise? When
you have a no strife policy,

323
00:14:01.060 --> 00:14:03.010
people don't get into strife it.

324
00:14:03.010 --> 00:14:07.270
It doesn't happen because you
don't open the door for it.

325
00:14:07.270 --> 00:14:12.010
It requires people to pray.
It requires people to grow up.

326
00:14:12.010 --> 00:14:16.660
It requires people to discuss things maturely,

327
00:14:16.660 --> 00:14:20.500
but we don't allow strife in our marriage.

328
00:14:20.500 --> 00:14:22.420
We don't allow it with our kids.

329
00:14:22.420 --> 00:14:25.390
Even we don't get into
strife with our adult kids,

330
00:14:26.230 --> 00:14:28.210
and we don't allow it in the ministry

331
00:14:28.210 --> 00:14:33.190
because strife opens a door
for every evil work. Denise,

332
00:14:33.190 --> 00:14:35.620
<v ->You know Rick, I'm just
looking at that scripture,</v>

333
00:14:35.620 --> 00:14:39.100
verse 16 where it says, envy.

334
00:14:39.100 --> 00:14:43.840
Where envy and self seeking exists, confusion

335
00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:47.740
and every evil thing are there.

336
00:14:47.740 --> 00:14:52.700
And strife really comes from self seeking,

337
00:14:52.700 --> 00:14:56.510
like how important you are and your rights

338
00:14:56.510 --> 00:14:58.100
and your boundaries.

339
00:14:58.100 --> 00:15:00.740
And I'm gonna hold my line

340
00:15:00.740 --> 00:15:02.750
and I'm gonna show you that I'm right

341
00:15:02.750 --> 00:15:05.360
and I'm gonna show you that you are wrong.

342
00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:09.740
And so that opens the door for strife.

343
00:15:09.740 --> 00:15:13.130
But I just want you to see it.

344
00:15:13.130 --> 00:15:17.060
Who wants confusion

345
00:15:17.060 --> 00:15:19.670
or every evil thing?

346
00:15:20.540 --> 00:15:25.070
So you have to look at
strife for what it is.

347
00:15:25.070 --> 00:15:27.500
<v ->It brings destruction.</v>
<v ->It absolutely</v>

348
00:15:27.500 --> 00:15:28.880
brings destruction.

349
00:15:28.880 --> 00:15:32.240
<v ->And you know, sometimes strife takes place when you get</v>

350
00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:33.890
involved in a conversation

351
00:15:33.890 --> 00:15:36.410
and you begin just talking back and forth.

352
00:15:37.340 --> 00:15:40.010
And the Bible calls it railing for railing.

353
00:15:40.010 --> 00:15:43.490
So I want to refer to 1 Peter 3:9.

354
00:15:43.490 --> 00:15:47.870
And I'm referring to some of my work in the RIV of 1st

355
00:15:47.870 --> 00:15:49.070
Peter, listen

356
00:15:49.070 --> 00:15:51.590
to this. In 1 Peter 3:9,

357
00:15:51.590 --> 00:15:54.260
now, Peter has been addressing husbands and wives.

358
00:15:54.260 --> 00:15:56.900
He's continuing to
address all relationships,

359
00:15:56.900 --> 00:15:58.850
including husbands and wives.

360
00:15:58.850 --> 00:16:01.160
And in 1 Peter 3:9,

361
00:16:01.160 --> 00:16:02.690
listen to what he says -

362
00:16:02.690 --> 00:16:04.970
Not rendering evil for evil

363
00:16:06.140 --> 00:16:10.640
or railing for railing, but contrariwise, blessing;

364
00:16:10.640 --> 00:16:13.520
knowing that you are there unto called

365
00:16:13.520 --> 00:16:16.880
that you should inherit a blessing.

366
00:16:16.880 --> 00:16:21.740
And when he says, not
rendering evil for evil,

367
00:16:21.740 --> 00:16:24.080
listen to this.

368
00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:27.650
It means you absolutely must not try to get even

369
00:16:27.650 --> 00:16:31.820
to get revenge or to pay someone back for what he did to you

370
00:16:31.820 --> 00:16:33.230
or to someone else.

371
00:16:33.230 --> 00:16:36.620
Don't try to settle the score by repaying.

372
00:16:37.610 --> 00:16:42.610
That is a literal interpretation of this verse. Wow!

373
00:16:42.865 --> 00:16:45.230
And it says evil for evil.

374
00:16:45.230 --> 00:16:48.170
The word evil is a form of the Greek word kakos,

375
00:16:48.170 --> 00:16:49.940
which describes what is bad, evil,

376
00:16:49.940 --> 00:16:53.120
malicious rotten attitudes and behaviors.

377
00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:57.230
Wow. And when it says, for evil, the word -

378
00:16:57.230 --> 00:17:00.290
for - is the Greek word anti: means in exchange for.

379
00:17:00.290 --> 00:17:01.790
And if you put all this together,

380
00:17:01.790 --> 00:17:03.530
here's the RIV of this verse.

381
00:17:03.530 --> 00:17:04.790
Are you ready for this, Denise?

382
00:17:04.790 --> 00:17:08.390
This is the RIV of 1 Peter 3:9.

383
00:17:08.390 --> 00:17:13.070
You absolutely must not try to get even, to get revenge,

384
00:17:13.070 --> 00:17:15.470
or to pay someone back for what he did

385
00:17:15.470 --> 00:17:17.240
to you or to someone else.

386
00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:19.970
Think of the times in marriage that people, I mean

387
00:17:19.970 --> 00:17:22.460
before they're supposed to be
listening to the other person,

388
00:17:22.460 --> 00:17:24.110
but they're already thinking about how they're gonna respond

389
00:17:24.110 --> 00:17:25.430
to what the person is saying.

390
00:17:25.430 --> 00:17:27.110
They're not really listening

391
00:17:27.110 --> 00:17:28.820
because they're thinking about how they're gonna pay

392
00:17:28.820 --> 00:17:29.990
that statement back.

393
00:17:30.860 --> 00:17:34.310
And Peter says, you absolutely
must not try to get even

394
00:17:34.310 --> 00:17:38.030
to get revenge or to pay
someone back for what he did

395
00:17:38.030 --> 00:17:39.200
to you or to someone else.

396
00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:43.190
Don't try to settle the score
by repaying someone's bad,

397
00:17:43.190 --> 00:17:44.990
evil, malicious rotten attitudes

398
00:17:44.990 --> 00:17:47.960
and behaviors in exchange for bad, evil,

399
00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:50.730
malicious rotten attitudes and behaviors.

400
00:17:50.730 --> 00:17:55.020
Or if someone has verbally abused, berated, damaged, debase,

401
00:17:55.020 --> 00:17:58.500
harassed, humiliated, insulted, or misused you

402
00:17:58.500 --> 00:18:02.070
or someone else, do not make it your business

403
00:18:02.070 --> 00:18:06.000
to pay them back with the same kind of verbal abuse.

404
00:18:07.020 --> 00:18:08.580
That is a literal interpretation.

405
00:18:08.580 --> 00:18:11.820
Now, Denise, if we stopped
right there, that's enough

406
00:18:11.820 --> 00:18:14.370
for you to work on for a long time.

407
00:18:14.370 --> 00:18:18.180
But Peter goes on to say - But country-wise, blessing.

408
00:18:18.180 --> 00:18:21.185
<v ->Blessing - Knowing that you are there unto called</v>

409
00:18:21.185 --> 00:18:23.580
that you should inherit a blessing.

410
00:18:23.580 --> 00:18:26.220
And the RIV translates it like this -

411
00:18:26.220 --> 00:18:29.580
But on the contrary, into the farthest opposite end

412
00:18:29.580 --> 00:18:32.880
of the spectrum - I love that -

413
00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:36.570
you must instead speak a verbal blessing in

414
00:18:36.570 --> 00:18:38.130
response to them.

415
00:18:38.130 --> 00:18:39.900
For it is for this very purpose

416
00:18:39.900 --> 00:18:42.433
that you have been prestigiously called -

417
00:18:42.433 --> 00:18:44.008
the you should be the

418
00:18:44.008 --> 00:18:46.470
recipients of blessing.

419
00:18:47.790 --> 00:18:51.690
And even in your marriage,
God wants your marriage

420
00:18:51.690 --> 00:18:53.940
to be the recipient of a blessing.

421
00:18:53.940 --> 00:18:56.220
And so here's what Denise and I do.

422
00:18:56.220 --> 00:18:58.980
If we're ever tempted to get into strife,

423
00:19:00.360 --> 00:19:03.390
I will intentionally just
start saying, Denise,

424
00:19:03.390 --> 00:19:04.740
you're such a blessing to me.

425
00:19:05.610 --> 00:19:08.340
Or she'll say, well, here's
what I have to say to that.

426
00:19:08.340 --> 00:19:13.110
I love you. We make a
decision contrary wise,

427
00:19:13.110 --> 00:19:14.820
to speak a blessing.

428
00:19:14.820 --> 00:19:17.610
And it doesn't say to think a blessing,

429
00:19:17.610 --> 00:19:19.500
it says to speak a blessing.

430
00:19:19.500 --> 00:19:21.660
Blessings have to be verbalized.

431
00:19:22.500 --> 00:19:24.930
So rather than pay each other back

432
00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:27.480
and say, well, I know how
I'm gonna answer that.

433
00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:28.890
Well, I'll tell you what,
that's what you think.

434
00:19:28.890 --> 00:19:30.060
But wait until you're quiet.

435
00:19:30.060 --> 00:19:31.770
I'm gonna tell you what I think about.

436
00:19:31.770 --> 00:19:33.960
Rather than pay each other back

437
00:19:33.960 --> 00:19:36.990
and just get into a dragged out,

438
00:19:36.990 --> 00:19:39.390
prolonged conversation,

439
00:19:39.390 --> 00:19:41.910
that's not gonna take
you anywhere positive,

440
00:19:41.910 --> 00:19:43.770
just put on the brakes

441
00:19:43.770 --> 00:19:46.800
<v ->And remember that you're called to this.</v>

442
00:19:46.800 --> 00:19:51.660
There's a calling to to bless one another

443
00:19:51.660 --> 00:19:54.150
that's on the inside of your spirit.

444
00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:59.150
Now, the inside of your
spirit is a call, is a place

445
00:19:59.190 --> 00:20:02.700
for you, is from that spirit
of love that's on the inside

446
00:20:02.700 --> 00:20:05.850
of your heart, that it says in Romans 5,

447
00:20:05.850 --> 00:20:07.290
that when you got born again,

448
00:20:07.290 --> 00:20:11.430
it was shed abroad over
your heart, the love of God.

449
00:20:11.430 --> 00:20:15.420
From that place, you have the power

450
00:20:15.420 --> 00:20:19.080
to look at your spouse if
they said something ugly

451
00:20:19.080 --> 00:20:21.390
and say, I love you.

452
00:20:21.390 --> 00:20:23.700
You are such a blessing to me.

453
00:20:23.700 --> 00:20:27.930
And the Bible says in Proverbs 15:1, it says

454
00:20:27.930 --> 00:20:31.890
that a soft answer will turn away wrath - and

455
00:20:31.890 --> 00:20:33.630
or once a soft answer, a,

456
00:20:33.630 --> 00:20:37.680
a soft answer comes from a
soft place, not a hard place,

457
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:40.470
not a place that I'm gonna get you back,

458
00:20:40.470 --> 00:20:44.430
but a place that..I'm gonna bless you.

459
00:20:44.430 --> 00:20:49.060
<v ->And Ecclesiastes 3says, there is a time to speak</v>

460
00:20:49.060 --> 00:20:50.410
and there's a time not to speak.

461
00:20:50.410 --> 00:20:52.390
There's a time to embrace

462
00:20:52.390 --> 00:20:55.210
and there's a time to
refrain from embracing.

463
00:20:55.210 --> 00:20:58.150
And sometimes when you're
tempted to get in dis strife,

464
00:20:58.150 --> 00:21:00.370
it's okay to say, you know what?

465
00:21:00.370 --> 00:21:01.990
This is a time for us to be quiet.

466
00:21:03.070 --> 00:21:05.920
This is a time for us to
refrain from embracing.

467
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:09.250
We just need a little
distance and calm down.

468
00:21:09.250 --> 00:21:12.610
Do whatever you have to do to
maintain peace in your home.

469
00:21:12.610 --> 00:21:16.060
Because when you open a door

470
00:21:16.060 --> 00:21:18.250
to the devil, he comes in.

471
00:21:18.250 --> 00:21:19.480
He really does.

472
00:21:20.320 --> 00:21:24.070
And in fact, in 1 Peter 5:7,

473
00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:26.350
Peter says - Be sober,

474
00:21:26.350 --> 00:21:29.500
be vigilant because your adversary - the devil -

475
00:21:29.500 --> 00:21:34.060
walks about looking for victims to pounce on and to devour.

476
00:21:35.050 --> 00:21:36.850
And one of the entryways that

477
00:21:36.850 --> 00:21:39.100
that evil enemy finds entrance is

478
00:21:39.100 --> 00:21:41.410
through strife - is through strife.

479
00:21:41.410 --> 00:21:45.460
And that's very often
when accidents happen,

480
00:21:45.460 --> 00:21:48.100
that's when people get sick.

481
00:21:48.100 --> 00:21:50.920
That's when things begin to go haywire.

482
00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:51.970
If you look at it

483
00:21:51.970 --> 00:21:56.140
and really study it, very
often bad things happen

484
00:21:56.140 --> 00:21:58.480
around an event of strife.

485
00:22:00.220 --> 00:22:04.690
<v ->And you know, Rick, if
you'll go and get by yourself</v>

486
00:22:04.690 --> 00:22:09.640
and seek God, he'll show
you what's inside of you

487
00:22:09.640 --> 00:22:13.510
that causes you to be resentful, to be

488
00:22:13.510 --> 00:22:14.920
so self-seeking

489
00:22:14.920 --> 00:22:16.540
because that's what James said.

490
00:22:16.540 --> 00:22:19.660
It says it comes from self seeking.

491
00:22:19.660 --> 00:22:22.480
Well, why are we so self-seeking?

492
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:24.700
Well, the root of that is fear.

493
00:22:24.700 --> 00:22:28.060
But God, he's given us that love.

494
00:22:28.060 --> 00:22:33.060
And from that love on the inside - as we just read,

495
00:22:33.370 --> 00:22:36.400
we are called to bless one another

496
00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:39.400
<v ->And to inherit a blessing</v>
<v ->And to inherit a blessing.</v>

497
00:22:39.400 --> 00:22:40.900
<v ->And I want to tell you something else.</v>

498
00:22:40.900 --> 00:22:42.850
When you're tempted to say something ugly

499
00:22:42.850 --> 00:22:45.190
and to get into strife,
you need to remember

500
00:22:45.190 --> 00:22:46.300
who you're talking to.

501
00:22:47.140 --> 00:22:50.110
You're talking to the person
that God called you to.

502
00:22:50.110 --> 00:22:52.000
You're talking to a
person that's forgiven you

503
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:53.500
of a lot of things.

504
00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:56.350
A person that has
overlooked a lot of things.

505
00:22:56.350 --> 00:23:00.430
And maybe it's just a moment for you to give somebody grace.

506
00:23:00.430 --> 00:23:02.770
And that's what we're gonna talk about in the next episode,

507
00:23:02.770 --> 00:23:05.500
The Power of Forgiveness in Marriage.

508
00:23:05.500 --> 00:23:06.760
It's gonna really be good.

509
00:23:06.760 --> 00:23:09.400
But Denise, we're out of
time, but this has been good

510
00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:11.620
and we hope it's been a help to you.

511
00:23:11.620 --> 00:23:13.510
But we'll be back in just a moment

512
00:23:13.510 --> 00:23:14.590
and we're gonna pray for you.

513
00:23:23.140 --> 00:23:25.780
Does our family have very
many family traditions?

514
00:23:25.780 --> 00:23:27.280
Well, we do, but they're a little

515
00:23:27.280 --> 00:23:28.630
different than other people.

516
00:23:28.630 --> 00:23:32.110
For example, 4th of July,
we lost that tradition

517
00:23:32.110 --> 00:23:35.320
because that's an American
holiday and we live in Russia.

518
00:23:35.320 --> 00:23:37.990
They don't celebrate the
4th of July in Russia.

519
00:23:37.990 --> 00:23:40.750
In fact, the 4th of
July is just a work day.

520
00:23:40.750 --> 00:23:43.030
So we kinda lost that one over the years.

521
00:23:43.030 --> 00:23:46.190
But we do celebrate
Thanksgiving even though

522
00:23:46.190 --> 00:23:47.810
that is not a Russian tradition.

523
00:23:47.810 --> 00:23:50.570
And in fact, when you guys
all got married, we had

524
00:23:50.570 --> 00:23:53.030
to explain to your wives
what Thanksgiving was

525
00:23:53.030 --> 00:23:54.680
because they had never heard of it.

526
00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:57.230
But we have retained Thanksgiving,

527
00:23:57.230 --> 00:23:59.090
we have retained Christmas.

528
00:23:59.090 --> 00:24:01.520
How be it not the same day

529
00:24:01.520 --> 00:24:03.740
that the Western world celebrates.

530
00:24:03.740 --> 00:24:06.380
The western world celebrates on December 25th,

531
00:24:06.380 --> 00:24:10.520
but Russian Christmas is on January 7th.

532
00:24:10.520 --> 00:24:14.120
We do celebrate Easter, but it's on a different calendar.

533
00:24:14.120 --> 00:24:18.260
So we celebrate usually 2 weeks later than Western Easter.

534
00:24:18.260 --> 00:24:21.620
But we do celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.

535
00:24:21.620 --> 00:24:24.410
Those are our primary family traditions.

536
00:24:25.280 --> 00:24:29.300
<v ->Want a marriage filled with peace, purpose, and joy.</v>

537
00:24:29.300 --> 00:24:33.110
In this new series, How to Have a Happy Marriage, Rick

538
00:24:33.110 --> 00:24:35.540
and Denise Renner share biblical wisdom

539
00:24:35.540 --> 00:24:37.220
and real life lessons

540
00:24:37.220 --> 00:24:39.380
that have helped them
strengthen their relationship

541
00:24:39.380 --> 00:24:41.960
with one another, overcome strife

542
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:45.110
and experience the joy of
a God-centered marriage.

543
00:24:45.950 --> 00:24:49.340
In this 5-part series, you will learn: How

544
00:24:49.340 --> 00:24:53.120
to find purpose in your marriage - How to eliminate strife

545
00:24:53.120 --> 00:24:56.810
and maintain peace - The power of forgiveness -

546
00:24:56.810 --> 00:24:59.810
How to let the Holy Spirit guide your tongue -

547
00:24:59.810 --> 00:25:01.010
available in digital

548
00:25:01.010 --> 00:25:04.610
or physical formats, starting at just $11.

549
00:25:04.610 --> 00:25:05.990
This series will equip you

550
00:25:05.990 --> 00:25:09.800
to strengthen your marriage on
a solid biblical foundation.

551
00:25:09.800 --> 00:25:11.960
In addition to this teaching series,

552
00:25:11.960 --> 00:25:15.140
you can order Denise's book, Who Stole Cinderella

553
00:25:15.140 --> 00:25:17.570
and Rick's book, the RIV of 1st

554
00:25:17.570 --> 00:25:19.700
and 2nd Peter: order today.

555
00:25:19.700 --> 00:25:22.550
Don't miss this special offer
of the bundle of the series,

556
00:25:22.550 --> 00:25:26.090
How to Have a Happy Marriage
starting at just $11,

557
00:25:26.090 --> 00:25:30.140
and the books, Who Stole Cinderella. for $17.

558
00:25:30.140 --> 00:25:34.820
And the RIV of 1st &amp; 2nd Peter for $38.

559
00:25:34.820 --> 00:25:36.440
Call the number on your screen

560
00:25:36.440 --> 00:25:39.200
or go online to renner.org to order.

561
00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:41.390
Call or go online now.

562
00:25:44.990 --> 00:25:47.330
<v ->Well, this has really
been a great program today.</v>

563
00:25:47.330 --> 00:25:48.710
And Denise, you have something to say.

564
00:25:49.550 --> 00:25:51.980
<v ->There's a couple and you're listening</v>

565
00:25:51.980 --> 00:25:56.810
and you're even contemplating divorce. Right now,

566
00:25:56.810 --> 00:26:01.810
the Holy Spirit is so
there upon both of you

567
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:06.740
to recognize the union
that you have together,

568
00:26:06.740 --> 00:26:10.190
the covenant you made together before God

569
00:26:10.190 --> 00:26:11.870
and with each other.

570
00:26:11.870 --> 00:26:16.670
And that your marriage is not, is not

571
00:26:16.670 --> 00:26:18.350
just something to throw away.

572
00:26:18.350 --> 00:26:21.470
Your marriage is precious

573
00:26:21.470 --> 00:26:26.000
and to reevaluate what you are thinking

574
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:27.440
and come together

575
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:30.440
and recognize the good things in one another.

576
00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:31.670
<v ->Amen. Thank you, Denise.</v>

577
00:26:31.670 --> 00:26:33.170
That was a word of knowledge for somebody,

578
00:26:33.170 --> 00:26:35.810
so take it and act on it.

579
00:26:35.810 --> 00:26:37.730
But hey, we're almost out of time.

580
00:26:37.730 --> 00:26:39.110
We want you to get this series called,

581
00:26:39.110 --> 00:26:40.220
How to Have a Happy Marriage.

582
00:26:40.220 --> 00:26:41.930
It comes with a study guide

583
00:26:41.930 --> 00:26:43.050
and we want you

584
00:26:43.050 --> 00:26:46.230
to get Denise's book called,
Who Stole Cinderella?

585
00:26:46.230 --> 00:26:49.650
And we want you to be sure to order the RIV of 1st

586
00:26:49.650 --> 00:26:51.030
&amp; 2nd Peter.

587
00:26:51.030 --> 00:26:52.710
Father, we thank you in the name of Jesus

588
00:26:52.710 --> 00:26:55.530
that today you've allowed
us to be together.

589
00:26:55.530 --> 00:26:58.140
And thank you that you've
given us the power to say no

590
00:26:58.140 --> 00:26:59.375
to his spirit of strife.

591
00:26:59.375 --> 00:27:02.160
<v ->Amen.</v>
<v ->And I pray for every person</v>

592
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:04.080
and every couple listening right now

593
00:27:04.080 --> 00:27:06.450
that you would make a decision

594
00:27:06.450 --> 00:27:09.720
to have a no strife policy in your life.

595
00:27:09.720 --> 00:27:11.850
You just need to make that decision.

596
00:27:11.850 --> 00:27:14.670
And the Holy Spirit will
empower you to make it

597
00:27:14.670 --> 00:27:16.410
and he'll help you fulfill it,

598
00:27:16.410 --> 00:27:20.130
and he'll teach you how to
speak about things maturely

599
00:27:20.130 --> 00:27:22.710
and not in a spirit of strife.

600
00:27:22.710 --> 00:27:26.250
And we thank you for this in Jesus name - Amen.

601
00:27:26.250 --> 00:27:30.120
But until then, remember Ecclesiastes 8:4, it says,

602
00:27:30.120 --> 00:27:33.900
"Where the word of the king is, there is power."

603
00:27:33.900 --> 00:27:36.960
<v ->If you've never received Jesus as your Savior</v>

604
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:41.130
and Lord, now is the time for
you to experience a new life

605
00:27:41.130 --> 00:27:42.870
Jesus has to give you.

606
00:27:42.870 --> 00:27:46.080
Pray this prayer with me right now: Lord,

607
00:27:46.080 --> 00:27:50.040
I repent of my sin and
receive you as my Savior

608
00:27:50.040 --> 00:27:54.810
and Lord. Wash away my sin and make me completely new.

609
00:27:54.810 --> 00:27:57.000
I thank you that my sin is removed

610
00:27:57.000 --> 00:28:01.290
and Satan no longer has any
right to lay claim on me.

611
00:28:01.290 --> 00:28:05.970
I faithfully promise that
I will serve you as my Lord

612
00:28:05.970 --> 00:28:08.730
for the rest of my life. Amen.

613
00:28:09.660 --> 00:28:12.270
<v ->If you just prayed the
prayer of salvation with us,</v>

614
00:28:12.270 --> 00:28:13.950
would you please let us know by going

615
00:28:13.950 --> 00:28:16.350
to renner.org/salvation.

616
00:28:16.350 --> 00:28:18.840
We would love to connect with you.