REBECCA WEISS: ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
I'M HERE WITH NICHOLAS BOWLING.
AND THIS IS COOL, GUYS, BECAUSE I LOVE YOUTUBE,
I WATCH YOUTUBE VIDEOS, I LOVE EVANGELISM.
AND I SAW YOUR VIDEOS, AND I WAS IMMEDIATELY STRUCK
WITH TWO THINGS.
ONE, YOUR ABILITY TO PREACH THE GOSPEL.
BUT TWO, EVEN MORE, WAS YOUR ABILITY TO STAY CALM
IN VERY TENSE SITUATIONS AND LIKE HAVE NO FEAR OF MAN.
AND HAVING SUCH A BOLDNESS BUT YET SUCH A CALMNESS AND A PEACE.
AND SO I WAS LIKE, I REACHED OUT TO MY PRODUCER,
AND I WAS LIKE, HEY,
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN INTERVIEW THIS GUY,
AND NOW YOU'RE HERE, SO THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
NICHOLAS BOWLING: YEAH, THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
REBECCA: YEAH.
NICHOLAS: AND ALL GLORY TO HIM.
REBECCA: YEAH.
SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THE YOUTUBE VIDEOS NOW?
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
MAN, THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.
PEOPLE ASK ME THIS OFTEN.
YOU WOULD THINK I WOULD FIGURE OUT HOW MANY YEARS IT'S BEEN.
I WANT TO SAY MAYBE SEVEN YEARS, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SIX OR SEVEN YEARS,
IF WE SCROLLED BACK TO OUR FIRST YOUTUBE VIDEO.
BUT EVEN BEFORE THEN, I WAS DOING A LITTLE BIT,
JUST SOME FACEBOOK TEACHINGS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
SO, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS.
REBECCA: SO YOU JUST STARTED POSTING,
NOT REALLY THINKING MUCH ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD TURN INTO.
NICHOLAS: YEAH, YEAH.
I DEFINITELY WASN'T THINKING LIKE, HEY, GUYS,
LET'S TRY TO GET BIG AND TRY TO REACH MILLIONS.
THAT WASN'T REALLY MY THINKING.
I WAS JUST REALLY TRYING TO SERVE THE LOCAL CHURCH
THAT I WAS IN.
AND THEN THE LORD HAD OTHER PLANS.
REBECCA: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOUR VIDEOS
IS BECAUSE THERE'S A FEW PEOPLE WHO DO STREET EVANGELISM
AND UPLOAD IT.
WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU IS, YOU'RE NOT JUST TRYING TO
GO IN AND LIKE GET A RISE OUT OF PEOPLE OR RUFFLE FEATHERS
BY GOING INTO CONTROVERSIAL SITUATIONS.
YOU GO INTO DARK PLACES AND JUST SHINE THE LIGHT OF JESUS.
AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU.
I FEEL LIKE THAT'S LIKE THE HEART OF GOD.
AND SO THAT WAS ONE OF THE REASONS
WHY I WANTED TO HAVE YOU ON.
BUT YEAH, GUYS, WE'LL LINK HIS CHANNEL IN THE DESCRIPTION,
BUT YOU'RE GOING ALL OVER TO SO MANY
DIFFERENT KINDS OF PLACES AND PREACHING THE WORD
AND HAVING THIS CALM.
HOW DO YOU NOT GET -- HOW DO YOU LIKE,
WHEN YOU'RE IN THE GAY PRIDE PARADES
AND ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE ATTACKING YOU,
HOW DO YOU STAY CALM?
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
WELL, IT'S REALLY A FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT, HONESTLY.
I HAD A PROPHET COME TO OUR CHURCH
AND HE HAD WATCHED ONE OF OUR VIDEOS, AND HE SAID,
HE GAVE VERBIAGE TO WHAT I WAS FEELING,
BUT HE SAID IT'S ALMOST LIKE A BUBBLE OF PEACE,
LIKE YOU'RE IN A BUBBLE OF PEACE.
AND IT REALLY IS.
TO GO IN THOSE PLACES, FIRST OFF,
THE FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT ARE SUPERNATURAL.
LIKE THIS ISN'T JUST A NORMAL PATIENCE.
IT'S NOT JUST A NORMAL PEACE,
NOT JUST A NORMAL GENTLENESS.
THEY'RE ACTUALLY SUPERNATURAL
AND THEY'RE THE FRUITS OF GOD,
THE FRUITS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
SO IN THOSE MOMENTS, IT'S AMAZING TO ME THE PATIENCE,
THE SUPERNATURAL PATIENCE THAT IS ALMOST TANGIBLE,
AND EVEN THE PEACE.
BUT HONESTLY EVEN THE COMPASSION OF GOD,
OFTENTIMES, WHEN THOSE PEOPLE EVEN ARE SCREAMING AT ME
IN MY FACE OR WE WERE AT ONE PRIDE EVENT
AND THERE WAS LIKE A CROWD AROUND US,
AND THERE WAS A GIRL JUST LITERALLY SCREAMING
AS LOUD AS SHE COULD IN MY EARS,
EVEN IN THOSE MOMENTS TO SENSE THE COMPASSION OF THE LORD,
IT'S LIKE THIS OVERWHELMING THING
OF NOT JUST I'M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO PUNCH SOMEONE
IN THE FACE, BUT IT'S LITERALLY THIS COMPASSION
I CAN FEEL FOR PEOPLE, AND IT'S REALLY GOD REVEALING
HIS HEART FOR THOSE PEOPLE AND THEN HELPING ME
IN THOSE MOMENTS.
PAUL SAID, IT'S NO LONGER I LIVE,
BUT CHRIST WHO LIVES IN ME.
SO IT'S JESUS LIVING IN AND THROUGH ME.
THERE'S ANOTHER VERSE THAT TALKS ABOUT BASICALLY LIKE
WE'VE DIED SO THAT THE LIFE OF CHRIST
CAN BASICALLY LIVE THROUGH US.
SO IT'S REALLY JESUS IN ME THAT'S DOING ALL THOSE THINGS.
AND I GUESS MANIFESTING, REVEALING HIMSELF IN THOSE WAYS.
REBECCA: YEAH.
I CAN ACTUALLY LIKE, WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU, EVEN NOW,
YOU HAVE THE PEACE OF GOD IN YOU.
LIKE YOU CAN SEE IT.
IT'S AMAZING.
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T -- THAT'S NOT SOMETHING,
LIKE YOU SAID, YOU CAN'T MANUFACTURE IT,
YOU'RE NOT DOING IT OUT OF YOUR OWN WILL OR STRENGTH.
IT'S SOMETHING, THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT
IS A BYPRODUCT OF ABIDING IN HIM,
AND THEN THIS HOLY SPIRIT PRODUCES THAT FRUIT IN US.
IT'S NOT SOMETHING LIKE, OKAY,
I'M GOING TO STAY CALM IN THIS SITUATION.
YOU EITHER HAVE IT OR YOU DON'T.
SO WHEN YOU'RE WALKING INTO THOSE SITUATIONS, IT'S THERE.
AND THERE'S A SUPERNATURAL GRACE, AS WELL,
WHICH I THINK IS JUST AMAZING.
BUT WHAT I LOVE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT COMPASSION
IS THAT WHEN YOU STUDY JESUS AND THE GOSPELS,
TIME AND TIME AGAIN, IT SAYS,
HE WAS MOVED WITH COMPASSION,
AND THEN JESUS WOULD ALWAYS GO TO MINISTER INTO THE PEOPLE.
SO THAT IS THAT SAME THING THAT MOVED JESUS
TO MINISTER TO PEOPLE WHILE HE WAS DOING HIS MINISTRY ON EARTH.
SO THAT'S SUCH LIKE A COOL THING.
NICHOLAS: AMEN, AMEN.
REBECCA: THAT CONNECTION.
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
ANOTHER THING LIKE IN THOSE MOMENTS, OFTENTIMES,
THERE ARE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WHO COME UP.
AND IT'S NOT THAT THE PEACE GOES
WHEN THE RELIGIOUS HYPOCRITES START TO COME UP,
BUT IT'S THIS ALMOST RIGHTEOUS ANGER,
LIKE JESUS FLIPPED THE TABLES IN THE TEMPLE.
IT'S THE SAME JESUS THAT WAS SHOWING SUCH MERCY
AND COMPASSION WITH THE WOMAN COMMITTING ADULTERY
OR THE WOMAN AT THE WELL.
BUT THERE IS THIS RIGHTEOUS ANGER,
THIS LION OF JUDAH-TYPE THING THAT COMES OUT
WHEN IT IS THE RELIGIOUS HYPOCRITES WHO KNOW BETTER,
WHO ARE TEACHING SOMETHING,
AND THEN THEY'RE LIVING A LIFESTYLE.
REALLY, IT GETS DOWN TO, WE TALKED EARLIER
ON A DIFFERENT SHOW, ABOUT HOW GOD IS A JEALOUS GOD.
SO GOD IS JEALOUS TO DRAW PEOPLE TO HIM.
AND WHEN PEOPLE ARE DELIBERATELY
LEADING PEOPLE AWAY FROM HIM, THERE IS A RIGHTEOUS ANGER
THAT RISES UP BECAUSE GOD WANTS HIM TO COME.
SO IT DOESN'T HAPPEN A LOT,
BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHERE MAYBE IT IS A RELIGIOUS HYPOCRITE,
AND THEN THAT RIGHTEOUS ANGER SIDE OF JESUS
ENDS UP COMING OUT.
REBECCA: YEAH, BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE HINDERING
THE LOST COMING TO JESUS.
SO THAT LIKE MOVES THE HEART OF GOD.
IT ANGERS GOD, BECAUSE IT'S LIKE THEY'RE BEING
A BLOCKADE TO THE MINISTRY OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT JESUS SAYS IN SCRIPTURE
TO THE PHARISEES, BECAUSE HE WAS STERN WITH THEM,
HE WAS STERN WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY HAD THIS ROLE
AS A MINISTER
AND THEY WERE HINDERING PEOPLE,
THEY WEREN'T HELPING THEM.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS JESUS SAYS IS HE SAYS,
YOU PUT HEAVY BURDENS ON PEOPLE'S BACKS,
BUT YOU DO NOTHING TO LIFT A FINGER
TO EVEN HELP GET THE BURDEN OFF,
SAYING YOU'RE PUTTING ALL THESE
LIKE EXTRA WORKS AND MAKING PEOPLE DO MORE
AND ALL THESE BURDENS OF RELIGION ON PEOPLE'S BACKS,
BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN USING YOUR OWN STRENGTH
TO HELP LIFT THAT BURDEN, AND THAT'S WHAT RELIGION DOES.
IT'S MAKING PEOPLE JUMP THROUGH HOOPS TO REACH GOD
WHEN IN REALITY, THE SON OF GOD, JESUS,
DID EVERYTHING TO OPEN THE WAY FOR US.
HE DID THE HARD WORK.
WE HUMBLE OURSELVES AND COME BEFORE HIM.
AND SO THAT'S WHAT I LOVE, THE GOSPEL,
THE GOSPEL OF GRACE IS THAT NO MATTER HOW LOST YOU ARE,
GOD HAS A HEART FOR THESE PEOPLE,
AND HE WANTS THEM TO COME, AND HE'S OPENED UP THE WAY
THROUGH THE DEATH OF HIS SON, THE LIFE, DEATH,
AND RESURRECTION OF JESUS.
NICHOLAS: AMEN.
HE'S SO AMAZING.
HE'S SO GOOD.
REBECCA: YEAH.
SO I WANT TO GET INTO YOUR STORY,
BECAUSE I WAS DEFINITELY -- I LOVED IT
AND I WAS SURPRISED HEARING YOUR BACKGROUND.
SO YOU WERE RAISED CATHOLIC MOSTLY.
CAN YOU TALK ABOUT GROWING UP AND STUFF?
NICHOLAS: YEAH, YEAH.
SO I GREW UP, AND BOTH SIDES OF MY FAMILY WERE CATHOLIC.
MY DAD'S, MY MOM'S.
ON MY DAD'S SIDE, I HAVE MULTIPLE GREAT UNCLES
WHO WERE PRIESTS AND MULTIPLE GREAT AUNTS
WHO WERE ACTUALLY NUNS IN THE CATHOLIC FAITH.
SO I GREW UP GOING THROUGH WHAT'S CALLED CCD, FOR ME.
I DIDN'T GO TO AN ACTUAL CATHOLIC GRADE SCHOOL.
SO WE, EVERY SUNDAY, IT WAS ALMOST LIKE SUNDAY SCHOOL
FOR CATHOLICS, BUT YOU LEARN A LOT OF THOSE THINGS,
GO THROUGH FIRST COMMUNION, CONFIRMATION.
A LOT OF THOSE, WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM,
I THINK SACRAMENTS, THINGS LIKE THAT
THAT THEY HAVE PEOPLE GO THROUGH.
SO I WENT THROUGH A LOT OF THAT.
AND I WAS LEARNING A LOT ABOUT GOD,
EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T RETAINING A LOT OF IT,
I KNEW A LOT ABOUT GOD,
BUT I MYSELF WAS NOT LIVING FOR HIM.
I DIDN'T KNOW HIM, I DIDN'T KNOW WHO JESUS WAS.
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW HIM,
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE OUT THAT LIFESTYLE.
AND TO BE HONEST, A LOT OF THE OTHER PEOPLE
IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH THAT I SAW,
THEY WERE COMING ON SUNDAY TO GET THE WARM FUZZIES
OF BASICALLY SAYING I'M A GOOD PERSON
BECAUSE I CAME TO CHURCH,
BUT THEIR LIFESTYLE,
THERE WAS NO CALL FOR CHANGE OR TRANSFORMATION,
EVEN THE GRACE OF GOD TO TRANSFORM AND EMPOWER THEM,
THAT WASN'T THERE.
SO THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I WAS LIVING MY LIFE, AS WELL.
I WAS LIVING ALL FOR THE DEVIL,
BUT JUST BECAUSE I WENT TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY
OR MAYBE BECAUSE I CONFESSED MY SINS AT CONFESSION,
SAID A FEW HAIL MARYS, SAID A FEW OF THE LORD'S PRAYERS.
AND NOW YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.
YOU'VE GOT A TICKET TO HEAVEN.
THAT'S WHAT IT WAS LIKE AROUND ME,
AT LEAST WHEN I WAS BEING RAISED UP AS A CATHOLIC.
REBECCA: KIND OF LIKE CHECKING A BOX.
LIKE, OKAY, I DID MY PART, I'M GOOD TO GO.
BUT INSTEAD OF HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS,
IT'S KNOWING ABOUT GOD, BUT NOT KNOWING HIM PERSONALLY.
AND IT'S NOT ABOUT A SURRENDERED LIFE, LIVING IN COMMUNION
WITH GOD AND OBEDIENCE, IT'S JUST LIKE,
THESE ARE THE THINGS WE DO, AND THEN WE'RE GOOD.
SO IT'S LIKE IT WAS A CULTURAL THING,
NOT SO MUCH A RELATIONAL THING WITH GOD, WOULD YOU SAY?
NICHOLAS: OH, YEAH, DEFINITELY.
DEFINITELY A LOT OF RELIGIOUS DOS AND DON'TS
WITHOUT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND REALLY KNOWING HIM.
REBECCA: DO YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS' DIVORCE
IS PART OF THE REASON WHY YOU STRUGGLED,
OR DO YOU THINK IT WAS JUST THE FRIENDS THAT YOU WERE WITH
GROWING UP OR...
NICHOLAS: THEY GOT DIVORCED WHEN I WAS ABOUT SIX MONTHS OLD.
SO I DIDN'T SEE LIKE A LOT OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED.
THAT DEFINITELY AFFECTED MY LIFE.
GOD HAS A PLAN FOR A FAMILY,
AND DIVORCE ISN'T A PART OF IT.
SO THERE WERE DEFINITELY AREAS OF MY LIFE THAT AFFECTED IT.
ULTIMATELY, IT WAS JUST ME, FREE WILL.
BECAUSE EVEN MY PARENTS WERE TRYING TO POUR INTO ME
FROM BOTH SIDES.
MY MOM, MY DAD, THEY WERE TRYING TO LEAD ME
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, TRYING TO HAVE GOOD RULES
AND DISCIPLINES AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
BUT I JUST WENT MY OWN WAY,
REBELLED AGAINST THEM, AND TRIED TO GO OFF AND DO MY OWN THING.
REBECCA: SO HOW DID YOU FIND JESUS IN THE MIDST OF ALL THAT?
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
IT WAS IN THE PARTY HOUSE WITH SIX GUYS.
I CAN'T REMEMBER THE EXACT DAY,
BUT IT WAS PROBABLY AFTER WE HAD TWO OR THREE DAYS OF PARTYING.
AND I WAS, I THINK IT WAS A SUNDAY EVENING,
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I JUST HIT ROCK BOTTOM.
I WAS GETTING READY FOR BED,
AND JUST THE WEIGHT OF EVERYTHING CAME ON ME.
I WAS IN COLLEGE, THAT OFF THE BAT IS A LOT OF
PRESSURE AND ANXIETY AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
IT CAN BE IF YOU DON'T HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE.
BUT THEN I WAS ALSO DEPRESSED AND ANXIOUS,
HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS BECAUSE OF ALL THE ALCOHOL,
THE DRUGS AND THINGS THAT I WAS TAKING,
IN AND OUT OF BAD RELATIONSHIPS
WHERE THERE'S BETRAYAL GOING ON, EVEN FRIENDS GETTING INVOLVED
IN SOME OF THAT BETRAYAL.
FACING LEGAL CHARGES, AS WELL.
AND MY DAD, WHO WAS TRULY BORN AGAIN
AND ALWAYS TRYING TO LEAD ME TO CHRIST AND TRYING TO HELP ME,
I PRETTY MUCH PUSHED HIM OUT OF MY LIFE
BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO MY OWN THING,
AND HE WAS RESISTANCE AGAINST THAT.
REBECCA: DID YOU FEEL CONVICTION WHEN YOU WERE AROUND YOUR DAD?
NICHOLAS: OH, YEAH, DEFINITELY.
WHEN I WAS AROUND HIM, YEAH,
ANYONE WHO REALLY KNEW JESUS, I FELT CONVICTION.
SO I TRIED TO, HEY, GET OUT OF MY LIFE
SO I CAN DO MY OWN THING AND NOT FEEL GUILTY.
I FEEL LIKE THAT'S WHAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DO.
WE GO TO A LOT OF PRIDE EVENTS.
SO THERE'S LIKE EVEN PARTS OF CITIES WHERE LGBTQ COMMUNITY
GATHERS TOGETHER, AND THAT'S,
I FEEL LIKE IN PART BECAUSE, HEY,
IF WE'RE AROUND THESE PEOPLE,
WE COULD ALMOST HAVE OUR OWN LITTLE WORLD,
AND WE DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY OR SHAME OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
BUT THAT'S JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER SIN IN THE WORLD
WHERE ALCOHOLICS HANG OUT WITH ALCOHOLICS.
POTHEADS HANG OUT WITH POTHEADS.
SO I HAD DONE THAT, PUSHED PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE.
BUT I GOT A PHONE CALL THAT MY DAD,
WHICH WAS REALLY THE ONLY GOOD INFLUENCE --
I WON'T SAY THE ONLY GOOD INFLUENCE,
BUT A MAJOR INFLUENCE IN MY LIFE --
WAS GETTING RUSHED TO THE ER WITH, HE HAD HAD A SEIZURE,
THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHY.
SO THAT ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE;
THE FELONY CHARGE THAT I WAS FACING ON TOP OF EVERYTHING
I EXPLAINED WAS WAY TOO MUCH FOR ME,
AND I JUST HIT ROCK BOTTOM AND STARTED CRYING OUT.
BASICALLY, SOMETHING HAD TO CHANGE.
EITHER I WAS GOING TO END MY LIFE
OR I'M GOING TO GIVE IT TO JESUS.
BASICALLY, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT AT THE TIME,
BUT I HEARD SOMETHING TELLING ME, GO TO CHURCH.
AND THAT WAS REALLY THE ONLY WAY THAT I KNEW
TO COME BACK TO GOD.
AND I STARTED TO DO THAT, AND I WAS ON A JOURNEY
FROM THAT MOMENT FORWARD.
REBECCA: SO GOD -- YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOD,
BUT YOU JUST FELT THIS LIKE THING AND YOU GO TO CHURCH.
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WENT?
WHERE DID YOU GO?
WHICH CHURCH DID YOU KNOW TO GO TO?
BECAUSE WERE YOU IN THE SOUTH AT THE TIME?
NICHOLAS: I WAS, YEAH.
REBECCA: BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF CHURCHES.
NICHOLAS: TONS OF CHURCHES, YEAH.
REBECCA: SO HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
NICHOLAS: AND TONS OF DENOMINATIONS, TOO.
REBECCA: YEAH.
NICHOLAS: WELL, MY DAD, HE WAS -- HE'S A WORSHIP LEADER,
SO HE WAS AT SOME KIND OF CONFERENCE
WHERE MULTIPLE WORSHIP -- GO AHEAD.
REBECCA: WELL, REALLY QUICK,
WE NEED TO CLARIFY THIS, BECAUSE YOU WERE RAISED CATHOLIC,
BUT YOUR DAD WOULD END UP...
NICHOLAS: SO AT SOME POINT,
HIS SISTER WITNESSED TO HIM, HE GOT BORN AGAIN,
HE BROKE OFF FROM THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
AND STARTED GOING TO MORE OF AN EVANGELICAL CHURCH.
A SPIRIT-FILLED CHURCH.
SO I GOT INTRODUCED TO THAT SIDE OF THINGS.
BUT WHEN I HIT AROUND SEVENTH GRADE,
I STARTED TO DRIFT AND GO OFF.
AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS IN BOTH CHURCHES AT THE SAME TIME,
I WASN'T LIVING IT OUT.
REBECCA: YOU WERE LIVING ACCORDING TO YOUR OWN WILL.
NICHOLAS: EXACTLY.
REBECCA: AND YOUR WILL WANTED TO PARTY AND HANG OUT
WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND DO ALL THAT KIND OF STUFF.
NICHOLAS: RIGHT, YEAH.
REBECCA: BUT YOU SAID, SO GOD -- SO YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, AND --
NICHOLAS: WHICH CHURCH DID I GO TO.
REBECCA: YEAH, AND I WAS ASKING,
WHICH CHURCH DID YOU GO TO?
NICHOLAS: OKAY, YEAH.
SO MY DAD WAS AT A CONFERENCE WHERE HE MET
ANOTHER WORSHIP LEADER WHO WAS GOING TO A CHURCH
IN BOWLING GREEN, KENTUCKY,
WHICH IS THE CITY I WAS LIVING IN.
SO HE SET UP THIS MEETING BETWEEN ME AND HIM
AND TOLD THAT GUY, HEY, MY SON USED TO PLAY BASS IN SCHOOL --
OR, SORRY, IN CHURCH WHEN HE WAS LITTLE.
DO YOU NEED A BASS PLAYER?
SO I ENDED UP GOING ON THAT SUNDAY,
RELUCTANTLY, DIDN'T WANT TO GO, MET THIS GUY,
AND HE WAS BASICALLY LIKE, WHEN CAN YOU START?
CAN YOU START ON WEDNESDAY?
SO I WAS LIKE, SURE.
I GUESS.
SO I'M LIVING THIS SINFUL LIFESTYLE.
BUT AT THAT POINT, I HAD ALREADY ATTENDED
A FEW DIFFERENT CHURCHES IN BOWLING GREEN,
JUST SOME CHURCHES THAT MAYBE MY FRIEND HAD SAID,
WHICH WE USED TO GO TO CATHOLIC CHURCH EVERY NOW AND THEN,
EVEN WHILE WE WERE PARTYING ON A SATURDAY EVENING.
SO I TRIED OUT A COUPLE OF CHURCHES,
HADN'T REALLY FOUND A CHURCH HOME,
WAS GOING MAYBE EVERY -- ONCE EVERY THREE WEEKS,
ONCE A MONTH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SO THIS GAVE ME ACCOUNTABILITY,
GAVE ME A COMMITMENT, AND STARTED GOING THERE
TO THAT CHURCH WHERE I REALLY STARTED TO ENCOUNTER GOD
AS I WOULD GO THERE.
MAYBE IT WAS JUST HEARING THE WORSHIP,
I WOULD SENSE GOD'S PEACE OR SENSE HIS PRESENCE,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, SENSE THE LOVE OF GOD.
AND THEN THROUGH PREACHING.
AND THEN THERE WAS OFTENTIMES MINISTRY
THAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS WHERE YOU COULD GO UP FOR PRAYER,
SOMEONE WOULD LAY HANDS ON YOU,
OR IF WE HAD A GUEST SPEAKER AND THEY WOULD MINISTER TO YOU,
WHICH WAS FAIRLY NEW TO ME.
I GREW UP SEEING THAT A LITTLE BIT,
BUT I NEVER REALLY GOT THAT INVOLVED WITH IT.
BUT WHEN MY HEART HAD TURNED TO THE LORD
AND I WAS REALLY SEEKING HIM, THOSE MINISTRY MOMENTS
PLAYED A HUGE, HUGE IMPACT, EVEN IN MY LIFE.
THERE WERE TIMES, I DON'T KNOW IF THE AUDIENCE,
WHAT KIND OF CHURCH THEY GO TO,
BUT THERE WERE TIMES WHERE SOMEONE WOULD PRAY FOR ME,
AND I WOULD JUST REALLY FEEL THIS WEIGHTY PRESENCE OF GOD,
AND THEN I WOULD JUST LAY ON THE FLOOR FOR A WHILE,
TO BE HONEST.
AND IN THOSE MOMENTS,
I REALLY FELT LIKE GOD, IF I COULD JUST PUT AN ANALOGY TO IT,
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE SPIRITUAL SURGERY.
IT FELT LIKE GOD WAS ALMOST LIKE DOING THINGS INSIDE OF ME,
CHANGING THINGS,
WAYS THAT I WAS THINKING, CHANGING THINGS IN MY HEART
AS I WAS JUST THERE ON THE FLOOR,
STAYING AWARE OF HIM AND KEEPING MY MIND UPON HIM,
AND I KNEW THAT GOD WAS DOING SOMETHING IN ME.
I ACTUALLY HAD A VISION ONCE,
THERE WAS A GUEST SPEAKER THAT WAS THERE,
HE WAS AN EVANGELIST, AND HE PRAYED FOR ME.
THAT HAPPENED, AND I HAD A VISION OF LIKE A REVIVAL TENT,
AND I SAW LIKE 10,000, 20,000,
AND THEN 30,000 PEOPLE, AND I FELT LIKE THE LORD
WAS SAYING LIKE, I'M GOING TO BE LIKE THE HEAD OF THIS.
LIKE I'M GOING TO HAVE AUTHORITY OVER THIS.
DON'T TRY TO LET ANY MAN
HAVE AUTHORITY OVER THESE MEETINGS.
I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT COME TO PASS,
THAT VISION COME TO PASS.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS FOR THE MINISTER,
THE GUEST SPEAKER THAT WAS THERE,
IF IT WAS -- IT MAY HAVE BEEN FOR ME, BUT ANYWAYS.
I HAD SOME VISIONS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
IT WAS ALMOST LIKE I FELT ELECTRICITY
GOING THROUGH MY BODY
LIKE DURING THAT VISION.
I CAN'T SAY EXACTLY WHAT GOD WAS DOING INSIDE OF ME.
I JUST KNOW IT WAS HIM, AND IT'S PRODUCING GOOD FRUIT.
SO AS I WAS SEEKING GOD, I JUST HAD MORE AND MORE ENCOUNTERS
WITH HIM, THROUGH MINISTRY,
AND THEN EVEN THROUGH GOING BACK HOME,
AND THEN LEARNING THAT, HEY,
I CAN SPEND TIME WITH GOD, I DON'T HAVE TO JUST GO TO CHURCH
TO HANG OUT WITH HIM.
I CAN ACTUALLY GO HOME AND HANG OUT WITH GOD
AND I CAN PRAISE AND WORSHIP AND THANK HIM,
GET IN HIS PRESENCE AT HOME, GET IN THE WORD, TALK TO HIM.
AND PRAYER BECAME LESS OF A CHECK LIST.
THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO DO.
BUT NOW I'M ACTUALLY TALKING TO HIM.
I CAN MAKE REQUESTS TO HIM.
THIS ISN'T JUST, AH, I'VE GOT TO PRAY,
BUT IT'S LIKE, I GET TO PRAY.
LIKE, THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE,
THE ONE WHO CREATED EVERYTHING,
I GET TO ASK HIM FOR STUFF,
ACCORDING TO HIS WILL?
AND THEN HE ACTUALLY DOES IT.
AND HE WANTS TO HEAR ME AND HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME.
AND THEN I LEARNED HOW, OR THE LORD TAUGHT ME,
HOW TO HEAR HIS VOICE, WHICH HONESTLY
JUST STARTED WITH ME SITTING DOWN AFTER A TIME
OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP AND JUST TAKING TIME TO LISTEN.
AND FOR ME, IT STARTED OUT,
I WOULD JUST SEE MAYBE A PICTURE OF SOMETHING,
LIKE MAYBE A 1 OR 2-SECOND LIKE, BOOM,
GOD SHOWED ME A BUTTERFLY, AND I'M LIKE,
WHY AM I SEEING A BUTTERFLY RIGHT NOW?
AND THEN OVER THE NEXT TWO TO THREE DAYS,
I WOULD SEE GOD, HEY, GOD, WHY DID YOU SHOW ME A BUTTERFLY?
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
AND THEN GOD WOULD GIVE ME A REVELATION,
MAYBE IT WAS HOPE.
I'M BRINGING HOPE INTO YOUR LIFE.
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
I CAN'T REMEMBER EXACTLY A LOT OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED.
BUT THEN GOD WOULD MAYBE SAY A WORD TO ME,
AND THEN I WOULD SEEK HIM.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE LIKE, WELL,
IF GOD'S SPEAKING TO YOU, SURELY YOU'RE GOING TO
KNOW WHAT HE MEANS.
BUT HONESTLY, WITH PETER UP ON THE ROOFTOP,
WHEN HE HAS THE VISION AND THE LORD LOWERS DOWN
THAT GREAT SHEET WITH ALL THE ANIMALS,
IT SAYS PETER WAS PONDERING, LIKE,
HE WAS WONDERING, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
AND THEN AS HE ACTUALLY OBEYED GOD,
AS HE ACTUALLY LISTENED TO THE LEANING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT,
WHICH WAS GO DOWN WITH THESE MEN AND THEN GO WITH HIM,
THEN HE FOUND OUT, HEY,
THAT'S WHAT THAT VISION MEANT WHEN HE WAS OVER
AT CORNELIUS' HOUSE, AND NOW ALL THESE PEOPLE
ARE GETTING BORN AGAIN AND FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
AND BAPTIZED IN WATER.
HE REALIZED WHAT GOD WAS SPEAKING.
SO A LOT OF TIMES, EVEN IN THE SECRET PLACE,
AS EVERYONE ELSE IS SEEKING GOD AND HE'S SPEAKING TO THEM,
WE MIGHT NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS RIGHT OFF THE BAT,
BUT AS WE CONTINUE TO OBEY HIM AND FOLLOW HIS LEAD,
HE'S GOING TO REVEAL IT.
SO IT EXPANDED FROM JUST A PICTURE OR A WORD
TO THEN ACTUALLY HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD,
ACTUALLY HEARING HIM SPEAK TO ME,
WHO HE'S MADE ME TO BE AS HIS SON.
JUST HEARING GOD SAYING, MY SON, I LOVE YOU.
JUST THINGS LIKE THAT.
OR MY DAUGHTER, I LOVE YOU.
I'VE CALLED YOU FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS.
DIFFERENT THINGS THAT GOD WILL SPEAK OVER OUR LIFE.
OR I'VE CALLED YOU TO PREACH THE GOSPEL
WHERE MY GLORY IS UPON YOU.
DIFFERENT THINGS THAT GOD MAY SPEAK INTO OUR LIVES,
EVEN THE LOVING CORRECTION
THAT THE LORD MAY SPEAK INTO OUR LIFE
TO BUILD US UP,
TO HELP US TO MATURE IN CHRIST.
IT REALLY CHANGED EVERYTHING FOR ME.
THE LORD SPOKE TO ME RECENTLY
AND SAID MY VOICE CHANGES EVERYTHING.
AND IF WE THINK ABOUT IT,
HE CREATED EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD
BY SPEAKING.
AND JUST FOR HIM TO SPEAK ONE WORD TO US CAN
LITERALLY CHANGE EVERYTHING IN OUR LIVES.
REBECCA: I LOVE THAT YOU JUST GAVE THAT JOURNEY
OF GOD TEACHING YOU HOW TO HEAR HIS VOICE,
BECAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE WANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT,
AND I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS SUCH A GREAT WAY TO JUST
SIMPLY EXPLAIN YOUR OWN JOURNEY AND HOW GOD WORKS.
GOD IS SO AMAZING,
AND IT'S SUCH A GREAT THING WHEN YOU SHIFT FROM
THIS PERSON THAT YOU HEAR ABOUT TO KNOWING HIM
PERSONALLY AND THEN YOU GET FILLED WITH THE AWE
AND WONDER OF GOD AND YOU REALIZE HOW MAJESTIC HE IS,
HIS GLORY, AND THAT HE'S OUR FATHER
AND HE LOVES US, AND IT SHIFTS EVERYTHING.
I REMEMBER EVEN FOR ME,
I USED TO NOT LIKE PRAYER UNTIL PRAYER WENT FROM
BEING THIS RELIGIOUS ACTIVITY TO ME TALKING TO GOD
AND GOD TALKING BACK TO ME.
AND LIKE YOU SAID, IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE TO PRAY,
I GET TO PRAY.
AND IT'S ONE OF OUR GREATEST PRIVILEGES
AS BELIEVERS.
AND SO, YEAH, THE RELATIONSHIP ASPECT SHIFTS
EVERYTHING, AND FOR ME PERSONALLY THAT IS MY
TESTIMONY AS WELL, FROM BEING RAISED IN CHURCH
TO ACTUALLY LEARNING HOW TO HAVE - SURRENDERING MY
LIFE AT 19 AND LEARNING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
AND HOW IT NOT ONLY CHANGED EVERYTHING,
BUT IT WAS LIKE FOUNDATIONAL IN MY LIFE.
AND I REMEMBER GOD SPEAKING TO ME WHEN I WAS
IN BIBLE SCHOOL, AND HE SAID,
BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO PREPARE FOR MINISTRY,
AND HE SAID, EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED FOR LIFE AND
MINISTRY WILL COME FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.
SO FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ME.
AND IT'S THAT JOHN 17, ABIDE IN ME AND I WILL ABIDE -
NOT JOHN 17, JOHN 15, ABIDE IN ME AND I WILL
ABIDE IN YOU.
AND SO THAT IS SO FOUNDATIONAL FOR EVERY BELIEVER.
BUT WHAT BREAKS MY HEART IS SO MANY PEOPLE
EITHER DON'T UNDERSTAND IT OR IT'S NOT BEING TAUGHT
IN CHURCHES.
IT REALLY ISN'T.
AND SO I THINK IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE.
SO THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT WITH OUR AUDIENCE,
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU SHARED IT IN SUCH A LIKE
EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND WAY, AND I JUST LOVE THAT.
BECAUSE SOMETIMES PEOPLE CAN MAKE IT A LITTLE,
I DON'T KNOW, IT'S JUST VERY GROUNDED,
AND I LIKE THAT.
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
YOU SAID SOMETHING THAT'S SO IMPORTANT.
YOU SAID SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF BASICALLY
A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME IS ALL YOU NEED.
AND THAT'S SOMETHING THAT THE LORD HAS REVEALED
TO ME, AS WELL, WHICH IS JESUS SAID, WHEN YOU PRAY,
GO INTO THE ROOM, SHUT THE DOOR,
AND YOU'RE IN SECRET, AND ALL THOSE THINGS.
SO THAT'S WHERE WE GET THE WORD, SECRET PLACE.
BUT I'VE SEEN EVEN IN MY OWN LIFE EVERYTHING -
EVERY GOOD FRUIT THAT'S BEEN PRODUCED,
EVERYTHING THAT'S OF VALUE IN MY LIFE HAS REALLY
COME OUT OF THE SECRET PLACE, HAS REALLY COME OUT OF
JUST BEING ALONE WITH GOD IN AN INTIMATE WAY,
TALKING WITH HIM, GETTING TO KNOW WHO HE IS.
BECAUSE THE GOD THAT WE'RE READING ABOUT IN THE SCRIPTURES
ON THE PAGES, IT'S LIKE WE CAN READ
ABOUT JESUS, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT CAN GIVE US
REVELATION OF WHO JESUS IS FROM THE SCRIPTURES,
BUT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST READING THE
SCRIPTURES BECAUSE HE SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT, RIGHT.
WE HAVE THE SCRIPTURES, BUT WE ALSO HAVE
THE HOLY SPIRIT.
AND WE CAN ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE WHO HE IS,
AND THEN FROM THAT PLACE OF REALLY KNOWING HIM,
FROM VIEWING THE SCRIPTURES FROM THE PERSPECTIVE
OF THAT INTERACTION IN THE SECRET PLACE,
IT CHANGES EVERYTHING IN A GOOD WAY.
I DON'T WANT THAT TO SOUND HERETICAL.
IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
IT JUST MAKES THE BIBLE COME ALIVE.
REBECCA: YEAH, AND IT IS LIVING.
HIS WORD IS LIVING.
NICHOLAS: EXACTLY.
REBECCA: AND YOU'RE HITTING ON SUCH AN
IMPORTANT POINT, WHICH IS THAT JESUS,
HE TOLD HIS DISCIPLES, HE SAYS, I'M GOING AWAY,
BUT I'M SENDING MY HOLY SPIRIT,
WHICH LITERALLY IN THE GREEK,
IT MEANS PARAKLETOS, WHICH IS ONE WHO IS JUST LIKE ME.
IT'S THE SPIRIT OF JESUS, RIGHT.
HE'S SENDING HIS HOLY SPIRIT TO US TO LEAD US,
TO COMFORT US, TO GUIDE US.
AND SO THE HOLY SPIRIT IS A PERSON THAT IS VERY
MISUNDERSTOOD IN THE CHURCH OR VERY JUST NOT KNOWN,
BUT THE HOLY SPIRIT IS WHO IS ON THE EARTH NOW.
JESUS IS IN HEAVEN, BUT THE HOLY SPIRIT,
WHEN WE GET SAVED, HE COMES AND LIVES INSIDE OF US
AND IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
AND SO IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU CAN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
AND THE HOLY SPIRIT GIVES US REVELATION
AND EVEN SAYS THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT SEARCHES THE DEEP
THINGS OF GOD AND THEN REVEALS GOD TO US.
IT SAYS THAT IN ROMANS.
AND SO THIS MYSTERIOUS THING DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE MYSTERIOUS.
WE CAN KNOW HIM.
AND SO I FEEL LIKE YOU JUST BROKE - ONCE AGAIN,
YOU BROKE THAT DOWN I THINK IN AN
EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND KIND OF WAY, AND DEMYSTIFIED,
BECAUSE GOD IS HOLY, BUT HE'S ALSO PERSONAL,
AND WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE HIM A MYSTERY.
HE'S HERE FOR US TO KNOW.
AND EVEN WHEN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW GOD
TAUGHT YOU HOW TO HEAR HIS VOICE AND HOW GOD WOULD
LIKE GIVE YOU A PICTURE, YOU SAID SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT,
WHICH I DIDN'T LEARN THIS UNTIL LATER IN LIFE.
YEAH.
SO WHEN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW GOD WOULD GIVE YOU
LIKE A LITTLE MORSEL AND THEN GOD IS INVITING
YOU IN.
AND SO MANY PEOPLE, THEY'LL HEAR FROM GOD,
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW THAT GOD'S INVITING THEM IN TO
DRAW CLOSER TO HIM IN RELATIONSHIP,
OR FOR HIM TO REVEAL MORE OF WHAT HE'S SHOWING,
BUT HE'S INVITING HIM INTO ALMOST LIKE A TREASURE HUNT
OR LIKE A JOURNEY.
AND SO THAT VERSE IS IN PROVERBS 25:2, WHICH SAYS,
IT'S THE GLORY OF GOD TO CONCEAL THINGS,
BUT THE GLORY OF KINGS TO SEARCH IT OUT.
SO WE HAVE THIS PRIVILEGE THAT GOD'S GIVEN US THE
ABILITY TO GO FURTHER INTO HIM AND FOR HIM TO REVEAL
MYSTERIES AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO US.
NICHOLAS: AMEN, YEAH.
REBECCA: I THINK THAT'S REALLY COOL.
NICHOLAS: THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO GOD,
EVEN WITH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
I'LL HEAR THE LORD SPEAK TO ME AND SAY,
COME CLOSER.
OR I REALLY FEEL LIKE HE'S DRAWING ME INTO THE SECRET PLACE
MORE AND MORE IN CERTAIN SEASONS OF MY LIFE
AND DRAWING ME DEEPER INTO THE WORD.
AND REALLY I THINK THERE'S SO MUCH - OR I KNOW -
THAT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE.
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE WE, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I CAN GET, IT'S TEMPTING TO GET
SPIRITUALLY PRIDEFUL AND THINK, OH,
I KNOW QUITE A BIT, THIS AND THAT.
PAUL SAID IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW ANYTHING,
YOU KNOW NOTHING AS YOU OUGHT.
BUT THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS IN THE SCRIPTURES.
FOR INSTANCE, ME AND MY COUSIN WERE ACTUALLY
TALKING ABOUT THIS RECENTLY BUT PHILIP,
WHEN HE BAPTIZED THE EUNUCH,
IT SAYS IMMEDIATELY HE WAS CAUGHT AWAY.
STUFF LIKE THAT, STUFF JESUS,
HE WAS WALKING ON THE WATER,
HE WAS DETERMINED TO PASS THE BOAT BY,
AND THE DISCIPLES WERE ON THE BOAT IN THE STORM
AND THEY'RE STRUGGLING BECAUSE THE WIND IS AGAINST THEM.
AND THEN JESUS COMES INTO THE BOAT AND IMMEDIATELY
SAYS THE BOAT WAS AT THE OTHER SIDE.
SO THERE ARE THESE THINGS IN THE SCRIPTURES WHERE
PEOPLE HAD FAITH, EVEN THE DEAD BEING RAISED UP.
I'VE NEVER SEEN THE DEAD BE RAISED.
WITH A MUSTARD SEED OF FAITH,
YOU CAN SEE MOUNTAINS BE MOVED.
BUT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE ABOUT GOD,
EVEN THE BOOK OF REVELATION MAKES ME WONDER
AT TIMES SOME OF THE PROPHETIC IMAGERY THAT'S
GIVEN THERE, AND IT'S LIKE YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THESE
THINGS WITHOUT THE WISDOM OF GOD.
AND THEN IT GIVES THE INTERPRETATION,
AND IT'S LIKE, WHAT?
YOU GOT THAT FROM THAT?
AND IT'S LIKE, I REALLY GOT TO SEEK GOD MORE DEEPER
TO GET TO KNOW HIM MORE.
BUT HE'S SO VAST AND SO AMAZING,
EVEN FOR THE 24 ELDERS AND THE FOUR LIVING CREATURES
THAT CRY OUT, HOLY, HOLY, HOLY.
FOR ALL OF ETERNITY, NIGHT AND DAY,
THEY NEVER STOP CEASING, HOLY, HOLY, HOLY
IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY.
SO WE'RE NEVER GOING TO EXPERIENCE GOD TO THE POINT
WHERE LIKE, OKAY, I'VE GOT THIS.
I'VE EXPERIENCED HIM, I KNOW HIM.
BUT WE CAN LITERALLY, OUR WHOLE LIFE,
WE'RE GOING TO BE ON A JOURNEY OF KNOWING HIM
MORE AND MORE.
AND THERE'S A SCRIPTURE THAT SAYS,
HE'S A REWARDER OF THOSE WHO DILIGENTLY SEEK HIM.
REBECCA: YEAH, IN HEBREWS.
NICHOLAS: AMEN.
REBECCA: I LOVE THAT VERSE.
NICHOLAS: AND I WANT TO DILIGENTLY SEEK HIM
TO KNOW WHO HE IS.
THE BIBLE SAYS THAT HE'S OUR REWARD.
WE'RE HIS REWARD.
SO TO REALLY ENTER INTO THAT PLACE TO KNOW HIM MORE.
I CAN EVEN SENSE HIM RIGHT NOW,
HE'S DRAWING US AND EVERYONE WHO IS WATCHING THIS,
HE'S DRAWING US CLOSER TO HIS HEART
TO KNOW HIM MORE.
AND JUST ONE WORD.
LITERALLY, JUST ONE WORD FROM HIM CAN CHANGE
ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, CAN CHANGE OUR LIFE COMPLETELY,
CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING, JUST ONE WORD FROM GOD.
SO TO REALLY TAKE THAT TIME TO DILIGENTLY SEEK HIM,
TO TAKE THAT TIME TO LISTEN TO HIS VOICE,
TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE BUSYNESS OF LIFE,
GET AWAY FROM THE MARTHA MENTALITY AND GO
LIKE MARY DID AND SIT AT HIS FEET.
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD THAT CAN
COMPARE TO BEING WITH HIM AND KNOWING HIM AND
LISTENING TO HIS VOICE
AND JUST SPENDING TIME WITH HIM.
REBECCA: THAT'S SO TRUE.
AND WHAT I LOVE IS THAT EVEN IN YOUR STORY, LIKE
YOU HAD THESE POWERFUL ENCOUNTERS WITH GOD THAT
SHIFTED EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE, WHICH,
SO YOU STARTED - I WANT TO GET BACK INTO THE STORY.
SO YOU GO INTO THE CHURCH, YOU'RE LEARNING TO HEAR
THE VOICE OF GOD.
WHEN DO YOU COME TO THE POINT OF
FULLY SURRENDERING?
BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL IN COLLEGE,
YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT YOUR PATH.
I TOTALLY REMEMBER WHEN I WAS ON THAT JOURNEY.
I THINK SO MANY PEOPLE LISTENING,
IF THEY'RE IN COLLEGE OR ABOUT TO GO TO COLLEGE,
THAT'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGURE ALL THAT OUT.
YOU'RE LIKE, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE
AND LIKE WHAT DEGREE DO I PICK?
SO YOU'RE LIKE SORTING THINGS OUT THERE.
SO HOW DID YOU GET ON THE PATH THAT YOU WERE ON NOW?
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
SO AS I WAS GOING TO THE CHURCH THAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT,
AND HAVING SOME OF THOSE ENCOUNTERS,
BACK UP QUITE A FEW OF THOSE ENCOUNTERS,
AND ONE OF THE, I GUESS MOST POWERFUL ENCOUNTERS
THAT I HAD WITH THE LORD OF HIM REVEALING HIMSELF TO ME,
I WAS KINDA ONE FOOT IN AND ONE FOOT OUT.
I WAS TRYING TO STOP SINNING, RIGHT.
I WAS REPENTANT IN HEART BUT STILL IN A PARTY HOUSE
WITH SIX GUYS WHERE PARTIES ARE
HAPPENING CONSTANTLY.
SO FOR ME, IT WAS LIKE THIS TEMPTATION WAS
CONSTANTLY IN FRONT OF MY FACE.
AND THE LORD WAS TEACHING ME TO SAY NO.
AND THERE WERE TIMES WHERE I WOULD SAY NO AND THEN
THERE WERE TIMES WHERE I WOULD GIVE IN TO
CONTINUING IN THAT LIFESTYLE OF SIN.
SO I WAS PROBABLY HALF-IN, HALF-OUT.
HALF THE TIME, HEY, I WAS HANGING OUT WITH MY
CHRISTIAN FRIENDS, GOING TO CHURCH.
HALF THE TIME, I GET SUCKED BACK IN TO HANG OUT
WITH MY FRATERNITY BROTHERS AND ALL THOSE THINGS.
SO I WAS AT A FRATERNITY PARTY,
IT WAS CALLED BIG BROTHER NIGHT,
AND IT WAS JUST THE GUYS, WE WOULD GATHER TOGETHER,
IT'S WHEN SOMEONE OLDER IN THE FRATERNITY
TAKES YOU UNDER THEIR WING.
SO WE HAD GONE OUT, MY BIG BROTHER HAD BOUGHT ME
A FIFTH OF WHISKEY, I WAS SUPPOSED TO DRINK IT ALL,
WE WERE SMOKING WEED.
THEY ORDERED STRIPPERS TO COME OVER TO THIS PARTY HOUSE,
AND SOMEONE PITCHED UP AN EXTRA 500 BUCKS,
AND THINGS HAPPENED THAT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.
AND THAT WAS A TUESDAY EVENING.
THE NEXT DAY ON WEDNESDAY, I WENT TO CHURCH,
AND THERE WAS A PROPHET THAT WAS THERE,
WHICH I WAS SUPER SKEPTICAL ABOUT THAT
UP TO THAT POINT, BUT HE PREACHED A MESSAGE,
AND THEN AT THE END OF THAT,
HE INVITED PEOPLE TO COME FORWARD
AND TO RECEIVE MINISTRY.
SO HE STARTED DOWN HERE AT THE END OF A PRAYER LINE,
AND I'M ALL THE WAY OVER HERE.
AND HE STARTS GIVING ENCOURAGING MESSAGES,
GOD'S GOT AN AMAZING PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE,
THIS AND THAT.
SO I'M SITTING THERE ASHAMED AND GUILTY,
KNOWING WHAT I DID THE NIGHT BEFORE,
BUT TRYING TO GET SOME RELIEF.
I CAME TO CHURCH BECAUSE I'M LIKE,
UH, I'VE GOT TO ESCAPE THIS GUILT.
I'VE GOT TO ESCAPE THIS SHAME.
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.
SO HE GETS TO ME, AND I'M, AT THIS POINT, I'M LIKE,
OKAY, THIS GUY'S GOING TO SAY SOMETHING REALLY
ENCOURAGING AND FLUFFY AND NICE.
AND HE GETS TO ME, AND HE GOES TO TALK,
AND THEN HE STOPPED, AND THEN HE JUST SIGHED.
AND HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER AND HE SAID,
YOU'VE SEEN SOME THINGS VERY RECENTLY THAT YOU
SHOULD HAVE NEVER SEEN.
AND THAT WAS LIKE THE DEVIL TYING A ROPE
AROUND YOUR NECK.
BUT I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT GOD IS SETTING YOU FREE,
BUT YOU NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL THAT YOU NEVER
SEE THOSE THINGS AGAIN BECAUSE SOMETIMES
THE DEVIL WILL DOUBLE-KNOT THE ROPE THE SECOND TIME,
BUT GOD IS SETTING YOU FREE.
AND THEN HE MOVED ON.
AND I WAS JUST LEFT THERE AS HE MOVES ON TO THESE
OTHER PEOPLE WITH THIS FEAR BUT PEACE
AT THE SAME TIME.
A HEALTHY FEAR, NOT A BONDAGE KIND OF FEAR,
BUT A HEALTHY FEAR OF THE LORD OF, HEY,
I HAD THE DEVIL'S ROPE AROUND MY NECK
BECAUSE OF WHAT I JUST DID LAST NIGHT,
AND I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK INTO THAT.
I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE TO DO THOSE THINGS.
BUT ALSO, THERE'S SUCH A PEACE THAT, HEY,
GOD KNOWS ME.
THERE'S SUCH SECURITY AND PEACE IN EVEN KNOWING THAT
A HUNDRED PERCENT, HE'S REAL.
AND THAT HE CARES ABOUT ME.
HE LOVES ME.
THAT HE'S MERCIFUL.
THAT HE JUST SET ME FREE FROM THE BAD DECISION
THAT I JUST MADE THE NIGHT BEFORE.
I WAS ACTUALLY READING NOT TOO LONG AGO IN THE BIBLE,
AND IT WAS SPEAKING OF, HE'S TAKEN MANY PEOPLE CAPTIVE.
HE'S LIKE CAUGHT - THE DEVIL HAS CAUGHT MANY PEOPLE
CAPTIVE IN A SNARE TO DO HIS WILL.
AND THAT WORD, THAT GREEK WORD, SNARE,
ACTUALLY CAN REPRESENT A NOOSE,
WHICH IS PERFECTLY WHAT THE DEVIL HAD AROUND MY NECK
THAT THE PROPHET CALLED OUT.
AND THAT JUST HIT ME LIKE A FEW WEEKS AGO,
AND I WAS LOOKING AT THAT GREEK WORD.
BUT THAT MOMENT WAS A HUGE MOMENT FOR ME IN NEVER DOUBTING
IF GOD WAS REAL AGAIN AND KNOWING HIS
TRUE CHARACTER TOWARDS ME AND HIS LOVE TOWARDS ME;
THAT HE WASN'T JUST WAITING TO STRIKE ME DOWN
WITH A FIRE BOLT, THAT HE WASN'T JUST ANGRY AND MAD
AT ME OR SCOLDING ME AND SENDING ME AWAY.
BUT HE WAS ACTUALLY SETTING ME FREE AND
WELCOMING ME TO HIM AND GIVING ME THIS LOVING WARNING
OF DON'T GO BACK INTO THAT.
AND FROM THAT MOMENT MOVING FORWARD
IN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, IT WAS REALLY JUST,
IT'S SIMILAR TO A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FRIEND
IN THE SENSE OF, WHEN YOU FIRST MEET A FRIEND,
THERE ARE PROBABLY MANY PEOPLE THAT ARE WATCHING
RIGHT NOW THAT HAVE A BEST FRIEND.
WHEN YOU FIRST MET THAT FRIEND,
WHETHER IT WAS IN SCHOOL OR AT WORK,
WHEREVER IT MIGHT BE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW HIM AT ALL, RIGHT.
THERE'S SOME SMALL TALK, MAYBE IT WAS A LITTLE BIT
AWKWARD, MAYBE YOU HIT IT OFF THE BAT RIGHT AT FIRST.
BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW EACH OTHER.
AND THEN FAST-FORWARD FIVE YEARS DOWN THE ROAD,
TEN YEARS DOWN THE ROAD, NOW THAT YOU'VE HUNG OUT,
YOU'VE SPENT TIME TOGETHER,
YOU WERE SITTING ON THE COUCH EATING POPCORN
WATCHING A MOVIE TOGETHER, ALL THOSE THINGS THAT
FRIENDS DO, NOW YOU KNOW THEM SO MUCH MORE
THAN YOU DID BEFORE.
AND FAST-FORWARD ANOTHER TEN YEARS,
YOU'RE GOING TO KNOW THEM SO MUCH MORE THEN.
SO IT'S BEEN THIS JOURNEY WITH GOD OF GETTING TO
KNOW HIM MORE AND MORE, EVEN ON A DAILY BASIS.
AND MOST FRIENDSHIPS, THE WAY YOU GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER,
IS SPENDING TIME TOGETHER.
SO IN SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME WITH HIM,
IT'S BEEN THIS JOURNEY OF JUST GETTING TO KNOW HIM
AND THEN ALLOWING HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF TO THOSE
WHO ARE AROUND US.
REBECCA: AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THAT STORY
IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THE PROPHETIC IS THAT
GOD WORKS THROUGH A PERSON TO BASICALLY LET THAT PERSON
WHO'S RECEIVING THE PROPHETIC MINISTRY KNOW
THAT HE SEES THEM, THAT HE LOVES THEM,
HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE THEY'RE AT.
BUT ALSO THAT HE CAN WARN AND GUIDE THROUGH THE
PROPHETIC, AS WELL.
AND IT WAS ONE OF THOSE LIFE-CHANGING MOMENTS,
A DEFINING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU REALIZE,
I AM NOT GOING - WERE YOU LIKE,
I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ONE FOOT IN AND ONE FOOT OUT
ANYMORE AFTER THAT POINT, OR TAKE A LITTLE BIT MORE?
NICHOLAS: YES.
THAT WAS A BIG STEP FORWARD AND GAVE ME A LOT
OF COURAGE TO START SAYING NO.
I CAN'T SAY FROM THAT MOMENT FORWARD I NEVER
DRANK ANOTHER DRINK OF ALCOHOL OR NEVER DID
ANYTHING AGAIN.
I DID HAVE A SUMMER THAT I BACKSLID,
WHEN I GOT AWAY FROM CHURCH,
WHEN I GOT AWAY FROM THOSE CHRISTIAN FRIENDS
THAT I WAS AROUND.
I ACTUALLY MOVED FROM BOWLING GREEN UP TO
LOUISVILLE TO WORK FOR A SUMMER.
GOT AROUND SOME OLD FRIENDS,
WHICH THE BIBLE SAYS BAD COMPANY CORRUPTS GOOD MORALS.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
I GOT BACK IN WITH OLD FRIENDS.
AND I WAS ACTUALLY WITNESSING TO THEM,
I WAS TALKING TO THEM ABOUT JESUS.
BUT THAT BAD COMPANY CORRUPTED THE GOOD MORALS,
AND I GOT SUCKED IN AND BACKSLID.
BUT THEN THE PRODIGAL SON STORY,
THE LORD WELCOMED ME BACK IN,
AND I HAVEN'T SLID BACK SINCE THEN, PRAISE GOD.
THAT WAS PROBABLY 11 YEARS AGO, ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO.
REBECCA: DO YOU THINK THAT WHEN YOU WENT OUT
FOR THAT SUMMER AND YOU FELL BACK INTO THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE,
DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU, LIKE THE PRODIGAL,
WHEN YOU CAME HOME, YOU'RE LIKE, OKAY,
MY LIFE REALLY IS FULLY YOURS?
NICHOLAS: MM-HM.
YEAH, YEAH, DEFINITELY.
JUST FOR GOD TO WELCOME ME BACK IN, IT HONESTLY FELT,
NOW THAT I'M THINKING ABOUT IT,
IT FELT LIKE COMING HOME.
BECAUSE I CAME BACK TO COLLEGE AND I GOT BACK
INTO CAMPUS MINISTRY.
AND THERE WAS A LITTLE BIT OF SHAME THAT HAD TO BE
BROKEN OFF OF ME, OBVIOUSLY,
LIKE GETTING BACK IN WITH MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
IN CHRIST, GETTING BACK INTO, WE HAD WORSHIP MEETINGS
ON CAMPUS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
SO IT FELT A LITTLE BIT LIKE CAN I REALLY BE HERE
BECAUSE OF THE SHAME?
REBECCA: THE DEVIL USES SHAME TO TRY TO KEEP YOU
FROM GOD AND WHAT HE'S CALLED YOU TO DO.
LIKE, OH, YOU CAN'T BE HERE, YOU MESSED UP.
SO HE TRIES TO ENSNARE YOU,
AND THEN HE USES THE GUILT OF THE SIN TO PARALYZE YOU.
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
TO TRY TO KEEP US AWAY.
IT'S LIKE A VIPER, THE VENOM,
TRY TO PARALYZE YOU.
BUT QUICKLY, THAT WAS BROKEN OFF,
THAT SHAME WAS BROKEN OFF, PROBABLY THROUGH EVEN
MINISTRY FROM PEERS, THAT THERE WAS SOME OLDER PEOPLE
WHO WERE IN THE MINISTRY WHO PROBABLY
SPOKE PROPHETIC WORDS.
AND I'M TRYING TO REMEMBER PERFECTLY.
BUT THERE'S DEFINITELY SOME MINISTRY AND THINGS
LIKE THAT THAT WENT ON WHERE THAT SHAME WAS
BROKEN OFF AND IT FELT LIKE I WAS HOME AGAIN,
JUST LIKE JUMPING BACK IN WITH THE LORD'S WILL
AND HIS PLAN FOR MY LIFE.
I'M NOT ENCOURAGING SIN AT ALL,
I'M JUST ENCOURAGING THE MERCY AND THE COMPASSION
OF GOD IN WELCOMING HIS CHILDREN BACK HOME
WHEN THEY'RE TRULY REPENTANT WITH A HEART OF,
I DON'T WANT TO KEEP DOING THAT.
DAD, I WANT TO COME HOME.
REBECCA: NO.
I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY HITTING A REALLY
IMPORTANT POINT, WHICH IS THAT GOD IS WORKING IN OUR LIVES
AND HE'S GRACIOUS AND HE'S MERCIFUL.
AND I HAVE LIKE A SIMILAR TESTIMONY WHERE GOD KEPT
SPEAKING TO ME, AND I WAS HAVING ENCOUNTERS,
AND THEN I FINALLY GOT TO A POINT.
BUT I STRUGGLED BACK AND FORTH WITH MY FRIENDS AND
MY OWN STUFF, SO I TOTALLY KNOW WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM,
BUT THERE WAS A MOMENT WHERE IT WAS LIKE,
OKAY, PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN, I SURRENDER MY LIFE,
AND I'M WILLING TO GO ALL IN AND DO WHATEVER
YOU WANT ME TO DO.
AND THAT'S WHEN THINGS REALLY SHIFTED,
AND THEN THE INFLUENCE OF OTHERS.
BUT YOU HAVE TO LOSE SOME THINGS,
YOU SACRIFICE SOME THINGS, YOU SHIFT THINGS AROUND,
BUT YOU'RE LIKE, MY LIFE IS YOURS.
WHICH SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU
WITH THE COMPUTER.
NICHOLAS: YEAH, YEAH.
REBECCA: SO WAS THAT AFTER WHEN YOU CAME BACK?
NICHOLAS: IT WAS, YEAH.
REBECCA: OKAY, TELL THAT STORY.
NICHOLAS: SO IT WAS AFTER I CAME BACK.
THAT'S ACTUALLY ONE OF THE CONFIRMATIONS I HAD
BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO SCHOOL TO BE A FINANCIAL PLANNER,
BUT WHILE I WAS LIVING FOR GOD BEFORE I BACKSLID,
I WAS REALLY WRESTLING ON THE INSIDE.
AND I JUST FELT LIKE I'M STUDYING FOR SOMETHING
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO USE.
I'M NOT GOING TO DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
SO I WAS REALLY WRESTLING WITH IT THE SUMMER
THAT I BACKSLID.
I GOT REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT FINANCIAL PLANNING,
SUPER EXCITED, PUMPED UP ABOUT IT, LET'S GO.
CAME BACK TO SCHOOL, GOT BACK IN WITH MY
CHRISTIAN FRIENDS AT CAMPUS MINISTRY,
THE LOCAL CHURCH, AND STARTED WRESTLING
AND STRUGGLING REALLY BAD.
SO I WAS PROBABLY TWO-THIRDS OF THE WAY
THROUGH MY SEMESTER AND I WAS DOWN IN THE LIBRARY
ALONE BY MYSELF STUDYING, AND IT JUST
BECAME OVERWHELMING.
AND I TOLD GOD, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS
FOR ANOTHER SECOND.
IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DO THIS,
IF THIS ISN'T YOUR WILL, I DON'T WANT TO WASTE
ANOTHER MOMENT, GOD, I NEED YOU TO LET ME KNOW.
AND I COULD FEEL THE PRESENCE OF GOD LIKE
REALLY THICK IN THE AIR.
I HAD MY LAPTOP OPEN BECAUSE I WAS STUDYING.
AND I JUST STARTED WRITING IN AN OPEN DOCUMENT,
AND GOT ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE BOTTOM,
DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE WHAT I WAS TYPING, HAD NO IDEA,
AND THEN IT WAS LIKE THE FLOW JUST STOPPED,
AND IT WAS LIKE, OKAY, I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING ELSE TO TYPE.
SO I STARTED READING OVER WHAT I HAD JUST TYPED,
AND IT WAS GOD GIVING ME INSTRUCTIONS FOR
THE NEXT YEAR OF MY LIFE.
A COUPLE OF THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE
STUDY THE WORD, JUST LIKE YOU'VE BEEN STUDYING
YOUR TEXTBOOKS FOR COLLEGE, AND IT HAD TO DO WITH
EVANGELISM; STARTING TO GO OUT AND SHARE MY FAITH
AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
SO THAT GAVE ME, YEAH, INSTRUCTIONS FOR THAT NEXT YEAR,
AND THEN THE JOURNEY JUST CONTINUED ON AND ON.
REBECCA: THAT IS JUST SUCH A CRAZY STORY,
BECAUSE YOU BASICALLY WERE LIKE AT A MOMENT
OF DECISION, AND THEN YOU SAID, OKAY, GOD,
YOU WERE LIKE, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DO THIS,
I WON'T STUDY THIS FOR ANOTHER SECOND LONGER,
AND YOU WERE LIKE FULLY OPEN TO WHATEVER HE WANTED,
AND THEN YOU GOT LIKE A DOWNLOAD FROM HEAVEN,
DO YOU REALIZE THAT?
AND YOU LIKE WORKED THROUGH YOU,
AND THEN YOU HAD LIKE THESE INSTRUCTIONS.
THAT'S LIKE ONE OF THE COOLEST STORIES EVER.
NICHOLAS: YEAH, PRAISE GOD.
REBECCA: SO WHAT DID - SO AFTER THAT,
WHAT WERE YOUR NEXT STEPS?
I HAVE TO COMMEND YOU BECAUSE THAT'S A BIG
STEP OF FAITH, WHAT YOU DID AFTERWARDS.
BUT IT WAS IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD.
NICHOLAS: AMEN, AMEN, IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD,
FOLLOWING HIS LEAD.
YEAH, I JUST DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE.
I DIDN'T TAKE ANYMORE TESTS,
DIDN'T DO ANYMORE HOMEWORK.
WHICH, HONESTLY WAS A GREAT RELIEF FOR ME.
AND HONESTLY LOOKING BACK, IT WAS A GOOD
BRIDGE-BURNER BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING TO GO BACK TO.
IT WAS LIKE THE ISRAELITES GOT LED OUT OF EGYPT,
AND THEN SOME OF THEM WERE LIKE, HEY, LET'S GO BACK.
BUT IT WAS A BRIDGE-BURNER TO WHERE
I REALLY COULDN'T GO BACK.
MAYBE I COULD HAVE, BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
A STRUGGLE TO GO BACK.
BUT, YEAH, I CONTINUED ON.
AND HONESTLY, THE BIBLE TALKS A LOT ABOUT
YOU HAVE NEED OF ENDURANCE TO CONTINUE IN THE FAITH.
THERE ARE STORIES OF RUNNING YOUR RACE,
WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T,
LIKE A RACE ISN'T SOMETHING YOU START
AND THEN YOU GET A TROPHY.
LIKE THE GOSPEL'S NOT JUST A TICKET TO HEAVEN,
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY THE ENTRANCE INTO FOLLOWING JESUS,
HIM BEING YOUR KING, YOUR LORD,
YOUR AUTHORITY.
AND THEN LIVING LIFE DOING HIS WILL.
SO IT'S BEEN THIS CONTINUAL THING OF
SAYING YES TO HIM.
STAYING CLOSE TO HIM, FOLLOWING HIM.
THIS CONTINUANCE IN JESUS BEING MY KING,
THIS CONTINUOUS IN JESUS BEING MY LORD.
AND, YES, WE ARE SAVED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE RACE.
LIKE WHEN WE FIRST START, RIGHT, WE GET BORN AGAIN,
WE ARE SAVED.
IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, WE'RE GOING TO BE WITH HIM FOREVER.
BUT WE CAN'T JUST SIT DOWN ON THE SIDE OF THE RACE
AND JUST THINK THAT EVERYTHING'S GOING TO
WORK OUT WELL.
WE'VE GOT TO FINISH OUR RACE.
SO IT'S BEEN THIS JOURNEY OF JUST CONTINUALLY SAYING
YES TO THE LORD EACH AND EVERY DAY.
AND THEN THERE'S SMALLER YESES,
BUT THEN THERE'S BIGGER.
ALL OF THEM MATTER, RIGHT.
BUT THEN THERE'S LIKE THESE BIGGER THINGS THAT
MAYBE WE'RE REALIZING IN THE MOMENT THE COST.
THERE'S GOING TO BE A COST HERE.
AND THEN WE JUST CONTINUE TO SURRENDER.
WE CONTINUE TO BE THAT BOND SERVANT OR THAT
FAITHFUL SON WHO IS CONTINUALLY DOING
THE FATHER'S WILL.
AND IT'S JUST UNRAVELED.
AND, REALLY, WE TALKED ABOUT IT EARLIER,
BUT FLOWING OUT OF THE SECRET PLACE.
I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING THAT'S BEEN PURE,
THAT'S BEEN TRUE, GOOD FRUIT IN MY LIFE,
IT STARTED IN THE SECRET PLACE OF HIM REVEALING
HIS CHARACTER, WHO HE IS, AND EVEN JUST SPEAKING OVER ME
WHO I AM AS HIS SON, AND EVERYTHING THAT JESUS
ACCOMPLISHED FOR US AND WHAT IT MEANS.
THERE WERE TIMES WHERE GOD WOULD SAY I LOVE YOU.
IN THE SECRET PLACE, MAYBE IN TIMES I'M STRUGGLING
IN LIFE OR YOU FEEL LIKE MAYBE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH
A DRY SEASON.
PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THOSE.
I WOULDN'T SAY IT WAS A DRY SEASON,
BUT JUST AT TIMES WHERE GOD WOULD SAY I LOVE YOU,
AND I'M NOT FEELING IT.
I'M LIKE, GOD, THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE IT'S LIKE
HIS PRESENCE IS JUST LIKE PEACE AND THERE'S NOT
A WORRY IN THE WORLD AND THERE'S NO CARES.
AND THEN THERE'S OTHER TIMES WHERE YOU'RE PRAYING
OR WORSHIPING, AND IT'S LIKE, MAN,
I'M REALLY HAVING TO PUT SOME EFFORT INTO THIS.
BUT TIMES WHERE I WOULD SAY, GOD,
I DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU LOVE ME,
AND IMMEDIATELY HE WOULD SHOW ME THE CROSS.
HE WOULD SHOW ME JESUS DYING FOR ME,
WHICH THE BIBLE SAYS THERE'S NO GREATER ACT OF LOVE
THAN FOR ONE TO LAY DOWN THEIR LIFE FOR THEIR FRIEND.
SO EVEN IN THAT, EVEN IN GOD SAYING I LOVE YOU
AND ME NOT NECESSARILY HAVING A FEELING,
CONSTANTLY LOOKING BACK TO WHAT JESUS DID AND REALLY
PONDERING ON THAT.
I FEEL LIKE THAT CAN ALMOST BECOME A CLICHE THING.
IT NEVER SHOULD.
BUT IN THE CHURCH, IT'S LIKE, OH, YEAH,
EASTER'S HERE AGAIN.
OH, YEAH, JESUS DIED FOR US ON THE CROSS.
YEAH, HE WAS RESURRECTED FROM THE DEAD.
AND IT'S LIKE THIS THING THAT'S LIKE, OKAY,
LET'S MOVE ON TO DEEPER THINGS,
OR LET'S MOVE ON TO MORE SPIRITUAL THINGS.
OR LET'S MOVE ON TO -
AND COMING BACK TO THAT, IT'S LIKE,
IT DOESN'T GET DEEPER.
LIKE EVERYTHING, THE CROSS AND WHAT JESUS DID
IN HIS RESURRECTION IS THE CORE OF EVERYTHING;
THE CORE OF GOD'S LOVE, THE CORE OF
RECONCILIATION, THE CORE OF HIS MERCY,
HIS FORGIVENESS.
ALL THE CHARACTER OF GOD IS SO BEAUTIFULLY
DISPLAYED EVEN IN THE CROSS AND JUST TAKING A
MOMENT TO PONDER ON THAT AND THINK ABOUT IT.
AND EVEN THE THOUGHT THE LORD REVEALED TO ME,
THAT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY HANDS THAT WERE PIERCED
BY THOSE NAILS, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY FEET.
AND THEN TO THINK ABOUT, I OFTENTIMES SHARE THIS,
BUT HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SPLINTER IN YOUR HAND?
REBECCA: I HAVE.
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
AS A KID?
REBECCA: YES.
NICHOLAS: AND THEN WAS IT YOUR MOM WHO GOT
A NEEDLE AND WAS TRYING TO GET IT OUT?
REBECCA: MY UNCLE.
NICHOLAS: YOUR UNCLE.
REBECCA: YEAH, IT WAS MAKING ME LAUGH.
IT'S A FAMILY JOKE, BUT YES,
I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.
[ LAUGHING ]
NICHOLAS: AND THEY GO A LITTLE BIT TOO FAR,
AND LIKE IN YOUR FINGER AND IT HURTS SO BAD.
JUST A LITTLE-BITTY NEEDLE WITH A LITTLE FINE END TO IT,
AND YOU'RE SITTING THERE CRYING AND SCREAMING
AND EVERYTHING ELSE, OR AT LEAST I WAS,
AND MY MOM WAS TRYING TO GET IT.
BUT TO THEN JUST PICTURE, LIKE IF YOU TOOK THAT NEEDLE
AND PUSHED IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH YOUR HAND.
REBECCA: NO.
NICHOLAS: LIKE THE PAIN.
REBECCA: IT WAS WAY THICKER THAN THAT,
EVER TO THAT.
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
AND THEN MAXIMIZE THAT TO NOW A HUGE -
REBECCA: IT'S FEET AND HANDS.
NICHOLAS: YEAH, TO A HUGE NAIL,
AND TO LITERALLY LIKE EVEN JUST TO THINK OF THIS,
LIKE WHAT IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU,
AS SOON AS YOU GO OUT OF HERE,
SOMEONE IS LIKE GOING TO DRIVE A NAIL THROUGH YOUR HAND,
AND JUST THE WEIGHT OF KNOWING THAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN IN LITERALLY AN HOUR,
LIKE TRULY FACING THE TRUTH OF,
THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME IN ABOUT AN HOUR.
LIKE WHAT'S THAT GOING TO FEEL LIKE.
THAT'S WHAT JESUS, HE'S IN THE GARDEN
AND HE'S PRAYING AND HE'S SWEATING BLOOD
BECAUSE HE KNOWS, FATHER, IF THERE'S ANOTHER WAY.
HE HAD ALREADY PROPHESIED HIS RESURRECTION,
SO HE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN,
HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DIE.
REBECCA: BUT HE KNEW HE HAD TO SUFFER,
AND THE SUFFERING WAS GOING TO BE GREAT,
AND IT WAS SUCH A TOLL ON HIM THAT HE SWEATED BLOOD.
BECAUSE THAT'S A MEDICAL - THAT'S A REAL THING MEDICALLY.
IF SOMEONE'S UNDER GREAT DISTRESS,
THERE'S SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS WHERE THE BLOOD VESSELS
WILL LIKE POP AND YOU WILL ACTUALLY,
OR THERE'S SOMETHING WHERE IT'S A REAL THING,
BUT YOU HAVE TO BE UNDER SEVERE DISTRESS.
SO THAT JUST SHOWS HOW GREATLY HE WAS THINKING.
BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE THE MENTAL
AND EMOTIONAL TOLL OF THINKING YOU'RE ABOUT TO
GO TO THE CROSS.
NICHOLAS: RIGHT.
YEAH.
SO EVEN THAT, LIKE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN US
IN THERE IN THE GARDEN, LIKE KNOWING OR WE PROBABLY
WOULD HAVE BEEN IN A JAIL CELL OR SOMETHING,
KNOWING THAT I'M ABOUT TO GO AND BE CRUCIFIED.
THERE WERE CRIMINALS WHO KNEW THAT.
THINK ABOUT THE TWO THIEFS THAT WERE BESIDE HIM.
THEY KNOW THIS IS WHAT'S COMING.
AND THE FACT THAT THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME.
THAT THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU.
THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US.
AND THEN JESUS STEPPED INTO THAT PLACE BEING
PERFECT, BEING INNOCENT.
NEVER COMMITTING A CRIME.
IT'S LIKE NONE OF US DESERVE THAT.
NONE OF US - WHO CAN SAY I'VE DONE ENOUGH GOOD THINGS
TO DESERVE THE SON OF GOD LEAVING HIS THRONE
AND COMING DOWN AND DYING IN MY PLACE?
LIKE I DESERVE FOR JESUS TO DO THAT.
IT'S LIKE, NO, NO ONE DESERVES THAT.
BUT HE STEPPED DOWN AND HE TOOK THOSE NAILS IN OUR PLACE,
AND HE TOOK THOSE THORNS IN HIS HEAD IN OUR PLACE,
HE TOOK THE MOCKERY AND THE SHAME AND THE
GUILT AND THE SMACKING AND THE SPIT AND ALL THOSE THINGS.
HE TOOK THAT ALL FOR US.
AND THEN TO LOOK AT THE LOVE THAT'S BEHIND THAT,
THIS INNOCENT, PERFECT PERSON,
HE DID THAT FOR ME.
AND THEN, OKAY, NOW I'M FEELING THE LOVE OF GOD.
NOW I'M SENSING THE LOVE OF GOD.
AND JUST THOSE MOMENTS IN THE SECRET PLACE THAT
REALLY PROPEL ME FORWARD OR MOVE ME FORWARD,
IT'S REALLY THE GRACE OF GOD EMPOWERING ME AND THEN
PRODUCING THOSE GOOD FRUITS THROUGH, LITERALLY,
IT WORKS THE SAME WAY FOR EVERY SINGLE CHRISTIAN.
JESUS LIVING THROUGH US.
REBECCA: YEAH, THAT'S SUCH A GOOD POINT.
AND I KNOW, WHEN I THINK ABOUT,
WHEN I THINK ABOUT JESUS DYING FOR US IN OUR SIN
AND TAKING THE PLACE, AND YOU KNOW IT'S LIKE AND SAYS
IN SCRIPTURE, NOT MANY WOULD EVEN DIE FOR A GOOD MAN,
BUT WE WERE SINNERS, WE WERE IN REBELLION TO GOD,
AND HE DIED FOR - I MEAN, THAT KIND OF LOVE,
IT'S HONESTLY HARD FOR ME IN MY MIND TO COMPREHEND,
BUT IT'S SO GOOD TO MEDITATE ON THAT
AND TO THINK ABOUT HOW HE TOOK OUR PLACE AND THAT WE HAVE
FREEDOM BECAUSE OF HIM.
IT'S THE MOST AMAZING THING.
AND THERE IS NOTHING DEEPER THAN THAT,
LIKE YOU SAID.
SO YOU START LEARNING THE WORD OF GOD.
DID YOU GO TO BIBLE SCHOOL OR DID YOU JUST -
WAS IT ON YOUR OWN?
NICHOLAS: YEAH, I DIDN'T GO TO BIBLE SCHOOL.
I WAS IN PRETTY MUCH EVERY CHURCH SERVICE THAT
OUR CHURCH HAD, AND WE HAD A LOT OF CHURCH SERVICE.
WE STILL HAVE SUNDAY MORNINGS, SUNDAY NIGHT,
AND WEDNESDAY.
BUT THERE WAS A SEASON WHERE -
REBECCA: HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
NICHOLAS: PROBABLY - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
REBECCA: HOW DID YOU KNOW HOW TO STUDY THE WORD?
I MEAN, LIKE LEGITIMATELY?
BECAUSE IT'S HARD.
BECAUSE I WENT TO SCHOOL, SO I'M CURIOUS
TO HOW YOU DID IT.
NICHOLAS: REALLY SLOWLY.
[ LAUGHING ]
NICHOLAS: I WOULD READ - I WAS A SLOW READER, ANYWAYS.
BUT LIKE EVERY OTHER WORD, I'M LIKE LOOKING UP WHAT'S
THIS WORD ACTUALLY MEAN.
WHAT DOES MANIFESTATION MEAN.
WHAT DOES WHATEVER OTHER - I WAS READING THE NKJV,
SO THAT MAKES IT A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT THAN MAYBE
THE NLT OR SOMETHING ELSE.
BUT JUST STUDYING OUT THE WORD,
I TOOK A LOT OF NOTES, AND JUST BREAKING DOWN.
SOMEONE INTRODUCED ME TO LIKE INTERLINEARS,
LIKE CONCORDANCES AND THINGS.
SO I GOT THIS BIBLE APP, IT'S CALLED
THE BLUE LETTER BIBLE APP, I USED IT FOR A LONG TIME.
REBECCA: OH, I LOVE BLUE LETTER BIBLE.
NICHOLAS: AND NOW I'VE SWITCHED OVER TO,
THERE'S AN OLIVE TREE BIBLE APP WHERE,
ANYWAY, IT'S A GREAT BIBLE APP.
YOU CAN READ IT, BUT AS YOU'RE READING IT,
YOU CAN CLICK ON ANY OF THE WORDS,
AND IT WILL JUST PULL UP LIKE THE GREEK WORD OR HEBREW,
IF YOU'RE IN THE OLD TESTAMENT.
REBECCA: OH, THAT'S SO COOL.
NICHOLAS: SO IT MAKES IT A LOT QUICKER THAN
READING AND THEN, OKAY, NOW I'M GOING TO TYPE IN,
AND ALL THAT.
BUT THAT READING REALLY SLOW AND LOOKING UP,
I LEARNED SO MUCH BY LOOKING UP ALL THOSE
GREEK WORDS ON WHAT THEY ACTUALLY MEAN,
WHAT THAT WORD ACTUALLY MEANS.
THAT AND THEN, LIKE I SAID, JUST GOING,
WE WOULD HAVE WEEKEND SERVICES LIKE OVER
AND OVER AGAIN.
SO SITTING UNDER A LOT OF TEACHING,
A LOT OF PREACHING, HAVING PEOPLE THAT I COULD GO TO,
PEOPLE THAT WOULD SPEAK INTO MY LIFE,
PEOPLE WHO COULD DISCIPLE ME.
YEAH.
AND ULTIMATELY THE HOLY SPIRIT,
THE TEACHER WALKING ALONGSIDE OF ME AND
OPENING THE EYES OF MY ENLIGHTENMENT,
GIVING ME A REVELATION OF THE WORD.
REBECCA: THAT'S SO GOOD.
AND THAT MAKES SENSE WHEN I HEARD YOUR STORY,
I WAS LIKE, AH, BECAUSE IT COMES ACROSS IN YOUR PREACHING,
LIKE YOU HAVE A GOOD - EVEN IN THIS
INTERVIEW, YOU HAVE A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF HIS WORD.
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T - IT HAS TO BE IN YOU WHEN YOU'RE
ON THOSE STREET SITUATIONS.
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE, WHATEVER'S IN YOU IS
WHAT'S GOING TO COME OUT OF YOU.
AND SO THERE IS THIS GRASP AND UNDERSTANDING OF THE WORD
AND BEING ABLE TO SPEAK THE GOSPEL IN A
REALLY LIKE CONCISE WAY, BUT WITH DEPTH.
SO THAT MAKES SENSE THAT YOU WERE IN THE WORD.
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY STILL IN THE WORD.
SO YOU START UPLOADING YOUR STUFF,
AND AT SOME POINT, YOU HIT TRACTION.
WHAT WAS THAT LIKE, HOW DID YOU HANDLE THAT FROM A
MENTAL STANDPOINT, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE TO GO FROM
HAVING JUST LIKE YOUR SMALL CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE,
LIKE A NORMAL PERSON HAS, NOW YOU HAVE THIS MASSIVE
INFLUENCE, THAT'S A LOT.
SO HOW DO YOU - WHAT WAS IT LIKE GETTING IT,
AND HOW DO YOU KEEP LIKE YOUR MIND AND YOUR HEART
IN THE RIGHT PLACE WITH IT
AND STEWARD THAT INFLUENCE?
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
THERE'S DEFINITELY BEEN TEMPTATIONS ALONG THE WAY.
I SHARED, I DON'T KNOW IF WE DID IT ON THE PODCAST HERE,
BUT I SHARED MY HEART BEHIND GETTING INTO
SOCIAL MEDIA, STARTING TEACHING,
STARTING EVEN BEING OUT WITNESSING TO SOMEONE,
WHETHER IT WAS ONE-ON-ONE OR WHETHER IT WAS OPEN AIR.
MY HEART BEHIND THAT WAS REALLY TO EQUIP JUST THE
BODY OF CHRIST, EVEN MY LOCAL CHURCH,
TO GET OUT THERE AND DO IT, AS WELL.
BECAUSE IT'S REALLY FOR EVERY CHRISTIAN.
SO THE LORD WAS GIVING ME THAT REVELATION,
AND THAT'S WHY I STARTED ALL THE CONTENT.
OUR FIRST VIDEO THAT TOOK OFF,
WE ACTUALLY JUST RELEASED A SHORT ON IT,
I THINK A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO,
BUT WE WERE AT A PRIDE EVENT JUST IN OUR CITY.
AND, AGAIN, I'M NOT THINKING LIKE, HEY,
LET'S GET BIG ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
I'M JUST THINKING, HEY, THEY'RE HAVING A PRIDE EVENT
LIKE IN OUR CITY.
THEY'RE PUTTING UP A HUGE STAGE WITH DRAG QUEENS,
BLARING ON THE SPEAKERS, AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO
MARCH THROUGH OUR CITY IN FRONT OF OUR TOWN HALL.
AND IF THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE THIS HUGE STATEMENT
FOR LGBTQ, I'M GOING TO GO PREACH THE GOSPEL.
THAT, ALONG WITH, HEY, HERE'S ALL THESE PEOPLE
GATHERED TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE WHO DON'T KNOW GOD,
THEY'RE FAR AWAY FROM HIM IN THEIR DECEIT,
SO IT'S LIKE PERFECT TIME.
REBECCA: PERFECT PLACE TO SEE AN OPPORTUNITY.
NICHOLAS: LIKE WE COULD TRY TO GATHER ALL THOSE
PEOPLE TOGETHER, PROBABLY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
REBECCA: NO.
NICHOLAS: WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A CHURCH
EVENT WHERE THEY FEEL WELCOME OR ANYTHING LIKE
THAT, SO IT'S LIKE, THERE THEY ARE ALL GATHERED
TOGETHER, LET'S USE THIS OPPORTUNITY.
SO WENT DOWN THERE AND PREACHED THE GOSPEL.
AND THERE WERE THESE TWO GIRLS THAT WERE
REALLY RECEPTIVE.
AND THEY WERE TALKING TO US,
THEY REALLY OPENED UP TO US.
AND THEN I ASKED THEM, HEY, CAN I PRAY FOR YOU?
AND I HAD JUST BEGUN, THEY SAID, YES,
YOU CAN PRAY FOR ME.
AND I HAD JUST BEGUN TELLING THEM,
JESUS CAN SET YOU FREE.
AND WHEN I SAID THAT, THIS GIRL LIKE STARTS HAVING
TROUBLE BREATHING, BENDS OVER, TURNS AROUND,
AND WHAT IT WAS, A DEMON WAS MANIFESTING,
LITERALLY WAS CHOKING HER, TRYING TO GET HER AWAY
FROM US, LIKE GET AWAY FROM THESE GUYS,
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HERE.
REBECCA: HE DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE HIS HOME.
NICHOLAS: AMEN, YEAH.
SO THEY WALKED OFF, WENT TO THE BATHROOM,
AND I REALIZED EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS,
OR THE HOLY SPIRIT REVEALED WHAT IT WAS,
THAT'S ACTUALLY A DEMON.
SO WE WENT OVER, JUST HUNG OUT AND WAITED,
AND THEY FINALLY CAME OUT, AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE,
YEAH, I THINK MY SHIRT WAS TOO TIGHT OR SOMETHING.
REBECCA: SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
NICHOLAS: YEAH, YEAH, SHE HAD NO IDEA.
SO WE WERE ABLE TO CONTINUE TO MINISTER TO
THEM AND PRAY FOR THEM.
BUT THAT VIDEO PROBABLY FOUR OR FIVE MONTHS AFTER
WE POSTED IT, JUST TOOK TRACTION,
AND LIKE OVERNIGHT, JUST STARTED GETTING
THOUSANDS OF VIEWS.
GOT UP TO LIKE 600,000 OR SOMETHING.
SO THAT WAS THE FIRST VIDEO THAT TOOK OFF.
THAT GAVE US AROUND 10,000 SUBSCRIBERS.
AND THEN JUST CONTINUED TO LABOR AND DO THINGS.
I THINK A SECOND VIDEO TOOK OFF THAT GOT US UP TO
MAYBE 22,000 SUBSCRIBERS, REALLY OUT OF JUST TWO VIDEOS,
AND JUST CONTINUE TO LABOR AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
AND AT THE TIME, I WAS FULL-TIME WORKING AT A CHURCH
TRYING TO GO OUT AND PREACH THE GOSPEL.
I WAS DOING THE EDITING, I WAS DOING THE
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGEMENT.
REBECCA: THAT'S A LOT.
I CAN'T EVEN - I'VE GOT A WHOLE TEAM OVER HERE.
THAT'S A LOT.
NICHOLAS: IT WAS A LOT.
AND I WAS MARRIED, WE HAD OUR FIRST KID.
SO I WAS TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING.
I JUST DIDN'T HAVE TIME.
SO I WOULD GET A VIDEO OUT MAYBE ONCE EVERY TWO MONTHS,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
AND THEN THE LORD JUST STARTED OPENING UP DOORS
TO BRING PEOPLE ON TO HELP AND THINGS LIKE THAT,
AND IT STARTED TO TAKE OFF,
ABLE TO EDIT MORE VIDEOS, GET MORE VIDEOS
OUT THERE TO PEOPLE.
AND AS IT'S GROWING, THERE'S DEFINITELY BEEN
TEMPTATIONS OF PRIDE TO GET YOU TO
FOCUS ON YOURSELF.
BUT VERSES HONESTLY LIKE, WHAT IS IT?
GOD WON'T ALLOW YOU TO BE TEMPTED BEYOND
WHAT YOU CAN BEAR, BUT WITH EVERY TEMPTATION,
HE PREPARES THE WAY OF ESCAPE.
RIGHT BEFORE THAT IT SAYS, GOD IS FAITHFUL.
NO TEMPTATION HAS OVERTAKEN YOU EXCEPT WHICH
IS COMMON IN MAN, BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL.
AND THEN IT GOES ON WITH THAT VERSE.
SO BECAUSE OF GOD'S FAITHFULNESS AND NOT
ALLOWING TEMPTATIONS THAT I CAN'T HANDLE,
THAT I CAN'T BEAR BASED ON HIS GRACE AND EVEN FAITH
IN HIS GRACE HAS REALLY BEEN HELPFUL IN,
WHEN THOSE TEMPTATIONS COME,
IT'S LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO FEAR THIS,
I'M NOT GOING TO GET ANXIOUS.
OH, NO, WHAT IF THE PRIDE GETS TO MY HEAD, OH, NO,
WHAT IF I FALL?
OH, NO, WHAT IF I DO THIS?
IT'S LIKE, NO, NO, HOLD UP A SECOND.
GOD, YOUR GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME.
IN MY WEAKNESS, YOUR POWER IS MADE PERFECT.
YOUR STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT.
AND IT'S JUST TRUSTING IN HIM.
AND THERE ARE DEFINITELY TIMES WHERE IT'S LIKE,
OKAY, I'VE GOT TO GO GET IN THE SECRET PLACE.
BECAUSE THE ENEMY IS TRYING TO BOMBARD OR HE IS
TRYING TO ATTACK WITH SOME OF THOSE TEMPTATIONS,
AND IT'S LIKE, I'VE GOT TO GET AWAY,
I'VE GOT TO GO BE WITH GOD.
AND THEN IN DOING THAT, GOD BRINGS - HE PURIFIES
OUR HEARTS, AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT WE NEEDED
TO DEAL WITH, ANY MOTIVES THAT HAVE SHIFTED -
BECAUSE MOTIVES AND INTENTIONS CAN - THE DEVIL
CAN TRY TO JUST TWEAK THOSE JUST A LITTLE BIT,
AND WE CAN GET THEN FROM THAT LITTLE TWEAK,
WE GET OFF WAY OVER HERE WHERE WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN
GOING THIS WAY DOWN THE ROAD.
BUT REALLY GETTING WITH THE LORD, BEING WITH HIM,
HE POINTS THOSE THINGS OUT IN A LOVING WAY TO HELP US
CORRECT THOSE THINGS AND HELP US SHIFT BACK AND
KEEP OUR EYES ON HIM, KEEP THE FOCUS ON HIM.
AND ULTIMATELY NOT TO GET SELFISH AND GET IN THE WAY
OF WHAT GOD WANTS TO DO.
REBECCA: SO TRUE.
I FEEL LIKE, YES, I FEEL LIKE IN MINISTRY,
IT'S LIKE IT'S NOT ABOUT US,
SO DON'T MAKE IT ABOUT US.
IT'S ABOUT HIM.
BUT THERE'S JUST SUCH A PRESSURE BECAUSE WE LIVE
IN SUCH A SOCIAL MEDIA-CHARGED AGE,
AND THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO
GET BIG FOLLOWINGS AND THEY'RE TRYING TO GET NUMBERS.
AND YOU CAN START TO FEEL THAT PRESSURE LIKE YOU
HAVE TO PERFORM OR YOU HAVE TO KEEP UP YOUR NUMBERS.
HOW DO YOU NOT LET THAT PRESSURE GET TO YOU?
NICHOLAS: THE SECRET PLACE.
[ LAUGHING ]
IT REALLY IS.
JUST GETTING WITH HIM.
AND WHEN YOU FIX YOUR EYES ON HIM,
HE JUST BRINGS A PURITY.
IT'S JUST WHO HE IS.
THE BIBLE SPEAKS OF GOD AS AN ALL-CONSUMING FIRE.
SO BEING WITH HIM, BEING WITH THAT FIRE,
HE REALLY REFINES AND REMOVES THOSE THINGS.
SO THEN - AND THERE ARE TIMES WHERE GOD WILL HAVE ME
STOP DOING SOMETHING FOR A WHILE.
IF I'M CHECKING THE NUMBERS LIKE, OH,
I WANT TO KNOW HOW DID THIS VIDEO DO?
THERE ARE TIMES WHERE IT'S LIKE IF I FEEL MYSELF
DRIFTING, MY MOTIVES DRIFTING, IT'S LIKE, OKAY,
I'M JUST GOING TO PUT THAT AWAY FOR A WHILE UNTIL GOD
REALLY BUILDS THAT SELF-CONTROL BACK UP AND
THE MOTIVES ARE PURE AND THIS AND THAT.
AND THEN YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT IT
DETERRING YOUR HEART.
REBECCA: WITHOUT IT BOTHERING YOU, YEAH.
NICHOLAS: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SO THERE ARE DEFINITELY TIMES WHERE I HAVE TO GET
IN SOME SELF-CONTROL AND SAY NO TO THIS OR NO TO THAT.
AND REALLY JUST KEEP MY FOCUS ON HIM.
REBECCA: YEAH.
HE REMINDED ME, BECAUSE WITH THIS PODCAST TOO,
THERE WILL BE TIMES WHERE I BECOME TOO FOCUSED ON NUMBERS.
AND JUST THE OTHER DAY,
HE LOVINGLY WAS LIKE, DON'T - YOU'RE NOT DOING
THIS FOR NUMBERS.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT NUMBERS.
NUMBERS ARE A BYPRODUCT OF HE CAN DO SOMETHING, RIGHT.
HE CAN GROW SOMETHING, HE CAN INCREASE IN INFLUENCE.
BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.
THAT'S IN HIS HANDS.
WE JUST HAVE TO BE FAITHFUL,
STAY IN THAT SECRET PLACE.
AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHEN HE COMES INTO THE PICTURE,
WHEN WE GET INTO ALIGNMENT WITH HIS HEART IN THE
SECRET PLACE, THERE IS A PURITY THAT COMES AND
REALLY WHERE YOU CAN BREATHE AND GO, OKAY,
I DON'T HAVE TO - THE PRESSURE THAT THE WORLD
PUTS ON US, I DON'T HAVE TO PUT ON ME.
GOD TAKES THOSE BURDENS OFF OF ME,
AND I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR PEOPLE,
I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR NUMBERS,
I'M DOING THIS FOR HIM.
BUT YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU HAVE TO STAY UP ON TOP OF IT.
AND YOU FIND YOURSELF SLIPPING INTO IT,
YOU'RE LIKE, OKAY, GOT TO COURSE-CORRECT.
BECAUSE WE'RE ALL HUMAN.
WE ALL, LIKE YOU SAID, FACE TEMPTATIONS.
BUT I LIKE THAT YOU FRAMED IT IN A REALLY HEALTHY WAY
WHERE YOU'RE LIKE, THERE'S NOTHING THAT HIS GRACE
ISN'T SUFFICIENT.
SO WE DON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR.
WE CAN BE AT PEACE KNOWING THAT WHATEVER HE CALLS US TO,
HE HAS GIVEN US THE GRACE FOR AND THAT HE IS
OUR SOURCE, AND WE CAN JUST FIND REST IN HIM IN
A WORLD THAT IS STRIVING AND RUNNING RUTHLESSLY
TRYING TO PROVE ITSELF, WE ARE SAFE AND SECURE IN HIM.
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
AND IF HE IS GOING TO ENTRUST US WITH INFLUENCE
AND REACHING THE NUMBERS AND THE MILLIONS,
ALL THESE PEOPLE, GOD CARES ABOUT US AND HE
LOVES US, AND HE'S NOT GOING TO MOVE US INTO A
POSITION THAT'S GOING TO BRING DESTRUCTION
INTO OUR LIVES.
LIKE HIS GRACE IS THERE AND IT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.
AND THE PLACE THAT HE'S PUT US IN FOR HIS GLORY'S SAKE,
FOR US TO REMAIN HUMBLE AND GIVE HIM
ALL THE GLORY, YEAH, HE CARES ABOUT US AND HE LOVES US,
AND HE PUT US THERE BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT I'M
GOING TO KEEP YOU HUMBLE, I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU THIS WAY,
AND THEN I'M GOING TO DO IT ALL FOR ME;
DRAWING PEOPLE TO HIM, GIVING GLORY TO HIS NAME,
GLORIFYING JESUS, AND HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT.
REBECCA: IT IS.
AND I THINK, WHAT I PERSONALLY BELIEVE IS THAT
I THINK HE CARES MORE ABOUT US THAN SOME KIND OF
MINISTRY, MEANING THAT LIKE IF SOMETHING IS GOING
TO TURN OUR HEARTS, HE WILL TAKE IT BECAUSE HE
WANTS US TO BE RIGHT WITH HIM.
HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT US OUT DOING THINGS FOR HIM
MORE THAN OUR HEARTS BEING ALIGNED FOR HIM,
BECAUSE HE'S A FATHER, WE'RE HIS CHILDREN.
THAT'S JUST MY PERSONAL BELIEF.
I THINK I'VE SEEN THAT IN MY LIFE WHERE IT'S LIKE
I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN THINGS THAT I CAN DO.
NICHOLAS: YEAH.
AND I'M SUPER GRATEFUL WHEN HE DOES MAYBE MOVE
SOMETHING BACK A LITTLE BIT OR HAVE US
TAKE A SHORT BREAK.
REBECCA: CLOSE A DOOR.
[ LAUGHING ]
NICHOLAS: I'M GRATEFUL WHEN HE DOES THAT BECAUSE
THERE ARE PEOPLE, THE BIBLE SAYS THE GIFTINGS
AND THE CALLINGS OF GOD ARE IRREVOCABLE.
SO SOME PEOPLE GET OUT THERE IN THE GIFTING AND
THE CALLING OF GOD, AND HE'S STILL MOVING MIGHTILY
AND HE'S STILL TOUCHING PEOPLE,
AND THERE'S STILL A GREAT SERMON MAYBE THAT'S
PREACHED OR A GREAT MESSAGE THAT GOES OUT.
AND GOD'S DOING THAT BECAUSE HE LOVES THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE RECEIVING, RIGHT.
HE'S IMPACTING THEM.
BUT THIS PERSON THAT HE'S MOVING THROUGH,
MAYBE THEIR HEART DID GET OFF-TRACK.
MAYBE THEY DID GET IN SOME KIND OF WILLFUL SIN.
MAYBE THEY DID DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
MAYBE PRIDE GOT TO THEIR HEAD AND THEY GOT INTO
WHATEVER, EMBEZZLING MONEY OR ANYTHING THAT PEOPLE
COULD GET INTO; ADULTERY, SEXUAL IMMORALITY.
THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS.
I NEVER WANT TO BE IN THAT POSITION FOR IT TO BECOME
ABOUT THE MINISTERING, ABOUT THE NUMBERS,
AND ABOUT THE MONEY, AND ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE,
AND GOD STILL USES ME.
THAT'S A DANGEROUS, SCARY PLACE TO BE IN THE SENSE
OF THE FEAR OF GOD.
I DON'T WANT TO BE HIS ENEMY.
I DON'T WANT TO JUST BE USED.
BECAUSE THERE IS THAT VERSE IN MATTHEW THAT SAYS
THEY'LL COME TO ME AND SAY, LORD,
DID WE NOT CAST OUT DEMONS IN YOUR NAME?
DID WE NOT HEAL THE SICK IN YOUR NAME?
DID WE NOT DO THESE THINGS IN YOUR NAME?
AND HE SAID, DEPART FROM ME, I NEVER KNEW YOU,
YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.
SO I NEVER WANT TO BE IN THAT PLACE FOR FEAR OF THE
LORD PURPOSE, BUT I ALSO WANT TO DO IT IN LOVING HIM
AND BEING WITH HIM AND BEING IN RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM
AND HAVING PURITY OF HEART.
I DON'T WANT TO EVER GET IN THIS PLACE OF
NOT DOING IT WITH HIM.
REBECCA: EXACTLY.
NICHOLAS: AND HIM JUST USING ME.
REBECCA: NO.
AND I THINK YOU HELPED EXPLAIN SOMETHING THAT
I THINK CAN CONFUSE PEOPLE, WHERE IT'S LIKE,
WHY IS THIS PERSON DOING THIS BUT THERE'S LIKE AN
ANOINTING AND STUFF?
BECAUSE GOD CAN MOVE THROUGH A BROKEN VESSEL
AND TOUCH PEOPLE WHO NEED HIS PRESENCE.
SO I THINK YOU HELPED EXPLAIN THAT.
AND I'M ON THE SAME BOAT WITH YOU.
AND FOR ME PERSONALLY I NEVER WANT TO LOVE
MINISTRY MORE THAN GOD, BUT IN MY OWN PERSONAL
EXPERIENCE, MINISTRY HAS NEVER BEEN GREATER THAN GOD.
HE'S JUST SO MUCH BETTER.
AND IF I DON'T HAVE HIM, I CAN'T EVEN DO MINISTRY.
I WOULD JUST GET BURNED OUT OR GET CYNICAL
OR GET BITTER.
BECAUSE LIFE IS HARD AND PEOPLE ARE HURTING
AND BROKEN AND THEY CAN BE HURTFUL.
AND SO THE ONLY WAY THAT NOT ONLY CAN MY HEART STAY PURE,
BUT THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN HAVE THE FUEL
TO CONTINUE TO OPERATE AND DO MINISTRY
IS THROUGH MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
BUT I'M WITH YOU.
I NEVER WANT THIS TO BE ABOVE HIM.
I WANT - HE IS FIRST, AND THEN EVERYTHING ELSE
FALLS INTO PLACE AFTER HIM.
NICHOLAS: AMEN.
REBECCA: YEAH.
WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE
AND FOR JUST SHARING YOUR STORY AND JUST SHARING YOUR HEART.
IT'S JUST BEEN SO GREAT HEARING FROM YOU,
AND I'LL BE EXCITED TO SEE SOME MORE
EVANGELISM VIDEOS IN THE FUTURE.
NICHOLAS: AMEN.
I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT GOD HAS PLANNED.
AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME ON.
REBECCA: YEAH, IT WAS AN HONOR.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
NICHOLAS: AMEN.