WEBVTT 00:00:09.833 --> 00:00:10.967 >> WELL, WELCOME BACK, JENNY. 00:00:11.067 --> 00:00:12.267 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH. 00:00:12.367 --> 00:00:13.934 >> I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU BACK HERE 00:00:14.034 --> 00:00:15.133 ON OUR NEW SET. 00:00:15.233 --> 00:00:16.167 >> YES, I LOVE IT. 00:00:16.267 --> 00:00:17.034 >> OKAY. 00:00:17.134 --> 00:00:18.800 SO SHARE YOUR HEART WITH US, 00:00:18.900 --> 00:00:21.133 WHAT HAS GOD BEEN SPEAKING TO YOU? 00:00:21.233 --> 00:00:22.800 WHAT HAS HE PUT ON YOUR HEART? 00:00:22.900 --> 00:00:23.733 >> YEAH. 00:00:23.833 --> 00:00:25.934 SO THERE IS THIS INCREDIBLE REVELATION 00:00:26.034 --> 00:00:28.500 THAT GOD IS UNFOLDING AS WE SPEAK. 00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:32.133 BUT IT STARTED WITH A DREAM THAT I HAD 00:00:32.233 --> 00:00:33.900 JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.166 AND THIS IS A CRAZY DREAM. 00:00:35.266 --> 00:00:38.200 I'M JUST GOING TO WARN YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE RIGHT NOW. 00:00:38.300 --> 00:00:40.033 AND IT PROBABLY FEELS MORE CRAZY BECAUSE IT WAS ME 00:00:40.133 --> 00:00:41.700 IN THE DREAM EXPERIENCING THIS. 00:00:41.800 --> 00:00:45.467 BUT BASICALLY IN THE DREAM MY FIVE KIDS ARE 00:00:45.567 --> 00:00:47.233 STANDING IN FRONT OF ME. 00:00:47.333 --> 00:00:49.300 AND I AM SAYING TO THEM, 00:00:49.400 --> 00:00:51.666 HEY, YOU NEED TO SHOW ME LOVE. 00:00:51.766 --> 00:00:53.800 AND THEY'RE JUST INDIFFERENT, 00:00:53.900 --> 00:00:55.933 TOTALLY APATHETIC. 00:00:56.033 --> 00:00:57.500 AND I'M LIKE, HEY, YOU GUYS NEED TO SHOW ME 00:00:57.600 --> 00:01:00.334 HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME. 00:01:00.434 --> 00:01:02.067 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, 00:01:02.167 --> 00:01:04.666 THEY BECOME MORE INDIFFERENT, 00:01:04.766 --> 00:01:07.700 MORE APATHETIC, AND THEY START LOOKING 00:01:07.800 --> 00:01:09.500 ALMOST LIKE PLASTIC, 00:01:09.600 --> 00:01:12.067 LIKE, THEY'RE NOT TALKING, 00:01:12.167 --> 00:01:13.466 THEY'RE NOT MOVING. 00:01:13.566 --> 00:01:17.366 AND THEY START KIND OF PULLING AWAY FROM ME. 00:01:17.466 --> 00:01:19.267 THIS IS WHERE IT GETS REALLY ROUGH. 00:01:19.367 --> 00:01:27.933 I BECOME SO INCREDIBLY DESPERATE FOR THEIR LOVE, 00:01:28.033 --> 00:01:31.667 LIKE A DRUG ADDICT IN A DUMPSTER 00:01:31.767 --> 00:01:33.000 LOOKING FOR A NEEDLE. 00:01:33.100 --> 00:01:34.767 THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT. 00:01:34.867 --> 00:01:36.466 AND THIS THING ROLLS UP INSIDE OF ME 00:01:36.566 --> 00:01:38.100 LIKE I CAN'T LIVE 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:42.866 ONE MORE MOMENT WITHOUT YOUR LOVE. 00:01:42.966 --> 00:01:47.567 AND IT WAS LIKE AN UNEXPLAINABLE, RAVISHING, 00:01:47.667 --> 00:01:49.600 I HAVE TO HAVE A HIT. 00:01:49.700 --> 00:01:50.733 OKAY. 00:01:50.833 --> 00:01:53.067 THEN IN THE DREAM I BECOME VIOLENT. 00:01:53.167 --> 00:01:55.200 NOW, IF SOMEBODY'S JUST JUMPING IN THIS PODCAST, 00:01:55.300 --> 00:01:58.067 PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS IS A DREAM. 00:01:58.167 --> 00:02:00.100 IN CASE YOU JUMPED IN RIGHT THIS MOMENT 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:01.167 BECAUSE IN THE DREAM, 00:02:01.267 --> 00:02:03.467 I ACTUALLY GRABBED THE BACK OF THE HAIR 00:02:03.567 --> 00:02:07.667 OF MY OLDEST AND BECOME VIOLENT. 00:02:07.767 --> 00:02:10.000 AND I LOOK OVER, 00:02:10.100 --> 00:02:12.567 THERE'S A WOMAN SITTING AT A TABLE, 00:02:12.667 --> 00:02:15.333 AND SHE'S TOTALLY CALM, TOTALLY PEACEFUL. 00:02:15.433 --> 00:02:17.233 SHE'S SITTING DOWN AND SHE'S OBSERVING 00:02:17.333 --> 00:02:18.867 THIS WHOLE SCENE. 00:02:18.967 --> 00:02:20.667 AND SHE SAYS TO ME, 00:02:20.767 --> 00:02:24.900 OH, I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD TO HAVE ALCOHOL 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.234 TO MAKE ME HAPPY. 00:02:27.334 --> 00:02:29.467 AND I WAKE UP FROM THE DREAM. 00:02:29.567 --> 00:02:31.967 THE FIRST THING I SAY OUT OF MY MOUTH IS, 00:02:32.067 --> 00:02:35.300 GOD, I AM SO SORRY, 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:37.667 BECAUSE I IMMEDIATELY KNOW 00:02:37.767 --> 00:02:40.266 THAT HE'S ADDRESSING IDOLS. 00:02:40.366 --> 00:02:43.466 JUST LIKE SOMEBODY MIGHT HAVE THE IDOL OF ALCOHOL, 00:02:43.566 --> 00:02:46.200 OR WE WOULD CALL IT ADDICTION, WHATEVER. 00:02:46.300 --> 00:02:50.367 BUT IN THE DREAM HE IS ADDRESSING THIS, 00:02:50.467 --> 00:02:55.334 I MUST HAVE X, Y, Z, IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY. 00:02:55.434 --> 00:02:56.734 >> YEAH. 00:02:56.834 --> 00:02:58.900 >> SO I SAY TO GOD, I'M SO SORRY. 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.966 >> SO YOU FELT CONVICTION, LIKE IT WAS FOR YOU PERSONALLY? 00:03:01.066 --> 00:03:03.934 >> WELL, IT WAS SO EMOTIONALLY INTENSE 00:03:04.034 --> 00:03:05.334 AND IT FELT SO REAL 00:03:05.434 --> 00:03:06.933 >> YEAH. 00:03:07.033 --> 00:03:09.633 >> THAT THE ONLY RESPONSE I HAD WAS, I'M SORRY. 00:03:09.733 --> 00:03:12.134 AND IF THIS IS ME, IF THIS DREAM IS ABOUT ME, 00:03:12.234 --> 00:03:14.067 I AM SO SORRY. 00:03:14.167 --> 00:03:16.833 SO THEN I GO TO MY LIVING ROOM TO PRAY IN THE MORNING. 00:03:16.933 --> 00:03:18.867 SO I GOT UP, I GO SIT DOWN. 00:03:18.967 --> 00:03:20.267 BUT I CAN'T MOVE ON. 00:03:20.367 --> 00:03:22.766 LIKE THIS DREAM IS SO SHOCKING. 00:03:22.866 --> 00:03:25.133 AND I'M SO SHOOK THAT I SAID, OKAY, GOD, 00:03:25.233 --> 00:03:27.334 I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS DREAM. 00:03:27.434 --> 00:03:30.434 AND HE SAYS TO ME, JENNY, 00:03:30.534 --> 00:03:31.966 YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE MANDATES ON MY LIFE 00:03:32.066 --> 00:03:34.767 IS TO HELP AMERICA RECOVER THE FAMILY, RIGHT. 00:03:34.867 --> 00:03:35.867 AND HE SAYS, JENNY, 00:03:35.967 --> 00:03:39.867 IF THE CHURCH IS GOING TO FIGHT FOR FAMILY, 00:03:39.967 --> 00:03:43.733 THEN FAMILY CANNOT BE AN IDOL. 00:03:43.833 --> 00:03:45.333 THAT'S LIKE STEP NUMBER ONE. 00:03:45.433 --> 00:03:46.966 BECAUSE WHEN FAMILY IS AN IDOL, 00:03:47.066 --> 00:03:48.600 WHEN CHILDREN ARE AN IDOL, 00:03:48.700 --> 00:03:50.966 WHEN MARRIAGE IS AN IDOL, 00:03:51.066 --> 00:03:55.933 YOU OPEN THE DOOR, THE ACCESS, TO THE ENEMY. 00:03:56.033 --> 00:03:58.500 AND PART OF THE ATTACK ON THE FAMILY 00:03:58.600 --> 00:04:01.500 THAT WE'RE EXPERIENCING ALL ACROSS AMERICA, 00:04:01.600 --> 00:04:04.566 WHETHER IT'S CHRISTIANS OR NON-CHRISTIANS, 00:04:04.666 --> 00:04:07.967 IN PART IS BECAUSE OF THE IDOLATRY 00:04:08.067 --> 00:04:10.267 AROUND FAMILY. 00:04:10.367 --> 00:04:11.967 SO THEN I SAID, OKAY. 00:04:12.067 --> 00:04:13.466 AND THEN HE REMINDED ME, 00:04:13.566 --> 00:04:14.766 I WOKE UP IN NEW YORK CITY 00:04:14.866 --> 00:04:17.533 A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, BEFORE I COULD FULLY GET AWAKE 00:04:17.633 --> 00:04:19.300 BECAUSE GOD LIKES TO SPEAK TO ME 00:04:19.400 --> 00:04:21.334 BEFORE I CAN REALLY THINK. 00:04:21.434 --> 00:04:22.200 >> YEAH. 00:04:22.300 --> 00:04:23.466 >> YOU KNOW, SO IT'S JUST HIM. 00:04:23.566 --> 00:04:24.400 AND HE SAID TO ME, 00:04:24.500 --> 00:04:27.966 JENNY, AN IDOL IS ANYTHING YOU RELY ON 00:04:28.066 --> 00:04:29.266 TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 00:04:29.366 --> 00:04:30.034 >> WOW. 00:04:30.134 --> 00:04:32.000 >> SO HE REMINDED ME OF THAT 00:04:32.100 --> 00:04:33.433 BECAUSE I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT. 00:04:33.533 --> 00:04:36.234 AND I SAID, OKAY, I'M STARTING TO CATCH THIS. 00:04:36.334 --> 00:04:42.067 AND HE SAID WHEN PARENTS NEED THEIR CHILDREN'S LOVE SO BAD 00:04:42.167 --> 00:04:45.967 AND THEY MUST HAVE IT IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY, 00:04:46.067 --> 00:04:48.134 AND IF THEY DON'T HAVE THEIR CHILDREN'S AFFIRMATION, 00:04:48.234 --> 00:04:50.934 IF THEY DON'T HAVE THIS RECIPROCATED LOVE, 00:04:51.034 --> 00:04:51.834 LIKE I'VE LOVED YOU. 00:04:51.934 --> 00:04:52.800 I PAY FOR YOU. 00:04:52.900 --> 00:04:53.934 I DO THIS FOR YOU. 00:04:54.034 --> 00:04:56.533 YOU OWE ME LOVE. 00:04:56.633 --> 00:04:58.166 HE SAID THAT'S IDOLATRY. 00:04:58.266 --> 00:04:59.167 OKAY. 00:04:59.267 --> 00:05:00.034 SO I SAT WITH THAT THAT DAY AND THOUGHT, 00:05:00.134 --> 00:05:02.600 OKAY, THIS IS A KEY 00:05:02.700 --> 00:05:03.833 TO THE NATION. 00:05:03.933 --> 00:05:05.733 CERTAINLY A KEY FOR ME. 00:05:05.833 --> 00:05:08.800 SO I BEGAN UNPACKING IDOLS A LITTLE BIT MORE. 00:05:08.900 --> 00:05:09.800 AND YOU CAN INTERRUPT ME AND ASK ME A QUESTION 00:05:09.900 --> 00:05:10.600 ANY TIME. 00:05:10.700 --> 00:05:11.233 I'M JUST ROLLING HERE. 00:05:11.333 --> 00:05:12.034 >> NO, GO. 00:05:12.134 --> 00:05:13.367 >> OKAY. 00:05:13.467 --> 00:05:15.500 SO THE NEXT THING THAT HAPPENED WAS 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:18.000 OF COURSE, I'M THINKING ABOUT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. 00:05:18.100 --> 00:05:19.400 EXODUS 20, THE FIRST ONE, 00:05:19.500 --> 00:05:21.500 YOU WILL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME. 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:24.167 IT'S NOT BECAUSE GOD IS THIS EGOTISTICAL, LIKE 00:05:24.267 --> 00:05:26.600 YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME ONLY AND I AM THE BEST. 00:05:26.700 --> 00:05:28.633 YOU KNOW, HE IS THE BEST, BUT IT'S BECAUSE 00:05:28.733 --> 00:05:30.200 THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ARE ACTUALLY SET UP 00:05:30.300 --> 00:05:33.334 TO PROTECT US FROM THE ENEMY 00:05:33.434 --> 00:05:35.400 AND KEEP US ON THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 00:05:35.500 --> 00:05:36.934 THE PATH OF -- THE PATH OF LIGHT. 00:05:37.034 --> 00:05:38.534 THE PATH OF DESTINY. 00:05:38.634 --> 00:05:41.300 SO, IT IS -- IT'S THE FIRST COMMANDMENT. 00:05:41.400 --> 00:05:43.766 YOU WILL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME. 00:05:43.866 --> 00:05:46.800 SO THEN I START THINKING ABOUT, WAIT A MINUTE, 00:05:46.900 --> 00:05:50.000 THIS IS WHAT ABRAHAM FACED, RIGHT? 00:05:50.100 --> 00:05:53.766 HERE WE HAVE THIS GUY WHO FOR DECADES 00:05:53.866 --> 00:05:55.600 HAD TO BELIEVE GOD 00:05:55.700 --> 00:05:57.733 THAT HE WOULD HAVE A SON, RIGHT, 00:05:57.833 --> 00:05:59.900 AND ALL HE'S WANTING TO DO IS 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:01.934 BELIEVE GOD FOR DECADES. 00:06:02.034 --> 00:06:05.733 HIS WIFE IS NOW OLD, BEYOND CHILDBEARING YEARS 00:06:05.833 --> 00:06:08.300 AND GOD IS LIKE, I'M NOT ONLY GOING TO GIVE YOU A SON, 00:06:08.400 --> 00:06:10.867 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE DESCENDANTS THAT WILL 00:06:10.967 --> 00:06:12.833 NUMBER THE SANDS OF THE SEASHORE, 00:06:12.933 --> 00:06:13.900 THE STARS IN THE SKY. 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:17.067 LIKE, THIS CRAZY PROMISE. 00:06:17.167 --> 00:06:19.800 AND HERE'S ABRAHAM JUST OBEYING GOD SAYING, 00:06:19.900 --> 00:06:21.034 OKAY, I BELIEVE YOU, YOU KNOW. 00:06:21.134 --> 00:06:22.866 AND HE GOES THE ACHES AND PAINS 00:06:22.966 --> 00:06:23.933 OF BELIEVING AND NOT RECEIVING AND ALL THE THINGS. 00:06:24.033 --> 00:06:27.333 HE FINALLY GETS HIS SON ISAAC, AND THEN 00:06:27.433 --> 00:06:30.700 IN GENESIS 22 IT SAYS, 00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:32.700 AFTER A WHILE, 00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:36.166 THEY SAY THAT ISAAC WAS MAYBE 12 OR 13 YEARS OLD, 00:06:36.266 --> 00:06:37.967 LONG ENOUGH TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE PROMISE. 00:06:38.067 --> 00:06:41.300 LONG ENOUGH TO SAY THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. 00:06:41.400 --> 00:06:45.166 IN FACT, IT SAYS, ISAAC, YOUR ONLY SON, 00:06:45.266 --> 00:06:47.033 THE ONE YOU LOVE, 00:06:47.133 --> 00:06:49.066 I WANT YOU TO SACRIFICE. 00:06:49.166 --> 00:06:53.233 SO ISN'T IT CRAZY THAT GOD CALLS US TO BELIEVE HIM 00:06:53.333 --> 00:06:56.467 FOR FAMILY, FOR WHATEVER, FOR THE BLESSING. 00:06:56.567 --> 00:06:57.866 AND THEN AFTER SOME TIME 00:06:57.966 --> 00:07:00.600 HE WANTS IT BACK. 00:07:00.700 --> 00:07:02.233 AND SO HERE'S ABRAHAM BEING OBEDIENT, 00:07:02.333 --> 00:07:04.300 GOES TO THE TOP OF THIS MOUNTAIN. 00:07:04.400 --> 00:07:08.000 ISAAC IS LIKE, WHERE'S THE SACRIFICE, DAD? 00:07:08.100 --> 00:07:10.634 YOU KNOW, AND HE DOESN'T REALIZE IT'S HIM. 00:07:10.734 --> 00:07:14.400 ABRAHAM LAYS HIM ON THE ALTAR, RAISES THE KNIFE, 00:07:14.500 --> 00:07:17.167 AND THE ANGEL OF THE LORD SAYS, STOP. 00:07:17.267 --> 00:07:19.666 NOW WE KNOW THAT YOU FEAR THE LORD. 00:07:19.766 --> 00:07:21.800 AND HERE'S WHAT'S SO SPECIAL. 00:07:21.900 --> 00:07:25.700 IF YOU READ ON AT THE END OF GENESIS 22, 00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:28.833 IT SAYS NOW THAT WE KNOW THAT YOU FEAR THE LORD, 00:07:28.933 --> 00:07:32.200 WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A NATION. 00:07:32.300 --> 00:07:33.300 >> YEAH. 00:07:33.400 --> 00:07:34.500 >> WE'RE GOING TO MAKE YOUR DESCENDANTS SO GREAT 00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:36.433 THAT THEY NUMBER THE SANDS OF THE SEASHORE, 00:07:36.533 --> 00:07:38.300 THE STARS OF THE SKY. 00:07:38.400 --> 00:07:42.233 AND IT WAS LIKE WE CAN'T MULTIPLY YOUR LIFE 00:07:42.333 --> 00:07:49.133 UNTIL YOU HAND OVER THE VERY THING THAT YOU BELIEVED FOR. 00:07:49.233 --> 00:07:54.567 SO GOD BEGAN TO SPEAK TO ME ABOUT IDOLATRY. 00:07:54.667 --> 00:07:56.466 AND I LOOKED UP SOME SCRIPTURES 00:07:56.566 --> 00:08:01.000 AND THIS ONE REALLY HIT ME HARD, 00:08:01.100 --> 00:08:02.500 AND IT'S PSALM -- I'M GOING TO READ THIS. 00:08:02.600 --> 00:08:08.000 IT'S PSALM 115, VERSE 4 THROUGH 8. 00:08:08.100 --> 00:08:09.833 OKAY. SO LISTEN TO THIS. 00:08:09.933 --> 00:08:12.734 BUT THEIR IDOLS ARE SILVER AND GOLD 00:08:12.834 --> 00:08:14.000 MADE BY HUMAN HANDS. 00:08:14.100 --> 00:08:16.500 SO WE THINK OF IDOLS AS OBJECTS, RIGHT? 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:17.533 >> YEAH. 00:08:17.633 --> 00:08:21.066 >> SILVER AND GOLD. BUT THEY HAVE MOUTHS, 00:08:21.166 --> 00:08:22.867 BUT CANNOT SPEAK. 00:08:22.967 --> 00:08:24.667 EYES, BUT CANNOT SEE. 00:08:24.767 --> 00:08:26.867 THEY HAVE EARS, BUT CANNOT HEAR. 00:08:26.967 --> 00:08:29.300 NOSES, BUT CANNOT SMELL. 00:08:29.400 --> 00:08:31.400 THEY HAVE HANDS, BUT CANNOT FEEL. 00:08:31.500 --> 00:08:33.567 FEET, BUT CANNOT WALK. 00:08:33.667 --> 00:08:37.567 NOR CAN THEY UTTER A SOUND WITH THEIR THROATS. 00:08:37.667 --> 00:08:39.933 AND HERE'S THE WHOLE THING 00:08:40.033 --> 00:08:41.300 THAT I WANT TO POINT OUT. 00:08:41.400 --> 00:08:46.200 THOSE WHO MAKE THEM WILL BE LIKE THEM, 00:08:46.300 --> 00:08:49.466 AND SO WILL ALL WHO TRUST IN THEM. 00:08:49.566 --> 00:08:50.200 OKAY. 00:08:50.300 --> 00:08:51.266 HOLD ON. 00:08:51.366 --> 00:08:52.800 SO IF WE MAKE AN IDOL OR WE TRUST IN AN IDOL, 00:08:52.900 --> 00:08:54.333 WE WILL BECOME LIKE THE IDOL 00:08:54.433 --> 00:08:57.000 THAT WAS JUST DESCRIBED. 00:08:57.100 --> 00:08:58.734 A MOUTH CANNOT SPEAK. 00:08:58.834 --> 00:09:00.900 WE HAVE EYES BUT WE CAN'T SEE. 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:02.233 WE HAVE EARS, BUT WE CAN'T HEAR. 00:09:02.333 --> 00:09:03.733 WE HAVE HANDS, BUT WE CAN'T FEEL. 00:09:03.833 --> 00:09:06.800 AND THE LORD STARTED SHARING WITH ME 00:09:06.900 --> 00:09:09.667 WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE IDOLS IS, 00:09:09.767 --> 00:09:14.667 YOU BECOME SPIRITUALLY NUMB. 00:09:14.767 --> 00:09:17.566 YOU HAVE EARS, BUT YOU CAN'T HEAR. 00:09:17.666 --> 00:09:19.234 YOU HAVE A MOUTH BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN PRAISE GOD 00:09:19.334 --> 00:09:20.766 WITH IT ANYMORE. 00:09:20.866 --> 00:09:24.400 YOU HAVE FEET, BUT YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY WALK WITH ME. 00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:26.433 BECAUSE WHEN WE HAVE IDOLS, 00:09:26.533 --> 00:09:32.500 WE BECOME NEUTRALIZED IN OUR SPIRITUALITY. 00:09:32.600 --> 00:09:34.500 AND IF WE TAKE ON THAT IN OUR SPIRIT, 00:09:34.600 --> 00:09:35.800 OUR BODY STARTS TAKING THAT ON. 00:09:35.900 --> 00:09:39.967 I REALLY BELIEVE, AND THIS IS NO CONDEMNATION, 00:09:40.067 --> 00:09:41.300 AND THIS IS NOT A FORMULA, 00:09:41.400 --> 00:09:46.566 BUT COULD IT BE THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE A CRIPPLED BODY 00:09:46.666 --> 00:09:48.400 BECAUSE OF IDOLS? 00:09:48.500 --> 00:09:49.966 BECAUSE OF THE INABILITY TO WALK, 00:09:50.066 --> 00:09:53.266 THE INABILITY TO HEAR, THE INABILITY TO SEE. 00:09:53.366 --> 00:09:54.700 I KNOW THAT FOR ME IN MY LIFE, 00:09:54.800 --> 00:09:57.400 THERE'S BEEN TIMES WHERE I STEP INTO A ROOM 00:09:57.500 --> 00:10:00.267 AND THERE'S A WORSHIP SETTING GOING ON 00:10:00.367 --> 00:10:01.700 AND EVERYBODY'S ON FIRE, 00:10:01.800 --> 00:10:04.633 AND I FEEL LIKE I DIDN'T CATCH THAT WAVE. 00:10:04.733 --> 00:10:05.467 GOD, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. 00:10:05.567 --> 00:10:07.933 GOD, WHERE ARE YOU? 00:10:08.033 --> 00:10:10.433 AND HE'S LIKE, YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY 00:10:10.533 --> 00:10:12.500 WORKING ON SOMETHING, RIGHT, THAT HE GAVE ME. 00:10:12.600 --> 00:10:13.767 >> YEAH. 00:10:13.867 --> 00:10:16.934 >> AND THAT I THINK IS THE TRICKY PART, REBECCA. 00:10:17.034 --> 00:10:20.634 HOW DO WE KNOW IF WHAT GOD GAVE US 00:10:20.734 --> 00:10:22.733 HAS BECOME AN IDOL? 00:10:22.833 --> 00:10:24.033 >> HOW? 00:10:24.133 --> 00:10:25.333 >> SO THIS IS WHAT HE'S BEEN UNPACKING. 00:10:25.433 --> 00:10:27.000 I'M SURE THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE TO THIS, 00:10:27.100 --> 00:10:30.300 BUT IDOLS, 00:10:30.400 --> 00:10:32.433 LET'S TALK ABOUT IT IN THE SPIRITUAL SENSE. 00:10:32.533 --> 00:10:36.900 IDOLS ARE ATTACHED TO ALTARS 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:38.733 SO WE ARE MOBILE ALTARS. 00:10:38.833 --> 00:10:40.134 WHEN WE WORSHIP AND PRAISE GOD, 00:10:40.234 --> 00:10:42.434 WE'RE BUILDING A HOLY FIRE 00:10:42.534 --> 00:10:44.400 BECAUSE WE'RE WORSHIPPING GOD. 00:10:44.500 --> 00:10:46.033 SO WHEN WE WORSHIP 00:10:46.133 --> 00:10:49.433 WE'RE BUILDING AN ALTAR, AND THERE'S POWER, RIGHT? 00:10:49.533 --> 00:10:51.467 WHEN WE WORSHIP YOU CAN FEEL THE POWER OF GOD. 00:10:51.567 --> 00:10:54.034 YOU CAN FEEL THE RISING UP OF THE SPIRIT. 00:10:54.134 --> 00:10:57.167 WELL, WHEN WE WORSHIP IDOLS, 00:10:57.267 --> 00:11:00.700 WE ACTUALLY POWER UP A DEMONIC ALTAR 00:11:00.800 --> 00:11:03.033 ON THE INSIDE OF US AND IT'S WHAT 00:11:03.133 --> 00:11:07.800 THE ENEMY USES IN US TO HAVE POWER. 00:11:07.900 --> 00:11:08.900 >> TO GAIN ACCESS. 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:11.134 >> TO GAIN ACCESS TO US AND ACTUALLY GET POWER 00:11:11.234 --> 00:11:12.200 FROM US. 00:11:12.300 --> 00:11:14.167 NOBODY LISTENING TO THIS PODCAST WOKE UP TODAY 00:11:14.267 --> 00:11:16.600 AND SAID, I WANT TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO HELP 00:11:16.700 --> 00:11:18.034 THE ENEMY RUIN MY LIFE. 00:11:18.134 --> 00:11:19.067 >> YEAH. 00:11:19.167 --> 00:11:20.767 >> NOBODY SAID THAT. 00:11:20.867 --> 00:11:24.233 BUT I BELIEVE THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE KEYS 00:11:24.333 --> 00:11:27.600 TO US GIVING -- GIVING THE ENEMY ACCESS, 00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:31.133 IS WHEN WE GET OUR EYES ON SOMETHING 00:11:31.233 --> 00:11:32.400 AND IT'S HIGHER THAN THE LORD. 00:11:32.500 --> 00:11:34.500 HOW DO WE KNOW? 00:11:34.600 --> 00:11:38.367 IDOLS CAUSE US TO BE SLAVES. 00:11:38.467 --> 00:11:39.500 >> YEAH. 00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:41.000 >> SO THE LORD SHOWED ME THIS BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, 00:11:41.100 --> 00:11:41.867 WE HAVE MINISTRIES. 00:11:41.967 --> 00:11:42.633 YOU HAVE A MINISTRY. 00:11:42.733 --> 00:11:43.600 WE HAVE FAMILIES. 00:11:43.700 --> 00:11:44.200 WE HAVE ALL THESE WONDERFUL THINGS THAT 00:11:44.300 --> 00:11:45.867 GOD ASKED US TO DO. 00:11:45.967 --> 00:11:46.533 AND THE LORD SAID TO ME, 00:11:46.633 --> 00:11:48.633 JENNY, THE DIFFERENCES, 00:11:48.733 --> 00:11:52.100 STEWARDSHIP VERSUS SLAVERY. 00:11:52.200 --> 00:11:56.000 WHEN YOU BECOME A SLAVE TO THE THING I GAVE YOU 00:11:56.100 --> 00:11:57.534 AND YOU'VE LOST YOUR AUTHORITY IN IT, 00:11:57.634 --> 00:11:59.267 YOU HAVE FEAR IN IT, 00:11:59.367 --> 00:12:01.133 LIKE FEAR OF HOW YOUR CHILDREN ARE GOING TO TURN OUT, 00:12:01.233 --> 00:12:03.033 OR FEAR THAT YOU DIDN'T DO A GOOD-ENOUGH JOB, 00:12:03.133 --> 00:12:06.267 OR FEAR THAT YOU WON'T BE ENOUGH FOR THEM AS A MOM, 00:12:06.367 --> 00:12:08.034 AND SO YOU CATER TO THEM, 00:12:08.134 --> 00:12:10.467 YOU -- I HAVE A LIST HERE OF THINGS THAT 00:12:10.567 --> 00:12:14.766 MOMS MIGHT BE DOING TO ACTUALLY IDENTIFY, 00:12:14.866 --> 00:12:16.267 OKAY, YOUR KIDS MIGHT BE AN IDOL IF... 00:12:16.367 --> 00:12:16.934 WE CAN GO OVER THAT LIST IF YOU WANT. 00:12:17.034 --> 00:12:18.167 >> YEAH. GO FOR IT. 00:12:18.267 --> 00:12:21.567 >> OKAY. SO, IDOLS WILL ALWAYS HAVE AN ELEMENT OF FEAR 00:12:21.667 --> 00:12:27.200 BECAUSE REMEMBER WHATEVER WE IDOLIZE, WE SERVE. 00:12:27.300 --> 00:12:29.034 IT BECOMES OUR MASTER. 00:12:29.134 --> 00:12:31.900 NO LONGER IS GOD THE ONE CALLING THE SHOTS. 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:36.000 WE HAVE TO CONSULT OUR IDOLS WHEN WE MAKE DECISIONS. 00:12:36.100 --> 00:12:38.166 AND SO I KNOW AS A MOM, 00:12:38.266 --> 00:12:40.700 ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS FOR ME TO DO 00:12:40.800 --> 00:12:43.967 IS ALLOW MY KIDS TO EXPERIENCE PAIN. 00:12:44.067 --> 00:12:50.200 SO, THAT'S A SIGN THAT I HAVE AN IDOL. 00:12:50.300 --> 00:12:51.267 OKAY. 00:12:51.367 --> 00:12:52.967 NOW, TO KIND OF REVERSE-ENGINEER THIS 00:12:53.067 --> 00:12:54.734 A LITTLE BIT. 00:12:54.834 --> 00:12:56.933 WHERE DO IDOLS COME FROM? 00:12:57.033 --> 00:12:57.933 SO I JUST ANSWERED THE QUESTION LIKE, 00:12:58.033 --> 00:12:58.967 HOW DO WE KNOW IF IT'S AN IDOL. 00:12:59.067 --> 00:13:01.100 IT'S FEAR, YOU'RE KIND OF IN BONDAGE TO IT. 00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:03.467 YOU HAVE TO SERVE IT BECAUSE IDOLS HAVE TO BE FED. 00:13:03.567 --> 00:13:04.767 OKAY, THEY HAVE TO BE FED. 00:13:04.867 --> 00:13:06.700 THEY HAVE TO BE SERVED AND THEY BECOME YOUR MASTER. 00:13:06.767 --> 00:13:09.200 AND THERE'S AN OBLIGATION THAT COMES WITH IDOLS. 00:13:09.300 --> 00:13:10.833 IF YOU'VE LOST THE JOY OF MOTHERHOOD AND YOUR KIDS 00:13:10.933 --> 00:13:12.700 KIND OF FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ENSLAVED TO IT, 00:13:12.800 --> 00:13:14.834 THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'VE BECOME AN IDOL. 00:13:14.934 --> 00:13:18.900 BUT IDOLS, THE REASON WE GRAB THEM 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:22.333 IS BECAUSE THEY COME AS A SOURCE 00:13:22.433 --> 00:13:25.800 OF COMFORT, COUNTERFEIT COMFORT 00:13:25.900 --> 00:13:28.700 FROM UNRESOLVED TRAUMA. 00:13:28.800 --> 00:13:31.533 SO WHEN WE HAVE UNRESOLVED TRAUMA, 00:13:31.633 --> 00:13:34.667 WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO COMFORT US IMMEDIATELY. 00:13:34.767 --> 00:13:35.667 SO IT WOULD BE LIKE I'M SO THIRSTY. 00:13:35.767 --> 00:13:36.733 I'M SO THIRSTY. 00:13:36.833 --> 00:13:39.733 I JUST GRAB A COKE AND I DRINK IT, AND INITIALLY, 00:13:39.833 --> 00:13:41.800 I'M LIKE, OH, THAT MADE ME FEEL BETTER. 00:13:41.900 --> 00:13:42.766 TEN MINUTES LATER, 00:13:42.866 --> 00:13:45.133 I'M MORE DEHYDRATED THAN I WAS BEFORE. 00:13:45.233 --> 00:13:48.600 SO IT'S THE GRABBING OF SOMETHING TO EASE PAIN. 00:13:48.700 --> 00:13:49.733 >> THAT'S COUNTERFEIT. 00:13:49.833 --> 00:13:50.600 >> THAT'S COUNTERFEIT. 00:13:50.700 --> 00:13:54.233 SO OUR IDOLS WILL SHOW UP 00:13:54.333 --> 00:13:58.367 WHEN WE HAVE A TRAUMA THAT JESUS NEEDS INVITED INTO, 00:13:58.467 --> 00:14:02.066 AND HE HASN'T YET BECOME THE ONE WE WORSHIP 00:14:02.166 --> 00:14:03.033 TO EASE THE PAIN. 00:14:03.133 --> 00:14:06.267 EXAMPLE: MY PARENTS WERE SAVED 00:14:06.367 --> 00:14:07.666 IN THE JESUS MOVEMENT. 00:14:07.766 --> 00:14:10.067 THEY BROUGHT ME TO THE LORD, BUT AT FIVE YEARS OLD, 00:14:10.167 --> 00:14:11.900 THEY SPLIT UP. 00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:14.367 SEVEN YEARS OLD, GOT A DIVORCE. 00:14:14.467 --> 00:14:15.833 AND THEN REMARRIED, DIVORCED, 00:14:15.933 --> 00:14:18.200 REMARRIED, DIVORCED MULTIPLE TIMES. 00:14:18.300 --> 00:14:20.733 I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE. 00:14:20.833 --> 00:14:23.034 OKAY, SO I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY THAT LIVES 00:14:23.134 --> 00:14:23.933 UNDER ONE ROOF. 00:14:24.033 --> 00:14:24.933 I GET ON AN AIRPLANE. 00:14:25.033 --> 00:14:26.966 I FLY TO SEE MY DAD AT EIGHT YEARS OLD, 00:14:27.066 --> 00:14:28.767 NINE YEARS OLD, TEN YEARS OLD. 00:14:28.867 --> 00:14:30.067 WHEN I HAVE KIDS, REBECCA, 00:14:30.167 --> 00:14:33.300 NOW, THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY DEMONIC. 00:14:33.400 --> 00:14:35.100 MY FIRST DAUGHTER, I HOLD HER, 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:36.966 AND MY FIRST THOUGHT IS I WOULD DIE FOR YOU. 00:14:37.066 --> 00:14:38.300 I LOVE YOU. 00:14:38.400 --> 00:14:40.033 YOU'RE THE MOST AMAZING THING I'VE EVER SEEN. 00:14:40.133 --> 00:14:42.133 MY SECOND THOUGHT IS I WONDER IF 00:14:42.233 --> 00:14:44.600 SHE'S DISAPPOINTED IT'S ME? 00:14:44.700 --> 00:14:45.867 >> WOW. 00:14:45.967 --> 00:14:48.000 >> I WONDER IF SHE'LL WANT TO LEAVE ME ONE DAY. 00:14:48.100 --> 00:14:48.866 >> WOW. 00:14:48.966 --> 00:14:52.767 >> I REMEMBER HAVING SO MUCH FEAR 00:14:52.867 --> 00:14:56.767 THAT SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED THAT I WAS HER MOM. 00:14:56.867 --> 00:14:59.367 AND THEN ALL OF THAT CREPT UP BECAUSE I DIDN'T DEAL 00:14:59.467 --> 00:15:01.900 WITH IT HEAD-ON. 00:15:02.000 --> 00:15:04.800 AND I HAVE NOW THREE KIDS AT THE TIME, 00:15:04.900 --> 00:15:07.967 AND I FEEL LIKE I AM FAILING, 00:15:08.067 --> 00:15:09.333 AND THE VISION I SEE, 00:15:09.433 --> 00:15:11.733 IS MY KIDS BEING SCATTERED AND WE'RE GOING TO BE 00:15:11.833 --> 00:15:14.100 ONE OF THOSE FAMILIES THAT DON'T ENJOY EACH OTHER, 00:15:14.200 --> 00:15:16.000 DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER. 00:15:16.100 --> 00:15:18.400 AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE SHORT-LIVED 00:15:18.500 --> 00:15:20.300 UNTIL THEY'RE 18, TYPE OF THING. 00:15:20.400 --> 00:15:24.133 AND I'M SO TRAPPED IN THAT FEAR. 00:15:24.233 --> 00:15:26.700 SO THE MORE FEAR I HAD, 00:15:26.800 --> 00:15:31.667 THE MORE IT REINFORCED THE IDOLATRY I HAD ON MY KIDS. 00:15:31.767 --> 00:15:35.233 AND THEN I HAD FEAR AROUND SERVING THEM. 00:15:35.333 --> 00:15:39.733 NOW THE WAY I HAD TO RENOUNCE THAT IDOL, 00:15:39.833 --> 00:15:40.666 BUT I ALSO HAD TO GET THE TRUTH. 00:15:40.766 --> 00:15:42.200 AND GOD WAS LIKE, I DON'T MAKE MISTAKES. 00:15:42.300 --> 00:15:43.234 YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD MOM. 00:15:43.334 --> 00:15:44.200 >> YEAH. 00:15:44.300 --> 00:15:45.467 >> AND I HAD TO REINFORCE THE TRUTH IN ME, 00:15:45.567 --> 00:15:47.566 AND THAT'S A CONVERSATION FOR ANOTHER DAY. 00:15:47.666 --> 00:15:50.700 BUT IDOLS COME BECAUSE OF UNRESOLVED TRAUMA. 00:15:50.800 --> 00:15:51.834 SO IF SOMEBODY SAYS, YOU KNOW WHAT? 00:15:51.934 --> 00:15:54.700 I DO IDOLIZE MY HEALTH, 00:15:54.800 --> 00:15:56.433 LIKE IT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO ME 00:15:56.533 --> 00:15:57.533 THAN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. 00:15:57.633 --> 00:15:59.100 THE FIRST THING IS, YOU HAVE TO CONFESS IT. 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:01.667 YOU HAVE TO -- YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT, RIGHT? 00:16:01.767 --> 00:16:03.967 THEN YOU HAVE TO ASK GOD THE QUESTION, 00:16:04.067 --> 00:16:06.433 WHAT PAIN IS THAT ASSOCIATED WITH? 00:16:06.533 --> 00:16:10.433 SO I HAD AN EATING DISORDER WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE. 00:16:10.533 --> 00:16:11.833 I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID. 00:16:11.933 --> 00:16:13.034 I DIDN'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT I WAS FAT 00:16:13.134 --> 00:16:14.234 WHEN I WASN'T. 00:16:14.334 --> 00:16:15.700 I DIDN'T KNOW AT THE TIME. 00:16:15.800 --> 00:16:21.367 I DO NOW, BECAUSE MY DAD, AND I LOVE MY DAD, 00:16:21.467 --> 00:16:23.500 BUT HE NEVER TOLD ME ONCE THAT I WAS BEAUTIFUL 00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:26.034 AS A LITTLE GIRL THAT I REMEMBER. 00:16:26.134 --> 00:16:27.600 AND I REMEMBER HIM MAKING COMMENTS 00:16:27.700 --> 00:16:30.433 ABOUT PEOPLE WHO WERE OVERWEIGHT. 00:16:30.533 --> 00:16:34.900 I HAD MAJOR FEAR THAT I WOULDN'T BE LOVED 00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:36.067 >> YEAH. 00:16:36.167 --> 00:16:38.200 >> IF I WAS OVERWEIGHT. 00:16:38.300 --> 00:16:40.100 IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH DRESS SIZE. 00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:43.367 IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LIKE, LOVING EXERCISE. 00:16:43.467 --> 00:16:45.400 >> ALMOST LIKE THE REASON WHY YOU'RE STRUGGLING 00:16:45.500 --> 00:16:47.967 WITH YOUR FAMILY BEFORE YOU ADDRESSED THAT TRAUMA, 00:16:48.067 --> 00:16:49.967 WAS YOU DID NOT WANT TO HAVE YOUR KIDS BE RAISED 00:16:50.067 --> 00:16:51.733 IN A SITUATION LIKE YOU WERE RAISED IN. 00:16:51.833 --> 00:16:53.167 YOU DIDN'T WANT YOUR FAMILY TO BE SCATTERED 00:16:53.267 --> 00:16:53.867 LIKE YOUR FAMILY WAS SCATTERED. 00:16:53.967 --> 00:16:54.933 >> YEAH. 00:16:55.033 --> 00:16:57.800 I WAS CONSTANTLY IN FEAR I WAS DOING IT WRONG. 00:16:57.900 --> 00:16:59.834 >> SO THE TRICKY THING ABOUT THIS AND THAT'S WHY 00:16:59.934 --> 00:17:01.500 THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT, 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:04.000 IS IT CAN BE A GOOD THING THAT YOU WANT. 00:17:04.100 --> 00:17:05.600 I WANT MY FAMILY TO BE WHOLE. 00:17:05.700 --> 00:17:07.400 LIKE ABRAHAM, I WANT A SON. 00:17:07.500 --> 00:17:09.666 YOU KNOW, EVEN THE GOD DREAMS AND THE GOD PROMISES 00:17:09.766 --> 00:17:12.666 HE GIVES US, BUT WE CAN'T MAKE THEM AN IDOL. 00:17:12.766 --> 00:17:14.200 BECAUSE THE MOMENT WE MAKE THEM AN IDOL 00:17:14.300 --> 00:17:16.300 AND WE EXALT THEM ABOVE GOD, 00:17:16.400 --> 00:17:17.533 WE'RE NOW ENSLAVED TO THOSE THINGS 00:17:17.633 --> 00:17:20.233 AND WE'RE LIVING IN FEAR, AND WE LOSE OUR ABILITY 00:17:20.333 --> 00:17:21.800 TO BE POWERFUL AND EFFECTIVE. 00:17:21.900 --> 00:17:23.233 AND NOW WE ARE INEFFECTIVE 00:17:23.333 --> 00:17:26.366 AND WE'RE HURTING INSTEAD OF HELPING OUR FAMILIES. 00:17:26.466 --> 00:17:29.100 SO FOR PEOPLE, LIKE YOU SAID, THAT MAYBE 00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:30.300 THEY'RE LISTENING TO THIS AND THEY'RE THINKING, 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:32.333 OKAY, I HAVE AN IDOL. 00:17:32.433 --> 00:17:35.167 HOW DO THEY UNPACK THAT WITH THE LORD? 00:17:35.267 --> 00:17:37.066 DO THEY ASK, OKAY, GOD, 00:17:37.166 --> 00:17:37.934 WHERE DID THIS -- 00:17:38.034 --> 00:17:40.067 WHERE IS THIS STEMMING FROM? 00:17:40.167 --> 00:17:40.966 AND HOW DO THEY WALK THROUGH THAT? 00:17:41.066 --> 00:17:42.200 >> YEP. 00:17:42.300 --> 00:17:46.934 ASK WHAT PAIN IS THIS MASKING 00:17:47.034 --> 00:17:48.800 AND CONNECTED TO, EXACTLY. 00:17:48.900 --> 00:17:51.433 BECAUSE IF YOU GO BACK TO THAT, 00:17:51.533 --> 00:17:53.167 WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS GOING THROUGH SUCH HARD STUFF 00:17:53.267 --> 00:17:55.600 AND I HADN'T UNDERSTOOD REALLY THAT I HAD AN IDOL 00:17:55.700 --> 00:17:56.900 IN MY KIDS, 00:17:57.000 --> 00:17:58.333 AND, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST TEENAGER 00:17:58.433 --> 00:17:59.900 AND SHE'S A GIRL AND THERE'S HORMONES, 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:01.133 AND SHE'S GOING THROUGH STUFF. 00:18:01.233 --> 00:18:04.066 AND I REMEMBER I WAS ON MY SPIN BIKE AND I WAS LIKE, 00:18:04.166 --> 00:18:06.633 GOD, I SHOULD'VE TAKEN HER TO THE PARK MORE. 00:18:06.733 --> 00:18:08.234 I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS MORE. 00:18:08.334 --> 00:18:10.800 I PROBABLY DIDN'T DO THIS. 00:18:10.900 --> 00:18:14.466 AND THEN I RAN OUT OF ALL MY EYES AND GOD SAID 00:18:14.566 --> 00:18:16.900 IN ONLY THE WAY THAT HE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT, 00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:18.834 SAID GET OVER YOURSELF. 00:18:18.934 --> 00:18:21.967 AND I WAS LIKE, OH, OKAY. 00:18:22.067 --> 00:18:23.333 >> THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING TO HEAR. 00:18:23.433 --> 00:18:28.100 >> AND HE SAID, JENNY, ALL OF THIS POINTS TO 00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:30.600 WHERE YOU HAVEN'T YET BEEN HEALED. 00:18:30.700 --> 00:18:32.733 THIS IS ACTUALLY NOT ABOUT HER. 00:18:32.833 --> 00:18:35.067 SHE'S A YOUNG GIRL WHO HAS A DESTINY ON HER LIFE 00:18:35.167 --> 00:18:37.700 AND THE DEVIL'S JOB IS TO ATTACK HER. 00:18:37.800 --> 00:18:40.633 SHE'S LIKE ANYBODY ELSE WHO LOVES ME, 00:18:40.733 --> 00:18:43.167 AND SHE WILL LEARN TO WARFARE. 00:18:43.267 --> 00:18:45.934 BUT RIGHT NOW THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, 00:18:46.034 --> 00:18:46.867 HOW YOU FEEL. 00:18:46.967 --> 00:18:49.400 THIS IS ABOUT THE FEAR THAT YOU HAVE 00:18:49.500 --> 00:18:52.200 NOT BEEN HEALED FROM FROM YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD. 00:18:52.300 --> 00:18:53.100 >> WOW. 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:54.267 >> ALL OF SUDDEN I GOT MY POWER BACK. 00:18:54.367 --> 00:18:56.500 BECAUSE I CAN'T CONTROL A 13 YEAR OLD. 00:18:56.600 --> 00:18:58.234 BUT I COULD SAY, OKAY, 00:18:58.334 --> 00:19:00.700 WHAT PART OF ME, GOD, IS NOT YET HEALED? 00:19:00.800 --> 00:19:02.733 AND I HAD TO GO BACK AND FORGIVE MY MOM. 00:19:02.833 --> 00:19:04.633 FORGIVE MY DAD AGAIN. 00:19:04.733 --> 00:19:07.467 I HAD TO WALK THROUGH THE DENIAL 00:19:07.567 --> 00:19:08.433 I WAS IN. 00:19:08.533 --> 00:19:09.367 YOU KNOW, I WAS ALWAYS LIKE 00:19:09.467 --> 00:19:10.934 OH, ALL THAT PAIN FROM MY CHILDHOOD 00:19:11.034 --> 00:19:11.800 JUST MADE ME BETTER. 00:19:11.900 --> 00:19:13.133 YOU KNOW, I USED ALL OF THAT TO SAY 00:19:13.233 --> 00:19:14.567 IT ALL MADE ME BETTER, MADE ME BETTER. 00:19:14.667 --> 00:19:16.334 AND GOD'S LIKE, NO, I ACTUALLY GRIEVED ABOUT IT. 00:19:16.434 --> 00:19:18.933 IT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY TO THINK THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE 00:19:19.033 --> 00:19:21.233 A HOME OF A MOM AND DAD THAT COULD TAKE CARE OF YOU 00:19:21.333 --> 00:19:22.200 GROWING UP. 00:19:22.300 --> 00:19:24.467 AND I HAD TO GET REAL, REBECCA, 00:19:24.567 --> 00:19:26.100 I HAD TO GET REAL WITH MYSELF. 00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:27.567 TAKE OFF THE MASK. 00:19:27.667 --> 00:19:31.233 AND ACTUALLY CRY FOR ME AS A 13 YEAR OLD 00:19:31.333 --> 00:19:32.400 THAT DIDN'T HAVE A DAD. 00:19:32.500 --> 00:19:34.733 HE'S LIKE WHAT ABOUT YOU AT 13? 00:19:34.833 --> 00:19:37.134 AND SO, YOU KNOW, IT FEELS BETTER 00:19:37.234 --> 00:19:38.467 TO BE STRONG AND POWERFUL. 00:19:38.567 --> 00:19:39.533 AND THE LORD -- 00:19:39.633 --> 00:19:41.567 >> BECAUSE YOU CAN CONTROL THAT FIRST MOMENT, 00:19:41.667 --> 00:19:43.500 BUT IT WON'T ACTUALLY WORK LONG TERM. 00:19:43.600 --> 00:19:44.700 >> YEP. 00:19:44.800 --> 00:19:47.334 AND I THINK THAT WHEN WE GO TOWARDS THE PAINFUL THING, 00:19:47.434 --> 00:19:49.634 IT FEELS LIKE WE'LL NEVER RECOVER. 00:19:49.734 --> 00:19:51.533 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL BAD FOR MYSELF. 00:19:51.633 --> 00:19:52.333 IT WAS LIKE OH, GOD FORBID, 00:19:52.433 --> 00:19:53.700 I'VE BECOME A VICTIM, RIGHT, 00:19:53.800 --> 00:19:56.867 BUT GOD WAS LIKE, NO, I NEED YOU TO SEE YOURSELF 00:19:56.967 --> 00:19:59.534 AS A 13 YEAR OLD AGAIN AND I WANT TO HEAL 00:19:59.634 --> 00:20:03.800 THAT 13 YEAR OLD WHO NEEDED A DAD. 00:20:03.900 --> 00:20:06.333 YOU KNOW, GOD'S LIKE I WILL NEVER SAY THAT IT WAS 00:20:06.433 --> 00:20:08.633 BETTER FOR YOU NOT TO HAVE A DAD IN THE HOME. 00:20:08.733 --> 00:20:10.266 >> YEAH. THAT WASN'T HIS PLAN FOR YOU. 00:20:10.366 --> 00:20:11.434 >> EXACTLY. 00:20:11.534 --> 00:20:14.433 BUT HE CAN MOVE IN SPITE OF THE BROKENNESS IN OUR LIVES 00:20:14.533 --> 00:20:16.133 AND HE CAN RESTORE AND HE CAN HEAL. 00:20:16.233 --> 00:20:18.067 BUT WHAT YOU'RE TAPPING ON, I FEEL LIKE THIS IS 00:20:18.167 --> 00:20:19.066 LIKE THE THIRD TIME. 00:20:19.166 --> 00:20:19.967 IT'S INTERESTING. 00:20:20.067 --> 00:20:21.100 I'VE HEARD SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THIS. 00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:22.100 MAYBE IN THE LAST WEEK, 00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:23.933 I ACTUALLY HEARD A GUY ON ANOTHER PODCAST 00:20:24.033 --> 00:20:26.934 TALKING ABOUT THIS VERY THING WHERE WE HAVE TRAUMA 00:20:27.034 --> 00:20:28.100 IN OUR LIVES, 00:20:28.200 --> 00:20:30.300 IT'S LIKE WE HAVE THIS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP 00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:31.600 THAT WE BUILD WITH JESUS. 00:20:31.700 --> 00:20:33.766 WE BUILD THIS PLACE OF TRUST, AND THEN IN 00:20:33.866 --> 00:20:35.700 THE RIGHT TIMING, KIND OF LIKE AN ONION, 00:20:35.800 --> 00:20:38.967 LAYER BY LAYER HE BEGINS TO ADDRESS THESE THINGS. 00:20:39.067 --> 00:20:41.500 AND HIS MERCY AND HIS WAY AND HIS TIMING. 00:20:41.600 --> 00:20:44.267 AND YOU INVITE GOD INTO THOSE MOMENTS IN YOUR LIFE 00:20:44.367 --> 00:20:46.600 AND YOU REALIZE AND IT'S LIKE ANY TIME SOMEONE 00:20:46.700 --> 00:20:47.600 PRAYS THIS PRAYER, 00:20:47.700 --> 00:20:48.233 YOU KNOW, GOD, WHERE WERE YOU? 00:20:48.333 --> 00:20:49.500 WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 00:20:49.600 --> 00:20:51.400 HE WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THOSE PAINFUL MOMENTS 00:20:51.500 --> 00:20:53.400 AND HE WAS GRIEVING FOR YOU BECAUSE HE NEVER 00:20:53.500 --> 00:20:54.567 WANTED THAT FOR YOU. 00:20:54.667 --> 00:20:55.533 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 00:20:55.633 --> 00:20:57.167 >> AND WHEN YOU'RE ABLE TO PROCESS IT, 00:20:57.267 --> 00:21:00.134 IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS LONG INTENSE PROCESS, 00:21:00.234 --> 00:21:02.766 BUT YOU NEED TO PROCESS IT WITH THE LORD. 00:21:02.866 --> 00:21:04.934 AND THEN WHEN YOU PROCESS IT, YOU CAN GET HEALING. 00:21:05.034 --> 00:21:06.400 AND THEN YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD. 00:21:06.500 --> 00:21:07.900 BUT IF YOU JUST TRY TO SLAP A BAND-AID ON IT 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:10.067 AND SAY, OH, I'M FINE. 00:21:10.167 --> 00:21:10.833 I'M GOING TO PUSH FORWARD 00:21:10.933 --> 00:21:12.466 THEN WORK THROUGH IT. 00:21:12.566 --> 00:21:14.967 AND THIS IS THE THING, BECAUSE THIS HAPPENED TO ME. 00:21:15.067 --> 00:21:17.767 WHEN WE GET MARRIED AND WHEN WE HAVE CHILDREN, 00:21:17.867 --> 00:21:21.267 WHATEVER WAS UNDERNEATH THE SURFACE OF OUR CHILDHOOD, 00:21:21.367 --> 00:21:22.866 IT COMES UP TO THE SURFACE. 00:21:22.966 --> 00:21:24.367 BECAUSE I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD MY FIRST, 00:21:24.467 --> 00:21:26.734 I WAS LIKE, OH, MY GOSH. 00:21:26.834 --> 00:21:28.300 IT WAS -- I WAS TERRIFIED. 00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:29.766 >> BECAUSE WE'RE OUT OF CONTROL. 00:21:29.866 --> 00:21:30.667 >> EXACTLY. 00:21:30.767 --> 00:21:31.600 >> WE'RE TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER LIFE 00:21:31.700 --> 00:21:32.667 AND WE'RE COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL. 00:21:32.767 --> 00:21:36.033 AND ALL OF OUR MECHANISMS TO COPE AND CONTROL 00:21:36.133 --> 00:21:37.600 ARE TAKEN AWAY FROM US. 00:21:37.700 --> 00:21:38.900 >> THAT'S TRUE. 00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:39.667 >> AND THAT'S WHY IT'S SO GOOD 00:21:39.767 --> 00:21:40.634 TO HAVE A LOT OF CHILDREN. 00:21:40.734 --> 00:21:42.433 >> YEAH. IT IS. 00:21:42.533 --> 00:21:45.033 >> AND THAT'S WHAT'S BEAUTIFUL ABOUT MARRIAGE 00:21:45.133 --> 00:21:47.200 AND ABOUT HAVING -- BEAUTIFUL ABOUT FAMILY, 00:21:47.300 --> 00:21:48.466 HAVING KIDS, 00:21:48.566 --> 00:21:52.233 IS THAT IT CAN MAKE YOU MORE WHOLE IF YOU ALLOW GOD 00:21:52.333 --> 00:21:54.033 TO MAKE YOU WHOLE THROUGH IT. 00:21:54.133 --> 00:21:55.567 NOT THAT THEY, THE PEOPLE, MAKE YOU WHOLE, 00:21:55.667 --> 00:21:57.966 BUT MEANING THAT THEY WILL HIGHLIGHT THINGS 00:21:58.066 --> 00:22:00.100 WITHIN YOURSELF AND THEN YOU CAN GO TO GOD AND SAY, 00:22:00.200 --> 00:22:01.134 OKAY, WHAT IS THIS? 00:22:01.234 --> 00:22:02.333 >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:22:02.433 --> 00:22:04.833 >> AND HE BRINGS YOU UP TO THAT PLACE. 00:22:04.933 --> 00:22:05.667 >> TOTALLY. 00:22:05.767 --> 00:22:06.500 AND WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IS 00:22:06.600 --> 00:22:08.233 THE PROCESS OF SURRENDER. 00:22:08.333 --> 00:22:11.600 SO I THINK AS WE HAVE CHILDREN AND, YOU KNOW, 00:22:11.700 --> 00:22:13.500 GO THROUGH MARRIAGE AND WE'RE BUILDING THIS FAMILY, 00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:15.333 I THINK WE EITHER OVER TIME -- 00:22:15.433 --> 00:22:16.867 THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS NEUTRAL. 00:22:16.967 --> 00:22:19.767 WE EITHER GET HARD-HEARTED OVER TIME, 00:22:19.867 --> 00:22:22.100 MORE AND MORE AND MORE HARD-HEARTED, 00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:23.800 OR WE GET MORE TENDER. 00:22:23.900 --> 00:22:25.234 WE GET MORE COMPASSIONATE. 00:22:25.334 --> 00:22:27.234 WE GET MORE UNDERSTANDING. 00:22:27.334 --> 00:22:28.933 AND FOR ANYBODY LISTENING TO THIS, 00:22:29.033 --> 00:22:30.933 IT'S LIKE, OH, MAN, MY KIDS ARE GROWN UP, 00:22:31.033 --> 00:22:33.800 BUT I SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER, AND, YOU KNOW, 00:22:33.900 --> 00:22:35.200 ALL OF THAT'S FEAR TOO. 00:22:35.300 --> 00:22:36.400 ALL OF THAT'S GUILT. 00:22:36.500 --> 00:22:38.733 YOU KNOW, GOD HAD KIDS THAT KILLED EACH OTHER. 00:22:38.833 --> 00:22:39.566 OKAY. 00:22:39.666 --> 00:22:41.066 AND GOD DID THE PERFECT THING. 00:22:41.166 --> 00:22:42.600 HE GAVE THEM THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THE RIGHT THING, 00:22:42.700 --> 00:22:44.766 BUT GOD NEVER CONTROLLED ANYBODY. 00:22:44.866 --> 00:22:46.966 AND SO WE CAN'T CONTROL OUTCOMES EITHER. 00:22:47.066 --> 00:22:49.600 WE CAN ONLY GIVE OUR KIDS OPPORTUNITY. 00:22:49.700 --> 00:22:53.933 BUT, YOU KNOW, MOTHERHOOD IS SUCH AN INCREDIBLE INVITATION 00:22:54.033 --> 00:22:55.733 TO WHOLENESS BECAUSE IT WILL EXPOSE, 00:22:55.833 --> 00:22:58.033 SO WILL MARRIAGE, 00:22:58.133 --> 00:23:01.533 IT WILL EXPOSE THE AREAS THAT WE'VE BEEN HIDING 00:23:01.633 --> 00:23:03.767 FROM OURSELVES THAT ARE REALLY, REALLY PAINFUL. 00:23:03.867 --> 00:23:06.434 BUT LIKE YOU SAID, GOD WILL OPEN IT UP LIKE AN ONION. 00:23:06.534 --> 00:23:08.300 AND GOD IS SO GOOD BECAUSE WE'LL BE LIKE, 00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:09.900 MAN, I'M DOING SO GOOD AND A COUPLE YEARS LATER 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:13.433 HE'S LIKE, SO, JENNY, HOW ABOUT... 00:23:13.533 --> 00:23:15.200 I'M LIKE, OH, WOW. OKAY, 00:23:15.300 --> 00:23:16.934 [ LAUGHTER ] 00:23:17.034 --> 00:23:19.300 YEAH, BUT NOW, I'M NOT AFRAID OF THAT PROCESS ANYMORE 00:23:19.400 --> 00:23:21.567 BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE QUICKSAND TO ME. 00:23:21.667 --> 00:23:22.867 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M SINKING. 00:23:22.967 --> 00:23:25.634 NO, IT'S LIKE ACTUALLY I'M BUILT UP 00:23:25.734 --> 00:23:30.134 MORE IN GOD WHEN THOSE PAIN POINTS 00:23:30.234 --> 00:23:32.000 GET EXPOSED BY GOD. 00:23:32.100 --> 00:23:33.433 YOU KNOW, NOT BY THE WORLD, BUT BY GOD. 00:23:33.533 --> 00:23:35.467 >> EXACTLY. AND I WOULD JUST ENCOURAGE PEOPLE 00:23:35.567 --> 00:23:39.834 NOT TO FALL INTO THE TRAP OF TAKING THIS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS 00:23:39.934 --> 00:23:42.300 AND TRYING TO DO IT YOURSELF AND TRYING TO FIX 00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:44.034 IT ALL AT ONCE BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING, 00:23:44.134 --> 00:23:44.934 I WAS AFRAID. 00:23:45.034 --> 00:23:47.033 I WAS AFRAID OF MY OWN BROKENNESS. 00:23:47.133 --> 00:23:48.200 AND I REMEMBER THINKING, 00:23:48.300 --> 00:23:50.000 OKAY, I HAVE MY TOOLS, LIKE I WENT TO CHURCH 00:23:50.100 --> 00:23:51.333 AND I LEARNED ABOUT INNER HEALING AND I REMEMBER 00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:53.000 THEM SAYING THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. 00:23:53.100 --> 00:23:54.867 AND THEY SAY SO MANY PEOPLE COME TO THE CHURCH THINKING, 00:23:54.967 --> 00:23:56.734 I'M GOING TO LEARN HOW TO DO THIS AND I'M GOING TO DO THIS, 00:23:56.834 --> 00:23:58.467 AND HE SAID, THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS. 00:23:58.567 --> 00:24:00.767 IT'S A JOURNEY AND IT'S LEARNING TO INVITE GOD 00:24:00.867 --> 00:24:03.167 IN TO YOUR HEART AND WORK THROUGH THESE THINGS, 00:24:03.267 --> 00:24:05.733 AND WHAT SCRIPTURE SAYS ABOUT FORGIVENESS AND JUDGMENT 00:24:05.833 --> 00:24:06.667 AND ALL THESE THINGS. 00:24:06.767 --> 00:24:07.833 BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT THESE TOOLS 00:24:07.933 --> 00:24:09.533 THAT YOU DO YOURSELF. 00:24:09.633 --> 00:24:12.333 IT'S REALLY SURRENDERING TO GOD. 00:24:12.433 --> 00:24:13.434 BUT GOD REALLY BROUGHT ME OUT OF A PLACE 00:24:13.534 --> 00:24:14.933 OF HE'S NOT INTIMIDATED BY 00:24:15.033 --> 00:24:16.967 OUR BROKENNESS AND HE IS FAITHFUL TO COMPLETE 00:24:17.067 --> 00:24:18.733 THE WORK THAT HE BEGINS IN US. 00:24:18.833 --> 00:24:21.300 WE REALLY NEED TO JUST SURRENDER, OPEN OURSELVES UP, 00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:24.634 AND TRUST HIM AND ALLOW HIM TO DO THE WORK WITHIN US, 00:24:24.734 --> 00:24:28.000 AND NOT RUN AWAY OR HIDE OR BE ASHAMED BECAUSE 00:24:28.100 --> 00:24:29.666 THE ENEMY USES ALL THESE THINGS TO, YOU KNOW, 00:24:29.766 --> 00:24:32.000 PARALYZE US WITH FEAR OR FEEL SHAME 00:24:32.100 --> 00:24:34.267 SO WE DON'T OPEN UP AND TALK TO GOD ABOUT IT, 00:24:34.367 --> 00:24:36.233 BUT THE BEST THING WE CAN DO IS GET INTO 00:24:36.333 --> 00:24:37.734 THAT DIALOGUE WITH HIM. 00:24:37.834 --> 00:24:38.833 >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:24:38.933 --> 00:24:42.566 AND WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IS WAITING WELL. 00:24:42.666 --> 00:24:45.333 SO IN OUR ANXIETY, WHEN WE'RE STARTING 00:24:45.433 --> 00:24:46.833 TO FEEL RESTLESS OR WHATEVER, 00:24:46.933 --> 00:24:48.167 AND WE HAVE A GO-TO THAT WE REACH FOR. 00:24:48.267 --> 00:24:49.300 >> YEAH. 00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:51.100 >> WHETHER IT'S, YOU KNOW, SOCIAL MEDIA 00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:53.900 OR GETTING LOST IN SOMETHING THAT'S NOT EVIL. 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:56.167 I MEAN, SURE, THERE'S SIN AND THAT'S A CONVERSATION 00:24:56.267 --> 00:24:58.833 TO BE HAD, BUT TODAY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE THINGS 00:24:58.933 --> 00:25:01.867 THAT GOD ACTUALLY GIVES US THAT ARE POSITIVE TOOLS 00:25:01.967 --> 00:25:04.167 AND MARRIAGES AND KIDS AND ALL THAT. 00:25:04.267 --> 00:25:05.267 SO CAN YOU WAIT WELL? 00:25:05.367 --> 00:25:06.700 HERE'S ONE EXAMPLE. 00:25:06.800 --> 00:25:08.900 THE ISRAELITES, OKAY, 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:12.100 SO PHARAOH AND ALL HIS ARMY 00:25:12.200 --> 00:25:13.333 GET SWALLOWED UP IN THE SEA. 00:25:13.433 --> 00:25:14.900 THEY GO ACROSS DRY LAND. 00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:16.466 THEY LOOK BACK AND ALL OF THEIR ENEMIES 00:25:16.566 --> 00:25:17.567 ARE SWALLOWED UP. 00:25:17.667 --> 00:25:19.233 ALL OF A SUDDEN, THEY'RE FREE. 00:25:19.333 --> 00:25:21.366 THEY'RE FREE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND THEY'VE BEEN SLAVES 00:25:21.466 --> 00:25:23.734 FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. 00:25:23.834 --> 00:25:25.400 TWO WEEKS LATER, 00:25:25.500 --> 00:25:28.066 THEY CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 00:25:28.166 --> 00:25:30.100 IN THEIR ANXIETY, RIGHT, BECAUSE ALL THEY KNOW 00:25:30.200 --> 00:25:31.667 FROM THEIR PAST IS SLAVERY. 00:25:31.767 --> 00:25:33.200 SO WHAT DID THEY DO? 00:25:33.300 --> 00:25:35.067 THEY MADE A GOLDEN CALF 00:25:35.167 --> 00:25:36.867 BECAUSE MOSES WAS TAKING TOO LONG. 00:25:36.967 --> 00:25:38.600 HE WENT UP THE MOUNTAIN AND THEY WERE LIKE, 00:25:38.700 --> 00:25:40.833 HE'S NOT DOWN HERE YET, 00:25:40.933 --> 00:25:42.734 AND THEY WERE WAITING FOR A MAN 00:25:42.834 --> 00:25:44.100 TO BE THEIR MASTER. 00:25:44.200 --> 00:25:45.634 THEY WERE WAITING FOR MOSES TO BE THEIR MASTER, 00:25:45.734 --> 00:25:46.733 AND HE WASN'T COMING FAST ENOUGH. 00:25:46.833 --> 00:25:50.333 SO THEY HAD TO MAKE SOMETHING TO LORD OVER THEM. 00:25:50.433 --> 00:25:51.867 THAT'S WHAT IDOLS DO. 00:25:51.967 --> 00:25:55.933 WE REACH FOR THEM WHEN WE CANNOT -- 00:25:56.033 --> 00:25:59.767 WE CAN'T WAIT AND ALLOW FREEDOM 00:25:59.867 --> 00:26:02.200 TO ACTUALLY TAKE ROOT, 00:26:02.300 --> 00:26:03.600 AND THAT'S WHAT THE WAITING DOES. 00:26:03.700 --> 00:26:05.100 THE WAITING IS IN THAT LIKE, OKAY, GOD, 00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:06.733 I REALLY WANT SOMETHING TO LIKE 00:26:06.833 --> 00:26:09.300 NUMB THIS PAIN OR TAKE THIS AWAY. 00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:11.500 AND GOD IS LIKE IF YOU'LL WAIT FOR ME. 00:26:11.600 --> 00:26:12.767 >> AND TRUST HIM. 00:26:12.867 --> 00:26:14.767 >> YEAH, I'LL COME. 00:26:14.867 --> 00:26:16.400 I TELL PEOPLE, LISTEN, LIKE I TOLD SOMEBODY 00:26:16.500 --> 00:26:17.800 WHO'S ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL BEFORE, 00:26:17.900 --> 00:26:19.367 I'M LIKE, YOU'RE GONNA BASICALLY JUST HAVE TO 00:26:19.467 --> 00:26:21.833 SAY TO GOD, HEY, RIGHT NOW 00:26:21.933 --> 00:26:24.067 I ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT ALCOHOL 00:26:24.167 --> 00:26:26.067 WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER THAN YOU CAN. 00:26:26.167 --> 00:26:27.666 I MEAN, YOU'RE GREAT AND EVERYTHING, 00:26:27.766 --> 00:26:30.133 BUT I ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN THIS MOMENT, 00:26:30.233 --> 00:26:32.000 IF I TAKE A DRINK, 00:26:32.100 --> 00:26:33.900 THEN I'M GOING TO BE -- 00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:35.267 MY PAIN IS GOING TO BE RELIEVED. 00:26:35.367 --> 00:26:37.400 AND I ACTUALLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL 00:26:37.500 --> 00:26:38.567 DO THAT FOR ME. 00:26:38.667 --> 00:26:41.467 BUT I'M GOING TO TAKE A RISK RIGHT NOW. 00:26:41.567 --> 00:26:42.900 AND, YOU KNOW, THEY MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE A WALK. 00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:46.334 THEY MIGHT HAVE TO WHATEVER, BUT IF SOMEBODY 00:26:46.434 --> 00:26:51.700 WAITS FOR GOD AND SAYS I WILL NOT GRAB THE THING 00:26:51.800 --> 00:26:53.467 THAT'S LESSER THAN A, SOMETHING THAT WOULD 00:26:53.567 --> 00:26:55.267 RULE OVER ME, A COUNTERFEIT LOVE. 00:26:55.367 --> 00:26:57.200 I WILL WAIT FOR YOU. 00:26:57.300 --> 00:26:58.034 HE WILL COME. 00:26:58.134 --> 00:26:59.233 AND THE REASON I KNOW THAT IS 00:26:59.333 --> 00:27:01.600 BECAUSE HE DID IT FOR ME OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 00:27:01.700 --> 00:27:06.200 SO YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SIT INSIDE THE PAIN, 00:27:06.300 --> 00:27:08.300 THE SLAVERY OF YOUR PAST. 00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:11.000 AND THEN SAY, GOD, CAN YOU COMFORT ME? 00:27:11.100 --> 00:27:12.167 ARE YOU THE GOD OF COMFORT, 00:27:12.267 --> 00:27:15.200 OR IS THAT JUST LIKE A REALLY COOL INSTAGRAM POST? 00:27:15.300 --> 00:27:16.800 OH, YOU'RE THE GOD OF COMFORT, BUT ARE YOU? 00:27:16.900 --> 00:27:19.134 BECAUSE I NEED COMFORT RIGHT NOW. 00:27:19.234 --> 00:27:20.300 AND HE WILL DO THAT. 00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:21.500 HE WON'T DO IT IN YOUR TIME. 00:27:21.600 --> 00:27:23.167 HE WON'T DO IT IN YOUR FORMULA. 00:27:23.267 --> 00:27:25.534 YOU KNOW, HE'LL PROBABLY SURPRISE YOU 00:27:25.634 --> 00:27:27.100 AND DO IT A DIFFERENT WAY. 00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:31.434 BUT HE WILL COMFORT US WHEN WE CALL OUT TO HIM. 00:27:31.534 --> 00:27:33.500 >> AND THAT REALLY, IT'S A CHOICE. 00:27:33.600 --> 00:27:34.534 BECAUSE I JUST WENT THROUGH A -- 00:27:34.634 --> 00:27:35.933 LIKE A HARD SEASON OF DEALING WITH THAT. 00:27:36.033 --> 00:27:38.167 AND IT WAS LIKE EVERY TIME SOMETHING ROSE UP, 00:27:38.267 --> 00:27:40.100 IT WAS LIKE ARE YOU GOING TO TURN TO 00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:41.134 SOME OF THESE COMFORTS, LIKE YOU SAID, 00:27:41.234 --> 00:27:42.534 THEY'RE NOT SINFUL. 00:27:42.634 --> 00:27:44.167 OR ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO HIM? 00:27:44.267 --> 00:27:49.367 AND I HAD TO LEARN YOU CAN GO TO THESE THINGS, 00:27:49.467 --> 00:27:51.000 BUT THEY'RE NOT GOING TO FIX IT. 00:27:51.100 --> 00:27:53.466 THEY'RE JUST GOING TO TEMPORARILY NUMB IT, 00:27:53.566 --> 00:27:54.667 BUT GOING TO HIM, 00:27:54.767 --> 00:27:56.100 YOU WILL ACTUALLY GET BREAKTHROUGH. 00:27:56.200 --> 00:27:57.267 YOU'LL ACTUALLY GET HEALING. 00:27:57.367 --> 00:27:59.033 YOU'LL ACTUALLY GET WHAT YOU NEED. 00:27:59.133 --> 00:28:01.000 AND YOUR FLESH WILL RESIST IT, 00:28:01.100 --> 00:28:01.967 EVEN FOR LIKE AS LONG AS 00:28:02.067 --> 00:28:02.967 I'VE WALKED WITH THE LORD, 00:28:03.067 --> 00:28:04.400 IT'S LIKE, OH, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE GETTING TO 00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:06.267 THE SECRET PLACE, YOU HAVE TO SOMETIMES SIT THERE. 00:28:06.367 --> 00:28:07.267 YOU HAVE TO BE STILL, 00:28:07.367 --> 00:28:09.100 YOU HAVE TO WAIT ON GOD, 00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:12.000 BUT IT'S WORTH IT GOING WITH HIM. 00:28:12.100 --> 00:28:14.066 AND GOING WITH HIM YOU WILL GET THE BREAKTHROUGH 00:28:14.166 --> 00:28:15.734 AND THE HEALING AND THE ANSWERS, 00:28:15.834 --> 00:28:17.833 EVEN THE WISDOM THAT YOU NEED 00:28:17.933 --> 00:28:19.833 AND YOU REALLY WILL NOT FIND PEACE. 00:28:19.933 --> 00:28:21.667 AND, SEE, WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE 00:28:21.767 --> 00:28:23.333 TALKING ABOUT THE ISRAELITES IN THE WILDERNESS. 00:28:23.433 --> 00:28:25.666 THAT'S SUCH A GOOD EXAMPLE OF AN INNER HEALING JOURNEY 00:28:25.766 --> 00:28:27.134 BECAUSE YOU CAN BE PHYSICALLY DELIVERED 00:28:27.234 --> 00:28:29.134 FROM A PLACE, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE DELIVERED ALSO 00:28:29.234 --> 00:28:30.333 IN YOUR SOUL. 00:28:30.433 --> 00:28:32.533 AND THEY WERE CARRYING THAT SLAVERY IDENTITY, 00:28:32.633 --> 00:28:33.900 THAT SLAVERY MENTALITY. 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:35.700 AND THEY HAD SO MUCH FEAR. 00:28:35.800 --> 00:28:38.767 AND THE REASON WHY I THINK THEY TURNED TO 00:28:38.867 --> 00:28:40.967 BUILDING THE GOLDEN CALF WAS BECAUSE 00:28:41.067 --> 00:28:43.467 THEY DIDN'T KNOW GOD PERSONALLY 00:28:43.567 --> 00:28:45.300 AND GOD WANTED TO KNOW THEM INTIMATELY, 00:28:45.400 --> 00:28:46.767 BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW HIM 00:28:46.867 --> 00:28:49.333 AND SO THEY HAD THAT FEAR. 00:28:49.433 --> 00:28:51.267 AND SO YOU HAVE TO COME TO A PLACE OF 00:28:51.367 --> 00:28:53.334 KNOWING GOD TO REALLY WALK IN 00:28:53.434 --> 00:28:55.666 THIS KIND OF LIKE FREEDOM WITH HIM; 00:28:55.766 --> 00:28:57.167 YOU HAVE TO HAVE THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. 00:28:57.267 --> 00:28:58.200 >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:28:58.300 --> 00:29:00.367 >> IT JUST CAN'T BE A RELIGIOUS -- 00:29:00.467 --> 00:29:02.467 >> BECAUSE RELIGION CAN BE AN IDOL. 00:29:02.567 --> 00:29:03.400 >> IT'S A HUGE IDOL. 00:29:03.500 --> 00:29:04.667 >> HUGE IDOL. 00:29:04.767 --> 00:29:06.700 BUT GOD WILL NOT BE IN A RELIGIOUS FORMULA. 00:29:06.800 --> 00:29:08.467 HE WILL NOT BE A LOGO OF A CHURCH. 00:29:08.567 --> 00:29:12.466 OUR MINISTRIES CAN EASILY BECOME IDOLS, RIGHT. 00:29:12.566 --> 00:29:13.467 THE THING THAT GOD BLESSED US WITH, 00:29:13.567 --> 00:29:15.333 LIKE WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT TODAY. 00:29:15.433 --> 00:29:16.966 BUT HE -- 00:29:17.066 --> 00:29:18.433 >> THAT'S WHY THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT. 00:29:18.533 --> 00:29:19.500 >> IT'S SO IMPORTANT. 00:29:19.600 --> 00:29:22.033 >> BECAUSE IT'S LIKE GOD WILL GIVE YOU 00:29:22.133 --> 00:29:23.300 THESE GOD DREAMS. 00:29:23.400 --> 00:29:25.233 HE'LL GIVE YOU THESE GOD BLESSINGS 00:29:25.333 --> 00:29:28.633 LIKE FAMILY, BUT UNINTENTIONALLY 00:29:28.733 --> 00:29:29.633 BECAUSE YOUR MOTIVES CAN BE GOOD, 00:29:29.733 --> 00:29:30.867 YOUR INTENTIONS CAN BE GOOD, 00:29:30.967 --> 00:29:32.733 BUT OVER TIME, THROUGH FEAR AND LIKE YOU SAID, 00:29:32.833 --> 00:29:34.033 UNRESOLVED TRAUMA, 00:29:34.133 --> 00:29:35.267 IT CAN BECOME AN IDOL. 00:29:35.367 --> 00:29:36.934 AND THEN THE VERY THING THAT 00:29:37.034 --> 00:29:38.434 YOU'RE MEANT TO STEWARD WELL, 00:29:38.534 --> 00:29:41.266 YOU ARE NOW LIVING IN FEAR, AND SLAVERY, TOO. 00:29:41.366 --> 00:29:42.700 AND THEN IT STARTS TO HURT THOSE THINGS 00:29:42.800 --> 00:29:43.966 THAT YOU'RE CALLED TO, 00:29:44.066 --> 00:29:45.933 OR LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE, MINISTRY. 00:29:46.033 --> 00:29:47.667 IF YOU ARE DOING MINISTRY FOR MINISTRY 00:29:47.767 --> 00:29:49.234 AND NO LONGER FOR HIM, 00:29:49.334 --> 00:29:50.234 THAT'S AN IDOL. 00:29:50.334 --> 00:29:51.300 >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:29:51.400 --> 00:29:52.400 >> AND ON THE OUTSIDE IT WILL ALL LOOK GOOD 00:29:52.500 --> 00:29:54.267 AND THERE STILL CAN BE GOOD FRUIT, 00:29:54.367 --> 00:29:55.734 BECAUSE GOD WILL MOVE THROUGH THINGS 00:29:55.834 --> 00:29:56.867 BECAUSE GOD LOVES PEOPLE, 00:29:56.967 --> 00:29:58.766 HE WANTS TO TOUCH PEOPLE. 00:29:58.866 --> 00:30:01.234 BUT EVENTUALLY THAT'S GOING TO COME CRUMBLING DOWN. 00:30:01.334 --> 00:30:02.767 >> AND YOU LOSE YOUR FREEDOM BECAUSE, REMEMBER, 00:30:02.867 --> 00:30:04.900 IDOLS TAKE AWAY YOUR FREEDOM. 00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:06.034 YOU BECOME A SLAVE. 00:30:06.134 --> 00:30:08.233 YOU BECOME A BOND SERVANT. 00:30:08.333 --> 00:30:10.100 NOBODY EVER WANTS TO GET IN A MINISTRY AND SAY, 00:30:10.200 --> 00:30:13.867 I REALLY HOPE THIS THING LIKE BOSSES ME AROUND 00:30:13.967 --> 00:30:15.500 24 HOURS A DAY. 00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:17.534 I REALLY HOPE I LOSE MY LOVE FOR GOD, 00:30:17.634 --> 00:30:20.100 AND THIS THING ACTUALLY DRIVES ME TO FEAR 00:30:20.200 --> 00:30:22.633 AND WORRY AND PANIC AND ANXIETY. 00:30:22.733 --> 00:30:24.334 NOBODY EVER WANTS THAT AND SIGNS UP FOR THAT. 00:30:24.434 --> 00:30:29.166 YOU HAVE TO BE SUPER CAREFUL ABOUT ANY BLESSING 00:30:29.266 --> 00:30:31.167 BECOMING A MASTER. 00:30:31.267 --> 00:30:32.167 SO YOU ASKED EARLIER, 00:30:32.267 --> 00:30:33.500 HOW DO WE BREAK THAT? 00:30:33.600 --> 00:30:35.300 YOU ACTUALLY ANSWERED THE QUESTION. 00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:36.700 ONE PRACTICAL THING WE CAN DO IS 00:30:36.800 --> 00:30:38.600 RENOUNCE IT WITH OUR LIPS, WITH OUR MOUTH. 00:30:38.700 --> 00:30:40.667 I RENOUNCE THE IDOL OF MY CHILDREN. 00:30:40.767 --> 00:30:45.000 GOD, I REPENT FOR PUTTING MY CHILDREN IN A PLACE 00:30:45.100 --> 00:30:47.733 WHERE I HAVE FEARED OUTCOMES. 00:30:47.833 --> 00:30:51.200 I HAVE FEARED THE BLESSING AND SO, GOD, 00:30:51.300 --> 00:30:55.033 I LAY THEM ON THE ALTAR JUST LIKE ABRAHAM DID. 00:30:55.133 --> 00:30:57.000 AND THEN THE SECOND THING YOU SAID WAS 00:30:57.100 --> 00:31:00.267 BE WILLING TO GET TO KNOW GOD. 00:31:00.367 --> 00:31:01.533 BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T KNOW GOD, 00:31:01.633 --> 00:31:03.633 YOU'RE JUST GOING TO PICK UP ANOTHER IDOL, 00:31:03.733 --> 00:31:04.800 OR THE SAME ONE AS BEFORE. 00:31:04.900 --> 00:31:06.933 BECAUSE KNOWING GOD IS WHEN YOU GO, 00:31:07.033 --> 00:31:10.534 WOW, THERE IS NOTHING THAT COMPARES TO THIS LOVE. 00:31:10.634 --> 00:31:13.500 WHEN YOU KNOW GOD INTIMATELY, 00:31:13.600 --> 00:31:15.467 YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THE OTHER STUFF. 00:31:15.567 --> 00:31:17.033 ALL THAT STUFF IS LIKE, I'LL STEWARD THAT 00:31:17.133 --> 00:31:19.267 THAT'S AN ASSIGNMENT, BUT IF GOD SAID, 00:31:19.367 --> 00:31:21.900 JENNY, I WANT YOU TO HAND HER VOICE MOVEMENT 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:23.000 OVER ME TODAY. 00:31:23.100 --> 00:31:24.166 I'D SAY OKAY, BECAUSE THAT'S NOT MY IDENTITY. 00:31:24.266 --> 00:31:25.700 IT'S NOT -- IT'S NOT AN IDOL. 00:31:25.800 --> 00:31:28.667 IT'S MY ASSIGNMENT THAT I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR, 00:31:28.767 --> 00:31:31.267 BUT WHEN WE HAVE GOD, WE CAN'T LOSE 00:31:31.367 --> 00:31:34.334 BECAUSE WE CAN'T LOSE HIM, RIGHT? 00:31:34.434 --> 00:31:36.766 SO WE CAN NEVER LOSE WHEN WE HAVE HIM 00:31:36.866 --> 00:31:39.000 AS OUR NUMBER ONE. 00:31:39.100 --> 00:31:41.767 SO REPENTING WITH RENOUNCING, 00:31:41.867 --> 00:31:44.267 I'M A BIG BELIEVER IN THAT WITH YOUR MOUTH. 00:31:44.367 --> 00:31:47.834 AND THEN ASKING GOD, I NEED TO KNOW YOU. 00:31:47.934 --> 00:31:48.767 I WANT TO KNOW YOU. 00:31:48.867 --> 00:31:49.767 I'M GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU. 00:31:49.867 --> 00:31:50.734 I'M GOING TO DO THE HARD THING. 00:31:50.834 --> 00:31:52.100 IT'S KIND OF LIKE BACK IN THE DAY, 00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:53.667 YOU'RE PROBABLY TOO YOUNG FOR THIS, 00:31:53.767 --> 00:31:57.300 BUT WE HAD CARS WITHOUT POWER STEERING. 00:31:57.400 --> 00:31:58.967 SO YOU'D TURN THE WHEEL, 00:31:59.067 --> 00:32:02.167 IT'S LIKE YOU HAD TO FORCE IT SOMETIMES, 00:32:02.267 --> 00:32:03.400 BECAUSE IT WAS, IT DIDN'T JUST TURN 00:32:03.500 --> 00:32:05.067 LIKE CARS DO NOW, ALL CARS. 00:32:05.167 --> 00:32:06.133 YOU KNOW, JUST TURN. 00:32:06.233 --> 00:32:08.100 YOU HAD TO WORK AT IT, RIGHT. 00:32:08.200 --> 00:32:12.200 AND SO THAT IS HOW THE FLESH FEELS WHEN YOU'RE SAYING, 00:32:12.300 --> 00:32:16.134 I'M PUTTING THIS DOWN AND I AM GOING TO GO 00:32:16.234 --> 00:32:18.000 IN A NEW DIRECTION. 00:32:18.100 --> 00:32:18.900 >> YEAH. 00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:20.167 AND I THINK ONE OF THE VERSES 00:32:20.267 --> 00:32:23.300 THAT'S COMING TO MIND THAT GOD SPOKE TO ME 00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:25.900 WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER, 00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:29.200 IT WAS JEREMIAH, I THINK IT'S 17, 00:32:29.300 --> 00:32:32.333 AND IT SAYS -- THE ONE THAT MOST PEOPLE KNOW 00:32:32.433 --> 00:32:34.067 IS BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN GOD. 00:32:34.167 --> 00:32:36.833 HE WILL BE LIKE A TREE WHOSE ROOTS GO DOWN DEEP. 00:32:36.933 --> 00:32:39.400 IT WON'T FEAR DROUGHT OR WEATHER THAT COMES. 00:32:39.500 --> 00:32:40.833 ITS LEAVES STAY GREEN. 00:32:40.933 --> 00:32:43.634 BUT BEFORE THAT IN VERSE 5 IT SAYS, 00:32:43.734 --> 00:32:46.300 CURSED IS THE MAN WHO TRUSTS IN MAN. 00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:47.400 >> WOW. 00:32:47.500 --> 00:32:49.867 >> BUT THAT MAN CAN ALSO BE YOURSELF. 00:32:49.967 --> 00:32:51.767 AND SO ONE OF THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS 00:32:51.867 --> 00:32:53.334 THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE 00:32:53.434 --> 00:32:57.600 IS THIS UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR TRUST 00:32:57.700 --> 00:33:00.766 IN ANYTHING OR ANY PERSON, INCLUDING YOURSELF. 00:33:00.866 --> 00:33:03.967 AND GOD IS TOO GOOD THAT IF YOU ARE DOING THAT, 00:33:04.067 --> 00:33:07.834 HE WILL UNCOVER THAT, MAYBE EVEN REMOVE THAT THING 00:33:07.934 --> 00:33:09.866 FROM YOUR LIFE AND IT COULD BE PAINFUL, 00:33:09.966 --> 00:33:12.400 BUT IT'S ACTUALLY HIM BEING A LOVING FATHER, 00:33:12.500 --> 00:33:14.200 BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE YOU -- 00:33:14.300 --> 00:33:16.166 HE DOESN'T WANT US TO LIVE IN BONDAGE 00:33:16.266 --> 00:33:17.433 TO ANYTHING. 00:33:17.533 --> 00:33:20.100 HE WANTS US TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS OUR SOURCE 00:33:20.200 --> 00:33:23.100 AND THAT NO MATTER IN LIFE, 00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:24.367 WHAT MAY COME OR MAY GO, HE IS ALL THAT WE NEED 00:33:24.467 --> 00:33:25.667 BECAUSE IF WE'RE IN THAT PLACE, 00:33:25.767 --> 00:33:28.333 WE'LL BE HEALTHY AND WE'LL STEWARD THINGS WELL. 00:33:28.433 --> 00:33:30.267 AND WE'LL LIVE IN WORSHIP TO HIM AND HIM ALONE. 00:33:30.367 --> 00:33:32.833 BUT THE MOMENT WE START HAVING IDOLS AND WE START 00:33:32.933 --> 00:33:36.567 PUTTING OUR HOPE IN PEOPLE OR THINGS AND SYSTEMS, 00:33:36.667 --> 00:33:39.667 THAT'S WHEN WE MOVE INTO IDOLATRY. 00:33:39.767 --> 00:33:40.667 >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:33:40.767 --> 00:33:42.967 LIKE LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH OUR KIDS. 00:33:43.067 --> 00:33:44.667 REALLY DEMANDING BEHAVIOR OUT OF THEM 00:33:44.767 --> 00:33:45.967 LIKE MY DREAM. 00:33:46.067 --> 00:33:47.100 I NEEDED THEM TO LOVE ME. 00:33:47.200 --> 00:33:49.100 THAT IS SO OPPOSITE FROM JESUS. 00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:50.700 HE JUST STAYS LOVE. 00:33:50.800 --> 00:33:51.666 HE JUST GAVE LOVE. 00:33:51.766 --> 00:33:55.334 HE DIDN'T REQUIRE A RECIPROCATED LOVE, 00:33:55.434 --> 00:33:57.034 A RECIPROCATED COMMITMENT. 00:33:57.134 --> 00:33:58.666 AND THIS IS WHAT WE'RE CALLED TO, 00:33:58.766 --> 00:34:00.100 IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE MEANING, 00:34:00.200 --> 00:34:02.400 I'M GONNA LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME 00:34:02.500 --> 00:34:05.166 A SINGLE OUNCE BACK. 00:34:05.266 --> 00:34:07.934 THAT'S HOW WE KNOW WHETHER WE HAVE AN IDOL OR NOT. 00:34:08.034 --> 00:34:10.567 DO WE REQUIRE OUR CHILDREN TO BEHAVE A CERTAIN WAY? 00:34:10.667 --> 00:34:12.300 DO WE, YOU KNOW, AND OF COURSE WHAT -- 00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:14.233 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LIKE DISCIPLESHIP 00:34:14.333 --> 00:34:16.067 AND TEACHING THEM HOW TO LIKE 00:34:16.167 --> 00:34:17.700 SIT AT A RESTAURANT AND NOT TEAR IT UP. 00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:19.434 YOU KNOW, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT. 00:34:19.534 --> 00:34:23.466 I'M TALKING ABOUT MY KIDS MUST PERFORM THIS WAY, 00:34:23.566 --> 00:34:25.800 OR I CAN'T LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO LIVE IT. 00:34:25.900 --> 00:34:29.233 MY KIDS MUST DO THIS FOR ME, 00:34:29.333 --> 00:34:31.600 OR I WON'T BE ABLE TO BE HAPPY. 00:34:31.700 --> 00:34:34.900 AGAIN, IT'S RESERVING HAPPINESS FOR ANYTHING OR ANY PURPOSE 00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:35.900 FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN GOD. 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:37.233 I'LL READ THESE THINGS. 00:34:37.333 --> 00:34:38.400 >> YEAH, I WAS GONNA ASK YOU. 00:34:38.500 --> 00:34:39.833 I WANTED YOU TO GO THROUGH THIS LIST, BECAUSE I KNOW 00:34:39.933 --> 00:34:41.333 PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE WANTING TO HEAR IT. 00:34:41.433 --> 00:34:42.800 >> YEAH, WE SAID IT SO WE BETTER GIVE IT. 00:34:42.900 --> 00:34:45.134 SO YOUR CHILD HAS PROBABLY BECOME AN IDOL 00:34:45.234 --> 00:34:47.133 IN YOUR LIFE, 00:34:47.233 --> 00:34:48.666 THESE ARE KIND OF THE MARKERS. 00:34:48.766 --> 00:34:50.034 IF YOU LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THEM, 00:34:50.134 --> 00:34:51.800 AND I ALREADY MENTIONED THAT ONE. 00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:54.700 IT'S ONE THING TO CHEER YOUR KIDS ON, 00:34:54.800 --> 00:34:57.300 AND IT'S ANOTHER THING TO ATTEMPT TO RELIVE YOUR PAST 00:34:57.400 --> 00:34:59.200 THROUGH YOUR CHILDREN, RIGHT? 00:34:59.300 --> 00:35:01.566 IT'S NOT OUR LIFE, IT'S THEIRS. 00:35:01.666 --> 00:35:04.766 THE SECOND MARKER HERE IS YOU COMPROMISE YOUR STANDARDS 00:35:04.866 --> 00:35:07.333 FOR THEIR COMFORT. 00:35:07.433 --> 00:35:09.100 AND SO I WOULD SAY, YOU KNOW, 00:35:09.200 --> 00:35:12.133 I TELL MY KIDS, GOD'S GONNA TELL YOU LIKE 00:35:12.233 --> 00:35:15.567 GO LEFT OR RIGHT OR STOP DOING THAT, OR COME THIS WAY. 00:35:15.667 --> 00:35:19.634 AND IF YOU DON'T LISTEN, THEN HE'LL GIVE ME THE MEMO 00:35:19.734 --> 00:35:21.134 IN A DREAM A LOT OF TIMES, 00:35:21.234 --> 00:35:23.633 OR JUST IN, YOU KNOW, THAT DISCERNMENT. 00:35:23.733 --> 00:35:24.934 AND THEN DAD AND I STEP IN. 00:35:25.034 --> 00:35:27.333 AND IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO US, PAIN IS WAITING 00:35:27.433 --> 00:35:30.367 TO HELP YOU GET BACK ON TRACK. 00:35:30.467 --> 00:35:31.567 AND YET AS A PARENT, 00:35:31.667 --> 00:35:34.966 IF WE SHIELD OUR CHILDREN FROM THAT PAIN, 00:35:35.066 --> 00:35:36.967 ALL WE'LL DO IS BEAT THEM DOWN 00:35:37.067 --> 00:35:39.400 WITH OUR WORDS AND THEY'RE GOING TO START 00:35:39.500 --> 00:35:41.434 BACKING UP FROM US, LIKE IN THE DREAM 00:35:41.534 --> 00:35:43.833 WHEN MY CHILDREN LOOKED LIKE PLASTIC, INANIMATE OBJECTS 00:35:43.933 --> 00:35:45.533 BECAUSE THEY WERE IDOLS. 00:35:45.633 --> 00:35:46.700 >> THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING WHEN YOU SAID THAT. 00:35:46.766 --> 00:35:49.600 >> SO NOW IF I DON'T LET THEM EXPERIENCE PAIN, 00:35:49.700 --> 00:35:51.567 THAT MEANS I ACTUALLY DON'T TRUST GOD, 00:35:51.667 --> 00:35:53.000 BECAUSE OF MY OWN UNRESOLVED TRAUMA. 00:35:53.100 --> 00:35:55.667 SEE, IT JUST CIRCLES BACK AROUND, RIGHT? 00:35:55.767 --> 00:35:57.400 >> CAN YOU GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, 00:35:57.500 --> 00:36:01.000 OF WHAT YOU JUST SAID. 00:36:01.100 --> 00:36:02.834 NOT LETTING YOUR CHILDREN EXPERIENCE PAIN. 00:36:02.934 --> 00:36:05.434 >> YEAH. OKAY. 00:36:05.534 --> 00:36:06.534 OKAY. THIS HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY. 00:36:06.634 --> 00:36:09.000 SO MY SON HAS HIS MINISTRY. 00:36:09.100 --> 00:36:12.066 HE'S IN MINISTRY SCHOOL, COLLEGE, AND HE HAS 00:36:12.166 --> 00:36:13.500 THE REST OF HIS TUITION DUE. 00:36:13.600 --> 00:36:18.567 AND HE'S TEXTING ME, NOT HIS DAD. 00:36:18.667 --> 00:36:21.234 MOM, I NEED THE REST OF TUITION, RIGHT. 00:36:21.334 --> 00:36:22.600 AND SO I'M LIKE, OH, TEXT YOUR DAD. 00:36:22.700 --> 00:36:26.333 YEAH. AND SO HE TEXTED HIM AND I'M LIKE, 00:36:26.433 --> 00:36:27.167 HEY, DID YOU PAY THAT? 00:36:27.267 --> 00:36:29.266 AND HE'S LIKE, UNH-UH. 00:36:29.366 --> 00:36:30.267 I SAID WHY DIDN'T YOU PAY THAT? 00:36:30.367 --> 00:36:31.033 AND HE'S LIKE, I'M JUST GOING TO LET HIM 00:36:31.133 --> 00:36:31.700 SWEAT IT OUT A LITTLE BIT. 00:36:31.800 --> 00:36:33.633 I'M LIKE, WHY? 00:36:33.733 --> 00:36:34.434 WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM SWEAT? 00:36:34.534 --> 00:36:35.167 HE GOES, BECAUSE HE COULDN'T, 00:36:35.267 --> 00:36:36.167 YOU KNOW, HE'S 20 YEARS OLD. 00:36:36.267 --> 00:36:37.567 HE CAN THINK ABOUT HOW HE WANTS TO HELP 00:36:37.667 --> 00:36:38.467 CONTRIBUTE TO THIS. 00:36:38.567 --> 00:36:39.733 I'M LIKE, BUT DID YOU TELL HIM THAT, 00:36:39.833 --> 00:36:41.833 OR ARE WE JUST LIKE THROWING HIM IN THE DEEP END, 00:36:41.933 --> 00:36:43.334 OR DID WE PREPARE HIM? 00:36:43.434 --> 00:36:47.134 YOU KNOW, I'M LIKE HELP ME OUT HERE, YOU KNOW. 00:36:47.234 --> 00:36:50.833 AND MY SON ACTUALLY FEELS CALLED TO MOVE 00:36:50.933 --> 00:36:51.800 TO NEW YORK CITY. 00:36:51.900 --> 00:36:53.166 AND THIS MORNING, I EVEN WOKE UP GOING, 00:36:53.266 --> 00:36:57.266 GOD, WHAT WILL IT BE LIKE FOR MY SON TO LIVE ALL THE WAY 00:36:57.366 --> 00:36:59.334 ACROSS THE UNITED STATES IN NEW YORK CITY BY HIMSELF? 00:36:59.434 --> 00:37:00.334 >> I CAN'T IMAGINE. 00:37:00.434 --> 00:37:02.367 >> OH, I KNOW. AND I'M LIKE, LORD, 00:37:02.467 --> 00:37:04.666 THIS IS A SUPER BIG TRUST FOR ME FOR I THOUGHT 00:37:04.766 --> 00:37:06.434 THE MINISTRY, YOU KNOW, TUITION 00:37:06.534 --> 00:37:07.800 WAS ONE THING A WEEK AGO, BUT NOW, 00:37:07.900 --> 00:37:09.267 I'M LIKE, WAIT. HE WANTS TO GO TO NEW YORK. 00:37:09.367 --> 00:37:10.067 WHO'S HE GOING TO LIVE WITH? 00:37:10.167 --> 00:37:11.133 WHERE'S HE GOING TO GET A JOB? 00:37:11.233 --> 00:37:14.567 I'M TRYING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS THAT ACTUALLY 00:37:14.667 --> 00:37:15.900 HIM AND GOD ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SORT OUT. 00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:18.467 SO LETTING YOUR CHILDREN FAIL. 00:37:18.567 --> 00:37:21.600 SO SOMETIMES, REBECCA, AND I DON'T -- 00:37:21.700 --> 00:37:23.033 I WOULD QUESTION WHETHER THIS IS A GOOD IDEA 00:37:23.133 --> 00:37:24.334 FOR EVERYBODY OR NOT. 00:37:24.434 --> 00:37:25.967 BUT THIS IS WHAT HELPS ME. 00:37:26.067 --> 00:37:29.133 JENNY, WHAT'S THE WORST CASE SCENARIO? 00:37:29.233 --> 00:37:30.834 HE DOESN'T -- HE GETS TO NEW YORK CITY 00:37:30.934 --> 00:37:32.500 AND HE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB AND HE DOESN'T HAVE 00:37:32.600 --> 00:37:34.266 ANYPLACE TO LIVE. 00:37:34.366 --> 00:37:35.366 HE'S COMING HOME. 00:37:35.466 --> 00:37:36.400 OKAY. 00:37:36.500 --> 00:37:38.333 HE WON'T BE HOMELESS ON THE STREETS. 00:37:38.433 --> 00:37:41.134 YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO GO TO THE POINT OF LIKE, 00:37:41.234 --> 00:37:44.266 WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, RIGHT, 00:37:44.366 --> 00:37:48.300 BUT LETTING YOUR KIDS EXPERIENCE A CHALLENGE 00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:50.900 THAT MIGHT NOT WORK OUT FOR THEM. 00:37:51.000 --> 00:37:52.100 OKAY. 00:37:52.200 --> 00:37:53.833 AND HIM AND GOD ARE GOING TO HAVE TO WORK THIS OUT. 00:37:53.933 --> 00:37:55.600 SO THAT'S AN EXAMPLE THAT'S PRESENT DAY 00:37:55.700 --> 00:37:57.833 FOR ME RIGHT NOW. 00:37:57.933 --> 00:38:00.500 >> IT'S SO PIVOTAL THAT PARENTS ALLOW CHILDREN 00:38:00.600 --> 00:38:03.833 TO FALL AND GET HURT AND LEARN TO GET BACK UP. 00:38:03.933 --> 00:38:04.700 BECAUSE IF YOU'RE ALWAYS 00:38:04.800 --> 00:38:06.234 COMING IN TO RESCUE YOUR KIDS -- 00:38:06.334 --> 00:38:07.467 >> THEN YOU'RE GOD FOR THEM. 00:38:07.567 --> 00:38:08.633 >> YOU'RE GOD FOR THEM. 00:38:08.733 --> 00:38:10.200 >> HE DOESN'T HAVE TO GET ON HIS KNEES AND GO, 00:38:10.300 --> 00:38:11.266 GOD, I NEED A JOB. 00:38:11.366 --> 00:38:12.400 I CAME HERE. 00:38:12.500 --> 00:38:13.800 I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO WORK OUT AND IT DIDN'T, 00:38:13.900 --> 00:38:16.500 AND DON'T YOU WANT CHILDREN TO ACTUALLY 00:38:16.600 --> 00:38:18.900 CULTIVATE THEIR OWN DESPERATION. 00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:20.334 >> YEAH. AND LEARN TO DEPEND ON GOD 00:38:20.434 --> 00:38:21.467 AND NOT ON YOU. 00:38:21.567 --> 00:38:23.534 BUT NOT ONLY THAT, IT WILL BE PAINFUL FOR THEM 00:38:23.634 --> 00:38:25.533 AS THEY GET TO AN ADULT, BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE THEM 00:38:25.633 --> 00:38:27.400 THE ABILITY TO GROW UNDERNEATH YOUR ROOF. 00:38:27.500 --> 00:38:30.500 AND THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GROW EVENTUALLY. 00:38:30.600 --> 00:38:32.200 AND, LIKE YOU SAID, IF YOU'RE ALWAYS COMING IN 00:38:32.300 --> 00:38:33.300 TO SAVE THE DAY, 00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:34.400 THEN YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN 00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:36.434 THE OPPORTUNITY TO TURN TO THE LORD FOR HELP. 00:38:36.534 --> 00:38:40.100 AND THEN THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO HAVE THAT CONNECTION WITH HIM. 00:38:40.200 --> 00:38:41.967 >> PARENTS CAN BECOME IDOLS. 00:38:42.067 --> 00:38:42.866 BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS CAME THROUGH FOR YOU 00:38:42.966 --> 00:38:43.766 AND NOW YOU'RE -- 00:38:43.866 --> 00:38:44.867 >> EXACTLY. 00:38:44.967 --> 00:38:45.700 >> YOU KNOW, I MEAN, 00:38:45.800 --> 00:38:46.600 MAYBE YOU HAD SUCH GOOD PARENTS 00:38:46.700 --> 00:38:48.367 THAT NOW THEY'RE IDOLS. 00:38:48.467 --> 00:38:50.500 >> YEAH. AND BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS ALLOWING -- 00:38:50.600 --> 00:38:52.000 AND, HEY, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 00:38:52.100 --> 00:38:53.567 IF YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN, 00:38:53.667 --> 00:38:55.066 I'M NOT SAYING NOT BE THERE FOR YOUR KIDS, 00:38:55.166 --> 00:38:58.066 BUT IF YOU BECOME LIKE A GOD TO YOUR PARENT -- 00:38:58.166 --> 00:38:59.800 I MEAN, IF YOU BECOME A GOD TO YOUR CHILDREN, 00:38:59.900 --> 00:39:02.233 THAT WILL EVENTUALLY TURN INTO CODEPENDENCY. 00:39:02.333 --> 00:39:03.866 >> AND, YOU KNOW, EVERY PARENT I KNOW 00:39:03.966 --> 00:39:05.934 THAT RAISED THEIR KIDS THAT WAY, 00:39:06.034 --> 00:39:12.000 THEY WILL SAY THEY ACTUALLY HAVE LIKE A -- 00:39:12.100 --> 00:39:15.734 YEAH, I WANT TO USE THE RIGHT WORDS. 00:39:15.834 --> 00:39:17.567 A DISTASTE FOR THEIR OWN CHILDREN. 00:39:17.667 --> 00:39:19.267 >> YEAH, BECAUSE IT'S NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. 00:39:19.367 --> 00:39:21.533 >> THEY DON'T ENJOY THEIR OWN CHILDREN ANYMORE. 00:39:21.633 --> 00:39:22.267 THEY DON'T. 00:39:22.367 --> 00:39:23.367 >> THEY CAN'T CUT THE CORD. 00:39:23.467 --> 00:39:24.867 >> YEAH, YEAH. 00:39:24.967 --> 00:39:26.467 >> BECAUSE ONCE THAT CODEPENDENCY FORMS, 00:39:26.567 --> 00:39:28.866 UNTIL YOU CAN REPENT AND RENOUNCE IT, 00:39:28.966 --> 00:39:30.467 YOU'VE FORMED THIS NEW RELATIONSHIP 00:39:30.567 --> 00:39:32.000 WHERE IT'S LIKE THIS INTERDEPENDENCY 00:39:32.100 --> 00:39:33.734 AND IT'S NOT THE WAY GOD DESIGNED THINGS TO BE, 00:39:33.834 --> 00:39:36.300 BUT IT'S SO COMMON AND IT COMES -- 00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:38.266 I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE, IT COMES FROM A GOOD PLACE. 00:39:38.366 --> 00:39:41.100 THEY LOVE THEIR KIDS, BUT IT WILL BECOME A MONSTER 00:39:41.200 --> 00:39:42.133 IF YOU DON'T DEAL WITH IT. 00:39:42.233 --> 00:39:44.066 AND SO ONE OF THE BEST THINGS YOU CAN DO IS 00:39:44.166 --> 00:39:46.134 ALLOW YOUR KIDS TO LEARN, YOU KNOW, 00:39:46.234 --> 00:39:47.934 TO DEPEND ON THE LORD AND NOT TO TURN -- 00:39:48.034 --> 00:39:49.800 YOU'RE NOT ALWAYS EVEN GOING TO BE THERE. 00:39:49.900 --> 00:39:50.700 >> AND YOU, LIKE WITH LITTLE KIDS, 00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:51.633 YOU CAN START NOW. 00:39:51.733 --> 00:39:54.667 YOU CAN SEE WHAT MEASURE OF DISCOMFORT 00:39:54.767 --> 00:39:56.667 CAN I ALLOW THEM WHERE THEY'RE NOT GOING TO GET HURT, 00:39:56.767 --> 00:39:59.300 THERE'S NOTHING DANGEROUS ABOUT THIS, 00:39:59.400 --> 00:40:01.334 LIKE THE WORST CASE SCENARIO WAS WHAT? 00:40:01.434 --> 00:40:02.300 >> NO, IT'S LIKE SO GOOD. 00:40:02.400 --> 00:40:03.067 >> YEAH. 00:40:03.167 --> 00:40:04.700 >> I HAD DR. AMEN ON, 00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:07.467 AND HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT LIKE IF YOU 00:40:07.567 --> 00:40:10.433 DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR CHILDREN, 00:40:10.533 --> 00:40:11.467 LIKE THINKING ABOUT AS A PARENT, 00:40:11.567 --> 00:40:12.967 ALWAYS DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOUR KIDS. 00:40:13.067 --> 00:40:16.167 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ROBBING LIKE SELF-ESTEEM FROM THEM. 00:40:16.267 --> 00:40:17.733 >> A HUNDRED PERCENT. 00:40:17.833 --> 00:40:19.867 ABSOLUTELY. OUR TEN YEAR OLD RIGHT NOW, 00:40:19.967 --> 00:40:23.267 SHE REALLY WANTS TO COOK, AND SO I'M LIKE, 00:40:23.367 --> 00:40:24.867 I'M STANDING THERE GOING, OKAY, TURN. 00:40:24.967 --> 00:40:25.867 OKAY. THIS IS HOW YOU LIGHT THE GAS. 00:40:25.967 --> 00:40:26.833 THIS IS HOW YOU DO THE THING. 00:40:26.933 --> 00:40:29.000 AND SHE'S MAKING IT, AND WHEN SHE MADE 00:40:29.100 --> 00:40:30.234 HER OWN MAC AND CHEESE, NOW MIND YOU, 00:40:30.334 --> 00:40:32.267 IT CAME FROM THE SAME BOX THAT I ALWAYS MAKE. 00:40:32.367 --> 00:40:33.367 SHE'S LIKE, MOM, 00:40:33.467 --> 00:40:35.434 THIS IS THE BEST MACARONI AND CHEESE 00:40:35.534 --> 00:40:36.300 I'VE EVER HAD. 00:40:36.400 --> 00:40:37.667 AND I'M LIKE, OH, I BET IT IS. 00:40:37.767 --> 00:40:40.600 I BET IT'S THE BEST BECAUSE SHE MADE IT. 00:40:40.700 --> 00:40:41.700 >> IT'S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD. 00:40:41.800 --> 00:40:43.000 >> YEAH. AND SO NOW, IT'S LIKE, 00:40:43.100 --> 00:40:44.267 WOW, LOOK AT YOU. 00:40:44.367 --> 00:40:45.433 YOU FEEL SO PROUD OF YOURSELF. 00:40:45.533 --> 00:40:46.433 AND SO EVERYTHING THAT WE'RE SAYING 00:40:46.533 --> 00:40:48.200 IS SO MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE, 00:40:48.300 --> 00:40:51.900 BUT IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT WE DON'T 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:54.300 GET ON AUTOPILOT IN OUR UNRESOLVED TRAUMA 00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:55.833 AND RAISE OUR KIDS IN THE VERY SAME WAY THAT WE DIDN'T 00:40:55.933 --> 00:40:58.000 WANT TO RAISE OUR KIDS 'CAUSE IT'S HOW WE WERE RAISED. 00:40:58.100 --> 00:40:59.333 >> BECAUSE WHATEVER YOU'RE FOCUSED ON, 00:40:59.433 --> 00:41:01.434 THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO BECOME. 00:41:01.534 --> 00:41:03.433 SO IF YOU'RE FOCUS ISN'T ON JESUS, 00:41:03.533 --> 00:41:06.500 I LEARNED THIS ACTUALLY IN THE INNER HEALING 00:41:06.600 --> 00:41:07.700 AT MY CHURCH. 00:41:07.800 --> 00:41:09.467 THEY SAID IF YOU'RE FOCUSED ON LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE, 00:41:09.567 --> 00:41:11.300 YOU SAID YOU DON'T WANT YOUR FAMILY TO BE SCATTERED. 00:41:11.400 --> 00:41:13.200 IF THAT IS YOUR FOCUS, THAT BECOMES AN IDOL 00:41:13.300 --> 00:41:15.500 AND THAT USUALLY ENDS UP BEING THE RESULT. 00:41:15.600 --> 00:41:16.500 >> THAT'S IT. 00:41:16.600 --> 00:41:17.700 >> BECAUSE YOU BECOME WHAT YOU FOCUS ON. 00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:20.300 >> OKAY, SO IN THAT REGARD, FOR ANYBODY LISTENING, 00:41:20.400 --> 00:41:21.300 THIS WILL HELP THEM. 00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:22.867 SO A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE 00:41:22.967 --> 00:41:26.433 THAT'S LIKE SUPER SPIRITUALLY ROOTED WITH ME, 00:41:26.533 --> 00:41:29.334 SHE CALLED ME ONE DAY. SHE'S SOBBING. 00:41:29.434 --> 00:41:30.333 JENNY, I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD. 00:41:30.433 --> 00:41:31.634 I WAS PRAYING FOR YOU. 00:41:31.734 --> 00:41:34.000 I HAD TO PULL OVER I WAS CRYING SO HARD. 00:41:34.100 --> 00:41:35.600 SHE SAID I SAW A PICTURE OF YOUR FAMILY. 00:41:35.700 --> 00:41:38.200 THIS IS YEARS AGO, REBECCA. 00:41:38.300 --> 00:41:39.433 THERE WAS A PICTURE OF YOUR FAMILY. 00:41:39.533 --> 00:41:40.500 ALL OF YOUR KIDS WERE GROWN. 00:41:40.600 --> 00:41:42.200 YOU WERE STANDING ON A BEACH. 00:41:42.300 --> 00:41:45.500 JENNY, YOUR FAMILY WILL NEVER BE SCATTERED. 00:41:45.600 --> 00:41:47.066 YOU'RE ALL GOING TO STAY TOGETHER. 00:41:47.166 --> 00:41:49.400 I BEGAN CRYING AND THE LORD SAID TO ME, 00:41:49.500 --> 00:41:52.167 THAT IS YOUR NEW PICTURE. 00:41:52.267 --> 00:41:55.100 THAT IS YOUR NEW VISION OF YOUR FAMILY. 00:41:55.200 --> 00:41:57.667 AND IF YOU BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE, 00:41:57.767 --> 00:41:58.967 YOU'RE IN DISOBEDIENCE. 00:41:59.067 --> 00:42:00.667 I'VE GIVEN YOU A NEW VISION, 00:42:00.767 --> 00:42:02.467 AND THIS IS THE WAY IT IS. 00:42:02.567 --> 00:42:04.634 AND IT BROUGHT SO MUCH PEACE TO MY HEART. 00:42:04.734 --> 00:42:06.533 NO LONGER WAS I LIVING IN FEAR OF THAT, 00:42:06.633 --> 00:42:10.866 AND THAT BEGAN A JOURNEY OF FORGIVING PARENTS, 00:42:10.966 --> 00:42:12.634 FORGIVING MYSELF, 00:42:12.734 --> 00:42:14.434 YOU KNOW, IN MY CHILDHOOD AND ALL THE THINGS. 00:42:14.534 --> 00:42:16.600 BUT YOU KNOW AS SOON AS YOU START TAKING THE JOURNEY 00:42:16.700 --> 00:42:17.700 OF HEALING INWARDLY, 00:42:17.800 --> 00:42:18.800 IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS IS GOING TO BE 00:42:18.900 --> 00:42:19.766 SUCH A LONG JOURNEY. 00:42:19.866 --> 00:42:20.833 IT'S ACTUALLY NOT. 00:42:20.933 --> 00:42:22.634 IT WAS LONGER TO LIVE IN THE UNRESOLVED TRAUMA 00:42:22.734 --> 00:42:23.166 AND THE DYSFUNCTION. 00:42:23.266 --> 00:42:24.567 >> NO, IT'S TRUE. 00:42:24.667 --> 00:42:25.734 >> I POPPED RIGHT OUT OF THAT THING 00:42:25.834 --> 00:42:26.600 AND WENT, WOW, 00:42:26.700 --> 00:42:28.100 I'M ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD OF A MOM. 00:42:28.200 --> 00:42:30.933 I'M PROBABLY THE BEST, YOU KNOW, CHOICE THAT YOU GUYS HAVE 00:42:31.033 --> 00:42:32.866 AND I'M NOT PERFECT, AND, YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO 00:42:32.966 --> 00:42:34.600 APOLOGIZE ALONG THE WAY, BUT LET'S DO THIS THING. 00:42:34.700 --> 00:42:37.300 AND WE GOT ON A FAMILY MISSION AND WE BECAME HEALTHY 00:42:37.400 --> 00:42:38.934 AND FUNCTIONED HEALTHY AND I SAW FRUIT 00:42:39.034 --> 00:42:40.200 COME OUT OF MY KIDS 00:42:40.300 --> 00:42:41.767 >> YEAH. 00:42:41.867 --> 00:42:43.067 >> WHEN I DEALT WITH ME. 00:42:43.167 --> 00:42:44.267 IT WASN'T ABOUT THEM. 00:42:44.367 --> 00:42:45.567 LET ME FINISH THIS LIST BECAUSE I DON'T WANT 00:42:45.667 --> 00:42:46.466 TO LEAVE EVERYBODY HANGING. 00:42:46.566 --> 00:42:47.300 OKAY. 00:42:47.400 --> 00:42:48.433 NUMBER THREE IS 00:42:48.533 --> 00:42:50.533 YOU STOP HAVING THE TOUGH CONVERSATIONS, RIGHT? 00:42:50.633 --> 00:42:51.767 BECAUSE YOU WANT THINGS TO BE EASY FOR THEM. 00:42:51.867 --> 00:42:55.633 NUMBER FOUR, YOU SPEND EXCESSIVELY ON THEM 00:42:55.733 --> 00:42:56.967 TRYING TO WIN THEM OVER. 00:42:57.067 --> 00:42:57.966 >> WIN THEIR AFFECTION. 00:42:58.066 --> 00:42:59.133 >> YEP. 00:42:59.233 --> 00:43:02.934 YOU POINT THEM TOWARD YOUR DESIRES INSTEAD OF GOD'S. 00:43:03.034 --> 00:43:05.667 YOU'RE KIND OF WEIGHING IN A LITTLE HEAVY 00:43:05.767 --> 00:43:06.533 INSTEAD OF GOD. 00:43:06.633 --> 00:43:08.000 YOU CONSTANTLY WORRY ABOUT THEM. 00:43:08.100 --> 00:43:10.333 WORRY ALWAYS POINTS TO IDOLS. 00:43:10.433 --> 00:43:11.766 NUMBER SEVEN, YOU FEEL AN OVERWHELMING 00:43:11.866 --> 00:43:15.233 SENSE OF ABANDONMENT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM LEAVING. 00:43:15.333 --> 00:43:16.567 OKAY. 00:43:16.667 --> 00:43:19.700 AND THEN NUMBER EIGHT, YOU CONSISTENTLY SIDE WITH THEM 00:43:19.800 --> 00:43:22.367 INSTEAD OF YOUR SPOUSE. 00:43:22.467 --> 00:43:25.300 SO THOSE ARE JUST SOME MARKERS FOR PEOPLE TO GO, HMM, 00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:27.134 I MIGHT NEED TO RENOUNCE THIS AS AN IDOL. 00:43:27.234 --> 00:43:30.133 BECAUSE, AGAIN, NOT BECAUSE YOU KNOW 00:43:30.233 --> 00:43:32.534 IN THE SPIRIT OF RELIGION DON'T HAVE ANY IDOLS. 00:43:32.634 --> 00:43:33.366 IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT. 00:43:33.466 --> 00:43:34.900 IT'S ABOUT I DON'T WANT THE ENEMY 00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:36.567 TO HAVE ANY ACCESS TO MY FAMILY. 00:43:36.667 --> 00:43:40.233 I WANT TO SHUT DOWN EVERY GATE THAT THE ENEMY HAS 00:43:40.333 --> 00:43:42.367 COME IN TO DESTROY OUR RELATIONSHIPS, 00:43:42.467 --> 00:43:45.234 TO CAUSE PAIN, TO CAUSE CONFRONTATION, 00:43:45.334 --> 00:43:46.633 TO CAUSE THE STATIC, 00:43:46.733 --> 00:43:49.700 TO CAUSE THE SEPARATION BECAUSE THE IRONY IS 00:43:49.800 --> 00:43:51.833 THE TIGHTER WE HOLD ONTO OUR FAMILY, 00:43:51.933 --> 00:43:55.233 THE FURTHER WE SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER. 00:43:55.333 --> 00:43:57.767 SO THIS IS ACTUALLY HOW WE RECOVER OUR FAMILY 00:43:57.867 --> 00:44:00.934 IS BY LETTING THEM GO. 00:44:01.034 --> 00:44:02.500 I DON'T MEAN PRACTICALLY LIKE, SORRY, 00:44:02.600 --> 00:44:03.233 I CAN'T MAKE DINNER FOR YOU GUYS. 00:44:03.333 --> 00:44:04.967 YOU'RE NOT MY IDOL ANYMORE. 00:44:05.067 --> 00:44:08.100 I'M TALKING YOU STILL STEWARD, BUT YOU'RE NOT A SLAVE. 00:44:08.200 --> 00:44:10.500 YOU'RE NOT UNDER THE SPIRIT OF FEAR. 00:44:10.600 --> 00:44:13.567 >> YEAH, I'M JUST LIKE BACK HERE LIKE SHAKING MY HEAD 00:44:13.667 --> 00:44:15.600 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE SEEN THIS SO MUCH, 00:44:15.700 --> 00:44:19.600 AND IT'S LIKE THE MORE YOU TRY TO FORCE, EVEN LIKE 00:44:19.700 --> 00:44:22.567 FORCING YOUR KIDS TO GET ALONG EVEN AS ADULTS, 00:44:22.667 --> 00:44:24.700 IT'S JUST IF YOU CANNOT ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN 00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:26.500 TO BE ADULTS AND STEWARD THEIR OWN 00:44:26.600 --> 00:44:27.833 INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, 00:44:27.933 --> 00:44:29.766 IT'S JUST GOING TO CAUSE RESENTMENT 00:44:29.866 --> 00:44:31.033 AND ALL THOSE KINDS OF STUFF. 00:44:31.133 --> 00:44:34.566 YOU CAN'T -- YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO SURRENDER YOUR FAMILY 00:44:34.666 --> 00:44:38.033 AND ALLOW GOD AND TRUST GOD TO WORK IT THROUGH. 00:44:38.133 --> 00:44:40.867 BECAUSE ANYTHING DONE IN YOUR OWN STRENGTH 00:44:40.967 --> 00:44:42.500 IS NOT GOING TO STAND. 00:44:42.600 --> 00:44:44.134 >> THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. 00:44:44.234 --> 00:44:47.300 AND PARENTING IS NOT FOR WIMPS. 00:44:47.400 --> 00:44:48.200 >> YEAH. 00:44:48.300 --> 00:44:49.267 >> THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY. 00:44:49.367 --> 00:44:50.633 SO AS WE TALK ABOUT FAMILY AND PARENTING, 00:44:50.733 --> 00:44:53.766 JUST KNOW THAT IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE POWER OF GOD 00:44:53.866 --> 00:44:58.200 AND THROUGH SURRENDER AND ULTIMATELY TRUST, 00:44:58.300 --> 00:45:02.467 DO I TRUST GOD THAT HE CARES ABOUT MY KIDS, 00:45:02.567 --> 00:45:04.833 MY MARRIAGE MORE THAN I DO? 00:45:04.933 --> 00:45:07.367 AND IS HE JUST GOING TO LET THE BOTTOM FALL OUT ON ME? 00:45:07.467 --> 00:45:08.634 IF YOU SAY YES, 00:45:08.734 --> 00:45:10.633 I ACTUALLY BELIEVE HE IS GOING TO LEAVE ME, 00:45:10.733 --> 00:45:12.000 HE IS GOING TO LET THE BOTTOM FALL OUT, 00:45:12.100 --> 00:45:14.867 THAT POINTS YOU TO YOUR OWN TRAUMA. 00:45:14.967 --> 00:45:16.300 AND THAT'S A GREAT PLACE TO START. 00:45:16.400 --> 00:45:17.667 >> YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING. 00:45:17.767 --> 00:45:19.866 IF YOU HAVE A FEAR, 00:45:19.966 --> 00:45:22.734 THAT'S A GOOD LITTLE LIKE SIGNAL, 00:45:22.834 --> 00:45:24.167 LIKE IF YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT OR YOU HAVE A FEAR 00:45:24.267 --> 00:45:25.033 OR WORRY, OKAY, IT'S LIKE, 00:45:25.133 --> 00:45:26.300 OKAY, WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? 00:45:26.400 --> 00:45:27.467 IT'S FROM SOMEWHERE DEEPER. 00:45:27.567 --> 00:45:28.633 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 00:45:28.733 --> 00:45:30.300 >> AND THAT'S STUFF TO TAKE UP IN PRAYER WITH GOD, 00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:31.967 AND YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID OF THE BROKENNESS, 00:45:32.067 --> 00:45:33.467 BUT YOU CAN JUST GO TO HIM AND SAY, 00:45:33.567 --> 00:45:35.000 OKAY, WHERE IS THIS STEMMING FROM? 00:45:35.100 --> 00:45:36.833 BUT, YEAH, IT'S SUCH A POWERFUL THING. 00:45:36.933 --> 00:45:38.966 YOU KNOW, THE THING IS, TOO, LIKE IT'S INTERESTING, 00:45:39.066 --> 00:45:41.200 BECAUSE I JUST ACTUALLY HAD THIS BREAKTHROUGH 00:45:41.300 --> 00:45:42.434 IN UNDERSTANDING WITH MY KIDS, 00:45:42.534 --> 00:45:43.567 BECAUSE JONATHAN CAN TELL YOU, 00:45:43.667 --> 00:45:45.267 HE'S LIKE SITTING OFF TO THE SIDE, 00:45:45.367 --> 00:45:47.500 BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHERE MY LIKE OLDEST 00:45:47.600 --> 00:45:49.067 WAS LIKE I LOVE DADDY. 00:45:49.167 --> 00:45:50.700 I DON'T LOVE -- YOU KNOW, NO, I WANT TO BE 00:45:50.800 --> 00:45:51.800 WITH DAD, NOT MOM. 00:45:51.900 --> 00:45:52.933 IT WAS THESE LITTLE THINGS BECAUSE THEY'RE 00:45:53.033 --> 00:45:55.667 YOUNG RIGHT NOW AND IT WOULD JUST HURT MY FEELINGS 00:45:55.767 --> 00:45:57.667 AND I TOOK THINGS PERSONALLY THAT SOME OF 00:45:57.767 --> 00:46:00.067 THE STUFF IS LIKE DEVELOPMENTALLY NORMAL. 00:46:00.167 --> 00:46:01.367 BUT I REMEMBER THE DAY 00:46:01.467 --> 00:46:04.900 I REALIZED THAT MY LOVE FOR THEM 00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.200 DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CONDITIONAL, CONDITIONED ON 00:46:09.300 --> 00:46:11.667 HOW THEY TREAT ME, THAT I HAVE THE FREEDOM 00:46:11.767 --> 00:46:14.733 THAT I GET TO LOVE THEM LIKE A FREE-FLOWING RIVER 00:46:14.833 --> 00:46:17.167 BECAUSE THE LOVE OF GOD FLOWS INTO ME OUT TO THEM, 00:46:17.267 --> 00:46:18.633 AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THEY DO, 00:46:18.733 --> 00:46:19.534 HOW THEY TREAT ME. 00:46:19.634 --> 00:46:20.634 IT DOESN'T MEAN TO LET THEM TREAT ME 00:46:20.734 --> 00:46:24.000 HOWEVER THEY WANT, BUT I CAN ALLOW THEM TO BE THEM 00:46:24.100 --> 00:46:27.467 AND GROW AND DEVELOP AND I CAN LOVE THEM FREE-FLOWING, 00:46:27.567 --> 00:46:30.133 AND IT'S SUCH A PLACE, IT'S SO EMPOWERING 00:46:30.233 --> 00:46:32.234 BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR, 00:46:32.334 --> 00:46:34.267 OR YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE OFF OF A FENCE 00:46:34.367 --> 00:46:36.433 OR BASED OFF OF HOW THEY LOVE ME. 00:46:36.533 --> 00:46:38.767 IT'S JUST I GET TO LOVE YOU AND STEWARD YOU, 00:46:38.867 --> 00:46:42.166 BUT IF I REALLY JUST LOVE YOU FREELY LIKE GOD LOVES ME 00:46:42.266 --> 00:46:44.400 AND I TRUST GOD AND I DO MY PART. 00:46:44.500 --> 00:46:47.200 I KNOW THAT GOD IS GOING TO BE FAITHFUL TO GROW 00:46:47.300 --> 00:46:48.866 THEM UP IN THE WAY THEY NEED TO GROW. 00:46:48.966 --> 00:46:53.400 AND ONE OF THE THINGS YOU SAID ON ANOTHER SHOW 00:46:53.500 --> 00:46:54.933 THAT I THINK IS SO POWERFUL AND I WANT 00:46:55.033 --> 00:46:56.733 TO GIVE THIS TO PARENTS IS WHEN YOU WERE 00:46:56.833 --> 00:46:57.967 STRUGGLING WITH ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN, 00:46:58.067 --> 00:47:00.833 GOD GAVE YOU ACTUALLY VISION OF THEM 00:47:00.933 --> 00:47:03.133 IN THEIR PURPOSE, IN THEIR DESTINY, 00:47:03.233 --> 00:47:04.734 AND IT SHIFTED YOUR PRAYER LIFE. 00:47:04.834 --> 00:47:07.267 CAN YOU SHARE THAT BECAUSE I WANT MORE PARENTS 00:47:07.367 --> 00:47:08.900 GETTING THAT VISION FOR THEIR MARRIAGE, 00:47:09.000 --> 00:47:11.667 FOR THEIR FAMILIES, FOR EACH OF THEIR CHILDREN INDIVIDUALLY 00:47:11.767 --> 00:47:13.933 SO THEY CAN PRAY INTO THAT AND BELIEVE FOR THAT. 00:47:14.033 --> 00:47:15.834 >> YEAH. WELL, LIKE MOST TEENAGERS, 00:47:15.934 --> 00:47:17.700 YOU KNOW THEY GO THROUGH THIS PHASE OF LIKE 00:47:17.800 --> 00:47:19.900 I'M GONNA SEPARATE FROM YOU AND I'M GONNA -- 00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:23.100 I'M GONNA EXPERIMENT WITH MY OWN IDEAS AND YOU DON'T 00:47:23.200 --> 00:47:24.433 HAVE ANYTHING REALLY TO OFFER HERE. 00:47:24.533 --> 00:47:25.400 YOU KNOW, ALL OF IT, RIGHT. 00:47:25.500 --> 00:47:26.900 >> YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS ARE SO WEIRD. 00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:28.767 SO CRINGY, YOU'RE LIKE, GO AWAY. 00:47:28.867 --> 00:47:29.833 >> YEAH. 00:47:29.933 --> 00:47:31.734 AND THEN THEY GO THROUGH THESE LITTLE LIKE PHASES 00:47:31.834 --> 00:47:33.000 OF OPPRESSION AND YOU'RE LIKE, 00:47:33.100 --> 00:47:34.100 OH, NO, YOU KNOW. 00:47:34.200 --> 00:47:37.433 SO I JUST GOT ON MY FACE, 00:47:37.533 --> 00:47:41.800 AND I REMEMBER BRINGING THE CURRENT PAIN 00:47:41.900 --> 00:47:43.267 INTO THE PRAYER, LIKE, GOD, 00:47:43.367 --> 00:47:45.033 YOU GOTTA HELP HER, LIKE LOOK AT HER, 00:47:45.133 --> 00:47:48.000 LIKE SHE'S NOT FUNCTIONING WELL. 00:47:48.100 --> 00:47:49.067 AND YOU KNOW LIKE, OH, 00:47:49.167 --> 00:47:49.900 AND MAYBE, YOU KNOW, CHANGE ME. 00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:53.700 IT WAS KIND OF LIKE A PRETTY PITIFUL PRAYER MOMENT, HONESTLY. 00:47:53.800 --> 00:47:54.600 AND THE LORD SAID TO ME, 00:47:54.700 --> 00:47:55.934 JENNY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT. 00:47:56.034 --> 00:47:57.267 WHAT'S NOT REAL. 00:47:57.367 --> 00:47:59.733 HE SAID SHE'S -- THAT'S NOT HER. 00:47:59.833 --> 00:48:01.833 HE SAID, THAT'S NOT HER. 00:48:01.933 --> 00:48:03.866 LET ME SHOW YOU WHO SHE IS, 00:48:03.966 --> 00:48:06.366 AND WHEN YOU COME TO ME TO PRAY FOR HER, 00:48:06.466 --> 00:48:08.000 I WANT YOU TO PRAY FOR THIS GIRL. 00:48:08.100 --> 00:48:09.434 ALL OF A SUDDEN, REBECCA, 00:48:09.534 --> 00:48:14.367 I SEE THIS GIRL ON A KEYBOARD WORSHIPING. 00:48:14.467 --> 00:48:16.634 NOW, I KNEW SHE HAD A REALLY GOOD VOICE. 00:48:16.734 --> 00:48:19.133 BUT I HAD NEVER SEEN HER PLAY A KEYBOARD 00:48:19.233 --> 00:48:21.200 IN WORSHIP. 00:48:21.300 --> 00:48:23.000 AND SO I SAID, OKAY. 00:48:23.100 --> 00:48:26.233 AND AT THE RISK OF, AM I MAKING THIS UP RIGHT NOW 00:48:26.333 --> 00:48:27.800 IN PRAYER, RIGHT, 00:48:27.900 --> 00:48:31.733 BUT I WAS SO AT THE END OF BEING ABLE TO HELP HER, 00:48:31.833 --> 00:48:34.133 FEELING LIKE EVERYTHING I SAY MAKES IT WORSE. 00:48:34.233 --> 00:48:35.367 YOU KNOW, I WAS LIKE, GOD, YOU KNOW. 00:48:35.467 --> 00:48:36.867 I WAS SO LIKE, OKAY, LET'S DO IT YOUR WAY. 00:48:36.967 --> 00:48:38.433 HE WAS LIKE, THEN YOU NEED TO PRAY FOR THIS GIRL 00:48:38.533 --> 00:48:39.900 BECAUSE THAT'S WHO SHE REALLY IS. 00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:42.400 I WANT YOU TO THANK ME FOR WHO SHE IS, 00:48:42.500 --> 00:48:44.000 AND SO I CAME TO PRAY LIKE THIS. 00:48:44.100 --> 00:48:45.833 THANK YOU, GOD, FOR THE WORSHIP 00:48:45.933 --> 00:48:46.866 THAT COMES OUT OF HER SPIRIT. 00:48:46.966 --> 00:48:49.567 I THANK YOU, GOD, FOR THE NOTES THAT SHE PLAYS 00:48:49.667 --> 00:48:50.933 THAT COMMUNICATES WITH YOU. 00:48:51.033 --> 00:48:52.000 I THANK YOU, GOD, 00:48:52.100 --> 00:48:53.533 THAT YOU'VE GIVEN HER A VOICE FOR THE NATIONS. 00:48:53.633 --> 00:48:56.033 I THANK YOU, FATHER, THAT YOU ARE COMMUNICATING 00:48:56.133 --> 00:48:57.434 THROUGH MUSIC WITH HER. 00:48:57.534 --> 00:48:59.366 LIKE I'M PRAYING AS IF, YOU KNOW, 00:48:59.466 --> 00:49:01.633 ALL THESE THINGS THAT ARE NOT AS THOUGH THEY WERE. 00:49:01.733 --> 00:49:04.167 THAT'S WHAT MY PRAYER TIME WAS WITH HER. 00:49:04.267 --> 00:49:05.300 TWO YEARS LATER, 00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:06.634 I WISH IT WAS A LOT FASTER, BUT TWO YEARS LATER, 00:49:06.734 --> 00:49:07.766 SHE'S LIKE, MOM, 00:49:07.866 --> 00:49:09.300 I THINK I WANT TO GET A KEYBOARD. 00:49:09.400 --> 00:49:10.966 THREW HER IN THE CAR GOING TO GUITAR CENTER. 00:49:11.066 --> 00:49:12.233 WOW, THAT WAS FAST, YOU KNOW. 00:49:12.333 --> 00:49:15.100 SHE BRINGS IT HOME, PLUGS IT IN, STARTS PLAYING, 00:49:15.200 --> 00:49:16.467 AND SHE'S LIKE, I DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO HEAR ME. 00:49:16.567 --> 00:49:17.700 YOU KNOW, SHUTS THE DOOR. 00:49:17.800 --> 00:49:18.800 OF COURSE AT 15, YOU DON'T REALIZE 00:49:18.900 --> 00:49:20.467 YOUR VOICE IS ECHOING ALL OVER THE HOUSE. 00:49:20.567 --> 00:49:23.667 AND I JUST SAT IN THE HALLWAY, 00:49:23.767 --> 00:49:25.500 HER THINKING I'M NOT LISTENING TO HER, OF COURSE, 00:49:25.600 --> 00:49:28.300 BAWLING AS SHE'S JUST WORSHIPING. 00:49:28.400 --> 00:49:31.500 I'M LIKE, I AM LITERALLY EXPERIENCING 00:49:31.600 --> 00:49:34.900 WHO I PRAYED FOR FOR TWO YEARS. 00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:36.533 AND THE LORD JUST KIND OF FORBID ME, 00:49:36.633 --> 00:49:40.333 DON'T BRING ME THE FAKE IDENTITY. 00:49:40.433 --> 00:49:42.300 I WANT TO SHOW YOU WHO SHE IS, 00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:44.166 AND THEN YOU'RE GOING TO THANK ME 00:49:44.266 --> 00:49:46.467 AND PRAY THAT INTO EXISTENCE. 00:49:46.567 --> 00:49:47.767 IT WAS POWERFUL. 00:49:47.867 --> 00:49:48.300 >> YEAH. 00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:49.466 >> POWERFUL. 00:49:49.566 --> 00:49:54.000 I DON'T KNOW -- IF I WOULD HAVE KEPT PICKING AT HER, 00:49:54.100 --> 00:49:56.233 HONEY, THIS AND THAT AND YOU'RE THIS AND YOU'RE, 00:49:56.333 --> 00:49:59.667 YOU KNOW, AND JUST KIND OF RELIGIOUSLY NITPICKING, 00:49:59.767 --> 00:50:01.700 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO DO. 00:50:01.800 --> 00:50:02.767 HONEY, YOU'RE THIS AND YOU'RE THAT. 00:50:02.867 --> 00:50:04.500 AND DON'T TALK LIKE THAT, 00:50:04.600 --> 00:50:06.300 AND CORRECT, CORRECT, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG. 00:50:06.400 --> 00:50:07.734 AND I DID THAT FOR A WHILE UNTIL 00:50:07.834 --> 00:50:09.033 I WAS LIKE, I AM DRIVING HER AWAY. 00:50:09.133 --> 00:50:10.033 SHE'S NOT COMING CLOSE TO ME. 00:50:10.133 --> 00:50:12.067 THIS ISN'T CAUSING CONNECTION. 00:50:12.167 --> 00:50:15.166 SHE'S ACTUALLY BACKING UP FROM ME. 00:50:15.266 --> 00:50:17.300 SO IF I WOULD HAVE KEPT DOING THAT, 00:50:17.400 --> 00:50:19.767 I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'D BE RIGHT NOW, REBECCA. 00:50:19.867 --> 00:50:20.600 I DON'T KNOW. 00:50:20.700 --> 00:50:21.500 NOW SHE IS A WORSHIPPER. 00:50:21.600 --> 00:50:22.833 NOW, SHE'S DOING ALL SORTS OF THINGS. 00:50:22.933 --> 00:50:25.600 SHE'S OUR WORSHIP LEADER FOR OUR MOVEMENT 00:50:25.700 --> 00:50:28.800 AND SHE'S EXTREMELY ANOINTED. 00:50:28.900 --> 00:50:30.700 AND I THANK GOD FOR IT, YOU KNOW, BUT I THINK 00:50:30.800 --> 00:50:31.933 THERE'S SOME PEOPLE LISTENING TODAY LIKE, 00:50:32.033 --> 00:50:33.434 WHAT DOES YOUR MARRIAGE LOOK LIKE 00:50:33.534 --> 00:50:36.267 IN ITS TRUEST FORM AND ITS TRUEST IDENTITY? 00:50:36.367 --> 00:50:38.600 WHAT DOES YOUR CHILD LOOK LIKE IN THEIR TRUEST IDENTITY? 00:50:38.700 --> 00:50:40.900 MAYBE THEY'RE A GROWN ADULT, MAYBE THEY'RE 45 YEARS OLD, 00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:42.967 AND GOD -- THEY HAVEN'T FULFILLED THAT YET. 00:50:43.067 --> 00:50:43.800 THEY'VE BEEN OFF TRACK. 00:50:43.900 --> 00:50:45.733 THEY'VE BEEN MAYBE A PRODIGAL. 00:50:45.833 --> 00:50:47.200 GOD, WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE IN THEIR TRUE IDENTITY? 00:50:47.300 --> 00:50:49.833 CALL THAT IN, IT'S NOT TOO LATE. 00:50:49.933 --> 00:50:51.800 AND THEN STOP MAKING IT ABOUT US AND THE MISTAKES 00:50:51.900 --> 00:50:56.134 THAT WE MADE AND REALLY CALL IN GOD'S DESIGN FOR THEM. 00:50:56.234 --> 00:50:59.033 >> THIS IS SO GOOD. 00:50:59.133 --> 00:51:00.733 I KNOW WE'VE BEEN TALKING FOR A WHILE. 00:51:00.833 --> 00:51:04.100 I DO WANT TO TAP ON MARRIAGE A LITTLE BIT 00:51:04.200 --> 00:51:07.367 SINCE IT IS A PART OF FAMILY AND IT'S SO HUGE. 00:51:07.467 --> 00:51:08.900 AND YOU SAID ONE THING THAT WAS IMPORTANT, 00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:10.700 AND I THINK PEOPLE DO STRUGGLE WITH THIS, 00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:13.234 WHICH IS PEOPLE PUTTING THEIR KIDS ABOVE THEIR MARRIAGE 00:51:13.334 --> 00:51:14.534 BECAUSE THEY MAKE THEIR KIDS AN IDOL 00:51:14.634 --> 00:51:16.567 AND THEN THE MARRIAGE SUFFERS EVEN THOUGH IT'S 00:51:16.667 --> 00:51:20.166 COMING FROM A GOOD PLACE. 00:51:20.266 --> 00:51:22.700 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO THAT? 00:51:22.800 --> 00:51:26.666 >> I WOULD SAY THAT'S A BIG MISTAKE. 00:51:26.766 --> 00:51:27.533 >> DON'T DO THAT. 00:51:27.633 --> 00:51:29.400 >> DON'T DO THAT. 00:51:29.500 --> 00:51:34.200 AGAIN, GO BACK TO YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN. 00:51:34.300 --> 00:51:40.700 ASK GOD, DO I HAVE A FEAR OF LOSING MY CHILDREN. 00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:43.867 BECAUSE USUALLY WHAT WE ARE WHITE KNUCKLE GRIPPING 00:51:43.967 --> 00:51:46.166 IN CONTROL LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE 00:51:46.266 --> 00:51:47.634 WE'RE AFRAID OF LOSING THEM. 00:51:47.734 --> 00:51:50.800 AND I WOULD EVEN ASK THE QUESTION, 00:51:50.900 --> 00:51:53.833 HAVE YOU FULLY FORGIVEN YOUR MOM AND DAD, 00:51:53.933 --> 00:51:55.667 EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT LIVING ANYMORE. 00:51:55.767 --> 00:51:57.500 RIGHT, LIKE, SOME PEOPLE, THEIR PARENTS PASS AWAY 00:51:57.600 --> 00:52:02.067 WHEN THEY'RE YOUNG AND BECAUSE OF THAT LOSS 00:52:02.167 --> 00:52:04.300 THEY'RE GOING TO HOLD ON, RIGHT? 00:52:04.400 --> 00:52:07.367 SO MAYBE SOMEBODY FEELS LIKE THEY ACTUALLY LOST 00:52:07.467 --> 00:52:08.700 THEIR CHILDHOOD AND SO THEY'RE GOING TO 00:52:08.800 --> 00:52:09.967 HOLD ONTO THEIR KIDS AND JUST BE LIKE, 00:52:10.067 --> 00:52:11.367 OH, MY MARRIAGE WILL BE FINE. 00:52:11.467 --> 00:52:12.566 BUT THIS RIGHT HERE, 00:52:12.666 --> 00:52:13.434 I CAN'T LOSE THIS. 00:52:13.534 --> 00:52:15.067 THAT'S AN IDOL. 00:52:15.167 --> 00:52:17.300 AND SO WHAT YOUR KIDS NEED FROM YOU 00:52:17.400 --> 00:52:20.767 IS ACTUALLY THE STABILITY. 00:52:20.867 --> 00:52:21.966 IN A FAMILY UNIT 00:52:22.066 --> 00:52:24.667 DAD IS THE PERSONA OF FATHER GOD. 00:52:24.767 --> 00:52:26.800 MOTHER IS THE PERSONA OF HOLY SPIRIT. 00:52:26.900 --> 00:52:29.100 SIBLINGS AND FRIENDS ARE THE PERSONA OF JESUS, 00:52:29.200 --> 00:52:30.933 IT'S ACTUALLY THE TRINITY. 00:52:31.033 --> 00:52:33.466 AND SO TO BRING THE FULLNESS 00:52:33.566 --> 00:52:36.900 OF THE GODHEAD, THE THREE IN ONE, 00:52:37.000 --> 00:52:39.733 THAT'S WHERE YOU START IS IN MARRIAGE. 00:52:39.833 --> 00:52:43.833 THE UNION OF LOVE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN 00:52:43.933 --> 00:52:48.200 IS THE ACTUAL GROUNDING OF A CHILD 00:52:48.300 --> 00:52:53.533 TO KNOW WHO GOD IS THROUGH THE EXAMPLE OF FAMILY. 00:52:53.633 --> 00:52:56.100 >> YEAH. AND ONE OF THE THINGS I'M THINKING IS, 00:52:56.200 --> 00:52:58.466 YOU KNOW YOUR KIDS WILL -- THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE 00:52:58.566 --> 00:53:00.633 A PART IN YOUR LIFE, BUT THEY WILL GROW UP 00:53:00.733 --> 00:53:03.200 AND THEY WILL MARRY AND THEY WILL LEAVE AND CLEAVE, 00:53:03.300 --> 00:53:04.667 AND START THEIR OWN FAMILIES. 00:53:04.767 --> 00:53:06.966 AND YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BE ALL 00:53:07.066 --> 00:53:08.233 >> DRIED UP. 00:53:08.333 --> 00:53:10.233 >> YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T LOVE, YOU KNOW, POUR INTO THAT, 00:53:10.333 --> 00:53:11.900 WHAT'S GOING TO BE LEFT? 00:53:12.000 --> 00:53:13.200 AND SO I THINK PEOPLE GET SO CAUGHT UP 00:53:13.300 --> 00:53:15.733 IN THE MOMENT LOVING THEIR KIDS. 00:53:15.833 --> 00:53:17.067 BUT THEN MAKING THAT MISTAKE OF NEGLECTING 00:53:17.167 --> 00:53:18.033 THEIR MARRIAGE. 00:53:18.133 --> 00:53:19.400 ARE THERE ANY IDOLS THAT YOU WOULD SAY 00:53:19.500 --> 00:53:22.100 KIND OF STAND OUT TO YOU THAT HAPPEN 00:53:22.200 --> 00:53:24.967 IN MARRIAGE THAT YOU WANT TO TAP ON, OR IS IT MORE KIDS? 00:53:25.067 --> 00:53:25.866 >> YEAH. 00:53:25.966 --> 00:53:28.500 THE IDOL OF SELF IS PRETTY BIG. 00:53:28.600 --> 00:53:29.933 >> TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF OVER YOUR SPOUSE. 00:53:30.033 --> 00:53:33.200 >> YEAH, SELF, LIKE, I WANT TO BE IMPORTANT. 00:53:33.300 --> 00:53:36.333 I WANT TO BE AN INFLUENCER. 00:53:36.433 --> 00:53:37.867 AND I LOVE EVERY AGE GROUP. 00:53:37.967 --> 00:53:39.800 I LOVE GEN Z AND MILLENNIALS SO MUCH, 00:53:39.900 --> 00:53:41.067 AND ALPHA. 00:53:41.167 --> 00:53:44.100 THE MILLENNIALS, I FEEL, YOU KNOW, 00:53:44.200 --> 00:53:45.300 THEY CAME IN WHEN SOCIAL MEDIA 00:53:45.400 --> 00:53:48.166 HIT THE SCENE AND THE PHONES HIT THE SCENE. 00:53:48.266 --> 00:53:52.767 AND SO THEY'VE LIVED IN A -- THERE'S THIS WORLD OUT THERE 00:53:52.867 --> 00:53:57.133 THAT TELLS YOU, YOU NEED TO BE SOMEBODY TO THE WORLD. 00:53:57.233 --> 00:54:01.466 AND THAT IS A TRAP AND I'VE SEEN MARRIAGES END OVER IT. 00:54:01.566 --> 00:54:02.633 >> WOW. 00:54:02.733 --> 00:54:04.533 >> BECAUSE IT'S I WANT TO BE SOMEBODY FOR SOMEBODY 00:54:04.633 --> 00:54:07.034 INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, I REALLY LOOK TO 00:54:07.134 --> 00:54:10.934 TWO PEOPLE TO PLEASE, AND THAT IS GOD AND MY HUSBAND. 00:54:11.034 --> 00:54:13.434 AND IF THEY'RE PLEASED WITH ME, 00:54:13.534 --> 00:54:16.166 I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. 00:54:16.266 --> 00:54:19.600 BUT WHEN YOU WANT THE WORLD TO IDOLIZE YOU, 00:54:19.700 --> 00:54:20.767 THAT'S WHAT IDOLIZING SELF IS, 00:54:20.867 --> 00:54:22.566 YOU WANT THE WORLD TO IDOLIZE YOU, 00:54:22.666 --> 00:54:24.500 AND YOU WANT TO BE THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING. 00:54:24.600 --> 00:54:25.034 AND, YOU KNOW, MAKING YOUR SPOUSE 00:54:25.134 --> 00:54:26.600 WAIT ON YOU 24/7 00:54:26.700 --> 00:54:28.866 AND NOT CONSIDERING THEIR DREAMS, 00:54:28.966 --> 00:54:31.000 NOT CONSIDERING WHAT'S IN THEIR HEART, 00:54:31.100 --> 00:54:32.133 AND HOW YOU CAN COMPLEMENT THAT, 00:54:32.233 --> 00:54:35.300 HOW YOU CAN ENCOURAGE THAT AND WORK TOGETHER. 00:54:35.400 --> 00:54:37.300 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT ON A MISSION TOGETHER. 00:54:37.400 --> 00:54:40.967 YOU KNOW, I WOULD SAY 911 TO THAT PERSON RIGHT NOW. 00:54:41.067 --> 00:54:42.800 AND TAKE YOURSELF OFF THE ALTAR. 00:54:42.900 --> 00:54:45.734 HAVING FOLLOWERS ON INSTAGRAM, YOU KNOW, SURE. 00:54:45.834 --> 00:54:47.500 I LOVE -- I LOVE SOCIAL MEDIA. 00:54:47.600 --> 00:54:49.800 WE CAN PREACH THE GOSPEL THROUGH IT, BUT MY IMPACT 00:54:49.900 --> 00:54:52.434 IS NOT MEASURED BY HOW MANY PEOPLE FOLLOW ME 00:54:52.534 --> 00:54:53.666 ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 00:54:53.766 --> 00:54:56.667 MY IMPACT IN HEAVEN WILL NOT HAVE A NUMBER 00:54:56.767 --> 00:54:58.667 FOR THAT, AND SO THAT'S A REAL THING 00:54:58.767 --> 00:55:01.667 THAT I'VE SEEN YOUNG MARRIAGES GO THROUGH 00:55:01.767 --> 00:55:03.300 THAT HAVE TORN THEM APART. 00:55:03.400 --> 00:55:07.100 AND THAT HAS TO BE TAKEN SUPER SERIOUS 00:55:07.200 --> 00:55:09.867 BECAUSE THE ONLY AUDIENCE I CARE ABOUT 00:55:09.967 --> 00:55:12.066 AS A MARRIED WOMAN IS GOD AND MY HUSBAND. 00:55:12.166 --> 00:55:13.800 >> THAT'S SO GOOD. 00:55:13.900 --> 00:55:17.134 WELL, I FEEL LIKE THERE'S PEOPLE THAT ARE WATCHING 00:55:17.234 --> 00:55:19.367 THAT ARE PROBABLY FEELING CONVICTION 00:55:19.467 --> 00:55:21.234 ON PROBABLY DIFFERENT THINGS THAT YOU BROUGHT UP. 00:55:21.334 --> 00:55:23.033 CAN YOU JUST LEAD THE PEOPLE IN A PRAYER 00:55:23.133 --> 00:55:24.700 WHO ARE FEELING LIKE, 00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:27.467 OH, I -- I'VE MADE MY KID AN IDOL, 00:55:27.567 --> 00:55:31.167 I'VE MADE MY MARRIAGE AN IDOL. 00:55:31.267 --> 00:55:33.367 YOU KNOW, MY IDEA OF MY DREAM FAMILY AN IDOL. 00:55:33.467 --> 00:55:35.900 CAN YOU JUST PRAY AND JUST HELP BREAK THAT OFF 00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:37.767 AND JUST SPEAK LIFE OVER THOSE PEOPLE WATCHING? 00:55:37.867 --> 00:55:38.700 >> ABSOLUTELY. 00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:40.133 AND I WOULD LOVE FOR PEOPLE TO JUST 00:55:40.233 --> 00:55:44.067 REPEAT AFTER ME BECAUSE THE VOICE MEANS LIGHT, 00:55:44.167 --> 00:55:46.800 AND LIGHT ALWAYS EXPOSES DARKNESS, 00:55:46.900 --> 00:55:48.767 AND LIGHT ALWAYS OVERCOMES DARKNESS. 00:55:48.867 --> 00:55:50.067 SO WHEN YOU SPEAK, YOU ACTUALLY 00:55:50.167 --> 00:55:53.333 SEND LIGHT BEAMS INTO THE DARK PLACE 00:55:53.433 --> 00:55:55.200 AND IT DOES LIKE LASER SURGERY. 00:55:55.300 --> 00:55:58.800 IT EXPOSES, IT CUTS DOWN TO THE ROOT. 00:55:58.900 --> 00:56:00.634 AND SO JUST REPEAT AFTER ME. 00:56:00.734 --> 00:56:02.234 SAY, FATHER GOD, 00:56:02.334 --> 00:56:03.200 >> FATHER GOD. 00:56:03.300 --> 00:56:06.433 >> I RECOGNIZE THAT I HAVE THE IDOL OF, 00:56:06.533 --> 00:56:08.000 AND GO AHEAD AND FILL IN THE BLANK. 00:56:08.100 --> 00:56:09.367 I RECOGNIZE THAT I HAVE THE IDOL OF, JUST GO AHEAD 00:56:09.467 --> 00:56:17.433 AND SAY THAT, AND I ASK YOU, LORD, 00:56:17.533 --> 00:56:20.200 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW ABOUT THE PAIN 00:56:20.300 --> 00:56:24.467 THAT'S CONNECTED TO THIS IDOL? 00:56:24.567 --> 00:56:27.767 WOULD YOU REVEAL TO ME 00:56:27.867 --> 00:56:31.233 WHERE YOU WANT TO HEAL ME, 00:56:31.333 --> 00:56:35.934 SO THAT YOU CAN COMFORT ME AND NOT THIS IDOL. 00:56:36.034 --> 00:56:38.766 GOD, I'M LISTENING. 00:56:38.866 --> 00:56:42.066 I'M OPEN TO THE JOURNEY OF YOU 00:56:42.166 --> 00:56:44.100 BEING MY COMFORT, 00:56:44.200 --> 00:56:46.933 OF YOU BEING MY SOURCE, 00:56:47.033 --> 00:56:51.467 AND YOU BEING THE ONLY GOD I SERVE. 00:56:51.567 --> 00:56:54.400 SO I RENOUNCE THIS IDOL. 00:56:54.500 --> 00:56:58.267 I SEVER MYSELF FROM IT ENTIRELY 00:56:58.367 --> 00:57:02.167 WITH THE BLOOD OF JESUS. 00:57:02.267 --> 00:57:06.000 I AM CLEANSED AND MADE WHOLE. 00:57:06.100 --> 00:57:08.034 THE SIN OF THIS IDOL IS COMPLETELY FORGIVEN 00:57:08.134 --> 00:57:12.066 BY YOUR BLOOD. 00:57:12.166 --> 00:57:16.300 AND I CHOOSE TO WALK IN FREEDOM WITH YOU TODAY. 00:57:16.400 --> 00:57:21.733 FATHER GOD, HELP ME TO HONOR YOU, 00:57:21.833 --> 00:57:25.633 TO LOVE YOU, TO PRAISE YOU, 00:57:25.733 --> 00:57:29.366 AND TO WORSHIP YOU AND YOU ALONE. 00:57:29.466 --> 00:57:31.333 I NEED YOUR HELP. 00:57:31.433 --> 00:57:33.800 I NEED YOUR GUIDANCE. 00:57:33.900 --> 00:57:36.067 I NEED YOUR SPIRIT. 00:57:36.167 --> 00:57:39.533 BUT I SAY YES. 00:57:39.633 --> 00:57:41.667 FATHER, HELP ME FORGIVE 00:57:41.767 --> 00:57:44.934 ALL THE PEOPLE IN MY PAST 00:57:45.034 --> 00:57:48.567 THAT I AM HOLDING HOSTAGE, 00:57:48.667 --> 00:57:51.833 HOLDING BITTERNESS AGAINST, 00:57:51.933 --> 00:57:55.667 HOLDING A FENCE TOWARDS. 00:57:55.767 --> 00:57:56.933 I FORGIVE, AND YOU MIGHT NEED TO LIST 00:57:57.033 --> 00:57:58.133 THOSE PEOPLE RIGHT NOW. 00:57:58.233 --> 00:58:00.233 I FORGIVE AND I WANT YOU TO SEE YOURSELF OPENING UP 00:58:00.333 --> 00:58:02.400 THE PRISON DOOR OF YOUR HEART. 00:58:02.500 --> 00:58:05.267 AND THEN LITERALLY JUST WALKING OUT. 00:58:05.367 --> 00:58:07.100 THEY DON'T BELONG THERE. 00:58:07.200 --> 00:58:08.900 AND THEN I'D LIKE YOU TO TAKE SOMETHING LIKE AN AX 00:58:09.000 --> 00:58:11.700 OR A BLOWTORCH OR SOMETHING AND BLOW THAT PRISON DOWN 00:58:11.800 --> 00:58:14.766 BECAUSE THAT DOES NOT BELONG IN YOUR HEART. 00:58:14.866 --> 00:58:16.300 THE PEOPLE THAT WE HOLD THINGS AGAINST AND WE 00:58:16.400 --> 00:58:18.067 FEEL THAT THEY OWE US SOMETHING AND AS THEY 00:58:18.167 --> 00:58:19.167 WALK OUT OF THAT PRISON, 00:58:19.267 --> 00:58:20.433 I WANT YOU TO JUST SAY, 00:58:20.533 --> 00:58:21.400 I BLESS YOU. 00:58:21.500 --> 00:58:23.033 YOU OWE ME NOTHING. 00:58:23.133 --> 00:58:24.767 I TAKE BACK WHAT'S MINE, 00:58:24.867 --> 00:58:28.200 AND I GIVE YOU WHAT'S YOURS. 00:58:28.300 --> 00:58:30.100 WE THANK YOU FOR THAT, JESUS. 00:58:30.200 --> 00:58:32.500 WE LOVE YOU. 00:58:32.600 --> 00:58:34.967 WE HONOR YOU. 00:58:35.067 --> 00:58:39.667 WE THANK YOU FOR WHOLENESS AND HEALING TODAY 00:58:39.767 --> 00:58:41.300 IN JESUS' NAME. 00:58:41.400 --> 00:58:41.934 AMEN. 00:58:42.034 --> 00:58:43.733 >> AMEN. 00:58:43.833 --> 00:58:44.900 SO FREEING. 00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:46.334 I LOVE THAT. 00:58:46.434 --> 00:58:48.066 WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH, JENNY. 00:58:48.166 --> 00:58:49.667 >> YOU'RE WELCOME. 00:58:49.767 --> 00:58:50.700 >> I ALWAYS LOVE HAVING YOU HERE. 00:58:50.800 --> 00:58:51.767 AND YOU'LL COME BACK? 00:58:51.867 --> 00:58:52.333 >> I LOVE BEING HERE. YES. 00:58:52.433 --> 00:58:53.300 >> YAY!