REBECCA WEISS: IN THIS EPISODE,
I SIT DOWN WITH PAUL DAUGHERTY,
SENIOR PASTOR OF VICTORY CHURCH
IN TULSA, OKLAHOMA.
HE SHARES HIS PERSONAL TESTIMONY OF DEALING
WITH HIS FATHER'S DEATH,
TAKING OVER THE CHURCH AT A YOUNG AGE,
AND HOW HE RECEIVED FREEDOM
FROM MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES.
REBECCA: HEY, GUYS.
WELCOME BACK TO THE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST.
I'M JOINED WITH SOMEONE THAT I'VE KNOWN HIM,
I KNOW HIS FAMILY, AND I'M TALKING ABOUT -
DO YOU GO BY PASTOR?
YOU PROBABLY DON'T, YOU JUST GO BY PAUL.
YOU CAN CALL ME PAUL.
PAUL?
YEAH.
AND SAY YOUR LAST NAME FOR ME.
DAUGHERTY.
DAUGHERTY. OKAY.
JUST LIKE PARTY, BUT DAUGHERTY.
I'M GLAD I ASKED YOU THIS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
PEOPLE BOTCH YOUR LAST NAME.
OH, THEY DO. THEY'RE LIKE
THEY'RE LIKE, IS IT DAUGHTRY OR IS IT DAUGHTERY?
DAUGHERTY.
YEAH, LIKE JUST CALL ME WHATEVER.
YEAH.
BUT DAUGHERTY IS WHAT WE SAY.
WELL, I HAVE THE LAST NAME WEISS NOW,
AND EVERYONE CALLS ME WEESE, AND I'M LIKE,
OOH, I DON'T LIKE THAT AT ALL.
YEAH. LAMB WAS A LOT EASIER.
LAMB WAS WAY EASIER BECAUSE I CAN GO
LIKE THE ANIMAL AND I WOULD LIKE - ANYWAYS,
LET'S GET INTO THE REASON -
ANYWAYS, I'VE KNOWN PAUL, HIS FAMILY,
I MEAN, FOR YEARS.
I REMEMBER YOUR PARENTS COMING TO DAYSTAR
WHEN I WAS LIKE A LITTLE KID.
COME ON.
YOU ARE NOW THE SENIOR PASTOR
OF VICTORY CHURCH IN TULSA, OKLAHOMA.
YES, MA'AM.
RIGHT ACROSS FROM ORAL ROBERTS UNIVERSITY.
BUT YOU'VE BEEN SENIOR PASTOR FOR TEN YEARS NOW.
YES, MA'AM.
AND YOU ARE A PK SO THIS IS LIKE
A SECOND GENERATION, PASSING THE BATON.
KIND OF LIKE YOU.
YEAH.
WHICH, HONESTLY, I HAVE TO SAY IS KUDOS
TO YOUR FAMILY, TO YOU.
THAT'S VERY HARD TO DO THAT
AND A LOT OF TIMES IT DOES NOT WORK OUT, UNFORTUNATELY,
WHEN A - I THINK A LOT OF TIMES IN MINISTRY
PARENTS WANT TO HAND IT DOWN TO THEIR CHILDREN,
BUT IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK OUT,
AND SO GOOD JOB TO YOU.
WELL, TO THEM, LIKE I HAD REALLY GOOD PARENTS
WHO WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH US OUTSIDE OF CHURCH,
AND INVOLVED US INTO THE MINISTRY.
AND I FELT LIKE WHENEVER I WAS GROWING UP,
I WAS LIKE, I JUST WANT TO HELP THEM.
LIKE, I WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS.
I WANT TO BUILD THE CHURCH WITH THEM.
WANT TO DO MISSIONS TRIPS WITH THEM.
AND SO, YEAH, AND LIKE THE BOOK THAT I WROTE
WAS ALL ABOUT THAT JOURNEY.
BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE A PART OF IT WITH THEM,
AND THEN MY DAD SUDDENLY PASSED OF CANCER
WHEN I WAS 24.
WAIT, SO THIS WAS ALL THE WAY -
SO THIS BOOK -
THIS IS MY FIRST BOOK.
BUT I STARTED WRITING THIS AFTER MY DAD PASSED.
ALMOST TEN YEARS IN THE MAKING THAT BOOK WAS, SO...
WOW.
AND IT'S THE STORY OF LIKE BATTLING
ALL THE FEELINGS OF SADNESS, DEPRESSION, LOSS, GRIEF,
AND THEN MIXTURE OF ANXIETY
BECAUSE OUR MINISTRY STARTED LOSING
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE OVERNIGHT
PEOPLE STARTED DE-ENROLLING THEIR KIDS
FROM OUR SCHOOL.
AND MY DAD HAD BUILT LIKE THIS BIG LEGACY,
LIKE A CHURCH, A SCHOOL, A CAMP, A COLLEGE,
A DREAM CENTER, 400 EMPLOYEES.
AND IT WAS LIKE WHEN HE PASSED,
IT WAS SUDDEN.
IT WASN'T EXPECTED.
THERE WAS NO TRANSITION PLAN.
AND I WAS THE YOUNGEST OF FOUR KIDS,
BUT I FELT THIS.
YOU'RE THE YOUNGEST.
YEAH.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
YEAH.
AND HIS LAST PUBLIC THING WAS MY WEDDING.
SO HE HE DOES MY WEDDING,
AND THEN TWO WEEKS LATER PASSES AWAY.
AND I REMEMBER JUST THESE FEELINGS OF LIKE,
YOU'RE GOING TO SERVE YOUR MOM,
YOU'RE GOING TO SERVE THIS CHURCH,
AND ONE DAY YOU'RE GOING TO PASTOR.
AND I WAS LIKE, IF THAT HAPPENS, ONE,
THAT WOULD HAVE TO BE GOD,
BECAUSE I'M THE LEAST LIKELY TO BE PICKED.
I'M THE YOUNGEST.
I'M NOT THE - I'M NOT THE, YOU KNOW, EVERYONE'S CHOICE.
AND I TOLD MY WIFE AND SHE WAS LIKE,
DON'T TELL ANYONE
BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO JOSEPH.
HE GOT SOLD TO EGYPT AND YOUR SIBLINGS MIGHT
SELL YOU TO EGYPT.
I WAS LIKE, OKAY.
BUT GOD DID IT.
IT WAS LIKE - AND IT'S A CRAZY STORY,
BUT I SHARE IT IN THAT BOOK,MIND GAMES,
BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE MY MOM STEPPED IN
AS THE INTERIM PASTOR,
AND THAT WAS A BIG DEAL FOR HER TO LEAD THE CHURCH
DURING A VERY, LIKE, BLEEDING SEASON.
WE WERE BLEEDING LEFT AND RIGHT FINANCIALLY,
ATTENDANCE, ALL OF THAT.
AND DURING THAT TIME,
IT WAS LIKE WE WERE HAVING TO TALK ABOUT
SHUTTING DOWN THINGS,
LIKE, OH, WE MIGHT HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE CAMP.
WE MIGHT HAVE TO GIVE AWAY THE DREAM CENTER
TO ANOTHER CHURCH.
WE MIGHT HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE SCHOOL.
LIKE, WE COULDN'T AFFORD THINGS.
WE WERE LAYING OFF 150 EMPLOYEES
IN A MATTER OF, LIKE, A YEAR.
AND SO IT WAS REALLY HARD.
AND THEN MY MOM'S LIKE, OH, YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE OVER NOW.
AND I REMEMBER THESE FEELINGS OF,
LIKE, OH MY GOSH, I'M INADEQUATE.
I'M UNWORTHY.
WE GOTTA TURN THIS SHIP AROUND.
I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.
MY DAD WAS A VISIONARY.
I'M THIS -
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN SHE PASSED IT TO YOU?
SHE PASSED IT TO ME WHEN I WAS 28.
THAT'S SO YOUNG.
YEAH, WE HAD ONE KID.
NOW WE HAVE FIVE KIDS.
WHICH ARE AMAZING, BY THE WAY.
KUDOS TO THE WIFE.
COME ON.
KUDOS TO HER.
SHE'S HOLDING DOWN THE FORT BACK HOME.
I LOVE THAT.
YEAH.
WE HAVE A TEN-YEAR-OLD, EIGHT-YEAR-OLD,
SIX-YEAR-OLD, FOUR-YEAR-OLD, TWO-YEAR-OLD.
SO IT'S, WE AT ONE POINT,
WE HAD FIVE UNDER SEVEN.
THAT IS INSANE.
AND TWO DOGS AND, LIKE, WE LIVE OUT IN THE COUNTRY.
SO WE'RE JUST CHASING LIZARDS AND SNAKES
AND CHICKENS.
YOU KNOW, ALL THAT FUN STUFF SO...
BUT IT'S, I MEAN, IT'S BEEN A JOURNEY,
LIKE, NOW, TEN YEARS LATER, BY THE GRACE OF GOD,
THE CHURCH WAS ABLE TO BOUNCE BACK
THE SCHOOL, WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SHUT DOWN ANYTHING.
REALLY?
WE'RE IN A RECORD SEASON
OF LIKE FINANCIAL, ATTENDANCE, ALL OF THAT.
GOD'S BEEN FAITHFUL.
IT WAS LIKE A CRAZY JOURNEY OF GOD'S GROWTH.
AND HEALTHY, SUSTAINABLE GROWTH, NOT LIKE OVERNIGHT,
LIKE, ALL OF A SUDDEN WE GOT, YOU KNOW,
ALL THESE PEOPLE COMING.
IT WAS LIKE GOD JUST GRADUALLY
STARTED BRINGING PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER,
THE NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST,
THAT WERE LIKE
HEY, WE WANT TO PARTNER WITH YOU, PAUL,
WE WANT TO HELP YOU AND WE WANT TO BUILD THE CHURCH
AND THE SCHOOL AND THE CAMP AND THE DREAM CENTER.
AND NOW WE'VE GOT ANOTHER DREAM CENTER
AND SO IT'S LIKE IT'S THE FAITHFULNESS OF GOD.
AND I SHARE IN THE STORY,
THERE WAS A NIGHT WHERE I WAS SO DEPRESSED,
I ALMOST TOOK MY LIFE.
I WAS STANDING ON A BRIDGE.
I WAS LOOKING AT THESE SEMI TRUCKS
COMING UNDERNEATH THE BRIDGE.
AND I HEARD THE ENEMY LAUGHING AT ME.
THIS WAS 12 YEARS AGO, LIKE, REALLY HARD WINTER, 2012.
WE HAD JUST LAID OFF ANOTHER, LIKE, 40 EMPLOYEES.
AND IT WAS LIKE, MAN,
I WAS SO DISCOURAGED.
I WAS LIKE, I'M GONNA RUIN MY DAD'S LEGACY,
LIKE IT'S NOT GOING TO BE GOOD.
AND THE DEVIL WAS LIKE, JUST END YOUR MISERY.
JUST THROW IT ALL AWAY.
AND I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT THINKING,
I WISH THERE WAS A PASTOR I COULD CALL
WHO HAS OPENLY TALKED ABOUT DEPRESSION,
WHO'S OPENLY TALKED ABOUT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS,
WHO'S OPENLY TALKED ABOUT PTSD,
OR JUST THE CONSTANT RACING THOUGHTS OF
ANXIETY AND HOPELESSNESS.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE.
AND I GREW UP IN A FAITH CIRCLE
WHERE EVERYTHING WAS LIKE FAITH IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT.
YEAH.
IF THERE'S A TORNADO OUTSIDE WE'RE GOING TO SAY
HEY, IT'S A PRETTY DAY.
YEAH.
IT'S A DAY THE LORD HAS MADE AND I'M LIKE,
BUT THERE'S A TORNADO OUTSIDE.
LIKE, I'M STRUGGLING.
YEAH, AND WE COULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
AND THEN YOU HAD THIS OTHER SIDE OF THE PENDULUM
THAT WAS LIKE IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY,
AND IT'S LIKE THAT'S GREAT,
BUT I NEED SOMEONE THAT'S LIKE
BUT DON'T STAY NOT OKAY,
LIKE, LET ME HELP YOU GET BETTER.
AND SO THERE WAS THIS SIDE
THAT WAS LIKE LET'S GLORY IN OUR GRIEF
AND OUR DEPRESSION.
THERE WAS THIS OTHER SIDE THAT'S LIKE
LET'S IGNORE IT, SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG,
NEVER TALK ABOUT IT.
AND I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE
THAT WAS LIKE, WE'RE GOING TO ADMIT
THAT LIFE IS REALLY PAINFUL
AND PRAYERS DON'T ALWAYS GET ANSWERED.
AND GOD'S STILL THE HEALER, BUT SOMETIMES HE DOESN'T HEAL.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S NOT THE HEALER.
AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO CAMP OUT
IN THIS PLACE OF DEFEAT AND DEPRESSION
AND GIVE INTO THESE LIES OF THE ENEMY,
THAT YOU HAVE TO THROW IT AWAY
AND IT'S NEVER GOING TO GET BETTER.
AND IT WAS LIKE SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT NIGHT,
I WAS STANDING ON THAT BRIDGE
AND I FELT THE LORD LIKE LITERALLY REMIND ME,
THE BIBLE SAYS WE'RE SURROUNDED BY
A GREAT CLOUD OF WITNESSES.
AND I COULD ALMOST FEEL LIKE MY DAD
WAS UP THERE LOOKING DOWN ON ME
SAYING LIKE, PAUL, DON'T GIVE UP.
AND I COULD ALMOST FEEL LIKE IT WAS LIKE
HIM AND ORAL ROBERTS, AND LESTER SUMMRALL,
AND BILLY GRAHAM,
AND, YOU KNOW, WHOEVER ELSE WAS UP THERE.
BUT IT WAS LIKE DON'T DON'T GIVE UP.
DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL.
AND, YOU KNOW, THE BIBLE SAYS
PARENTS, TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN UP
IN THE WAY THEY SHOULD GO AND THEY'LL NOT DEPART FROM IT.
THAT NIGHT THERE WAS A SCRIPTURE
THAT CAME BACK TO MY MIND
THAT I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT SINCE I WAS A KID,
AND IT WAS A SCRIPTURE MY PARENTS USED TO MAKE US
CONFESS AS KIDS.
AND THE SCRIPTURE WAS I WILL LIVE AND NOT DIE
AND DECLARE THE WORKS OF THE LORD.
AND SO I JUST POINTED IN THE DARKNESS.
IT WAS LIKE MIDNIGHT AND I HAD BEEN ALL ALONE,
WHICH IS TERRIBLE.
I TALK ABOUT IT IN THE BOOK.
THE ENEMY WANTS TO ISOLATE US IN OUR DEPRESSION,
GET US ALL ALONE THINKING WE'RE THE ONLY ONES
DEALING WITH THIS.
BUT I POINTED IN THE DARKNESS AND I WAS LIKE,
SATAN, I REBUKE YOU.
I CHOOSE TO LIVE AND NOT DIE AND DECLARE THE WORKS
OF THE LORD.
AND I JUST KEPT SAYING IT AS TEARS ARE COMING
DOWN MY CHEEKS AND I BACKED AWAY FROM THE BRIDGE
AND I NEVER WENT BACK.
NEVER HAD ANOTHER SUICIDAL THOUGHT.
AMEN.
YES.
BUT IT WAS A JOURNEY.
AFTER THAT, I SIGNED UP FOR THERAPY AND COUNSELING
AND AT FIRST MY MOM WAS LIKE
WE DON'T GO TO COUNSELORS, LIKE WE'RE, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE PEOPLE OF FAITH.
I WAS LIKE, NO, WE'RE GOING TO COUNSELING.
AND I STARTED LIKE - NOW, EVERYONE IN OUR CHURCH
LIKE EMBRACES THAT COUNSELING IS NOT A BAD THING.
IT'S NOT AN ADMISSION OF LIKE YOU'RE MESSED UP.
IT'S ACTUALLY A SIGN OF STRENGTH,
LIKE GO GET SOME HELP, GO.
AND SO I TALK ABOUT IN THE BOOK
JUST THAT MIXTURE OF WHAT GOD OFFERS TO HELP US
WALK IN VICTORY OVER DEPRESSION, OVER ANXIETY,
OVER ALL THE DIFFERENT MIND GAMES THE ENEMY PLAYS WITH US.
BUT THAT'S THAT'S MY STORY.
IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF MY JOURNEY.
THAT'S SO GOOD.
AND THE THING ABOUT COUNSELING IS
BECAUSE NOW EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT THERAPY.
THE PENDULUM HAS ONCE AGAIN SWUNG THE OTHER WAY.
IT'S SWUNG TO THE OTHER SIDE SO NOW IT'S
A LITTLE BIT OVERBOARD.
IT'S LIKE, ALL RIGHT, COME BACK TO THE WORD OF GOD, TOO.
EXACTLY. AND I THINK IN THE BODY OF CHRIST,
I THINK COUNSELING IS SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE
SHOULD EMBRACE.
BUT I THINK THERE NEEDS TO BE WISDOM
IN HOW YOU HANDLE IT, AND I THINK IT'S EXACTLY,
IT'S LIKE YOU CAN BE A PERSON OF FAITH,
BUT YOU HAVE TO PROCESS.
AND YOU HAD GONE THROUGH
SOMETHING REALLY TRAUMATIC.
AND NOT JUST THE DIFFICULTY OF
LOSING YOUR FATHER,
BUT THE DIFFICULTY OF THAT TRANSITION.
AND IT'S SO CRAZY LISTENING TO YOUR STORY
BECAUSE I RELATE SO MUCH TO YOUR STORY
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE WE HAD SIMILAR SITUATIONS
WHERE MY DAD WENT SUDDENLY,
THERE WASN'T REALLY A TRANSITION PLAN IN PLACE.
AND WHEN MY DAD WENT, KIND OF LIKE YOUR DAD,
IT AFFECTED BOTH MY PERSONAL LIFE,
MY SPIRITUAL LIFE,
MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE.
LIKE, IT AFFECTED EVERY SPHERE.
AND SO IT WAS THIS MASSIVE LIKE, YOU KNOW,
YOU THINK ABOUT THOSE PLATES IN THE EARTH,
LIKE WHEN THEY SHIFT, IT CAUSES AN EARTHQUAKE.
IT WAS LIKE THAT KIND OF SHIFT.
IT WAS HUGE.
HOW DID YOU HANDLE NOT ONLY LOSING YOUR FATHER,
BUT THEN WALKING INTO THE ROLE OF SENIOR PASTOR?
WHAT KEPT YOU GROUNDED?
YEAH.
THE PLATE SHAKING REMINDS ME OFINSIDE OUT,
WHEN HER WORLD STARTS LIKE CRASHING DOWN ONE BY ONE.
I SAW THE TRAILER FOR THE NEWINSIDE OUT MOVIE
AND STARTED CRYING.
AND ASHLEY MY WIFE WAS LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I WAS LIKE, LISTEN, I KNOW I'M GOING TO WEEP
DURING THIS MOVIE BECAUSE, LIKE, THESE CARTOONS,
THEY GET ME.
YEAH.
ESPECIALLY THAT ONE BECAUSE IT'S LIKE,
IT'S SO TRUE.
WE NEED SOMEONE TO HELP US SEE THE INSIDE
OF WHAT'S GOING ON IN OUR EMOTIONS
AND OUR SUPPRESSED EMOTIONS,
ALL OF THOSE THINGS.
AND SO, YEAH, WHEN MY DAD PASSED
IT AFFECTED ALL OF THE -
ALL OF THE CATEGORIES ON THE INSIDE.
LIKE YOU SAID, RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY SISTERS,
MY BROTHER, MY MOM,
MY DAD'S ASSOCIATE PASTOR,
HIS EXECUTIVE TEAM, THE BOARD,
MY WIFE AND CHURCH AND DAILY WORK.
AND JUST MY LONELY TIME, LIKE IT WAS LIKE EVERYTHING WAS
SO AFFECTED AND IT WAS SUCH AN EARTHQUAKE.
AND, HONESTLY, WHAT KEPT ME GROUNDED
WAS DEFINITELY, LIKE, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS,
WHICH IS SO CLICH !,
BUT IT'S SO TRUE.
NO, IT'S SO TRUE.
I WOULD GO TO THE -
HONESTLY, THE GRAVEYARD IS THE LAST PLACE
I WOULD FEEL CLOSE TO MY DAD AND CLOSE TO GOD.
I WOULD GO TO THE CHURCH WHEN NO ONE WAS THERE.
I'D WALK THE HALLWAYS WHERE HE WALKED.
I'D WALK AROUND THE CAMPUS AND AT NIGHTTIME, I STILL DO THIS.
I WOULD GO UP TO THE BUILDING
WHEN NO ONE WAS THERE, SIT AT THE PIANO, PLAY.
SCREAM, CRY, TALK TO GOD.
PROCESS.
YEAH, AND IT WASN'T JUST PROCESSING THAT I MISSED HIM,
IT WAS PROCESSING
THE RELATIONAL ANGST
THAT WAS HAPPENING ACROSS THE BOARD WITH HIM GONE.
IT WAS LIKE HIM LEAVING AFFECTED ALL THESE RELATIONSHIPS
AND WHO WAS GOING TO STAY IN THE CHURCH,
WHO WAS GOING TO QUIT,
WHO WAS GOING TO MISUNDERSTAND THIS
AND MISUNDERSTAND -
IT WAS ALL OF THAT.
AND SO I WOULD GO UP TO THE CHURCH, HONESTLY,
TO JUST LIKE, VENT TO GOD.
HE WAS MY COUNSELOR FOR A LONG TIME.
AND THEN I STARTED FINDING SOME REALLY HEALTHY MENTORS
THAT LIKE WOULD SPEAK INTO MY LIFE,
LISTEN, GIVE ME FEEDBACK AND SAY,
PAUL, WE NEED TO - WE NEED TO HELP YOU
HEAL FROM THAT, LIKE YOU NEED TO -
YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOURSELF.
YOU NEED TO FORGIVE YOUR DAD.
FORGIVE YOUR MOM.
YOU NEED TO LIKE - AND THAT WAS HEALTHY.
SO ALL OF THAT HELPED KEEP ME GROUNDED.
AND THEN I WOULD SEE PEOPLE THAT I KNEW
THAT WEREN'T DOING GOOD WHO HAD WALKED THROUGH LOSS,
AND THAT HAD KIND OF
JUST THROWN EVERYTHING AWAY.
AND I WAS LIKE, OKAY,
I DON'T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT,
BECAUSE THERE'S NO JOY IN THAT,
LIKE I NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO NOT GO DOWN THAT PATH.
AND SO I JUST KEPT REMINDING MYSELF
THERE'S A REASON TO GET UP.
THERE'S A REASON TO FIGHT FOR MENTAL HEALTH,
TO FIGHT FOR EMOTIONAL HEALTH,
TO FIGHT FOR SPIRITUAL HEALTH.
YEAH.
AND SO THAT WAS KIND OF LIKE MY MOTIVATION EVERY DAY,
WAS LIKE DON'T - DON'T THROW IT ALL AWAY.
BECAUSE THERE'S NO JOY IN THAT JOURNEY.
AND THE HEALTH OF YOUR SOUL
NOT ONLY WOULD AFFECT YOU,
IT WOULD AFFECT YOUR FAMILY, YOUR MARRIAGE,
YOUR MINISTRY.
AND SO IT - BUT I THINK THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD WORD
WHEN YOU WERE SAYING THAT YOU CHOSE TO PERSEVERE
AND I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER WORD, IS THAT SOMETIMES
YOU HAVE TO JUST KEEP GOING
EVEN THOUGH DAY AFTER DAY
YOU DON'T - THINGS DON'T SEEM TO BE GETTING BETTER.
YOU CONTINUE TO PERSEVERE
KNOWING THAT GOD IS FAITHFUL
AND YOU'RE GOING TO DO THE WORK TO
WORK THROUGH AND PROCESS AND HEAL
KNOWING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO COME OUT
THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS SEASON AND IT'S GOING TO BE BETTER.
I REMEMBER WHEN MY DAD PASSED,
I WAS JUST - I JUST KIND OF -
THERE WAS LIKE THIS HOPELESSNESS THAT I STRUGGLED WITH.
AND THEN I STRUGGLED WITH FEELING LIKE
IS THERE ANYTHING GOOD IN THE FUTURE, WHICH I DON'T KNOW WHY,
BECAUSE I HAD SO MANY GREAT THINGS IN MY LIFE.
AND I REMEMBER ONE DAY I WAS WALKING
AND I COULD JUST, LIKE IT WAS
REALLY BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE.
IT WAS FALL IN TEXAS.
I REMEMBER IT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
AND I JUST HEARD THE LORD SAY LIKE -
OH, MAN, I KNEW WHEN YOU WERE COMING,
I WAS LIKE I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY DAD AND CRY.
I'M SORRY.
BUT I REMEMBER JUST STRUGGLING WITH THIS
FEELING OF HOPELESSNESS AND KIND OF THINKING LIKE,
WHAT IS IN MY FUTURE,
AND I REALLY HAD A MOMENT WHERE I WAS THINKING
THERE IS NO GOOD IN MY FUTURE, WHICH IS CRAZY
BECAUSE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLE HUSBAND,
I HAVE GREAT KIDS.
AND I REMEMBER AS I WAS WALKING OUTSIDE,
IT WAS REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
THE LEAVES WERE FALLING, THE WIND WAS MAKING THEM FLOW,
FLOW IN THE WIND.
AND I REMEMBER THE LORD SPOKE TO ME
AND I REMEMBER THINKING,
WOW, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
AND THE LORD SPOKE TO ME AND HE SAID
THERE ARE GOOD THINGS FOR YOU IN YOUR FUTURE.
KEEP GOING.
AND SO THAT'S WHAT I HAD TO DO.
AND I THINK THIS IS SUCH A GREAT BOOK
BECAUSE THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS,
YOU'RE GOING TO GO THROUGH DIFFICULT STUFF,
ALL OF US ARE.
WHETHER IT'S LOSING SOMEONE,
WHICH WE'LL ALL LOSE SOMEONE EVENTUALLY.
YEAH.
TRANSITION, ALL THE THINGS YOU TALK ABOUT,
AND SO THIS IS GREAT THAT YOU WROTE THIS BOOK.
THIS IS THE BOOK, MIND GAMES,
AND A TEN-YEAR-IN-THE-MAKING PROCESS,
WHICH IS KIND OF BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE A LOT OF TIMES
WHEN PEOPLE MAKE BOOKS, THEY POP THEM OUT REAL QUICK.
BUT THIS REALLY IS KIND OF A WHOLE SUMMATION
OF THAT JOURNEY, THAT TRANSITION,
AND HOW GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL AND HAS BROUGHT YOU
TO WHERE YOU ARE NOW.
AND YOU CAN SAY NOT ONLY DID I GO THROUGH THIS,
BUT GOD HAS BROUGHT ME HERE TODAY
AND I'VE MADE IT THROUGH, SO THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
I THINK THE LAST THING
I JUST WANT YOU TO SAY IS JUST FINAL COMMENTS
AND ALSO PITCH - WHERE CAN THEY GET THIS?
YEAH, TOTALLY.
WELL, THE BOOK IS AVAILABLE ANYWHERE
BOOKS ARE SOLD, IN AMAZON BOOKS, AUDIBLE.
I READ THE BOOK TO YOU ON AUDIBLE
AND I ADD SOME OF MY OWN COMMENTARY.
I HAVE A CHAPTER ON THERE, SO AFTER I WROTE THE,
LIKE, AFTER I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT I DID
AND CHOSE TO FIGHT,
I ALSO SHARE STORIES FROM THE FIGHT
SINCE BEING PASTOR.
AND ONE CHAPTER IS ALL ABOUT
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER PASTOR IN TOWN,
WHOSE CHURCH BLEW UP REAL BIG, AND THAT'S MIKE TODD.
AND SO ME AND MIKE KNEW EACH OTHER
SINCE WE WERE TEENAGERS,
AND HE TOOK OVER HIS CHURCH AROUND THE SAME TIME,
BUT I HAVE A WHOLE CHAPTER ABOUT
COMPARISON, ENVY AND THEN CONTENTMENT.
AND SO, YOU KNOW,
I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE HAD MIKE ON HERE,
BUT MIKE AND I, IT'S SO INTERESTING,
BECAUSE I LOOK AT THAT BOOK AND I'M LIKE,
IT'S TEN YEARS IN THE MAKING,
BUT IT'S ALSO THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I THINK WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE MIND GAMES,
WHETHER THOSE MIND GAMES COME FROM GRIEF, LOSS,
COMPARISON, JEALOUSY, ANGER,
FEAR ABOUT LIKE RAISING KIDS IN THIS CRAZY WORLD,
BUT ALL OF THE MIND GAMES THAT HAPPENED
IN MY JOURNEY THAT I WRITE IN THAT BOOK
ARE TEN YEARS IN THE MAKING.
AND THEN I'M LIKE, OKAY,
I GOTTA THINK OF THIS NEXT BOOK
BECAUSE THE NEXT BOOK IS LIKE ALSO
JUST A CONTINUATION OF WINNING THE BATTLE FOR THE MIND,
LIKE WINNING THOSE LIES OF THE ENEMY
THAT TRY TO DISTRACT US, DISCOURAGE US, DEFEAT US,
MAKE US FEEL LIKE WE'RE INADEQUATE
OR WE DON'T MEASURE UP,
AND I THINK THAT'S THE STORY FOR SO MANY PEOPLE.
AS A PASTOR, I MEET PEOPLE AT THE ALTAR EVERY WEEK
THAT ARE LIKE, I LOST MY DAD, I LOST MY SON,
I LOST MY WIFE, I LOST MY HUSBAND.
OR THEY'RE LIKE I LOST MY JOB, OR MY SPOUSE LEFT ME,
OR THIS, AND IT'S LIKE ALL OF THESE THINGS
THAT HAPPEN CAN CRIPPLE PEOPLE IN THEIR MIND
BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO START OVER,
THERE'S NO HOPE,
MY BEST DAYS ARE BEHIND ME,
GOD'S FINISHED WITH ME,
I FAILED, I MESSED UP, WHATEVER IT IS.
AND THIS BOOK, I THINK,
IS JUST A REMINDER, LIKE, GOD'S NOT DONE.
YEAH.
YOUR BEST DAYS ARE NOT BEHIND YOU.
YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL.
WHETHER THAT'S THROWING IN THE TOWEL
PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY, BECAUSE PEOPLE CAN LIVE
BUT NOT BE ALIVE.
AND SO I JUST ENCOURAGE PEOPLE
AS THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT WHETHER IT'S THIS BOOK
OR ANYTHING ON WINNING IN THE MIND,
THE MIND IS SO IMPORTANT.
AND I THINK WE HAVE TO PAY MORE ATTENTION
TO WHAT WE'RE PAYING ATTENTION TO
ON THE INSIDE
SO THAT WE CAN WIN ON THE OUTSIDE.
THAT'S SO GOOD.
WELL, PAUL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
LIKE HE SAID, YOU CAN GET HIS BOOK,
MIND GAMES,
ON AMAZON OR WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD.
AND I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU
FOR LISTENING TO THE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST.