REBECCA: HEY, GUYS, LIFE UPDATE.
WE HAD OUR BABY GIRL.
IN TODAY'S EPISODE,
I SIT DOWN WITH LEIF HETLAND
AND WE DISCUSS HIS BOOK
HEALING THE ORPHAN SPIRIT.
NOW I WAS PREGNANT WITH THIS BABY
WHEN I DID THIS INTERVIEW.
AND THIS INTERVIEW CHANGED MY LIFE,
IT NOT ONLY HELPED ME WITH PREGNANCY
AND POSTPARTUM AND I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE A BLESSING
FOR YOU TOO.
REBECCA: HEY, GUYS.
WELCOME BACK TOTHE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST.
I AM JOINED TODAY WITH LEIF HETLAND.
HE IS THE AUTHOR, FOUNDER AND PRESIDENT
OF GLOBAL MISSIONS AWARENESS.
AND WE'RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT HIS BOOK TODAY,
HEALING THE ORPHAN SPIRIT.
AND I WAS JUST DISCUSSING WITH YOU OFF CAMERA,
YOU'VE ACTUALLY WRITTEN QUITE
A LOT OF REALLY GREAT BOOKS.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS ANOTHER BOOK YOU WERE
TALKING ABOUT THAT I THINK IS VERY IMPORTANT IS IT
CALLED DESTINED TO REIGN?
LEIF:CALLED TO REIGN.
REBECCA:CALLED TO REIGN.
I WANT YOU TO SPEAK ON THAT JUST FOR A LITTLE BIT.
LEIF: YEAH.
BECAUSE WE LIVE IN AN ORPHAN WORLD WHERE THE
ORPHAN SPIRIT IS SO CLEAR.
SO I REMEMBER I WAS SITTING ON AN AIRPLANE AND
I WAS SITTING ON BUSINESS CLASS,
AND THE GUY NEXT TO ME SAID, HI, AND I SAID, HI.
AND I KNOW WHAT THE NEXT QUESTION IS GOING TO BE.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
REBECCA: WHAT DO YOU DO?
LEIF: YEAH, BECAUSE AGAIN, IN THE ORPHAN WORLD,
IF YOU DO, YOU HAVE, YOU BECOME.
SO I CAN MEASURE YOU BY
WITH HOW WELL YOU DO AND WHAT YOU DO.
AND SO I JUST REALIZED THAT HOW DO I DEAL WITH
THIS FROM A KINGDOM PERSPECTIVE?
AND THEN THERE'S FOUR QUESTIONS THAT FOR ME
IS SO SIGNIFICANT.
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO ARE YOU AND WHO IS LEIF HETLAND?
WHO, WHO AM I?
AND I'VE BEEN DRILLING, DRILLING DEEP.
SO THAT BOOK IS BASED UPON THESE FOUR FOUNDATIONS.
WHO ARE YOU?
IDENTITY.
AND THEN THE SECOND OF ALL, INTIMACY.
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHERE ARE YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO HIM?
CAN YOU SEE HIS FACE?
CAN YOU HEAR HIS VOICE?
CAN YOU FEEL HIS LOVE?
WHERE ARE YOU?
SO WHEN HE SAID, ADAM, ADAM, WHERE ARE YOU?
IT WAS NOT ABOUT LOCATION.
IT WAS ADAM AT THAT MOMENT.
REBECCA: HIS PROXIMITY.
LEIF: YEAH, PROXIMITY.
AND THEN INHERITANCE.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
WHAT IS AVAILABLE?
EVERYTHING THAT JESUS PAID FOR ON
THE CROSS IS AVAILABLE.
BUT SO FEW PEOPLE HAVE ACCESS TO IT,
AND MOST PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO WORK FOR IT INSTEAD OF
REALIZING FROM THE IDENTITY, INTIMACY,
THERE IS INHERITANCE.
AND THEN WHAT ARE YOU CALLED TO DO?
WHAT IS YOUR SPECIAL SAUCE?
OR WHAT IS YOUR UNIQUENESS?
DESTINY.
THERE'S A DESTINY FOR EACH PERSON IN THIS WORLD.
BUT THE DESTINY IS FOUND IN THEIR IDENTITY.
AND OUT OF THE IDENTITY,
EVERYTHING COMES FROM INTIMACY.
AND THEN FROM THE INTIMACY,
NOW YOU HAVE ACCESS TO EVERYTHING THAT HE PAID FOR.
AND THEN I'M STEPPING IN,
IF YOU'RE A CEO OR A HOUSEWIFE OR YOU'RE A PRODUCER,
OR YOU'RE RUNNING A CAMERA,
FROM THAT VERY PLACE, YOU HAVE PURPOSE AND YOU'RE
SUDDENLY BRINGING GLORY.
IT'S LIKE A FISH IN WATER,
YOU'RE BECOMING ALIVE.
AN EAGLE IN THE SKY,
YOU START TO SOAR.
SO I JUST WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE BECAUSE I'M SEEING
WHAT THE ENEMY IS DOING.
HE'S TRYING TO STEAL THE IDENTITY OF
A WHOLE GENERATION.
AND I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT.
NO, NO, LET ME TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE.
SO IT'S NOT WHAT YOU DO THAT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE.
IT IS WHO YOU ARE THAT MAKES YOU DO WHAT YOU DO.
REBECCA: IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE.
AND I THINK I SEE SO MANY, EVEN BELIEVERS, THAT ARE
STRUGGLING, THAT ARE STRUGGLING WITH THIS
ORPHAN SPIRIT, THAT ARE STRUGGLING.
THEY DON'T HAVE AN IDENTITY,
AND THEY'RE LOOKING FOR THINGS IN THE WRONG PLACES.
AND IT CAUSES EVEN FIGHTS AND SKIRMISHES
WITHIN THE CHURCH WHICH THE ENEMY WANTS.
HE WANTS US TO BE FIGHTING ONE ANOTHER.
AND I FEEL LIKE IF SO MANY MORE PEOPLE COULD
UNDERSTAND WHO THE FATHER IS AND WHO THEY ARE IN CHRIST,
THEY WOULD HAVE SUCH A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
THINGS WOULD BE SO DIFFERENT.
AND BUT IT'S MISSING IN SO MANY, EVEN BELIEVERS.
NOT JUST, OF COURSE, IN NONBELIEVERS.
BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, IF YOU HAVE NOT COME INTO THE
FAMILY OF GOD, YOU ARE AN ORPHAN,
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE ALL WERE BORN INTO SIN.
SO WE WERE ALL BORN REJECTED BY GOD.
AND SO THROUGH SALVATION, WE COME IN THROUGH CHRIST,
WE COME INTO THE FAMILY OF GOD,
AND GOD BEGINS TO UNPACK IN US THAT IDENTITY,
THEN THAT INTIMACY, THEN THAT PURPOSE.
BUT WHAT SO MANY PEOPLE DO IS THEY COME INTO
THE FAITH AND THEY WANT TO SKIP STRAIGHT TO PURPOSE.
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: AND THEN YOU HAVE ALL THESE PEOPLE OPERATING
IN MINISTRY THAT, THAT ARE WANTING TO WALK IN
PURPOSE, BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE .
AND SO THEY START TRYING TO LOOK FOR WHO THEY ARE
IN OTHER PEOPLE AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
AND THEY'RE MISSING,
THEY'RE NOT OPERATING FROM THAT PLACE OF SONSHIP.
SO ALL PEOPLE NEED TO, IN THE FAITH,
NEED TO KNOW THAT THEY'RE IN THE FAMILY OF GOD.
BUT A LOT OF TIMES LIFE SENDS US MESSAGES THROUGH
PAIN AND THROUGH BAD EXPERIENCES THAT HURT OUR VIEW,
AND GOD HAS TO COME IN AND HEAL THAT.
AND SO YOUR STORY IS A STORY THAT SPEAKS SO WELL
TO THIS, BECAUSE YOU WERE OPERATING IN AN ORPHAN SPIRIT
FOR EVEN A GOOD PART OF MINISTRY,
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.
SO I WANT TO GET INTO YOUR TESTIMONY FIRST,
THEN I WANT TO GET INTO THIS
HEALING THE ORPHAN SPIRIT, THE BOOK.
SO LET'S START BACK, ALL THE WAY BACK TO BEFORE YOU
WERE EVEN BORN,
THERE WAS AN ATTACK ON YOUR LIFE
WHERE THE ENEMY STARTED TRYING TO GO AFTER YOU.
AND IT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE GREAT CALLING
AND DESTINY AND PURPOSE, THE ENEMY WANTS TO
TRY TO STOP THAT.
LEIF: THAT'S RIGHT.
REBECCA: FROM I MEAN, AS SOON, I MEAN, AS IN THE WOMB,
SO MANY PEOPLE GET AFFECTED.
SO BRING US BACK TO THAT POINT.
LEIF: YEAH,
AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT ACTUALLY BEFORE.
REBECCA: NO.
LEIF: I MEAN, I WAS AN ADULT BEFORE I FOUND OUT.
IT WAS ACTUALLY MY WIFE
ASKING STORIES TO MY MOM,
AND MY MOM WAS THE ONE THAT THEN DESCRIBED,
OH, WHEN I CARRIED LEIF, I HAD THIS MAJOR SURGERY
THAT WAS TAKING PLACE, AND THAT'S HOW I FOUND OUT
I WAS PREGNANT.
BUT AT THAT MOMENT, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT MY MOM
CARRIED ME IN FEAR.
DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO THE BABY?
SO I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT SOME OF MY FEAR TENDENCY
WAS ALREADY THERE.
REBECCA: AND FROM THE WOMB.
LEIF: FROM THE WOMB, YEAH.
SO THEN YOU GO THROUGH AND YOU'RE WONDERING
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
OR YOU MAY BE GOING THROUGH DIFFERENT THINGS
AND SOMETIMES IT'S THE SUBCONSCIOUS.
YOU DO NOT REALIZE THAT THERE'S A ROOT ISSUE THAT
IS GOING ON HERE.
REBECCA: EXACTLY.
AND SO MANY OF US, STUFF HAPPENED IN THE WOMB,
AND WE WON'T KNOW BECAUSE WE WERE LITERALLY LITTLE
BABIES IN THE WOMB.
BUT GOD CAN SHOW US.
AND YOU HEARD THE STORY THROUGH YOUR MOM LATER ON
THROUGH YOUR WIFE, AND THEN THE HOLY SPIRIT WOULD
SHOW IT TO YOU LATER.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO SKIP AHEAD.
SO IN THE WOMB --
YOU WERE IN THE WOMB,
YOUR MOM HAD MAJOR SURGERY, AND YOUR MOM DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS PREGNANT.
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: AND SHE DIDN'T FIND OUT UNTIL?
LEIF: AFTERWARDS.
REBECCA: AFTERWARDS.
AND SO SHE WAS NERVOUS AND SCARED.
AND SO THAT'S WHERE FEAR REALLY BEGAN TO ENTER YOUR
LIFE EVEN THEN.
LEIF: AND SOME PEOPLE ASK ME BECAUSE THEY'VE SEEN ME
SPEAKING TO STADIUMS OR SEE ME WRITING BOOKS
AND EVERYTHING.
HEY, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS LOVE FROM?
OR YOU'RE LOVING MUSLIMS,
AND YOU'RE LOVING THE RADICAL.
I SAID, FEAR THAT'S WHERE THIS STARTED.
SO IF YOU START TO SAY, WHY DOES THE ENEMY TRY TO
KILL THE BABY BOYS?
OH, MOSES, THE DELIVERER IS COMING.
WHY IS THE ENEMY TRYING TO KILL THE BABY BOYS?
OH, JESUS THE SAVIOR IS COMING.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: SO IF IT STARTS TO TRACE BACK AGAIN.
BECAUSE FROM HEAVEN,
THAT'S WHY I STARTED WITH THE IDENTITY.
WHO WAS LEIF HETLAND BEFORE THE FOUNDATION
OF THE WORLD?
AND THAT'S WHO GOD SAW.
AND EVEN WITH A CONCEPTION OF THAT,
THERE WAS NO COINCIDENCE.
THERE WAS 50 MILLION SPERM CELLS ALL THE WAY ON THE
RACE TOWARDS A DROPPING EGG CELL.
AND I WON THE RACE.
AND SO DID YOU.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: SO YOU STARTED OUT AS A WINNER,
BUT THEN THE ENEMY RECOGNIZING SOMETHING
ABOUT YOU, AND HE'S TRYING TO STOP DESTINY.
AND FOR SOME, IT HAPPENED IN THE MOTHER'S WOMB.
OTHER ONES THROUGH LIFE THINGS HAPPENED OR FEAR COMES IN,
SHAME COMES IN, GUILT COMES IN, THINGS HAPPEN.
AND SUDDENLY IN THE NEXT MOMENT,
THE ENEMY TRIED TO RELABEL US,
THERE CAN BE TRAUMA.
IT COULD BE THINGS THAT HAPPENED.
AND WE HAVE THE WRONG LABEL,
AND WE GET OUR IDENTITY IN SOME OF
THOSE THINGS THAT EITHER HAPPEN TO US OR
PEOPLE DID, CIRCUMSTANCES.
AND IT STARTS TO AFFECT US.
SO WHEN JESUS CAME, IT WAS NOT JUST TO
SAVE US FROM SOMETHING,
BUT IT WAS TO SAVE US TO SOMETHING.
AND IT WAS TO RESTORE ALL OF THE THINGS THAT THE
ENEMY HAS STOLEN.
SO I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
SO I WENT THROUGH LIFE AND THEN LATER ON I WAS ABOUT
12 YEARS OLD, AND I PRETTY MUCH WAS INNOCENT
AND GODLY FAMILY, GODLY PARENTS.
THEN A GROWN MAN WAS ATTACKING ME,
TRIED TO TEAR OFF ALL OF MY CLOTHES.
A BIG GUY, AND THIS -- HE WAS TRYING TO RAPE ME.
AND THEN SUDDENLY NOW SHAME CAME IN AND GUILT
AND I COULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
SO YOU COVER UP.
REBECCA: DID YOU KNOW THE GUY?
LEIF: WELL, SORT OF.
I WAS ACTUALLY DOING GROCERY SHOPPING FOR
SOMEONE BECAUSE A FRIEND OF MINE SAYS, HEY,
I CAN'T DO IT.
I NORMALLY DO GROCERY SHOPPING FOR THIS,
THIS GUY.
AND SO HE HAD SOME HANDICAP,
BUT HE WAS -- I WEIGHED MAYBE A HUNDRED POUNDS.
HE WAS LIKE 240 POUNDS.
AND I WAS GOING TO SIT DOWN THERE TO GET --
HE WAS GOING TO PAY
ME A LITTLE BIT FOR GOING
AND DO THE GROCERY SHOPPING.
AND THEN SUDDENLY HE STARTED TO ATTACK.
SO I HAD ALL, I WAS ABLE TO ESCAPE,
BUT I HAD ALL THIS TRAUMA.
AND THEN YOU FEEL SHAME AND YOU FELT GUILT
AND YOU FELT DIRTY.
YOU HADN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG,
BUT THE ENEMY CAME IN.
SO HE WAS TRYING TO STEAL MY IDENTITY.
SO WHAT IS MY MESSAGE ALL ABOUT TODAY?
IDENTITY.
WHAT IS MY MESSAGE?
IT'S ABOUT IS ELIMINATING AND
GET RID OF FEAR, SHAME, AND GUILT.
THOSE ARE THE THREE BIG GIANTS THAT I FACED AND
I'VE HAD TO FACE.
SO, SO SOMETIMES IF IT WAS NOT FOR GOLIATH,
DAVID WOULD HAVE ONLY BEEN ANOTHER SHEPHERD BOY.
SO ON OUR JOURNEY TOWARDS OUR DESTINY,
WE FACE DIFFERENT GIANTS.
AND IN THIS THING, FOR ME, THERE WAS THAT INCIDENT.
AND FOR ME, THEN THE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE,
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR PLEASURE.
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO MEDICATE
BECAUSE YOU HAVE PAIN.
AND FOR ME, I DIDN'T KNOW BECAUSE CHURCH DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO HANDLE IT.
I COULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT.
SO I STARTED TO TRY TO MEDICATE, ALCOHOL, LATER ON
DRUGS AND ANYTHING THAT I COULD BECAUSE I DIDN'T
WANT TO FEEL THIS PAIN.
REBECCA: SO FROM THE MOMENT THAT YOU SUFFERED THAT TRAUMA,
YOU WERE STRUGGLING WITH THAT AND YOU COULDN'T --
YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FIX --
IT CAUSED PAIN AND SHAME AND GUILT.
BECAUSE A LOT OF TIMES WHAT HAPPENS WITH
SHAME IS EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,
THAT YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THAT.
THE MESSAGE, IT'S SO WEIRD.
I DON'T KNOW WHY WE DO THIS.
BUT WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS TO US,
WE FEEL SHAME AND WE BLAME OURSELVES.
AND SO YOU HAD THAT COME IN ON YOU.
AND SO WHEN YOU GOT A LITTLE BIT OLDER,
YOU GOT INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL TO TRY TO
MEDICATE, SELF-MEDICATE.
LEIF: YEAH, YEAH.
REBECCA: BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE WAS WORKING.
LEIF: THAT'S RIGHT.
AND IT IS PART OF WHY PEOPLE,
IF THAT'S PORNOGRAPHY, IF IT IS DRUGS OR ALCOHOL,
A LOT OF THE THINGS WE SEE OF SELF-MEDICATION OUT THERE
IS CONNECTED TO ROOT ISSUES THAT IS TAKING
PLACE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN DEALT WITH.
REBECCA: YES, THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.
THE ROOT ISSUE IS A LOT OF TIMES THAT IS
JUST A COVER-UP.
IT'S TRYING TO MEDICATE SOMETHING AND THEY DON'T --
PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE ROOT
OF WHAT'S CAUSING THAT BEHAVIOR.
AND IT'S SO --
ONE OF THE THINGS I WANT TO SAY IS LIKE,
THIS IS SO COMMON AND I THINK WHEN YOU GROW
UP IN THE CHURCH WORLD,
THERE CAN BE SUCH A FOCUS ON OUTWARD BEHAVIOR THAT
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TALK ABOUT THE HEART
AND THE ROOT PROBLEM,
AND WE NEED TO GET TO THE ROOT PROBLEM
BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE ROOT PROBLEMS,
AND THEY'RE JUST REALLY GOOD PERFORMING CHRISTIANS.
LEIF: THAT'S RIGHT.
REBECCA: AND ON THE OUTSIDE YOU THINK, WOW,
THEY'RE GREAT AND THEY'RE PERFECT,
BUT THEY'RE BROKEN INSIDE.
SO WHETHER IT'S YOUR, YOU KNOW,
INTO DRUGS OR PORN OR FOOD OR WHATEVER YOU'RE USING TO
SELF-MEDICATE OR YOU'RE A PERFORMER, YOU KNOW,
THESE -- THE THINGS THAT WE SHARE IS THAT THERE'S
BROKENNESS AND GOD WANTS TO GET TO THE ROOT BECAUSE
HE WANTS HIS CHILDREN TO BE IN FREEDOM.
SO DID YOU EVER TELL ANYBODY ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED TO YOU, OR DID YOU KEEP IT SECRET?
LEIF: I KEPT IT SECRET EVEN TO MY ADULT YEARS.
YEAH, SO IT WAS --
AND EVENTUALLY WHEN I WAS 18,
AND IT'S A LONG STORY, I WAS A PRODIGAL SON
AFTER BEING KICKED OUT OF A BOARDING SCHOOL.
REBECCA: WHAT DRUGS DID YOU GET INTO?
LEIF: PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING THAT I COULD GET HOLD OF.
BUT BACK THEN, THE HEROIN AND FENTANYL WAS NOT THAT
BIG IN NORWAY.
IT WAS PRIMARILY IN OSLO AND SOME OTHER MAJOR PLACES.
SO TODAY I WOULD HAVE BEEN IN EVEN WORSE SHAPE BECAUSE
OF THE METHAMPHETAMINES AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
SO I THINK THAT AT THAT TIME, IT WAS JUST ANYTHING
THAT YOU COULD GET HOLD OF OF DRUGS JUST TO GET HIGH
OR DRUNK, OR BECAUSE IT JUST WENT DOWN THE SPIRAL.
REBECCA: AND SO YOUR PARENTS WERE TRYING TO --
YOU JUST -- DID YOU RUN AWAY FROM HOME?
LEIF: NO, I DIDN'T RUN.
BUT THEY SENT ME TO A BOARDING SCHOOL.
THEY TRIED TO GET ME BETTER.
I HAD BEEN ARRESTED WHEN --
JUST GOT IN JAIL
WHEN I WAS 15.
MY MOM CAME AND PICKED ME UP.
LATER ON, THAT'S WHEN THEY REALIZED, OH,
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
AND THEY, THEY COULD SEE IT,
BUT THEY ALSO WANTED TO DENY.
BUT THEY SAW THE SPIRAL.
SO THEY DECIDED TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO GET
ME TO A BOARDING SCHOOL.
WITHIN A WEEK,
I FOUND OTHER ORPHANS WITH ORPHAN SPIRITS THAT ARE HURT.
AND HURT PEOPLE HURTS PEOPLE.
SO WE --
REBECCA: AND YOU ATTRACT LIKE.
LEIF: YEAH, WE ATTRACT LIKE.
AND SO WE GOT TOGETHER AND A WEEK LATER GOT CAUGHT
FOR BOTH BUYING THE DRUGS AND USING DRUGS AND GOT
KICKED OUT, IT HIT THE NEWSPAPER.
AND I CAME FROM A GOOD, GODLY FAMILY AND NOW
AGAIN, NOW YOU'VE SHAMED YOUR FAMILY AND THE ENEMY
TRIED MORE TO BLACKMAIL YOU.
SO NOW YOU'RE JUST LIKE, HEY,
YOU CANNOT BE AROUND YOUR FAMILY,
YOU CANNOT.
BUT IT STARTED A JOURNEY WITH ME
THAT KIND OF WHAT A PRODIGAL SON.
MAYBE IT IS BETTER TO BE HOME,
EVEN IF I HAVE NOTHING THAN BEING IN THE PARK IN
OSLO AND HAVE NO PLACE TO BE.
AND EVENTUALLY, IT WAS ALSO ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES WHEN
MY FATHER EMBRACED ME AND SHOWED AFFECTION.
MY NATURAL FATHER, THAT I THINK STARTED MY JOURNEY
TO MEET JESUS, LATER ON, THE JESUS THEY KNEW.
SO THIS LED ACTUALLY A FEW MONTHS
LATER TO MY SALVATION IN 1984.
REBECCA: OH, SO YOU GREW UP IN A CHRISTIAN HOME,
BUT YOU DIDN'T GET SAVED UNTIL LATER?
LEIF: NO, I DIDN'T GET SAVED BECAUSE AGAIN
OF THE -- THAT THING THAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS 12.
IT BROUGHT ME INTO THE PRODIGAL SON TENDENCY.
AND THEN I HAD A VIEW OF GOD,
HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN,
GOD, IF YOU'RE A GOOD GOD.
SO AS WELL AS THE CHURCH ALSO REFLECTED A GOD THAT
DIDN'T LOOK LIKE JESUS.
SO THERE IS MORE JUST, HEY,
YOU JUST RUN TO THE ALTAR AND GET WELL
OR YOU PRAY YOUR PRAYER.
SO I COULDN'T REALLY OPEN UP, I DIDN'T.
THERE WAS NOT MUCH OF THINGS THAT COULD HELP
THOSE DEEPEST AREAS.
AND I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
I JUST WANTED SOMETHING TO FIX MY PAIN.
REBECCA: DID YOUR FATHER, SO HE WAS NOT AS AFFECTIONATE
GROWING UP AS WELL?
LEIF: NO.
MY FATHER IS A GREAT, GREAT GUY.
HE'S STILL ALIVE TODAY, BUT HE CAME FROM SECOND
WORLD WAR, BORN IN NORWAY, CAME FROM A PLACE
I PROVIDE FOR YOU.
WE PROTECT.
SO HE'S A GOOD --
AND WITH THE GRANDKIDS,
HE'S AMAZING.
BUT FOR ME, AT THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU NEEDED AFFECTION
OR PERHAPS AFFIRMATION OR SOME OF THE BASIC NEEDS
THAT YOU HAVE.
AND THAT'S PART OF THE THING I'M DEALING WITH,
ORPHAN SPIRIT, SOME OF THOSE ROOT ISSUES THAT
IS MISSING THAT ALSO SOMETIMES,
AGAIN CONNECTED WITH PAPA GOD.
TODAY, I CALL HIM PAPA, AS YOU WILL FIND LATER
ON IN THE STORY.
BUT AT THAT TIME PERIOD,
SO EVEN WHEN I MET JESUS, I GOT GLORIOUSLY SAVED.
AND JESUS HEALED ME AND SET ME FREE.
NOW, AFTER WHAT JESUS HAS DONE FOR ME,
I LOVED JESUS.
BUT SOMEHOW I WAS SAVED FROM SOMETHING.
I JUST STILL DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS SAVED TO.
SO IF YOU REMEMBER, THE BIBLE SAYS JESUS IS THE WAY.
OKAY, WAY TO WHERE?
SO I'M ON A JOURNEY, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S
SUPPOSED TO LEAD ME TO.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: I'M THE TRUTH, TRUTH ABOUT WHAT?
JESUS SAID,
IF YOU HAVE SEEN ME, YOU HAVE SEEN WHAT?
THE FATHER.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW, SO IT WAS --
I'M COMING HERE AND HAVING A GLORIOUS SALVATION
EXPERIENCE THAT I'M MEETING JESUS.
BUT SOMEHOW THE GOSPEL MESSAGE WAS A HALF MESSAGE
THAT I HAD.
IT WAS A GOSPEL MESSAGE THAT NEVER DEALT WITH
THE ROOT ISSUES IN MY LIFE AND NEVER GAVE ME A HOME.
SO IN A SENSE, YOU CAN HAVE A HOUSE WITHOUT A HOME,
BUT I DON'T HAVE THE SECURITY, THE LOVE,
THE VALUE, THE PURPOSE, THE AFFIRMATION,
THE BASIC THINGS THAT ARE NEEDED.
AND I HAVE A SHATTERED SOUL.
SO I STILL HAVE TRAUMA IN MY LIFE.
SO YOU HAVE SOME OF THOSE THINGS THAT -- SO I HAD A GOSPEL
THAT TOOK CARE OF THE PARTIAL ISSUE, SIN.
BUT WHAT ABOUT FEAR, SHAME AND GUILT AND SOME OF
THOSE OTHER THINGS?
SO FOR ME, THAT WAS ANOTHER PART OF THE JOURNEY.
SO FOR ME, AND OFTEN WHAT HAPPENED WITH US THEN,
NOW YOU GO TO BECOME A GOOD PRODIGAL BROTHER.
SO YOU'RE GETTING OUT THERE,
OH, NO, BECAUSE OF WHAT JESUS HAS DONE FOR ME,
I'M GOING TO SERVE HIM.
SO IF I DO SOMETHING, I HAVE SOMETHING.
I BECOME SOMETHING.
WELCOME TO THE ORPHAN WORLD WHERE THE ORPHAN MAKER,
LUCIFER HIMSELF, JUST LOVES FOR US TO GET
ON THE PERFORMANCE TREADMILL OF FEELING WE
HAVE TO DO, TO HAVE TO BECOME.
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WITH ME.
REBECCA: AND WHAT ENDS UP HAPPENING IS,
IS WHEN YOU'RE IN THIS PERFORMANCE MENTALITY
AND CHRISTIANITY, AND I STRUGGLED WITH THIS MYSELF.
YOU'RE LIVING IN FEAR AND YOU WILL -- IT WILL
EVENTUALLY LEAD TO BURNOUT OF SOME KIND OR EVEN
FALLING INTO SIN BECAUSE YOU'RE RUNNING
YOURSELF SO RAGGED.
YOU'RE NOT LIVING FROM THE LOVE OF GOD.
YOU'RE TRYING TO PERFORM TO EARN THE LOVE OF GOD.
LEIF: THAT'S RIGHT.
REBECCA: SO YOU'RE NOT RECEIVING IT ACTIVELY.
SO YOU GET SAVED AT 18, BUT LIKE YOU SAID,
YOU KNOW, WHEN WE GET SAVED,
OUR SPIRIT IS SAVED,
BUT THE SOUL NEEDS HEALING
AND IT NEEDS SANCTIFICATION.
BUT, YOU KNOW, GOD HAS TO COME IN AND FIX THE
FRAGMENTS WITHIN OUR SOUL AND GO BACK INTO THOSE
TRAUMAS AND THOSE THE LIES THAT WE BELIEVE.
NOT JUST THE PAIN THAT WE EXPERIENCED,
BUT THE LIES THAT WE CONNECT.
YOU KNOW, SO MANY TIMES WHEN PEOPLE HAVE SOMETHING
BAD HAPPEN TO THEM, IT WRECKS THEIR SELF-WORTH OR
THEY IDENTIFY THAT THEY'RE DIRTY OR NASTY.
THIS IS SO -- I HEAR THIS STORY ALL THE TIME.
IT'S SO COMMON AND SO IT'S NOT, YOU KNOW,
IT'S ONE THING TO BE SAVED AND TO KNOW YOU'RE GOING
TO HEAVEN, BUT GOD, LIKE YOU SAID,
HE IS SO MUCH MORE FOR US THAN US.
THERE'S A WHOLE INHERITANCE.
AND SO WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS IS IN YOUR STORY IS
THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO WALK INTO THAT PROMISES THAT HE
HAS FOR US HERE AND NOW, HERE ON EARTH.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL HEAVEN.
AND THAT'S WHAT I WANT FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE WATCHING.
IT'S LIKE, I WANT YOU TO LIVE IN FREEDOM AND TO LIVE,
BECAUSE WHAT'S SO COOL ABOUT YOUR STORY IS
WHEN YOU BEGIN TO GET THAT INNER HEALING,
GOD WAS ABLE TO MAKE SUCH A BIGGER IMPACT THROUGH YOU
BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T PERFORMING OUT.
YOU WERE LETTING HIS LOVE FLOW THROUGH YOU.
YOU WERE JUST LIKE A FLOWING RIVER.
LEIF: COME ON.
REBECCA: SO LET'S GET YOU THERE.
SO YOU'RE 18.
YOU GET SAVED.
WERE YOU IN NORWAY?
HOW DID YOU GET SAVED?
LEIF: I WAS IN NORWAY.
IT WAS KIND OF A LITTLE STRANGE.
I JOINED A CHRISTIAN THEATER COMPANY
CALLED COVENANT PLAYERS.
REBECCA: I LOVE THAT.
LEIF: SO I STUCK WITH HIM AND IT WAS ACTUALLY THROUGH A
PLAY ON FORGIVENESS THAT SOMEBODY PERFORMED.
AND WE WERE STUDYING THE PLAY ABOUT FORGIVENESS.
SOMETHING TOUCHED ME AND AT THAT MOMENT I REALIZED
THAT FORGIVING GOD, ACTUALLY,
I FORGAVE MY DAD, FORGAVE ALL THESE DIFFERENT PEOPLE
THAT HAD HURT AND WOUNDED ME.
AND SUDDENLY GOD DEALT WITH THE ROOT
ISSUE OF FORGIVENESS.
AND WHEN THAT HAPPENED, I RECEIVED JESUS FIRST OF
ALL, TO FORGIVE ME FOR ALL OF MY SIN
AND ALL THE THINGS I'VE DONE.
AND THEN I STARTED TO SEE HOW I'VE DISHONORED
MY MOM AND DAD.
AND I TOOK RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL OF THE THINGS I
DID BECAUSE OF THE PAIN.
SO THAT STARTED MY JOURNEY WITH JESUS,
THAT HE WAS SO GRACIOUS AND HOW HE FORGAVE ME
AND THEN I STARTED TO FORGIVE.
HE GAVE ME MERCY AND I STARTED TO GIVE MERCY.
AND THIS STARTED A JOURNEY WITH HIM.
BUT, BUT SO I RECEIVED JESUS IN GERMANY
AFTER ONE OF THOSE PLAYS.
AND THEN AFTER THAT, I WAS STILL TRAVELING WITH
A THEATER COMPANY, CAME TO AMERICA, AND AGAIN.
BUT AGAIN ON THE INSIDE, YOU'RE SERVING HIM.
YOU ARE NOW, AS THE SAYING,
IN THE NEXT MOMENT, I'M PERFORMING FOR LOVE
BECAUSE I STILL HAVE THIS THING ON THE INSIDE,
AFTER WHAT JESUS HAS DONE FOR ME.
AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS IN ITSELF.
BUT I'M GOING TO DO ANYTHING FOR HIM.
I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE MYSELF WHOLEHEARTED FOR HIM.
I'M GOING TO SERVE HIM, AND I'M GOING TO PLEASE HIM.
AND THEN WHEN YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING TO PLEASE HIM, NOT KNOWING YOU ARE
PLEASING TO HIM.
SO YOU'RE ALWAYS LIVING FROM A MEASURE
THAT YOU NEVER LIVE UP TO FULLNESS.
AND THAT WAY OF LIVING, THEN JUST CONTINUED TO BE.
YOU GO TO BED AND YOU ARE RESTLESS.
YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND THEN IN THE NEXT MOMENT,
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT,
I NEED TO DO THIS TO PLEASE HIM,
BECAUSE THEN THE FATHER IS GOING TO BE WELL PLEASED.
SO IF I BECOME LIKE JESUS,
SO AGAIN, HOLINESS, IF THAT WAS THE WORD,
ANYTHING THAT YOU COULD DO TO TRY TO BECOME LIKE HIM.
SO YOU'RE TRYING HARDER.
YOU'RE TRYING TO ACHIEVE WHAT YOU ONLY CAN RECEIVE.
SO YOU'RE SAVED BY GRACE,
BUT EVERYTHING AFTER THAT IT SUDDENLY BECOMES
PERFORMANCE-BASED, WORK-BASED.
AND IT'S WHAT I DO INSTEAD OF WHAT JESUS HAS DONE.
AND THIS LED TO A JOURNEY WHERE I, OH,
I'M CALLED NOW TO MINISTRY.
SO I WENT TO BIBLE COLLEGE WHILE I WAS A YOUTH PASTOR,
THEN BECAME A PASTOR AND DID A LITTLE
BIT OF BUSINESS.
BUT AGAIN, AND THEN MET MY WIFE AND AGAIN REALIZED,
I'M IN HERE WITH MY ORPHAN SPIRIT,
COMING IN WHEN I DON'T DO ENOUGH.
EVENTUALLY SHE DOESN'T DO ENOUGH.
NOBODY ELSE DOES ENOUGH BECAUSE EVERYONE DID,
THEN YOU HAVE TO PERFORM.
AND IF YOU DO NOT PERFORM
FOR LOVE, MEANING IF YOU DON'T LIVE UP
TO MY EXPECTATION, I GET DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE
THAT'S WHAT GOD DOES WITH ME.
REBECCA: SO THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS WITH AN ORPHAN SPIRIT.
IS THAT NOT ONLY DO YOU HOLD YOURSELF TO THIS
CRAZY STANDARD AND YOU'RE WANTING TO PERFORM,
BUT YOU LOOK AT EVERYONE AROUND YOU AND THEY CAN'T
FILL THAT VOID.
LEIF: VOID, YEAH.
REBECCA: SO THEY'RE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO YOU.
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: AND I MEAN, THE THING ABOUT MARRIAGE IS MARRIAGE
WILL SHOW ALL YOUR WEAK SPOTS,
ALL YOUR BLIND SPOTS, ALL THE BROKENNESS,
BECAUSE MARRIAGE MAKES YOU HOLY.
IF YOU ALLOW GOD TO DO THAT WITHIN YOU.
BUT I KNOW FOR ME, WHEN I GOT MARRIED, IT WAS LIKE,
WHOA, OH MY GOODNESS.
I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD ALL THESE ISSUES,
BUT THANK GOD FOR A LOVING SPOUSE
AND FOR THE MERCY AND GRACE.
AND, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO GET BETTER AND YOU
REALLY HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE GOD, HE WILL.
THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS TO DO.
SO DID YOU SEE PROBLEMS IN YOUR MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF
THE ORPHAN SPIRIT?
LEIF: YEAH, I THINK WHEN I'M --
ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M
LOOKING BACK AT THAT TIME PERIOD,
BECAUSE IN THE ORPHAN SPIRIT
IS SOMEBODY ELSE'S FAULT.
REBECCA: OH, NO.
SO AND THEN YOU CAN'T GET ANY BETTER
IF YOU DON'T TAKE OWNERSHIP.
LEIF: BECAUSE AGAIN,
AGAIN, WHERE YOU'RE PUTTING CERTAIN EXPECTATION.
MARILYN HICKEY,
I JUST WAS THINKING ABOUT HER.
I WAS DOING THIS TV
PROGRAM WITH HER IN DENVER.
AND BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU GUYS KNOW MARILYN.
REBECCA: I LOVE HER.
LEIF: AND SO HER AND SARAH, WE WERE SITTING TOGETHER,
AND THEN IN THE NEXT MOMENT SHE SAID, TELL ME
HOW IS IF YOU HAVE ORPHANS IN MARRIAGE?
SHE SAID, SO IF YOU HAVE -- WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE
IN MARRIAGE?
AND I SAID, IT'S LIKE HAVING TWO TICKS,
BUT NO DOG.
REBECCA: BECAUSE THEY JUST WANT TO
SUCK THE LIFE, THE LIGHT.
LEIF: SUCK THE LIFE, YEAH.
AND I JUST, I DIDN'T REALIZE I SAID IT.
AND I COULD SEE SHE WAS LIKE IN SHOCK.
HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT ON TELEVISION?
REBECCA: NO, I LOVE IT.
LEIF: IT JUST CAME OUT OF ME,
BUT IT IS THE TRUTH.
IT'S REALLY WHAT'S HAPPENING LIKE BECAUSE
IT'S EITHER YOU GIVE ME, TOUCH ME, BLESS ME.
YOU'RE HERE TO MEET MY NEEDS.
BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET IT FROM PAPA GOD AND I DON'T
HAVE WHOLENESS THERE, THEN I'M LOOKING WITH
EXPECTATION THAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS PLACED IN THERE
AND MEET MY NEEDS AND MY EXPECTATION.
AND WHEN THEY DON'T DO THAT,
THEN SUDDENLY SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THEM BECAUSE
AND THEN THAT SPIRAL GOES DOWNWARDS.
AND SO AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE HURT,
THEN HURT PEOPLE STARTS TO HURT PEOPLE.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: AND THEN WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS,
YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO BE BETTER.
SO IT'S LIKE IN THE NEXT MOMENT IT IS THE SAME THING.
AND NOW IF YOU ARE AN ORPHAN FATHER
IN THAT SENSE, THEN YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO FAIL.
SO I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE NOT GOING TO GO
THROUGH WITH THAT,
AND YOU DON'T REALIZE THAT IT'S FEAR-BASED.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: AND EVEN RAISING THEM IS FEAR,
SHAME OR GUILT-BASED THE WAY YOU DO IT.
SO THEY BETTER THEN BEHAVE.
AND PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME AND MY MINISTRY AND
EVERYTHING ELSE AND ALL OF THAT SILLINESS.
AND THEN SO IT WAS NOT REALLY --
AND THEN THE BIG STORY IS WHEN I MET THE HOLY SPIRIT,
IT'S KIND OF FUN.
I WAS A BAPTIST PASTOR IN NORWAY AT THE TIME, AND,
AND RANDY CLARK WAS COMING TO OUR LITTLE BAPTIST
CHURCH, ACTUALLY, NOT TO OUR BAPTIST CHURCH,
BUT HE WAS DOING IT IN A SMALL CHURCH,
A PASTOR'S MEETING,
AND THEN THERE WAS A BIG MEETING.
THIS IS AFTER TORONTO, A YEAR AFTER TORONTO,
AND THEN THE --
REBECCA: THE TORONTO REVIVAL.
LEIF: THE REVIVAL, YES.
REBECCA: FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW THAT ARE LISTENING.
LEIF: YEAH, SO THAT WAS IN '94.
THERE WAS AN OUTPOURING OF GOD'S SPIRIT.
AND NOW HERE A GROUP OF SALVATION ARMY, METHODIST,
BAPTISTS, LUTHERAN, DIFFERENT ONES OF US.
HE WAS JUST SHARING HIS TESTIMONY AND STORY.
BUT THE THING I LIKE ABOUT RANDY, HE'S AUTHENTIC,
VERY REAL AND VERY VULNERABLE.
SO YOU COME FROM HUMILITY.
SO I COULD RELATE TO THAT.
IF HE JUST TALKED ABOUT HIS SUCCESSES,
I PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RELATE BECAUSE I
HAD A LOT OF BROKENNESS.
SO WHEN HE SAID, WOULD YOU LIKE PRAYER?
AND WE STOOD IN A LINE THERE AND I KIND WAS NERVOUS
BECAUSE WE DIDN'T DO THAT IN MY BAPTIST CHURCH.
AND HE HELD OUT HIS HAND LIKE MORE, LORD, BLESS HIM.
AND WHEN HE HOLD OUT HIS HAND,
HE DIDN'T TOUCH THEM.
POWER OF GOD HIT,
AND THEY ENDED UP ON THE FLOOR.
AND I'M LIKE, WHAT IS HAPPENING?
THAT'S THE LUTHERAN PASTOR.
I KNOW HE WOULDN'T DO THAT.
OR HERE'S THE METHODIST OR HERE'S THE --
AND ONE AFTER THE OTHER ENDED UP ON THE FLOOR.
AND I'M GETTING MORE AND MORE TENSE BECAUSE HE'S
HEADING TOWARDS ME.
REBECCA: AND THAT CAN BE SCARY AT THE MOMENT.
LEIF: IT WAS A LITTLE BIT.
REBECCA: BECAUSE IT'S UNFAMILIAR.
LEIF: YEAH, AND THEN HE CAME TO ME.
YOU ARE A BULLDOZER.
I'M THINKING, NO, I'M A BAPTIST PASTOR.
I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT PROPHECY.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO GO INTO THE DARKEST PLACES IN
THE WORLD WHERE THE GOSPEL HAS NEVER BEEN BEFORE.
I MEAN, HE SAID, HE PRESENTED,
AND IT'S LIKE THE AMAZON JUNGLE WITH DARKNESS,
AND I'M LIKE A BULLDOZER.
AND HE DESCRIBED AND THE NEXT MOMENT I'M ON THE FLOOR.
FIRE, ELECTRICITY AND THE GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT.
WHEN I CAME UP FROM THAT FLOOR AFTER TWO HOURS OF
AN ENCOUNTER WITH A FIRE AND THE POWER OF GOD,
I CAME UP FROM THAT VERY PLACE.
AND AGAIN, SIGNS, WONDERS,
AND MIRACLES STARTED TO BREAK LOOSE.
SIX MONTHS AFTERWARDS,
I'M IN THE MIDDLE EAST, IN PAKISTAN,
AND WE STARTED TO SEE LAME PEOPLE WALKING,
BLIND PEOPLE SEEING ALL THESE MIRACLES HAPPENING.
REBECCA: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I GOT TO STOP YOU RIGHT THERE.
SO YOU, HE PRAYS FOR YOU.
YOU END UP ON THE FLOOR.
DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR FOR TWO HOURS?
LEI: WELL, AFTERWARDS, AFTER I LOOKED AT THE WATCH,
BUT IT WAS LIKE I WAS STILL FOR --
REBECCA: WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THAT MOMENT?
LEIF: WELL, THERE WAS DIFFERENT THINGS,
BUT IT WAS ELECTRICITY.
LIKE MY WHOLE BODY FELT LIKE SOMEBODY PLUGGED IN
AND I'M JUST SHAKING.
AND THEN IT WAS FIRE.
I WAS SWEATING, FIRE BURNING, I FELT.
I'M BURNING UP.
AND THEN IT WAS LIKE ELECTRICITY AGAIN
AND THEN FIRE.
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WITH MY GOOD BAPTIST MIND WHAT
WAS GOING ON.
I MEAN, I'M VERY HIGHLY INTELLECTUAL IN ALL OF
THE WAYS I'M RAISED TO, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
BEING BAPTIZED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT
AND FIRE EMERGED.
SO THE HOLY SPIRIT, I HAD HIM IN ME,
WHICH IS FOR MYSELF.
BUT THE SPIRIT UPON ME IS FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME.
SO YOU SHALL RECEIVE POWER WHEN THE HOLY SPIRIT
COMES UPON YOU.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY.
REBECCA: WAS YOUR WIFE WITH YOU THERE?
LEIF: YEAH, SHE WAS, BUT SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE STANDING OF ALL
THE ONES IN THE ROOM.
I MEAN, ALL OF US THERE IN THE MEETING.
AND SHE'S ALSO A GOOD SOUTHERN BAPTIST GIRL.
SO ANYWAY, SO WE -- SHE WAS ALSO IN THAT MEETING,
BUT SOMETHING STARTED TO SHIFT IN MY LIFE
THERE WITH POWER AND THAT STARTED SUCCESS IN
MINISTRY IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL.
REBECCA: WILL YOU DESCRIBE A LITTLE BIT OF
WHAT THAT WAS LIKE?
LEIF: YEAH, I MEAN, THE BEST WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT,
BECAUSE WHEN I LEFT THAT LITTLE TOWN AND CAME BACK
AGAIN WHERE I PASTOR, THERE WAS A GROUP OF
ALCOHOLICS, DRUG ADDICTS SITTING IN A PLACE THAT I
USED TO WALK BY AS A PASTOR,
AND I USED TO MAYBE GIVE HIM A LITTLE COIN OR
SOMETHING, JUST AS A HANDOUT.
BUT I WALKED BY THE ONE GUY AND IN THE NEXT MOMENT
THE PRESENCE OF GOD JUST HIT HIM.
AND HE HADN'T HAD HEROIN THAT MORNING.
AND SO HE WAS LAYING THERE SICK, SHAKING.
AND IN A MOMENT, AND HE DESCRIBED IT,
BUT HE AT THAT MOMENT, THE PRESENCE OF GOD JUST HIT HIM.
I JUST WALKED BY LIKE I NORMALLY WALK.
REBECCA: IT'S LIKE THAT STORY OF PETER WHERE HE WALKED BY.
LEIF: YEAH, AND AGAIN, FOR ME IT WAS LIKE WHAT JUST?
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE
LANGUAGE FOR IT
AS A GOOD BAPTIST.
REBECCA: NO.
LEIF: BUT IT'S LIKE THE PRESENCE OF GOD HIT HIM
AND HE DESCRIBED IT.
HE SAID, HE DESCRIBED IT AS THE BEST HEROIN HE'D EVER TRIED,
BUT I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S A GOOD TESTAMENT.
BUT PRETTY MUCH WHAT HE DESCRIBED WAS THIS PEACE,
AND I KNEW THAT'S JESUS.
SO HE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST ONES.
AND THEN WE HAD AN IRANIAN REFUGEE THAT HAD COME INTO
NORWAY AND HE GOT DELIVERED.
DEMONS CAME OUT JUST COMING AROUND THE PRESENCE.
REBECCA: HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
LEIF: I WAS LEARNING BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE A WHOLE LOT
OF PEOPLE.
I WAS JUST LEARNING THAT, OOPS,
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
AND THEN I STARTED --
AND THEN I HAD -- A FEW WEEKS LATER,
A GUY FROM YOUTH WITH A MISSION,
YOU ARE A BULLDOZER.
AND HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT RANDY,
YOU'RE GOING TO GO INTO THE DARKEST PLACES IN
THE WORLD WHERE THE GOSPEL HAS NEVER BEEN BEFORE.
YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE A WAY
AND A MILLION MUSLIMS ARE GOING TO COME TO JESUS
BECAUSE OF YOU.
REBECCA: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THOSE MOMENTS?
ARE YOU FREAKED OUT?
LEIF: IT IS FREAKED OUT BECAUSE AGAIN,
HERE I'M IN A TOWN OF 30,000 PEOPLE
AND YOU HAVE THESE NUMBER OF MILLION OR YOU HAVE.
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR MY MIND.
IT'S LIKE, I DON'T KNOW MUSLIMS, I DIDN'T --
REBECCA: YEAH, YOU'RE IN NORWAY.
LEIF: I'M IN NORWAY, IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
SO IT'S LIKE NOTHING MADE SENSE.
BUT THEN GOD STARTED TO SET UP THE DESTINY BECAUSE
BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD, HE KNEW ME.
AND I WAS PREDESTINED IN LOVE AND HE HAD A PURPOSE,
AND HE HAD A PLAN FOR MY LIFE.
BUT SIN HAD MADE ME FALL SHORT OF GLORY.
WHAT GOD WANTED TO DO WAS TO SEND JESUS TO RESTORE
ME BACK AGAIN TO GLORY, TO WHOLENESS, TO SHALOM,
THE VERY PLACE THAT HE HAD INTENDED
FROM THE BEGINNING.
SO I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS PART OF MY JOURNEY.
AND THIS WENT ON FOR A WHILE NOW
AS I STARTED TO TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD AND DOING
CRUSADES IN AFRICA, IN THE MIDDLE EAST,
AND DIFFERENT THINGS.
REBECCA: DID THE DOORS JUST OPEN?
LEIF: YEAH, IT WAS
A STRANGE INCIDENCE BECAUSE I HAD A --
BECAUSE OF THE WORD OVER MY LIFE,
I HAD THIS PAKISTANI FROM THE PERSECUTED CHURCH THAT
VISITED NORWAY SIX MONTHS LATER
AFTER THIS ENCOUNTER.
AND A FRIEND OF MINE SAID, HEY,
THERE'S THIS PAKISTANI, WOULD YOU LET HIM SPEAK IN
YOUR BAPTIST CHURCH?
AND NORMALLY, I WOULD HAVE SAID NO.
I MEAN, IF I DON'T KNOW HIS THEOLOGY OR,
BUT BECAUSE THE WORD OVER MY LIFE, OH,
PAKISTAN IS A DARK PLACE.
AND IF I HAVE A WORD,
THEN MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING,
AND I LET HIM SPEAK.
AND HE'S STILL MY COORDINATOR TODAY,
28 YEARS LATER.
REBECCA: WHAT?
THAT IS WILD.
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: SO GOD KIND OF ARRANGED AND SET SOMETHING UP.
LEIF: CONSTANTLY.
HE SET UP AND FIVE MONTHS LATER,
HE ORGANIZED THE FIRST MEETING.
AND THERE IS ONE THING I HAVE TO SHARE, REBECCA.
REBECCA: OKAY, SHARE IT.
LEIF: BECAUSE THIS WAS LATE AT ONE NIGHT AND THERE WAS
THIS WOMAN THAT OPENED UP THE BURQA AND WE HAD SEEN
QUADRIPLEGIC, BLIND EYES,
INCREDIBLE, THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE JUST
HAVE AN ENCOUNTER WITH JESUS.
THE FIRST MAJOR EVENT IN THE MIDDLE EAST THAT I DID.
BUT THIS NIGHT, ONE WOMAN OPENED UP HER BURQA,
AND SHE SAID, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS JESUS?
BECAUSE MY HUSBAND, HE DIED.
HE NEVER GOT TO KNOW ABOUT JESUS AND MY SON HE DIED.
HE NEVER GOT TO HEAR.
REBECCA: OH, NO.
LEIF: WHY DIDN'T YOU COME EARLIER?
WHY DIDN'T YOU COME EARLIER?
AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN DISTRACTED.
AND AT THAT DAY, I DEDICATED MY LIFE TO BE
ABLE TO PLACE MYSELF IN AN OFFERING PLATE.
AND I WILL LIVE FOR ONE PURPOSE,
MAKING SURE THAT EVERYONE IS GOING TO KNOW THIS
GOSPEL, THIS GOOD NEWS.
SO THAT STARTED MY DEDICATION OF BEING THE
BULLDOZER, GOING INTO THE DARKEST PLACES,
BUT IS THAT I KEEP A PICTURE OF THAT LADY IN THE --
IN MY OFFICE STILL TODAY.
I HAVE AN OLD PICTURE AND AN OLD VIDEO FROM THAT
TIME WHERE SAYING THAT'S, THAT'S WHAT I GIVE MY LIFE FOR.
BUT NOW THE ENEMY CAME IN, ENDED UP WITH AN INJURY.
FIRST A COMPRESSION FRACTURE IN MY NECK,
LATER ON A CAR ACCIDENT.
WE MOVED BACK AGAIN TO THE STATES.
SO I KNOW THIS IS JUST A COUPLE OF QUICK
HIGHLIGHTS, BUT THIS LED TO ME EVENTUALLY
NOW GOING ALL OVER THE WORLD,
BUILDING A MINISTRY, BEING PART OF A MEGACHURCH,
I DO, I HAVE, I BECOME.
SO IF I DO MORE, I HAVE MORE, I BECOME MORE.
SO IF WE HAD 20,000 PEOPLE, NEXT TIME 25,000,
WE GET SO MUCH, THEN WE -- THE ORPHAN.
AND WHEN I'M COMING HOME, MY WIFE GETS THE LEFTOVER.
I COULD BE IN THE MEETING AND THE DOVE COMES
AND A VISIT.
BUT YOU CAN ONLY HAVE VISITATION OF THE
PRESENCE, NOT HABITATION,
IF YOU'RE AN ORPHAN ON THE INSIDE.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE NOT AT REST,
THE HOLY SPIRIT DON'T FIND A RESTING PLACE TO REST.
YOU CAN ONLY HAVE VISITATION SO I HAD --
SO I LIVED IN DESPERATION.
OH, I NEED YOU, JESUS, AN ORPHAN
OFTEN LIVING THAT WAY.
AND THEN HE SHOWS UP JUST OUT OF HIS GOODNESS
AND GRACE AND THINGS HAPPEN.
BUT THEN IN THE NEXT MOMENT,
WHEN MONDAY COMES ALONG, AFTER THE WEEKEND IS OVER,
YOU FEEL BAD, AND THEN YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT WHAT
I NEED TO DO AGAIN TO HAVE TO BECOME,
BECAUSE THAT'S THE VALUE SYSTEM IN THE ORPHAN WORLD.
AND NOTHING HAD STILL DEALT WITH THAT.
SO THIS WAS KIND OF A JOURNEY THEN FROM '95 ALL
THE WAY TO DECEMBER OF 99, WHERE EVENTUALLY,
BECAUSE OF THE ACCIDENTS, SURGERY,
I WAS SITTING IN A WHEELCHAIR.
MY BABY GIRL CATHERINE WAS SITTING ON MY LAP IN
DISNEY WORLD, AND IT STARTED TO RAIN AND I'M
SITTING THERE WITH CATHERINE,
AND I REALIZED I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ANY LONGER.
MY BODY IS BROKEN,
EMOTIONALLY, I'M BROKEN.
FINANCIALLY, SPIRITUAL, EVERYTHING.
WE'VE JUST BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE BAPTIST CHURCH.
I HAVE A WIFE AND FOUR CHILDREN.
MY WIFE IS HURTING.
MY KIDS ARE HURTING.
OUR FRIENDS ARE HURTING.
I'M HURTING AND I DIDN'T REALIZE
I AM THE ROOT ISSUE.
IT'S KIND OF A JONAH.
YOU HAVE ALL THESE STORMS THERE ARE.
YOU DON'T REALIZE YOU ARE THE ONES THAT ARE STILL
OPERATING WITH THAT ORPHAN SPIRIT.
AND THEN THAT'S WHEN DENNIS JERNIGAN,
I WAS INVITED TO COME TO THIS MEETING IN MELBOURNE,
FLORIDA, AND ONE FROM TEXAS WHO I KNOW YOUR MOM
KNOWS, WAS PLAYING THE PIANO.
AND HE SAYS, LEIF, I HAVE A SONG FOR YOU AND
IT IS A DADDY SONG.
AND THAT STARTED THE TRANSFORMATION THAT WENT IN.
AND THAT'S THE DAY WHEN THE LIQUID LOVE WAS COMING
OVER ME IN FRONT OF A HUNDRED LEADERS.
SUDDENLY, IT WAS A WAVE OF LOVE.
REBECCA: OH, IT HAPPENED IN FRONT OF A HUNDRED PEOPLE.
LEIF: A HUNDRED PEOPLE, YEAH.
WE WERE IN A ROOM OF LEADERS.
REBECCA: OH, MY GOODNESS.
LEIF: JACK TAYLOR,
WHO'S MY SPIRITUAL FATHER.
IT WAS THE DAY HE ALSO BECAME MY SPIRITUAL FATHER.
REBECCA: WHY DOES THAT NAME SOUND SO FAMILIAR?
LEIF: BECAUSE HE'S KIND OF A LEGEND HERE IN TEXAS.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: SO HE IS LIKE A SPIRITUAL PAPA TO A LOT,
JACK TAYLOR.
AND HE WAS THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE SOUTHERN
BAPTIST CONVENTION AND, AND WITH JAMES ROBISON
BACK IN THE DAYS.
REBECCA: OKAY.
LEIF: SO HE HAS A LONG HISTORY AND BUT ALSO LIKE
A SPIRITUAL PAPA TO TORONTO AND A LOT OF
MOVEMENTS LIKE RANDY CLARK AND OTHER ONES, YEAH.
BUT THAT DAY AND I STILL GET TEARS ABOUT IT.
BUT DECEMBER OF '99, PAPA GOD IS ABOUT TO
RESCUE ME FROM ME.
I KNEW JESUS, I KNEW THE HOLY SPIRIT,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW PAPA GOD.
I KNEW GOD.
I COULD HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT THE FATHERHOOD
OF GOD, THE GOD THAT JESUS KNEW.
I JUST HAD A VIEW OF GOD THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE JESUS.
AND THAT DAY IT WAS PAPA THAT SPOKE.
AND IT WAS THESE WAVES AND WAVES OF LOVE.
I LAID ON THAT FLOOR AND IT TOOK ME BACK,
AND I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE BABY IN THE MOTHER'S WOMB.
I FOUND OUT LATER ON THE LANGUAGE,
BUT THESE WAVES OF THIS BABY EXPERIENCING THIS
LOVE AND I WAS SO OVERWHELMED, I JUST WEPT.
AND THEN THE 12-YEAR-OLD BOY, IT WAS LIKE A MOVIE.
I'M LAYING ON THE FLOOR JUST WEEPING AS A CHILD.
EVEN ONE OF THE LEADERS SAID,
I'VE NEVER SEEN A MAN SNOT AND CRY THAT MUCH.
AND BEFORE THAT, EVEN WITH MY PAIN, I DIDN'T CRY.
I DIDN'T SHOW EMOTION.
I'M A COLD NORWEGIAN VIKING THAT IS MORE STOIC
IN PERSONALITY.
BUT NOW THE WAVES WAS COMING OVER ME.
AND EVENTUALLY THERE WAS AN AUDIBLE VOICE FROM
HEAVEN THAT SAYS, LEIF, YOU ARE MINE AND YOU'RE MY BELOVED.
YOU'RE MY BELOVED SON.
SOMETHING -- HIS SON, AND I LOVE YOU, SON.
I'M PROUD OF YOU SON.
I'M SO WELL PLEASED WITH YOU.
BUT IT WAS THE WORD PLEASURE.
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
GOD IS PLEASED WITH ME.
HOW COULD HE BE HERE IN MY DYSFUNCTION?
HERE IN MY WORST MOMENT, HERE IN A MOMENT WHEN
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
AND HE'S ALREADY WELL PLEASED WITH ME AND THESE
WAVES OF LOVE WERE JUST COMING.
AND I CAME UP FROM THAT PLACE.
I'M A SON.
MY PAPA LOVES ME.
HE LIKES ME.
HE DELIGHTS IN ME.
AND THERE WERE ALL THESE ASSIGNMENTS THAT I NEEDED TO DO.
HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO THE MIDDLE EAST.
I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ANY LONGER.
PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE CRAZY.
I GET TO DO IT, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO.
I WAS FREE.
WHOM THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED.
WHERE THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS,
THERE IS LIBERTY.
SO AT THAT MOMENT, SOMETHING STARTED TO CHANGE.
IT WAS A PROCESS.
I BECAME A SON, AND I LEARNED ALL I NEED TO DO
IS WHAT I SEE MY FATHER DO,
I SAY WHAT I HEAR MY FATHER SAY.
AND THEN I STARTED TO WRITE ABOUT THE BAPTISM OF LOVE,
BECAUSE THAT WAS MY EXPERIENCE.
AND I REALIZED THAT JESUS, BEFORE HE DID ANYTHING.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: IT WAS NOT JUST HE WAS BAPTIZED IN WATER.
IT WAS NOT JUST THAT HE WAS BAPTIZED IN THE SPIRIT
THAT THE DOVE CAME DOWN WHEN THE HEAVEN OPENED UP.
BUT IT WAS ONE MORE THING THAT WAS THE SECRET
OF THE WHOLE LIFE OF JESUS.
THE HEAVENLY FATHER COMES IN AND SAYS,
THIS IS MY BELOVED SON, WHOM I LOVE AND
WHOM I AM WELL PLEASED.
BEFORE JESUS HEALED ANY SICK,
BEFORE HE DID ANY MIRACLE, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE
FROM PRESSURE WHEN YOU CAN LIVE
FROM YOUR FATHER'S PLEASURE?
AND THAT STARTED A HEALING JOURNEY.
AND THEN HE WAS LED INTO THE WILDERNESS
TO BE TESTED.
AND THE TEST IS IF YOU ARE A SON,
IF YOU'RE A DAUGHTER REBECCA,
YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
AND HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE LISTENING TO YOUR PODCAST?
SO NEXT TIME YOU BETTER DO --
AND THIS WHOLE THING OF
THE SUBTLETY, BECAUSE IT GOES BACK TO LUCIFER
WHO WAS THE FIRST ORPHAN.
WHEN HE LEFT HEAVEN,
HE NO LONGER HAD A HOME.
AND ONE-THIRD OF FALLEN ANGELS THAT WE CALL
DEMONS TODAY, THEY ALL OPERATE
WITH AN ORPHAN SPIRIT.
AND THE DEMONIC THING OF THE RESTLESSNESS
IS COMING INTO THE GARDEN TO A SERPENT AND SAY, HEY,
IF YOU EAT FROM THIS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE GOD.
DON'T YOU WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS?
DO SOMETHING.
THEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING.
YOU BECOME SOMETHING.
IF YOU EAT FROM THIS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LIKE HIM,
IF YOU DO SOMETHING.
BUT NOW, LATER ON, WHEN JESUS IS BEING TESTED,
HEY, IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD,
TURN THIS ROCK INTO BREAD.
IF YOU ARE A SON, WHAT IS THE THREE QUESTIONS?
QUESTION HIS IDENTITY,
QUESTION HIS INTIMACY,
QUESTIONING.
BUT JESUS DOESN'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING.
HE ALREADY HAD THE APPROVAL OF HIS FATHER.
HE ALREADY HAD AN A-PLUS BEFORE HE DID ANYTHING,
AND HE WAS NOT LIKE ADAM AND EVE.
THE SECOND ADAM CAME IN, HE RESTORES BACK AGAIN TO
THE ORIGINAL INTENTION WHAT PAPA GOD HAD FOR EACH
ONE OF US SO THAT WE NO LONGER WAS LIVING FROM
MEASURE, BUT COULD LIVE FROM FULLNESS.
SO ON THE CROSS, JESUS BECAME SIN WITH OUR
SINFULNESS SO WE COULD BECOME RIGHTEOUS
WITH HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS.
HE TOOK OUR SHAME SO WE WOULD BE GLORIFIED.
HE TOOK OUR SICKNESS AND DISEASE,
AND BY HIS STRIPES WE'RE HEALED.
THERE'S ALL THESE SEVEN DIVINE EXCHANGES
ON THE CROSS.
BUT ON THE TOP OF IT,
FOR A MOMENT HE ALWAYS CALLED HIM PAPA, PAPA, FATHER.
UNTIL THIS MOMENT HE SAYS
ELOI, ELOI, LEMA SABACHTHANI.
HE SAID, MY GOD, MY GOD, MY GOD,
WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?
WHY?
FOR A MOMENT HE BECAME AN ORPHAN,
SO THAT WE COULD BECOME SONS AND DAUGHTERS.
REBECCA: THE DIVINE EXCHANGE.
LEIF: THE DIVINE EXCHANGE.
FOR A MOMENT HE WAS SEPARATED FROM PERFECT LOVE,
SO WE COULD BE RESTORED BACK AGAIN.
THE WHOLE THING ABOUT THE CROSS WAS A LOVING FATHER,
NOT MAD AT HIS SONS AND DAUGHTERS FOR MESSING UP,
BUT HE WAS MAD AT WHAT SIN HAD DONE,
THAT IT MADE US FALL SHORT OF GLORY.
AND HE SENT JESUS TO RESTORE US BACK TO THAT
GLORY AND TO HEAL AND TO SAVE THAT WHICH WAS LOST,
LUKE 19:10.
IT DIDN'T SAY JESUS JUST CAME TO SAVE THOSE THAT
WAS LOST, BUT THAT WHICH WAS LOST.
SO WHAT IS LOST
IN LEIF HETLAND'S LIFE?
THAT THE ENEMY CAME,
THE INNOCENCE, THE CHILDLIKENESS, SHAME CAME IN,
FEAR CAME IN.
WHAT IS THE ENEMY USING AS A WEAPON?
TRYING TO BLACKMAIL ME AND THEN YOU TRY TO FIND
DIFFERENT WAYS OF MEDICATING AND THAT WAS
KIND OF A PART OF MY JOURNEY.
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING TODAY IS NOW.
I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW GOOD PAPA GOD IS.
I WANT EVERYONE TO EXPERIENCE A GOD
THAT LOOKS LIKE JESUS.
EVERY MUSLIM, EVERY HINDU, EVERY BUDDHIST,
EVERY REPUBLICAN, EVERY DEMOCRAT.
REBECCA: AND I FEEL LIKE IF YOU HAVE THAT,
THE ANOINTING THAT YOU'RE WALKING WITH THAT,
HAVING THIS REVELATION AND BEING
MOTIVATED BY LOVE, WHICH IS WHAT IT TALKS ABOUT IN
2 CORINTHIANS 5, IT SAYS IT WAS THE LOVE OF
CHRIST THAT COMPELLED THEM TO PEOPLE TO --
SAYING BE RECONCILED WITH GOD.
THAT WAS HOW THEY WERE SPEAKING THE GOSPEL MESSAGE.
THEY WERE COMPELLED BY THE LOVE OF GOD
FOR LOST HUMANITY.
BUT WHAT'S SO INTERESTING IS THAT
WHAT YOU'RE OPERATING IN,
JUST BREAKS THROUGH ALL THINGS,
ALL BARRIERS, ALL RESTRICTIONS.
AND SO GOD HAS BEEN ABLE TO USE YOU TO SHARE THAT
LOVE, AND YOU'VE BROKEN THROUGH THESE VERY
DIFFICULT AND DARK PLACES WITH THE LOVE OF GOD.
AND YOU'VE HAD BREAKTHROUGH, BECAUSE WHEN
YOU'RE OPERATING IN THAT LOVE,
IT'S LIKE NOTHING CAN STOP THE LOVE OF GOD
AND LOVE NEVER FAILS.
SO LOVE IS AS POWERFUL AS THE BIBLE SAYS IT IS.
BUT I JUST THINK NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE ARE REALLY
WALKING IN IT.
WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE, INCLUDING PEOPLE IN
MINISTRY, NOT OPERATING?
THEY DON'T HAVE THIS UNDERSTANDING OF THE
FATHER, GOD'S LOVE AND I SEE THAT RESTLESSNESS,
THAT PERFORMANCE.
AND THIS IS THE THING, LEIF, I --
PEOPLE PREACH THIS A LOT,
BUT THE THING IS, IS THAT AND I EVEN
EXPERIENCED THIS MYSELF.
IT'S LIKE I HEARD THIS AND I KNEW IT KIND OF LIKE YOU
SAID, I KNEW GOD THE FATHER.
BUT KNOWING IT IN YOUR MIND IS NOT THE SAME AS
KNOWING IT IN YOUR SOUL.
SO WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE NOT LIVING OUT OF THE
REVELATION OF SONSHIP?
LEIF: I THINK THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT
WHEN THERE IS AN ORPHAN HEART AND YOU CANNOT CAST
OUT AN ORPHAN HEART, I CAN CAST OUT AN ORPHAN SPIRIT.
BUT AN ORPHAN SPIRIT CAN ONLY OPERATE WHERE THE HEART IS.
SO WHEN THERE'S AN ORPHAN HEART AS A
TENDENCY, NOT THE SPIRIT OF SONSHIP OR DAUGHTERSHIP,
THAT SAYS ABBA FATHER.
SO WHEN THERE IS UNHEALED HEART OF SOME OF THOSE AREAS.
AND AS I SAID, I CAN'T GO BACK IN OUR PAST.
BUT IT CAN ALSO HAPPEN AFTERWARDS WHERE I MEET
PEOPLE LIKE IN MINISTRY,
BECAUSE WE'RE COMING INTO
A SYSTEM WHERE, OKAY, I GET A PLATFORM BASED UPON
EITHER THE BOOKS YOU'VE WRITTEN OR THE SIGNS,
WONDERS, AND MIRACLES.
SO THE WHOLE WORLD IS BASED UPON
THAT'S WHAT SELLS.
SO WE WANT A STORY.
SO EVEN SOME OF THE STORIES ABOUT MY LIFE,
OFTEN PEOPLE COME AND THE REASON THEY WANT ME TO
SPEAK IN A SETTING IS BECAUSE WE SAW 80,000 PEOPLE
IN A STADIUM, OR 30,000 PEOPLE HEAL.
SO SOMETIMES I SHOW SOME OF THE VIDEO JUST FOR THEM,
BECAUSE I KNOW IN THE VALUE SYSTEM
THAT'S AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT IN ITSELF.
BUT AUTOMATICALLY, I GET TO GO BACK TO FOCUS HERE,
BUT THAT'S NOT WHO I AM.
LET ME TALK ABOUT --
LET'S TALK ABOUT IDENTITY.
LET'S TALK ABOUT INTIMACY.
THIS ALWAYS BECOMES MY CONVERSATION BECAUSE I
WANT TO TAKE IT AWAY.
BUT THIS GETS THE ATTENTION IN THIS WORLD.
BECAUSE WE HAVE A VALUE SYSTEM, BECAUSE LUCIFER --
REBECCA: THAT IS HOW OUR WORLD --
LEIF: THIS IS OUR WORLD.
THIS IS THE WORLD SYSTEM.
REBECCA: SO LUCIFER?
LEIF: YEAH, SO YOU HAVE BABEL.
IF YOU REMEMBER IN GENESIS 11,
LET US BUILD A NAME FOR OURSELF.
LET'S BUILD SOMETHING GREAT,
BUILD WORLDWIDE MINISTRY, BIGGER CHURCH AND WHEN
WE'RE COMING TOGETHER, WELL,
HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE OR WHAT?
HOW MANY SEERS OR HOW MANY?
SO THE WHOLE BABEL SYSTEM, WE'RE GOING TO SEE HOW WE
GOING TO BUILD THIS GREAT THING FOR GOD.
THAT WAS THE WHOLE BABEL SYSTEM
THAT GOD EVENTUALLY HAD TO SHATTER.
SO THAT'S ONE ELEMENT.
THE OTHER ELEMENT I THINK IS IMPORTANT.
REMEMBER, IT TOOK ABOUT 1517 YEARS BEFORE GRACE
WAS BEING RESTORED, JUSTIFICATION BY FAITH.
FOR BY GRACE AND FAITH ALONE,
WHICH WAS MARTIN LUTHER.
IT WAS A REFORMATION THAT TOOK PLACE.
LATER ON,
AND JESUS HAS ALWAYS BEEN AROUND,
BUT JESUS WAS BEING RESTORED BEFORE YOU HAD TO
GO TO A PRIEST.
SO IT TOOK 1517 YEARS FOR THAT REFORMATION.
TODAY, IT'S NORMAL THAT PEOPLE ARE
GETTING SAVED BY GRACE,
BUT THAT WAS NOT FOR OVER 1500 YEARS.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: THE SAME ALSO WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT THAT YOU HAVE
PEOPLE THAT HAVE THE FIRST REFORMATION,
BUT NOT THE SECOND.
1906, THE BIRTHING OF THE SPIRIT
IN AZUSA STREET.
AND, WOW, IT IS VERY POWERFUL.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THEY DID, IT TOOK A LONG TIME.
THE SPIRIT HAS ALWAYS BEEN AROUND FROM THE BEGINNING
WITH THE FATHER, SON, SPIRIT,
LET US MAKE MAN IN OUR IMAGE.
SO THERE WAS A FAMILY.
IT WAS A FAMILY IN HEAVEN THAT STARTED IT ALL.
AND LUCIFER IS THE VERY ONE THAT WANTS US TO
OPERATE LIKE AN ORPHANAGE, A BUSINESS
AS AN ORPHANAGE, A MINISTRY, OR A CHURCH WHERE
ORPHANS ARE COMING TOGETHER TO SEE WHAT
THEY CAN GET.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: AND GIVE ME, TOUCH ME.
BLESS ME, FILL ME, ME, ME, ME.
AND IF NOT, WE GET DIVORCED AND WE START
ANOTHER ORPHANAGE THAT ARE AGREEING WITH ME.
BECAUSE SELF IS IN THE CENTER OF THAT ORPHAN
SPIRIT AND THE ORPHAN HEART.
SO BUT HERE'S WHERE I'M ABOUT TO HEAD IS THAT,
BUT WE ARE RIGHT IN THE VERGE
OF ANOTHER REFORMATION.
SO THE FIRST ONE, RESTORE JESUS,
THE SECOND ONE, THE HOLY SPIRIT.
THIS ONE IS RESTORING THE FATHER.
AND THAT'S WHAT'S GOING TO STOP THE CURSE
THAT IS IN THE LAND.
SO THE LAST WORD IN THE OLD TESTAMENT IS CURSE.
AND IT'S WHEN HE'S GOING TO TURN THE FATHER'S
HEARTS TOWARD THE CHILDREN,
CHILDREN'S HEARTS TOWARDS THE FATHER,
LEST I SMITE THE EARTH WITH A CURSE.
THEN YOU'RE MOVING IN
AFTER 400 YEARS OF SILENCE AND JESUS COMING IN.
THIS IS THE GENEALOGY OF JESUS, THE SON OF ABRAHAM,
THE SON OF DAVID.
HERE YOU SEE BOTH THE LAMB AND THE LION OF JESUS.
AND THEN YOU TRACE JESUS UNTIL EVENTUALLY THE
FATHER GIVES HIM THAT AFFIRMATION.
IT GETS TESTED.
HE COMES OUT OF THAT.
WHO DO YOU SAY THAT I AM?
AND IT STARTS WITH THIS WHOLE THING,
BECAUSE WHO JESUS IS TO US IS WHO HE WILL BE THROUGH US
AND SO THIS WHOLE JOURNEY.
SO THE SEASON ALSO WE'RE LIVING IN,
YOU ARE GOING TO SEE MORE AND MORE.
I WAS NOT AWARE OF IT.
MOST PEOPLE THAT I MINISTER TO,
AND I'M TALKING ABOUT A LOT OF THEM
THAT HAVE BEEN
BAPTIZED IN WATER, AND A LOT OF US AT LEAST
CHARISMATIC, PENTECOSTAL, WORD OF FAITH,
BEEN BAPTIZED IN THE SPIRIT.
THEY NEVER HEARD OF THE BAPTISM OF LOVE.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD BE FREE
FROM BEING AN ORPHAN.
WELL, THAT'S ALL WE KNEW.
LIKE A FRIEND OF MINE WHO BUILT A MEGACHURCH AND HE
SAID, I NEVER KNEW ABOUT THIS.
BUILT A MEGACHURCH, FULL OF THE SPIRIT,
BUT 3000 ORPHANS.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: COMING TOGETHER, SELF IS IN THE CENTER,
WORSHIP AND SELF IS IN THE CENTER,
THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
IT IS BUILDING A BABEL.
AND SO THIS PAINFUL THING,
SO GOD IS NOW AND THE REASON WE SEE IT IS JESUS'
ONLY UNANSWERED PRAYER.
AND YOU AND I CAN BECOME AN ANSWER TO
HIS ONLY UNANSWERED PRAYER.
AND THAT'S IN JOHN 17, THAT THE VERY LOVE,
FATHER, THAT YOU HAVE, THE VERY GLORY,
THE VERY ONENESS.
THREE TIMES IT SAYS THAT THE WORLD MAY BELIEVE.
HOW IS THE WORLD GOING TO BELIEVE?
THIS LOVE THAT THE
FATHER HAS TOWARDS THE SON,
THAT LOVE WILL BE IN US, EXPERIENCING THAT LOVE,
THE GLORY, THAT ONENESS WITH THE FATHER.
AND THEN EVENTUALLY, YOU START TO
SEE IN REVELATION, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?
THERE IS A FAMILY
REPRESENTED FROM EVERY NATION, TONGUE,
TRIBE AND LANGUAGE.
EVERYTHING THAT GOD STARTED,
HE ENDS IN THE BOOK OF ENDING BECAUSE
HE SAW A FAMILY.
SO EVEN NOW WE HEAR PROPHECY ABOUT THE ONE
BILLION SOUL HARVEST.
BUT GOD DOESN'T WANT A BILLION ORPHANS.
HE WANTS A BILLION SONS AND DAUGHTERS.
SO WHAT IS HE DOING?
HE'S RESTORING THE FAMILY ON EARTH THAT LOOKS LIKE
THE FAMILY IN HEAVEN.
WHY IS THE ENEMY ATTACKING FAMILY?
BECAUSE OF THIS VERY THING.
WHY IS THE ENEMY TRYING TO STEAL THE IDENTITY?
IF YOU'RE GOING INTO ALL THE ISSUES THAT YOUNG
PEOPLE ARE STRUGGLING WITH,
IDENTITY, FOR THIS VERY REASON.
BECAUSE HE'S SO NERVOUS, BECAUSE WE'RE LIVING IN A
TIME THAT WE ARE THE ONLY GENERATION,
THE AGAPE REFORMATION, THE FIRST WAS GRACE,
SECOND POWER.
THIS ONE IS LOVE.
AGAPE REFORMATION IS ABOUT TO BE BIRTHED,
AND THE WORLD IS GOING TO SEE WHO HE IS.
AND AS A RESULT OF THAT, IT'S GOING TO BREAK
THE CURSE THAT IS IN THE LAND.
AND IT'S GOING TO USHER IN THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS.
THAT'S THE WHOLE CONFLICT FOR WHAT'S GOING
ON IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
SO THAT'S THE ISSUE THAT WHAT WE'RE SEEING
WHAT'S GOING ON IN ISRAEL, WITH AN ORPHAN SPIRIT,
AND THIS WHOLE THING THAT'S TAKING PLACE.
BUT HERE WE HAVE CHURCHES STAND THE
WAY WE ARE RESPONDING.
WE ARE COMING WITH AN ORPHAN SPIRIT
TRYING TO DEAL WITH ISHMAEL.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: AND THE CRY OF ISHMAEL WITH AN ORPHAN SPIRIT.
WHEN WE DO NOT KNOW THAT CREATION IS MOURNING OR
GROANING FOR THE MANIFESTATION OF THE SONS
AND DAUGHTERS TO BE REVEALED.
SO THERE'S A WAR GOING ON RIGHT NOW,
AND I CALL IT A WAR WORLD THREE IN A SENSE,
BECAUSE IT IS.
AND IT'S ALSO A WAR AGAINST US GETTING OUR
IDENTITY AND GETTING PAPA GOD TO BE OUR FATHER.
THAT WAS THE KEY FOR JESUS' LIFE IS TO BE FATHER
AND TO BE FATHER, BECAUSE JESUS,
HE LIVED AS A SON IN THE NATURAL
LATER ON IN THE SPIRITUAL.
AND THAT'S ALSO WHAT HE --
I'M GOING TO THE FATHER SENDING YOU THE SPIRIT OF
ADOPTION SO THAT YOU CAN SAY, ABBA, FATHER,
AND COMING INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP.
SO THE ENEMY IS JUST SO NERVOUS.
THAT'S ALL THE ATTACK YOU'RE SEEING GOING
ON IN SOCIETY.
AND THEN WE'RE COMING,
OH, WE NEED TO PRAY AGAINST THIS SPIRIT OF EVIL,
THIS SPIRIT, OR DECLARE, NOT RECOGNIZING
THE ROOT ISSUE HERE IS WE CAN COME AS ORPHANS AND
DECLARE AND BEG AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
BUT THE BIBLE SAYS, IT IS MY PAPA, YOUR PAPA.
IT IS OUR FATHER.
WE HONOR HIS NAME.
THEN WE CAN SEE HIS KINGDOM COME AND HIS WILL
BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
AND TO PRAY THAT PRAYER WHEN YOU'RE AN ORPHAN ON
THE INSIDE, IT DOESN'T HAVE A KINGDOM IMPACT
AND WE DON'T SEE HEAVEN ON EARTH,
THEN WE ARE FOCUSING JUST TO GET PEOPLE OUT OF HERE
INSTEAD OF BRINGING JESUS INTO HERE.
AND THEN WE WOULD MEASURE HOW DARK IS IN THE WORLD,
INSTEAD OF TURNING ON THE LIGHT AND REALIZING THAT
THE LOVE IN YOU IS GREATER THAN THE FEAR OR THE
DARKNESS THAT IS IN THE WORLD.
SO THIS IS PART OF THE WARFARE.
THE ENEMY IS SO NERVOUS BECAUSE HE SEES VERY
CLEARLY THAT WHAT GOD STARTED IN THE BEGINNING
AS A FAMILY, HE WILL END.
AND THE ULTIMATE ORPHAN MAKER,
THE BIGGEST STRATEGY, INCLUDING A LOT OF LEADERS
THAT IS FALLING AND THESE THINGS, THE BUILDING
THESE BABEL EMPIRES ON THE TOP WITH AN ORPHAN SPIRIT
IS JUST LOOKING.
CAN YOU SEE ME?
LOOK, FACEBOOK.
CAN YOU NOTICE ME, ME, ME, ME.
AND I DON'T LIKE HIM.
I'M AGAINST HIM
AND THE WHOLE DIVISION.
ORPHANS ARE CONSTANTLY DISPLAYING AND
YOU SEE IT EVERYWHERE.
REBECCA: YOU SEE IT EVERYWHERE.
LEIF: IT'S EVERYWHERE.
REBECCA: IT'S, IT'S CRAZY.
LIKE WE'RE --
THAT'S CAUSING SO MANY PROBLEMS.
I MEAN, IT'S A PROBLEM IN THE WORLD,
BUT IT'S SUCH A HUGE PROBLEM,
ESPECIALLY IN THE CHURCH IN AMERICA IS WHAT I'M
THINKING ABOUT IS WE'RE MAKING IT ALL ABOUT
OURSELVES, AND WE'RE FIGHTING EACH OTHER
BECAUSE OF OUR EGOS AND ALL THIS KIND OF STUFF.
BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHOSE WE ARE AND SO IT
CAUSES ALL THIS UNNECESSARY FIGHTING.
AND SO I THINK YOU'RE IN I,
I THINK YOUR INPUT IS SO HELPFUL.
AND WHAT I'M SITTING HERE THINKING IS FOR PEOPLE WHO
ARE LISTENING, WHO ARE SAYING, I WANT YOU TO,
I WANT YOU TO IDENTIFY WHAT AN ORPHAN SPIRIT OR
WHAT AN ORPHAN HEART LOOKS LIKE.
AND THEN I WANT US TO PRAY FOR PEOPLE BECAUSE I KNOW
THERE'S PEOPLE WHO ARE LISTENING TO THIS WHO ARE
HAVING THAT URGENCY WITHIN THEM.
THEY'RE LIKE, I WANT TO HAVE AN EXPERIENCE LIKE
YOU HAD, LEIF, WHERE THEY GOT TO,
YOU GOT TO EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF THE FATHER THAT
SET YOU FREE FROM AN ORPHAN SPIRIT.
SO FIRST, IDENTIFY JUST SOME BULLET POINTS OF WHAT
AN ORPHAN SPIRIT OR AN ORPHAN HEART LOOKS LIKE.
AND THEN LET'S PRAY FOR PEOPLE TO JUST HAVE
AN ENCOUNTER WITH THE FATHER RIGHT HERE AND NOW.
LEIF: COME ON.
NOW, FIRST OF ALL, I THINK THAT YOU WILL FIND,
THE PRIMARY THING WITH AN ORPHAN HEART.
AND THEN OFTEN, THEN AN ORPHAN SPIRIT THAT IS
ATTACHED TO THAT IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A HOME.
WHAT DO I MEAN BY THAT?
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU'RE HOMELESS,
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A BIG HOUSE,
BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE A PLACE OF WHERE YOU CAN
COME UP AND CLIMB UP ON PAPA GOD'S LAP.
YOU DON'T HAVE A PLACE OF INTIMACY
YOU CAN HAVE WITH HIM.
YOU MAY BE RUNNING TO JESUS,
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A HOME.
YOU HAVE NOT COME HOME TO A PLACE.
SO THERE'S FOUR BASIC THINGS,
YOU DON'T HAVE THAT SECURITY.
YOU DO NOT FEEL TOTAL SECURE IN YOUR FATHER'S LOVE.
YOU CAN MAYBE HAVE A LOT OF PIZZAS,
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT PAPA GOD OWNS THE BAKERY.
SO YOU'RE ALWAYS LIVING FROM MEASURE.
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE.
SO THERE'S AN INSECURITY AS A RESULT OF THAT.
SO THE LACK OF SECURITY.
SECOND OF ALL, THERE'S LOVE DEFICIENCY.
YOU'RE STILL LOOKING FOR LOVE
AND OFTEN LOOKING FOR LOVE IN THE WRONG PLACES.
REBECCA: YEAH.
AND IT'S NEVER ENOUGH.
LEIF: IT'S NEVER ENOUGH.
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT BEING FULLY LOVED BY THE
FATHER, AND IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT THAT REPORT CARD
AND SEE YOU THE WAY HE SEES YOU,
THEN YOU'RE LOOKING, HEY, CAN ANYBODY ELSE SEE
HOW GREAT I AM?
CAN ANYBODY ELSE NOTICE ME?
CAN YOU AFFIRM ME?
CAN YOU?
BECAUSE THE LOVE DEFICIENCY
AND THEN THE ORPHAN SPIRIT.
THE OTHER THING I SEE EASILY IN MINISTRY
WITH THE ORPHAN SPIRIT,
HOW THEY COMPETE WITH ONE ANOTHER.
BUT SONS AND DAUGHTERS ALWAYS COMPLETE ONE ANOTHER.
SO IF YOU, REBECCA, GET BLESSED,
I GET BLESSED BECAUSE WE ARE FAMILY.
AND WHEN THE STOCK GOES UP TO ONE,
IT SHOULD GO UP TO ALL OF US BECAUSE
WE'RE A FAMILY BUSINESS,
IF YOU'RE SONS AND DAUGHTERS.
WHY DID HE GET HEALED AND NOT ME?
OR WHY DID GOD BLESS THAT PERSON
AND NOT ME?
AND YOU FIND ALL OF THOSE DIFFERENT THINGS,
TYPICALLY THE ORPHAN SPIRIT,
BECAUSE THEY ARE LOOKING AND THEY DON'T BELIEVE
THAT THE FATHER IS GOING TO BE
THE PROTECTOR AND PROVIDERS.
YOU NEED TO PROTECT AND PROVIDE AND DO
ALL OF THAT.
SO SECURITY, LOVE, AND THEN VALUE.
THERE'S A VALUE DEFICIENCY.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: AND WHEN YOU FEEL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE HARD FOR
ME TO ADD VALUE TO YOU, OUR COMING IN HERE.
HEY, WHAT CAN I GET AND HOW CAN THIS PROMOTE
WHAT I DO?
AND SO THE ORPHAN WILL HAVE A HOOK,
A LOVE WITH A HOOK.
THEY WILL MAYBE LEARN HOW TO LOVE,
BUT THEY HAVE A HOOK, INCLUDING LOVING PEOPLE.
SO YOU'RE JUST NOT,
NOT A GOOD SALESPERSON
AND LEARNED HOW TO LOVE THEM AS A TOOL IN YOUR
TOOL BELT, BUT YOU HAVE NOT REALLY BECOME LOVE,
AND THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN WHEN YOU SUDDENLY HAVE
RECEIVED THIS LOVE FROM THE FATHER.
AND YOU CAN LOVE YOU, THE WAY THAT HE LOVES YOU.
THEN YOU LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, YOUR SPOUSE,
YOUR FRIEND AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
BUT IT STARTS BY RECEIVING IT.
THEN WE CAN BECOME IT, THEN WE CAN GIVE IT.
THEN YOU HAVE TOTAL SECURITY.
I'M TOTALLY SECURE.
I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING.
WHEN THE ENEMY COMES AND HE TRIES TO OFFER ME
THE WHOLE WORLD WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO.
I DON'T NEED ANYTHING.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT IN ITSELF.
BUT I DON'T NEED ANY OF THAT.
I HAVE EVERYTHING THAT I NEED FROM MY FATHER.
HE IS MY PROVIDER.
HE IS MY PROTECTOR.
WHEN I'M LOOKING INTO HIS FACE,
AND I GET TO SEE WHO
HE IS, I GET TO SEE WHO I AM.
WHEN I'M HEARING HIS VOICE AND MY LITTLE VOICE OF MY
FATHER, HE SAYS, I LOVE YOU AND I'M
WELL PLEASED WITH YOU.
I'M NOT LOOKING FOR PLEASURE ANYWHERE ELSE.
SO THOSE BASIC THINGS, SECURITY,
LOVE, AND VALUE AND THEN PURPOSE AND AFFIRMATION.
I'M GETTING THAT FROM OUR FATHER.
AND THEN BASED UPON THAT NOW,
THE WAY THAT I STARTED TO OPERATE
IN MY RELATIONSHIP, IN ALL OF THOSE
RELATIONSHIPS STARTS TO CHANGE.
I'M A SON, BELOVED SON.
YOU CAN HAVE LEADERSHIP, APOSTLESHIP, STEWARDSHIP,
FRIENDSHIP, ALL THE OTHER SHIP.
BUT LET IT FOLLOW THAT LITTLE SHIP CALLED SONSHIP
OR DAUGHTERSHIP BECAUSE THAT'S WHO YOU ARE,
THEN THERE'S REST.
AND WHEN YOU ARE AT REST, THE HOLY SPIRIT ALWAYS
FINDS A RESTING PLACE AND THE SUPERNATURAL WILL BE
WHAT IS NATURAL.
AND WHEN YOU FIND YOUR RESTING PLACE OF WHO YOU
ARE AND WHOSE YOU ARE.
BUT THAT STARTS BY FIRST I RECEIVE HIS LOVE.
I REALIZE THAT ANY VIEW THAT I HAD OF PAPA GOD,
THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE JESUS IS ACTUALLY WRONG.
REBECCA: YEAH, BECAUSE HE'S THE VISIBLE IMAGE
OF THE INVISIBLE GOD.
LEIF: EXACTLY.
REBECCA: SO IF YOUR VIEW OF GOD THE FATHER IS NOT THE SAME,
IS NOT WHO JESUS'
CHARACTER IS THEN SOMETHING IN YOUR VIEW OF
GOD THE FATHER IS OFF.
LEIF: DID YOU KNOW THAT 92% OF AMERICANS
THAT ARE OUT THERE, HAVE A VIEW OF GOD THAT IS EITHER
AUTHORITATIVE, CRITICAL, DISTANT, ANGRY?
THEY HAVE --
BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT 92% OF THE BELIEVERS HAS?
SO THE SURVEYS ARE SHOWING US, US BELIEVERS, HOW WE SEE
THE FATHERS, HOW WE HAVE SHOWN THE WORLD.
AND NOW WE WONDER WHY THE WORLD IS ANGRY OR MESSED
UP OR, IS BECAUSE OUR VIEW OF THE FATHER.
WHILE FOR ME, IT'S SO IMPORTANT AND A GOOD
STARTING POINT THAT I'VE SHARED SEVERAL DIFFERENT
TIMES DURING THIS DAY, IS THAT THE LUKE 15,
BECAUSE THEY ARE SO AGITATED AT JESUS WHEN
LUKE 15 STARTS, HOW COULD YOU, JESUS,
BE WHO YOU SAYS YOU ARE?
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT SINNERS AND TAX COLLECTORS
IS HANGING AROUND YOU?
IT'S THE HEAD OF VIEW OF GOD THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE HIM
AND THEN JESUS TELLS THE STORY.
HE TALKS ABOUT A SHEPHERD.
HE WILL LEAVE THE 99 FOR THE ONE.
THEN HE TALKS ABOUT THE WOMAN WITH A COIN.
GOD IS LIKE A WOMAN.
GOD IS LIKE A SHEPHERD BECAUSE THAT'S THE
QUESTION HOW HE COULD BE GOD WHEN HE --
SINNERS AND TAX COLLECTORS.
AND THEN HE SAID, GOD IS LIKE A FATHER
THAT HAS TWO SONS.
AND THEN HE TALKS ABOUT THE WORSE SIN
THAT A JEWISH BOY COULD DO, THE REBELLION
AND EVERYTHING, ENDING UP IN THE PIGPEN
SMELLING LIKE PIG.
YOU CANNOT EVEN EAT PIGS AS A JEW.
BUT HERE YOU SEE THIS FATHER THAT IS LOOKING,
A FATHER, FULL OF COMPASSION.
A FATHER RUNNING TOWARDS HIM,
NOT AWAY FROM HIM.
A FATHER EMBRACING HIM
AND KISSING HIM OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
AND WHAT IS JESUS DOING?
HE'S DESCRIBING A GOD JUST LIKE HIMSELF.
SO YOUR WORST MOMENT, REBECCA,
AT YOUR WORST MOMENT,
THE DARKEST MOMENT, AT YOUR WORST BEHAVIOR,
THAT HE DIDN'T TURN AWAY FROM YOU.
THAT'S WHAT RELIGION WANTS TO SAY.
NOW YOU ARE ACTUALLY TURNING AWAY FROM HIS LOVE
AND THE ENEMY IS BLACKMAILING YOU.
IT'S NOT THAT GOD IS NOT HOLY,
IT'S JUST IN HIS HOLINESS,
WHEN HE'S LOOKING AT US,
WE ARE THE ONE THAT IS TURNING AWAY
BECAUSE OF OUR ISSUES.
AND THE SAFEST PLACE WE CAN DO IS TO REPENT
AND GETTING RIGHT BACK TO OUR FATHER.
THAT'S THE SECURITY.
SO IF THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE, YOU PUT FIG LEAVES ON,
YOU'RE COVERING UP.
YOU'RE AFRAID OF
NAKEDNESS, TRANSPARENCY.
IT'S TIME JUST TO STRIP OFF ALL OF THAT AND COME
HOME, BECAUSE THERE IS A FATHER,
AND THE BEST OF WHO YOU ARE WILL ONLY BE
FOUND IN JESUS.
BUT YOU CANNOT EXPERIENCE THE FULLNESS OF JESUS
WITHOUT BEING LOVED BY THE SAME FATHER
THAT JESUS WAS LOVED BY.
BECAUSE THAT WAS THE SPECIAL SAUCE OF JESUS.
AND THAT BECOMES YOUR SPECIAL SAUCE.
REBECCA: SO CAN WE PRAY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE LISTENING?
LEIF: WE WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT.
SO, FATHER, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
ALL OF THE PEOPLE THAT ARE OUT THERE,
THEY'RE JUST, THEY CAN EVEN SENSE IT RIGHT NOW,
THE LONGING FOR BELONGING.
AND IN JOHN 14:18, JESUS SAYS,
I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU AS AN ORPHAN,
I WILL COME TO YOU.
I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU AS AN ORPHAN,
I WILL COME TO YOU.
THE REASON JESUS SAID THAT WAS BECAUSE HE HEARD THE
FATHER SAY THAT, AND ALL HE SAID IS WHAT HE HEARD
HIS FATHER SAY.
HE SAID, I ACTUALLY CAME TO RESTORE YOU BACK TO THE
SAME LOVE THAT I'VE EXPERIENCED FROM MY FATHER.
THIS PERFECT LOVE, JUST AS IF YOU HAD NEVER SINNED.
SO FATHER, I JUST RELEASE NOW THAT
LOVE THAT I EXPERIENCED,
DECEMBER '99, THAT WAS JUST COMING OVER ME.
THE VERY LOVE THAT I SAW INTO THE EYES OF MALACHI,
MY GRANDSON.
WHEN I LOOKED AT HIS FACE AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND WOW.
AND WHEN I LOOKED AT THAT FACE,
THAT INNOCENCE AND THE CHILDLIKENESS AND THE WAY
I FELT THIS LOVE FOR THAT LITTLE BOY,
I REALIZED THAT'S HOW THE FATHER IS
SEEING YOU RIGHT NOW.
AND I'M JUST ASKING AT THIS MOMENT THAT THAT EYES,
THOSE EYES OF LOVE THAT I FELT WHEN I LOOKED
AT MY GRANDSON LAST WEEK, AND I WEPT AND I WEPT
BECAUSE I REALIZED THE FATHER GOD, LEIF,
THAT'S HOW I SEE YOU.
THAT'S HOW HE SEES YOU.
AND HE'S GOING TO RESTORE YOUR INNOCENCE
AND YOUR CHILDLIKENESS BACK.
SO JUST COME, HOLY SPIRIT,
ACCORDING TO ROMANS 5:5,
AND IMMERSE US IN THAT LOVE,
THAT LOVE OF THE FATHER.
JUST LET THOSE WAVES OF LOVE GOING INTO THOSE
HIDDEN CORE AREAS IN OUR LIFE.
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND JUST VISUALIZE THIS PAPA,
THAT HE IS A GOOD PAPA.
HE LOOKS --
SO IF YOU SAY IT'S HARD FOR ME BECAUSE AN EARTHLY FATHER,
JUST FORGIVE THOSE OF YOU AND JUST IMAGINE
HOW JESUS IS.
IF IT IS LIKE IN THE CHOSEN SERIES,
WHATEVER IMAGE YOU HAVE OF JESUS,
JUST LET THAT BE THE PICTURE OF PAPA,
AND COME HOME.
ALLOW HIM TO LOVE ON YOU IN A WAY YOU'VE NEVER BEEN
LOVED BEFORE AND TO MAKE YOU WHOLE.
SO THOSE EYES OF LOVE, THOSE EYES OF LOVE,
BRING HEALING RIGHT NOW.
THE ARMS OF LOVE TO EMBRACE YOU AND GIVE YOU
THAT SECURITY WHEN HE HUGS AROUND YOU.
WHOA.
JUST HEAL ANY AREA OF BEING UNWANTED AND, OH,
THE KISSES FROM PAPA.
THE FIRST TIME THAT HAPPENED TO ME,
IT WRECKED ME.
LET IT WRECK YOU RIGHT NOW THAT THE FATHER,
THAT GOD, THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, IS YOUR PAPA.
JUST AS I KISS MY GRANDCHILD,
HE'S KISSING YOU.
AND HE REMINDS YOU THIS IS WHO YOU ARE.
LEIF, YOU ARE NOT THIS OR THAT.
YOU HAVE BEEN MY AMBASSADOR OF LOVE.
YOU'RE MY SON
THAT REPRESENTS ME IN THE MIDDLE EAST
AND ALL OVER WHERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE REPRESENTING MY LOVE.
AND JUST TELL PEOPLE WHAT I'VE DONE IN YOUR LIFE AND
HOW I TOOK YOU FROM BROKENNESS TO HELPING YOU
TO FIND HOW GOOD I AM AND HOW LOVED YOU ARE.
I RELEASE THOSE WAVES OF LOVE TO CONTINUE FOR THE
NEXT 24 HOURS.
SO YOU BECOME LOVE SO THAT YOU CAN GIVE LOVE,
RECEIVE, BECOME, RELEASE BECAUSE YOU ARE ROOTED
AND GROUNDED IN LOVE.
TO KNOW HOW HIGH AND DEEP AND WIDE AND LONG THAT
LOVE IS, SO THAT THE FULLNESS DWELLS IN THERE.
JUST TOUCH REBECCA RIGHT NOW,
EVEN WITH HER LITTLE BABY THAT SHE CARRIES.
AND I THANK YOU FOR THE ASSIGNMENT THAT SHE HAS TO
BE AN AMBASSADOR OF LOVE, TO BE A LOVE AMBASSADOR IN
THIS CULTURE, TO BE A CULTURE SHAPER.
I JUST SAW THAT THERE IS A WHOLE GENERATION THAT YOU ARE
RESTORING THEIR IDENTITY, A WHOLE GENERATION,
YOU'RE RESTORING THEIR VALUE.
BUT I FELT THE PICTURE THAT CAME TO ME,
YOU'RE ALSO RESTORING THE DREAMS, A GENERATION
HAD STOPPED DREAMING.
AND PAPA GOD WANTS TO DREAM WITH HIS
SONS AND DAUGHTERS.
THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
THEY KNOW HOW VALUABLE.
JESUS DIDN'T DIE ON THE
CROSS TO MAKE THEM VALUABLE.
HE DIED ON THE CROSS BECAUSE THEY ARE VALUABLE.
JUST LOOK AT THE PRICE THAT JESUS PAID.
AND I JUST SAW THAT YOU'RE RESTORING THE VALUE BACK
AGAIN TO A GENERATION THAT THE ENEMY
HAS BEEN DEVALUED.
AND WITH SO MANY COUNTERFEIT AFFECTION OF LOVE,
AND THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HELP THEM TO DREAM AND
TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND TO DREAM WITH PAPA GOD.
DREAM SOME BIG DREAM THAT THEY'RE GOING TO NEED
THE HOLY SPIRIT, THEY'RE GOING TO NEED JESUS.
THEY'RE GOING TO NEED PAPA,
BUT THEY'RE GOING TO NEED ONE ANOTHER.
SO RAISE UP A HEALTHY CULTURE, FAMILY CULTURE.
AND I THANK YOU FOR REBECCA
FOR BEING A FORERUNNER FOR THAT GENERATION TO PREPARE,
TO PREPARE US.
AND THE PICTURE
I SAW LIKE THIS DANIEL, SHADRACH, MESHACH,
AND ABEDNEGO, THAT THESE FOUR FRIENDS,
THAT YOU CAN PUT THEM INTO ANY CULTURE AND THEY WOULD
CHANGE THE CULTURE BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE.
AND THE ENEMY MAY BE TAKING THE LABEL AND
RENAMED THEM AND PUT THE ENEMY'S NAME.
AND SOME OF THE PEOPLE OUT THERE,
YOU MAY HAVE THE NAME
SHAME ON YOU OR GUILT OR FEAR,
BUT WE'RE GOING TO TAKE UP THOSE LABELS OFF.
THAT'S NOT WHO YOU ARE.
LET ME TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE.
AND LET'S PUT THE REAL NAME ON YOU.
YOU ARE BELOVED AND YOU'RE BELOVED
SONS AND DAUGHTERS.
SO PUT THAT NAME ON YOU, THAT NAME TAG,
LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND SEE YOU THE WAY THAT PAPA GOD SEES YOU.
IT IS THE TRUTH
AND KNOWING THAT TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.
AND FREE PEOPLE OUT THERE,
YOU'RE GOING TO SET PEOPLE FREE.
SO BE FREE IN JESUS' NAME.
IN JESUS NAME', AMEN.
AMEN, AMEN.
REBECCA: AMEN.
SUCH A GOOD PRAYER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
AND I THAT'S WHAT I REALLY FELT.
EVEN LIKE JUST BEING AROUND YOU BEFORE WE FILMED IS LIKE
YOU'RE WALKING IN LIKE REAL FREEDOM.
AND I -- IT'S LIKE I, IT'S LIKE,
I WANT THAT AND I WANT OTHER PEOPLE TO HAVE THAT, TOO.
IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU REALLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU
DON'T FEEL YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING FROM ANYONE,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING TO ANYONE,
THAT'S REAL FREEDOM, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOING
IN TO THIS WORLD AROUND YOU WANTING TO LIKE
SUCK SOMETHING OUT.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE COMING TO BRING SOMETHING AND YOU
DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO PROVE.
AND THAT'S WHEN YOU CAN REALLY MAKE
SUCH A HUGE DIFFERENCE.
AND SO THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT,
IS JUST THE FREEDOM THAT COMES.
AND, YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST MY --
I THINK MY HEART JUST
DOING THIS PODCAST IS I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO HAVE
THAT FREEDOM, YOU KNOW.
SO YOU SAID THAT,
IT WAS A PROCESS.
SO WHEN YOU HAD THAT EXPERIENCE YOU WERE IN --
SO WHEN YOU WERE IN '99 AND YOU WERE IN THAT MEETING,
YOU HAD BEEN IN A PLACE,
YOU WERE PROBABLY AT YOUR
LOW POINT WHERE YOU HAD BEEN IN THIS --
YOU HAD BEEN IN A REALLY BAD CAR ACCIDENT AND YOU
HAD BROKEN YOUR --
HOW MUCH DAMAGE DID YOU HAVE TO YOUR BODY?
LEIF: I BROKE MY BACK, SEVEN RIBS,
MY LEG IN DIFFERENT PLACES.
I HAD QUITE A --
REBECCA: YOU WERE IN A REALLY INTENSE CAR ACCIDENT.
YOU HAD 12 SURGERIES.
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: AND THEN YOU SAID YOU ALSO HAD BEEN KICKED OUT OF
YOUR DENOMINATION, WHICH THAT'S A REALLY BIG REJECTION.
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: AND VERY PAINFUL.
SO YOU WERE IN THIS LOW PLACE AND YOU SAID THAT
YOU HAD THIS REVELATION WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER WAS
SITTING ON YOUR LAP, THAT YOUR THAT --
WHAT WAS THAT REVELATION AGAIN?
LEIF: THE BIGGEST REVELATION WHEN SHE SAT THERE,
I REALIZED JUST THAT I'M NOT ABLE TO DO MY DREAM.
I'M NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING MORE.
ALL THE VALUE SYSTEM I JUST --
THAT STARTED MY PROCESS,
THAT EVERYTHING THAT I'VE TRIED TO DO, I CAN'T DO.
REBECCA: SO IT'S KIND OF LIKE WHEN IT WAS ALL
TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU.
LEIF: IT WAS TAKEN AWAY.
REBECCA: AND YOU COULD NEVER DO --
YOU WEREN'T ABLE TO PERFORM ANYMORE THAT YOU
REALIZED SOMETHING'S OFF.
LEIF: YEAH, AND THEN AT
THAT MOMENT, IT STARTED FOR ME TO OPEN
MYSELF BECAUSE I HAD TO GET TO THE BOTTOM
BEFORE I COULD GET HELP.
AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT PEOPLE NEED TO BE WHERE I
WAS AT, BUT YOU HAVE TO HIT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR
ORPHAN STATE WHERE YOU FINALLY SAYS, NO,
I DON'T WANT TO OPERATE AS AN ORPHAN ANY LONGER.
REBECCA: I'M NOT GOING TO PERFORM ANYMORE.
LEIF: I'M NOT GOING TO PERFORM.
YEAH, AND I CANNOT GIVE SOMETHING I DIDN'T RECEIVE.
SO IT HAS TO --
SO I POSITIONED MYSELF TO RECEIVE SOMETHING THAT I
COULD NOT DO ANYTHING FOR JUST
LIKE MY SALVATION HAD BEEN.
NOW I NEEDED SOMETHING ELSE IN MY LIFE TO HEAL,
SOMETHING THAT WAS BROKEN.
BUT I REALIZED I'M BROKEN.
NOT JUST SPIRITUALLY, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY.
SO IT'S JUST BEING HONEST WITH
YOURSELF AND AUTHENTICITY.
AND I'M HONEST, I CAN'T DO THIS ANY LONGER.
I CAN'T MINISTER, I CAN'T BE THE HUSBAND.
I CANNOT BE THE FATHER, I CANNOT, I FAILED,
I CAN'T DO IT.
AND GOD SAYS, GOOD, NOW WE CAN BEGIN.
SO THAT KIND OF SET ME UP FOR WHAT BECAME THE BAPTISM.
LET ME SHOW YOU THEN, RECEIVE FROM ME.
BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I'VE WANTED FROM THE BEGINNING
FOR YOU JUST TO RECEIVE FROM ME.
YOU WERE NEVER CALLED TO DO IT.
I'VE ALWAYS JUST WANTED YOU TO RECEIVE FROM ME,
JUST LIKE MY SON.
ALL HE DID, WHAT HE SAW ME DO,
HE SAID WHAT HE HEARD ME SAY.
JESUS SAID, IT'S BETTER I'M GOING AWAY.
I'M SENDING YOU THE SAME HELPER THAT JESUS HAD,
THE HOLY SPIRIT.
AND THEN HE'S GOING TO COME
AND HE'S GOING TO REST UPON YOU
WHEN YOU FIND THAT RESTING PLACE AND THEN YOU GET TO
DO WHAT I DO AND BE CONNECTED TO THE SAME
FATHER THAT JESUS WAS BEING FATHERED BY.
AND THAT'S THE KEY
AND NOT LIVING ANY LONGER AS AN ORPHAN.
THAT'S WHAT JESUS SAID IN JOHN 14:18.
AND IT WAS A PROCESS BECAUSE I THINK THE SECOND
STAGE OF MINE WAS SIX, SEVEN YEARS LATER,
WHERE I GOT BURNED OUT AND CRASHLANDED.
NOT BECAUSE I WAS NOT LOVED,
BUT NOW I STARTED TO LOVE THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOVE OPENED
UP AND LOVE --
BUT IT WAS LOVE THAT WAS MOTIVATED.
BUT NOW IT WAS
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE MYSELF THE WAY PAPA GOD
LOVED ME.
AND THAT WAS THE SECOND STAGE OF MY JOURNEY.
REBECCA: OKAY, SO WHEN YOU FIRST CAME TO THE LORD,
FATHER GOD WAS THERE WANTING TO GIVE YOU LOVE,
BUT YOUR NATURAL REACTION WAS JUST TO PERFORM
BECAUSE YOU HAD THIS ORPHANNESS.
AND THEN YOU GOT TO YOUR LOWEST POINT,
AND THEN YOU REALIZED I CAN'T PERFORM ANYMORE.
GOD HELP ME.
THEN YOU HAVE THIS ENCOUNTER WITH GOD WHERE
DENNIS, WHO'S A PROPHETIC WORSHIP LEADER,
SANG A FATHER GOD SONG OVER YOU AND YOU
EXPERIENCE THAT BAPTISM OF LOVE.
GOD STARTS WALKING YOU THROUGH YOUR LIFE FROM
BEING A BABY TO THAT TIME WHEN YOU'RE 12.
AND WHAT DID HE DO IN THAT MOMENT?
HE SHOWED YOU LOVE.
LEIF: IT WAS LIKE A PICTURE OF MY BROKEN
AND THEN LOVE CAME IN.
HE JUST KIND OF WASHED --
REBECCA: AND LIKE HEALED IT.
LEIF: HEALED IT, HEALED IT, YEAH.
IT WAS A HEALING THAT WENT INTO THOSE CRACKS.
THEN IT WENT INTO THE NEXT THING AND THE NEXT THING,
WHICH IS WAVES, THE WAVES.
IT WAS LIKE, I'M JUST SITTING THERE AND I'M
LAYING ON THE FLOOR JUST WAVES.
REBECCA: JUST WAVES WITH LOVE.
LEIF: BUT IT WAS LIKE THE VISUAL.
I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS DREAM VISION,
BUT I'M JUST LAYING THERE.
IT'S LIKE PICTURES OF THINGS THAT I --
IT'S SUBCONSCIOUS.
90% THAT WAS COMING THERE, I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT,
BUT FATHER KNEW.
HE JUST LET HIS LOVE GO INTO THOSE CRACKS
IN THE FOUNDATION.
AND SO YOU'RE GETTING INTO AN OCEAN OF LOVE
AND YOU START TO DRINK.
AND IT GOES INTO EVERY AREA UNTIL YOU ARE IN THE
LOVE, AND THE LOVE IS IN YOU.
AND SUDDENLY, SOMETHING IN YOU BECOMES ALIVE,
THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO BE AND TO DO.
THAT'S THE BEST PICTURE.
REBECCA: SO YOU GET UP FROM THIS EXPERIENCE,
BUT YOU SAY IT'S A PROCESS.
SO FROM THERE YOU SAID THAT YOU WENT FROM LIKE
LOVING THE WHOLE WORLD, BUT THEN YOU SAID
SOMETHING HAPPENED SEVEN YEARS LATER.
LEIF: YEAH, AND PART OF WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW,
I'M A SON DOING WHAT THE FATHER'S DOING.
BUT NOW I'M GETTING FAVOR BECAUSE
A SON WOULD ADOPT.
AND ALSO A LOT OF PEOPLE WANTED THIS NEW MESSAGE.
THEY STARTED TO HEAR ABOUT IT.
SO IN THE NEXT MOMENT, I'M ON TV SHOWS AND START TO
WRITE BOOKS AND YOU GET -- AND THINGS START TO TAKE OFF.
WE NEED THIS IN AFRICA, WE NEED THIS IN PAKISTAN.
REBECCA: BECAUSE THERE'S SUCH A HUGE NEED.
LEIF: THERE WAS, EVERYWHERE WAS THERE,
SO IN THE NEXT MONTH.
BUT I STILL HAD PHYSICAL PAIN.
AND THEN THERE WAS OTHER ATTACKS THAT CAME IN,
IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF THAT.
SO A COMBINATION OF ALL OF THAT.
AND THEN I HAD BEEN ON OPIATES,
PAIN MEDICATION FOR ALSO ALL THE SURGERIES.
AND SO YOU WENT THROUGH MORE OF THOSE PROCESSES.
BUT THEN BY DECEMBER AND THAT'S WHAT IT WAS,
EXCUSE ME.
IT WAS IN, MAY 26, 2006.
BUT DECEMBER 2005, IT STARTED WHERE GOD TOOK ME
TO A FIVE-MONTH PERIOD OF TIME.
HE JUST LIFTED HIS PRESENCE,
AND I WENT TO A TREATMENT CENTER AND WENT TO ANOTHER
PROCESS IN MY LIFE.
BUT THE MAJOR THING HE WAS GOING AFTER
AT THAT MOMENT, LEIF,
YOU HAVE NOT YET LEARNED TO LOVE YOU
THE WAY THAT I LOVE YOU.
AND I JUST REALIZED THAT I'VE RECEIVED THIS LOVE
AND I GIVE THIS LOVE.
BUT I DIDN'T TAKE THE TIME TO BE ABLE TO BE LOVING
MYSELF THE WAY PAPA GOD LOVES ME.
AND I REALIZED, LIKE ONE EXAMPLE WOULD BE JOHN IN
THE BIBLE, THAT JOHN, WOW.
HE KNEW HOW MUCH JESUS LOVED HIM,
BUT HE STILL ENDED UP AS A SON OF THUNDER UNTIL LATER ON.
SIX TIMES IN THE GOSPEL OF JOHN, JOHN SAYS,
I'M THE ONE THAT HE LOVES.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: SIX TIMES.
NOBODY ELSE SAYS THAT.
REBECCA: IT'S NOT A PRIDE THING.
IT WAS LIKE A REVELATION.
LEIF: IT WAS A REVELATION TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND SEE WHAT --
IT'S NOT JUST, NO, I'M HIS FAVORITE ONE.
AND PAPA GOD WANTS THAT FOR EACH ONE.
I HAVE TWO GRANDKIDS, FOUR KIDS.
ALL OF THEM FEEL THAT WAY AND I WANT THEM
TO FEEL THAT WAY.
BUT LATER ON, I SAW ALSO PETER
THAT'S BEEN MY ONE OF MY NEWEST STUDIES.
I STUDIED THE LIFE OF PETER BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE
LIKE JOHN SINCE MY BAPTISM OF LOVE,
AND I'VE STUDIED JOHN AND LOVED JOHN AND EVERYTHING
ABOUT JOHN.
BUT THEN GOD BROUGHT UP PETER TO ME AND I SAID,
LEIF, WHO ARE THE ONE THAT YOU'RE THE MOST LIKE?
I'D SAY, PETER, BUT I WANT TO BE LIKE JOHN
IN A SENSE.
BUT THEN HE SHOWED ME SOMETHING
WITH PETER'S JOURNEY ALSO.
REBECCA: WHAT WAS THAT?
LEIF: PETER STARTED, FIRST,
HE HAD A BETRAYAL OF JESUS, BUT HE WAS RADICAL
IN ONE MOMENT AND ONE.
BUT HE WAS NOT THERE ON FRIDAY.
HE WAS NOT THERE ON SUNDAY.
HE WAS NOT THERE AT THE RESURRECTION.
LATER ON, JESUS APPEARED TWO TIMES AND ONE THE
FIRST APPEARANCE WHEN HE SHOWED HIMSELF
TO THE TWO WOMEN.
HE SAID, TELL AND ESPECIALLY PETER,
THE BOOK OF MARK SAYS, HE STILL,
STILL HAD PETER ON HIS MIND,
BECAUSE PETER STILL NOW WITH NOT LOVING PETER,
HE CALLED HIM PETER, BUT HE WENT BACK TO THE
ASSIGNMENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, UNTIL IN JOHN 21.
THAT'S AFTER ANOTHER THREE APPEARANCES OF JESUS, SEEN
SIGNS, WONDERS, AND MIRACLES.
BUT THEN EVENTUALLY JESUS CAME.
SIMON, DO YOU LOVE ME?
REBECCA: I'VE NEVER FULLY UNDERSTOOD THAT STORY.
SO IF YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN THAT TO ME,
THAT'S ALWAYS CONFUSED ME.
LEIF: NO, SO HERE WE ARE.
BECAUSE WHAT WAS --
REBECCA: BECAUSE HE SAID IT THREE TIMES.
LEIF THREE: TIMES, YEAH.
FIRST, IF YOU SEE THE ROOT RIGHT BEFORE.
IN JOHN 21,
I THINK IT'S VERSE 9, YOU WILL SEE.
THERE IT SAYS
THEY ARE OUT FISHING.
WHY?
FIRST OF ALL, WHY WOULD YOU GO BACK TO FISHING
AGAIN OR DURING COVID YOU GO BACK AND TRY TO FIND
SOMETHING OF THE WORLD THAT YOU STILL WANTS TO.
REBECCA: IT'S LIKE GOING BACK TO HIS OLD LIFE.
LEIF: HIS OLD LIFE.
WHAT YOU HAD GIVEN UP THAT,
NOT TO HAVE JESUS AS SAVIOR,
BUT LORD, YOU GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR THE
LORDSHIP AND STILL YOU DID THAT.
AFTER ALL THE MIRACLES, AFTER EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SEEN,
WHY WOULD YOU STILL DO THAT, PETER?
THEN BY THE VERSE, WHEN WE KNOW THE STORY
THAT THEY'RE DISAPPOINTED, FISH ALL NIGHT,
CAN'T GET IT.
THIS DOESN'T FUNCTION, TO GO BACK TO MY OLD WAYS
DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE THERE'S A CALLING
OVER MY LIFE.
THEN THEY'RE COMING IN,
HEY, GUYS.
HEY, BOYS, DID YOU GET ANY FISH?
NO.
WHY DON'T YOU THROW IT ON THE OTHER SIDE?
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THAT HAPPENED?
WHAT IS JESUS DOING?
IS HEALING THE FIRST LOVE AND THE FIRST CALLING.
WE KNOW THE STORY WHEN JOHN, PETER.
NOBODY CAN RECOGNIZE, THIS IS THE GLORIFIED JESUS
STANDING ON THE SHORE AFTER THE RESURRECTION.
AND THEN THEY ARE SEEING HIM,
IT'S LIKE,
AND JOHN SAYS, IT IS THE LORD.
PETER PUTS ON HIS CLOAK, JUMPS IN THE WATER AND SWIMS.
I DON'T KNOW IF HE THINKS HE'S GOING TO WALK ON
WATER AGAIN, BUT HE JUMPS IN THE WATER,
AND HE COMES TO THE SHORE.
THERE'S A FIRE, CALLED A FIRE THERE.
THIS IS VERY SIGNIFICANT BECAUSE WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME THEY CALLED A FIRE?
THAT'S WHEN HE DENIED HIM THREE TIMES.
AND NOW THERE'S A CALLED OUT FIRE AGAIN.
BOOM.
SO WHEN HE SEES THAT CALL OF FIRE AND THE FISH,
HE JUST BREAKS DOWN AND HE COMES IN AND JESUS SAID,
HEY, GIVE ME SOME MORE FISH.
THEY'RE SITTING DOWN AND THAT'S WHEN JESUS SAID,
SIMON, LET'S HAVE A LITTLE CONVERSATION HERE.
DO YOU LOVE ME?
BUT DO YOU REMEMBER YOU SAID,
I'M GOING TO LOVE YOU MORE THAN THESE,
EVEN IF EVERYBODY ELSE LEAVE.
AND WE LIVE IN A CULTURE RIGHT NOW WHERE PEOPLE ARE
WRESTLING WITH, HERE'S THE POLITICAL,
I WILL NEVER DO THIS.
AND THEN YOU SEE THE WHOLE CHAOS THAT'S HAPPENING
AND THE WAY WE RESPOND,
THAT'S WHAT WAS HAPPENING WITH THEM.
SO THAT DAY, PETER DID THE VERY THING HE WILL NEVER
WANTED TO HAVE DONE.
HE DENIED JESUS THREE TIMES.
THREE TIMES HE FELL ASLEEP.
WHEN JESUS SAYS, BE WITH ME RIGHT BEFORE GETHSEMANE.
HE WAS NOT THERE ON FRIDAY.
FEAR, SHAME AND GUILT HAS COME IN.
IT'S NOT HOW MUCH JESUS LOVED HIM,
BUT SOMETHING WAS MISSING IN PETER AND HE WAS NOT
READY FOR PENTECOST YET.
AND THEN HE COMES IN WITH JESUS, SAYS, SIMON,
LET ME JUST TALK TO YOU.
DO YOU LOVE ME?
WHY THREE TIMES?
HOW MANY TIMES DID HE DENY HIM?
THREE TIMES.
HOW MANY TIMES DID HE FALL ASLEEP?
THREE TIMES.
WHAT DOES JESUS SAY?
DO YOU LOVE ME?
DO YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN THESE?
FEED MY LAMBS.
FEED MY SHEEP.
AND THEN HE SAYS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOU, PETER.
AND HE PROPHESIED THE VERSES AFTERWARDS.
I SAW YOU WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER.
YOU COULD GO WHEREVER YOU WANTED,
BUT AS AN OLD YOU REACH OUT YOUR HAND AND YOU DIED.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE FOR ME.
WHAT IS JESUS SAYING?
FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU,
THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVED IN YOU.
BUT YOU DO NOT BELIEVE IN YOU THE WAY I BELIEVE IN YOU.
YOU DON'T LOVE YOU, THE WAY I LOVE YOU.
AND UNTIL THAT LOVE COMES HERE,
LET ME HEAL WHAT IS BROKEN.
AND HE TAKES HIM BACK TO THE WORST MOMENT
OF HIS LIFE, HEALS THAT.
HE HEALS.
PUT IN THREE DENIES WITH THREE LOVES,
AND SOMETHING IN THE
ROOT ISSUE OF PETER FROM THAT MOMENT,
HE'S NO LONGER SIMON, HE'S PETER.
HE IS A ROCK UPON THIS UNSHAKABLE.
JESUS GAVE HIM THE NAME BEFORE
AND SOME OF US HAVE HAD A NAME,
BUT YOU HAVE NOT YET BECOME WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE
YOU DON'T LOVE YOU THE WAY THAT HE LOVES YOU.
AND IT WAS NEVER A QUESTION HOW MUCH JESUS
LOVED SIMON PETER, BUT HE DID NOT LOVE HIMSELF,
THE WAY THAT JESUS LOVED HIM UNTIL THAT MOMENT,
THE THIRD TIME THAT HEALED, THE SECOND FIRE WAS
NOT TO POINT WITH THE FINGER
WHAT YOU DID WRONG, BUT IT WAS JUST TO TAKE HIM BACK
TO THE MOMENT OF THE WORST MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE AND
LET JESUS HEAL THAT MOMENT.
SO YOU COULD SET THEM UP FOR A FIRE THAT MAKES YOU
BURN BRIGHTLY WITHOUT BURNING OUT,
WHERE YOU'RE COURAGEOUS.
YOU'RE BOLD BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT LOVE DOES.
REBECCA: AND WHAT'S SO INTERESTING IS I REMEMBER
WHEN I WAS TALKING TO JASON SOBEL,
HE TALKED ABOUT HOW THROUGH SIN,
ALL THESE RELATIONSHIPS WERE BROKEN.
OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE
ANOTHER AND OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OURSELVES.
AND SO GOD RESTORED YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF.
AND HE USED THIS STUDY OF PETER TO SHOW YOU THAT HE
HAD ALSO RESTORED PETER'S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIMSELF
AND TO LOVE YOURSELF THE WAY GOD LOVES YOU.
AND THERE'S SUCH AN EPIDEMIC IN SOCIETY WHERE
IT'S TRYING TO GIVE A SECULAR ANSWER OF TRYING
TO LOVE YOURSELF AND PEOPLE.
IT'S A HUGE ANTHEM NOW.
LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF.
BUT I ALWAYS, YOU KNOW, WHEN I HEAR THAT I'M LIKE,
THIS IS SILLY IN YOUR OWN STRENGTH,
YOU CAN'T LOVE YOURSELF OR IT'S GOING TO BE NOT
FRUITFUL OR IT'S GOING TO BECOME NARCISSISTIC WHERE
IT BECOMES SELFISH.
LEIF: THE IMPORTANT THING IS, FIRST,
YOU LOVE YOURSELF AS HE HAS LOVED YOU.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: WASHING YOUR FEET OF A JUDAS IN YOUR LIFE,
AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.
JOHN 13, VERSE 34 TO 35.
YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
IT SAYS NOT LOVING OR LOVING YOURSELF,
BUT AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.
SO ALLOWING FIRST OF ALL,
AS HE IS LOVING US, THEN BECOMING THAT LOVE.
AND THAT'S THE HEALTHY, THE SHALOM OF EVERYTHING ELSE.
AND THEN FROM THAT PLACE, NOW YOU CAN GIVE THIS
LOVE, RECEIVE IT, THEN YOU CAN BECOME IT,
AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE IT TO THE WORLD.
SO THAT FLOWS AND IT CONTINUES TO RECEIVE MORE,
BECOME MORE, RELEASE MORE.
AND YOU'RE COMING INTO THIS BEAUTIFUL RIVER.
WHEREVER THE RIVER GOES, THERE IS LIFE.
SO THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL PART OF THIS JOURNEY OF
TRANSFORMATION THAT IS BRINGING US INTO.
REBECCA: SO WHEN YOU WERE IN THAT PLACE,
YOU SAID SEVEN YEARS LATER,
YOU SAID YOU GOT INTO LIKE A -- DID YOU SAY
A TREATMENT CENTER?
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: AND SO IT KIND OF SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE HAD MOMENTS IN
YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU -- GOD HAD TO KIND OF STOP YOU
AND THEN DEAL WITH WHAT WAS GOING ON.
AND SO YOU WERE LOVING THE WORLD,
BUT YOU REALLY DIDN'T LOVE YOURSELF.
SO WHAT DID -- HOW DID THAT KIND OF -- WHAT DID THAT
CONVERSATION WITH GOD LOOK LIKE?
DID HE JUST KIND OF TELL YOU?
LEIF: YEAH, I THINK IT WAS, AGAIN,
A LOT OF MINE HAS BEEN PROCESSED.
REBECCA: IT'S A PROCESS.
LEIF: YEAH, BECAUSE --
REBECCA: SAME.
LEIF: YEAH, SO THE PROCESS --
REBECCA: SO BE ENCOURAGED.
IT'S A PROCESS.
LEIF: AND I'M STILL IN THE PROCESS.
REBECCA: SAME.
LEIF: I HAVE THIS ORPHAN TENDENCY THAT POPS UP
ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY.
AND IT'S LIKE, OH, I DID IT AGAIN.
THAT'S ORPHAN OR SOMETIMES YOU WOULD LIKE TO LIVE BY
HINTS INSTEAD OF FAITH OR THINGS POPS IN AND BUT AT
LEAST NOW YOU'RE AWARE,
YOU HAVE A SELF-AWARENESS.
THAT'S NOT WHO I AM.
THAT WAS THE OLD SIMON, BUT NOT THE PETER
OR THAT'S THE --
SO I THINK THAT WHAT HAPPENED AND WAS LIKE I
WAS GOING ALL OVER THE WORLD AND CRISIS MOMENTS.
AND HEY, HONEY, I KNOW, I LOVE YOU, TOO.
AND MY WIFE GOT THE LEFTOVER.
JESUS GOT A LEFTOVER BECAUSE I LOVED.
BECAUSE NOW THE DEMAND OF THIS LOVE MESSAGE.
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I'M ON THESE PLATFORMS.
DOORS OPEN, FAVOR IS OPENED
EVERYWHERE AND YOU GET PULLED EVERYWHERE,
YOU GET ALL THESE INVITATIONS.
AND BEFORE, YOU'RE FORGETTING ABOUT COMING
INTO THE SECRET PLACE BECAUSE PEOPLE WANT
THE SECRET BOOK, OR THEY WANT TO SEEK A PODCAST
OR THEY WANT --
SO YOU SUDDENLY NOW, JESUS GETS THE LEFTOVER IN
THE HOTEL ROOM LATE AT NIGHT TO RECEIVE THIS LOVE.
AND THE SAME IS ALSO YOU DO NOT TAKE CARE OF DOING
THE EXERCISES OR DOING THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF
YOURSELF, BECAUSE THE DEMAND WAS SO MUCH.
SO, THE SUBTLETY OF THAT IS JUST THAT YOU --
TO SOME DEGREE LEAVE YOUR FIRST LOVE,
THEN YOU HAVE TO GO BACK AGAIN.
THAT'S KIND OF IN THE BOOK OF EPHESIANS.
GET BACK TO WHAT YOU HAD BEFORE YOU FELL.
REBECCA: YEAH, IT'S IN THE BOOK OF REVELATION, TOO.
LEIF: IT IS THERE.
REBECCA: IT'S IN THE MESSAGE TO THE CHURCHES.
SO IT CAN HAPPEN.
LEIF: IT CAN HAPPEN.
REBECCA: AND YOU WHO ARE LIVING, YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHY,
THAT'S WHY A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS SO IMPORTANT,
BECAUSE HE AND HIS LOVE CALLS YOU BACK TO THE WAY
INTO ALIGNMENT, WHICH IS, YOU KNOW,
HAVING -- GOING TO THE SECRET PLACE FIRST.
AND THAT'S WHY JESUS' LIFE IS
SO GREAT TO LEARN FROM HIS LIFE AND MINISTRY IS
BECAUSE HE ALWAYS MADE SURE, THE DEMAND ON HIM WAS
SO GREAT, AND HE WOULD HAVE TO, LIKE,
SNEAK AWAY FROM THE CROWDS.
BUT I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
AND IT'S -- IT WAS UNINTENTIONAL,
BUT I THINK YOU CAN BE DOING MINISTRY,
AND MINISTRY IS GREAT.
AND LIKE COMPLETELY LACK IN YOUR OWN INTIMACY WITH
GOD AND YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
AND LIKE YOU SAID, PEOPLE COULD BE GETTING THE
LEFTOVER IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON'T MEAN TO
BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST TRYING.
THERE'S SUCH A HUGE --
LEIF: DEMAND, YEAH.
REBECCA: BIG AND HURTING, BROKEN WORLD.
BUT I THINK, DO YOU FEEL LIKE ONE OF THE THINGS
THAT GOD HAD TO TELL YOU WAS, HEY,
I'M THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD,
AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO BE GOING OUT
AND DOING EVERYTHING.
LEIF: YEAH, I THINK THAT THE DIFFERENCE WAS THAT THE
MOTIVATION WAS MAYBE DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE.
BEFORE I WAS DOING THIS FOR HIM,
NOW FROM HIM.
BUT I THINK THAT INCLUDING NOW,
IF I -- MOST OF MY SPIRITUAL SONS AND DAUGHTERS,
I HAVE THE HONOR IN 22 COUNTRIES,
RAISED UP A BEAUTIFUL, HEALTHY FAMILY ALL OVER,
INCLUDING ONE ARRIVES RIGHT NOW IN ATLANTA,
IS GOING TO BE WITH ME FOR FOUR MONTHS
FROM THE PHILIPPINES.
REBECCA: SO COOL.
LEIF: THEY ARE HEALTHY.
SO THERE'S SOME OF THE SCARS I HAVE,
THEY DON'T HAVE TO HAVE.
I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE.
THAT'S WHAT MY HEART IS SHARING MY STORIES THAT
LET IT BE A GENERATION THAT CAN LOVE JESUS WELL,
LOVE THEMSELVES, LOVE THEIR SPOUSE,
LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, AND STILL MAKE A KINGDOM
IMPACT AROUND THE WORLD.
I CAN SEE IT NOW HOW THAT CAN HAPPEN.
I JUST DIDN'T -- THERE WAS NOT MUCH REVELATION OF AT
THAT TIME, BUT HOW THAT COULD HAPPEN.
BECAUSE AS I WAS SAYING, I WAS GOING INTO SOME OTHER
PLACES NOBODY ELSE COULD GO INTO WITH THE GOSPEL,
AND I HAD SUCH A STRONG CALLING.
BUT WHAT IT DID WAS THAT IT STARTED TO PULL ME MORE
AND MORE AND MORE.
THE PAIN LEVEL WAS GREATER.
I HAD TO TAKE MORE AND MORE MEDICINE,
AND IT JUST STARTED --
REBECCA: YOU WERE HURTING YOUR BODY.
LEIF: HURTING MY BODY.
REBECCA: BECAUSE YOU WERE RUNNING YOURSELF RAGGED.
LEIF: THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.
SO I HAD --
REBECCA: BUT YOU HAD A GOOD MOTIVATION.
LEIF: I HAD A MOTIVATION.
BUT I JUST --
REBECCA: SO WHAT DID GOD TELL YOU?
WAS HE JUST LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO
EVERYTHING, LEIF.
LIKE YOU CAN CALM -- LIKE YOU CAN --
DID HE JUST TELL YOU, LIKE IT'S OKAY TO TAKE A BREAK?
LEIF: YEAH, I MEAN, AND THE BIGGEST DECEPTION,
REBECCA, WAS THE ANOINTING
WAS AT THE GREATEST
AT MY DYSFUNCTION, THAT WAS THE HIGHEST.
THAT WAS THE DECEPTION.
AND DECEPTION IS VERY DECEIVING.
REBECCA: OH, OH, IT'S THE WORST.
LEIF: SO THE THING EVEN MY WIFE, AT TIMES,
SHE WARNED, YOU NEED TO TAKE A SABBATH.
YOU NEED TO REST AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
BUT SOME DEGREE,
I MEAN, WE SAW THE MOST MIRACLES DURING MY BIGGEST
DYSFUNCTION AT THAT TIME PERIOD.
SO I STILL REMEMBER I STOOD IN DAR ES SALAAM,
IN MY SHADOW
WAS THIS CRIPPLED MUSLIM BEHIND
AND HER LIMBS WERE STRAIGHTENED OUT.
REBECCA: OH MY GOSH, SO YOU WERE THINKING I GOT
TO KEEP GOING.
LEIF: YEAH, BUT SO IT'S LIKE --
REBECCA: BUT GOD LIFTED HIS PRESENCE.
LEIF: AND THEN I CAME HOME AND THE PRESENCE LIFTED.
BOOM.
REBECCA: AND YOU WERE LIKE WHAT?
LEIF: AND I HAVE ALL THIS PAIN IN MY BODY.
I HAVE ALL THIS, BUT THERE'S NO ANOINTING.
AND THE NEXT FIVE MONTHS PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY,
SPIRITUALLY, AGAIN, I WENT THROUGH.
SO IT WAS FIVE MONTHS.
BUT THE BIGGEST THING IS THERE WAS NO DOVE,
THERE WAS NO PRESENCE.
I COULDN'T SEE HIS FACE.
I COULDN'T HEAR HIS VOICE.
I COULDN'T FEEL HIS LOVE.
IT WAS JUST THIS I DON'T STRUGGLE WITH DEPRESSION.
I WAS BURNED OUT, CRASH LANDED,
BUT WAS SICK PHYSICALLY.
AND THEN I GOT OFF ALL THE OPIATES,
ALL PAIN MEDICATION.
I'VE BEEN OFF ALL OF THAT FOR 18 YEARS SINCE THEN.
REBECCA: THAT'S AMAZING.
LEIF: THAT WAS DECEMBER 2ND, YEAH.
SO THAT STARTED THAT JOURNEY OF MY LIFE.
SO BECAUSE AGAIN, TO KEEP EVERYTHING GOING,
YOU HAVE TO MEDICATE MORE.
REBECCA: YOU HAVE TO MEDICATE BECAUSE YOU'RE IN PAIN.
LEIF: BECAUSE MY BODY CAN'T HANDLE IT.
BUT THEN I CAME HOME, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO
ANYTHING, SIMILAR SITUATION AS THE FIRST.
BUT THIS TIME HE WENT IN.
LET ME SHOW IT, YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOU,
THE WAY THAT I LOVE YOU.
AND THAT'S WHEN JOHN CAME INTO MY LIFE.
JOHN LOVED JOHN THE WAY JESUS LOVED JOHN.
THE FATHER LOVED JESUS, BUT JESUS LOVED JESUS,
THE WAY THE FATHER LOVED JESUS.
THAT WAS THE SECRET OF JESUS' LIFE
AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE.
THE FATHER LOVED LUCIFER, BUT LUCIFER
DIDN'T LOVE LUCIFER.
THAT'S WHAT LED TO THE FALL,
WHERE THE ONE-THIRD FALLEN ORPHAN SPIRIT.
SO THE MAJOR PART OF THE ORPHAN SPIRIT WAS ROOTED
IN NOT RECEIVING THAT LOVE OF THE FATHER.
BECAUSE COVENANT IS WHEN YOU BECOME ONE
WITH THAT LOVE, ATONEMENT.
BUT IT'S ALSO CONNECTED TO BE, TO BECOMING ONE.
SO WHEN JESUS WAS SO MUCH AT ONE WITH THE LOVE OF
THE FATHER, AND THAT'S WHERE I WAS MISSING IN MY
LIFE, I DID NOT TAKE THE TIME.
AND I'M STILL STRUGGLING.
I'M STILL WRESTLING WITH IT BECAUSE I'M DOING A
DOCTOR DEGREE RIGHT NOW.
I'M HERE IN THE PROGRAM.
I'M JUGGLING, AND SO MUCH IS HAPPENING ALL OVER THE
WORLD, AND SO MUCH DOORS IN FAVOR.
AND HONESTLY, THIS IS ON -- EVEN MY NERVOUSNESS WHEN
THEY ASKED ME TO COME HERE BECAUSE I'VE SAID NO TO SO
MANY THINGS, BECAUSE AGAIN,
I DON'T -- I WANT TO ENJOY MY LITTLE GRANDCHILDREN.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: I WANT TO HAVE TIME TO BE WITH JESUS.
AND I WANT JESUS TO GET THE BEST OUT OF ME.
NOT WHEN I'M TIRED AFTER I'M FINISHED IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT.
REBECCA: THAT'S SUCH A GOOD WORD.
LEIF: I WANT, I WANT MY WIFE TO GET THE BEST.
I WANT MY CHILDREN.
THEY GOT THE LEFTOVERS,
BUT NOW I WANT MY KIDS.
THEY GET ME WHEN MY EMOTIONAL TANK IS FULL.
NOT WHEN I'VE GIVEN TO EVERYBODY ELSE
AND THEN COME HOME.
AND THAT'S THE DANGER, THE WARNING SIGNS.
I FEEL EVEN LATELY I'VE BEEN GOING,
AND NOW I SEE THIS NEW WAVE OF FAVOR AND DOORS
AND EVERYBODY'S PULLING.
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU KNOW,
THESE THINGS CAN PULL YOU AWAY FROM THE VERY THING
THAT WAS NEVER INTENDED.
BUT DECEPTION IS VERY DECEIVING.
REBECCA: SO HOW -- WHAT WOULD YOUR MESSAGE BE
TO YOUNG MINISTERS?
BECAUSE THAT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE,
AND I LOVE SEEING YOU GET TOUCHED BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.
AND I THINK ONE OF THE GIFTS THAT I HAD COMING
FROM MY PARENTS WAS THIS UNDERSTANDING OF HOW
IMPORTANT MY MARRIAGE IS, HOW IMPORTANT MY CHILDREN
ARE, AND SO I AM MORE HOME THAN I AM DOING MINISTRY.
AND I'M OKAY WITH THAT BECAUSE I'M LIKE,
MY CHILDREN NEED ME, AND MY KIDS REALLY,
REALLY NEED ME BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE THREE AND ONE
OR, WELL, NOW ASHER'S FOUR,
BUT WHEN THEY'RE REALLY LITTLE,
THAT'S WHEN THEY NEED YOU THE ABSOLUTE MOST.
BUT, BUT WHAT WOULD YOUR MESSAGE BE TO YOUNG
PREACHERS THAT FEEL THE CALL
AND HAVE THE ANOINTING?
HOW DO YOU -- WHAT WOULD YOUR MESSAGE BE TO FIND THAT
BALANCE SO THAT THEY HAVE GOOD FAMILY LIFE?
THEY HAVE A GOOD SECRET AND INTIMACY
WITH THE LORD.
BECAUSE MINISTERING FOR GOD IS NOT THE SAME AS
HAVING INTIMACY WITH HIM.
LEIF: NO.
I THINK THAT ONE OF THE THINGS IS VERY KEY
TO THE PRESENCE BECAUSE ONE OF THE THINGS WHEN I'M
WITH YOU, REBECCA, I HAVE A HUNDRED THINGS GOING
ON RIGHT NOW.
I AM WITH YOU.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: AND THIS IS A HOLY THING BECAUSE YOU DO THINGS AS
UNTO THE LORD.
WHEN I'M WITH MY WIFE, I'M GOING TO BE 100%.
NOT BEING THE MAN NEXT MEETING WHERE I'M GOING TO BE.
WHEN I'M GOING TO BE WITH OUR GRANDDAUGHTER,
I'M GOING TO BE THERE.
THE ONE PERSON YOU SAW ME IN THE HALLWAY,
I'M 100% WITH THAT PERSON,
OR THE LADY SERVING ME UPSTAIRS,
I'M GOING TO BE THERE.
I'M GOING TO LISTEN.
SO IT'S JUST BEING PRESENT WITH HIS PRESENCE,
WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.
THAT'S ONE MAJOR THING, BECAUSE THE TENDENCY WE
HAVE IS KIND OF WE START WITH GOD
FIRST THEN FAMILY THEN MINISTRY.
THEN -- IT'S NOT THE WAY THAT JESUS HAS OPERATED.
SO FOR ME, IT'S MORE, LET'S DO EVERYTHING AS
UNTO THE LORD.
SO ANOTHER ELEMENT THAT IS IMPORTANT THEN IS TO
EVENTUALLY GOING IN,
WHAT IS REQUIRED OF YOU BY GOD?
SO IF THAT'S A DECISION FOR YOU, FIRST OF ALL,
BY GOD, FOR ME, THERE'S ONLY TWO,
THREE THINGS IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS NOT REQUIRED BY GOD.
IT'S THE MAN'S AND THIS AND THAT COMES IN.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS FOR YOU TO BE A WIFE AND A MOTHER AND
SOME OF THOSE THINGS, THAT IS FOR ME,
AND NOW TO BE A GRANDPA, TOO,
AND TO HAVE TIME FOR THAT.
SO WHEN I KNOW WHAT IS REQUIRED,
WHAT IS THE RETURN?
WHEN I DO THAT, AND WHAT IS THE REWARD?
THE NEED TO BE A REWARD FACTOR ALSO, REQUIRE A RETURN.
REWARD NEEDS TO BE IN ALIGNMENT FOR THEM.
AND THE REWARD FACTOR IS SO THAT YOU DON'T BURN OUT,
MEANING THAT THERE NEEDS TO BE
SOME ENJOYMENT OF BLESSINGS.
IF I'VE BEEN ON A TRIP, SACRIFICE.
LET ME TAKE THE FAMILY TO DISNEY WORLD
OR DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR THEM.
SO THOSE ARE IN ALIGNMENT FOR THE ASSIGNMENT.
SO I THINK THAT THE IMPORTANT THING IS ALSO IS
THAT IF YOU BELIEVE THAT IF YOU TAKE AN AX AND YOUR
ASSIGNMENT IS TO CHOP DOWN THIS TREE AND IT TAKES YOU
TEN HOURS, IF YOU TAKE TWO HOURS TO SHARPEN THE AX
AND WITH A SHARP AX, IT WOULD ONLY TAKE
YOU TWO HOURS.
YOU HAVE SIX HOURS LEFT OVER AND YOU STILL
ACCOMPLISH EVERYTHING THAT HE CALLED YOU TO DO.
SO THE INTIMACY ASPECT OF BEING IN HIS PRESENCE
AND HAVING OIL,
WHAT IS YOUR GAINER AND YOUR DRAINER
IN YOUR EMOTIONAL TANK?
IT'S SO IMPORTANT.
WHAT IS YOUR GAINER?
WHAT GIVES YOU INCOME AND EXPENSE
IN YOUR EMOTIONAL TANK.
AND IN MINISTRY,
WE GIVE, GIVE, GIVE, GIVE.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: YOUR BATTERY GOES DOWN TO EMPTY AND AT THAT
MOMENT THE ENEMY ATTACKS AND HE PUSHES THE BUTTON
AND YOU START TO MOVE INTO THE WRONG MODE.
IT WAS NEVER INTENDED.
SO IF WE'RE NOT AWARE OF THAT, INCLUDING PEOPLE,
INCLUDING THE THINGS THAT GIVES YOU LIFE AND WHAT
DOESN'T GIVE YOU LIFE, TO MAKING SURE YOUR EMOTIONAL
TANK IS ALSO HEALTHY,
THAT'S PART OF YOU LOVING YOU MEANING THAT,
SO BEING WITH A SABBATH AS AN EXAMPLE,
I'M PUTTING THE SABBATH IN NOW AS A HOLY AND SETTING
UP A TIME FOR ME.
SABBATH IS LOVING GOD, LOVING MYSELF,
AND JUST LOVING THE PEOPLE THAT ARE
MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS
THAT IS NOT A MINISTRY.
IT'S NOT AN EXPENSE IN MY EMOTIONAL TANK OR
SPIRITUAL BECAUSE IT GIVES ME LIFE.
SETTING UP MAYBE THREE DAYS A MONTH,
PRACTICALLY SPEAKING, BECAUSE YOU NEED A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
NOW YOU'RE TUNING UP THE ENGINE
INSTEAD OF JUST FILLING A LITTLE BIT GAS IN.
THEN AT LEAST ON A QUARTERLY BASIS,
TAKE A WEEK SO YOU CAN CHECK EVERY ASPECT OF
SPIRIT, SOUL, BODY.
AND THAT COULD BE NOT JUST ME OR BE ON A BEACH,
BUT IT COULD BE.
BUT IT COULD BE ME, MY WIFE,
DEPENDING ON WHERE AND WHAT SEASON
YOU ARE IN LIFE.
BUT WHAT I HAVE SEEN IS VERY CLEARLY THAT BEING
PRESENT WITH HIS PRESENCE AND BEING WHERE I'M
SUPPOSED TO BE, AND GIVE YOU THE FREEDOM FROM,
BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED EVEN WHEN I HAD GOD FIRST,
BUT WHILE I WAS WITH GOD, I SHOULD HAVE
BEEN SOMEWHERE ELSE.
OR IF I WAS WITH MY FAMILY,
IF YOUR MIND IS ON MINISTRY.
REBECCA: YEAH, I THINK THAT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD
WORD, BECAUSE I'VE HEARD SO MANY TIMES,
FIRST, IT'S GOD, THEN YOUR FAMILY,
THEN IT'S MINISTRY.
BUT I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER ASPECT TO THAT.
THAT'S I'VE NEVER HEARD, WHICH IS BE 100% PRESENT.
SO IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE SPENDING TIME WITH GOD,
BE PRESENT WITH THE LORD.
WHEN YOU'RE WITH YOUR FAMILY,
AND THAT'S HARD, ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY LIKE
SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
YOU HAVE LIKE A MILLION THINGS
GOING ON IN MINISTRY.
BUT EVEN LIKE THIS IS SO SAD TO ADMIT.
BUT LIKE IN IN MY GENERATION,
THEY -- WE HAVE LIKE THE STUPIDEST THINGS
TAKING OUR ATTENTION.
IT'S LIKE WE HAVE TECHNOLOGY TAKING OUR ATTENTION.
MY HUSBAND IS ALWAYS LIKE, DON'T BE ON YOUR PHONE
ON WITH THE KIDS.
AND SO IT'S, IT TAKES, I THINK,
MORE DISCIPLINE NOW MORE THAN EVER TO BE PRESENT.
BUT IF YOU ARE PRESENT WITH YOUR CHILDREN,
WITH YOUR SPOUSE, WITH THE LORD, I MEAN,
THAT IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS YOU
COULD GIVE TO YOURSELF AND TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
SO I THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD LIKE ADD-ON TO THAT
WHOLE WORK THING OF HOW TO FIND BALANCE IS TO GIVE THE
PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND YOURSELF AND THE LORD
THE GIFT OF BEING PRESENT.
AND I'M TELLING YOU, WHEN YOU SPEND TIME WITH GOD,
THERE'S NEVER BEEN MORE OF A TEMPTATION TO BE
THINKING ABOUT A MILLION DIFFERENT OTHER THINGS.
LEIF: YEAH, I KNOW IT'S A SABBATH,
BUT ALSO THE REVELATION AS A SON AND DAUGHTER GO BACK
TO OUR BASIC MESSAGE THAT WE STARTED WITH.
DO YOU BELIEVE?
AND IF YOU DON'T, AND I'M NOT ABOUT YOU JUST,
BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT THE VIEWERS.
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE IS MORE FRUIT TO WORK FROM
REST THAN TOWARDS REST?
SO IF YOU SEE THE STARTING POINT, GOD WORKED
FOR SIX DAYS AND THE LAST DAY A MAN CREATION.
THE FIRST DAY ADAM AND EVE EXPERIENCED WITH GOD WAS
DAY NUMBER SEVEN, A DAY OF REST.
SO THAT THE SON AND DAUGHTER SHOULD NEVER SEE
GOD WORKING.
BUT THEY WILL LIVE FROM REST, NOT TOWARDS IT.
SO THE CURSE THAT CAME FROM THE WHOLE SWEAT
WAS VERY DIFFERENT.
SO GO BACK TO THIS WHOLE THING.
IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A REVELATION THAT THERE'S
MORE FRUIT OR PRODUCTIVITY TO LIVE FROM REST THAN
TOWARDS REST, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A PROBLEM.
SO THAT'S A REVELATION.
ALSO, I'M COMING IN, SO THEY HAVE AN ENGINE ON THE CAR.
IF I TAKE CARE, CHECK THE OIL, ENGINE,
EVERYTHING, I TAKE ONE DAY, FILL UP THE TANK.
THAT CAR IS GOING TO RUN BETTER THEN I WAIT UNTIL
IT'S ALMOST EMPTY AND THEN I'M GOING TO TAKE ONE DAY
IN THE END TO FILL IT UP.
SO IT'S JUST ALSO HAVE TO DO THAT.
SUDDENLY, WHEN I REALIZED THE WAY I INVEST MY TIME,
TALENT AND TREASURE IS GOING TO BE VERY DIFFERENTLY
WHEN I HAVE A REVELATION THAT REST IS
YOUR WEAPON OF WARFARE.
AND WHY IS THE ENEMY SO AFRAID OF YOU RESTING?
BECAUSE WHEN YOU REST, YOU RECEIVE.
WHEN YOU RECEIVE, YOU BECOME.
WHEN YOU BECOME, YOU RELEASE.
AND RESTING IS THE KEY.
THAT'S WHY MY SURGEON GAVE ME A SHOT SO I COULD REST
SO HE COULD WORK.
BECAUSE GOD IS WORKING
WHEN WE ARE RESTING.
AND MANY TIMES THE ENEMY WANTS
US TO GOING IN HERE ANXIETY, FEAR.
AND IT'S GET BACK TO THE ORPHAN SPIRIT BECAUSE
I HAVE TO DO TO HAVE TO BECOME OR OTHER PEOPLE'S DEMAND.
BUT IT'S STILL CONNECTED TO THE ORPHAN HEART.
BUT SONS AND DAUGHTERS, JESUS IS AT REST
WITH HIS FATHER.
I DO WHAT I SEE MY FATHER DO.
HE COULD LEAVE THE CROWDS BEHIND AND HE COULD,
COMING IN, AND HE COULD SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE STORM.
SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL STORM.
AND HE PUTS HIS PILLOW.
HE BROUGHT HIS CUSHION.
WHY?
BECAUSE WHERE THE FATHER IS, THERE IS REST,
HE COULD SPEAK TO THE STORMS THAT WAS AROUND HIM.
IF THAT'S IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR IN YOUR FAMILY OR FINE,
HE COULD SPEAK TO THE STORM AROUND BECAUSE HE
DIDN'T HAVE A STORM ON THE INSIDE.
THAT'S WHAT REST DOES.
REBECCA: AND SO THE ORPHAN SAYS YOU HAVE TO DO TO BECOME.
BUT THE SON SAYS?
LEIF: I AM.
AND BECAUSE OF WHO I AM, I ALREADY HAVE.
AND BECAUSE OF WHAT I HAVE NOW, I CAN DO.
SO YOU DO.
SO THERE IS A SPIRIT OF EXCELLENCE.
SO I'M NOT AGAINST,
BUT DID YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE?
ORPHANS I DO, I HAVE, I BECOME.
SONS AND DAUGHTERS,
I AM, I AM, I'M HIS, I'M HIS BELOVED.
I AM.
BECAUSE OF WHO I AM,
I HAVE.
ALL THAT I HAVE IS YOURS.
IT'S ALREADY MINE.
I DON'T HAVE TO AND BECAUSE OF WHAT I HAVE NOW, I DO.
I HAVE AN A-PLUS ON MY REPORT CARD.
I CAN TREAT YOU WITH AN A-PLUS.
SO THE WHOLE DOING THE -- ALL OF THAT COMES FROM
IDENTITY AND INTIMACY.
NOW AS A RESULT OF THAT, HERE'S WHAT I GET TO DO.
BUT THAT'S NOT WHERE MY VALUE COMES FROM.
MY VALUE IS IN WHO I AM, WHO MY FATHER IS.
AND OUT OF THAT, I GET TO DO ALL THESE THINGS
FOR PAPA GOD.
AND IT IS AMAZING.
AND I ALWAYS REPRESENT HIM WELL
BECAUSE THAT'S WHO HE IS.
THAT'S THE DIFFERENT VALUE SYSTEM.
REBECCA: YEAH.
SO MY LAST QUESTION IS FOR THOSE WHO ARE
STRUGGLING WITH THAT ORPHAN HEART,
WHAT IS THE FIRST STEP TO RECEIVE THE SPIRIT OF
ADOPTION IN SONSHIP AND LIVE OUT OF THAT REVELATION?
LEIF: YEAH, I MEAN, A COUPLE OF PRACTICAL.
I KNOW WE HAVE MY BOOK HERE THAT CAN HELP BECAUSE
THERE'S QUITE A FEW PROCESSES.
THERE'S SOME OTHER TOOLS I HAVE.
AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT FOR ADVERTISEMENT
PURPOSE, BUT JUST THERE ARE SOME TOOLS THAT CAN
HELP YOU TO BOTH IDENTIFY.
ONE OF THE THINGS I HAVE THERE, THERE IS A WHOLE LINE THERE.
HERE IS THE ORPHAN WAY
COMPARED TO SONSHIP.
SO YOU CAN KIND OF SEE HOW YOU SEE GOD AND HOW YOU
SEE OTHER PEOPLE.
AND YOU CAN GO LINE BY LINE AND RECOGNIZE SOME OF
THOSE TENDENCIES, OR COULD BE FINANCES,
LOOKING AT HEALTH ISSUES AND GO THROUGH THE LINE.
BUT THE BIG THING FOR ME THAT AGAIN,
FOR ME PERSONALLY SPEAKING AND IT'S DIFFERENT.
I KNOW I'M OPERATING FROM AN ORPHAN TENDENCY.
IT'S HAPPENED ON MY WAY HERE TWICE,
JUST ON MY TRIP HERE THAT THESE THINGS COMES IN.
I KNOW RESTLESS, AND LACK OF PEACE.
THOSE ARE MY TWO INDICATORS.
IT CAN BE DIFFERENT.
THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE.
IT CAN BE A DIFFERENT INDICATOR
HOW YOU'RE WIRED.
BUT FOR ME, I KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, BUT I'M NOT TOTALLY AT REST.
AND THE DOVE DOESN'T TOTALLY FIND A RESTING PLACE.
YOU CAN FEEL THE HOLY SPIRIT.
IT'S NOT TOTALLY AT REST, AND I FIND MY RESTING
PLACE IN MY SONSHIP.
WHEN I GET BACK AGAIN TOWARDS, JONI,
OR TOWARDS YOU JUST TO BE A SON TOWARDS YOU.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT JESUS DID.
MEANING, I'M COMING HERE AS A SON.
I PLACE MYSELF UNDER SOMEBODY ELSE'S MISSION
AND LIFT UP.
THAT'S WHAT SONSHIP DOES, THAT SHIP.
HOW CAN I SERVE?
WHEN I COME FROM BEING A SON WITH
A DOVE, I FIND FREEDOM.
THAT'S WHEN YOU SEE MY FREEDOM.
BUT AS SOON AS, OH, HERE'S A MAN OF GOD, AN AUTHOR.
AS SOON AS I FEEL SOME OF THAT ANOINTING,
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY OR NOT SAY?
AND I FEEL PRESSURE.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: AND I FEEL RESTLESS.
AND THEN THE PEACE GOES AND THEN I WILL TAP IN.
THEN THE ORPHAN THING STARTS TO COME KICK BACK.
BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: TO HAVE TO BECOME.
INSTEAD OF GO BACK TO KNOW I AM A SON.
I'M A BELOVED SON.
BEFORE I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH REBECCA,
I HAD AN A-PLUS.
NOT BASED UPON HOW WELL I DID,
BUT BECAUSE I'M SIMPLY WILLING TO SHOW UP.
BE WILLING TO BE HONEST AND REPRESENT YOU, PAPA.
REBECCA: AND SO IT'S LIKE YOU RESET YOURSELF.
IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU BEGIN TO SEE THAT YOU KNOW,
OKAY, I'M NOT GOING TO MOVE INTO THIS.
I'M GOING TO MOVE BACK INTO KNOWING WHO GOD MADE
ME TO BE, AND I'M NOT GOING TO PERFORM FOR ME.
LEIF: LIKE FOR ME, I TAKE 30 DAYS IF I WANT TO BE PRACTICAL.
IF I DO COACHING AROUND THIS,
THAT'S WHY I SAY TAKE 30 DAYS RIGHT NOW,
AND START TO RECOGNIZE DOVE, PIGEONS AND RECOGNIZE
WHAT ARE SOME OF THOSE THINGS THAT, YOU KNOW,
THE DOVE IS THERE WHEN THERE'S REST AND THERE'S PEACE.
SO FIND OUT WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS.
BUT THEN ALSO TAKE EVEN A NOTEBOOK PAPER AND START
TO NOTICE SOME OF THOSE DIFFERENT THINGS.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE TESTED TO SEE SOME OF THOSE THINGS.
SO IS THIS COMING FROM A PLACE OF REST?
IS THIS COMING FROM A PLACE OF LOVE?
IS THIS COMING WHEN I WANT TO ADD VALUE?
LOVE WITHOUT A HOOK AND ETCETERA.
SO YOU'RE JUST GOING IN AND RECOGNIZE,
AH, HERE ARE SOME OF THAT ORPHAN TENDENCY AGAIN.
OR INSTEAD OF THEN FEELING CONDEMNATION,
NO, IT'S CALLED SELF-AWARENESS.
THAT'S ALL WHAT IT WAS BEFORE.
SO AT THAT MOMENT, WHEN YOU FEEL WEARY AND HEAVY LADEN,
JESUS SAYS, COME TO ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.
THAT'S FOR ORPHANS.
THERE'S NO REASON TO COME TO HIM,
IF YOU ARE NOT WEARY AND HEAVY LADEN.
SO THE PEOPLE THAT ARE EXPERIENCING WEARINESS
AND ARE HEAVY LADEN,
JESUS SAYS, NOW COME TO ME,
COME BACK TO CHAIR NUMBER ONE.
THAT'S THE RESTING PLACE.
MY BURDEN IS EASY.
MY YOKE IS LIGHT.
SO IF YOU FEEL THE PRESSURE IN LIFE,
COME TO ME OR YOU'RE GOING INTO THE STORMS.
DOES JESUS HAVE HIS CUSHION?
AND ARE YOU RESTING WHERE HE IS RESTING?
SO WHAT IS JESUS DOING INSTEAD OF
WHAT JESUS IS NOT DOING?
SO AS SOON AS YOU'RE BEING OVERWHELMED BY WHAT'S
GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO BE
OVERWHELMED BY JESUS?
AND SOMETIMES IT IS TIME FOR
YOU TO ROW AGAINST THE WIND.
THE OTHER TIMES THIS IS TIME FOR YOU TO BRING THAT
CUSHION AND REST WITH JESUS,
BECAUSE IF HE IS RESTING, YOU CAN BE AT REST.
WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR HEALTH
AND ARE YOU GETTING A CALL?
MY GRANDBABY HAS THIS HOLE IN HER HEART
AND THIS IS HOW -- I MEAN.
SO WE HAVE 4 OR 5 OF THOSE THINGS GOING ON ALMOST
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
AND THE TENDENCY IS FOR ME TO THEN LEAD FORWARD OR START
TO PRAY FROM A PLACE WHERE I'LL FORGET
ABOUT MY IDENTITY.
LEANING FORWARD INSTEAD OF LEANING BACK
AS A BELOVED SON.
PAPA, I BELONG TO YOU.
HERE I AM YOUR SON, YOUR BELOVED SON,
AND I NEED YOUR HOLY SPIRIT.
SO JUST COME AND REST UPON ME SO THAT I CAN FIND.
AND THEN FROM THAT PLACE, YOU START TO OPERATE,
I DO WHAT I SEE MY FATHER DO,
AND YOU START TO SPEAK TO THE STORMS AROUND.
NOW YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE GIANT.
YOU START TO SPEAK TO THE GIANT.
REBECCA: YEAH.
LEIF: BECAUSE AGAIN, IT COMES FROM A PLACE OF IDENTITY.
AND OUT OF THE IDENTITY, THERE IS AUTHORITY.
REBECCA: THAT'S SO GOOD.
WELL, LEIF, I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
BEING HERE AND FOR JUST TAKING THE TIME AND
POURING INTO OUR AUDIENCE.
HE HAS HIS BOOK,HEALING THE ORPHAN SPIRIT.
I'M ASSUMING YOU CAN GET THIS
OBVIOUSLY LIKE AMAZON.
LEIF: YEAH, EVERYWHERE, YEAH.
REBECCA: BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GET CONNECTED TO YOU AND
YOUR MINISTRY, WHAT IS THE BEST PLACE FOR THEM TO GO?
LEIF: IF THEY JUST LOOK UP MY NAME,
LEIF HETLAND OR GLOBAL MISSION AWARENESS,
OR THEY CAN EITHER FIND ME ON MY WEBSITE OR ANY OF
THE SOCIAL MEDIA.
I'M NOT THAT BIG ON THE SOCIAL MEDIA,
BUT IT'S ALL OVER THERE.
IT'S USUALLY SOME OF MY STAFF JUST SHARING WHAT
I'M DOING AROUND.
AND ALSO, YOU CAN FIND MY BOOKS.
ALSO, I HAVE SOMETHING CALLED A MASTERCLASS.
IF SOMEBODY'S REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS JOURNEY,
I HAVE THIS 12, KIND OF A 12-WEEK JOURNEY
THEY CAN GO ON WHERE YOU GET THE BAPTISM OF LOVE.
WE ACTUALLY TOOK 1100 PEOPLE JUST LIKE THIS,
BUT I TOOK THEM THROUGH THE 12-WEEK PROCESS TO GO
FROM AN ORPHAN TO BECOMING A BELOVED SON,
AND WENT THROUGH ALL THE DIFFERENT STAGES
WITH ENCOUNTERS, WITH COACHING.
SO WE BECOME MUCH MORE THAN --
BECAUSE WHEN COVID HAPPENED,
I HAD A BLESSING OF SPENDING THE TIME IN A
STUDIO AND TOOK 12 WEEKS AND JUST SET UP ALL THESE
VIDEOS AND INTERVIEW AND HELP PEOPLE HOW TO
RECEIVE, LOVE, THEN GO THROUGH THE PROCESS.
HOW DO YOU BECOME IT?
SO THEN YOU CAN START HOW TO RELEASE IT.
REBECCA: THAT'S AWESOME.
LEIF: YEAH.
REBECCA: WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, LEIF.
LEIF: IT IS MY HONOR, AND THANK YOU
FOR HAVING ME, REBECCA.
REBECCA: AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO
THE REBECCA WEISS PODCAST.
[ LAUGHTER ]